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Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode of Cryptid Cocktail Party, a show where we have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I'm your host Dave and today I'm joined by a man whose name has been mentioned several times on this show, but you will be hearing his voice for the first time today and that is my good friend Luke Ferry. What's going on bud? Oh, you know, just having some cryptid cocktails. Yeah, what is that, 603? 603 is my man.
Are you drinking 603 Wood's Devil? Oh no, this is the 603 Black Cherry Pomegranate Hard Seltzer. Oh, I'll give you yours. Because I have celiacs and it gives me the poops. You know what's wild is that I actually was talking to somebody at work the other day about PBR and how it's gluten free and you came up, you come up in my life more than anyone else from New Hampshire.
And that's something I think, isn't PBR made with rice and you used to drink it all the time because it didn't give you the shits? I was in denial. Is that what it was? Yeah, it was just denial. I just did not want to give up PBR. It absolutely is gluten and it makes me shit my pants. So you're telling me that South Park got it wrong? South Park did something about that? You don't remember when everyone went crazy about gluten and then they all switched to PBR because it was gluten free.
So that way their dicks didn't explode. I miss that one. What was funny is that I think that was the first thing. You know how South Park never did like, nothing was like serialized. One thing from one episode never carried over into the next episode. You know what I mean? It was all like, yeah, it's not the Simpsons. Yeah. The gluten free PBR was the one thing that I remember. It was like a season later, Randy's on the back porch drinking a beer. And she's like, are you drinking beers?
Yeah, it's PBR. It's gluten free. They brought like they just made sure to keep that one thing. It's good. Yeah. I stopped watching South Park years ago, but yeah. How you doing, bud? You look good. I'm so glad you're finally on the show. Like I said, you've been mentioned so many times by name and never acted. I think the last episode we did, I mentioned you by name and I actually asked you about it was the ghosts up at Lakes in the Clouds.
And you asked me to send you like a little blurb about what it's like and I have ADHD and totally forgot. Well, you know, just so I imagine a loud cabin. It's that. Yeah, it doesn't. It didn't look that great. No, it's it's they're not called the hotels in the sky. It's a hut. Oh, man. But how you doing, man? I'm toasty. First up, it's like 100 degrees here and my AC super loud. So I turned it off for the podcast. But other than that, I actually I super appreciate that.
You'd be surprised how many guests come on here and just have like a fan blowing a TV on kids screaming in the background like, oh, my God. If fuck that, you know, only thing I'll accept in a podcast is like their dog barking. Yeah, I imagine he's a pretty little boy, but I hear some kid. I'm just like fucking go slap it. This is the problem with today's youth. They don't respect the podcast medium. That's all it is.
All right, Luke. So is it safe to say that you're a you're a cryptids aliens type guy, right? A little bit. Yeah. Yeah. I think you know more about anything than anyone I know when it comes to the subject, because there's a few times where I've asked you if you if you've heard of things like, oh, yeah, I know. I know all about that. Yeah. No, that's where my autism just dials the fuck in. Like, oh, someone saw this one time. Let's fucking go. Wow. That was loud. I apologize.
That's fine. Yeah. Some people it's trains for you. It's a it's cryptids. Yeah. No, I love that. Well, today I got an alien story for you that you are somewhat familiar with, but our listeners might not be. I don't want to give it away too quickly. What it is. No, no, no. It's the anticipation. You sounded like Dennis from It's Always Sunny. It's the implications. All right. Well, our story today brings us all the way to I don't know if I'm pronouncing this right, but it's Tuscumbera, Missouri.
I'm sure they pronounce it wrong anyway. Well, you want a little backstory on this little this little hamlet, if you will, before we dive into the story. I feel like I have a good idea. But yes, I feel like it's necessary for this story. But well, then you need to tell it. All right. So Tuscumbera, located on the north bank of the Osage River, is a small village inside of Miller County, Missouri. And it's so small that on Wikipedia, it states the area it covers not in miles, but by acres.
Two hundred and eighteen, to be exact. There's not much information about the village, except that in 1990, its population was one hundred and forty eight people. It jumped up to two hundred and twenty three in 2009 and then drastically dropped back down to one fifty seven in 2021. I recently went to a botanical garden that was bigger than this town. It's the funniest part about finding out like the population information was that on the Wikipedia page, the only info is about the population.
And the last sentence of the opening paragraph just says the population was two hundred and three in 2010, at which time it was a town. And that's the whole. Is it unincorporated territory now? It's just it's a village. I don't know if there's like a threshold of population where you go from a village to a town. But at one point it was a town. Now it's just a village. I did not know that was the thing. I thought like I thought a village was just a town, but like cute. Yeah, that's what I like.
If a town goes cottagecore, it's now a village. Like when I think village, I think of the town from Gilmore Girls. I've never seen Gilmore Girls. What? This is a discussion for later that we're going to have to have, but we'll move on. You know, we are New Girl fans through and through. You know, that's you know. All right. So quick side note, my wife one time, she went and Luke was living with Mike Norton and Tucker, I believe.
I was over there hanging out and my wife walked in and she saw three to four grown men hammered off their ass. Middle of the day, just watching New Girl. And I think that's when she finally fell in love with me last and we were wrestling. I think that's when she was like, he's the one. That's what did it for. Yeah. When you had me in a fucking arm bar, I was trying to kiss my cheek while fucking. You're a handsome boy. I had to let you know. That's how I show affection.
And I get it. My only regret is that I can't kiss my own cheeks. And then I started smoking at 18. Yeah. So those are the two. Well, all right. Let's move on. So, yeah. So essentially, it's like where we're talking about is like a farming community. It's very rural, mostly white conservatives as to be expected. Oh, I imagined the tech industry. What's funny is that niche dot com gave an A plus for diversity, which I found hilarious seeing as the census data says that it's 95 percent white.
But, you know, I don't know what it's very diverse. They got Irish and Italian. But also with such a small with such a small, I guess, with such a small amount of people living there, to have five black people out of a hundred is like that's why like that must blow their minds. That's five percent. I think that's higher than Dover, New Hampshire. One family moves in. You're the most diverse town in fucking Mississippi. I'm sorry. Whatever the fuck that state is.
The only other thing I could find on the town is that are sorry, the village is no longer a town. Is that USC fighter Alex White is from there and that when he was a child, he suffered a traumatic injury due to the fact that he chugged a gasoline out of a milk jug that was mixed in amongst other milk jugs, but they were filled with lemonade. It's not funny, but it just kind of gives you a vibe. Fuck you. It isn't funny.
But it just kind of gives you like the vibe of where we're talking about, where there's just random gallons of gasoline intermixed with random gallons of lemonade. So do you have an idea of where we're at? Right. Yeah. This is when I refer to East Buttfuck. It's this town. Yes. This is this is East Buttfuck. We're there.
OK. Yeah. So the towns filled with down home, salt of the earth, good old Midwesterners and one of those salt of the earth men who in the winter of 1967 would encounter a group of strange creatures that are believed to be of extraterrestrial origin landed on this farm and based off his description, would become to be known as the space penguins. Oh, it's like two of my favorite things in one. It's adorable and it comes from space.
Right. That's what I'm saying. I want it as a pet. Let's go strap in. So the story goes that in the early hours of February 14th, Valentine's Day, 1967, farmer Claude Edwards woke up just before the crack of dawn to tend to his duties. Move the cows, cluck the hens, wink the pigs, just your average farmer stuff. You know how it goes. As the sun started to rise, he bundled himself up into the finest of car hearts to try and stay warm.
I mean, it's February in the Midwest, so you know it's cold as fuck out. And he leaves his home to head to the barn across the way. As he was walking, he noticed something odd with his cows. He stated that as he walked, he saw that all of the cattle that were in his east field were all staring in the same direction, which speaks to how good of a farmer he is because I, someone who is notoriously not a farmer, would not have thought that was weird.
I just assumed they were just doing weird cow shit. When you told me what we were doing, I definitely thought there would be no actual good cryptid credence to it. It would just be like some redneck on paint thinner. No, sorry. All the cows staring in the same direction. Oh no, I just thought like this is, gasoline is for special occasions, okay? This is Valentine's morning. You start your day with paint thinner. It's like a mimosas.
But like all the cows staring in one direction, that's fucking Skinwalker Farm like right there. So I am invested. That would not have, to me as someone who is just, that would not have been weird to me. But then again, I don't know farm animals. That could just be cows being cows. Yeah, I guess I know farm animals like a decent amount because my family grew up in Amish town. So I kind of thought that I was like, yeah, cows don't fucking do that. That's weird.
But I guess to like the city folk, like something interesting over there. That's fair. Well, apparently he thought the same thing, that this was not normal cow behavior. And it got him kind of curious. So he directed his gaze in the direction of where they were looking. And through a small grove of trees saw what he described as a massive gray and green mushroom-like object resting atop a cylindrical tube. Just sitting in the middle of a field that's just adjacent to the barn.
Never taking his eyes off the object, he continued to the barn because I mean, come on. Just because a UFO is in your fields doesn't mean you can't ignore all the work you got to do. You know, he still has to move all the cows and cluck all the chickens. Whatever farmers do, I don't know. Fuck that. I don't care what my job is. If there's a green dick like 50 feet in the distance, I have to see why that's on my property.
A big mushroom thing on the top of a large shaft. Why is this on my property? Well, to be fair, he didn't stop looking at it, but he did continue on his way to the barn. He dropped off the feed the feed bucket that he had been carrying. And after he dropped it off, he secured the barn once again and decides, all right, maybe I'll go and see what this is all about. So Edwards turns around to face the object that has so rudely parked on his prize Kentucky bluegrass patch.
I don't know what he was actually growing, but in my head, it was a very much get off my lawn situation. When you notice that the craft had occupants and they had disembarked the ship and now we're swarming around underneath the mushroom shaped ship. Now, in my head, I picture just a bunch of little cute little penguins having like a little maypole dance. Like it was like an alien. What's it called? Midsummer type deal going on.
I don't know what was actually happening, but in my head, I was trying to see if my recorder was in reach so I could do a little midsummer. Now, I'm imagining Gunter from Adventure Time. That's what you're who is canonically an alien. Fair enough. Either that or in my head, I also just see Pikmin just running around. Yeah, no, that's fair. Now, which tracks. Edward being the gruff, no bullshit taking Midwestern farmer that he is didn't take too kindly to trespassers extraterrestrial or not.
And being only about 70 feet away from the craft and its occupants separated by just a couple of fences and a couple of cows. He just said, I'm going to go over there and give him a stern talking to about the meaning of private property. Right. We live in America. You got to understand that there are laws. Luke, there are laws in this country and his skin. His skin color was probably different, too. So, yeah, you got it. Listen, you I don't take kindly to no trespass.
OK, we actually are not. But you understand this is my Kentucky blue glass. OK, just stand your ground, not float your ground, you fucking weird ass. Now, we use our feet around here. So he went through the first gate as he was approaching the second fence gate and was closing in on the little creatures. He knows that they began moving in an erratic and agitated fashion, even though they move quick.
He managed to get a good look at them and described them as being three feet tall with the complexion somewhat similar to the ships of gray and green, believing more on the greener side of things. They had arms, but no visible hands or feet in a face that had a dark protrusion where the nose and mouth would be. And they were maybe wearing goggles or they just had like large black wide sad eyes. They just they looked like green penguins, which to me is just adorable.
And I love that's fucking adorable is all hell. I love them so much. I would cuddle one right now. Now, even after noticing that these little cuties were clearly in a panic, Edwards still wanting to teach them a lesson on the consequences of trespassing. So at this point, he picks up two large rocks with the intent of throwing them at the craft in order to puncture its hull and keep it from taking off, which.
I mean, it kind of how good is this dude's fastball, but also it kind of defeats the purposes of trying to get them off of your land. Like what was he going to he's going to immobilize and then call the cops and be like, you know, they were trespassing. They they these little these little cute little bubbies, they were trespassing and I've bounced around and I threw my rock and it went. He's got a lot of faith in himself at this point. Just craft just broke through the fucking like ionosphere.
Yeah, I was able to like stand through the veil, like like an interdimensional type thing like you don't know. Either way, I don't think rocks are going to fucking do it. But also. Farmers are strong as fuck. Don't like farm and he's probably a dad. He has farm strength, dad strength and old man strength. He could puncture the hull of a ship with a rock if he played like he definitely played football.
What the fuck am I saying? I was going to say maybe if he was a great court, like there's only 20 other kids. The whole fucking team was on the whole. The kid was on the team and they didn't have enough kids. This whole village, this whole village's economy probably runs based off of their high school football team. You know he can throw. Oh, 100 percent. So I'll give him this. If he threw, I'm guessing he hit it. I just think it just doinked off. Oh, is that is that what you think?
I think it is. And then just fell to the ground. I don't think it pierced it, but I don't know the story. Oh, Luke, you're so about to be the most wrong. I just never have faith in rednecks. But as he carried the rocks closer, he got within roughly 15 feet of the ship and his penguin pilots when he was suddenly. That's pretty close. It's pretty good. Like if he was the star like thrower, I feel like he could have done like a Hail Mary.
Well, he was he was only 70 feet away to begin with. So, I mean, like you probably could have hit it from there. But I mean, the closer you get, I guess, like the more force you'd be able to hit it with. But anyways, he was suddenly stopped in his tracks by an invisible force field surrounding them. He said he couldn't see it or actually feel it, but at the pressure of the field was unmistakable.
And quote, I thought I was getting right up to it. I got up there and there it was just walked up against a wall. End quote. That is God just like putting his hand down and being like, whoa, I think you're better than space penguins. Yeah. Right. Get the fuck out of here. Penguins had no idea. It's like this dude can't keep approaching. God just like, no, no, no, no, no. I don't I don't think Edwards comes off as a good guy in the story.
He's from a he's from a village in a state I wouldn't fly to. Yeah. There's a reason why they call flyover. I didn't have hope for it. Yeah. So if this was so Cal, I'd be like, all right, let's see what this dude did. So since as since as word couldn't get any closer to just absolutely pummel this thing with rocks, he decided to get a better look at the ship. He described it as being dome like 18 feet in diameter and eight feet tall, made of flawless and seamless shiny metal.
The two bit was sitting on was made of the same material and was just a little taller than the creatures that were scurrying underneath it. It had what seemed like oval portholes or windows that were 12 inches long and evenly spaced around the rim of the saucer. But on closer inspection, Edwards claimed that the ovals didn't seem to function as windows, as they seem to be radiating colors out from them as if the lights were spinning from inside behind the portholes.
He described it as, quote, The object, it just looked like a big shell, grayish green looking outfit. And underneath there were all long holes where the lights were coming out. They were so bright you couldn't see when you got up to there as if the color wheel was turning inside the thing. End quote. I just like honestly, my brain like like I. The only thing I'm wondering is like. Why? Why?
Why would. Why do aliens have this thing where because it keeps happening like and it kind of also came from like the movies of like Close Encounter. Just flat lights. Yeah, we just we need to be a fucking disco ball. Why not? I mean, why not? Also is a good question. But I mean, we also don't know. Maybe that's the source of the force. But there also maybe that's the force field thing.
Maybe it's not all the time, but since they're landed and they're outside of the ship, maybe something turns on and that's what projects it. But you're right. Yeah, I guess. I don't know. I don't know. They're very flamboyant. I like that. No, it's good. They they're definitely flying their freak flag and they should. I fucking love it. Do you think they would have turned that on if they like they landed in a blue state? I think they were fine. They were good.
Yeah, you can come over like, yeah, we'll smoke you up. Yeah. I mean, I would just go over little hotpats, feel a little bread, little cheese, little penguins, eat fish. I bring a little can of sardines. Oh, they would love that. If you bring a can of sardines for penguins, you get on that ship. That's what I'm saying. I could fly through the galaxy with these motherfuckers. For the low cost of like one ninety nine. Exactly.
Now, I don't know if it was because he was scared, felt the end of Edwards was just a straight up dick. But after taking in what he was seeing, he backed up about 10 feet and threw one of his rocks at the ship. But of course, it just silently bounced off whatever force field was surrounding it. But being a man not so easily undeterred, he held his second rock, this time with more force, hoping that his fragile terrestrial strength would somehow shatter this otherworldly force.
And to his surprise, it didn't. It just it just it just skipped over the ship and then it like landed in the field behind it. Like he was like skipping a rock across like water after his second failed attempt to penetrate their sorcery. The penguins quickly ran around behind the ship and presumably entered through some sort of entrance on the backside. And then they prepared for launch. The ship tilted towards Edwards two times before raining hellfire down upon him in the form of laser fire.
Just kidding. It just kind of lurched forward a few times and then it took off. Could you imagine though? They were just like they were so cute little things. It would have been so good. But no, it just it just kind of it kind of just like rocked back and forth a couple of times. And on the third try, it ended up taking off and moving in a northeastern lead direction. That's even more adorable because it's penguins on a ship.
And like it'd be less adorable if it just immediately took off, like absolutely military, nailed it. No, it rocked a couple of times and it like wiggled. It was very unsure of itself. I'm just imagining like a penguin's like flapping at like a control panel. Well, the funny thing is that you said it had they had arms, but he couldn't see hands or anything like that. So they kind of were just like little flappy little guys.
In my in my head, I think that their controls were by their feet and it was very, very happy feet, tap dancing type of thing going on. Oh, I love that. Oh, my God. Their control panel was just that one long keyboard from the movie Big with Tom Hanks. But they got such little feet that I have to like jump. Well, there was a bunch of them. Maybe each one had their own key and they had to say battle stations like Tom has to go to a sharp. God forbid they have to have to do a key formation.
The they have to turn it with they have to jump on them with the accuracy of two dudes turning the keys to launch like a nuclear weapon. Like it has to be like so in sync or just fails immediately. I'm imagining the mice from Coraline. So that I was just going to hop right back in the. Let's get right to it. I lost where I was in my fucking story. All right, here we go. All right. They just took off. Yeah. So they they they took off. They were flying in a northeastern direction.
Edwards later retold this story to ufologist Ted Phillips telling him that, quote, the whole thing took over five minutes, maybe 10. I've never seen anything like it. It looks like shiny silk or something. I couldn't tell. I was going to tell, though, if I could have hit it with that rock and quote. Jesus. So, so big name like good get. I don't know how this fucking middle of nowhere, dudes, not just getting like the move on like bottle of the barrel.
So Ted Phillips actually so they got in contact with Ted Phillips through Edwards brother. And then we'll go into a little I'm not going to go too much into how like what their conversations and stuff were because that's a whole separate thing. But this was this was the first and only time that Edwards saw those space penguins. And I'm pretty sure the first and only time anyone has ever seen space penguins, why they never returned to pay old Claude another visit.
Who knows? Maybe they found what they came here to find. Maybe they crashed or maybe they just don't want to get pummeled to death by a fucking grizzled old Midwestern farmer. It's a village car has a bunch of rock holes in it. It's really it's anybody's guess. But yeah, so that's the story of the space penguins of whatever the name of this town was. I already forgot it because I don't care. Who cares? The people in the town don't know. The village. Yeah, the town is not a town.
Not good enough to be a town. I do think it's important to note, though, that I do 100 percent believe this man. The time period, the area took place for a man like him to come forward with his story is just basically opening yourself up to years of ridicule and becoming the butt of jokes for like years after. It never goes well for an experiencer. Yeah, 100 percent. He like he never tried to monetize his experience with books or speaking engagements or any type of like publicity.
This bitch could write a book. Yeah. And there's like no real reason to like to like fake it. He doesn't really seem like the prankster type, although he does love throwing rocks at things, apparently. That's like his go to, which I mean, I don't hate it. Yeah, it's not bad. Throwing rocks at shit. It's fucking great stress relief. But I do believe that he saw what he saw. He stuck with a story until the day he died.
And in fact, when the story first came about from Tom Phillips, Edwards wouldn't tell his story to Phillips unless he agreed to keep him anonymous until after he died, which he did. OK, that is exactly where I believe him now. Yeah. How is and that. So he so he made sure that he was anonymous until the day he died. And that's when Tom Phillips, like I believe he came forward with the story before he died. So before this, it was all anonymous.
And then after he died, we got the name of the farm, the farmer who experienced it all. But that's the story, Luke. I want to know what you think about this story, especially the end little details. Make it for me. Right. Because. Just some rando, just saying something once like there's tons of cryptids like like the single use cryptids where Saul one time never happened again, but for some reason. The keeps going, the fucking snaily gaster, one one sighting. And it's like a big one.
Oh, well, first of all, Roosevelt did almost cancel a trip to South Africa to hunt the sound of the gaster. So don't say it almost almost. That's because it was seen once and then a bunch of fake sightings happened years later. And that's when the Smithsonian, I believe, put out a bounty on its hide. And it was cited again after that. And Roosevelt was like, you know, I'm going to fucking. And then someone dressed up like Kangaroo and oh, no, that wasn't the smelly gaster.
Oh, but. But you're right. You were like you were saying, like, it never goes good for the experiencers or people that experience these things. So the fact happened once the guy who wrote Communion, like, is that what it's called? I've never even read the book. It kind of seems shitty. The first one, the one with the big gray alien on the front. He made money after that. Your life just gets fucking ruined.
So doesn't seem like a man who does a lot of research unless it's stuff that he confidently says, I did my own research and like doesn't get the vaccine. Yeah. But yeah. The stuff that is it goes along with other things that happen in the paranormal, like cows are always very and most wildlife. Very. They're very in tune to what's happening, happening around them. Yeah. Very common, like Skinwalker Ranch and stuff like that. So that was cool because he wouldn't have known to add that.
No. But also me being the asshole, like I said, a normal person, I wouldn't have noticed that that was a weird phenomenon. The cows are not organized. No, they're organized if they're afraid. Or if there's a fucking dog, like controlling them like a collie, like running around biting their ankles to get them in one direction. Gotcha. So anyway, so what are your thoughts on the story?
I love it. Probably going to be up there with my new favorite cryptid to just Google fan art of of just adorable little penguins happy feet in their way through space. Some of the fan art is really good. Also, I'm hoping this is happy feet too. Metazoo makes a space penguins card and it's one of the cutest cards I've ever seen in my entire life. Oh, my God. It's really good. But yeah, so that's the story. I mean, it's pretty good. I love it. I don't have no reason to doubt this man.
I believe he saw what he saw. And again, he he stuck to it. And the fact that he did, he didn't want to tell his story to Phillips until he agreed to make keep him anonymous because he knew that if it came out, it would ruin him. But but also sometimes the fact that he knew that kind of makes me think that maybe he had seen other things in the past where people's lives were ruined.
I mean, it could be a high area of high strangeness, but also he probably lives in that little village and he saw what happened when like Jerry came out as gay. Everyone's going to be just talk shit. Yeah, no, that makes sense. I do believe. If you were not the quarterback of like an all star American king of the hill town in that area, you're going to get ridiculed. You don't want to be the penguin guy. Yeah, you don't. You definitely don't want to be the space penguin or a gay or a minority.
That's true, dude. They have the most diverse village. I'm sure that one black family probably isn't that happy there. I hope they are. That's probably why the it's probably the population decreased in 2010, 2021. Sorry, in 2021, it decreased. That's probably because they all didn't get the vaccine. Oh, God, dude, I didn't even think of that. Oh, no, that'd be was that 2022 or 2020? Everything's blurred together since that. 2020 was was the pandemic. So they all died off. That makes sense.
Not a single one got the vaccine. All right. All right. All right, Luke. Well, thank you so much for coming on. I appreciate it. I'm finally happy to be here. I know. Well, definitely now that we figured this out and it's a good situation, definitely have you back on way more often. We'll definitely do that. And if we need anything with a Boston accent, keep Colby away from that. Yeah, he's not that great. That is that is not how people I grew up next to Dover, Massachusetts.
But it's funny. And I do think I saw the Dover Demon once. Do you? I saw something fucking weird in the woods. That was actually within the other podcast I was on. Want to interview me about? And I was like, it's not a good story. And they're like, no, no, no, we want to talk about it. I'm like, it's it's going to be real short. And they're like, OK, tell us the story. I'm like, I was seven. I saw a weird thing with yellow eyes. It ran away. Fascinating. And yeah, I was like, I told you.
Don't listen to the podcast. It was bad. I love it. All right. Well, thank you so much for listening, everyone. Thank you so much for Luke for coming on. You'll definitely be back on. He definitely has a voice for radio. I don't know why he hasn't doesn't do more of this. That in the face for it, too. That's fair. Make sure you follow us on Instagram at Crypto Cocktail. Follow me on Twitter. Crypto Cocktail. I don't ever use it. Follow me on TikTok at Crypto Cocktail Party.
If you want to donate to the show, there's a link in the episode description. You can do all that. Please leave a rating and review or tell your friends to listen to it. That's the best way to get the show out there to people. But besides that, I got nothing else to say. Luke, you want to say goodbye to everyone? Bye, everybody. Thank you.