How to Level Up Your Fathering This Father's Day (Encore Presentation)

It's a slightly different format than I typically do , but I think you're going to love it nonetheless . So let's jump in and happy Father's Day . So the question is how do busy dads get into great shape with limited time , space and equipment , all while enjoying the process and without sacrificing family time ?

If you want to know the secrets to dialing in your nutrition , being consistent and staying motivated to achieve your fitness goals once and for all , then this is the podcast for you . I'm Kevin Torres and this is the DadBodWod Podcast . What's up , legacy makers ?

Welcome to another episode of the number one podcast for busy dads who want to go from dad bod to fit dad and lose your first 20 plus pounds without fasting , without cutting carbs and without sacrificing family time . And on this show and inside of my program , we are teaching you this step-by-step process that dozens of guys have used to do just that .

And if you're curious about my one-to-one coaching program and whether it could actually help you hit your goals . I would love for you to just go to ForgingLeadFatherscom , click on that apply button and I'll personally be in touch to work out if and how my program could help you hit your goals .

Now you might hear my kids in the background , but that's just the way things are sometimes right . So for this episode I enlisted the help of some influential dads who you know . I just wanted to get them onto the show and ask them like hey , what is your best advice for new dads out there , or for dads out there in general ?

Or what is like something your father taught you that like you carry over still into your daily life , right into your family , Or like what is something you wish you knew before becoming a dad ?

And so I reached out to a couple of guys , a couple of dads that I know , and was excited that they were willing to participate and to share their insights with you all . And it's really going to be just like a really fun episode Again slightly different format than I typically do , And I'd really love your feedback on this .

So if you thought it was like a helpful , if you thought it was like a cool format or something and you want me to do a couple more like these sort of like roundup episodes where I could just get like some quick advice from multiple people . I'd love for you to let me know .

You can leave a review wherever you're listening to show , like on iTunes , leave a five star review and let me know , or you could just always send me an email at kevinatdadboudboudnet or find me on Instagram or whatever . Shoot me a DM . But yeah , it's going to be awesome and I can't wait for you to share .

In this particular episode , I'm sharing four different pieces of advice from four different dads , and let's jump right in with our first one And up . First I have Mike Bayako and he is such an awesome dude .

In fact , he was a guest on episode number 49 , entitled From Extremes to Sustainability , And he has a really awesome journey , a really amazing story , where he struggled with weight and then finally was able to dial things in and to stay consistent , because he was going on like extreme diets , extreme lifestyles , right , And finally was able to just dial things in ,

and I'm super stoked for him . You can follow him on Instagram at Michael , underscore Bayako . That's B , A , I , O , C , C , O . You could also just get the link in the show notes to follow his journey . Seriously , he's such an amazing and inspiring dude . A busy dad gets in shape , recently learned how to do double unders , just like I don't know .

Just super inspiring dude And I love following him . So you should follow him too . And let's jump into Mike's advice .

It doesn't feel like a chore to do And I think if , once you're able to figure that out , that's when you can really have long term success . There's a ton of different diets out there . There's a ton of different styles of training out there . All of them are , you know . There's nothing wrong with any of them , you know .

But at the end of the day , you need to find something that's going to work for you . It's going to work for your lifestyle centered around , you know , being a young dad , your kids , your work life , your home life , family life all of those things kind of have to be incorporated into building this fitness program for yourself .

I'm somebody who had to figure that out many , many times over a lot of trial and error .

You know where I would get on different diets , different styles of training that did have , you know , i would see some short term success but inevitably would fail after a couple of weeks or a month or so , and it wasn't until after having my second kid that I really had to dial things in and just find something that was going to work for me , which I

ultimately did . You know , and that's the beauty , i think , of fitness is that there's no one right way to do something . You know , what's going to work is the one that you can stick with , and when it comes to working out right , you might only have time to do a 30 minute workout .

So doing something like high intensity , high intensity , interval training is something that can be very successful . If you have the luxury and you have the freedom to go to the gym and get in there for two hours and you can do that regularly , then that's what you're going to want to do . You know cardio , for example .

Oftentimes you might hear somebody say I don't like doing cardio , i hate running , so you don't run right , you play basketball , you run around and chase your kids around . That That's your cardio , you know .

So , again , it brings it back to there's no one right way to do something , but you definitely want to find something that's going to work for you , and I think that's probably the most practical advice that I can give a new dad out there .

I would also , you know , say that , you know , being a new dad certainly in itself can be very overwhelming , totally different beast , you know to . You know , take it easy on yourself And , and you might have days where you don't feel like doing something . You know you might fall off your diet a little bit , and that's okay .

You know , the most important thing , and especially in terms of working out , right , you might have in mind you want to do a 30 minute workout , but guess why ? your , you know , kid went to the bathroom and you have to change his diaper and you only get a 20 minute workout in .

You know , at the end of the day , getting 20 minutes in verse 30 is better than getting zero minutes in . So , you know , chop that up as a win that you were able to get up and move as opposed to not doing anything at all .

You know , in terms of dieting , maybe you went to your kid's birthday party or or went out for dinner , you know , with your wife , you finally got an evening out And you didn't stick with your , your diet , and that's okay . You know , you had some cake , you had some foods that we enjoy eating , that we typically might shy away from .

Just the most important thing is that the next day get back on it .

But if you're able to create this lifestyle for yourself where there's not so many restrictions in place But you know you're obviously making some sacrifices at the end of the day because you want to look good and you want to feel good , and that definitely takes some commitment , if you're not so hard on yourself , you know you're going to be able to set yourself

up for success . So I certainly hope that any of this information is helpful . I do thank Kevin for you know , having me come on to share a little bit of my experience , and I do wish everybody out there a happy Father's Day and good health . So take care .

you don't like going for 30 minutes of running , fine , then chase your kids around , right , that's your cardio . I always say that the reason why you're not succeeding in like your , your fitness or your health programs because you're either following the wrong program , the wrong diet or the wrong coach . right , it's not like a sustainable program for you .

It doesn't mean that it doesn't work in general . Keto works , right . Just might not work for you , especially if you're like Mike and me , from New York and we love bagels and pizza , right , so it's just like Keto's out . Sorry , we're not trying Keto .

That was so awesome And look , it's all about , like you know , like I said , sustainability , like Mike said , and finding what works for you . and 20 minutes is not as great as 30 minutes , but it's certainly better than zero minutes , right ? So make sure that you're keeping that mindset .

It doesn't have to be an hour And , in fact , if you want more workout ideas , you could always follow Mike on Instagram , michael underscore by Ako . get the link in through the show notes here in the description where you're listening to this , and follow him , because he's always posting some good workout ideas . All right , this is so much fun .

I'm having a lot of fun And , in fact , if you really want to know the truth , i haven't listened to these clips before . I am listening to them now . So I'm listening to them in real time with you . So I literally have no idea what they're going to say . So , as I'm recording this and editing it , i'm listening to the clip and then responding afterwards .

So it's kind of like a fun for me too , because I just like I don't know what they're going to say . So up next I have John McCarthy , the postmodern patriot . He's the host of the postmodern patriot podcast . He's an overall badass . He's a , he's a Marine . He's just a kick ass dude . And actually my John . I actually had a dream . This is so funny .

I had a dream about you yesterday and that you were wearing a suit . like you walk around my neighborhood , i and it is like I noticed you a few days now walking around my neighborhood wearing a suit , so I don't know what that means .

Maybe you're going to be running for something at some point , or maybe it's because you posted that video of you talking at the firehouse the other day , but for some reason you're walking around my neighborhood in a suit . But I think you might run for something one day . Anyway , he was an a guest back on episode 56 . Are you avoiding manhood ?

and a guest on episode nine way back when I first started the podcast , episode nine , and he's just again . super awesome dude . I've been a guest on his show a couple of times , so let's jump into McCarthy's his , his advice . And again , he's a busy dad of two kids . just recently had a second little kid . It's amazing .

So let's jump into here what John has to say .

nation . This is John McCarthy with the post modern Patriot podcast , a longtime supporter of the dad bodwad forging lead fathers podcast , super stoked to be on here to chat with you all . So what advice do I have for a new father , being fairly new to the game ? I would say you know , please take this humbly .

I think that in all situations , being a father , the situation dictates right And that's a that's kind of a cop out , but different situations require different responses And the level of response is dependent upon the situation .

That being said , i think that there are a few pieces of advice that I can humbly offer And I hope that you all will take them with a grain of salt .

Ironically enough , all of these pieces of advice or piece of advice that I sort of came to the realization that they were good pieces of advice While interviewing Kevin for my podcast or being a guest on his podcast , and I think that that has to do with the fact that Kevin himself has a pretty good idea of what is required of being a good father who is on

a fitness journey . I think the first one comes from being a marine officer . It's something that I learned while I was on active duty that was drilled home in terms of leadership , which is , if it sucks , be with them , and this applies to your wife and to your children .

If there's a situation where things are bad , especially with a new wife , and she is up in the middle of the night and she's dealing with a crying baby who's very unhappy , even though there's there's likely little you can do , depending on the situation , Be up , be with them , be present , be going through a shared suffering .

It will increase the bond between you and your child and your , your spouse . So that's probably my first recommendation . And then , with your children , the same thing you know when they're doing the hard things in life that you want them to do be there with them as much as possible so that they can grow through that .

I would say that the next major piece of advice that I would give you all is something that Kevin dropped on me and I think is a really solid piece of advice And one that may be judged , but as far as I'm concerned , it's really a golden nugget , and it is that you need to get up in the morning and get the things that you want to get done finished

ahead of when your children will wake up And the way that Kevin puts it is really it's really very profound which is their door doesn't open until you've accomplished the things that you need to accomplish for the day , and the reason being is that you will start to have anger and resentment in your life towards them or your wife if you fail to do so .

And it's 5.24 am right now as I speak to you all .

I am doing this up at the crack of dawn and texting Kevin , who is up at the same time , and the reason for that is that we want to be good fathers , but we also want to accomplish our own goals in life , because I think , ultimately , kevin and I both realize that we will be more loving and loving husbands and compassionate fathers if we are achieving our

own things on our journey in life and not resenting others for preventing us from doing so . But you have a responsibility in that right , so you can't just wake up and live a normal life .

Now that you're a dad , you have more responsibility on your shoulders and you can't just get up and hope that everybody's going to give you time in the day to do the things that you want to do , because I promise you that that is not the case , and you need to get up ahead of everybody and do these things so that you can be more loving , be more

compassionate and lack resentment towards those people in your life who are the most important to you . So that's all I got . I want to wish everybody listening to this episode a happy Father's Day . I think it's an awesome thing and potentially the greatest responsibility that exists in our society , which is to be a father . So happy Father's Day .

Congratulations to those of you who celebrate . If you're lucky enough in life , you get to marry a woman or man that you will be with for the rest of your life and you get to have a child with them and be a father . That's an awesome thing .

Would you like to live out your life dream ? No , you have to carve out time to do that . You have to make time to do that . You have to . You know , unfortunately , it's going to hurt a little bit . Right To wake up a little earlier or to stay up a little later , right , but it's not when , not during the time that your family needs you , right .

Like , yes , you might have work hours and that's like . You know , everyone understands I got to work from 9 to 5 , right . But if you really want to build something meaningful for yourself , whether that's your health and fitness or business or something , you're going to have to find some time for that . And really , like John said , the resentment right .

You start to brood , resentment , when it's like my kids are always in the freaking way , my wife never lets me go out this , and that It's like then you got to get creative , man , and if that means waking up a couple of minutes earlier , that means waking up a couple of minutes earlier , right ?

Because , like I said and like John said , you can't pour from an empty cup . So , like , by the time I go and you go open the bedroom door to receive your kids , you could receive them and welcome them and be like what's up , i am ready for you . Let's do this right , because I have my workout in .

I've already sent out my emails , i've already updated my website , whatever it is , and you could be a better dad for it .

And that doesn't mean that , like , throughout the day , you're not maybe thinking about work and other things , right , but you've at least got those big things done that you wouldn't have gotten done with the little ones running around or with your wife asking you to do this and do that right . So , john , thank you so much .

And , guys , doesn't he sound like he should be running for something ? I think he should . Let's plant that seed . Let's get John to run for Congress or something . John , thank you so much for coming on to the show . You rock my man . Go ahead and follow him on postmodernpatriot on Instagram and go listen to his podcast at postmodernpatriotcom .

Check out his blog and listen to the podcast . Super awesome dude . You heard him . You heard him . You know he sounds awesome . You know you want to hear more of him . All right , let's go All right

up . Next I have Michael Ashford of the Fit Dad Fitness Podcast . He's a host of the Fit Dad Fitness Podcast . Follow him on Instagram . He's seriously an overall awesome dude , super nice guy . And again , i haven't heard this . I haven't heard his clip yet .

So I'm really excited to hear what he says , because as I'm listening to this , i'm like literally grinning from ear to ear because these are freaking awesome . Mike was actually a guest on my show on episode two , my second freaking episode . He was my first interview actually How asking for feedback will make you a better father and husband .

And also recently , episode 59 , where we talk about your summer body , starts now . So we have a lot of tips in there about how to get your summer body with Michael Ashford , episode 59 and episode two . If you want to hear more about Mike's journey Again , super awesome dude . Go check out his podcast and let's see what Mike has to share .

And , like I said , it was a game that we had lost . And I said I don't know , it was fine . I was pretty nonchalant about the game , how it went , and I remember my dad . He turned to me as best he could because he was driving . He looked at me and he said that's unacceptable .

You're on a team and you guys are keeping score And if you are going to be a participant , if you're going to play this game , if you're going to be a part of this team where the object of the game is to win , then you need to be more invested in it .

You need to try , you need to care about the outcome , because you have other there are other boys on this team who are counting on you to do your job and care , because they probably care as well . So when you lose , you need to take account and take stock of why you lost what you could have done better .

You need to care about the outcome and try And I'm saying it in how I took it . He didn't use specifically those words , but the whole point was if you dedicate yourself to something , if you say yes , i'm going to do this , then you need to be committed to that thing , because there are others who are reliant on you holding up your end of the bargain .

When you agree and commit , you need to see it through And for me and my answer that I had been kind of nonchalant about it , that was my dad saw that as well you weren't really holding up your end of the bargain And that absolutely has influenced how I go about the rest of my life .

If I'm committed to something , if I say yes to something , i go all in with it and I make sure that I complete it . There are other people relying on me , whether it be my family , my children , my wife , whether it be coworkers , whether it be my friends , whether it be extended family .

If I say yes to something , let your yes be your yes and your no be your no . That's really what I took away from my father's advice that day .

are you following through And I love that in a world where we're saying it doesn't matter whether you win or you lose , right , it's okay , everybody's a winner , everybody

gets a trophy . In a world where that culture exists , mike is dropping the bombs , of saying , like dude , he lost a game and his dad was like are you happy with those results ? What are you doing here ?

right , and again , i'm sure not to make him feel bad , not to make him be uber competitive , but just to face reality , right , like , look , life isn't a zero sum game , right , but it's a competitive , full contact sport . So what are we doing here ?

Pins are good off the pot , right , and I love that advice and how he's applied it to all areas of his life .

If you're going to commit , if other people are relying on you to show up , to be your best self , and you've said you're in , then be all in , okay , don't just kind of half-ass your efforts , half-ass your job , half-ass being a dad , half-ass being a good husband , half-ass your commitments .

If you say yes , you're in it And if you say no , it's okay to say no . Right , it's okay to be the gatekeeper of your time , of your commitments , and to be like sorry , i don't have the time for that and maybe next time . All right , mike , thank you so much for dropping those bombs .

You can go ahead and follow Mike at fitdadfitness on Instagram , fitdadfitnesscom , and listen to his podcast Fit Dad Fitness on iTunes and Spotify and everywhere you listen to podcasts . Let's go All right .

And last but not least , i have John Roman of the Front Row Dad podcast , the Front Row Dads podcast , and he's the founder of this amazing group of dads called the Front Row Dads . He's a freaking beast of a human being .

Right , you could listen to our most recent episode , episode 58 , how to Create a Front Row Experience How to Create Front Row Experiences for Your Family with John Roman .

But seriously , go listen to his podcast , man , because if you are a dad , you need his podcast , because he has amazing guests and they talk about everything from like what does it mean to show up as a dad ? What does it mean to conflict resolutions ? How do you negotiate with your family ? How do you have sex talks With your wife ? you know , openly .

Just discuss this topic in not a shameful way , but in a way that's productive for both people . It's seriously such an amazing podcast and the group he has , the Front Row Dads , which I'm a part of they're really over 200 guys super intimate .

They have amazing workshops and he just puts such an amazing effort into everything that he does and seriously he is the man . He's somebody to watch . Put him on your radar , because John Roman is gonna be if he's not already , he's gonna be running some shit . He's a pretty freaking badass .

So let's jump in to hear what John has to say about , just to see what he has to say , because he's a freaking man .

So when we were kids , we would vacation to a lake in Northwest Wisconsin called Shell Lake , a lake that my dad's grandfather established and wanted to build as a place for all of his grandkids to come together , and there's really magical spot for my dad and he wanted to have his kids experience that And so we did .

It was awesome And we would go and we would fish and we would hang out and it was a lake life , toasting marshmallows and family dinners . There was a lot of things at the lake that were there for years and years , things that my dad was part of his childhood .

You know like they would catch these fish and they would trace the outline of the fish on these brown paper bags and they would hang them . In this one building There was like all these little houses at you know like you call it a camp . There is a main house and there is an old ice house that was turned into a boys cabin and they had girls cabin .

It was really cool place , rich with tradition , woodworking shop and all the stuff . Every year when we would go , my dad would always pick a project to leave shelling better than we found it .

You know , i remember one year there was this swing that you would sit on , two people on either side , and it was a standalone swing and it was made of wood But it had been , you know , probably 10 years , 20 years , i don't know . Since it's been put outside and it was weathered and the paint was all Wearing away . Some of the boards need to be replaced .

They were rotting . So my dad just spent , you know , sometime on our vacation fixing up this swing I'm buying some replacement boards , you know standing things down , repainting it . And that really stuck with me because I watched my dad , who didn't need to do that .

He probably could have hired somebody or he probably could have just ignored it , but instead he said he really took ownership in this place . Even though he wasn't an official owner of the house , he took ownership of the place and I can see that he really cared for everything . My dad was the type of guy who Was .

It wasn't about efficiency as much as it was about taking care of what you had . So , while some might have critiqued it how long it took him to wash the car , paint the fence or any of the things that he was doing . He had a very Careful I and really took care of things , always leaving things better than you found them , always caring for what was yours .

And you would say that it's not what you want to tell you care for what you . And there was countless examples of this in my life , of how he would care for something . One of them was when I owned this , you know , a pet snake , a garter snake , you know , and I was probably 10 years old and my snake got really sick And I remember going to the .

He took it to the vet , took the snake to the vet and the vet and I'm making up these numbers as a 46 year old man now looking back , you know , 15 or 35 years ago in my life but I remember Getting the idea of what was happening and that was that you could buy a new snake for $10 , but this was like a $75 .

You know that visit and he had to decide what he wanted to do And I'll never forget that he decided to help the snake . He paid the $75 to the vet and he helped the snake and that , you know , is is a is a lesson that has stuck with me . But all these things , all these moments in life And there's countless , you know , opportunities .

And now is a 46 year old dad of two . I I think to myself how lucky I am to have had a dad that cared so much and I kind of picked on him for all those things . I remember , you know , having different opinions on how life should go , but it was now looking back at a real gift , the values that he would live out And how they show up for me .

And to this day I talked to the kids all the time about leave things better than you found .

All the time work , actually , as I record this , on that friends lake house , he let us stay here for a couple of days while we're out of our house and into our new one , and I keep telling the kids like , hey , our goal is not to leave this house , house as we found it , but better than we found it .

So that is the lesson leave things better than you found , care for what you have , attention to detail . And I appreciate Rick Roman for all those lessons .

and You know , it doesn't necessarily have to mean that like you are literally repairing something , like like John's father did right . It could be . Like you know , if you start a new job and You know that position form prior to you wasn't performing at a certain level , you can perform . You know , like level up that department .

You can make that department better . You can make those in those employees , those under you , better and by the time you leave now that place is thriving Right .

It could be , you know , for if you're a stepdad stepping into somebody's , you know life and they didn't have like a great father experience prior to you , but then they have you and you're going to leave it better than you found it right .

It could be a multitude of ways , but I love that message of leave things better than you found it and In fact , when I was in the army , that's something they used to tell us all the time .

Right , we would , whenever we would go to , like a new place , whether it was like a camping you're not camping , you know like field work or whatever We would have to like police things up . We'd have to clean everything . We would have to like leave it better than we found it . Even if it was somebody else's mess , we'd have to like clean it up . Right .

So that message definitely resonates . John , thank you so much for coming on and sharing that . And just like that awesome story And I love that you can hear John's kids screaming in the background , because that's freaking dad life .

Whenever I try to record podcasts or get on you know client calls or anything like that , like my kids I was like popping their heads into the zoom camera and running around screaming like crazy . So , totally awesome guys . This is what it's all about . This is what father's day is all about . This is what we're celebrating this week .

You are amazing and , like you have so much potential , like to impact your families for generations to come . You hear John telling stories from when he was ten years old a snake right , like . Like that story stuck with him as a ten-year-old . He's in his 40s . Now , what experiences are you creating right now with your kids ?

What memories are you creating right now with your kids that are gonna stick with them into their freaking 40s , into their 50s , into their 60s ? come on , how crazy is that that you have that much influence and impact on , like , somebody's life .

In fact , every day , i think I'm like I'm like , oops , i just scarred my kids , right , like you know , like , if it's like yelling at them or redirecting them , or like saying something about You know , saying something off the cuff about somebody else that maybe isn't kind , right , it's like , oh , you know , don't worry about that .

It's like , oops , that I just like plant that into their brains forever . That that's how they should talk about people or that's how they should Think about people .

Like I really need to like censor myself around my kids , or I shouldn't react that way to my kids , right , because Not only they got to remember the the good things , but they'll also remember some you know , some of that other

stuff . So , but , like , let's focus on the positives here . Like , what are the amazing memories you're creating , the amazing traditions , the amazing lessons that you're passing on to your children ? is it your health and fitness ? is it your work ethic ? is it your Spiritual beliefs ? is it how you treat your wife ? Is it how you talk to your friends ?

Is it how you value Relationships , how you value friendships or how you value Leaving your space ?

better than the way you found it right , like paying attention to detail , because you are a dad and You are going to influence their life for years and years to come and it's going to impact how they show up for themselves , for their work , for their children , and then it's how their children we're going to show up for their children , and this is why we

always talk about creating a legacy , right ? So what is a legacy that you're going to create ? to create a legacy of health and fitness , not only for yourself , but for generations to come . Okay , you could literally change the trajectory of your children and your family for generations to come by the decisions you make today .

So I hope you have an amazing Father's Day . I hope you get spoiled . I hope you got for brunch . I hope you get a cake baked for you . I hope you get gifts that were freaking awesome a tie , a mug , it doesn't matter what it is and I'd love for you to tag me in whatever gifts you do get on Instagram .

My wife got me a Yeti that says dad bought , bought on it , which is pretty freaking awesome . So , seriously , you rock , you're amazing . You're an awesome dad . I'd love for you to share this episode with another dad who would love to hear some advice like this and to just be a part of an Amazing community like ours .

And if you found this episode helpful , go ahead and make it a five-star review on iTunes and anywhere else you listen to podcasts that has a review option , because when you do , you help other guys like you find this amazing resource , find this amazing community that we're all trying to build together , and You just help grow this community . So you rock .

Let's keep forging elite fathers and let's create a legacy of health and fitness for ourselves and for generations to come . Let's go .