Find other great podcasts like this one at podmoth.network. Oh, hi. If you're looking for another spooky and funny podcast to add to your rotation, check out Anything Bones, now part of the Podmoth Network. Hey, Boneheads. I'm Sophie Schwartz. And I'm Caitlin Hart. And we're the hosts of Anything Bones, the podcast where we talk about bones and bone-related topics. So, what are bone-related topics? Thank you for asking, Caitlin.
This can be anything from mausoleums to murderers, famous skeletons to cadaver dogs, bone churches, mummies, serial killers. You'll hear about them all. And sometimes we have guests stop by and tell us their favorite bony tales. Check out Anything Bones on Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or wherever your little heart desires. We release new episodes every Saturday. Bone voyage! Hey, everybody.
Welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I am your incredibly hungover host, David Prescott, joined once again by the most handsome boy I know, Nicholas Eisman. What's going on, buddy? You look hungover. I, dude, all right. It's the past two weeks have been a nonstop roller coaster of just torturing my body. It's not okay. Because we went to Vegas last weekend for when we were young.
And the desert is a very hostile environment. And I hated being there every second of it. It was so fucking hot. I love Vegas. Oh, dude, fuck Vegas. Everything's way too expensive. It's just hot all the time. And it's a dry heat. Go fuck yourselves with that bullshit. Dry heat sucks because you just as soon as you try to cool off, I get water on you and immediately evaporates. You don't cool down at all. It's a nightmare. You got to drink it. Well, yeah, I drink it.
I even had those liquid H, I almost said liquid HIV, liquid, liquid. I mean, different. That's for a completely different podcast. I'm too liquid HIV cocktail party. Yeah, we just had the liquid IV things and that didn't help at all. It also didn't help that the second day we were in Vegas, I got incredibly sick and was sick the entire time.
And then, as you know, this weekend was my birthday and I decided to keep fucking up my body by drinking nonstop and then going to a show and moshing, which I haven't done in a long time. And then my bones hurt. All my bones hurt, Nick. I would have been there with you, but I went to a terrible haunted house last night. Rich and I were visibly upset. What was so bad about it? The lines were way too long. There was like. It was just not good, not good for forty five dollars.
It just wasn't wasn't worth the two attractions that were there. It was an hour away from Rich's house. Yeah, that's a top ranked in New Jersey. My ass top ranked in New Jersey. I would have just went to Six Flags if I knew that was the case. Like it was fun while I was walking around, but at least Six Flags, like you spend 60 bucks to get the roller coasters. You get the the Gobble Ghoul running around with a chainsaw. Sorry, I had to rehydrate. I'm fucking dying.
Well, I'm sorry I had a bummer haunted house. There's nothing more of a bummer than a like a shitty haunted house. Like, yeah, like I love that stuff. I live for haunted houses. Well, like especially like if there's a long line to get in, you can kind of like hear the haunt going on and then you're like, well, now I kind of know what to expect before I get in there. You know what I mean? That's the crazy part is we in here. God damn thing. Really? It just sucked no matter what.
Well, I'm sorry, man. That's like, but hey, you know, cheer you up. Cryptids. Okay. I don't know if I'd consider this a cryptid. We'll figure it out. But it's just I'm sure you're going to love this story. I think I always do. Do you always do? All right. So you want to just dive right into this? Are you familiar with the terrible flying jelly bags of Sweden? I'm going to go by your face. I'm going to have to, you know, tell everyone that's not seeing my facial reaction to this.
That's going to be a big fat no. Okay. David. No, I didn't think you would be familiar with it. All right. And you said jelly bags. Oh, yeah. We'll get don't worry. All right. So on December 20th, 1958, a couple of dudes from Sweden named Hans Gustafsson, age 25 and his buddy Stig Rydberg, age 30. That's a great name. Stig is a great name. They're heading back to Hans's mother's house after a night on the town with their lady friends.
Now, I have no idea what Swedish nightlife was like in the night in like 1958. I'm going to assume it was fucking weird. I don't know why I feel that way. I just do. I think that they love the nightlife. They love to boogie. They like the disco and ride. But I did learn that the 1958 World Cup was in Sweden. So that's kind of cool. And then really the first indoor hockey rink was inaugurated there. So it's kind of fun. That part doesn't surprise me. They they love their hockey.
Yeah, I just assumed it would be sooner than 1958. I mean, how they get a how they get to cool the ice. It's indoor. Fair. I didn't even think about the technology needed to do something about. Anyways, as as the pair traveled the quick trek back to Heinz, Heinz Berg. Holy shit. I can't read somebody's names. Somebody is having a time of his life. It's Swedish names and my brain is on fire. I don't understand what's happening.
So as the pair travel, the quick start trek back to Heisenberg from Hagenas, Hans's force to slow his car down to a crawl due to an unusually thick and soupy fog that pretty much obscured everything. Think like like the mist type of fog. Oh, great movie. That mist is terrifying. I don't like it. So finally around 3 a.m. near the village of Domston, they decided to pull off the road to swash your legs, wait for the fog to roll out and take a quick roadside piss.
That's actually what they said they were doing. I didn't add the info flare. They were actually just taking piss on the side of the road. So as they were taking turns pissing on a tree or crossing streams or whatever, they noticed a weird glow coming from the trees about 150 yards away and being young and presumably drunk as all hell, considering it's 3 a.m. They're coming from a night out on the town and they're pissing on the side of the road. They decided to go check it out.
We've all been there. Oh, 100 percent. Listen, I pee on the side of the road even when I'm not hung like hammered. Oh, yeah, I pee on the side of the road all the time. I did it in the middle of the desert because I could not hold it. And then there was a cow. First off, you really weren't in the middle of the desert. You were in Vegas. No, we went. We drove to the Grand Canyon. Oh, did you really? Yeah, we were in the desert. Oh, OK. And then Vegas is the desert. You fucking fool.
Outside of the strip, you're in the desert. Yeah, but you're really not. You're not in Vegas when you're outside of the strip. You're like you're in the desert. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Stop derailing the show, Nicholas. You don't know what you're talking about. So these they're they're hammered. I've been to Vegas. You know, and I haven't been Sweden. I don't know anything about these these flying jelly bags.
Well, as they were walking to the source of the unknown lights, they stopped by a no camping in this area sign. And that's when they spotted the source of the mysterious lights illuminating through the fog. It was a three foot high, 15 foot wide saucer that they said was, quote, made of a peculiar shimmering light that changed color. I don't know if I was I talking to you about this or Luke, but like, why do UFOs always change, like change color lights? Like, why is that?
So I have heard a few different theories on this. Yeah. The most popular is especially in our atmosphere and our airspace. They're trying to blend in with planes, with helicopters and stuff like that. The other train of thought there is to is based on the movie Close Encounters of a Third Kind, where they're using lights to almost communicate.
OK, because I think when the Pesca Quala space penguin one episode we did, that also had like a like it spun different colored lights on the inside and shit like that, too. And I think there was another one that did it. I just don't understand the reasoning why. But that that makes sense. They either want to blend in or they're trying to communicate that tracks. I'll take it. I'll take that. I'll take that all the way to the bank.
So now up to this point, this sounds just like another boring UFO alien story. And Nick, I didn't bring you on here to waste your time. That's not what I'm about. OK, this is where the story gets fucking bonkers. I mean, listen, I don't think you're I'm already sold. You got flying jelly bags. I'm a man who loves I'm a man who loves jelly. Well, we haven't even gotten to the jelly bags yet. That's why I'm already invested.
Now, before they could really take in what they were seeing, because I'm assuming that seeing a UFO would probably make it kind of like pause and shut down for a second.
The two suddenly found themselves surrounded by three foot long undulating jelly blobs that Rideberg described as looking like a protozoa that was bluish in color and hopped and jumped like globs of animated jelly, which, again, I'm sure would kind of make you just sit there for a minute in disbelief because it's the right thing. Like, what the fuck is going on? Which is probably what happened. Yeah. What do you say? So you just look at like imagine this.
You're hammered. You've had a I don't know what the Swiss drink. I imagine it's something fancy. You know, with champagne. OK. Hammered off champagne. And you see a essentially a blob. Yeah. Just kind of going through flash animations. Yeah, pretty much in front of you.
That's terrifying. Yeah. But it gets worse because before, like I said, before they could even really read the room, the jelly swarmed over Rideberg and Gustafson, engulfing their limbs inside their surprisingly tough gelatinous body. Now, with their suction like force, the jelly started dragging them back to their ship, while other jellies around them did what the two described as some sort of macabre dance around the ship, but also around them.
And also they smell that apparently it said that they felt strongly of ether and burnt sausage. So that's a that's an award winning combination right there. If you ask me, your face says you don't enjoy that. No, I like I honestly kind of hate that. Yeah, it's bad smell. Everything about it. I don't like. How do I put this? Because I enjoy a jam. Right. Like I enjoy like. Grape jelly, but I don't like you remember when a. Gloop was a thing when people were super into like the the slime.
Oh yeah, the Nickelodeon slime and shit like that. I hate. Well, I got slimed as a kid. OK, true story. Traumatized. Oh, yeah, dude, I had it like in my ears. It smelled like rotten pears. I'm allergic to pears. It was a whole whole lot of deal. So now anyone's making like that cornstarch slime and I see it on Tiktok, like the the hair on my arms stands up. So this is actually a genuine nightmare of mine of being pulled back to an alien spaceship by just slime time slime.
Yeah. And this is now, mind you, this is all happening while other jellies are fucking like dancing in like a weird midsummer fucking like. Yeah. What is the Taylor Swift movie like? Premier, dude, with Swifties dancing around. Yeah. Oh, but also, Nick, it gets worse. So the men obviously frantic tried to escape, but as soon as either of them gotten a pendant out from one of the like the dancing jelly bags, another one would just latch on.
Rydberg even tried punching one, which is probably the worst idea, because he just ended up getting enveloped up to his elbow in jelly. Now, finally, Rydberg was able to get free and made a mad dash for the car. Looking back over his shoulder, he can see that Gustafsson wasn't so lucky, which I mean, I get it. Nick, if it was the two of us, I'd fucking bail to. I'm sorry. Like, honestly, say, fuck you, fuck those jellies. I'm out of here. I love you. But like, I can't do the jelly.
Yeah, no. It's like a gray. I'd punch a gray for you. Yeah, because there's a because they're solid. And I feel like just the first reaction to punch something that was clearly already engulfing you. Not not the best look. In my opinion, I want to know what happened to this guy. Oh, well, Gustafsson could only watch. He's dead. Well, Gustafsson could only watch as his friend ran away, leaving him to be swarmed by these jelly like creatures, which have now engulfed him up to his abdomen.
And we're pulling him so hard that he's now horizontal to the ground as he's holding on to the no camping sign for dear life. The other thing, too, is that these things float. They're not on the ground. So they're like hovering above the ground, bouncing around and fucking shit like that. So they're just pulling him and he's just horizontal to the ground. That's how forceful they are. I don't know if them not having feet makes it worse or better. I don't think it's so much worse.
I don't think it makes it worse or better. I think it's just all nightmarish all around. No, I hate. So even if they had feet, I hate this. Yeah, it's all bad. Now, Rydberg being decidedly not the hero of the story, obviously, because he ran away from his friend, realized there's nothing he could do. And just continued his mad dash to the car with two of the globs hot on his heels.
He was able to get to the car, hop inside and slam the door before being, you know, like globulated by the jelly globs. Glob globulated. I don't know. I just what I wrote. No, he when he got in the car, he punched his fist into the car horn. He did this in the hopes of getting someone like anyone's attention to come help them. But they're in the middle of really nowhere.
But luckily for the pair, the sound of the car horns seemed to have scared the jelly bags because the two outside the car immediately turned around and headed back to the ship. While the ones that were wrapped around Gustafson released him from their grip and he fell to the ground in just like a heap, just an absolute pile of a man. Like just crumpled.
Now, obviously feeling a sense of relief and adrenaline, he immediately got to his feet and ran for the car, looking behind him briefly to see the disc shaped craft taking off into the sky. The two men now safely in the car. They just sat there in silence, obviously, tear streaming down their face, the scent of burnt sausage lingering in the air. The encounter only lasted five minutes. But I'm assuming it's something that stuck with them for a lifetime.
It took the men over 25 minutes of like just stunned silence and sobbing to calm down long enough to finish the drive home. Normally, you think that's where the story would end. But please tell me there was more sightings of these fucking things. There was not. But once the two men got home, they decided that they weren't going to speak a word of this encounter to anyone. They weren't too worried about being like ridiculed or mocked or anything like that.
Like I would say that was going to be that was going to happen no matter what. They were more worried about like their mental state being brought into question. Like people thinking they were just absolutely crazy. So for three days, they just kept quiet. Rydberg was unable to sleep for those three days, and both him and Gustafson were clearly suffering from anxiety, depression, just full on like PTSD from the encounter. But it wasn't just the mental health that plagued them.
They also obviously had physical injuries, bruises, scrapes, bloodshot eyes. I'm assuming from crying and the ether smell probably didn't help that. And those injuries didn't go unnoticed. Both Hans's mom and brother noticed the change in both his and his friend's behavior, as well as the injuries. So Hans decided it was time to come clean. And he ended up him and Stig ended up telling Hans's mom about the experience over breakfast.
Here's how his mom described her reaction to being told the story, quote, I burst out laughing. But like, what do you honestly, though, what do you expect is going to happen? Yeah, I know for a fact, if I told either of my parents that Angela would laugh her ass off at me. Oh, yeah. And Paul just wouldn't. I don't think he'd even have a reaction like, sure, Nick, that sucks. It's a bummer, man. And he'd go about his day. Well, yeah. But I mean, what are you going to do?
Be like, do you want me to go find the aliens for you? Like, I mean, I guess maybe console them. But yeah, so basically he told his mom and then just like his worst fear came true. He just laughed at him. His brother laughed at him. But it wasn't long after the group realized that this wasn't just some made up story. But an actual event that happened to these two young men that left them pretty shaken to their core.
So Hansa's mom did what any good mother would do to try and help get her son to help, you know, that he needs. So she contacted the largest newspaper in Sweden and told her son's story to them. Because what can go wrong? Well, no one really knows why she decided to go to the press to tell her son's story, which I'm almost 100 percent certain that she did without his knowledge. I don't think he knew. Oh, no, he didn't know in the slightest bit. Yeah. No fucking idea.
No. So some say she legit thought it would help maybe someone see it and he'd be able to get like a mental evaluation or like someone could come and try and research it. Others say it was a drum up business for their dry cleaning business that she ran that her son and Stig, I believe, also worked at. Either way, nothing good came from. Well, yeah, because why would you want to go to the dry cleaners that gets attacked by slime? True. And I bet that should stains your clothes.
Oh, it stains, probably destroys it. Yeah. Texture wise. I can't imagine it'd be wearable after that. I would burn it. It's not what you need. Oh, yeah. I'd burn myself afterwards. I don't give a fuck. I don't fuck with slime. I just don't. It's all over. Now, the two quickly became very well known in Sweden. And in January of 1959, they were called in the Helsingborg police station for an interview that quickly became what boiled down to an 11 in an 11 hour interrogation.
Officially, the interview was to satisfy the military and their concerns about unknown technologies infiltrating their airspace. But in reality, they were just trying to get them to confess that it was all a hoax and none of it actually happened. But the boys kept to their story. The cops even wired the room to try and catch them talking about the quote unquote hoax when they thought they were alone. But they stuck with the story. They never changed it once.
So after the brutal interrogation and a whole slew of physical and psychological tests, which lasted almost a week, the men were officially deemed physically and mentally fit. But that didn't matter because officially the Swedish military still deemed it a hoax and totally just shit on these dudes. So, yeah, but there you have it. That is the the story of the terrible flying jelly bags, aka the Dompston blobs.
Now, Nick, I'm going to ask how you're feeling about this, but I can already guess that you fucking hate it. But I like this. I hate it. I genuinely, Dave, I cannot wait to not think about this anymore. Like I so I love aliens. Right. I like hearing about alien encounters. I like hearing about like as fuck as I like hearing abduction cases. Yeah, I think there's something to be learned there. Right. There's a lot of cool shit that's going on.
But there's no motive with these fucking blobs. You can't even you can't even get a face reading on it. At least the gray you can kind of see like, you know, there's facial expressions. This is the blob. You're literally dealing with like, you know, the pink blob from Phoenixville, just pulling you back into a ship. Not to mention your mom laughs at you when you tell her. Right.
And then like in the entirety of your country that knows, which is true for most larger alien sightings and abductions and all that stuff. But like, oh, by the way, your government thinks it's a hoax and essentially tells you to go fuck yourself. I hate it. And every time Stig walks into a bar, they're like, hey, Stiggy. Hold on. I can't do a Switzerland accent or Swiss accent or I would do it.
But they're like, hey, Stig, where are your blobs? And they're like, what happens if his partner is like mildly overweight? Oh, well, they were three feet tall, so it's fine. But also I feel like they start calling them sticky. Oh, yeah. It was that it went from Stig to Stiggy. There's no way. But yeah, I imagine like you're holding on to this for three days and your biggest fear is people thinking you're crazy and that people are going to laugh at you.
And as soon as you come out to your mom and brother, their first reaction is to just fucking laugh at you and then put your shit on blast in the largest newspaper in Sweden. That is such a dick move. Like, yeah, you're not. That would be like if you told me you had an encounter in confidence and then I laughed at you and then called the New York Times. Yeah, I feel like that's just not OK. Well, yeah. But yeah, Nick, there you have it. That's the Swedish meatball story.
I'm going to go cry myself to sleep. If IKEA does not have a like a line of bean bags and they're not called the jelly bags. The Swedish jelly bag. It's a missed opportunity. But you know what? I guarantee that not a lot of Swiss people even know about this. True. It has to be filled like Orbeez or something like that. It had to be like weird. It could just be a bean bag. And it could just be a bean bag or you can just make it out of that slime.
No, I'd hate that. If it busted open, that should make a mess everywhere. Well, no, you put like you put the slime in the core and then you get like a really thick, like, but malleable rubber to go around it. And then you have I think it'd be all right. All right. We'll look into this. Well, no, we won't. We don't need to look into this. I feel like the last two times you've come on, I've just absolutely bummed you out.
Like the one before this was fine. I genuinely like you can ask my mom. I don't like I have a texture thing. So you're saying that the men in the gala. You would take that over. Yeah. And any day, any day, really any day, because the men in the gala is really not going to come after me. But it's going to like the for the gel, the flying Swedish jelly bags are going to try and pull me into the ship. And I got to be honest, I don't want that in my life. No, no way.
I'm into a lot of things. I'm a pretty open minded guy. Yeah. Fuck that, Joe. Fuck that, Joe. Fair. I mean, yeah, it's it's bad. But I mean, at the same time, like, I bet they're kind of cute. No, they're not. They're just fucking Joe. If they weren't aggressive, I bet they'd be cute. It's just like this is not this is not a ditto. It could be. It's not. It is on face. We don't know.
But we do know because it's sad. But it reminds me, but just like it reminds me like every anime now that my wife watches something like I died and I'm reincarnated as a slime or I died and now I'm a slime farmer. So I just picture those slimes from those and it's cute. But I don't like that they were doing a midsummer dance while basically torturing these two men. Imagine this. What are they going to do with them? Do they eat them? They turn them into they dissolve them.
So I'm saying it's like a gelatinous cube from Dungeons and Dragons. That kind of thing. So like, let me ask this. They they grab them, right? And the other ones are dancing like, you know, like I'm sure they're not singing a song, but in my head, they're like, oh, like super fucked up fucking the dwarves in like Moria. Like it's just in my head is way more haunting, but the jellies are way cuter. Like the scenario is super fucked up, but just like really cute jellies.
It's you're just telling me that it's it's more so I don't even know. I lost my train of thought. Shit. All right. I had it and I lost it. I'm really sorry I bummed you out. But hey, it's done. It's over. That's the story. It's a good story, though. Come on. It's a great story. Punched a fight. You know what makes me feel bad is like Stig now is never going to look at his friend the same way because he left his friend. Yeah, I mean. It is fucked up Stig Bale.
He was like, see you later. Hans is getting like dissolved. I guarantee you that man lost at least an inch that day. But yeah, but again, at the same time, Nick, I'm sorry, but if you were getting eaten by a jelly bag, I'm fucking out. I'm dipping, man. I'm out. Oh, dude, same. Listen, I'll take care of the dogs. I'll go over for tea with Ali every day. I'm like, fuck that jail. Yeah, no, I get it. And honestly, at that point, fuck you. Fuck you, too. Fuck you. Fuck these jellies.
I'm out of here. Suck my dick. I'm out. All right. Like deuces. Tell the people what you got going on. If you want to plug your stuff, I know you got some shit going on. Yes. So our website is finally up. We have some watches for sale. We have some YouTube content out. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I checked out your YouTube channel. One of those fucking videos already got like 200 something thousand views or some shit like that. Yeah. It jumped up really quick.
You know, things are going good. So give us a follow at a limited time on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram at neovintage.nick or unlimitedtime.lsc. And you can see ridiculously niche watch memes, but it's super funny to people who like watch memes. Speaking of, you know who I found out is becoming a watchmaker. Watchmaker. Oh, he like makes repairs watches. Mutual friend. I have no idea. Tucker. Really? That seems like a job I could see. We've been talking about it for a few weeks.
He's been buying little pieces of machinery. So Tucker, thank you for keeping it alive. Oh, yeah. Keep it. Keep up the good work, buddy. Keep it on ticking. All right. Tic Toc. This should be his if he does a big opens a shop. That's a good watch repair. Oh, that's a great. It's a great one. I'm going to copyright it and sell it to him. So that way I get a little cut of that. Anyways, follow us on Instagram at Crypto Cocktail Twitter, Crypto Cocktail.
Follow us on Tick Tock, a Crypto Cocktail party. And I think that's everything I got to plug. Nicholas, Nicholas, Nicholas, Nicholas. Yes. I was going to say, do you want to say bye to everyone? Goodbye. Bye.