I'll do it in post. You are now listening to cryptid cocktail party. Welcome back, everybody, to another episode. No, that's not. I don't like that one. I don't like that one. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I'm your host, Dave. Joined, as always, by my wonderful co -host, Sarge. How's it going, buddy? What's going on? Here I am. In all my average dick energy.
I don't know why, but for some reason, when you said, here I am, I just thought of that. It was like Kelly Clarkson. There I am once again. Oh my God. I almost forgot about that song. For some reason, that was the first thing that popped in my head. But yeah, Sarge is coming in today with average dick energy. Just very low key. Very chill. I feel like I'm content. I'm content. I'm bringing it's a good size energy to the show today. That's a good feeling to have, I feel
like. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. No, I think it's, I mean, I'm okay with it. I mean, honestly, I'd prefer that than low or small. Yeah, exactly. Small dick energy is when you... I don't want small dick energy. If I did that, I would have to become a conservative. I'd have to buy a lot of red hats. I don't want to do that. So today we were out running errands. We were at Home Depot because we got an umbrella, like a patio umbrella, which is way too big for my tiny patio
in Philadelphia. But we needed to get a base for it because the base we got was too small.
um and some fucking douchebag in a truck like drove through the parking lot like an asshole and my only thought was wow such a big truck for such a small dick for some who need you don't need a truck that big you live in fucking philadelphia where are you driving i know i see the same shit in boston and i'm like dude what are you doing as it is the streets aren't big enough for pedestrians no because it's just like Boston, Philadelphia, all of our streets were made for horses and horse
carriages. And then they just paved over it. Like half the two way streets should not be like, it's insane. Agreed. But you don't need a fucking H2 Hummer when you live in the city. It's not the apocalypse, you fucking clown. You're going to brunch. Dude, but also like the gas, like stop go traffic is terrible for your gas mileage. I can only imagine what a giant fucking gas guzzling truck is doing when you have a stop sign every block. It's ridiculous. It is way too much truck
for anybody. Yeah. Well, so I guess that being said, thank you for having average dick energy and not small dick. Thank you. Here we are having an old man screaming match. I feel like this is the exact kind of conversation that happens in the sauna at my gym. Yeah, we're basically having the modern day version of kids on my lawn, but now it's... Yeah, exactly. That truck is too goddamn big. Who needs a truck that big? It's not far off. Fuck it, dude. I feel like
that's way more... We should be complaining about that. We're speaking of practicalities, and that is an impractical vehicle for a city. Yeah. Wildly. Yeah. Considering the amount of tight turns you got to take a ship. I don't know. Whatever. It's ridiculous. Three point turn to take a left. Just, you know, just a couple of middle -aged men on a cryptic podcast complaining about trucks.
Just what it is. You know, some, some days. What I like about this show is that you and I are slowly starting to look more and more like each other. Hey, it's kind of like when you have a pet, like a dog. Yeah. And you kind of morph into the, yeah, it's kind of that vibe. I, you know, but hey, I fuck with it. Are those elderly couples that just at some point start to look like bookends, like one would look weird without
the other one? Oh, fuck. All right. Good thing we chose to do a second take on this episode. We had some technical difficulties. It's every episode, but it was weird today. I don't know. Maybe I'm just hearing things differently. You guys missed an enthralling discussion about penises. Did they? I feel like they did. Whether or not they wanted to hear it, I don't know. Let me know if you guys want to hear it. I could edit
it out and just send it to you directly. Some pointed criticism directed towards Steven Seagal's entire catalog. Well, we haven't gotten there yet. We haven't gotten there yet. Oh, okay. We'll get there. We can still talk about that. That's true. Make sure you cut this part out. All right, Sarge. I got an episode for you today. We're going to go back to our roots. We've been covering a lot of cryptid -adjacent things, which, I mean, I guess makes sense for the show. It's a cryptid
cocktail party. It's a cocktail of all different things paranormal and weird and shit. We haven't talked about a straight -up cryptid in a long time. And I feel like it's because we ran out of them. We didn't run out of them. It's just that like a lot of people don't know this, but like your favorite cryptid, if you're listening to this, probably the, the amount of information behind it isn't enough to constitute a full episode. And I'm not going to do a bunch of random, like
three cryptid episodes. I don't think that's fun for me. I've done it before. It's whatever, but I did find something super crazy, fucking weird. And I think you're going to enjoy it. So, Sarge, are you ready to hear a story? Yes. Okay. So, today we're going to be talking about The Glimmer Man. Are you familiar? The movie with Steven Seagal and Damon Wayans? It's not that. Okay. Good. Because that movie was butt cheeks. I believe it. But this is how the last
conversation started. But it came out in 96. And I will repeat this again for everyone listening. to this for the first time is that 96 was like peak, peak Seagal. Was there ever really a peak for Seagal? I feel like there was under siege and then that was it. No, I mean, yeah, that movie ruled though. I know you're going to come back with the whole, but it has Tommy Lee Jones in it. That doesn't mean that's because it had Tommy Lee Jones in it. Yeah, but he was also
in man of the house. So, I mean, That's true. Actually, yeah, that's fair. He also did Batman and Robin, and we can't really forgive that one. So you're not familiar with this at all? You have no idea what I'm talking about? No, I've never heard of it. I'm actually really excited. Okay, so the Glimmer Man is... I don't really know. Elton John from the 1970s. No, but I... Just tons of sequins all the way down, head to toe. Nothing to do with... You're thinking about
this all wrong. You're thinking about it as something that's shining. Don't think about it as something that refracts. Just chill. Just wait. Got it. Just calm down. This is not the crab from Moana. No. Sarge, you're no longer average dick energy right now. You're coming in hot. All right? I need you to fucking... Above average dick energy. Yes. All right? I was just trying to shoehorn as many references into the show as possible. Yeah, we're eight minutes in. I think most people
are going to turn off by now. Except for the Seagal fans. Yeah. Well, no, they're probably mad at you now, so they don't, whatever. Fuck it, you're Russians anyway. So the Glimmer Man is, I don't know what it is. No one knows what this thing is. The best way I can describe it is that it pretty much is like a human -shaped glitch in the air, if that makes sense. People who see it all described it the same way. A tall,
invisible figure that you can't really see. you can kind of only like spot it because the air around it bends and shimmers almost like looking through heat waves. Like when the blacktop gets too hot, I'll like, and forgive me the predator. No, that's like an accurate reference. I feel no. Oh, God damn it. So Sarge, what I want you to do is I want you to think of it basically like the predators cloaking device, but in real life, you son of a bitch. It's my own fault.
I should have anticipated that you would put that in the script. Again, Sarge, you're coming in with above average dick energy. You got to let me get through my sentences. All right? Again, we've gone time and time again, Sarge. You know that I would never string you along without a payoff. All right? Sorry, I have trust issues. That sucks. What's worse is that it's rarely just standing there. It moves. And it moves very
fast. Some would say unnaturally fast, through trees, across fields, even running right up and peering into people's windows. Then there's the combination of the sound that it makes and the lack of when it's near. Most people who have encountered it say that right before, everything goes dead silent. So no birds, no bugs, and a gut feeling that you're being watched. And then some people say they hear a weird clicking noise, like the thing is either trying to communicate
and or mess with them. So you weren't wrong to just immediately think Predator. But we'll get into it. We'll get into it. Don't look at me like that. I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say it. What are you going to say? I'm just enjoying the ride. What are you going to say? You have free reign. No, no, no. I mean, like, I'm not. I've cleared my mind, and I'm just accepting the information that you're plugging into it. Because now I'm really enthralled. And the thing
is, this is even more fucking scary to me. Because at least with, like, Bigfoot or fucking Chupacabra,
I know I can see it. yeah no that's this guy i can't see him unless he moves yeah it's a nightmare it's all bad none of this nothing in this story is good so so yeah nobody knows or even agrees with like what the glimmer man is but the basics are the same across all stories it's roughly human shaped uh it bends the air around it just like the predator it's seen mostly in forested or wild areas and it's scary as fuck so you ready to dive into some sightings You want to? God
damn. Yes. Now what's wild is that there are a lot more of these sightings than you would think there would be. This actually has been going back for like 40 years or so. Oh, snap. Yeah. So like before predator came out, but I narrowed some of the settings down to what I would call like the top three glimmer man moments in no real order. The first one. I mean, I guess I can't say it's an order, but this one's the worst one. I should have probably put it last.
I don't know why I didn't. But the first one I got for you takes place in the early 90s in rural western New York. So two boys whose names were never released were exploring a patch of quote unquote forever wild woods near Rochester, New York. Forever wild means that's like untouched. Like it's like, okay, okay, it's gonna and it's probably gonna remain that way. If that makes
sense. Gotcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they were just roaming around these woods when suddenly they were hit with an overwhelming gut -level primal fear. They didn't see anything but decided, let's fucking, let's dip. And then they just bolted home. Unfortunately for them, though, this wasn't the end of it. That night, one of the boys woke up being dragged towards an open second -story window by something invisible.
In the commotion of it all, the other boy woke up, looked over, and saw a massive human -shaped distortion, like a clear shimmering figure warping the air around it. It had the boy by both arms and was almost to the window when it must have either noticed the kid or something because it suddenly let go and then just disappeared. You know what happened? Jesse Ventura was holding a Gatling gun in the woods and he just growled.
I ain't got time to bleed. Okay. I'm glad you said that line and not a sexual Tyrannosaur. Because I feel like that would have been way worse to say when you knew your two kids almost getting abducted. Though I wouldn't put it past Jesse Ventura to say that in an inappropriate time. True. It's true. Now, the boys were so rattled that they didn't talk about it for months.
when they finally did open up about what happened they both described the same thing a predator like shimmering creature so what's wild about this case and why it stands out over all the others because this wasn't just like a sighting or a glimpse like this motherfucker like the glimmer man he fucking like stalked these kids home made physical contact and then tried to kidnap this child which is not great yeah no that's problematic it's now next up We have in
the winter of 2002, two men, Joseph and his friend Troy, decided to explore the ruins of a long abandoned U .S. Air Force radar station outside of Brookfield, Ohio. Well, that's your first mistake. No. The base had been dead for about like 15 years, maybe longer. There was no power, just crumbling buildings and snowy fields surrounded by brush. Inside one of the buildings, they heard something that... It was like a series of weird
electronic beeps. Tracking the noise down, they found a shoebox -sized metallic device half buried under debris. There was no lights on it, no wires. There was no clear power source. But something about it felt kind of off. Like it was too new, too out of place to be in a building that was dilapidated the way it was. So feeling a bit uneasy about the whole thing, they decided to
bail. As they cut across the open snow field heading back toward the perimeter fence, they saw fresh footprints forming right behind them. There was no body, no shadow, just deep human -sized prints appearing in the snow, pacing them at about 30 to 40 feet back. Oh, that's fucked up. I don't know why that bothers me, but it really does. It's not great. Now, Joseph squinted and caught sight of a shimmering human -shaped distortion, like a heat mirage, but it's winter,
so that doesn't make any sense. He raised his rifle, and that's when things got a little out of hand. Yeah, and he looked steely -eyed and was like, if it bleeds, we can kill it. So from the brush off to the side, they heard a massive crashing sound like a truck ripping through the undergrowth. It sounded like something huge barreling through ground level brush and it was heading straight for them. They didn't wait to see what happened next. They were just like, fuck it,
we're going. So they sprinted to a hole in the chain link fence and then dove through it. When they looked back, the shimmer, whatever it was, had stopped cold at the fence line. It wouldn't or possibly couldn't. cross through. Seconds later, it was gone, vanished into thin air. Wait, hold on. I feel like you buried the lead here. I'm not trying to like... The fact that it wouldn't go through a hole in the fence... Was it wearing one of those dog collars? There's stuff buried
in the ground. There's a weird noise when he
crosses it. Alright, so... some people think that maybe the device the box they found maybe that's like a range thing oh or maybe like gotcha it's we'll get into it but maybe it's like a military thing you know what i mean no more like so like it could be like maybe like yeah maybe it is a perimeter thing like i can't leave the military installation i fucking don't know dude uh that's immediately where my mind went is i'm like oh maybe it's wearing one of those collars
it's like Like an invisible fence collar. It's an attack predator. All right. So lastly, we got what I dubbed the military spouse encounters. Now, these took place between 2015 and 2017, where a woman living at Holloman Air Force Base had two encounters with a glimmer man. The first encounter happened while jogging with her husband one evening when they both spotted a large, semi -transparent figure in the desert between them and the airfield. She described it as tall, human
-shaped, and mostly invisible. She said it kind of looked like clear cling wrap that would distort the bushes behind it. Now, the husband, an active -duty military man, immediately told her, don't look at it. just keep walking. And that's what they did. They just put their heads down and left the area without acknowledging it any further. She was later as quoted. She was later quoted as saying the jungle. It just came alive and took him. Is that what you've been doing this
whole time? Are you Googling predator quotes? Maybe. No, God damn it. Motherfucker. I saw you keep looking down, and I didn't know what you were doing, but now it all makes sense. Okay, sorry. I'm done now. Now, the second incident is way worse, and I hate it. That same woman, just wanting to let in the bright desert sun, opened up her bedroom blinds and then saw the same shimmering figure standing right outside her window. Just a tall humanoid distortion hanging
out, just fucking peering. Freaked out, she slammed the blinds shut and stayed hidden until she was sure this thing had left. Now, when she later pressed her husband about both incidents, he did what any career military man would do, and he gaslit the shit out of her and denied everything, even though he had just seen it too and acknowledged
it during their jog. But given the proximity to a base known for high -tech weapons and UFO lore, the woman believed that what she might have seen With some sort of classified military cloaking technology or maybe even something out of this world. You see, I disagree. I feel like any true military man would immediately try to shoot whatever this is. I mean, without for a jog on the base, I don't think they're just carrying
around a pistol. I know a lot of military men who do carry around a pistol just for funsies. When they're jogging, like just in their fucking trainers. These guys will find a way to carry a gun. I mean, that's fair. No, I mean, in all reality, I don't think he would, like, you know, try to shoot it while he was out for a jog. But if it came on his porch... He wasn't home. Oh, now I'm sorry. I thought what you had said is that, like, she saw it, and then he was immediately
like, nah, you didn't see it. That was when they were jogging in the woods. Again, you were too busy looking up quotes to... No, no, not the second story. The second story was very present. Okay, so... So what is the Glimmer Man and where the fuck does it even come from? Well, it's probably no surprise that the Glimmer Man is a modern
phenomenon. Now, visually, we've already established that the blueprint for what people report today can pretty much be traced back to 1987 when the movie Predator dropped and gave the world the image of an invisible hunter cloaked by a shimmering heatwave -like distortion. Now, nearly every modern Glimmer Man witness describes it the same way. Like the predator. Yeah. Same wavy outline, same feeling like the air itself was warped around
into a human shape. But here's the twist. A lot of these witnesses hadn't even seen the movie when they had their encounters. They'd only make the connection years later when they finally saw predator and nearly fucking shit themselves, realizing it matched pretty much exactly what they'd seen. Exactly. And the other thing is like, this is such a, like a hard thing to describe. Hmm. That, like, we had to search through our minds to find an analog, you know, in our minds.
Like, oh, yeah, like the Predator. Yeah. Maybe people have been seeing this shit forever, but could never put a name to it. Like, how do you describe moving air, right? Well, here's... Besides wind. So, the real world sightings started quietly
in the mid -1980s to early 90s. We had isolated incidents like there was a woman in South Illinois who saw a quote -unquote heat wave angel near the Chikoya Mountains around 1987, or there was another guy in Tennessee in 1993 who spotted a shimmering figure leaping through the trees like it was fucking nothing. Now, back then, as you said, nobody had a name for it. It was just that weird invisible thing. Yeah, you know, and almost nobody talked about it out of fear
of sounding completely batshit insane. These are what you call like silent reports. They're just basically memories shoved into the back of people's heads because they figured no one would ever believe them. Exactly. Or maybe they were like, oh, I must be seeing things. Maybe it's a mirage, whatever. Yeah. It wasn't until like the early 2000s that things started to like snowball. Paranormal forums and weird encounter websites like Phantoms and Monsters and the old
above top secret like boards. They started to collect. people started to notice a pattern, like different people from different parts of the country were telling the same story. A transparent figure, bending light, moving unnaturally fast, and as more reports stacked up, people realized this wasn't just a one -off thing. So by the 2010s, the term Glimmer Man started, it pretty much stuck. That's the only way you could really
describe it. Podcasts like Expanded Perspectives, Monsters Among Us, and Belief Hole picked up the scent and started featuring like encounter stories and then once tiktok youtube and reddit latched onto it like the glitter man officially turned into like what it is now now so so today the glitter man isn't just like some fringe weirdo story you have to dig for like it's pretty mainstream among paranormal fans doing the gritty but what's wild about it is that like from what i can tell
like this legend didn't start like out it's not like a hoax or a creepypasta like this is way before the internet it's way before like those types of things were around it built itself naturally piece by piece out of hundreds of independent accounts from people who thought they were alone until they weren't i guess right yeah yeah so if you want to dive into some theories about what this thing could be fuck yeah i do Me personally, I think, I honestly think that, like, and I'm
not, this isn't a theory about what it is, but, like, there's always this contingent of people who's like, oh, well, people didn't start seeing these until they saw them in movies. And my counter to that is, or maybe they finally had a way to describe what they were seeing. Exactly. Like, there, you, until you finally, I don't know how, I'm trying to agree with you, but I don't know how to word what I'm trying to say. I got you.
I know we're mind linked. Yeah. Sorry that the people who are listening to us can't see that. Yeah. Like you can only describe something so long until you have the perfect visual representation. Exactly. Yeah. You got it. You understand. Yeah. Well, they like back in the 50s, they used to say like, oh, you know, people didn't really start describing flying saucers until this movie came out and it had flying saucers in them. And
it's like. Or maybe they would see a disc in the sky and they're like, how do I tell somebody it looked like a plate? A saucer? Yes. Yeah. Exactly. It's just, I mean, you can call it what you want, but I mean, it's the Predator. There's no other way to describe it until that. Exactly. All right. So, Darius, you ready? I'm ready. Okay. So, again, nobody knows for sure. what this thing is obviously, but the theories fall into two big camps, the paranormal or military
technology. So some believe, and I, if this thing is real, I kind of fall into this category that it's an interdimensional creature. So it's slipping in and out of our world. It's never fully solid. That would explain why it looks like a distortion instead of a body and why the woods go deathly silent when it shows up. Others think it's a spirit or forest guardian tied to ancient legends from Native American tribes and European folklore. Basically like a natural protector chasing humans
out of place that we don't belong. Okay. And then you have the cryptid angle, which is a biological creature with natural camouflage. And this is the part that I find really funny because this is something we joke about all the time. Some Bigfoot theorists. Have described similar invisibility tricks. Claiming that it's blurry. Glowing eyes. It's just naturally blurry. It's a creature that adapted to be out of focus. Some Bigfoot theorists believe that he's just naturally blurry. They
fucking did it, man. They're using the he's just naturally blurry defense. Fuck, dude. No, we don't have to get better cameras. He's just always blurry. Come on. When I saw that, I was like, fuck you guys so hard. That is so much cope. As you can see, that's why I named the studio. They actually use the, he's just naturally blurry defense because that is a banana. I love it. Either way, but yeah, but you know, maybe it's
not paranormal at all. Maybe it's just something that like learn to hide better than anything else on earth. Like maybe it's just like a cousin of Bigfoot. That's super cool at, you know, I mean like octopi cuttlefish. Yeah. They, they're pretty incredible at fucking mimicking their background. Chameleons kind of, but you know, they're not as good as octopus or cuttlefish. So, um, I mean, you see it in nature all the
time. Like you watch a nature documentary about cuttlefish, you'll see them completely change. Some octopus looks like rocks and coral and shit like that. It's wild. Yeah. So, I mean, it could be, I don't know. But a lot of sightings of this thing happen to your military bases. Because of course they do. And I didn't know this, but there's real -world invisibility technology. Kind of. There is, yeah. There's hyper -stealth, quantum -stealth cloaks. They're patented. Yeah,
I saw it on YouTube. There's actually some kind of cool videos of people using these cloaks that sort of... I forget how it works, but it kind of just projects what's behind them onto the cloak in front so that it looks like they're not there. But it's kind of close to what you're describing in terms of shimmering air almost because it moves. Kind of. So the theory that the glitter man is secret technology, that's
actually been gaining more traction. in obviously like in the 2000s obviously not like in the 80s uh but it could be soldiers testing cloaking suits or maybe even like weird drones with light bending armor or something nastier that we're not supposed to know about yet uh and considering places like holloman and white sands they're like basically playgrounds for secret projects like this one isn't like crazy far -fetched The only problem is that some of the Gloomer Man's
behavior, like sprinting through treetops or smashing into walls of brush, seems way beyond the limits of what a human being could do. That's because you have never gotten drunk with a bunch of soldiers before. This is true. Because everything you described are things I've actually witnessed. special tech, like some sightings, it could explain some, but not all of the sightings. How's that?
Is that better? Yeah. And I feel like back in the day, like if this was like in the, you know, early two thousands, like that would require a lot of power. And I feel like you wouldn't be able to have batteries that would be small enough to make you agile. You know what I mean? True. But maybe like, so, but maybe like the
sightings and like the later, 2020s, 2010s. We did then, but maybe like the one in 2002 when they were, or whatever, when they were at the military base, the abandoned one, maybe that fucking box was like, you know what I mean? Like it could be, could be. Yeah. It just, the only thing that would make me shy away from the military idea. And actually I'm usually the one who like immediately shuts down the military angle because I know how incompetent the military is. Yeah.
But R &D at the military has got to be fucking legit. It is pretty crazy. It is pretty crazy. I got a buddy who works at the Proving Grounds in... Not the Proving Grounds. Natick Labs. And I mean, like... You know, he's obviously not giving me, like, top secret information, but he says, you know, there's a lot of cool shit that they have there. And I'm not, again, opposed to this at all because I know that the military has been working on this kind of advanced camouflage
technique for a long time. So, yeah, I mean, like, the only thing, the only reason that I would say, like, maybe not is just because, like, usually when the military tests something, there's, like, a lot of people there to watch the test. So, like, for there to just be one guy and they didn't happen to see anybody else, like, the only thing I could think of was, like, okay, maybe there were cameras that they were watching
it on. But I feel like if you were going to test something this top secret and high tech, you're not going to be in, like, a warehouse somewhere. True. You're going to be, like... You'd probably have a perimeter set up where people could just walk in. Like the basement of the Pentagon or something. Yeah. You know, like, Aberdeen Proving Grounds. Like, you're not going to be, like... Let's go to the old candy factory. Yeah, no one's just jogging through your high -tech military.
Yeah, no, that makes sense. But then again, I also know Special Forces are just fucking crazy. So I also wouldn't put it past the Special Forces guy just to steal it and go fuck around with it. I mean, that also tracks, too. Like, those dudes are nuts. Yeah, but pretty much the bottom line here is that it could be cryptids. Could be aliens, could be spirits, could be government. It could be literally all of the above. Like,
who the fuck knows? Also, some have speculated that these creatures could explain mysterious disappearances in national parks, like the cases documented in the missing 411 phenomena. But that's a whole different rabbit hole theory that I'm not going to dive into. There are some stories. It's fucking wild. But that's the missing 411. I'll leave that to Nick and his show because he does all that stuff. But there you have it, Sarge. That is the Glimmer Man. That's all I
got for you today. I love it. What are we thinking? How are we feeling? Honestly, the military thing somehow makes it a little bit more believable for me because I would not put it past. A couple of specialists in the army to be like, hey, put on the camo suit and then play the predator noise. I mean, that's the only one that tracks to me. Exactly. I mean, there were like, I know like Skinwalker Ranch, which I fucking hate so much.
I hate Skinwalker Ranch. So stupid. They have, there are, before the fucking billionaire, whoever that was, bought it and made it into the reality show it is now. There were like this like type of shit happened where there was like a predator type thing. And they've had other instances where like on thermal cameras, they see a body. There's nothing there kind of thing. Yes. Yes. I do remember hearing about that. I mean, I like it. I mean, I think I'm not skinwalker ranch. I think that's
nonsense. I like this theory and it's, it's actually one that I'm surprisingly open to. Normally I'm the, I'm the skeptic who's like, no possible. There's no way you can make space age cam a lot, but in this situation, I actually kind of, I'm not, I'm not against this idea. I kind of think it's, it's definitely plausible. It's definitely plausible that it could be military. And I hope it's an interdimensional being, honestly. Because that's so fucking cool. Honestly, that's my theory.
That's the one I want to go with. I don't think that it's Bigfoot who's just naturally blurry. I think you're a bunch of fucking pieces of shit if you think that. That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard in my entire life. I actually had this conversation in the car with my sons, actually, today. We're driving to Target. And my oldest boy, he didn't know what he was getting himself into. But he was like, man, I just wish that, like... we could get definitive proof that there
was life on other planets. And I was like, all right, buckle up boys. And I just went down a list of like crazy shit. And they were like, dad, are you okay? Do we need to call someone? I called a VA. I think my, my, I think my nine year old was ready to jump out of the car. Like he was just done. Yeah. Well, the 13 year old was like a little bit more. He was like, Oh, that's right. Dad's dad's a war bad. It's okay, Dad. Dad's crazy. Yeah, a little bit. It's fine.
All right, yeah, shorter episode today. I didn't really have much. I just thought this was a fun story I wanted to tell, which is how most of the stories I want to tell go. But you're good with this one? This one's good? You fine with this? I love it. Love it? I love it. I want more. If you have seen A Glimmer Man, reach out. Yeah, please. I want to know what the fuck. I want to know your story. I just want to know what the fuck. Where were you? What were you doing?
Did you smell it? Does it have glowing blood? But more importantly, what the fuck? Like, come on. All right, man. Before we sign off, I just want to say thank you everyone listening. We charted twice recently for some fucking reason. This episode probably won't because people are going to listen to it and be like, they're a bunch of fucking ding -dongs. But yeah, we got to 80 -something in Ireland and like 122 in Sweden, which is crazy. So if you're in Ireland or Sweden,
thank you so much for listening. You guys, tell all your friends. Keep it going. Keep listening. Call your cousins here in America. Tell them to get their shit together. Yeah. And, you know, if you like what you hear, just leave us a rating and review. That'd be fucking awesome. I'd really appreciate it. Helps the show go on. You can
do it on Apple. You can do it on Spotify. You can do it on... pocket cast that there's a bunch of anywhere you can just do it um yeah yeah uh but yeah that's all i gotta say sarge you got anything you want to plug before we sign off yeah you know we still got the coloring book
going on it's sarge's supernormal .com um i promise one day i'll stop plugging this thing but um it's still relevant unfortunately probably more so now than ever um so get the coloring book it's some political humor um that well i mean it was funny until recently uh yeah and find us on social media i'm at sarge the destroyer just google it i'm the only moron who picked that name um and you know that's all you gotta say i was gonna say i was gonna say google i
mean google the show we pop up everywhere that's true uh but if you want you can just follow us on instagram at cryptic cocktail false tiktok cryptic cocktail party and that's all i gotta say sarge you want to say goodbye and a little bit to the audience Goodbye, and I love you.