Sam: Part 1 - Abuelita Works Security… at Sam’s Club

Have you had a few dates but don't know why they fizzle out, not getting a text back and don't feel like going ghostbusters? Is your family asking when you're going to bring back somebody home. If you've turned to your Ahalita for help in the past, maybe she can help again.

Now.

This is Date My aw Walita First, where our fabulous Awalita Liliana plays matchmaker for our star dater and three lucky contestants looking for Awalita's stamp for approval.

Let Aurita soul of your dating worlds and turn them into.

I am your host, Vico Ortiz, joined by our lovely Aulita Li.

Lalita Vicoso Totos meets me at this I am so so beyond excited to help you love Brits, find all the love you're looking for.

And.

I love it. I will eat that. Today's main dat is Sam.

Sam has been single for three years and is just flat out tired of the ups and downs of using apps, either talking so much on them that there's this like preconceived notion, or talking so little that it's like do you even want to meet me?

Please? Let me tell you. I have never had to deal with apps. I'm too old for that. There were no apps back in the time, but maybe things were going to be a little simpler before, you know, there was like you don't have to worry about anything online, or maybe they're just a little too easy right now. I can't imagine how I handle having a billion singles on my fingertips.

I know, I feel like you, you would totally be into that. I mean you you're looking for a husband number six, so I feel like you might want to get on the apps ilually eat that.

Let's bring in Sam.

Sam is a self proclaimed star personality, a little bit more extroverted and once someone who is okay letting them shine just a little bit more. Sam's own grandparents seem to be confidants in their love life, so Sam's got a lot of trust in the power of a Walitas already Welcome Sam.

What's up.

Hi?

How's it going so great? So great?

Sam?

Tell us a little bit about who you are.

Obviously we know your name, but your age, What sparks joy in your life? What foods you hate, you love, et cetera. Three fun facts.

Okay, so I'm twenty eight years old. What sparks joy like painting art? I lived in Chicago for a really long time, so I really miss like that walkable city.

But I just can't do snow anymore.

A food that I really hate I hate mashed potatoes, which is like a very like everyone kind of gives me shit for that. I work in photo management. I really love anything creative and yeah.

Love love love, Oh my gosh, thank you for that intro. How I need that?

I am so ready for Sam? Are you ready for I need that? Are you ready?

I'm ready?

Well, my love, I want to ask you a very importante question. Please, why are we all here today? Because we want to find love just a dating relationship, a casual encounter. What does Sam want?

Just like out the gate, I'm like a monogamous person, like down, you know what I mean. Like I've definitely been single for like yeah, the three years. I'm newly sober, so that's another thing that's like just like had me way more clarity in life. I'm like open to a relationship with the right person. I'm also open to like friends of benefits. Like I guess I'm just pretty open

What are those qualities you're looking for.

I definitely want someone that's affectionate, someone that's like really open minded, and someone dependable reliable I guess like slash, someone who could like speak their minds.

That sounds wonderful. But there's one thing I want to add. Congratulations and being sober. Oh thank you, what an amazing thing to do. Yes, absolutely, I love that.

Okay, just said you've been zinicle for three years. How was that last relationship?

What are some things that you've learned from that, things that you definitely want to for sure like continue to work on, or the things that you're like, actually, I've learned that I don't want that anymore. What were some of those like educational moments.

I think like an educational moment for me was that like, even like the past few relationships, I would rushed into relationships just to be with somebody just because like they like really liked me. And I was like, oh my god, like someone's best quality to me is liking.

Me, you know what I mean?

So I was like, oh, the fact that like they're down, I was like, really attracted to that, and of course I was attracted to them at the point, but like there were just things where like because like I wasn't mature enough and like self aware enough to know that like more for more or less words, I couldn't like just change somebody to be who I want them to be. I just have to accept somebody one percent for who

With that in mind, how do you see yourself now approaching conflict? How do you want to handle repair?

I definitely just want to like have that open stream of communication about like if someone if I hurt someone's feelings, like not taking that personal and just like being like, oh I'm more now like instead of like taking a personal white hurts someone's feelings, I'm like great for the opportunity to like hear someone out and like learn from that, because like hurting someone's feelings isn't the end of the world.

It's just going to happen.

I feel that so hard.

Having friendship conflict along the way has really helped me, you know, like kind of have that groundwork for relationship confrontation.

How do you go about communicating your needs?

I'm a pretty direct person. Yeah, I'm pretty like I want this. Are you okay with that kind of person? No?

No?

No?

Did?

I just like I lose my patience with like indirectness, Like I needed to.

Kind of be blunt.

You know, there's a blunt with you. I love it.

I'm like very attracted to that.

Tell me one thing, you are ready for a relationship?

I am.

Yeah.

So what is the most serious relationship you've ever had.

I've had like three various serious relationships that have all lasted around two years.

Oh wow.

The first one, I was like eighteen and he was like twenty six, So that was just kind of like going to end.

Yeah you know, yeah, fair, but it was serious.

And then the second one was just kind of like that first queer relationship, It.

Was kind of just like.

And then the third one of my most recent kind of like during lockdown, spending all that time together just have me realizing that, like we are not a.

Match where you go have a dating with this person. Yeah, gotcha? Oof. Yeah, I feel that.

A lot of relationships went down the drain.

So I moved to La, like after we broke up from where Chicago?

Right on?

I know you've been single for three years, but have you been actively dating? Have you been going out? Has been the dating scene for you in La?

Yeah?

I like dat around. I like him on the apps?

You know, I don't love the apps.

Are you had the approacher or the approach he I approach definitely.

Yeah, I'm definitely attracted someone that would approach me.

I love that.

An ideal date would it look like would you be the one preparing it or would you allow somebody to prepare it for you?

What's the vibe?

I would love someone to prepare it for me because I am someone who usually prepares everything. It's like I'm not very much like the prepare the planner. I'm just like I'm a boss.

Like if you're the approacher, then you are doing it all exactly.

So like when someone is just like a bigger boss than me and like takes control of that, I'm just like, Wow, that's like very like horny to me.

Yes, yes, I love that word. I'm amazing. I love that.

What does it mean? No, I'm kidding.

I'll tell you when you're older.

Oh yes, I.

Do.

Check this out. You have three matching tattoos with your exes. I do, Yeah, I do. Did you do it because things felt so sure or just because you're always down for a new tad or anything like I have.

Zero comitment issues, I would say, yeah. Like I'm just like because to me, every relationship that I'm in, I don't plan on breaking up until it happened, you know what I mean.

Like it's not like I'm like this is going to end. I'm just kind of like it may end, it may not, but who cares?

Like you know what I mean? For now?

Like who cares?

I have one here that's like very faded because it's just pink. But it was just like an ear. Oh like just like an ear, but like we both.

Got it like pay attention or what what was the ear for?

Like posted flash? And we were both just like hanging out and we just were like, oh, we should both get this. And then I have like these dog cherries that I have with my most recent ex we just like like dogs and we got that. Oh my god, do you mind if I take my pants off.

And show you, please do it to our listeners. We are having a great time here.

So I have I love here. Oh my god, yes, yes, oh my goodness to meet him, Oh my god.

And it's like so it's a very fun when we got bad together, just because it was like a Friday the thirteenth special.

So none of them really mean anything, but they all were just fun.

I really want to know if Sam and I are getting a tat together.

I meant tattoo. She's finishing for a tongue at that through, so maybe you'll get.

To oh gorgeous, I'm ready.

I love it.

Well, thank you so much for being here with us, Sam, We appreciate you sharing a bit of yourself. I will need that is going to do her best to keep you off those damn apps, So just go ahead and book your tattoo apointment. Well, I want to eat that works her magic. I'm ready know, Mosiae, I will eat that.

What do you think we're looking for in Sam's partner?

A person who's affectionate, a person who's monogamous, A person who is would be very nice so they can compliment each other in that way. They want to take their time and have fun and find love. So we're here for them. Absolutely.

I think definitely someone who's very intentional, someone who's a go getter as well just as a hard worker, someone that can stand their own and don't like mashed potatoes. Absolutely yeah, no need for mas potatoes, no need for meshatas.

All right, when we get back, we'll start our round of guffeschitos. Gonna wili that welcome back today, my hourly the first.

All right, I think it's time to let our three contestants into our Liita's.

House for a little speed date action. Let's get our little guffercito going.

Oh, Anita following, fill up these thatsses already this stuff?

All right, Oliita, it's meat Skyler. What's good? Skyler? Tell else about yourself.

Hi, I'm Skyler, I use him, and they then pronouns I'm a graphic designer and illustrator and I like to foster and rescue CAATs. Oh also, I'm twenty e twy seven cute.

I love that, well a pleasure, Skyler.

I'm gonna go ahead and pass you off to I will lead that for a guffe seat those speed date go ahead, I will lead them take it away.

How are you, my love?

I'm good.

How are you? I am well? Thank you? You are adorable. Oh just say that and get it out of the way. Okay, let's ask you a few personal questions, like what kind of person have you been dating so far? And what is it that you're looking for? Something different?

I guess mainly what I be core is that people are kind and interesting. I find myself dating people that have like sort of different interest than me a lot of the time as well, just because I like to hear people talk about what they're passionate about. So as long as somebody is, you know, kind of like enthusiastic about the world and they like to learn think about things, that's the kind of person I'm into.

Have you been dating a lot lately or not so.

A couple of years ago, I got out of a pretty serious relationship and I've been dating casually since then, so, you know, like seeing I guess a good amount of people, but not very seriously, especially since I just moved from LA.

So what was serious about it? And how long did it last?

We were together a couple of years and we were actually engaged.

Oh my goodness, you know, things happen for a reason in life. It's all good, you know. We learn from every experience. Now, what are you looking for right now?

I'm looking for somebody that I guess just to share my life with. I don't necessarily need to be hyper committed, but I like to have a partner, you know. I like to have somebody who could like participate and kind of be along for the ride of what I'm doing.

Okay, now, you mentioned that you are not close with your family.

Correct, not super close to know. We're kind of working on it. But when I first came out, we had sort of a rough few years and we're kind of in the process of preparing that relationship that I'm not particularly close to them yet. I guess there's just kind of some like tess that has to be rebuildable where they're kind of allowed back into my personal life.

And I'm sorry about that, but I'm very happy that you guys are working on it, because the most important thing that we are trying to do here is to help people understand what is going on that at the end of the day, we are all human and we all just want love company to be accepted for who we truly are, so I commend you for moving on and trying to repair that relationship with them. You did say that you have found a lot of life love and mentors from the LGBQT community. What has that been about.

I mean, I came out as transgender when I was fifteen, which is super common for people in my age range. So I experienced a couple of years of instability, we'll call it.

And I don't know that I.

Would have made it through without my community. When you're coming from kind of a vulnerable, marginalized group, like really what you have as each other and so I was really supported and looked out for by people from my community, and so I really aspire to do that for other people. You know, my home is always open. I'll do whatever I can to help other people.

Okay, Scylar, you're making me cry now. No, my heart is very open to everything that you are saying, because it is absolutely imperative that this world opens up and accepts everyone for who they truly, truly are. I'm very proud of you, and I'm very happy that you found that comfort in others, especially in your LGBTQ community. So thank you for that. Another question is go a little bit happier times here. No, hello, hello, hello, Oh I

I definitely don't need a person to be on my level. The several of my friends have informed me that maybe my habits are a little out of the ordinary when it comes to clean and I'm not particularly picky about like chores or anything, but you know, sort of like a base level of cleanliness and hygiene is very important to me. I can be a little a little bit hussy about that.

They're so funny, just that little bit. No, let's talk about the fact that you work with animals. Oh yeah, you work in a doggy daycare. Correct, So I just left that.

Job actually, and now I'm all time with illustration and graphic design.

Again, that is amazing, Good for you, thank you.

But yeah, I got started working in animal care pretty young, like when I was twelve, I started volunteering at the main society, and then all through art school I worked at different doggie daycares and then I just kind of finished up in others then with a doggy daycare.

That's all the time we've got for this scuff I seed though, thank you for coming by Ahwalita's house, Skyler.

We'll talk very very.

Soon, thank you, Skyler.

All right, next up, Awalita, meet Destiny.

Tell us a bit about who you are, your name, your age, where you're from, what you're doing, your zodiac sign, if you want to share that too, go for aight.

Okay, Hi, I'm Destiny. I am twenty four. I've been in LA for five years. My grandparents raised me, and my grandpa was in the military, so army bra is the term.

So I lived in Texas, Utah, Germany, Colorado, and then I went to high school there, came here to pursue acting. So I love, you know, acting, I love poetry, reading any sort of creative things, painting, that sort of thing.

And I'm a Scorpio.

Fuck yes, I really Okay, God tell us about Scorpio.

It's they're one of my favorites.

All right, Destiny, I'm gonna hand you over for a little guff I see those speedy that they get.

Away, Okay, Destiny. I was reading a little bit about your bio, and I have to tell you, I was pretty touched by the fact that not only you are three years sober, yes, but did you actually work at a nightclub? Yeah? Tell me how that has been in your life.

Honestly, at first, I think it was a little bit harder to transition into it.

But I think I have good coping skills.

I have like a good I don't know, just my life is better, so it doesn't it's not as tempting. You know. I go there just to work, and I'm at work and that's kind of how I view it and then I leave it there. But yeah, a lot of my friends, you know, they still like to go out and do all that, and I'm just kind of I'm like, I'm here with my water or my Red Bull or whatever. But I'm still very like outgoing. I like to dance and do fun things. I just yeah, don't need alcohol to have fun anymore.

Good for you, Very proud of you.

Thank you.

Now let's talk about your dating life.

What is it like.

I guess in high school until my early twenties, I didn't really have anybody that I liked that much. And then I think I started dating more like around twenty one or whatnot. But yeah, it hasn't been anything super long term except for I guess maybe there's one person that was about like three months, but even that is not that long.

Soa and what are you looking for now?

I think I'm in a better place now, So I think just somebody that's supportive, caring, where we can have fun together, we can laugh together, but also, you know, be there for each other through things.

And yeah, I think just you know, basic things, be able to comunicate, work through things, and yeah, have fun together.

Sounds good. Now. You mentioned being raised by your grandparents, Yes, yeah, yeah, and you have a very strong relationship with them.

Yes.

Yeah, they don't live here, but I call them almost, you know, every day. I talk to them about pretty much everything. And yeah, they're from a different generation, but they're they're always very supportive, you know, so sometimes they don't understand certain things, but they're there in the ways that they know how to do.

So I'm really grateful.

That is very nice. How you put it, in the way that they know how Yeah, exactly.

That.

The one thing that we do know is that I will lead us, will always be there for us, right, and that's the love and the support counts more than anything. But tell me what kind of role have they played in your dating life?

Honestly, And my Grandma's always been like, Okay, date somebody that's like at least got goals and ambition or whatever, because you don't want to be with somebody if there, because she knows I have a lot of plans and I want to do things.

So she's like, that's kind of a big thing. And my grandpa's kind of, I don't know, he's more chill. He's just like I was long as love each other. That's fine.

But yeah, okay, so you've told us that you went to theater school. Yeah, and you want to write and perform in stories from communities that don't have their stories told. Is there any story in particular that you would like to tell?

On the top of my head, probably more minority groups.

I guess it's getting a little bit better with representation, which is super important, but I think there's still a lot further that it can go, you know, And I would like to see minority groups living like thriving, happy lives and not at always being something super sad or depicted in such like a stereotype you know, Like I'm like, we're all just people and we have great fun lives too.

It doesn't have to just be that certain thing.

In this new relationship. What is the best thing you want to find?

I don't think I've ever really been in love.

I would like to think it's a beautiful, happy thing, you know, But I don't think three months is long enough to really fall in love with somebody.

So I think, yeah, just finding love with somebody would be great.

I'm so sorry to interrupt, but that's our time. Thank you for coming, by Destiny. We'll talk soon, all right.

When we get back, we'll have our third and final cafescito, So don't go anywhere. Welcome back to date, my a Wlita. First, a Wilda, get ready to sit another cafesito. Let's jeepy Angela, Hello Angelo, what's good?

Okay?

A Wilita is very ready to spill the tea or I mean a bit of caffescito.

But first tell us a bit about who you are. Angela.

My name is Angela. I use them pronouns. I live in Los Angeles.

I was actually born in the Philippines, but I grew up essentially in southern California, and I got my masters in art history, which is really cool. I submitted my thes like aget mid August, sort of last year. Fun fact, I'm a Libra, I'm a Libra's son, and I actually get a lot of compliments on my chart, Like people say it's pretty balanced. But those two placements you.

Said, Libra's son and Venus. Yes, I'm obsessed. I'm a Libra as well. But my venus as in Virgo, which is a fun little loop that's a fun company. Yeah, it's a fun combo. Fabulous. I'm gonna hand you over now for a little golda go for it.

How are you, Angela? Hi, I'm good.

How are you?

I am doing wonderful trying to find love for all of you.

Here.

We're gonna talk a little bit about your dating life, so tell me a little bit about it.

To be honest, I was not really dating from like high school to the beginning of grad school. I was very much a career person. I was like, I need to succeed, I need to, you know, hit these kind of milestones in my career. I have a lot of wonderful friends whom I love. I consider them my fine family. So It's not like I haven't like formed any relationships. It's just that i'd never foregrounded love relationships sex so

Oh I can't imagine that. Yeah, they're very conservative.

Not that many people of color, not many queer, trans, don binary people. So it was just kind of not really the community that I wanted for myself. And it kind of became like a parent when I was like looking at the dating pool and I was like.

This is not that great. So now that you are ready, what are you looking for.

I don't go into interactions being like I need to have like a relationship. I think that every say, person that I meet on a dating app, we can talk, we can go on a date, we can even look up. But like, if it develops into something, if I really like you, that's cool, But if it doesn't, it doesn't I'm really like in a place where I'm not trying to sounds very real es myself, Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's

And that is why you're here with us.

Now.

We have heard that you're currently not close to your family, no, but you do have a good network of loving people around you. What role have they played in your dating life? What's the advice that you get.

I can get kind of like daydreaming. I can just get carried away with things really quickly. What do you mean, Let's say that I'll get to in my head about a person that I just met. Okay, you know, I'll just like think of too many scenarios and kind of overthink things.

That's the studious part of you.

Research research, Yeah, exactly, yes, And my friends will be there to either be like, okay, like this is a realistic thing for you to be thinking about versus Hey, let's kind of bring you back to earth and ease a little bit into it and like clear your head a little bit, think a little bit more rationally and think about what's good for you.

So you're working on it. You're willing to change all of this in the future for sure. The person that you meet, absolutely, I am so.

Sorryla, that is the time for our speed.

Gofa seat though I know, thank you, I know you always do.

Thank you, Angela. It was so great to hear a little bit about yourself.

So A, Wilita, it looks like we've got some really great candidates for Sam.

What are your thoughts?

I think each of our dats is very different, so it's gonna come down I think, to how they play our games, the things that they say, and where we can find the match for our main dat.

Oh well, okay, Ra, for now, that's all the heat we can handle. Tune in next Thursday when.

We'll be back to play a few speed dating games and.

Awalita will select le mecor.

Stick around until next week to find out Whuliliana will choose for Sam, and remember to subscribe to Date my Houri the first word ever you get your podcasts.

Date my Ahlita.

First is a production from WV Sound and iHeartMedia's Michael Tura podcast network, hosted by me vicordis joined by the fabulous Lena Montenegro. Date My Awurlita First is produced by Leo Clem, Nico Raquel, and Luigi Villianeva. Our executive producers are Wilmer Valdorama, Leo Clem and Nico Requel a WV sound. This episode was edited by Sean Tracy and Nico Raguel. The original artwork for this show was created by Mac McLain. This episode features original music by Gabe Lopez. Special thanks

Additional thanks to Salt and Lime Media.

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See you next week, and in the meantime, Don't do anything Awanita wouldn't do.

Just do it better, besit us