Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't - podcast cover

Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't

Tony Santorewww.spreaker.com
Why do some plants grow where they do? How can geology cause new plant species to evolve? Why are some plants pollinated by flies, some by bats, some by birds, and others by bees? How does a plant evolve to look like a rock? How can destroying lawns soothe the soul? This is a show about plants and plant habitat through the lens of natural selection and ecology, with a side of neurotic ranting, light humor, occasional profanity, & the perpetual search for the filthiest taqueria bathroom. 


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Episodes

Adam Black is NOT a Permaculture Activist

In this episode I sit down withAdam Black about planting fruit trees in the park, how to save the honeybees, why invasive species don't exist, and how to properly apply a glue-on moustache and select proper attire so as to "fit in" when botanizing in West Texas. /s Adam Black is a field botanist and researcher with Bartlett Tree Research Laboratories and Arboretum who has traveled to numerous continents and countries researching oaks and conifers (he has nothing to do with permaculture, that is ...

Dec 08, 20241 hr 25 min

Native, Invasive & Basic Biogeography

If the terrible Ads are bumming you out, then episodes are available on the Patreon Ad-Free at https://www.patreon.com/c/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt In this lecture we rant about Invasion Biology, Continents as Ecosystems, the concept of a "Living Machine", and David Bowie's package in The Labrynth. PDF download for this rant : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rL5WP8zI0-Oqh4DYkRFBpjk0tBrcP9Hl/view?usp=drivesdk

Dec 05, 20241 hr 24 min

A Conversation About Human Relationships with the Biosphere

If the ads are a bummer, then join the Patreon, where you'll have early access to videos, exclusive access to learning material, and Ad-Free episodes of this podcast. This was a conversation I had with my friend Martin Grantham about how humans relate to the living world around them (or rather, how most of them don't) and the factors that influence it.

Nov 30, 20241 hr 28 min

Plant Speciation Podcast for You Rotten Degenerates

This podcast episode is available ad-free on the Patreon with a screenshare of the presentation that accompanies it at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt How do plants evolve? How do plants speciate? What is allopatric speciation? What is sympatric speciation? How do plants like the Hawaiian silverswords evolve to be such big weird bastards while their ancestors on the mainlaind (the tarweeds) are so small? What the hell happened with the genus Echium (Boraginaceae) when it got to the Cana...

Nov 27, 20241 hr 7 min

Tectonic City

If the ads are a bummer, keep in mind all episodes of the Crime Pays podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at : www.patreon.com/c/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt Codi Lazar is a Professory of Geology at California State University San Bernardino and a passionate and utterly hilarious geologist. In this episode, we get into the weeds talking about a wide variety of topics such as how limestone forms, why some plants might be restricted to it, what "serpentinite" is, what's in story for the state ...

Nov 16, 20242 hr 36 min

A Deep Dive Into Coyote Bush

Ads are terrible, Ads are hell, and if they bother you, here's a reminder that you can avoid them altogether by listening to this podcast Ad-Free on the Crime Pays Patreon at : www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt The genus Baccharis is one of the largest and most diverse in the Composite Family, Asteraceae. It originated in South America a few dozen million years ago and has diversified and spread throughout South and North America and adapted to a variety of different habitats due to a num...

Nov 05, 20242 hr 9 min

Oklahoma City, Limestone endemism, Relict Habitat of West Texas, and more

If the ads are annoying, keep in mind all podcast episodes are offered ad-free on the Patreon at : www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt, where you'll also have early access to videos, exlusive access to plant education lectures, and exclusive access to photo dumps from recent plant excursions that are not visible on any of the other Crime Pays Social Media venues. Rants about scrub oaks in the sand dunes of West Texas, 500 million-year-old granite in Lawton Oklahoma and the obesity epidemic ...

Oct 25, 20241 hr 18 min

Plant Anatomy, Again with Dr. Jim Mauseth

If the ads are bumming you out, keep in mind that ad-free episodes of the podcast are available at : www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt Did you know that the distal ends and tips of roots are the only parts doing any absorption? What the hell are cortical bundles and why did cacti evolve them? How can cactus roots grow so quickly after a rain and what do we mean by "root spurs"? How does the South American parasitic plant Tristerix aphylla behave like a fungus when it grows inside its host...

Oct 16, 20242 hr 19 min

Plant Tissue Systems Lecture

A reminder: the ads on this podcast (as well as most podcasts) are terrible. You can get AD-FREE versions of this podcast episode on the crime pays patreon (https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt) In this episode: We talk about the three main types of tissue systems in plants : Dermal (trichomes, guard cells) Ground (Parenchyma, Collenchyma, Sclerenchyma) & Vascular (xylem and phloem) What the hell are these tissues? Whatta they mean? Whatta they do?...

Oct 12, 202457 min

Chris Best, State Botanist - USFW

If the ads are bumming you out, consider joining the Patreon where all podcast episodes are uploaded ad free at : https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt Christ Best is the State Botanist with US Fish and Wildlife Service for the state of Texas, a position he has held for 30 years. He has extensive knowledge of plants in the Rio Grande Valley of South Texas, specifically. He has worked with numerous rare and endangered plant species including Physaria thamnophila, Asclpeias prostrata, T...

Oct 10, 20242 hr 46 min

Debunking Charlatans & Posers with Professor Dave Explains

A reminder: the ads on this podcast (as well as most podcasts) are terrible. You can get AD-FREE versions of this podcast episode on the crime pays patreon (https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt) Dave Farina is the host of the "Professor Dave Explains" youtube channel, an educational youtube series exploring a wide variety of scientific topics and offering free eduational tutorials on subjects ranging from human evolution to organic chemistry to arthropod taxonomy. In recent years, he...

Oct 08, 20241 hr 6 min

Da Tubes Lecture (Shoots and Roots)

Originally recorded as a class lecture, this podcast episode contains information on root structures and shoots and is accompanied by the PDF found at : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vA_n1OWw2PpUJSqn3m5lbSOymH_aARB7/view?usp=drivesdk as well as chapters 23,24,&25 of "Raven Biology of Plants" textbook which can be downloaded for free on libgen.is in PDF form and read on a tablet. We cover : Apical Meristems, Lateral Meristems (and why monocots don't have any), root caps, cortex, endodermis...

Oct 03, 202454 min

Phylogenetic Crash Course podcast

This is the spoken part of a lecture that was presented for patreon subscribers and students on the patreon. To see the accompanying PDF and hear ad-free podcast episodes sign up for the crime pays patreon at patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt We talk about the basic elements of plant identification, how it ties into plant evolution, evolutionary trees aka cladograms, what "phylogeny" means and why monophyletic" and "synapomorphies" are such important terms.

Sep 26, 20241 hr 30 min

Texas' Rarest Plant, Caliche Gardens & Crested Peyote

A reminder: the ads on this podcast (as well as most podcasts) are terrible. You can get AD-FREE versions of this podcast episode on the crime pays patreon (https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt) In this episode we talk about Paronychia congesta, one of Texas' Rarest Plants, which grows on Caliche barrens in Jim Hogg County, as well as Caliche blazing stars, the Crested Peyote of West Texas, planting native plant gardens at Amada's House in Mirando City,and plenty more.

Sep 20, 20241 hr 32 min

Lycophytes, Quillworts & the "Great Dying"

I became fixated on lycophytes because of some of the cool desert-dwelling members of the genus Selaginella, not to mention the utterly weird "clubmosses" that thrive in places as disparate as Northern Wisconsin and the slopes of volcanoes in New Zealand, but in this episode botanist Jeff Benca tells us about his work with relatives of the genus Isoetes ("Quillworts") and how their 250 million year old relatives might have been able to survive the biggest extinction in Earth's history, otherwise...

Sep 16, 20242 hr 37 min

West Texas Pine Harvest and Alternation of Generations

A rant about West Texas Pines and the sand blazing star. At the 40 minute mark we begin our dive into the convoluted, confusing but utterly cool phenomenon of Alternation of Generations we talk mostly about Bryophytes (mosses and liverworts) and Lycophytes ("spikemosses" and "clubmosses"), and the ferns, but not gymnosperms or angiosperms). This turns into more of a "lesson" on the subject than a podcast episode. Key terms to remember : Gametophyte (haploid), Sporophyte (diploid) Haploid - 1 set...

Sep 13, 20241 hr 45 min

A Conversation with Dan Hosage

A conversation with Chemist, Genius, Botanist,, Propagator, & Madman Dan Hosage about Texas Native Plants, Texas History, and more.

Sep 07, 20243 hr 6 min

Convincing Mice to Vote for Cats

NON-BOTANY PODCAST! This week's podcast is a conversation with my friend Jay Lesoleil, political anthropologist and half the means behind the "Fucking Cancelled" podcast about right-wing populism, the failures of the American left, identitarianism, and how to build a non-insane American working class left.

Aug 30, 20241 hr 9 min

Oaks Are the Beasts of An Ecosystem! A Discussion with Dr. Andrew Hipp

Andrew Hipp is the director of the herbarium and Senior Sciensist and Researcher in Plant Systematics at Morton Arboretum in Chicago. This is one of the most fun and inspiring conversations I've had in a while, and it's about one of the most ecologically important genera of plants in the Northern Hemisphere : THE OAKS (genus Quercus). In this episode we talk about the 13,000 year old Palmer's Oak in the California Desert, what the hell "Delayed Fertilization" is (hint: it's not common but it's u...

Aug 22, 20241 hr 27 min

Aquatic Botany with Casey Williams

Casey Williams is an botanist and plant ecologist specializing in aquatic plants - both plants that grow completely submerged and which can emerge above the water surface. In this episode, we discuss : -the stresses facing plants that grow underwater, -being limited by CO2 availability instead of water availability, -the endangered Texas Wild Rice, -how limestone geology influences aquatic plant growth by making CO2 more abundant, -utilizing aquatic plants and the fungi that grow on them for bio...

Aug 14, 20242 hr 36 min

Rustbelt Tour Recap & Ouachita Orogeny

Vernonia lettermannii and other cool plants of Western Arkansas Novaculite, Ouachita Mountain Orogeny, Chert Glades of Western Missouri, the most obnoxious cicada species in the world, Detroit Rustic, Pittsburgh Museums, Shared Mountain Ranges of Appalachia and Morocco from the times of Pangaea, Northern Pennsylvania Glaciation, and more.

Aug 06, 20242 hr 1 min

Mycology Catch-Up w/ Alan Rockefeller

Alan Rockefeller is a mycologist and educator who has been studying mushrooms all over the world for the past 20 years and recently helped described two new species of Psilocybin mushroom from South Africa. He has helped numerous "citizen scientists" learn to DNA barcode fungi and led hundreds of free mushroom identification walks throughout North America. Alan encourages community science, free education and in addition is one of the kindest human beings I know. Also, one time in Mexico we almo...

Jul 07, 20241 hr 57 min

Dr. Daniela Zappi - Brazilian Plant Ecology

Dr. Daniela Cristina Zappi is a Brazilian botanist, plant collector, and research scientist at the herbarium of the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew noted for studying and describing Neotropical flora, Rubiaceae, and Cactaceae. She has described over 90 species, most recently a new species in the cactus genus Uebelmannia (U.nuda). In this episode of Crime Pays, we discuss the different biomes and plant communities of Brazil, what "ecological islands" are, the biogeography of the cactus family, bat pol...

Jul 03, 20241 hr 51 min

Zoe Schlanger, Author of The Light Eaters

Zoe Schlanger is the author of newly released book "The Light Eaters", which shines a new light on researchers studying plant "intelligence" and behavior.

Jun 27, 20241 hr 46 min

Texas Botany with Michael Eason

The state of Texas is one of the most diverse states for plants (and geology) in the US, and contains a large number of plant species that can't be found anywhere else in the United States, yet at the same time an enormous amount of land and plant habitat is being destroyed every day (240,000 acres a year) ,pushing more than a few plant species towards population decline. This episode is a conversation with botanist and author Michael Eason from San Antonio Botanic Garden about plant conservatio...

Jun 24, 20241 hr 54 min

Andrew "The Arborist" Conboy

In this we talk with Andrew Conboy about street trees, urban forestry, habitat restoration, getting stoked on native plant life and how it's practical more than puritanical, Philly, botanic gardens, and more.

Jun 18, 20241 hr 31 min

Guanajuato, Mexico Recap Part 2 - Floristic Affinities & Biogeography

Two hours of rants about wonderful plants in Central Mexico. A follow-up to the previous episode and a description of plant species, taxonomic affinities and habitats encountered in the mountains of Querétaro and Guanajuato States, Mexico. Also a brief gear list and explanation of the various tools used when botanizing desert mountains. Why the genus Garrya (the silktassels) is so cool, A new Astrolepis sp. (Undescribed) Stevia pyrolifolia (Asteraceae) - it's waxy-as$ leaves at 10,000 feet Dyscr...

Jun 13, 20241 hr 56 min

Central Mexico Recap & Habitat Summary

This episode sponsored by Fiberpad, where you can glue duct-taped wheatgrass and fiberglass to your face in order to clear up any blemishes nice. What can limestone do for you and how does it form? A long, winding rant through the mountains of Querétaro about habitats and species encountered at elevations between 6,000' and 10,000' including: Karwinskia humboldtiana (Rhamnaceae) Baccharis conferta (Asteraceae) Penstemon campanulatus (Plantaginaceae) Ariocarpus kotschoubeyanus (Cactaceae) Kadenic...

Jun 11, 20241 hr 46 min

Pollination Systems & Bird Pollination with Jeff Ollerton

Jeff Ollerton is a pollination biologist and researcher based out of the EU and currently working in KunMing, Yunnan Province, China. He has written two excellent books - one entitled "Pollinators and Pollination" and another entitled "Birds and Flowers" about birds as pollinators. In this nearly two hour long conversation we talk about a variety of taxa as well as ecological phenomena. I am still kicking myself for forgetting to bring up the topic of the South African monocot genus Strelitzia (...

May 28, 20242 hr 9 min
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