Dad Starting Over

Do Men Still Need Marriage? - My Live Chat With Dr. Orion Taraban

In this candid livestream, Ralph is joined by psychologist and creator of @psychacks , Dr. Orion Taraban, for a powerful and thought-provoking conversation on modern masculinity, dating, marriage, and purpose. Topics include: Why fewer men are choosing marriage Whether commitment still makes sense in today’s dating landscape The reality behind sex, status, and the modern mating game Developing purpose without relying on external validation How to become a high-value man in today’s world 🔥 Wheth...

Why Some Wives Hate When Men Take TRT and Viagra (from a DSO Live Event)

What happens when a man starts taking control of his health—drops weight, hits the gym, starts TRT and Viagra—and his wife doesn’t like it? In this clip from a Dad Starting Over livestream, I share a common (and surprising) reaction many men hear from their wives when they try to turn their life around physically, emotionally, and sexually. The truth? Some women feel threatened by the changes… especially when those changes mean a man is more confident, more virile, and more sexually energized. T...

"Your Book Doesn’t Work" – A Reader Calls Me Out

A reader sent me an email with some harsh feedback—he says my book is BS because by the time a man picks it up, his marriage is already doomed. He’s frustrated, resentful, and exhausted from trying everything, and he doesn’t believe any change in him will ever fix his wife’s lack of desire. Is he right? Or is he missing something deeper? Join The HFM Brotherhood!

"I’m Addicted to Porn" – A Husband’s Confession & My Response

A man reached out with a tough confession: after years of a sexless marriage, he turned to porn—and now he feels trapped. He says he's addicted, his wife ignores the problem, and if she knew the full extent of it, she’d leave. He feels ashamed, lost, and desperate for an answer. "But is porn really the issue here? Or is it just a symptom of a much bigger problem?" Join The HFM Brotherhood!

"No... That Doesn't Count!" - A Woman Writes in About Her Husband's OCD Cleaning. Oh boy...

Jennifer writes into to share the story of her OCD husband's super cleaning habits, and how she doesn't feel like it "counts" as helping out like "normal" guys do... because her husband's cleaning is an artifact of his disorder. I, like most men, will determine that her opinion on the value of his help is determined by how much he is suffering in the process. No, Jennifer... this was not a good thing. Join The HFM Brotherhood!...

After 4 Years of Fatherhood, He Discovered the Unthinkable (from a DSO Live Stream)

This is a clip from one of my recent DSO Live Streams on Facebook and Youtube. What happens when a man gives everything to his marriage—only to discover it was built on lies? A follower emailed me with his devastating story: His wife had a long-term affair...and he discovered that their youngest child was not his. The betrayal, the heartbreak, and the life-altering truth—this is one of the most gut-wrenching stories I’ve ever received. In this video, we break down what happened and what to do wh...

"She Warned Me... And I Didn't Listen. Now I'm Paying The Price."

A follower shares his story that is, unfortunately, all too common. His woman gave him every indication that she wasn't really good long-term relationship material. In fact, she flat out TOLD him that she has issues with her sex drive when in relationships. Like a lot of codependent men, Liam took that as a challenge to prove his worth as a spouse. Now he is left wondering why his woman left him for a guy young enough to be his son. Join The HFM Brotherhood!...

Is The "Shallow" Stuff Important in a Long-Term Relationship? Yes... VERY.

This is a follow-up to a post I recently made about relationships floundering due to "silly" things like looks and money. Yes, those things matter! They don't go away just because you said, "I do". To think otherwise is foolish. Join the HFM Brotherhood!

“Caught in a Chaotic Relationship Cycle, Help!”

A follower reaches out to tell the story of his very chaotic and dysfunctional relationship. Like most, he had many opportunities to make a course correction, but he kept choosing the wrong turn each time. Cheating, divorce, dead bedroom, getting back together, more dead bedroom... It's not good! Join the HFM Brotherhood

“In Sickness and in Health” -- When Being the Caregiver to a Sick Wife Is the Final Straw

A man reached out with a gut-wrenching confession: His wife is sick, and he’s doing everything to take care of her… but their marriage was broken long before the illness. For over a decade, he’s been doing everything alone—working, cooking, cleaning, and raising kids—while she slowly disconnected from the relationship. Now he’s at his breaking point, and even his own children are telling him to leave. But how does a man walk away without guilt? How much should a man sacrifice before enough is en...

"My Wife Told Me I Was Too Small! What Do I Do With That Information?!"

A follower reaches out with a story that no man wants to hear: His wife told him that he wasn't big enough. To add insult to injury, she compared him to a much bigger ex-lover. Ouch. Why on earth would a wife say that to a husband?! Let's talk about it. Join the HFM Brotherhood!

Married to Chaos: 20+ Years With a Borderline Wife (A Brutal True Story)

Ant, a follower, reaches out with his story of complete chaos. This is the perfect example of a naive man who marries a probably borderline wife, and the many examples of making the wrong decision at very crucial points in their relationship together. It all started from day one, and went downhill from there. This one... in painful to listen to. Join the HFM Brotherhood!

"I Shouldn't Have to Do That... I'm Married!" -- The Thought Pattern That Will Get You Into Trouble

In this video, I am responding to commenters who tell them that they shouldn't HAVE to put in effort to maintain a relationship and attraction. You just stick around with your spouse because that's what you're SUPPOSE to do... not because you two genuinely want each other. Is that a good mindset for a married couple to be in? I don't think so. Join the HFM Brotherhood!

“Why Is She Acting This Way?!” : The All-Too-Common Behavior of the Soon-To-Be Ex-wife.

Our pal "Wordsmith" is back with a new "Dear DSO" submission (https://deardso.com). He's perplexed by his soon-to-be ex-wife's erratic behavior. Why is she doing these things? Why is she suddenly liking and not liking certain things? Why is she hot and then cold? Very common questions! We also go into Wordsmith's difficulties with handling the stress of the split and his loneliness. Hang in there, Wordsmith! We're here for you. Join The HFM Brotherhood!...

Dear DSO: "My Wife Shut Down After Menopause!"

A "Dear DSO" follower reaches out to share his frustration. He's at a loss. His married sex life has stopped completely for the past two years. The reason? Menopause. The wife says that menopause is a "medical condition" that he needs to respect, and she has unilaterally decided that their married sex life is over. What is he to do? Join The HFM Brotherhood!

Dating Advice for the Divorced Guy - Let's Talk About Red Flags

A follower from a live stream asks about advice when it comes to dating. He has just started dating two years after his divorce. He's seeing green flags for sure, but what about red flags? How do you know what to look out for? Join the HFM Brotherhood!

Chore Play... Does It Work?

This is a clip from one of our private live zoom meetings we host for members of our HFM Brotherhood. We have anywhere from 6-8 live meetings every week, and they are all recorded for our members to listen back to. In this clip, we are talking about the age-old topic of "chore play": Men doing things in order to get sex from the wife. Many of us have been there and done that. It doesn't work... not as far as sparking sexual energy in a relationship is concerned. You still do chores around the ho...

Don't Lie to Get Women (from a DSO Live Stream)

From a DSO Live Stream, Ralph reacts to a follower saying that he has to lie to women about his kid situation in order to get dates. Guys, we have to stop lying to just get women. It's not doing anybody any good. It shows your level of desperation and scarcity when it comes to relationships, and it flat out doesn't work in the long run. Join the HFM Brotherhood!

How One Horrible Decision Can Ruin Your Life - A Follower's Story

Ralph gets a "Dear DSO" submission for a guy named Joe... and it's a doozy! Listen to Joe's story and how one big, important life decision (taking his mentally ill ex-girlfriend back) derailed his entire life. This one is not for the faint of heart! Join the HFM Brotherhood!

A Chat With a Long-Time Follower About His Stressful Marriage and Imminent Divorce

For those who watch a lot of DSO videos and listen to the podcast, you have probably heard me mention the name "Wordsmith" more than a few times. Wordsmith is a follower who has written in to Dear DSO quite a bit, as well as commenting on live streams. After years, Wordsmith has finally taken time to sit and chat about his situation and where things have led him (hint: Divorce). This is a good one! Join the HFM Brotherhood! The Dead Bedroom Fix Video Course...

Top Questions for 2024!

Here are the most-asked questions I received in 2024. Thanks to all of you reached out to me, purchased a book, signed up for coaching, or signed up for our men's group (The HFM Brotherhood). Love all you guys, and I wish you the best for 2025! Join the HFM Brotherhood!

Dear DSO: "How Can I Win Her Back?"

Ralph addresses a common dilemma faced by many men undergoing relationship challenges; the question of whether and how to "get your wife back" after a separation. Using a listener's question as a springboard, Ralph dives into the complexities of attempting to reconcile when a significant other leaves. Throughout the discussion, he examines various relationship advice trends and the psychological dynamics that often underlie such situations. Join The HFM Brotherhood...

Dear DSO: "I can't wait that long! I need to make a baby now!"

Ralph delves into a thought-provoking discussion prompted by a listener named Paula, who challenges his advice that men should wait three years before marrying a woman. Ralph explores the complexities of relationship timelines, contrasting perspectives, and biological constraints, offering a nuanced view on navigating modern relationships. This episode provides listeners with a comprehensive look at both societal expectations and the natural aspects influencing relationship decisions. Ralph argu...

The Two Type of Cheating Men

Ralph delves into the intricate topic of infidelity among men, drawing from his extensive experience working with men and data from anonymous surveys. This discussion explores the nuances and complexities behind why some men cheat, categorizing them into two distinct types: the "former player" and the "anxious needy." Ralph provides a pragmatic understanding of the male need for sexual variety, the emotional struggle of maintaining monogamous commitments, and the emotional compartmentalization t...

"I Changed... Now It's Your Turn to Completely Change Your Personality!"

"I've Had No Luck Dating After Divorce!"

We Need to Stop Shaming Our Fellow Men - Stop Calling Them "Simps" and "Incels"

Our Stressed-Out, High-Anxiety Wives

Ralph examines anxiety in relationships, focusing on the interaction between anxious men and their equally anxious partners. Ralph draws on his decade of experience to highlight patterns seen in conversations with men. He explores how generalized anxiety appears in marriage and parenting and affects personal relationships. Join the HFM Brotherhood!

Divorced? Want Just ONE Woman For The Rest of Your Life? Probably Not Happening.

Ralph explores the often harsh reality faced by newly divorced individuals re-entering the dating world. He challenges the romanticized notion of "the one" by presenting the concept of serial monogamy, where multiple long-term relationships replace the quest for a singular lifelong partner. This video provides a thought-provoking examination of the shifting nature of relationships in a post-divorce world, emphasizing the discomfort many feel when confronted with this reality. Join the HFM Brothe...

Dear DSO: "My Wife Became a Fitness Fanatic and Then Cheated!"

Ralph addresses a "Dear DSO" letter from a man named Steve, who shares the breakdown of his 15-year marriage due to his wife’s significant lifestyle and fitness changes. The story unfolds themes such as infidelity, personal change, and the impact of overlooking warning signs in relationships. Ralph provides advice and support to Steve and listeners facing similar issues. Steve’s story highlights how quickly life can change when personal growth leads to unforeseen and painful outcomes. Join the H...