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Welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive in the unknown. I'm your host Dave and today I'm joined by... I was trying to come up with something quippy but I couldn't. I'm joined by Luke Ferry once again everyone. Hello Luke Ferry. Hello Dave. How are you? My brain is on fire, my body is slowly, like systematically shutting down. You know what? I'll take it from here then.
This is Admiral Byrd and the Hollow Earth part three backtracking. Yeah. A few things came to our realization. Yeah. We discovered some stuff. We may or may not have been accidentally promoting Nazi propaganda but we don't... I mean that's maybe... Maybe not. All good conspiracy theories do end up becoming mildly anti-Semitic at some point. This one technically isn't... Oh is it only the good ones? You don't like the other ones? Yeah, only the good ones.
I can realize how that sounded as soon as I said it. Whoopsie daisy. No, but this... I mean I don't think it's... I don't know. We'll get into it but anyways, Luke how you doing buddy? Episode four, Dave leaves the show. Well you're looking good. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad we can do this part three. It's gonna be a slog because I am hungover as all fuck but we did it. There can't be that much more. There's not much more. It just gets silly. Oh and now it gets silly. Well I mean it's sillier.
Okay. Do you remember where we last left off with Admiral Byrd and everything? He awkwardly bowed to the master after the master said our flooble gravels got attacked so now you have to go to the Pentagon. Yeah pretty much. So where we last left off, this is for anyone who's jumping into part three and didn't listen to part one and two for some reason but... What's wrong with you? People do it.
But so where we last left off in Admiral Byrd's story, he had finally arrived in the crystal city of Ariana. Spoiler alert. Inside of... I'm gonna... So I came to this realization before Dave. You knew a person from like Ariana. Yeah. Maybe like what would they be called? Like I'm from America. I'm an American. Ariana... Are... Areanians? It's the Aryans, Dave. I don't see how... I don't see the connection. You don't? No. No? Not even a little bit. So, blonde, blue haired people from Ariana.
Wouldn't it be called the Aryans? We fucked up, Dave. Actually, no, you did. You're the host. I just show up. I think we're reading too much into it. But anyway, all right. So we'll get to it Luke. Hold on. So where we last left off, Admiral Byrd, he finally arrived in the crystal city of Ariana inside of Hollow Earth where he had an audience with the one known as the Master. The Master tasked Admiral Byrd with a turning to the surface world that wants to deliver a dire message.
Give up on atomic energy and any armaments or face a certain extinction of mankind. So that's where we left off. He awkwardly bows and leaves the room. German and Japanese propaganda. What, we have a nuke? Don't use that. So, after hearing one of the most... Don't trust this Oppenheimer, dude. I don't know.
So after hearing one of the most metal of monologues delivered by the Master, Byrd was escorted back to the elevator by the two white blondes, almost certainly Nazi men, who have been pretty much his chaperones the whole time he's been in the city. When one of them said, we must now make haste, Admiral, as the Master desires to delay you no longer on your scheduled timetable and you must return with this message to your race. I hope he means the human race.
You fucking Mick. So, Byrd says that he didn't say anything as he was still trying to make sense of like, what the fuck is going on? He's had a big day. He's had a day. It's been a day. Yeah, it's been a day. So once the elevator stopped, they quickly head back to grab Byrd's radioman, who I learned is named Howie. So that's fun. Depending on what Howie does in the rest of these antics. Maybe it's fun. Maybe it's like, now I'm scared of people named Howie. We'll find out.
Howie does not play a big role in the story. No one named Howie plays a big role in any story. That's fair. Once everyone was accounted for and ready to go, they hop back on the moving sidewalk slash hovering platform. I don't know where we landed on that. I'm going to say it's a moving sidewalk, but yeah, so they hop on the moving sidewalk. I like that best. And soon we're back at their plane where they boarded immediately.
Byrd's in a hurry because now he's got an important message to deliver and Howie's in a hurry because he has no idea what the fuck is going on. Like at this point, he didn't get a synopsis. Like, hey, no, like just no one could go into the little holding room that he was in and just be like, so yeah, you're player B. Obviously you're Howie. But this is what is going on over there. They're going to have a conversation. You can fill you in later.
Like you want some cookies and it's like, nah, fuck them. No. Yeah. Like you can put him in a camp where you can like concentrate for a bit. At this point, he doesn't know what happened to Byrd or what he did when he left the room. So this dude must be panicking. Like Byrd leaves him alone for like a bunch of time. And then when he comes back, he's like, Howie, we got to go now. The tall white Nazis are like, you guys get to get out of here now.
So Howie probably thinks they're like, they're about to get like fucking stabbed or something. Like everyone's just like, Howie, we got to go. Like, so he's probably just sheer terror. No idea what's going on. I read in his diary when they when they start flying, Byrd's like, Howie hasn't said a word. He's like, well, yeah, because you haven't told him what the fuck is going on. He's he doesn't even know if you're Admiral Byrd, you could have been a fucking replicant or something like that.
You're in a crystal city. What technology do they have? You know? Yeah, they've moving sidewalks. They can obviously make a replica. Yeah. In 1947, that's the height of technology. Also, I learned a fun fact about moving sidewalks. They were introduced in the at the Chicago World's Fair the same time that H.H. Holmes was running his murder castle. That's how he did it. You could get around that. That murder castle had moving sidewalks in there. It's like that's where you can never get an alibi.
It was like, well, I walked there, right? How did I get there at nine miles an hour? That's absurd. Is it the top rate of a moving sidle? I feel like that's too fast. Yeah, but if you like hustle. That's fair. Yeah. If you're standing on a moving sidewalk, first up, I hate you. Yeah, that's like standing on an escalator. Like go up. Go up them. You still go. Yeah. Anyways, yeah. H.H. Holmes didn't have grease shoots from the attic to the basement.
It was actually a moving sidewalk that slowly just circled the inside of the building. Well, no, it was it was shoots and ladders. That's what it's based on. But anyway, so they board the plane. We're so far off now. They board the plane and close the cargo doors and prepare for takeoff, which in this case just means like sitting down because the engines were already on.
And just like when they arrived, that unseen force, quote unquote, that landed them also then shot them twenty seven hundred feet into the air. So yeah, they didn't really do much to prepare. Bird said his instruments aren't registering any airspeed, but they're moving at a very rapid rate. So not only did they launch them super high into the air, they also made them go super fucking fast. I don't know, like the G forces on your body must have been like shooting.
Yes, that would like to give you like the bends in air. Like I don't know what that's can you determine is. But like if you go up too fast and depressurize, like they're having a bad time. No wonder how he's like not feeling great. Well, so they said twenty seven hundred feet in the air. They're still underground. So that's like negative fourteen hundred feet in the air. They're not even at sea level. How like that's still how like pressure works. That's fine. There's no pressure.
There's a big hole that leads to the actual world. Oh, yeah, you're right. So so Bird said that his instruments aren't registering any airspeed. But fun fact, they also have an air escort guiding them on their return trip to the surface world. Two of those awesome swastika and blaze and flugel rads. Now, after doing some research that I probably should have done to begin with, I found something out about the flugel rads.
The flugel rad was an actual experimental flying machine made by, you guessed it, the Nazis. But it was also in conjunction with everyone's favorite luxury car brand BMW. And wouldn't you know it, it looks suspiciously like a flying saucer. So that's fun. And what comes next isn't going to help with our assumptions that they're the underground people are probably most likely maybe Nazis any better because they just are.
Bird wrote in his flight log that at two fifteen a.m., a message comes through the radio saying, quote, we're leaving you now, Admiral. Your controls are free. I'll be the Zen and then the flugel. I like it when I write these scripts, I try. I like to keep some mystery behind it. So I only read the like when we first started this, I only read the first third of the journal, wrote a script about that, read this, the second third of the journal, wrote a script about that.
And then it was all coming in to this last two pair. This is all based off like two paragraphs of his journal and it just gets real bad. Yeah. So new rule for Dave. But he is the heat. You are allowed to do that with cryptids. But not conspiracy theories. No. Fair enough. But I mean, nothing's hasn't been nothing's been overtly anti-semitic. If we think like I was re-listening to episode of one, I was like, Jesus Christ, it's the Aryans and we just weren't astute enough to notice.
No, because there's two Rs. So you know, maybe. Oh, OK, never mind. Yes, it's totally different. I know there's two ends. There's one hour. Fuck, I don't know, man. All right. So forty five minutes pass. And after radioing base camp to let them know they're alive and that, quote, all conditions are normal, whatever the fuck that means. How he hasn't spoken in a while. No, it's not. Yeah. The radio man. I'm not talking. How is how is catatonic?
I think we need to do something about how we like fill him in. But anyways, they land at camp and Bird's real mission begins. That is the telling of humanity about the coming dark age or whatever. And what better place to do that than the fucking Pentagon? So go big or go home. So where are we at right now? Not Nazi symbolism aside, where are we at with the story so far, Luke? It's not a sentence you should say. It's never a sentence I thought I would have to say, but we're too far into it now.
We have to go. We have to finish it. Yeah, I know. Oh, I'm embarrassed for myself. It's fine. It's fine. It's good. No, it. Yeah, it just kind of tracks the same way it's been tracking. Yeah, of course, no one named how it gets told anything. And the Nazis are like, hey, please don't use the nuclear arms that you have. Because we got plans and it's going to really fuck it up.
No. So if this is like a weird Nazi propaganda thing, it doesn't make any sense because they said they've been around for thousands of years. Are they trying to say that this is like where the Aryan race came from? Is that what they might be living to? I don't know enough about Nazi ideology. I don't know a ton of shit about Nazi ideology because my life has value and it would be a bad thing if I died. Obviously. But I do know things about random classes of aliens and other random species.
Yeah, we have the tall whites, right? Yeah. So there was a species called the Aryans. And they were they were described as perfectly white, but not like us, which are fucking peach colored. They look like the moon. Yeah. And in all those scripts that like the Vril society got super into and they're like, oh, we have to like harness the power for the white race, which we're not a part of. Also peach.
Fair. And like there's like staffs of power and shit like there's like a D&D campaign with real lives. And but there was like this white race that the Nazis and Hitler based the concept off of like this is the perfect person. So it was an alien race called the Aryans. They don't ever say what race they are under under the earth. So they could maybe Ariani is the birthplace of the Aryans. There I think I've read different things. Some is from space. One was from the moon.
There's inside the earth. But it's an old thing that goes back super far. David Bowie sings about it a bunch. Yeah. So maybe he just maybe he just knows the story. Maybe he knows it. Yeah, he's deep, deep in it. Station to station is just like, hey, have you read a bunch of ancient magic? Cool. Maybe I'll understand these lyrics. So on March 11th, 1947, Bird supposedly attends a meeting at the Pentagon. This is now this is almost a month after his meeting with the master.
So not real time to turn in your homework, David. But oh, did you not complete the homework? Oh, no, I did not. I did not get a FOIA request because I put one in. No, I don't know how to. But also, I'm going to go on a limb and say that this didn't happen because. So this is a month after he had a meeting with these clearly not in any rush. It seems stopping nuclear apocalypse. You just like, you know, people move at their own pace. Who am I to judge? Right.
You know, sit on that info for a month. The dishes got to be piled up. Yeah. So in this meeting, excuse me, in this meeting, Bird says that he detailed his discovery of the underworld city of Ariane from its beautiful crystal buildings, its delicious warm brown liquids all the way to its otherworldly moving sidewalks with no mention of the master's message. Or choose. Yeah, I'm just talking with you.
He definitely tells him about the master's grand message and how we need to start doing better as a species or we're just going to nuke ourselves to death and that as fellow humans, the Pentagon would also be affected by that as they are part of that human race. Bird said that his meeting was recorded and that the president had been advised of everything that transpired. So went right straight up to the top. Big ol' Harry S. Truman himself heard about this. Possibly. So what happens next?
I want you to guess what happens next. Fuck all. Yeah. Bird is then detained for the next six and a half hours being just grilled by top security forces, generals and a medical team because they probably think he's fucking insane. He just he's like, I got to talk to the president. Aliens are inside the earth. And there's like, all these drugs were for MK Ultra. How did you get them? It turns out this was just an MK Ultra experiment.
They just gave him a bunch of ass and he just hallucinated all of this. Oh, man, that would be great. That'd be amazing. But anyways, the only thing Bird had to say about all of this happening is that, quote, it was an ordeal. End quote. The resolve on this man. I got kidnapped by a subterranean race and it's like, how did that make you feel? Do you kind of burn out? It might take Friday off. You have to use some of those accrued sick days.
You then goes on to say that he's placed under very strict control due to the national security provisions put in place by the U.S. government and that he was ordered to remain silent about everything he has learned, seen and heard. Obviously not stoked on it. Bird's like, oh, man, like the world needs to know about this or we're doomed. And they're just like, buddy, chill. So then he is like, we're the Pentagon. We know we're doomed. We did it.
Yeah. You don't think we have CIA assets in Ariana, bro? We've been there for years now. Two of those blonde guys was just Jeff. Jeff just leaves up from the cubicle. Hey, Andrew, how's it going? Remember me? Jeff. But yeah, so there's like, dude, calm down. He's been reminded reminded that he is a military man after all, and he must obey orders.
So you know, someone not standing up for what's right and by not doing something that it will only lead to others being hurt because they were following orders. I don't know where I've heard that before. Merrick. Well, if you're wondering if you followed those about how we yes, I actually am because that how we does not come back up one time. He's in a padded cell somewhere. 100 percent dead.
He went home to his wife, was crying to her like all of a sudden to black ops came put burlap sacks over their head, dragged him out, never to be seen again. He's in he's in a hole in the desert somewhere. Yeah. Like, I hope the brown liquid was they couldn't do it to. Admiral Bird because he's an admiral. People would notice if he was gone, how is just a radio man. They could take him out easily. I bet if I like saw someone named how we die, I just like it would just unfaith me.
I go, OK, except for how I'm and I'll mention a treasure. Of course. But if you're wondering not about how we but if he followed those orders, he did. He kept quiet for nine years. His journal ends here with except for one last entry dated December 1956. Again, this is nine years after his meeting. Full circle going back to episode one. He finds out about where the vagina is located. Back to Anne Frank's diary. Everything comes in cycles. It's full.
You know, what's weird is that we're talking about Anne Frank between the legs. We were talking about Anne Frank on that episode one. And then I started watching season two of American Horror Story again. And Frank comes up and then I was listening to another podcast and Frank is like, as soon as you said it, the world just needed to be needed me to hear that name a million times. That's how it goes. It's wild. But my dialogue is sponsored by like suggested ads.
It's just like Google search history. You just use all those cookies and then that's what you say. Also, you look thirsty. You want some liquid death? Are you just got to have a look? So in 1956, December, Bird writes in his journal one last time. And I'm just going to read you what he wrote verbatim. He wrote, these last few years elapsed since 1947 have not been kind. I now know my final entry and I now make my final entry in the singular diary.
In closing, I must state that I have faithfully kept this matter secret as directed all these years. It has been completely against my values of moral rights. Now I seem to sense the long night coming on and this secret will not die with me. But as all truth shall, it will triumph it. And so it shall. It will try. I don't know. That doesn't make any sense. I'm convinced this is not really it will triumph overall. Yeah. Now, so he goes on to say this, this can be the only hope for mankind.
I have seen the truth and it has quickened my spirit and has set me free. I have done my duty toward the monstrous military, industrial, military, industrial complex. Now the long night begins to approach, but there shall be no end. Just as the long night of the Arctic ends, the brilliant sunshine of truth shall come again. And those who are of darkness shall fall in its light. For I have seen that land beyond the pole, the center of the great unknown. And then he died three months later.
He actually died on so much cooler if he only used the long night once. But it's like he thought of something cool and was just like, I'm just going to keep going with that. But he he actually died on March 11th, 1957, which was 10 years to the day that he had his meeting at the Pentagon. So coincidence, probably he was old as fuck. But yeah, so that's the the unfortunate story of Admiral Byrd and Hollow Earth. It kind of got away from us there. But that's it from you.
No, you didn't see it coming. I found it. I saw it first. Yeah, that's fair. But yeah, so the what did you think? The only bit of credence I can give it is someone seeing something paranormal or of some sort. Telling everyone about it, them just being like, fuck yourself and then having a bad life for the rest of their life and die. Yeah. So that's the only thing that tracks with like standard UFO shit. Yeah. But I also I did find the rest of it sounds like Nazi propaganda.
Yeah, but I don't know why. Like where like if he wrote this, he was a World War Two. Like he got like Purple Hearts and that medal of that like valor. Like so clearly he wouldn't have written this. He was the one fucking bombing Nazis all day. What year is this? This diary, quote unquote, was written in 1947 or 46, a little bit after Operation Paperclip. Where is he born? He was born in he was born in Winchester, Virginia in 1888. Nazi. And then he but he died in Boston, Massachusetts.
That doesn't help either. Fuck. No, not at all. But I did. I did find out something about him. So he was technically I think like the he's one of the first people to ever fly over the North Pole in 1926. OK, so it did actually kind of make sense that he didn't realize why his tools were wonky. But it came to light that he may have faked his his flight records and the log. Someone so he did have a diary like in. So how he snitched.
Well, I don't know because Bird's diary was actually published and released. This shit I don't think was actually in it. I think someone added this to it. This is just a conspiracy thing. But in the diary, the date, May 9th, 1926, the flight revealed, erased, but then written over like I don't know what they're called, like degrees and coordinates like that. And the original ones don't match the ones that he wrote over.
So they think that he just wanted to say he did it, but then had to turn back before he could actually do it. So so he's I feel like that's a stretch. He might be a liar. Like, he's definitely a liar. I don't know if it's about that. He also attempted to be the first person to fly. He was the first transatlantic flight, but then he didn't do it. And then Lindbergh was like, no, fuck you. I'm going to do it. And then he did instead. So, yeah, those things by getting eaten by coconut crabs.
So take the W. Oh, shit. All right, Luke. Well, that was the story of Admiral Byrd and Hollow Earth. I mean, it was still fun. It was still a fun. So fun. The Masters made me feel dirty. But the monsters, the monsters, the monsters, the monsters, the Nazis. You can call the monsters. The Masters monologue was pretty metal. I had a fun time with that one. It was pretty good. No, no, it was metal. It was pretty good.
All the time you like involve a flower when like a singular flower and while talking about like the apocalypse. Yeah, it just makes it just the death of beauty. And I was like, oh, that's awesome. Definitely good imagery. Yeah, I'll give it to you. See that one last rose wilt and fucking nuclear hellfire. Like, yeah, I'll give them. I'll give the master this. He has a way with words. Or I guess technically, whoever wrote this fake nonsense has a way with words.
Which I want to say it would be Admiral Byrd, but he also doesn't seem like he has a way with words at all. No, because sometimes he like maybe he's dumbing himself down to be like, of course, someone smarter than me wrote this because the rest of this is me babbling like an idiot. But also he's got to have the memory like like a steel trap to remember that whole fucking soliloquy and then write it down. I don't remember people's names when I meet them. So yeah, that would be.
Way beyond my comprehension. Right. It's wild. It's like bad things. Don't do it. Fuck, dude. I'm not going to say we messed up. I still think it was a good series. It definitely took a turn that on series. But I think we should be able to preface things with hey, hey, there might be Nazis. Well, we have conspiracy theories get out of hand. We did preface in the first episode that this might be possibly maybe. Nazis, we just confirmed it in this one. Yeah, true.
So, you know, the the warning signs were there. We just had fucking blinders on. Yeah, I'm trying to look at like other experiences and like cryptic concepts with the mammoths and just completely get that one. Yeah, you know, because we try to see the good things. All right, Luke. Yeah, that's like me driving down the highway and like there's like a Proud Boy demonstration, but I'm on Cryptopedia like looking up some weird like like the axe handle hound.
It's like there's no Nazis in New Hampshire. Yeah, no, I don't even know. Fine. OK, so I think next week what we're going to do actually next week about next week, I will not be able to record next week because I will be in Johnstown, Pennsylvania for Squonka Palooza. Yeah, that should be fun. So if anyone wants to join that, that is August 26th at the Central Park in Johnstown, Pennsylvania Squonka Palooza. It's going to be fun. I'm going to have a table set up there.
I'm going to be recording some shit while there. I don't really have anything to sell or anything. I'm just going to have a table with me recording while it's going on, but it should be a fun time. I'm going to have a good time with it. But yeah, and for my depressed friends out there, if you just go there and cry, you can call a cosplay. Yeah, that's that's there you go. Squonk, sad but rad, baby.
Yeah, no, I think next I think next episode, what we'll do is you wanted to do Hollow Moon to try and maybe brighten this up a bit. Oh, no, we're not doing Hollow Moon. Oh, no. Oh, no. Moon tunnel. Moon tunnel. All right. All right. Yeah, that just more weird. Decisively less Nazis. No, wasn't someone fleeing? Were they fleeing the Nazis or something like that? That's why they're in the cave. Yeah, I think you're right. These are not these are the bad guys in this one.
Not the not the cool dudes with the advanced civilization who's like, no, don't use the nuke. That's fair enough. All right. Don't end the war. Follow us at Crypto Cocktail on Instagram. Follow us at Crypto Cocktail on Twitter. Crypto Cocktail party on TikTok. That's it. Follow Luke on Instagram. Spring Heeled Luke. If you want to see pictures of his kitty and actually, I don't even know why I didn't do this before. The Wicked Folk on Instagram was a folklore and cryptid Instagram I made.
Now that I'm doing this again, I think I'm going to revive it. So go forward. Is it fun stories? The Wicked Folk, the Wicked Folk. All right. You heard it here first, folks. Wicked folks. All right. Luke, do you want to say a say goodbye? Auf Wiedersehen, Dave.