You are now listening to Cryptid Cocktail Party. Hey, happy Easter, everyone. Welcome back to another... Oh, I guess it's not going to be out on Easter. It'll be out... It'll be the day after, but that's a holiday here in Massachusetts, so... Oh, well... Happy Patriots Day, motherfuckers. Jesus Christ. Sorry. Oh, was it... Wait, Patriots Day. Is that the Boston bombing holiday? Well, I mean, we try not to associate the bombing with it, but yes, that's what happened. How could
you not? Anyways, we'll get to that in a second. Welcome back to another episode. Welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I'm your host, Dave, joined as always by Sarge, my muse, my love. Your PTSD -laden co -host. Yeah, we're recording this on Easter. That's why I got a little carried away, got a little amped, you know? Yeah. Who wouldn't celebrate? The only
historical story of a zombie. True. But also, I mean, Christ died. He was put in a tomb. And then for three days, he just chilled out. And then he goes like, JK, LOL. Exactly. And then bunnies started laying eggs. Yeah, so he didn't die for our sins. He gave up a long weekend for our sins. It was a three -day weekend. He's like, fuck, dude. I need to just chill. I need a break. Yeah. I do have one question, though. I don't know shit about the Bible or God or Jesus. I
got your back. I used to be a Sunday school teacher. So he died. And then three days later, he was resurrected. And then what? Did he just live out the rest of his life? Or did he just... No, no, no. He just fucked off after that. He's like, I'll be back. To where? And then didn't come back. He went up to heaven. Yeah, but his physical body went? Is that a thing? I thought only your soul went. Yeah. Look, reports vary. Some believe he became the Holy Spirit. Others believe. What
happened to his physical body? He was dead. His body was dead, but he came back as a ghost. Oh, so he wasn't resurrected. He haunted them. Yeah, basically. But he's like, I'm going to come back eventually. But then where did his body go? Because they opened the tomb like, oh, shit. The only thing here is the Shroud of Turin. And then he like walked around for a bit and then he fucked off. But he didn't walk around because. Well, see, this is where reports vary. OK, so the Mormons
believe that he came to the United States. This is true. The Jehovah Witnesses believe that he was crucified on a stick, not a lowercase t. How would that even work? I don't know, man. This is all nonsense to me. I just repeated what I read. So I think the prevailing belief is that he physically came back to life. Went around and popped up behind his buddies and was like, surprise! And he's like, all right, I'm going to go away and you won't see me again until the
end of the world. Okay. So then his physical body went to heaven? He extricated himself northward to the skies. I don't think you can do that. I guess that's what the rapture is. No, but that's probably why atheism is becoming more and more prevalent because everyone was like, wait a minute. If the Ark didn't get you. and the talking donkey didn't get you. Yeah. The fact that he came back to life after being brutally murdered by the
Romans. Yeah. And them. And then... My best friend is Jewish, and he and I had this whole inside joke. about all the things that he's got planned that he won't tell me about because I'm a goyim. I mean, well, they're always scheming something. Yeah. You know? I bought him a space laser t -shirt. It would have been great if you just ended it before the word t -shirt. Just present him with this. He's like, I already got one. Well, I'm glad that we've introduced our audience
to Christianity. The Christian cocktail party has come full circle. It really has. Welcome to the team. Yeah. All right, Sarge. Studying Jesus and other cryptids. So you say that we're both having a pretty good Easter. I think so. We're going to skip on all the niceties. We have a lot to go over this episode, Sarge. This is a doozy. I mean, now we're going to skip the niceties. We had like five minutes of lore about Jesus. Yeah, that's fine. Today we're going to
be covering Mark Richards part two. Do you remember where we were last episode? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We went through. This man was like the Forrest Gump of conspiracy theories. Yeah, he's done it all. And he was always the hero. Yeah. Right. Of course. Like you do. Yeah, but like I mentioned at the end of the last episode, it was all nonsense. There was no starships, no raptor princes, which is probably the most upsetting part of the whole thing, and no Minerva, which is also kind of
upsetting. I think that's why I got so angry, because I knew it wasn't real, and I was like, God damn it. I want this so bad. I want a spaceship
that is alive. Yeah. uh and again i still 100 firmly believe that he fucked that ship there's no way he totally fucked it yeah he put his penis inside something on that spaceship it was like uh did you ever watch that episode of uh my strange addiction with that dude who was in love with this car who was banging cars yeah it was that was the first thing that came in my mind when i I remember him licking the bumper and thinking, cars are dirty, man. Don't do that. He wasn't
licking it. He was laying fully underneath the car and kissing the bumper. And I'm pretty sure he was hard. He was basically just dry humping the drive shaft of that car. Henry Ford, when he invented cars, never envisioned what could happen. Oh, he was probably doing it too, dude. He's like, I'm going to be so fucking rich and just... That's true. Henry Ford's a weird fucking dude. He's got a lot of problems. Don't Google Henry Ford's feelings on Jewish people. Don't
do that. Yeah. He's a bad guy. He's a bad guy is what you need to know. That's it. Yeah. But like you said, the reason why you were probably getting so upset is because you knew that none of this was real. It wasn't based in reality. So today I'm going to tell you the reality of Captain Mark Richards. I'm so goddamn excited for this. I'm so ready. Are you? Yeah. I don't think you are. I'm hard right now. Well, like mostly. Okay. You went from six to midnight real
quick, didn't you? Well, right now it's like 9 p .m. Gotcha. All right. So in reality, Mark Richards was living in Marin County, California, and he was just barely scraping by as a contractor. He was running a small, struggling home renovation business and was just. At this point, just trying to keep himself afloat. But even on the brink and or already in financial ruin, Richards, the ever delusional man that he is, and much like every local band social media, he had big things
coming, all right? Big things are around the corner. We are opening for Whitesnake. He believed himself to be a visionary and a man destined to reshape the world. But before we get into all that, let's talk about what Richards was actually doing with his time in the 70s. since we know that he wasn't fighting space Nazis along dinosaurs. Richards, in 1977, years before Pendragon was formed, he tried to start a little place called Future Castle. Now, what do you think
Future Castle? Time out. Future Castle? Future Castle, yeah. Did the marketing team just decide to take a nap and let him name it? That is the worst name for anything ever. Dude, it was 1977, man. Back then, this is the height of creativity, I bet. I guess so. Future castle? So, like, a house? Dude, you would think that, like, a man who came up with all of the crazy stories he came up with would do a better job at naming something than future castle. You would think.
Yeah, like, it just doesn't make any sense. Well, future. Why? What is futuristic about this? And why would you need a castle in the future? Well, do you want to know why? I do. All right. I desperately do. Okay. So think of it like a future castles, like a mashup between like a prep school, a science, like a sci -fi convention and like a Renaissance fair. But all of it's kind of wrapped up in the warm embrace of like a cult. Does that make sense? Yeah, naturally. Yeah. So this is, this is like
a hillbop situation. Like, Yeah. Hopefully nobody's wearing Nikes. He pitched the idea of Future Castle as a quote -unquote academic community for the coming new renaissance where students would be trained in military strategy, scientific theory, political leadership, and pretty much whatever Mark was scribbling down in his notebook. And I'm almost certain that his notebook looked exactly like the notebooks from the movie Seven. Or Superbad, where it's just a bunch of really
veiny penises. Just a bunch of dicks. It's like Future Knights jousting with huge cocks. Here's the thing, though, and probably very unsurprising. The project had no money, no infrastructure, no staff, no land, and no real interest outside of Mark. Naturally. Yeah, it was literally a kingdom without subjects. The only thing to actually come from it was a paper trail of absolutely bonkers proposals and promotional material that nobody took all that seriously. Right. Well,
I mean, here's the thing. When you think about it, when you're catering to the Renaissance fair crowd, offering them the future is kind of the antithesis of what they're into. You know, I didn't think about it like that. I mean, I've never been to a Ren Fair and saw a guy in a Star Trek uniform. You know what I mean? You haven't? Because I feel like people do that all the time. And they usually don't get received very well by the people at the Renaissance Fair. Yeah,
they don't have a phaser. They just have a club to hit you on the head with. Set your phaser to bludgeon. So when this plan spectacularly failed, Richards, Didn't let it go. He just went further with it and his Camelot fantasy morphed into something much darker. So behind closed doors, he started forming a secret group that he named Pendragon as an Arthur Pendragon, the father of King Arthur. So unlike future castle, I saying it is just awful. Future castle just
sounds so stupid. It sounds like, bro, you probably could have brought some people in. If you made this a little bit more like Star Wars. Something, anything. But anyways, Pendragon wasn't about education, if you could call what was going to take place at Future Castle education. Pendragon was about domination. See, Richards, in his John Doe notebooks, had laid out detailed plans for a takeover of Marin County. turning the region into a feudal kingdom where he, of course, would
rule. He mapped out strategic targets, transportation choke points, and even weapon placements. This dude is the biggest fucking nerd on Earth. He plotted out how to blow up the Golden Gate and Richmond -San Rafael bridges to cut Mirren off from outside intervention. And on top of Mount Tamalpius... Tamalpius? Tamalpius? On top of Mount Tam... It would be a command post with mounted energy weapons, which he designed himself to help repel the National Guard or the Army
from advancing into the city. So, yeah. My guess is this guy had like a big table in his apartment and it was just full of like Lego sets that he put together. And he's like, this is my town. It's got to be something. Yeah, he's got little Lego men. He's probably... Oh, man. I know guys like this. You should probably report them because what happens next is kind of fucked up. No, I mean, they just play Warhammer 40K, you know? That's how they get their future night fix. That's
fair. So at the center of this new kingdom, you got Mark Richards. ruling as a modern -day King Arthur. And below him, you have a court of a couple teenage knights that he recruited from his family construction crew. Of course. He promised them titles, land, and power. So, like, literal nobility. One teacher, one teenager, Cross and Hoover, would later state that Richards promised to make him the Duke of Angel Island. Oh, God. This is so great. No wonder. Now it all makes
sense. He's got an army of teenage boys. Like, this is literally the start of Warhammer. Yeah. That's what happened. He started Warhammer 40K. Yeah. So, Richards, with his grandiose confidence and his constant, almost to the point of being insufferable, mythologizing of himself, had brainwashed and convinced these kids that they were building something real and doing something noble. Did he, though? Or were they just like, hey, can you buy us beer? We'll get to it. So, here's
the catch, though. What's one thing any strong and respected... kingdom needs sarge a moat close it's gold and richard yeah yeah richards he was broke as fuck uh future castle was a complete failure that renovation business was failing and his future kingdom wasn't just going to build itself so richards needed money and he needed money fast enter into the story richard baldwin can we just go back to why his renovation business failed because i think i know what happened what
happened what do we got Every time he showed up at a job, he's like, you know what you need? You need a drawbridge. You know what this house could use? More turrets. I think what we need... And then if the lady of the house was ever like, no, we don't need that, he's like, as a witch, burn her! Speak when spoken to, wench. Get me a turkey leg. Alright, so... Richard Baldwin was a 36 -year -old car guy who ran a local vintage
restoration shop. He was well -known, well -liked, and unfortunately for him, a trusted friend of Mark Richards. Now, they worked together on various things. Mark had helped renovate his house. They would talk shop, hang out, drink a couple beers. But now to Mark, what with his new kingdom that needed funding, Baldwin wasn't a friend anymore. He was a Mark. Pun intended. He was the perfect solution to the cash problem that stood between
Richards and his medieval wet dream. See, Baldwin was known to carry large amounts of cash on him at all time. He also kept a lot of valuables in his home, and these are all things that Richards knew from working with and for Baldwin on his property. So Richards needed funding to launch his coup, and Baldwin had what he needed, and he was... Pretty much is going to take it from him. But Mark wasn't about to get his hands dirty
alone. He called upon his trusty Knights, 17 year old Chris cross and David Hoover, who I mentioned earlier and a 18 year old Andrew Campbell, who looking back on it, he kind of got the raw end of the deal. Like Hoover was promised that he would be the Duke of angel Island. Whereas Andrew was just offered land and status, which I mean, apples and oranges might be like. I'll give you your horseless carriage. You mean that the gremlin? Yeah. Or the Pinto. Which one is
mine? Yeah. But anyways, Richard's called a meeting of the Knights of the kids table and laid out their mission. Knights of Chuckie cheese. He laid out their mission. Kill Richard Baldwin, steal everything and use the money to start Pendragon. On the night of July 6, 1982, Richards lured Baldwin to the shop under the pretense of discussing classic cars. Just casual hang sesh, crack a couple old cold ones, talking cars. Like, no
reason for Baldwin to be suspicious. Yeah. Now, while Baldwin was distracted, probably talking about something car -related, whatever, Richards gave the signal. He scratched his head, which is a pretty simple but stupid gesture, but... What it meant was it's go time. Oh, my God. I would accidentally do that signal like all the fucking time. That's why it's so fucking stupid. I scratched my head more than anyone. Like, I would walk in and do that. But anyways, so what
that signal meant was that it was go time. So Hoover crept up behind Baldwin and swung a metal baseball bat into his skull. Baldwin collapsed to the floor, either stunned or dying. Hoover just hit him again and again and again. Then, with Richards and or Campbell assisting, Baldwin was stabbed repeatedly in the chest and face with a knife and a chisel. You'd think they would have brought swords with them. Honestly, you would think. Yeah, or like a lance. Like, what
are we doing here? Well, it wasn't the cleanest or most efficient kill on record, but hey. Well, that's what happens when you hire teenagers to help you carry out your weird space renaissance dream. Yeah, but at least the hard part's over. That's done. Problem solved. Yeah, so time to get to work. They went straight to his house and cleaned it out. Cash, checks, credit cards, collectibles, anything of value, they took it.
They then returned to the body. wrapped it in a plastic tarp, tied it with a cord, and dragged it onto Baldwin's own motorboat. And in the early hours of July 7th, the three conspirators set out into the San Pablo Bay and once out far enough, dumped the body overboard and hoped that the current would just do the rest. My understanding of true crime is that the current never does its job. I feel like that body came right back. Well, once back on land, Richards got to work
playing innocent. Oh, what? Baldwin's dead? Oh, my. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, my lucky stars. Is that a thing? Someone has killed my squire. But behind closed doors, he started spending his ill -gotten gains fast and stupidly. The same day that he dumped the body. He went on a little celebration shopping spree, and over the course of the following days, he forged Baldwin's name on checks, used his credit cards, and because you can't make this shit up, he bought himself a boat. Of course
he did. He probably also got like a ton of really nice D20 sets, you know, like the metal ones,
and all the rule books for D &D. 82 was it dnd i don't know when dnd started oh was it oh yeah you're right you're right no it was the 80s because that's when everyone got scared of satan yeah so 80 yeah i mean it makes it could be i have no idea but maybe later on in the 80s but either way this is the guy who like owns all the dnd books but can't find anyone to play with yeah he would have fucking loved dnd if he he would have he would have he would honestly warhammer
naturally I honestly think that if D &D had been around, this wouldn't have happened. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. This guy would still be alive and detailing classic cars. Yeah. And this other guy would just be going to rent fairs and, you know, sexually harassing women. But I mean, I think it's kind of like the same thing. Like you hear a lot about how like. like the reason why we don't have many serial killers, like,
you know what I mean? It's because like the internet, if people have an outlet for those things, I mean, there still are. And now we don't have serial killers, we just have mass shooters, but it's a lot of, it's kind of like they're weird fantasies. Like they can see and or role play it online. I feel like if he had D and D he could, that was a good outlet for his fucking weird fantasies. Right. Right. No, no, that I completely
agree. Yeah. I think that. I think that, like, 90 % of the crimes committed by, like, crazy morons back in the day could have been solved by just watching, like, Game of Thrones. Something. Anything. But, yeah, for a minute there, the plan looked like it had actually worked, and Pendragon was a fucking go. Unfortunately, though, the fantasy didn't last forever. The cracks started to show almost immediately. Hoover, the 17 -year -old golden boy of Pendragon, he could not keep
his mouth shut. Of course not. He started bragging to classmates, to friends, to anyone who gave him five minutes and a handjob. Anyone who even looked his way. He talked about the murder, about Pendragon, about how he was going to rule over Angel Island once the new order took over. Oh, my God. Yeah, and it didn't take long before word... got to law enforcement, and right around this same time, you called it, the body came
back. I knew it! I knew it! Yeah, so on July 20th, 1982, a tugboat operator spotted something in the waters of San Pablo Bay. It was a tarp,
tangled in cable, bobbing at the surface. Inside was the decomposing body of Richard Baldwin, his skull caved in, face and chest punctured with stab wounds and for law enforcement it wasn't like a mystery for very long obviously we're not dealing with like the higher echelon of the criminal underworld here no absolutely not and I know I like joked about it but I do feel horrible for this poor fucking guy like he's just being friends with the weird dude he's like hey you
know he likes medieval shit no big deal like what a horrible situation Like, this poor guy is being friends with somebody who definitely had no business having friends based on his ridiculous ideas. This is fair. And his only reward for being a kind human being was being murdered by fucking Uther Pendragon over here. Like, what a horrible situation. True. To be fair, though, if it was with swords and, like, a broad axe, like, I think... I'd be an okay way to go. I
wouldn't feel too bad about that. You know, instead he died with a chisel. Yeah, that's fuck. That's gnarly. That's got to hurt so bad. Yeah. Holy shit. Well, technically he was killed. I think probably by the multiple metal baseball. Yeah, I think that's it. But anyways, we're getting taken out by a fucking Rosalyn. Now, when police began digging into Baldwin circle, all roads.
obviously led back to mark richards and his two teenage employees like i said there was rumors whispers strange behavior hoover just fucking talking shit constantly uh and richard you mean the brilliant mind behind future castle was unable to thwart the police in their investigation yeah and uh the fact that richards was suddenly spending a bunch of money even though everyone knew he had a failing business it kind of threw up some red flags so By August 1982, the fantasy had
fully collapsed. Mark Richards was arrested and charged with first -degree murder, burglary, and criminal conspiracy. Cops picked him up, but, you know, not during some secret meeting or bunker raid. But while he and his teenage co -conspirators were allegedly trying to dump more evidence. Because of course, why wouldn't it be that? While wearing suits of armor and
crowns. Just the loudest. Yeah. I just picture the cops pulling up behind them and they're wearing fully clad in medieval armor and they have to turn their whole bodies to look and then they raise their visor and they're like, oh shit, it's the fuzz. Quick, run! And it's just like, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. Sounds like a fucking Scooby -Doo chase scene. They hit one of them with a taser and the metal armor just arcs off the armor and hits the other ones.
God, I wish it was that so bad, but you know, it wasn't. It sucks. No, of course not. No, it's three morons. Well, one moron in two literal children. Now, from the second that Mark Richards was in handcuffs, he denied everything. Of course he did. He claimed he wasn't even present when Baldwin was killed. Yeah, he was on Mars at the time. He had no idea what happened. And that the murder was the result of a rogue act that he had nothing to do with. But the evidence...
Nothing at all to do with it. ...obviously told a different story. Richard's fingerprints were on the murder weapon. His handwriting was on Baldwin's forged checks. Baldwin's stolen property, including a ring, credit cards, and collectibles, were found in Richard's house. The plastic tarp and electrical cord used to wrap the body matched items from Richard's own supplies. And then the biggest crack of all was that Hoover and Campbell flipped almost immediately. Oh, yeah, of course
they did. Yeah, of course they did. Yeah, faced with the weight of the evidence and the guilt of what they'd done, both of them... immediately confessed and when they did it wasn't just about the murder they brought the entire Pendragon plot into the light so fantastic yeah we touched on what Pendragon like what it was and what they were planning but here's a little more thorough breakdown of what it was and what they before you get into the breakdown just tell me did did
they sign their confessions with like an old -timey wax seal They had one of those rings where they had to, like, press it on. Fuck, dude. I wish. The entire confession is written in old English. Oh, yeah. They had a fucking quill. There was an inkwell. Transcribed by monks by candlelight. The first letter on the pages is
this giant drawing. Just massive. Yeah. So what they found out was that investigators, while searching Richard's home, found maps and aerial photographs of Marin County marked with strategic targets, including bridges, government buildings, and power infrastructure. Now, this one is kind of wild because it's 82. You don't just get those off of Google Maps. He had to go to a county clerk's office or something. Yeah, he had to go to the assessor's office and fill out paperwork.
Yeah. You don't just come across maps and aerial photographs of an entire County. Like you have to like request this stuff, which I mean, maybe not, but I maybe nowadays that would throw up some major red flags. Maybe an 82 is a little different. I mean, it is pre nine 11. So, well, you know, also like it probably, it probably like raised his suspicions a little bit when an arrow flew through the window with his request wrapped around it. Fuck dude. I'm going to choke.
God damn it. Give me your records, wench. Before he walks into the room, he has one of the other dudes fucking bust in with a trumpet and announce him. An awkward teenager with an extremely long horn. That's what I picture. Hear ye, hear ye. Alright, sorry. I just, I'm... Oh, God, this
is just amazing. Yeah, they also found hand -drawn blueprints for homemade laser weapons, plans for improvised machine guns along with typed instructions on how to build them from scratch, notebooks detailing a new form of government that would be installed post -coup, a neo -feudal monarchy with Richards obviously at the top of
it. recruitment materials, listing young followers with assigned titles and land grants, and pages of political ramblings outlining how Pendragon would restore just rule after seizing control of the region. This wasn't just a dude LARPing with his friends. It could have ended up in a Waco scenario if it really got down to it. Thank God he is the most incompetent person alive.
Oh yeah, dude, it's not great. Yeah, so Richards envisioned pretty much a scenario where bridges like the Golden Gate in Richmond, San Rafael would be destroyed, cutting off Marin County from the outside world. And once isolated, his forces, quote unquote, teenage knights, and whoever else he could possibly recruit, would take control of local government offices, eliminate opposition, and install Richards as the new sovereign ruler.
And then the final phase included placing a laser cannon on top of Mount... which is Marin's highest point to shoot down military aircraft and hold off the National Guard. The laser cannon. Oh, my God. Yeah. This is just like the biggest fucking nerd on Earth. But he's not even a nerd because nerds are smart. No. Like, I know nerds. Nerds are smart. They're not fucking... They would have had, like, a good plan. This guy's a goddamn dweeb. I was going to say, there's a difference
between, like, a nerd and a dork. This dude's an absolute dork. He's a total dork. We're just not going to lie. It's a word that I feel like we should use more often. I think dork is really funny. I actually keep thinking of Leonard Lake, that serial killer who built the bunkers underground because he couldn't get women to like him, so he would abduct them. Was it Charles Ng? Yeah, Leonard Lake and Charles Ng. This guy is like Leonard Lake, but way worse. In terms of stupidity,
not like crime. I was going to say, because I think Leonard Lake and Charles Zink were pretty fucking funny. No, Leonard Lake used to go to Ren Fairs, though. He actually had a goat that only grew one horn, and he kept calling it a unicorn. That's pretty fucking rad. Not going to lie. But like, bro, it's a goat. It's not a unicorn. It's just a goat. No, but that's pretty funny. It is. It wasn't for the fact he was a
terrible monster. Yeah, it would be a little funny, but I feel like this guy and Leonard Lake would have been best friends because they were both active around the same time, too. Well, no. His best friend was Charles Ng. Charles Ng made it known that they were best friends. You have no idea what I bring to this friendship. You have no idea what I bring to this friendship. But no, I get what you're saying. Yeah. All right. But yeah. Oh, and also Richards, like I mentioned
earlier, had titles ready. Hoover was promised that he'd be the Duke of Angel Island, complete with territory and power once Pendragon took control. Other followers were reportedly offered similar roles. So it was a cult wrapped in medieval mythology powered by delusion and dripping in ego. But here's the thing. when I was researching, they kept saying other followers. He didn't really have other followers. It was more like he openly talked about this to a lot of people and people
would probably just go, Oh yeah, cool. Yeah, no, that sounds pretty rad. And then you just had a bunch of teenagers who yes, and did him as he bought them like cases of Milwaukee, you
know, Milwaukee's best. Yeah. So he probably took that as like a, hell yeah that's another night for my fucking round table and write that but really it was just the two dudes so i don't want the kids are like yeah right my leash just i need another cult 40 before we get started yeah i didn't want to like people to think that like i'm just leaving out the fact that there was a huge cult following around him there wasn't it was just the two yeah he he assumed more people
would follow him weird that the guy who came up with future castle would be so Unable to tell what people like. Yeah. Now, during the trial in 1984, all of this was entered into evidence. The prosecution, led by future DA Edward Barbarian, cool name, I'm sure. That's a pretty awesome name, actually. Barbarians at the gate, if you will. Honestly, it fits so well into the Arthurian. He used Pendragon to destroy Richard's credibility and expose his motives. They argued that this
wasn't just about money. It was about control, power, creating a kingdom, and killing Baldwin wasn't random. It was step one in the blueprint for this revolution. Now, you want to know what Richard's defense was? Can you guess? I'll give you three guesses. Goddamn. Witchcraft. Like a real defense. I want you to know, this is like... Pretend you're his defense attorney. You're faced with all of this Pendragon shit. What defense do you come up with for this man? Insanity, temporary
insanity, naturally. Okay, that's not it. The Twinkie defense, have you heard of this? Have you heard about this? Have you seen this? Where a guy who tried to get away with murder by saying that he was crazy on sugar from Twinkies? No, it wasn't that. Okay. Self -defense. That would have been a wild one. Yeah, in self -defense, I beat him over the head repeatedly with a baseball bat and then stabbed him, not only with a knife, but also a chisel in the face and stomach. No,
it's... Sarge. It was just a sci -fi novel that I was writing. Oh, God. It's just, you know, I'm just doing research, bro. He claimed that... He actually claimed that the documents were part of a work in progress called Imperial Marin. This guy took Star Wars way too seriously. That's what happened. Star Wars came out in 77 and he's like, I'm in. Imperial Marin was just a fun little dystopian fantasy about local warlords and coup d 'etats. The maps were just props. The weapon
plans, that's world building, obviously. The bridge bombings and laser cannons, that's just creative writing. I had no intention of doing any of this. That's why I killed a guy. But obviously that's just like the lamest lie in history. Yeah, it's the stupidest shit ever. Of course. Yeah, but because witness after witness, including Hoover and Campbell, testified that Richards never once said this was a novel, he held meetings, showed them the maps, assigned titles, spoken
absolutes. Also committed murder. Also committed murder. Pendragon wasn't a maybe, it was a someday kind of thing. Oh, definitely. But after weeks of testimony, evidence, and like... what -the -fuck kind of moments in the courtroom, the trial of Mark Richards came to a close, and the jury was left with two possible versions of reality.
One, Mark Richards was a cold, manipulative killer who orchestrated a murder -for -profit using a fantasy cult as a weapon to control vulnerable teenagers and finances personal war on reality. Or two, he was just a misunderstood sci -fi author writing a book called Imperial Marin, and it's all just a... big wacky misunderstanding involving blood maps, weapons, schematics, and a dead guy in a tarp. And that he was present during a murder of the guy in the top. No, no, it's no, I don't
know. He's just, no, no, no. Okay. Yeah. No, you know what, you know what you're doing. You're thinking about it. Yeah. Don't don't think about it. Think about it. Yeah. But yeah, it didn't take long for the jury to decide. They deliberated for four days, carefully reviewing every. What? Yeah, I know. It's way longer than it should be. Yeah, I'm saying like in a situation like this, if I were the jury foreman, they'd be like, OK, now the jury is going to deliberate and be
like, you know what? Actually, you guys good? Yeah. Yeah. He's guilty. Yeah, definitely. They just walk out and then just circle back around and come out the other door. You know what they did? They probably sequestered the jury in a really nice hotel and everybody just wanted to get like they had massages scheduled. Oh, yeah. They were like, bro, listen, I'm taking time off work and getting paid. This shit's free. I'm getting room service for they're milking
it. Yeah. You know, either that or they were just like, this is so stupid that we have to be missing something. Yeah. But, you know, like day four when they're just like they have their mud mask on. Someone's like, you guys going to like fucking talk about this or what? Like, oh, shit. Yeah, you're right. Sorry. Guilty. One guy comes in with a charcuterie board from the hotel. Yeah. He's guilty. They ran out of olives. So it was a. But in the end, they returned a
unanimous verdict of guilty. Hopefully, I would hope so. Easily. I hope one dude isn't like, well, I don't know. The book sounds kind of cool. Yeah, that one dude is also wearing a purple robe. He's carrying a scepter. He's got a scepter. He said, I can be king of San Francisco. So what was he convicted of? He was convicted of first degree murder, conspiracy to commit murder. burglary and the special circumstances of murder for profit
and solicitation of others to kill. Now it's these special circumstances that are pretty much key because once the jury agreed, Richards had not only committed the murder for gain, but also had recruited others to carry it out. The sentence became automatic, which is life in prison without the possibility of parole. So no appeal, no early release, just. chilling in a cell for a lifetime. Now his teenage accomplices were sentenced separately. So Cross and Hoover, who swung the bat and stabbed
Baldwin, was sentenced to 26 years to life. He later regretted parole, but the decision was overturned by then -Governor Jerry Brown, who said Hoover still posed a threat to society. And Andrew Campbell, who cooperated and testified, received a lighter sentence. I don't know what that sentence was. At the risk of pissing off. uh, Jellaby offer from the dead Kennedys. I got to stand behind this decision by Jerry Brown. Yeah, I think it's a safe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
He made the right call. Now, as for Pendragon, it never made it past the planning stages, obviously, because everyone involved is a fucking idiot. Uh, no bridges were bombed. Obviously no governments were overthrown. No laser cannons ever made it to the top of Mount Tam. Uh, all that remained were some. folders full of fantasy, a dead dude in a bay in a kingdom built on just bullshit. I feel like this should be a movie. Yeah, I think it would be really fun. With the exception of
the murder, this is fucking hilarious. It's pretty good, but you have to involve... We'll get to it. Now, you think that would be the end of it, obviously. Yeah, naturally. Mark Richards wasn't done. He wasn't going to go out as some... failed cult leader and convicted murderer, he was going to rewrite the narrative. And in prison, he found - And become a failed CIA operative who's been to space. No. In prison, he found a new battleground.
That is the internet. So after his conviction, Richards began spinning a new story, one where he wasn't a killer, but a whistleblower. a secret space program commander, a man who had been framed by powerful forces because he quote -unquote knew too much. Now for years, the only people paying attention were a handful of fringe conspiracy types. That is until 2013 when one woman walked into California State Prison in Vacaville and changed everything. That woman is Carrie Cassidy,
founder of Project Camelot. Oh God, these fucking dorks. Now Cassidy was a self -proclaimed truth seeker, UFO researcher, A walking megaphone for bullshit. And made Marion cosplayer. After visiting Richards, she emerged from the prison gates fully convinced that he wasn't a murderer, but a cosmic patriot locked away by reptilian -controlled shadow governments who feared what he knew. I will never forgive David Icke for inventing reptilians
because this shit is everywhere. Oh, yeah. Now, from this moment forward, Cassidy became Richard's mouthpiece, conducting over a dozen interviews, taking notes during visitations, since recording wasn't allowed. She had to write everything down with a pen and pencil, then racing back to her camera to deliver the gospel according to Mark. It must have been really hard for her to get
all the calligraphy down. She broadcasts stories of interstellar wars, alien councils, psychic warfare, time travel sabotage, Nazi saucers, sentient ships, raptor royalty, moon bases, and secret missions that coincidentally matched the exact same sci -fi plot points Richards used to lure two teenagers into murder. Crazy, right? Amazing. Amazing. All those stories that I told in part one, they all came from Cassidy's videos.
They're not whistleblower testimony. bedtime stories from a convicted killer who wanted to make a new identity for himself. Jesus Christ. And Cassidy lapped it up. Of course. She pushed the narrative that Mark had been framed by the Illuminati, imprisoned to silence his interstellar service record. She claimed he'd been leading the fight against alien threats since his teens, that he was a Navy captain, a decorated commander,
a Rhodes scholar, a government advisor. But like I said, the reality of it is that he never served in the military. He was attending community college during the Vietnam War. He has no record at Oxford. His only verified degree is a bachelor's in history, and his quote -unquote command experience exists entirely in his own brain and Cary Cassidy's YouTube channel. That is so weird that he has a degree in history yet didn't understand how
it all turned out for the Knights. well maybe i don't know i mean people fucking still white supremacists talk about the fourth reich like that's true okay yeah that's fair yeah and then hey that's no way to talk about elon musk all right he's just trying he's trying But that didn't stop the myth from spreading. To this day, Cassidy continues to post quote -unquote intel from Richards via his wife, Joanne, who also runs a nonprofit called Earth Defense Headquarters. He has a fucking
wife? Yeah. That's a whole other thing. Okay. She runs a nonprofit called Earth Defense Headquarters, which is a site dedicated to publishing his writings and further entrenching the fiction. And somehow people believe it. They believe that he flew Minerva, the sentient starship. that he fought reptilians in Antarctica, that he brokered peace with bug aliens in Bolivia, that he liberated
Dolce Base, and that he saved the moon. Yeah, they believe in Captain Mark Richards, but the state of California knows him by a different name, which is inmate number B33920. So there you go. That is the conclusion of the story of Captain Mark Richards. How are you feeling, buddy? You look good. You look... This couldn't have turned out better. Yeah, no, you got it from beginning to end. I was just enthralled with this story. Holy shit. Yeah, I love it so much.
The only downside is that I know I know Mark Rich. I keep wanting to call him Captain Mark Rich. But the one thing that sucks about this, and I know he's not directly receiving any sort
of like monetary. whatever but carrie cassidy has a huge following his wife has that non -profit whatever but you you know that he's somehow like making money off this you know what i mean like you know that somehow yeah there's got to be money in this commissary coming from like duped people who just desperately want there to be like a middle ages version of star trek yeah like you like in this fucking annoying but yeah sarge Any thoughts, questions, concerns? Do you
want to? Oh, my God. This couldn't have turned out better. Just the whole story is just fucking amazing. I know I was skeptical in the beginning, but goddamn, this turned out just fantastic. What an absolute knob. Sarge, listen, you know I would never string you along without any payoff. Nope. And that was my fault for getting real
mad about his. many nonsense beliefs but to just just perfect to your credit though we can only talk about so many grifters for so long before it's just like fuck these guys you know well I think the thing that bothered me about it in the beginning was just like you can't always be the hero like you have to like put in a couple of losses there to make the story believable you know what I mean Well, the thing about Carrie Cassidy and Project Camelot is that all the quote
-unquote whistleblowers of the secret space program, because she's had a bunch of people on, dude, and they're all fucking awful. It's all Alex Jones -ian sphere kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. Carrie Cassidy, I don't want to call her... She's not... How do I word this? A lot of conspiracy theories, and especially like... secret space programs and reptilians. And also it's, it's all based in some sort of antisemitism or some
sort of racism kind of thing. But the thing is, I don't think Carrie Cassidy thinks about it that way. You know what I mean? Like she, she genuinely believes that there are different races of aliens. Like the people that come on, they're telling the story, but it's all like, you know, The reptilians. It's like a wink and a nod. There's like a dog whistle. Like, yeah, we're, we're talking about Jewish people. I think, but like,
I think she's like, she's a true believer. I think she is a true believer and it's kind of crazy. So I don't, I don't, I mean, I blame her for a lot of things, but her believing this, I, like I a hundred percent. Well, like she's probably, she's probably dealing with like some very untreated mental illness. To be fair, she's also... And Mark is just yes -anding her all the way. To be fair, she is also a huge QAnon person, so I don't know. Oh, yeah, well, obviously.
Yeah, she's not great. She's not, like, she's a big Trump supporter. She believed that when, like, Biden was in office that Trump was still the real president working behind the scenes.
Which is weird because everyone voted out Biden for doing a terrible job, even though... by their own logic trump was president yeah i don't know dude um yeah i don't it doesn't it doesn't track but i actually just saw a picture of her and that's the face of an insane person i don't think she's like if you google her face yeah you can tell just by looking at her That she's fucking cuckoo banana pants. I follow her on Instagram.
I've been tagging her in every single post I've made about Mark Richards in hopes that she would like see. You're going to get people knocking on your door. Well, I just wanted to see if she'd see it. That'd be really funny. I forget where I was going. She's going to say that you're part of the deep state. I remember where I was going with this. You were saying how you can't always have wins. You have to have some sort of loss. Not on Carrie Cassidy's show. There's no room
for that. Every whistleblower, every person that comes on as part of the secret space program, has worked at Dulce, anything like that. They're all heroes. They're all patriots. They don't ever lose. I don't know if they talk to one another, but they all confirm other people's stories. It's a yes -and thing. Yeah, it's a yes -and thing. That's how conspiracy theories work. It's just a big yes -and game, and then anytime somebody pushes you, you're like, well, that's what they
want you to think. Here's the thing, though. I don't think this is conspiracy theory. I think this is just one long grift, and Carrie Gassidy isn't part of the grift. She's just promoting the grift, but I don't think she is. You have to wonder how unskilled are these fucking morons that the most amount of money they could make is off of maybe the 10 people that believe this nonsense. Bro, Carrie Cassidy has a way bigger
following than you think she does. I mean, even if it's a couple million people, even if her videos on YouTube are getting like 30 ,000 views, that's like what? I don't think she's on YouTube
anymore. I think it's mostly Rumble. or whatever the the right wing thing it's i know that she's on true social she is still on facebook and she has the quite the following there um but yeah i think she's perpetuating a grift like she's not part of the grift but she'll like promote people's books and all that stuff like because people write books which is fucking crazy um yeah it's just all bad it's all it's all just right wing grifter shit and like i said the the
the circles Between her, Alex Jones, and all those, it's kind of... It's like a Venn diagram that's almost a circle as far as guests and talking points go. Only hers are more shrouded in space conspiracy while Alex Jones is just crazy. It's very, very similar. See, the thing is, I don't think Alex Jones is crazy. I think he is probably the sanest out of the group. He just knows if he keeps perpetuating this nonsense... He's going
to continue to rake. Well, he was going to continue to rake in money until all of his assets were sieved. All right. So I just went on Carrie's Facebook. She has a documentary coming out. Oh, God, I'm so excited. So I just want to see what's going on. Carrie Cassidy. her actual Facebook, she has 5 ,000 followers. So not that big project. And that's way bigger, but she just posted this on April 10th, uh, that she's in a documentary called nexus to disclosure. The truth is classified.
I don't know how they know that. How do they know the truth? The truth, you know, if you classify it, it's probably the truth. That's why you're classifying it, but also, all right, so I'm going to read you the description that she posted on. Please do. Uh, and the worst is how she describes herself. This is the synopsis of this documentary. This documentary delves into the decades -long groundbreaking investigations of prominent women at the forefront of the UFO disclosure movement.
It follows investigative journalist, author, and documentarian Linda Moulton Howe Regressive hypnotherapist and author Yvonne Smith. Renowned speaker and author Laura Eisenhower, the great -great -granddaughter of former President Eisenhower. An investigative journalist and author Carrie Cassidy. God damn it. Host and investigative
journalist Apola. Austria guides viewers through a comprehensive exploration of their work, connecting the dots between their findings to reveal a compelling narrative of government coverups and extraterrestrial phenomena. The documentary aims to expose the hidden truth surrounding UFOs and their impact on humanity, drawing on the collective experience of these influential women to shed light on one of history's greatest mysteries. Amazing. We have to watch this. I wish we could do like a
live watch. There has to be a way. I assume there is. Yeah, we got to capture our immediate reaction. Project Camelot's been doing this since 2005? God damn. Jesus. They have almost 100 ,000 followers on Instagram. That is bananas, dude. Yeah, but how many people are following them as a joke? I don't know, dude. Some of these things are getting some engagement. There's one Instagram account that I follow specifically because all of the comments are people making fun of it.
Is it kind of like that one girl on TikTok who just tells dad jokes and everyone's like, shit in my mouth, please. You know what I'm talking about? That's what I'm talking about. It's not the exact what I'm talking about, but that's exactly why I follow this account. Gotcha, gotcha. Carrie Cassidy smiles like she is currently getting a root canal. Look at this picture of her. I don't know if you can see. Yeah, right? Check out this picture. Oh, yeah, dude. No, she's a
nightmare. That's the smile you make when someone farts and you're trying to be polite. Oh, goddamn. All right. But, yeah, that's it. I think that's all I got to say. I don't got any more on Carrie Cassidy. Not Carrie Cassidy. Did kind of turn into that. But, yeah, Captain Mark Richards. We're done. Mark Richards. That's it. Captain Mark Richards, bro. Excalibur. Yeah. Maybe I can fucking find a way to make fun of you. Excelsior. I don't think we can. Excelsior. We should write
him a letter. Write? Oh, my God, dude. I think I'm going to write Mark Richards a letter. Yeah, because we can't get him on the show, but we could write him a letter. Be like, hey, I started following your exploits from Carrie Cassidy and Project Hamlet. What's all this shit about Pendragon? Or you could take it from another angle and be like, hey, we met on Mars. Yo, bro, Mark, what's up, dude? Hey, man. Buddy, I haven't seen you since when we were on Mount... Ah, shit, I can't
remember the name of that goddamn mountain. Eh, it's whatever. All right. Yeah, that was fun. Brilliant. Episode two. I love this. A little bit more exciting than the first. I mean, it depends on what you think is exciting. Oh, God, this is so exciting. This is so much fun. Yeah. All right. Sarge, with that out of the way, do you want to, you got anything you want to plug? You got anything you want to talk about? Yeah. Coloring book still. Sajasupernormal .com. $9
.99. Get yourself a coloring book. Just buy it. And don't question it. Don't question it. Not even for once. Don't even think about it. Exactly. Spend the $9 .99. The coloring book will make you happy. Exactly. All right. If you want to follow us, you can follow us on Instagram, Crypto Cocktail. Follow us on TikTok, Crypto Cocktail Party. If you are Demi Lovato, come on the show. I think that would be awesome. I think that would be really cool. Demi, I don't know what other
videos he has. And there's a couple without. without my shirt on and i'm just i'm scared yeah i took a break today because it's easter i don't want to annoy her on easter you know yeah that's fair yeah i'll start i'll continue harassing her tomorrow um leave us a rating and review if you could it'd be awesome helps the show obviously where you can naturally uh i always say five stars scathing review i think is really funny i think you could rate it five stars and just
be like this show sucks I'm fine with that. Yeah, I think we're really funny. I think that's all I got for that. With that out of the way, Sarge, you want to say goodbye and I love you to the audience? Hey, guys, goodbye and I love you.