You are now listening to Cryptid Cocktail Party Welcome back, everyone, to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I'm your host, Dave, joined as always by my wonderful co -host, Sarge. How's it going, Sarge? Woo! I'm doing terrible. I've got Kelly Clarkson's Since You've Been Gone stuck in my head, and I hate it. That's a great song. What do you mean? I know, I hate it so much.
Well, I'm sorry, that's the only rough thing you're going through right now. Yeah, that's the only thing. That's it, nothing. And today... Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very special guest. We have the voice behind our theme song. We are joined today by Dipper Satterfeld, the vocalist of Killed by a Yeti. What's going on, man? Dipper! What's up? Thanks for having me. Look at my cool trick, guys. I brought this for you. Oh, I appreciate that. That's so good. I
really appreciate it. For those of you not watching, he pulled off his entire hand and reattached it. But, yeah, man, how's it going? It's been a long time coming, I feel like. I feel like we've talked about it. We attempted to do one before, but I was way too hammered to do it. What's going on? What's new? How's life? Life's great. Thanks for having me. I love you guys. I liked all the weird shit you talk about because I'm a weird dude. I'm glad I got to do your intro.
It's the new EP drop, which that has it on it. And I swear to God, if another fucking headphone pops out of my head, I'm going to lose it. Yeah, no, thanks for letting us write the song for you guys. Thanks for letting us be a part of your world. And thanks for being on our EP. We got to put that song on the EP. So it's history of the world. And I feel like you guys talk about history. Weird history. Weird cryptid, weird Bigfoot. Ding dong history, but you know. Thanks
for letting us be a part of your history. Yeah, look at that. Worlds coming together, worlds colliding, as Power Man 5000 would say. This is what it's like when worlds collide. Very good, very good. But yeah, no, thank you for doing it for us. People seem to enjoy it. We had a couple people who found this show and they're like, I was skeptical, but then the intro hit and I was like, I'm all in. That makes my day.
That makes my fucking day. I had a lot of fun doing that intro because I was like, i was watching you guys and i was like what do they talk about and i was like well i can't make the song too long but i know they definitely talk about drinking and then some weird cryptid things and then they want to party with the queer cryptid things but then sometimes they don't want to party with the weird cryptid things because they're weird and they probably hurt you yeah i mean there's
some that i i don't want to be a part of but there's others where i'm like you know what i bet this cryptid like let's hang out i don't want to me but i want to hang out with it I feel like the Flatwoods Monster would definitely be like one of those party dudes. He's like, I look stupid. I was like, I'm glowing, dude. Look at me. We're at a rave already. Flatwoods Monster gets white girl wasted. You just know. You just know. They're fun, but they're sloppy. Like,
you know. Flatwoods Monster is White Claw all day. Yeah, they're going to be lighting cigarettes backwards. Fucking. Yeah. They drink the rosé flavored White Claw. At the end of the night, they're shouting at the friends, you don't know me. You don't know what I've been through. Yeah. There's like, Jessica, Jessica, where are you? It's going to be a lot of that, I feel like. Misty 120s for sure. Oh, that's a good old lady cigarette, I feel like. Virginia Slims? Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Virginia Slims, definitely. Or American Spirits. That's a dude who's had a rough life. Yeah, it takes nine hours to smoke just one of those things. Jesus Christ. American spirits are definitely the cigarette of a guy who has been off heroin for about six months. Oh, easily. Yeah. All right, guys. Well, Dipper, I already know the answer to this, but we ask everyone who comes on, are you a cryptids aliens conspiracy
guy or what? Oh, hell yes. I'm more on the side of like, I know it's not real, but I want it to be real. Yes. That's where I float on this. That's us. I'm like, if Bigfoot was real, that'd be cool as fuck, and I would be all aboard. You give me a real video of Bigfoot smoking a joint in the middle of the woods, I'm sold. But now AI is making it real hard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. AI kind of ruins a lot of this. I've been watching those AI Bigfoot videos, and the first two were
kind of funny. But now I'm just like, look, man, you and I both know that's a fucking gorilla. Knock it off. Well, Dipper, I'm glad that your stance on the topic is pretty much the show's stance. I feel like we've had since the beginning is that, you know, we want them to be some of them, you know, maybe I do believe, but that's just more wishful thinking. But yeah, for the most part, I want them to be real, even though let's be honest, some of it's kind of iffy. And
today's story is no different. All right, you guys ready to dive into this? Let's do it. Let's fucking go. So we're going to go back in time a bit. We do that from time to time. So we're going to head back into the late 1950s. So this is pretty much during the height of the Cold War tensions and the UFO hysteria. Now, back then, there were a ton of UFO and alien visitation
stories. But there was one story that has always fascinated me, and I've tried to write this episode so many fucking times, and I could just never get it right. But I think today, I finally nailed it. Or at best, it's just a rambly, jumbled mess, and that's something that we will all have to figure out together as we take this journey. Now, the reason today's topic, at least for me, is rad as hell is because it's not like your average alien encounter. There was no lights
in the sky. No one was abducted or harmed. Livestock wasn't fucking mutilated to shit. What's different about this story is that it takes place in offices, briefing rooms, and it's entirely in secrecy inside the Pentagon. In a nutshell, the story goes that a literal, not -from -this -world alien lived and worked among top U .S. officials for three years inside the Pentagon. He offered peace. warned of a nuclear war, and carried technology far beyond anything we could have imagined at
the time. So today, gentlemen, we are going to be covering the extraterrestrial known as Valiant Thor. Are you guys familiar with Valiant Thor? Yes! I fucking love that band, by the way. Fucking love Valiant Thor. Yeah? Good band. Yes. Good band. I briefly know the story, so... It's been a long time since I've talked about Valiant Thor. Yeah, I'm not completely up to date. But I do remember Valiant Thor. Okay, so the reason why this episode was hard to write is because the
story is a jumbled mess. So I had to do my best to try and put it in somewhat chronological order without leaving out too many details because that's easy to do and also very hard to do at the same time. But before we dive into the lore of Valiant Thor, unintentional bars just then, it's important to understand where all this came from. The entire legend of Valiant Thor begins and ends with just one man. His name was Dr.
Frank E. Stranges. So Dr. Frank was a Pentecostal minister, a UFO lecturer, and the founder of something called the National Investigations Committee on Unidentified Flying Objects. Rolls off the tongue. Yeah, definitely. What a mouthful, dude. So in 1967... Dr. Frank self -published a book titled Stranger at the Pentagon, and pretty much everything the world knows about Valiant
Thor comes from the pages of that book. In it, Dr. Frank claimed that he met Thor personally, face -to -face, and according to him, the introduction was set up by a government employee named Nancy Warren, who brought him into a secure area of the Pentagon not long after Thor had made contact with more senior officials, which we'll get into later. Now from there, Dr. Frank claimed the
two pretty much became... best friends. He described Thor as highly intelligent, soft -spoken, deeply concerned about the future of Earth, and committed to helping humanity find a better path forward. And for the rest of his life, Dr. Frank spoke very publicly about these conversations. He did so during sermons, lectures, interviews. Pretty much he just talked about it to anyone who would listen to him. But he never wavered from his account. Even when he was masturbating. Giving
himself a stranger at the Pentagon. You know what I mean? No, dude, they broed down together. They were giving each other handjobs. Some Dutch rudder action? That's what it was. Nice. So, according to the good doctor, Valiant Thor's ship, named Victor I, pretty unimaginative for a ship, I feel like. Yeah, disappointing name. Yeah, touched down in a field just outside of Alexandria, Virginia on March 16th, 1957. The local authorities were first to respond to the
site. Now they were expecting to see like a downed craft, like alien bodies just fucking strewn about. But instead they found just a dude standing very calmly besides a landed craft. That's going to be the name of my alien movie. Just a dude. I feel like you stand there like this too. Like posing, like he's hard styling on the ground. With a name like Valiant Thor, he definitely puts his hand to his chin when he talks to you.
Oh, for sure. Now, he told the authorities he meant no harm and immediately requested an audience with the president, and his request was granted. They were just like, sure thing, bud. Fucking follow us. That guy that we're constantly trying to stop from getting assassinated, please come and meet him by yourself. Do you have any, like, weird alien germs on your body, too? Like, you know, should we call us for concern? Like, we
don't. know anything about you you're from space there's a radiation dog like what's up this kind of sounds like how our current administration handles everything no the first thing they would do is shoot it yeah and then move move on from there and then chop him up dry out his skin turn it into dust and then dj t jr is just gonna snort it jesus christ Just doing lines of aliens in the back. Hey man, didn't people used to do that with like Egyptian mummies back in the day? Yes,
yeah. Really? Yeah, they would take mummies from Egypt and they would grind them up and like drink it in teas and shit like that. I don't remember what they said. What the fuck is wrong with people? It's comforting to know that humanity has always been full of fucking morons. Yes, it is. So Thor, he was taken to Washington and brought directly to the Pentagon. There he met with high -ranking officials, Dr. Frank for some reason, and then was eventually introduced to both President Eisenhower
and Vice President Nixon. And they loved the guy. I mean, who wouldn't? Thor was described as completely human in appearance. He was tall, tan, athletic build, had neatly styled brown hair. Dr. Frank described him as, quote -unquote, inhumanly handsome. Sounds like Dr. Frank had a little bit of a crush. Yeah, Thor spoke perfect English, he wore a fitted suit, and it was said that he carried himself more like a diplomat
than an alien emissary. But despite being normal on a surface level, while simultaneously being the hottest dude on Earth at the time, there were some details that set him apart. Thor was said to have an IQ of over 1 ,200. He had a lifespan of 500 years. But in later accounts, more wild traits were added. Shit like he had like six fingers on each hand. He had an oversized heart. Or my favorite is that he just had a single giant lung and no belly button, which I think is way
fun. That's pretty fun. I would also love that if he only had like one giant nipple. It looks like a personal pizza right in the middle. I mean, who knows? That could be added later on. This story goes into some crazy directions. Yeah, but anyways, he told officials that he came from Venus. Now you're probably thinking, Venus? You mean the wildly inhospitable scorched hell planet with a surface temperature hotter than Mercury due to the immense crushing air pressure that's
92 times out of Earth? That Venus? Actually, I was just thinking of the rhyme. The boys are from Mars and women are from Venus. I went completely different. I was thinking about the razor. You're my Venus. You're my fire. You're my desire. Good Bananarama reference. Nice work. It's his finest, actually. But it's neither of those guys, okay? It's the planet. But luckily, Thor didn't have to worry about any of the stuff I mentioned above because he was part of a subterranean civilization
deep beneath the planet's surface. So, you know, awesome. Now... According to Dr. Frank, Thor's visit had a clear purpose. It was to warn humanity of the path it was on and to offer technological, social, and spiritual alternatives, and a strong emphasis on abandoning war and putting a stop to the use and manufacturing of nuclear weapons. Sounds like a bunch of woke liberal nonsense if you ask me, but hey. It's not my, you know, it's not mine. This is what he was talking about.
Well, you can tell they clearly heeded his advice immediately because we haven't had a war since. Never. There's never been bombs dropped. There hasn't been mass casualties. Everywhere there hasn't been, you know, famine because of the wars. Nothing like that. Nothing. And no country has ever lost a nuclear weapon. Nope. Just goes to show Valiant Thor really did his job. Well,
we'll get to it. Don't worry about that. Now, Thor claimed that he represented some kind of interplanetary council, sometimes described as the High Council. Other times, he was part of a larger galactic council. It's not really important because it's all the same. Their goal was to help guide younger civilizations away from self -destruction. And in the late 1950s, Earth was
pretty close. We were right on the cusp of just... nuclear holocaust so yeah we weren't doing great yeah we made we made a lot of mistakes we're totally doing great right now too no way better now way better yeah but luckily thor he came with solutions he brought along some pretty sick toys um a couple of these devices like the composite energy device they were capable of generating limitless clean energy they required no fuel and produced no waste which is pretty cool but
not as sick as a device that allowed for instant material replication This device could create clothes, food, supplies, pretty much anything you wanted without having to use up Earth's natural resources. It's kind of like that thing from Star Trek where you can just press a button and food appears. Nice. Yeah, pretty cool. But there was a catch. None of this technology would be shared unless humanity agreed to a few conditions. Worldwide cooperation, peace, and spiritual unity.
As Dr. Frank put it, Thor wasn't just offering tools, he was offering a shift in human consciousness. And this weird spiritual aspect runs deep in the story of Valiant Thor, because according to Dr. Frank, Thor spoke often about God and praised the continuous presence of Christ's teaching on Earth. Yeah, it sounds like Dr. Frank had no agenda whatsoever. Well, for Frank, who came from a religious background, this was proof that Thor was the real deal, because fucking sure,
why not? So following his initial meeting with U .S. leadership, like I said, Valiant Thor was granted special access to the Pentagon, not just as a guest, but as a tenant. So from 1957 to 1960, Thor lived in a secure area of the Pentagon as kind of like an alien liaison. He had his own fully furnished apartment and office, held regular meetings with high ranking officials, including the military, government scientists
and members of Eisenhower's inner circle. Some accounts claim that he made appearances at the UN and spoke with international diplomats about peace and cooperation. But while he was a hit with some, not everyone welcomed his presence. So before we move on to the hardships this man had to face, how are we feeling so far about Valiant Thor? I think he's great. He's like an alien James Bond. Just a man about town. I picture him as Fabio in one of those romance novels.
That's how I picture him inside my head. He's just sitting there. The doctor's just staring at him, his hair's blown in the wind. He's like, you know, he's like, I'm a good Christian boy, but this man just, ooh, he gives me the vapors. Like, this is what I'm taking from this. I think this is a love story. Dr. Frank has immediately ruined all credibility with me because his only criteria for whether Valiant Thor was actually a believable space alien was, well, he believed
in Jesus, so he's got my vote. I mean... that's all it should take for me I always pictured Valiant Thor as like a Don Draper from Mad Men like I think that's like that's how I picture him but not but not as savage like not a fucking monster at the same time but just as hogged out as oh yeah oh definitely Valiant Thor has got a I feel like the redacted parts of this story are just describing how big his ding dong were and they had to take that out like we gotta really gotta
take this part out yeah and of course valiant thor's doing the power moves like using it to like press the buttons on the elevator all right so his prehensile weenie jesus christ all right so yeah like like i said some people loved him some people didn't care for him uh like While Eisenhower was open to the ideas that Thor had presented, others in the government were less
cool with the idea. Military and intelligence officials pushed back against Thor's proposal, saying they were unrealistic, dangerous, and threatening to the existing power structure. Because while Thor was advocating for a global disarmament initiative, he wanted the U .S. to lead by example and be the first to dismantle its nuclear arsenal. And he also wanted them to form a new council to promote international peace, which... obviously the U .S. military
intelligence would be against. They're not. Yeah. Also, Nixon kept calling him a space N -word. Unbelievable. Jesus Christ. That's such a racist. I don't know if I should leave that in or not. Nixon, famous for saying the N -word. That's true. He's just quoting history. That's true. But despite all that, for a moment there, the idea was actually considered, but in the end, spoiler alert, it... Obviously didn't happen.
And after three years with little progress made and mounting opposition from within the U .S. government, Valiant Thor pretty much said, well, I'm going to head out. So on March 16th, 1960, exactly three years after his arrival, he returned to Victor I and just fucking dipped. He didn't tell anyone or say anything. It was just pretty much a classic Irish goodbye. He just left without a trace. And he took his glorious space needle
with him. But even though Valiant Thor may have left Earth in the 1960s, the story doesn't end there. In the decades that followed, his legend grew and gets... Real fucking weird. What began initially as a contained narrative, like an alien visitor from Venus on a diplomatic mission, somehow
expanded into something far wilder. By the 1970s and 80s, Thor's story got absorbed into New Age UFO mythology, which is basically a kind of belief system where aliens, they're not just like jetting around in spaceships and fucking with livestock, but they're actually guiding our consciousness through dreams, vibrations, and just, you know, good vibes, dude. Fucking... Just so chill. Yeah, yeah. I love bullshit too, so I'm all about it. I got this crystal. I got this crystal. It's
pretty much that. Sardew said it would heal me. Yeah. The biggest shift from this came with the rise of something called the Ashtar Command. It's a group of so -called benevolent extraterrestrials who, according to believers, are telepathically guiding humanity through some kind of spiritual awakening. And in this rebranding, Valiant Thor was no longer just a one -time envoy. He was now a high -ranking cosmic commander in a vast galactic alliance. And then from there, things
start getting really weird. Channelers began direct contact, like saying they had direct contact with Thor. A woman named Valanna said she was his daughter, like literally, and acted as his communication vessel. Others published messages they said were dictated by Thor himself. They warned of Earth's changings, called on people to raise their quote -unquote vibrational frequencies, and also promised divine evacuations if shit
ever hit the fan. Kind of like that cult we talked about that one time, the Seekers or whatever. It's basically that. Thor's identity became kind of fluid. He wasn't just the fuckable Venusian with an energy device anymore. He was like a cosmic figure, an ascended master, a spiritual guardian, a spokesperson for divine order in
the universe. But then it gets even wilder because in the recent years, self -published books, which you know are just fucking amazing, and channeled materials have introduced new characters into the mythos, most notably Commander Zarkon Thor, Valiant's dad. Oh, God. Who shares his wisdom via blog posts and fringe paperback novels. I think my favorite part is that he went to his dad, not his son. Yeah, no. Not like the next generation. They went back a generation. Yeah.
Other texts claim to have been written by Thor himself or they're like relayed transmissions from his crew. Titles like Words of My Venusian Father and These Archon Principles. Blend scripture, space opera, and self -help jargon into one sprawling giant cosmic mythology. How we feeling about... How we doing? I'm mad, Dave. I'm real mad. Why? I feel anger building. I'm with Sarge on this one. This is like a fucking... This is Gwyneth Paltrow just on a whole new level, dude. This
is my vagina candle, but on a big scale. This is the most Malibu bullshit I have ever heard in my entire life. Yeah, it's not great. The first half was fine. Yeah. You know, well, it's not going to get any better. No. I thought you were going to give me hope. No. No, it's important to note that none of this came from Dr. Frank.
Like all this New Age bullshit. These were all later additions that were built on top of his original story and are now being shaped by whatever spiritual or metaphysical trend happens to pick it up next. So now, Thor has gone from Cold War anti -nuke activist to a full -on cosmic archetype. He's pretty much a catch -all figure for whatever message some weird New Age guru or cult leader wants to deliver. Which is a bummer, because on the surface, the story of Valiant Thor, or
at least like Dr. Frank's version, is a... It's like the perfect Cold War era sci -fi parable. Like a humanoid alien warns the world not to destroy itself, offers some miracles, gets stonewalled by bureaucracy, and leaves in quiet disappointment. It would be a really cool story if it actually happened, you know? What? What if Valiant Thor was like, yo, get rid of your nukes, and then I'll show you all this cool shit, and he's like, gotcha, bitch, and then he destroys everybody.
You know what I'm saying? He's saying what you want to hear. He's like, I believe in God. Look how handsome I am. I'm a good -looking dude. He's trying to use kindness to get through people, but we're all assholes, so we're like, fuck you, dude. We don't trust you. I think that's what happened. To be fair, he does kind of give off the vibe of what the Antichrist is supposed to be. Like a handsome, charismatic world peace bringer. So maybe we were right to not fuck with
this dude. We were like, you know what? No thanks, but... Yeah, it all sounds great, but no. But I mean, let's be real. I, as well as you guys know, none of this happened. Yeah, of course
not. There's no way that anyone could... pretend to believe in jesus just to get into a position of power that has never happened in the united states never that's never once you know i i always hear that like people use religion for good you know to help yeah the community and their their fellow brothers i never heard it for war or profiteering or anything like that yeah no and you can see that throughout the history of the world and especially the united states every time someone
says I live my entire life by the Bible. And then they get into power. They only do good things. Yeah, great things. Yeah, they've never subjugated. They've never had tiny hands. They've never subjugated sexual orientation or gender expression. They've never done anything bad to black people. All right, we're starting to get real preachy here, guys. Let's move on. Let's get on with the aliens. Jesus Christ. I'm saying they never did it, Dave. I'm saying it never happened. All right, we're
moving on now. Well, the story of Valiant Thor is a fun story. When you start to pull up the threads, the whole thing kind of unravels pretty fast. There are no documents, no photos, no witnesses from inside the Pentagon, no meeting records, no logs, nothing. I feel like if a literal alien diplomat lived in the Pentagon for a full three years, there would have been some record or security slip up somewhere, but nothing. That's what they
want you to think. Yeah, nothing's even hinted at in declassified files, but it is the Pentagon, so maybe. It could be, like, they didn't have signal chat back then, so leaks from there. Now who's preaching, Dave? Now who's preaching? Oh, mine was 10 seconds. Yours was four minutes. Okay, I got an idea. I'm going to run for president. The only reason I want to be president is to
see the government secrets. I'll become president, and then I'll come on the show, and then I'll divulge every secret that ever happened, and we'll find out if Valiant 4 is real. That didn't work out great for Kennedy, so I don't know if you want to try that. I'm willing to put my life on the line to tell you if Valium 4 was real or not. I support this. I support it too. There's no evidence that this happened. Then there's
Dr. Frank Stranges himself. While he was a minister and a UFO lecturer, some of his claims were pretty sus, the deeper you dig. He said he held top secret clearance, which, I mean, why? He was a ufologist and a priest. That makes no sense. But he also said that he sat in on meetings with defense officials who... by the time Thor supposedly arrived, had already been dead for years. And some of the names he used in his book, like F
.F. Forstall, which is likely a misspelling of James Forstall, didn't line up with reality. I'm sorry, how do you misspell James by two Fs? Well, it's because these kinds of mistakes make it seem as though he wasn't writing from experience, but from memory. You know what I mean? Sorry, I can't remember all the details. We'll just call him FF because that's such a normal name that I always see. Yeah. I mean, back then everyone had initials for their names, dude. That's true.
F. Murray Abraham. Amazing actor. Others who have come forward to confirm parts of the story, but those don't hold. Much better. A famous amongst believers is Harley Andrew Bird. He claimed to be a Pentagon insider and the nephew of Admiral Richard Bird, who, for those of you who don't know, was the dude who claimed he flew into the hollow Earth through a hole near the North Pole. Fuck yeah. But his background is murky at best, and there is zero proof he ever held a government
position. And honestly, he's probably not even Admiral Bird's nephew, if we're going to get down to it. No, he's Larry Bird's, like, slow cousin. And then there's Venus. Even in the 1950s, astronomers knew Venus was not habitable. Its surface is a volcanic pressure cooker with a carbon dioxide atmosphere and clouds of sulfuric acid. It's about as close to hell as a planet can get. And Thor's explanation that his people lived underground to avoid the surface is, sure,
fine. It makes sense and not easy to disprove. I'll give him some leeway on that claim, even though it's complete bullshit. How the fuck did you get to the surface? How the fuck did they get to the surface to get under it? It's over time. Also, I want to know. So, okay. You lived on Venus. Advanced society under the ground.
Not only do you need to come up with a vehicle that can make it through the extremely toxic atmosphere of Venus, which you can't really see because you have to live underground, but then your ship is going to exit. Venus' very thick, dangerous atmosphere, and then survive in space. I'm sorry, that's challenging to me to believe. What is he, fucking Goku? Like, this is my question that I have here. The ship is powered by hydrochloric
acid rain. You guys cut out for a second there, so I have no idea what you ranted about, but I'm going to go with yeah, hell yeah, dude. Long story, it was brilliant. When you edit, you'll figure it out. Okay. But also, there's the story. I'm just going to move on. You just said okay as in like when my kid tries to convince me to let him drink a beer. I'm like, okay, still you
have to wait. But also there's the fact that the story of Valiant Thor is just a beat for beat ripoff of the film The Day the Earth Stood Still, which hit theaters in 1951, six years before Thor's arrival. In the movie, a human -looking alien named Klaatu arrives in D .C., warns of Earth's self -destruction, and urges world peace. He even stays under government supervision. So the similarities aren't subtle by any means. Klaatu Varada Nikto. Yes. So there's no credible
evidence that Valiant Thor ever existed. At best, this is a Cold War contact detail told by one man, expanded by others, and over time morphed into something closer like modern New Age mythology. But the story persists. It's been like 70 years since Thor was said to have shown up in Virginia, but his name still shows up in UFO documentaries, blogs, weird new age spiritual guides, and conspiracy
forums. Valiant Thor is more of a symbol now, more than anything, a symbol that sits somewhere between alien savior and cosmic therapist, showing up not to conquer, but to help. So it's kind of easy, I guess, to see why it stuck around. For some people, there's something comforting about the idea that at our lowest moment, someone was looking out for us. that when we were on the brink of a full nuclear holocaust, help was offered. The idea that the universe isn't indifferent,
but involved. Valiant Thor is a part of a long tradition of stories where the otherworldly shows up with a message that we already know, we just don't want to hear it. The message that peace is possible, but not without sacrifice. Technology can save us, but not if we stay the same. But most importantly, if we blow ourselves up, it won't be because no one warned us. And that's what makes this story last. Not because it's true, God no, but because it feels like it should
have been. And that is the story of Valiant Thor. How we feeling? I'm sad he's not real. Fuck Valiant Thor. I still love the band, but that... No, he's a good dude. I just hate everybody who added on to it and made it fucking worse. Yeah, could you just leave the story alone? Like, we don't need to throw crystals into anything, Becky. I like that. The beginning part wasn't bad, you know. Dr. Frank -N -Furter. I know that's not his name, but that's what I'm going to call him.
He just comes off as a fucking weird dude. He's just a weird dude to me. I'm such a positive person in real life, but I have negative aspects on everything. When you die, you just die. I kind of feel bad for Dr. Frank's though. Dr. Frank Stranges, excuse me, because he came up
with this cool story and whatever. He was just trying to... push his own weird fucking pentecostal agenda but then all these other assholes these unimaginative fucks were like i'm not smart enough to come up with something on my own so i'm gonna steal this crazy story and then make you buy crystals it's like chiropractor bullshit i think it was bad yeah but just like you said i felt like after after the second When the second part came through, I felt like there was this propaganda
to sell you something or buy into some sort of New Age religion that's bullshit because then eventually you'll drink the Kool -Aid and get on the ship with Xenu. Well, is that not what all New Ages... Yeah, all New Age religions are bullshit. It's either a money grab or a cult. There's no in -between. If you're telling me you can fix my vibrations, you're a fucking idiot. All right, so that's it. That's the end of the episode. We're having some technical difficulties,
so... Better to end it now. Before we sign off, Debra, do you have anything you want to plug? Anything you want to talk about before we go? Yeah, we just dropped a new EP called History of the World and the intro song's on it for you guys and then we talk about the time the CIA faked a vampire attack when Kentucky had a meat raid incident where it just rained meat in the 1800s when they put animals on trial. The Kentucky meat showers? You covered that? One of my favorite
fucking stories. we wrote a song about it and it's my favorite song off the fucking album it's called the kentucky meat incident i'm i'm very excited i have a t -shirt that says i survived the kentucky meat showers yes that's one of my fucking favorite stories and that is a song and then the last one is about the people who danced till they died so like in the 1819 france the dance yeah yep so we got we covered all those and then and july 5th we'll be in california
playing a benefit show for cancer so we're gonna raise money for fight cancer because fuck cancer Yeah, fuck cancer. Hell yeah, dude. Nice work. I was going to say, if you guys want me to come back, please have me back on this fucking show. I love you guys so much, and I like talking about weird shit with you dudes. I love you. Hopefully next time we'll have a better recording set up. Yeah, there won't be any lag. That's not glitchy and fucking... All right. Sarge, is there anything
you want to plug before we sign off? Just your butt, buddy. Okay. All right. All right. If you want to follow us on Instagram, you can follow us at Cryptic Cocktail, TikTok, Cryptic Cocktail Party. I guess real quick, Dipper, where can they find you guys on the internet? I'm on TikTok at Dipper Satterfield. Instagram, Dipper Sasquatchfield. And then follow us at Kill By A Yeti. We're on all streaming platforms and social media. So
I just use Instagram and TikTok. i make weird videos oh yeah man i guess with that out of the way dipper do you want to say goodbye and i love you to the audience i do uh bye everybody thank you for listening and i love you with all my heart all of it i love you so much i'm proud of everything you've done and i hope you have a great day thanks for listening