"I’m curious about open relationships. How do I talk to my partner about it?" This is one of those thorny sex & relationship topics that a lot of us tread lightly around. We know it's sensitive, and if we're past the dating phase (i.e. we're married/in a long-term committed relationship), it can feel like the stakes are high. Like if we even raise the question, we could jeopardize this relationship that means a lot to us. If you've ever wondered how to bring up possibly opening up your relat...
Sep 29, 2023•1 hr 8 min
When we think about sexy turn-ons and arousal -- especially when we're engaging in solo play -- many of us think about visual porn. The numbers bear this out: according to Psychology Today , 80% of men and 26% of women have watched internet porn within the last week. But what about other ways of being turned on? Specifically, what about erotica? It turns out a whole bunch of men are into audio porn (oh hi, ASMR) as well as story-based erotica and erotic fiction. This week's guest is an erotic fi...
Sep 22, 2023•53 min
How do you know if you're being creepy? For many of our clients, the fear of making a woman uncomfortable -- or being seen as creepy -- can be debilitating or even paralyzing. These men are often concerned that they're "bad" just for wanting sex (hint: You're not. You're just human.). If you've ever been afraid of being perceived as creepy or a pervert, you're not alone -- even men in relationships have this fear. Much of it stems from early childhood experiences, including religious trauma. And...
Sep 15, 2023•55 min
Ever found yourself resentful of a relationship partner? Maybe you feel like you're always giving and never getting much in return. Perhaps you've seen her as selfish, not providing you with the respect, love, attention, or sex you need in order to feel connected. Everyone has heard, "You can't love someone else until you love yourself," but what does loving yourself actually mean? Hint: It's not just taking bubble baths or treating yourself to fancy pastries. Self-love is the bedrock of relatio...
Sep 08, 2023•1 hr 2 min
Let's be real: For many men, it's often hard to figure out women. Moods change quickly, and often you know something is going on but you're not sure what (or how to find out). It's also hard when you feel like nothing you do is ever enough for her. Here we talk about feminine testing, and what it means to play with it by tussling. When she pushes your boundaries or overreacts to something seemingly small, what's really going on? Why does she seem to pick fights sometimes, but other times melt in...
Sep 01, 2023•1 hr 16 min
If you want a woman to fully surrender to you, you've got to inspire deep trust in her. This includes sexually -- a woman who deeply trusts her man is infinitely more likely to open up when it comes to sex. And most men want to be trusted. They want to be satisfying to their partner sexually, emotionally, and physically. They want their partner to feel safe with them. Trust is the basis of safety, upon which relationship thrives, but it's not always easy to grasp what it means to be trustable. S...
Aug 25, 2023•1 hr 17 min
Shadow work is popular in the personal growth community, and for good reason — it can be deeply transformational. Many people report deeper and more lasting shifts with shadow work than with years of talk therapy. But what’s talked about less often is how sexy shadow work can make you. As a woman who has sex with men, I can attest to this — a man who does real shadow work is hot. Period. Here, Jason and I join forces with Luke Adler, doctor of Chinese medicine, healer, and men’s coach, to talk a...
Aug 18, 2023•1 hr 4 min
In our work with men who have sex with women, we've noticed a few distinct categories. There are three specific archetypes of men we see most commonly, and here we outline their patterns. We do this in part because I want to reveal the deep yearning on the part of a lot of women who relate with men romantically. While the themes discussed in this episode are relayed in the frame of men who relate with women romantically, and vice versa (many of whom identify as heterosexual/straight), I believe ...
Aug 11, 2023•1 hr 19 min
Want a woman to feel deeply, profoundly, extraordinarily safe with you? Able to surrender fully, relaxing all the way into your arms, allowing her body to open to you in ways you never knew were possible? Then you need to know about this. Whether you're dating or in a long-term committed relationship, there's an underlying fear that, according to Violet, who has worked with hundreds of women and heard from thousands, 99% of women have. It's a fear you may share. And if it's not addressed, it can...
Aug 04, 2023•1 hr 7 min
How did you learn to be a man? From whom did you learn, and what did they impart? More importantly, if this isn't how you want to be now, how you grow beyond what you learned? We learn how to be who we are from our parents and other caregivers. If you grew up with men who were absent, alcoholics, abusive, or just not emotionally attuned, then there are gaps in your knowledge. Here we talk about how to fill those in -- and how to replace bad role models with good ones. A few things we cover in th...
Jul 28, 2023•1 hr 5 min
Do you know you have trauma stuck in your body, but you're not sure how to move it? Perhaps you're aware that your issues are in your tissues, but you don't know what to do about it. If anyone knows what it's like to feel stuck around sex, dating, and relationships, it's Jason. He was a late bloomer, self-proclaimed Nice Guy, and didn't feel successful with women for a long time -- didn't even have sex for the first time until his late 20s. Plus, even outside of relationships, for most of his li...
Jul 21, 2023•53 min
If you want a thriving, connected sex life with your partner, but feel like something's in the way ... it could be sexual trauma. The fact is, 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys are survivors of child sexual abuse. To put that in perspective, that's 42 million women and 21 million men in the US alone. The bad news? We don't talk about this nearly enough, so it can feel overwhelming and scary to address. The good news? It is addressable, and no matter who you are or what happened, you can have a beauti...
Jul 14, 2023•1 hr 6 min
Was your family skilled at teaching you about sex? Was your school, or your religious community? HA. I'm guessing not. Many families of origin suck at talking about sex, dating, and relationships. And whether you grew up in a religious house or not, sex education tends to also be subpar, especially when it comes to teaching about sexual communication. How do you ask a partner for what you really want? How do you tell someone they're missing the mark when it comes to something sexual (like oral s...
Jul 07, 2023•1 hr 19 min
Has your woman ever been in her masculine, and you wished she was in her feminine? Here's something that doesn't work: "Hey, could you drop into your feminine already?" ;) So how do you polarize your woman well? Polarity is one of those mysteries in life like electricity: We don't fully grasp why it works, but we can harness its power to make our lives better. I love polarity work because it can make a concrete difference in sex, love, dating, and relationships. I've seen countless clients ditch...
Jun 30, 2023•1 hr 10 min
Ever have trouble concentrating, or beat yourself up for not getting more done? Do you give yourself a hard time for watching porn & masturbating? Wonder why you just can't kick that habit you know is unhealthy (smoking weed, playing video games, drinking alcohol, etc.)? All of this is related to loneliness. Whether you live alone and work from home, are single and dating and longing for relationship, are divorced and missing what you used to have, or are in a relationship but often feel dis...
Jun 23, 2023•1 hr 5 min
"I just can't make up my mind. Sometimes I feel like I'm settling, and that makes me sad. Sometimes I feel blessed to have someone as amazing as this woman who wants to be with me. The question I have is, if I'm having doubts or feelings that I might be settling, does that mean she's not The One? Or is it normal to have these feelings sometimes?" If you've ever wondered whether you're in the right relationship or should seek something better, you're not alone! Dating is, in part, about figuring ...
Jun 16, 2023•1 hr 7 min
A lot of the men we work with don't want to be That Guy. The guy who's creepy or pervy or weird. The guy who makes women feel unsafe, whether on a date or in a relationship. But how do you figure out how to get consent while still maintaining your masculine core? Is it uncool to ask for permission to kiss her? (Spoiler alert: No.) And how does consent work on a porn set? Porn stars still need to navigate the world of what's going to feel good for someone and what's not, and as it turns out, a lo...
Jun 09, 2023•52 min
All of the men we work with, whether married, dating, or single, want women to feel safe with them. It's important to them that women trust them -- that women feel secure around them (even if that's "just" on a dating app). And women don't tend to feel deeply safe unless they feel claimed. In one woman's words: “When a man doesn’t claim me, I feel anxious and stressed and find myself not wanting to be vulnerable." Another said, "When a man doesn't claim me it feels confusing... like, 'Huh?' I'm ...
Jun 02, 2023•1 hr 3 min
Relate to any of the following dating and relationship questions? In dating, I tend to get attached/excited about someone fast, and then really disappointed when it doesn’t work out. How do I lessen the intensity of this? (This includes if you've just been messaging with someone on a dating app like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OKCupid, etc. and you thought it'd go somewhere but then it didn't) I brought something to a woman that I thought she'd appreciate, and she didn’t respond. Did I do something w...
May 26, 2023•32 min
If you've ever been concerned about erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation and looked at male-bodied porn stars with envy, here's a fun fact: Close to 100% of male-bodied porn stars use Viagra/Cialis/other sexual performance enhancement drugs in order to perform on set. That's not the only thing that might surprise you about sex, love, dating, and the behind-the-scenes truth about pornography. Here, porn director Holly Randall outlines some of the differences between the sex shown in porn...
May 19, 2023•1 hr 1 min
When a woman is going through a tough time (especially for an extended period of time), it can be easy to fall into a codependent dynamic. When she relies heavily on you to help her feel better, this can be taxing on your nervous system. And nobody wants codependence! How do you stay steady when things like financial stress, fertility issues, job concerns, or hard family dynamics cause a wife, girlfriend, or other woman partner to turn to you more than ever? Here we talk about what it means to b...
May 12, 2023•1 hr
Oral sex can be super hot. In fact, some people consider it even more intimate than intercourse. As one writer put it, "Sexual intercourse is mostly selfish. Sure, you want the other person to get off, but your own orgasm is your first priority. But giving head is, at the core, a selfless act." Speaking of orgasm, 70%+ of women who have sex with men don't tend to cum through intercourse ... but many can if you go down on them! Yep, going down on her can be super important in some cases, since it...
May 05, 2023•58 min
Let's say you're doing the work, and meet someone else who's doing the work. Now you're in a conscious relationship! Mazel tov! Now what do you need to know about sex, love, relating, and how it all connects? When you've got two people who are growing, you've got tremendous potential. You've also got some other stuff. ;) Allana has 20 years of helping both singles and couples with sex, love, and relationships, so she's able to speak to the larger patterns that emerge in the work. According to he...
Apr 28, 2023•59 min
Sex is part of life, and major life events affect our sex lives. Here are just a few things you might've wondered about in the course of your own sex life: How do I overcome erectile dysfunction without drugs? (like Viagra or Cialis) What do I do if she's less into sex than me? (a difference in libido, which sometimes involves an arousal disorder) My wife had a baby and now intercourse hurts. Are we ever going to have great sex again?? What if my woman partner has dryness or pain during sex, esp...
Apr 21, 2023•1 hr 15 min
Trauma recovery might not seem like the sexiest topic, but you guys, it is . When it comes to to having healthy, passionate, connected sex, dating, and love relationships, it's everything! You may have become aware (through, perhaps, this podcast) that you've likely got some childhood neglect or other kind of trauma background, and you may be wondering whether that's ever resolvable. The answer is YES. Even if you've been through the wringer. Which Michael Unbroken has. A survivor of poverty, ch...
Apr 14, 2023•1 hr 8 min
"I'm a comedian, and now I’m an accidental matchmaker!" So says Alli, self-proclaimed theater geek and creator of Love Isn’t Blind — a new dating show where 4 men compete for 1 woman, and the men can’t speak. She's also the creator of the dating show where celebrities read your breakup texts. What's especially interesting is that as someone reading hundreds of applications to her dating show, Alli has a fascinating breadth of experience when it comes to what men are looking for in women, and vic...
Apr 07, 2023•1 hr 2 min
One of the most inspiring things we've seen in our work with men is the rejuvenation of relationships. We've seen clients in long-term, committed relationships that felt flat, off, or just not exciting ... become vibrant and vivid again. We've seen couples get hot sex back! (often better than ever). We've seen closeness and intimacy be reestablished, often more intensely than had ever been true before. But before this renewal period, there was suffering. Often in the form of reverse polarity. Es...
Mar 31, 2023•1 hr 19 min
Ever experienced the relationship pattern where she essentially says, "I was hurt by this thing you did," or, "I need you to love me better/differently" — and then you feel like you've failed, pull away, and maybe even have the desire to just stop trying altogether? Whether you're in a dating relationship or a long-term, committed relationship like a marriage, this is a very common relationship pattern. It can be easy for women to be critical or share feedback in ways that are not at all constru...
Mar 24, 2023•1 hr 19 min
Curious about sexting, or how to bring it up/do it in the context of a new dating relationship? Maybe it's an edge you'd like to push, or maybe you're not even sure what it really is . (Hint: it can also spice up your marriage/long-term committed relationship.) Dr. Tara grew up in sexually conservative Thailand, and went through her own sexual awakening over the course of years. Here we cover her fun, sexy journey from Catholic schoolgirl to full-on, liberated tenured professor of sexual communi...
Mar 17, 2023•1 hr 2 min
Real talk: Dating can be hard! So many of us long to connect with one another, but the process can feel ... challenging. Whether you're contending with approach anxiety, not knowing what to text or when to call, when to ask her on an actual date (should you get to know her first via the text thread?), or how to gracefully handle rejection or ghosting ... it's a lot. And straight men on dating apps also have to contend with the fact that they tend to get far fewer messages and responses and atten...
Mar 10, 2023•1 hr 19 min
