In this Dear DSO episode, I respond to a man who saw the signs early on—but kept going. She told him who she was from the beginning. The problem? He didn’t listen. We talk about the consequences of ignoring red flags, the fantasy that keeps men trapped, and why your gut instinct is often your best guide. If you’ve ever thought, “I should’ve known better,” this one’s for you. Join The HFM Brotherhood!
Today’s Dear DSO submission is from a neurodivergent man—he’s got ADHD, a lot of anxiety, and not much dating experience. He feels like he’s defective, like he’ll never figure out how to talk to women or attract them. He sent in a long list of brutally honest questions: “How do I feel confident when women have all the power?” “How do I not look needy just by showing interest?” “Do normal guys really know what they’re doing?” This one hit hard, and I think a lot of men—especially autistic or ADHD...
Most men don’t see it coming—until their marriage is on life support. One day she’s your best friend and lover… the next, she’s distant, irritable, and completely checked out. You think you did something wrong. You didn’t. In this video, I break down the biological and psychological changes that happen during menopause—how they affect your wife, your relationship, and what you can do about it. This is a wake-up call for every man who wants to stay married in midlife. Join The HFM Brotherhood!...
This one’s brutal. A 36-year-old man marries a 49-year-old woman who insisted they wait until marriage for sex. Two years in, he’s still never touched her. No sex. No intimacy. Nothing. He’s confused, frustrated, and finally waking up after reading The Dead Bedroom Fix . This is a classic case of mismatched libidos, avoidant behavior, and religious guilt. If you’re in a sexless relationship and wondering, "Is this normal?" —watch this. ✉️ Got a story to share? Submit it at https://deardso.com 🧠...
Mr. K wrote in with a story that’s, sadly, all too familiar. He blames himself for a relationship that was dysfunctional from day one. She showed no attraction. She weaponized sex. She even stopped showering to repel him — and kept a log of when he initiated. He thinks he’s the problem. But here’s the truth: Some relationships are doomed from the beginning. And some men — especially anxious or neurodivergent men — miss every red flag because they’re too busy blaming themselves. In this Dear DSO ...
Have you ever looked back at a relationship and thought, “What the hell was that?” You were loyal. Honest. Steady. She was chaos. This happens all the time to autistic men—diagnosed or not. They end up in emotionally volatile relationships with women who may have traits of borderline personality disorder. These women are intense, manipulative, unpredictable… and the autistic man, with his calming and consistent energy, is the perfect target. In this video, I explain why this dynamic happens, wha...
In this Dear DSO submission, Richie asks a brutally honest question: What do you do when your wife is on SSRIs, has no sex drive, and has basically shut down in the bedroom? He’s not alone. A lot of men are quietly struggling with this. Kids, careers, medication, depression—it all adds up. And many men are left wondering if they’re crazy for wanting more. You’re not. In this video, I break down what SSRIs actually do to your sex life, how to approach the conversation with your wife, and when it’...
In this episode of Dear DSO, a man named Mark writes in about the pain of being stuck in a long-term, sexless marriage. He’s done the work—therapy, self-improvement, romantic gestures—but his wife still shows zero interest. Now he’s wondering: Should he blow up the family just to feel loved again? This one hits hard, and it’s a story I hear all the time. If you’ve ever felt like a ghost in your own home… like you’re just the guy who pays the bills and takes out the trash… this video is for you. ...
I hear from a lot of men who fall hard for a woman… and then she starts pulling away. Hot one minute, cold the next. Is it an avoidant attachment style—or is she just not that into you? In today’s Dear DSO episode, we break down Paul’s situation. He’s stuck in the push-pull dynamic with a woman who’s triggering every anxious bone in his body. I explain why this dynamic is so damn addictive… and what it says about him that he’s still holding on. If you’ve ever felt stuck trying to “figure her out...
In this Dear DSO episode, we tackle Holden’s powerful story: ✅ A 22-year marriage, wrecked by infidelity ✅ A toxic ex dragging their adult kids down ✅ A father who rebuilt his life, career, and confidence — but still worries about his boys I break down what happens long-term when kids get stuck in a toxic home and what (if anything) you, as the healthier parent, can realistically do to help. If you’re facing similar struggles, you’re not alone — join me and other men like you in the HFM Brotherh...
In this episode of Dear DSO, I tackle Dave’s story — he’s been married 13 years, but for the last eight, the bedroom has been dead. Less than 10 times a year. He’s doing the chores, paying the bills, helping with everything, hoping it will reignite intimacy… but it hasn’t worked. We talk about perimenopause, the harsh biological and emotional shifts that happen in long-term marriages, and the hard truth: sometimes, no amount of chore-play will bring back the spark. 👉 Submit your story at deards...
Is it wrong to want more sex in your marriage? What if your wife thinks you're a pervert for having a normal male sex drive? In this episode of Dear DSO , I respond to a submission from a man who feels like a prisoner to his own sexuality. He’s doing the work, improving his life, but still feels rejected, shamed, and shut out by his wife. Sound familiar? We’ll dig into the anxious/avoidant dynamic, religious repression, codependency, and the harsh truth that sometimes… they just don’t want you a...
In this Dear DSO episode, we’re diving into a common and surprisingly emotional question: "If I get a vasectomy, will my wife still want me?" This one came from Matt — a father of three, married for five years, and totally done having kids… but now he’s worried that the snip might lead to a dead bedroom. We break down: The primal fears behind vasectomy anxiety Whether a man’s fertility is linked to attraction The truth about women’s desire post-snip How stress and resentment play a bigger role t...
In this “Dear DSO” episode, I respond to a story from John—a newly separated man wondering if it’s time to ditch the 9-to-5 life, buy a van, and find himself on the open road. Is this a classic midlife crisis, or the adventure of a lifetime? Let’s talk about what it means to "lose yourself" in the family machine… and whether it’s ever too late to start over. 👊 Want to share your own story? Submit it at deardso.com and maybe I’ll feature it on a future episode. 👉 If you're a man looking for sup...
In this Dear DSO submission, a follower named John reached out to share his story. He was in a long-distance relationship, had clear boundaries about contact with the opposite sex, and discovered that his girlfriend followed and messaged a local pharmacy tech—without telling him. That was enough for John to walk away… but now he’s second-guessing everything. Join The HFM Brotherhood!
Michael reached out to me with a story I hear way too often. Thirty years of a sexless marriage, confusion, shame, guilt — and then, one day, his wife finally opens up with a truth that changed everything. In this raw, honest conversation, we explore what it means to sacrifice your needs, the silent damage it does, and how deeply hidden trauma can shape a marriage for decades. This one’s for the guys out there wondering: “Is it me?” “Am I broken?” “Should I just stay?” …or finally walk away. Joi...
In today’s Dear DSO, I respond to a heartbreaking story from a 39-year-old Army Special Ops veteran who's been through the wringer—divorce, remarriage, infidelity, therapy, and now… his wife wants to separate again, “date,” and possibly reevaluate in six months. If you've ever felt like you're living in a constant loop of chaos in your relationship, especially after betrayal, this one will hit home. We unpack anxious attachment, gaslighting, guilt, PTSD, and how military culture compounds all of...
In this episode of Dear DSO, I respond to a letter from Jerome—a man who’s feeling disillusioned and depressed about relationships and marriage. After a breakup and years of being told that “marriage is the dream,” he’s beginning to question everything. Does long-term monogamy even work anymore? Are women really wired for it? Is the “wife and kids” dream still alive for men today? I unpack all of this and more—including what I’ve learned from helping thousands of men, my interview with Women’s I...
In this live conversation, I sit down with Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy, to talk about the psychology of the modern man—especially the ones struggling in dead bedrooms, difficult marriages, and post-divorce confusion. We dig into why so many men unknowingly sabotage their relationships, how covert contracts fuel resentment, and what it takes to stop being the “nice guy” and start living a better life. If you’ve ever felt stuck in a marriage with no affection, no sex, and no ...
We all crave emotional safety and stability in our long-term relationships… But what if that very safety is what slowly smothers erotic desire? In this livestream, I dive into one of the most frustrating and misunderstood dynamics in long-term monogamy: the trade-off between comfort and sexuality. Why does it feel like the more secure your relationship becomes, the more the passion disappears? Join The HFM Brotherhood!...
Brendan’s been dating his girlfriend for three years — and the sex is already slowing to a crawl. He’s worried this is setting the tone for a future marriage, and he’s not wrong. In this clip from a LIVE DSO, we dig into one of the biggest red flags guys ignore: early sexual disinterest. If you’re seeing signs of a dead bedroom while you’re still dating… buckle up. Join The HFM Brotherhood!
Ramius has been married for 47 years. In his 70s, he’s gotten healthy, got his testosterone up, and wants to stay sexually and emotionally connected to his wife. The problem? She’s done. No interest, no desire, early bedtime, and emotionally checked out from intimacy. What do you do when one partner still wants connection… and the other is ready to ride off into the grandma sunset? Let’s talk aging, sex, emotional reality, and the hard truth most men won’t hear until it’s too late. 👉 If this st...
Keith has been married six years. No sex since baby #1. Volatile arguments. Threats of suicide. Police visits. And yet — he's afraid to leave. This is the classic trauma-bonded, broken-from-the-start marriage. In this episode, I talk about what it means to finally say “enough,” and how men can break free from toxic relationships. Join The HFM Brotherhood
Ross is in a marriage where intimacy is dead, but the jealousy is alive and well. Despite his massive physical transformation and emotional growth, his wife remains cold and uninterested — while also resenting any female attention he gets. Oh… and she had an affair last year. Let's unpack this contradiction and talk about what it really means when your wife doesn't want you, but doesn’t want anyone else to have you either. Join The HFM Brotherhood...
In this Dear DSO submission, a husband shares his frustration: after two kids, his wife seems to have completely disappeared into motherhood. Once bubbly and fun, now she’s anxious, overwhelmed, and only shows affection after wine or exotic vacations. He’s worked on himself, lost 60 lbs, rebuilt his confidence—but his wife won’t join him. No therapy. No gym. No time for herself. And definitely no connection with him as a man. Join The HFM Brotherhood!...
Ned is a Special Ops vet whose marriage has seen it all — deployment, infidelity, gaslighting, emotional chaos… and now his wife wants to “separate, date around, and reevaluate in 6 months.” What should he do? This episode dives deep into how trauma, emotional abuse, and codependency show up in military marriages — and what men need to reclaim clarity and strength. Join The HFM Brotherhood!
In this powerful Dear DSO entry, I read a message from a man whose wife left him after 20 years of marriage. He gave everything to his family—his time, energy, identity—and now he's completely lost. No friends. No hobbies. No direction. This story is not uncommon, and it shines a light on what happens when men sacrifice themselves entirely for the sake of family and end up with nothing when it all falls apart. In this video, I break down his story and share what men in similar situations can do ...
A husband writes in with a heartbreaking and outrageous story: after 16 years of marriage and raising six boys together, his wife gave him an ultimatum — “Open marriage or no marriage.” She claims to be polyamorous and bisexual… and already has a boyfriend she’s in love with. Now she expects her husband to accept it — even while the boyfriend sleeps with her in their own marital bed. In this episode of Dear DSO, Ralph (Dad Starting Over) breaks down the emotional chaos, what’s really happening b...
What happens when your wife cheats... not just with anyone, but with your married next-door neighbor you've known since childhood? Jake wrote in to share his heartbreaking story of betrayal and confusion after discovering a year-long affair between his wife and their neighbor. They've been together 13 years, have kids, and he’s trying to work through it—but the emotional fallout is brutal. In this episode, we break down: Why affairs feel so addictively powerful Why “forbidden and new” is a dange...
Victoria reached out to share her story — a candid, emotional, and often shocking look into a toxic relationship filled with insecurity, gaslighting, and infidelity. From being accused of cheating over a sex toy… To discovering her partner was visiting massage parlors and hiding condoms… To finding the strength to walk away for the sake of her child and herself. This is one woman’s raw account of breaking free, setting boundaries, and learning to trust herself again. If you’ve ever stayed too lo...
