GUEST ALERT! Hide your kids and hide your wife because we're celebrating October by embracing the GHOSTS that walk among us. Do you still talk to your old dead girlfriend even though you've been married to another woman for years? Do we use "sporks" in the after-life? Grab a scone as we welcome Emily Seeley Banos to the pod and see how much a group of adults can piss off a dead, sea captain.
GUEST ALERT! Fill the canteens, pack your socks and pitch a tent, cause this week we're all hanging out in the great outdoors. Erin and Patrick will be safely inside the nearest hotel, warm and toasted as the rest of us are braving the elements. Join us with special guest, Mountain Climber, Author, Speaker and Over-Achiever, JOHN BEEDE, as we shimmy up the side of the weekly cliff that we call, DEAR POD.
Filtered or unfiltered, it doesn't matter. This episode on SMOKING is definitely going to tar up your lungs. Does your 85 years old father practically burn the house down every time he lights up? Is the expression "My Husband Is Smoking In The Bedroom" not a real turn on in your house? Grab a Krispy Kreme and smoke 'em if ya got 'em, cause we're blazing up this week's episode.
We got a wedding ANNIVERSARY in the Maha'a Tiki Lounge this week. It's only nine years but in pandemic time that equals one hundred and thirty seven years. Whether you pay off your spouses bookie or get them an overpriced, sandwich bag full of apples, the gifts are overflowing this year. Let's all pile into the mudroom and get this party started!
Some topics bear repeating. And when you're in the middle of a pandemic, we're going to take the easy way out and give you another take on SHOPPING. Apparently, Moth has more to say on this subject. About 10,000 things more. Let's head to Sears and see what the hub-bub is all about this week.
GUEST ALERT! Power up your computers. Get your masks on. Do not sit next to anyone on the bus. I don't care how you're getting there but dammit, you're going back to SCHOOL. And don't give me any crap that you don't feel well, cause I have a school nurse here today who will take your temperature in the exit only zone. Ya get me?! Just so we're clear.
Do I wife swap? Should I let my kid cut into a golf ball? Do I douse myself with gasoline before shooting this shark with my flare gun? These are the burning questions that one encounter during a GRAB BAG session. So, grab your Stella Doro's and dip. This may be a bit dry.
GUEST ALERT! Come and knock on our door. We've been waiting for this weeks episode on TELEVISION. The Red (actually green) Carpet is rolled out for this week's in-studio guest, 1970's sitcom legend, RICHARD KLINE! The dirt gets dished on everything from Singer Sewing Machine commercials to Herve Villechaize. So, grab your roommates, let's all meet at the "Beagle", and we'll all learn how to blow dry our chest hair.
For the love of God. I know it's summer time. It's supposed to be hot. But can ya arrange for a breeze every now and then? I'm SWEATING my Beans and Franks off over here. Whether it's your palms or your pits, get cozy in front of the A/C today. Cause, we're "dewing" all over this episode.
If you're gonna pass out at the Whole Food, just make sure your Mom is cooking the meal you fainted on. Anything goes today because it's time for a GRAB BAG. Are you losing all of your money at bingo? Do your sons keep losing their temper. Well, let's all grab an unbreakable egg and try to squeeze another episode out of this. You can do it. Keep squeezing!
Where's my stress ball when I need it? I didn't get five minutes of sleep last night cause my $%#@& husband was SNORING. Or maybe you are someone who finds that peaceful. Really? Are you insane? Or, should we just call you "Erin". BTW, you're gonna need your sleep, cause after this week's MOTH REPORT, the images in your head will keep you awake until the Fall season. Enjoy!
Everyone take cover cause mud is being thrown all over this podcast. I don't give a sh&t if you are my best friend. If you don't vote for my guy, this relationship is over! We're four months away from the Presidential Election and POLITICS makes a room intense, upset and irate worse than me clipping my toenails on a crowed subway. I'm not saying that actually happened...but...you get the gist.
Do you have a second? I don't mean to be weird but can you please put some sunblock on my back? Cause, we are smack in the middle of SUNTANNING season and Erin is the poster child for "Melanoma Redhead of the Month". Whether you're catching rays in the buff or in front of your stepfather, you're going to want to increase your SPF levels during this episode. And remember to flip over every ten minutes.
GUEST ALERT! Whether your father is trying to get you laid on your Sweet 16 or your spouse's gift is a beautifully, handwritten letter of expectations and demands, nothing is more exciting to find out what kind of hell awaits you on your BIRTHDAY. So, get your Carvel Cakes out of the freezer as we blow out the candles of all of your expectations for this weeks episode!
GUEST ALERT! Batten down your hatches for a GRAB BAG this week. Just when you think we're gonna zig, we talk about Handicap Parking. Just when you think we're gonna zag, we hit you with Genital Herpes. Let put on the hits and a nice gingham robe as we take our morning coffee with this week's goodness.
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I need a VACATION from this quarantine vacation. Time to pack the suitcases. Go visit friends and do laundry at their house. We’ll probably leave the dogs with them too. I mean, they're little. How hard is it to take care of them? Now, how many Hawaiian shirts should I pack?
GUEST ALERT!!! Do I go with the Basket Weave wallpaper or do we just tear down this wall? Should I repaint the bathroom or should I just divorce my husband? So many questions when it comes to HOME IMPROVEMENT. Put down the nail gun and swatches as special guest, interior Designer, ELLEN Z. WRIGHT guides Erin & Patty through a stress-free design class...with booze.
The clouds have parted. The temperature has risen. Everyone is in a bathing suit and a mask. Some are just wearing a mask. These are encouraging signs that SUMMER is now upon us. Time to get out the JARTS and just start throwing them at each other. God knows we need to be active during this quarantine. Today's episode is brought to you by the hashtag #deargodwhencanistopwearingthismask
Strap into your Man Bra, cause we are giving you GRAB BAG variety today. Should you do bicep curls to prep before you carry your Bride over the threshold? Are you a former Marine who has unique taste in clothes? If we're lucky, by the end of this STREAMYARD episode, we may get new fans from faraway places like California............or Indonesia.
I'm going to be honest about my HAIR. It's not a wig, like most people think. The Friar Tuck bald patch and the receding forehead really belong to me. I don't understand why you people don't believe me. No, Erin and Patrick, I don't want a wig hat. But, I'll admit. They're pretty stylish.
Listen, I know we've known each other for a while now, but for God's sake will you please close the door to the can while you're taking a dump? I don't care how many years we've been celebrating our WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. Some things just aren't meant to be seen by others. That...and a naked Lena Dunham. These are things I choose not to see. Enjoy the show.
What is proper ETIQUETTE in a Zoom Room? Do I have to make eye contact? Can I drink like a fish? Is the wearing of pants optional? Whether you're wondering who picks up the bill for birth control or if college boys make good weekend guests, we have the answers to almost none of your questions this week!
IT'S DEAR POD'S FIRST ANNIVERSARY!!! Pour yourself a tall one, cause we've been drinking all week! Let's take a look back and celebrate the insanity of the little podcast that could. From rival sisters in the advice column business, podcast hosts who only seem to travel to Amish Country, people who actually took the time to take pen to paper-write down their problems-stick it in an envelope and mail it to a high wigged and cheek-boned stranger, to a weekly Specialty Cocktail designed to make you...
In celebration of DEAR POD's 1st Anniversary and over 50 episodes milestone, our very own Patrick O'Brien takes time out of his busy seven day a week operatic vocal lessons and celebrates his colleagues with a heartfelt ditty.
I turns out I discovered the cure to pre-mature balding while I was dreaming the other night. Unfortunately, I was talking in my SLEEP and no one could understand what the hell I was mumbling about. Try not to take anything too literally today as we "express" ourselves during this weeks episode.
We're gloved. We're masked. But we're not wearing any pants. You need as much protection these days when it's a GRAB BAG. So grab your gay dog and that sexy senior citizen down the street. Now let's all twenty three skidoo into todays nonsense.
Does this dress make me look fat? Why, yes. Yes it does. This week, we get honest with the harsh realities of SHOPPING. From choosing the perfect outfit to buying just the right body wash, we take you on a vast journey of...well...only for examples. Let's face it. We can't be here all day. We've got Netflix to binge.
In Memory of Jim Ferris, Jr. Beloved Father to James "Jules" Ferris and Father-in-Law to our own Annnnnnnnnn Landers.
Break out the chocolate malted eggs and dip some stuff in that Paz bowl, because it is EASTER! Can you handle more people at your house for another holiday? Guess what? You don't have to worry about it this year. Suit up your dogs in their shark themed life vest as we dive into this weeks Cadbury goodness.
