Find other great podcasts like this one at podmoth.network. Working can be such a drag, but it's a necessary evil. What better way to combat the woes of the working world than to commiserate with your fellow man. I'm Jay. And I'm Kay. And we're the hosts of Fuck My Work Life, a comedy podcast where we share people's stories from the workplace. Whether they're funny, weird, scary, or just plain messed up, they're always entertaining and may leave you thinking, you don't have it so bad after all.
Available on all major podcast platforms. Give us a listen. Your sanity may just depend on it. Hello everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I am your host Dave and I am joined once again by the beautiful, handsome mustache-io, no not mustache-io this time, bearded Nicholas Einzman. What's going on bud? Oh, you know, sweating my balls off in Philadelphia as one does.
Dude, it's a fucking nightmare here. I looked at the weather and it's like, oh, it's going to be 89 degrees today. And then I looked at the humidity and then the real feel quote unquote, whatever that is. It's like 97, so. Yeah. I've been running errands all morning. You do look a little, a little gliss. I am disheveled. I am honestly like, I left and I thought I'd have more than enough time to take a shower before I hopped on, you know. You could have. I mean, I didn't try mean to rush you.
Oh, no, no, it's fine. I like felt bad. And then I got into my house and it was still equally as hot because my ACs are struggling to, you know, keep my home cold. You know what I think it is, my house is the same way where downstairs it's like it's fine. It's comfortable. But upstairs it's like a goddamn fucking hot box up here. Yeah, it's a tinderbox up here. But I think what it is, you have cats, the tenant before us had cats.
Do you have central AC or is it like a. No, it's all it's all the old in in window units. We'll try cleaning the filters out. And then because I think I did. I think here the reason is that all the cat hair from the previous owners got lodged in the intakes and it's like preventing. I don't know, this is probably real fascinating radio for everyone. And you can to welcome to David Nick's cat hair talk.
I'm your host, Dave. Yeah. If anyone listening is, you know, like an HVAC, please for the love of God, please help us out. I'll give you beer. Just please help me help me. But no, you look good. You're not going to lie. This sweaty Nick with the shovels hair and a backwards hat. You you're looking pretty good today, but I'm not going to worry. I'm wearing a lacrosse penny because of how hot it is. And it's like the most breathable thing I own besides a Hawaiian T-shirt. Oh, I know. I know.
It's a good call. Right. But I mean, I've been wearing Hawaiian T-shirts for the past week and a half. And like, you know, they're all dirty and do laundry. Well, you know, I mean, they breathe. How dirty can they really get? I have no one to impress. It's fine. All right, Nicholas. Well, before we start, I want to say congratulations on being number one in Finland for the year. And for the comedy and improv section for your dad cast, that's a pretty good. I am still so.
I don't know if the word is befuddled. I guess is like the most comical way of saying it. We haven't put a new episode. Real quick. I don't want to like so when I was doing Bitter Hearts, we were number one in fucking where was it? Like a weird European country. And then I looked and we only had five listeners from that country. So is it one of those deals where just a small population now? That's the that's the crazy part is like I was looking at our Spotify analytics and we had like.
Most of our listens are from Finland. And I asked Mike if he knew anyone from like from Finland music now. So I have no idea who these people are. But yeah, we're awesome. Yeah, we're top 20 for comedy and improv, which is sick. And we haven't put out new episodes since May. What's even weirder is that it's a political podcast. So how you got comedy and improv is beyond me. I have no idea.
Go follow the dad cast exclamation point because there's another dad cast about being an actual father and neither of us are fathers. So I feel like that dad cast is probably fucking boring as fuck. I mean, well, Cool Parents is a podcast about shit and then neither of them are parents as far as I know, as far as they know, as far as they know. Justin, you are my father. Well, I'm glad we're talking about Scandinavian countries today because we're kind of me.
Well, let's just we're going to be talking about Copenhagen. Yeah. What do you what's that face for? Do you know what I'm talking about? I know there's ice cream from Copenhagen that I really like. I'm thinking of hog and us. The sun's really fucking with me, man. We're not talking about that, but we're going to be talking about today. I'll tell you what it is. We're talking about the Copenhagen devil. You familiar? No, no, I'm not.
OK, well, in this latest bit, Copenhagen devil Copenhagen was founded in the 10th century. Copenhagen was originally a Viking village, Viking fishing village in what is now modern day Gamal Strand, but even though Copenhagen started out as a humble fish market today, it is a diverse hub of culture, commerce, art and nightlife sitting on 70 70 square miles about twice the area of Manhattan and a population of one point four million people. The capital city of Den. Wait, no, hold on.
Yeah, no, this is the wrong Copenhagen. All right. So Copenhagen is a small Copenhagen is a small village in the town of Denmark in Lewis County, New York, between Watertown and Lowell and takes up a whopping one point one eight square mile area and boasts a population of just over 600, according to the 2020 census data. So that's my bad. That's very much a difference that I am so sorry. Yeah, you know, you led me on by saying Scandinavian.
I was like, oh, OK, cool, we're going to see like, you know, some Nordic mythology and now we're in New York. Yeah, no, we're not. We're just in that. We're just in New York.
Yeah. But fun fact about Watertown, one of the towns that it's this between Watertown is home to the famous Watertown Vortex, which is a spot in Thompson's Park that is said that the unlucky ones who walk through it will teleport you to another part of the park, make you disappear and then reappear or just make you disappear altogether. Some say it even sends you back or forward in time.
And get this old friend, CIA director Alan Dulles is a native of Watertown and the code name for Area 51 was once Watertown. Coincidence? Probably. I think not. I think it probably is. But none of that has anything to do with the story today. It was just the only interesting part of the area. So I had to include it. Yeah. Anyways, Copenhagen, New York. We're going to be going there talking about the devil. Are you ready? I guess so, Dave. I guess so. I'm not slightly let down.
But you know, in the words of my father, I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed. But that was pretty funny, though, right? It was pretty funny. All right. So Copenhagen, New York is where the story takes place. And that story goes that on the 22nd of May, 1900, two guys by the name of J.D. Dryden and Homer Ward were visiting a buddy of theirs, Charles Boye. I don't know how to pronounce his name, but I'm going to say boye at his farmhouse in Deer River.
After what I assume was a very uneventful visit by today's standards, probably just reading the farmer's almanac, eating pigs in a blanket while talking about the crop yields, the two men decided it was time to head out and start on their six mile journey back to Copenhagen. After saying their goodbyes, Dryden and Ward hopped onto the horse and buggy and headed out because it was 1900. The trip was short and usually mundane. It's six miles and you're on a horse and buggy.
I can't imagine it's riveting. You're just staring at a horse's ass for six miles while it occasionally shits in the road. It is what it is. They're just betting on how many times it shits during their. Right. You got to pass the time somehow. But not this trip. The shit got real weird, not like the horses shit, just in general. Did it eat something weird or? Sometime into the drive, Dryden noticed a large white thing inside of a fence. Not to be confused with the Alabama white thing.
Yeah, no, this is just they saw a large amorphous blob inside of a fence and piece of land just off to the side of the road. He stared at it for some time as they drove by when it finally dawned on him that what he was looking at appeared to be, quote, a gigantic animal at rest, unable to make out just kind like what kind of animal it could possibly be. He nudged Ward and was like, yo, yo, you see in this shit? The fuck is that? And Ward's like, yeah, I see a hold up.
So at this point, Ward decided I'm going to get a better look because this is this is what I thought Ward's inner monologue would be. And it's so Ward decided I'm going to get a better look because if I don't, I'm going to think about this all night. I won't be able to get it out of my head. I have to know what this thing is, kind of like when you have a song stuck in your head, but it's just like one part of a song and you have it like on repeat over and over and over in your head.
So you have to listen to the song to get it out of your head. See, I always it makes it mad. It makes it worse for me. That's just that's just what I'm assuming his reasoning was. You know what I mean? Yeah, so Ward stopped the horse and buggy, hopped off and climbed over the fence into the grassy lot as he slowly approached, not wanting to disturb the beast. He decided now he decided now that he wanted to pick up a rock and throw it at the massive sleeping monster. What can go wrong? Right.
Ward, let's just throw throw some rocks. Yeah. So to their surprise, but literally no one else's. The creature lunged up and hauled ass in the opposite direction at an incredible speed. They said it, quote, moved away for some distance, like a streak of lightning, end quote. And Ward even later claimed that in that moment, he felt, quote, a feeling similar to an electric shock and quote. But I mean, that feeling was probably just like pants shooting horror.
Yeah. Now, just to make sure I'm following here. So Ward's first name is Homer, right? Yeah. And the other one's JD, JD, I believe. Typical Homer fashion. Typical Homer. Just getting into shenanigans. I'm glad that name is dead to the 1900s. I don't know a single Homer and I'm glad I'm glad for it. I mean, the only other Homer I know is Homer Simpson. And this is a Homer move if I've ever heard one. It is a typical Homer behavior. Exactly. Oh, what's this? This is a terrifying monster.
Let me just pelt some rocks. Yeah. This is like the third story in a row that we've done that someone's thrown a rock at something because space penguins, they threw a rock. Yeah. And I don't know. It's you know, I guess if you if you're that scared or if you're just that big of an asshole, a rock is a good weapon. It all depends on how hard you can throw it. I mean, listen, they're not all they're not all varsity quarterbacks. That's fair. We don't have a Brett Favre on our hands here.
We have a home home or ward, which to be fair, does sound like a football player's name. And also, it's 1900. So it's probably like, all right, I will chat. What's this we got over here? Yeah. There in New York. I don't know why I'm going for a dish with it, but yeah, it's. What are you doing over there? Let me get this rock. I'm going to throw it at your fucking skull. But like I said, the electric shock feeling that he's feeling, like I said, probably he's probably just fucking terrified.
You know, when you're terrified, you get like goose pimples and fucking hair stands up. But that probably was probably what it was, which would explain his next move, which was to book it back to the horse and buggy and get home as fast as he fucking could. Because, yeah, I mean, that makes sense. Now, once safely back at the ward home, the pair were met by Nancy Klein, Ward's maybe lover or roommate or possible hostage.
I don't know the nature of their relationship, just that she lived there as well. It's the 1900s. It's all the same thing. It's like freshly 1900, right? Like true lover, wife and roommate. She can't vote. She can't vote her good. Good time is like going to the farm to like get out of the house from homers. Like I'm assuming abuse. Oh, well, we don't know that. Well, he did throw a rock at a fucking. Exactly. That was a he threw a rock at something he didn't understand.
His initial reaction was, I don't know what this is. Let's attack it. Throw a rock at it. Exactly. Well, after after Warden Dryden, Ward and Dryden told her of their encounter, she somehow managed to convince the men that they should return to where they spotted the creature. But this time, take her take her with with them because, you know, a woman's not a lot of the house, a lot of male escort back in 1900. So it makes sense.
So the three headed off into the night because it's night it's nighttime now, which is the perfect time to go hunting for a massive white demon monster. Let's go look for a monster in the middle of night in like 1900. And what I'm assuming is nothing but farmland. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's nothing but farmland. Yeah, they didn't they didn't have like the fucking guy going around with the giant matchstick to like light. Yes. You know, there's nothing there.
There's no guy telling you what hour it is on the hour. It's describing like 1900s England and not. I guess it was kind of the same pretty much, wasn't it? Yeah, we were only free for 100 and some odd years at that point. I mean, 130 years that point at the most, at the most. So like the fucking Civil War just ended not too long ago. They listen to New York, big time New York had that guy screaming, it's 11 o'clock. Oh, it's 1115. Not in Watertown.
I don't think it was on the quarter hours as well. That was a quarter hour. OK, they pay him by the quarter. So they went out with our arm, nothing more than just a fucking lantern. They didn't bring a gun, no sort of protection. They were just like, this will suffice. Did they bring a rock? No, but I mean, at this point, they're pretty much everywhere. He found one just walking up to us. I'm assuming he can find one again. He's armed to the teeth if it comes to ground rocks.
When it comes to granite, he has no unlimited, he has no unlimited supply. Exactly. But before they could even arrive at the spot where they had initially seen it, Klein heard what she described as a horrifying, quote, snort. Now, Nick, I want you to give me your best horrifying snort, please. That's actually pretty good. That's pretty good. I don't have one better, but I appreciate that. You look ashamed. You can thank tribute by tenacious D when I do that solo karaoke.
The group spun around and aimed their light in the direction of the ghastly exhale and spotted the beast in the middle of the road, standing upright on its haunches, kind of like a kind of like a cat. You know, a cat stands on its back legs. Yeah. Oh, or Naji does that all the time. It's that but terrifying.
Now, now able to get a good look at the devil, they described what many have pretty much described the sheep squatch to be the sheep squatch of West Virginia, a massive bear sized animal covered entirely in white for white. Oh my God. White fur, white floof, a tail, a tail that they described the trio described as being as thick around as a man's body, a long face, almost like that of a dog's with large, almost saber tooth tiger's teeth with a pair of horns protruding from the top of its head.
Now obviously terrified. The trio just kind of kept their light on the creature. I'm assuming because they're probably like frozen with fear because it's fucking terrifying. But luckily for them, the Copenhagen devil didn't seem to like being in the spotlight or having an audience. So it pretty much just fucked off. It bolted as fast as it could over a nearby fence and disappeared into the night, never to return to the small village again. And that is the sighting of the Copenhagen devil.
Not a long story, but a good story. I want to get your thoughts on this. We'll spend some time talking about what what you think. Yeah. I mean, it definitely sounds like the sheep man. I know I just completely butchered that cryptids name. Sheep Squatch. She's squashed. It definitely sounds like a sheep. Try saying that. Are you OK? I think you have heat stroke. I honestly think so. I can see the fucking sweat beating down my side. It sounds like a sheep. Sounds like a sheep. My first reaction.
And this is like typical, you know, you see something. We got to go right back and go look at what it is. Yeah. And you know, and it's the same thing with these one off creatures, especially like the Sasquatch esque cryptids. They run back out and they run out without a plan. Just like, what are you going to do? Right. Like my my first thought is an oh, I'm going to go back out there. There's like if I was still in Plymouth and I saw something like that, I wouldn't run back into the woods.
No, I would go back the next day when it's I don't know, like 12, it's high noon. Well, they they didn't see it in the woods. They I mean, I guess it's kind of farmlandy. So it would just be there on the road. Like they were walking along the road back to where they saw it. And they saw in the field. So it's not like they like they were like traversed, like fucking bushwhacking through like. Yeah, but still like it's still terrifying. I mean, like, yeah, it's terrifying.
We're in New York. It's terrifyingly dark and you don't have any form of protection, regardless of how good Homer is with, you know, a piece of rock. Dude, he gets a rock like it's no one's business, dude. OK, he's not Brett Farvee's Homer Ward. Again, it sounds like a quarterback name. Like that is the most quarterback name coming up next for the New York Jets. It's number three, Homer Yard. Yeah, I don't know. Like stuff like this, I'm very, very skeptical of.
And it's not because I don't typically believe in things like this, right. It's more so because there's only there's only three accounts, right. And it's the three accounts of the same bigger encounter. Well, it's also weird about as you said that you were talking about before is that the one off sightings when people see it, then they go back to the area where they first saw it. They usually never see it.
Never see it exactly like the flatwoods monster, like the Grafton monster or like the Dover Demon. Like they'll see it. And then like a few are or even like the Loveland Frog Man, like they'll see it. They'll go tell someone and then they'll immediately go back. It's usually already gone by then. It's not right. It's not typical that they would be just right in the area that they saw it. Yeah, I mean, look at like look at some of the bigger name cryptids. I mean, think of like Mothman, right.
He was no or it was known to be seen around the TNT area. Like the people would go and it multiple he were reported seeing it there. Right. There's multiple reports of, you know, Sasquatch or Sasquay, whatever you want to call them for plural. I guess Sasquatch. I'm going to say I like Sasquay. That's good. We're going to coin that here on Cryptid Cocktail. Sasquay is now the official plural term.
Sounds like if you turned Bigfoot into like a cute anime character, it's like Kawaii, like like Sasquay. Like a Mawaii. Yeah, yeah, you can't feed a Sasquatch after, you know, 10 o'clock. Well, that's because Sasquatch is an invasive species. And if you keep feeding them, they're going to keep coming and then they're going to reproduce like deer or a raccoon. They're not sturgeon. I mean, we don't know. But yeah, you're right about the one-offs, right?
Like people that run back out to go see the Loveland Frogmen or, you know, like the Flatwoods Monsters like that, like they're not seeing it in the same area, like especially the same exact location. Yeah, no. Like especially an hour later, like that thing's fucked off in the woods by now. And I don't know how far into the trip they saw the thing. It's six miles, but they're going by horse and buggy. You know what I mean?
So, I mean, there's a good chance they saw it like as soon as they were leaving their friend's farmhouse. And then I don't know how long it takes for a horse and buggy to get back to six miles. I mean, if that's the case, that's terrifying if they like left Ward's house. Because they didn't get back to the spot where they saw it. They were just they were still walking on the road. So it's in the general area. I mean, still, though, like. But I mean, like it's fast as fuck.
But I mean, if it is just passing through, kind of like how people think that Dover Demon was just kind of like moseying along. You know what I mean? Yeah, before it got to the Bridgewater Triangle and all that fun stuff. Yeah, that's what everybody I mean. So but they were saying like, what I'm thinking is maybe they saw it as soon as they left, like not too far. But like I said, I don't know how far one horse on a buggy can go. It's one horsepower.
I mean, I'm sure they were I mean, a horse can get you pretty quick. Far pretty quick. Yeah, but I'm sure they weren't fucking like gallivant. They weren't. No, they weren't booking it. I mean, the horse, if anything, I could walk as fast as a horse walks. I've been to parades. You can follow a horse along a parade route. Like, I'm sure they weren't going full bore.
No. So, I mean, if they saw it at the beginning of the six mile journey, I mean, they saw at the beginning of the six mile journey, went to the house, talked for a bit, then went back out and they saw it closer to Ward's house. Maybe it is maybe the Copenhagen Devil was just kind of like working its way through the area, not in any rush. I mean, my question immediately right there, to your point, if it was closer to the house, was it just following them? Because that's terrifying.
Maybe it's following the road. Path of Lisa Resistance, if something's traveling like I mean, animals use trails like if they see a quote unquote like game trail to them, they see to see like a easily accessible. Yeah, easily traversed land. I don't know. But I mean, like so what I had. So I wrote down my thoughts because I know that I would forget them halfway through.
Like I said, it does have the appearance and the makings of a sheep squash, which makes you think that it probably might have been and it was just passing through. I mean, like look at they look at the bass, watch like that's mostly like a northwestern Mount St. Helens area type of thing. But they haven't spotted randomly all over again here in P.A. They haven't spotted. So I mean, if we're going off that, it could just be like a traveling through thing.
Or if we're going to go like the theory that like Bigfoot and all of its like. Sub species of or of like ET origin or like extra dimensional type thing. Maybe just like maybe it's got like dropped off in the wrong area or like it crossed over from bad travel planning is what I'm saying. They should have used it needs to hire a new travel agent, needs to hire progressive price line. They should have used trip hobo dot com is what they should be. The unofficial sponsor of Cryptid Cocktail.
They should already trip. Trip hobo dot com is that's where they fucked up. Trip Hobo dot com, the place where you get all of your roadside attractions. Like not one, but two different churches, one, two, three different churches. One of them is Baptist. The other one is Lutheran. I tried looking up like, like I said, the only interesting thing in this area was the the Watertown thing. The other thing is that there was a a campground slash bar slash restaurant called like Tuggers.
And that was the only other. Called Tuggers or Tuggers. Tuggers. A little interesting. I mean, not going to lie. Interesting name. But anyways, I'd go there with you. You just caught up on Tuggers, aren't you? Well no, what I'm curious about is the Watertown Vortex. I mean, if it's a if they said it's almost like a portal and you just kind of go wherever it could be. I mean, it could be kind of like maybe a Bridgewater Triangle. It could have been like a flap kind of thing. Like I don't know.
I don't know if there's like like UFO sightings a lot in this area or if there's like other otherworldly beasts that they've seen. This is the only thing I know about this area is that there's a devil and a in a fucking vortex. Do we know what county of New York this is in? Yes, we do. Let me just go back into my notes real quick. I'm wondering if it's Lewis County, New York. It's like it's upstate New York. It's up up there. OK, so it's nowhere near like the Hudson Valley.
No, no, this is like upstate New York, like not far from Canada. You are OK. It was just Canadian. Who knows? These guys are weird. It was just like it's just like a like a like a native Canadian, just like in like seal fur, just like trying to get home. Yeah, he's just like he got lost, walked a little too far, probably had some, you know, some booze, went to Tugger's.
But no, I mean, to get us back on track, I mean, I definitely think that, you know, it's possible there has been multiple sheep squads reporting across the country. I don't know any of, you know, this far back. I don't think the most notable one was not until the 60s, right? It was kind of later. It's like a West Virginia thing. Yeah. Absolutely, but I mean, again, I don't know, like you said, like. I think hundreds is a weird time.
I think I don't I feel like most of these sightings to happen way earlier, like Ozark Howler, like way back in the day, or they're more recent. So to have one's like smack dab in the middle is kind of weird. You know, you know, who's not going to figure this out today? Us exactly. All right, champion. Well, that's the story of the Copenhagen Devil. Well, I still believe it's probably a sheep squash that was just wandering through or maybe, like I said, it got dropped off in the wrong area.
It was like, fuck, dude, now I got to fucking go all the way to West Virginia. You know, that's my stomping grounds. I know we got to go to West Virginia. Yeah. Yeah, I know. We'll get there eventually. Well, we got it. Excuse me. We need to go see the Mothman statue. We got to go to Point Pleasant. We got to go to Flatwoods. We got to do all that stuff when there's like the Mothman festival and shit like that. Well, yeah, we also got to go to Clifton Road.
We need to do an episode on Clifton Roads. Oh, Clinton Road in New Jersey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, in the old Jersey. I went there and I got chased by I got chased by the the ghost truck. I'm pretty sure it was just a bunch of KKK members. That's a whole lot of story. All right. Well, everyone, thank you so much for listening. Make sure you give us a follow on Instagram and Twitter at Cryptic Cocktail. Follow me on TikTok at Cryptic Cocktail Party.
If you want to donate to the show, help fund me getting beer for the show. That'd be great. And also, Nicholas, number one in Finland. I don't know if you're number one. I keep saying number one, but in my heart, you are number one in Finland. Appreciate you. You got to hit the plug. Plug your shit. Yeah. So we're bringing back the dead cast. Next episode will be out this Friday. So Friday, the I don't have a calendar in front of me. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Well, this is going to be this is going to come out Sunday night. So five days from Sunday. So it'll be July 21st. So the dead cast, Dave and I will be at Squonka Palooza. Well, yeah, sure. We're going to be at Squonka Palooza. I'm very excited about that. That is in August. I'll make sure to post about that. But also some fun things. I might have some merch there. I mean, you're going to have some flyers made up.
Squonka Palooza flyers made up by the one and only Grim Grim Grim of Philadelphia fame. And then also I might have some prints made of the original. Sorry, are you laughing at the fact that I'm just like glistening? No, I'm laughing at the fact that how ridiculous this is. I'm going to have prints made of the original flyer that Heaven's Gate made. Oh, no. And posted around town to have people join their weird UFO cult. And then I'll probably have some other bullshit like stickers.
And then I do have someone working on some trading card designs that might be there in time for Squonka Palooza. And then, you know, who knows? But just definitely come check us out. Well, I'm going to try and do some recordings while we're there. Nick's going to be with me. My wife might be with me. I don't know yet, but it'll be a good time all around. So definitely, definitely check it out.
Also, I found out there's a there is a ghost in Johnstown where Squonka Palooza takes place, but it's not of a human of a headless cow. So there's that. But anyways, not a headless moomo. Yeah, don't don't worry about it. Anyway, thanks for listening, everyone. I know this was a well, now it's not shorter than normal episode. It's roughly the same length of the regular episode. But I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you, Nicholas, for coming on.
And do you want to say goodbye to the wonderful listeners? Goodbye, good night and good day. Oh, I thought you're going to go to show with it. I couldn't remember the entire, you know, good morning. But it gives it's good morning. And if I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening and good night.