Silence can be as powerful as words. We usually think about words we use and how we say them when we consider conflict. Silence, too, matters. It can be damaging, hesitant, or a vehicle for acknowledgement and learning. We should think through what motivates our silence and how it can affect another person. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com ! And you can learn...
Jun 11, 2020•4 min•Ep. 76
Approaching conflict with respect and humility allows people to engage with each other productively, not defensively. We discuss Jeremy’s involvement in martial arts, coaching, and how confidence can eliminate the desire to act with aggression. I talked with Jeremy in February 2020. We didn’t know what the next few months would bring. This episode, Number 75, is published on June 3 (in the U.S.) Our conversation would be thought-provoking at any time -- and perhaps even more so in the tumultuous...
Jun 04, 2020•25 min•Ep. 75
Choosing the best location, including a neutral playing field, can help the odds of a challenging conversation being productive. Considering where –home? a certain spot in the home? – to have a tough conversation can help as part of a recipe for success. If one person is especially unenthusiastic about the discussion and/or especially important (and they easily may be the same person), picking the best spot for that person may be a wise move. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or ...
May 28, 2020•5 min•Ep. 74
The location for a challenging conversation can affect how productive that conversation will be. Consider where a tough workplace conversation might best take place: in a private place, off-site, somewhere else? It’s one factor in setting up for success. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com ! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certifi...
May 21, 2020•5 min•Ep. 73
Families that successfully pass on family businesses also handle conflict successfully. Dennis explains that enterprising families that succeed over generations accept that conflict will happen and take steps, in advance, to manage it effectively. Policies, codes of conduct, and plans to allow individuals and family branches to leave the family are among the tools families can adopt. His most recent book is Borrowed From Your Grandchildren: The Evolution of 100-Year Family Enterprises. The book ...
May 14, 2020•25 min•Ep. 72
Practicing what you will say in a difficult conversation can lead to a better outcome. When you know that a difficult conversation is coming, you can prepare for it by practicing – out loud – how you will start your part of it. And if the words don’t roll off your tongue, try some others! Then try out what you might say as the conversation continues. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb...
May 07, 2020•5 min•Ep. 71
CINERGY ® Conflict Management Coaching includes a smart idea: think about what you know about past conflict experiences with another person. If you can think, in advance of a difficult conversation, how you can avoid the pushing the hot buttons of someone you know, you will set yourself up for a more productive conversation. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com !...
Apr 30, 2020•6 min•Ep. 70
CINERGY ® Coaching builds conflict intelligence and makes conflict an opportunity for strengthening relationships. The CINERGY ® Model combines executive coaching, neuroscience, and conflict management principles. Cinnie described the seven stages of the CINERGY® Model of Conflict Management Coaching: C, Clarify the goal; I, Inquire about the situation; N, Name the elements; E, Explore choices; R, Reconstruct the situation; G, Ground the challenges; Y, Yes, the commitment. As a CINERGY® coach wo...
Apr 23, 2020•26 min•Ep. 69
After a conflict has ended, we can benefit from some healthy reflection on it. We can learn from mistakes and also reinforce actions and words that were helpful. In this episode, I reflect on a recent encounter with a customer service rep, by phone. Some things went well – and I have room for improvement! Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com ! And you can learn m...
Apr 16, 2020•5 min•Ep. 68
The SWOT analysis used in business can also be used as an approach to look at our perspective on conflict. A SWOT analysis considers Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. When using it to better understand our individual perspective on conflict, it’s important to resist the temptation – especially if you are risk-averse – to see only your weaknesses. You likely have strengths and actively looking for them can boost your confidence in dealing with conflict. Let’s keep shipping, TPF a...
Apr 09, 2020•5 min•Ep. 67
Rational planning and overcoming cognitive biases is always important – even more so when a pandemic is stretching across the globe. Gleb has been focused on good decision-making, and how to help business leaders and others do it, for many years. He shared some helpful tips in moving past our savanna-based instincts and more effectively facing the challenges we face today, including the current COVID-19 pandemic. His books include Never Go With Your Gut and The Blind Spots Between Us. You can le...
Apr 02, 2020•28 min•Ep. 66
VUCA, or volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous conditions provide fertile ground for conflict.We can’t change these conditions but can accept them and acknowledge the effects they have. Then we can make adjustments to deal with them as effectively as possible to minimize negative conflicts. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com ! And you can learn more about...
Mar 26, 2020•5 min•Ep. 65
VUCA, or volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous is a concept that is tailor-made for these times. As COVID-19 spreads across the globe, even one of the four ideas embedded in VUCA would invite conflict. All four is even more challenging. We can start to meet the challenge by acknowledging how turbulent these times are for ourselves and others. Then, let’s try to be a little more patient and calm – not that it’s easy. But it is worth the effort. Do you have comments or suggestions about a to...
Mar 19, 2020•5 min•Ep. 64
Dr. Nate Regier talks about the true meaning of compassion and its role in conflict. We discussed the core competencies of compassion and their role in leadership in the workplace. You can learn more about Nate’s work at https://next-element.com/ and https://thecompassionmindset.com/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com ! And you can learn more about me and my wo...
Mar 12, 2020•28 min•Ep. 63
Meditation, mediation, and arbitration are all valuable processes – but they are not the same. Fortunately, it’s been a while since I had a conversation with someone who confused meditation and mediation. Mediation and arbitration, however, are confused on a regular basis. They have similarities, but also important differences. The most important distinction is who determines the outcome in each dispute resolution process: in arbitration, it’s the arbitrator and in mediation, it’s the people inv...
Mar 05, 2020•5 min•Ep. 62
Mediation can be a positive and practical solution to conflict in many more situations than most people realize. Divorce mediation for couples who want to end a marriage is the best-known use of mediation. Mediation can also be an effective option in schools, workplaces, extended families, public policy disputes, and many more areas. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresoluti...
Feb 27, 2020•6 min•Ep. 61
Charlie Pillsbury discusses the vision and work of Mediators Beyond Borders and his path to involvement with the organization. We hear first how Charlie came to the conflict and dispute resolution arena and then to MBBI. Charlie is currently MBBI’s Treasurer (in addition to his other work outside MBBI). The vision of MBBI is “Building a more peace ‘able’ world”. And its mission states that “MBBI builds local skills for peace and promotes mediation worldwide.” You can learn more about MBBI at htt...
Feb 20, 2020•27 min•Ep. 60
Expectations out of alignment – mine with yours – or mine with reality – cause conflict. Seeing a vast selection of Valentine’s Day candy caused me to think about expectations. When they are not in sync, in a workplace, an extended family, or in a family enterprise, conflict can easily arise. The answer? Candid conversations. Speaking of Valentine’s Day, check out my friend Heidi Frei’s Valentine’s Day episode of The Single Soul Circle podcast, the voice for the joys and challenges of the single...
Feb 13, 2020•6 min•Ep. 59
The Institute for Family Governance (IFG) conference last month highlighted how extended families can stay together through wise planning and resilience. IFG describes its mission as implementing strong governance that endures, by empowering beneficiaries through inter-generational planning. The fourth annual IFG conference in New York City brought together advisors, consultants, and the families they serve. Though we attendees heard some familiar cautionary tales of what can go wrong when famil...
Feb 06, 2020•5 min•Ep. 58
Understanding individual perspectives on money can help families who value their legacy to stay connected for generations. Bhaj speaks from her personal experience and her work with families to find ways to help them forge their own paths forward as they seek to preserve their family and their wealth through generations.You can learn more about her work at https://www.focusandsustain.com/ or https://www.linkedin.com/in/bhajtownsend/ . You can reach Bhaj at bhaj@focusandsustain.com or 425.823.098...
Jan 30, 2020•27 min•Ep. 57
When someone raises a concern or makes a suggestion, we can choose to react, reply, or respond. It’s worth the effort to think through whether we want to react quickly and briefly, offer a slightly more thorough reply, or an even more thoughtful and engaging response. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com ! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator...
Jan 23, 2020•7 min•Ep. 56
Change is one thing that we can count on to occur. In interpersonal conflict, changing conditions can provide an opportunity to move past an impasse or stalemate. Priorities, people, outside conditions, and factual information can all change – and the chance to revisit the impasse opens up. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com ! And you can learn more about me an...
Jan 16, 2020•5 min•Ep. 55
Jürgen Strauss, of Innovabiz and the Innovabuzz podcast, offers experienced-based insights on innovation and cross-cultural communication. Jürgen’s work in the corporate world included managing teams across different cultures and countries in Asia and Australia. That experience and his ongoing interest innovation enrich his current work, helping small businesses to embrace transformational marketing. You can learn more about his business (based in, but not limited to, Melbourne, Australia) at ht...
Jan 09, 2020•30 min•Ep. 54
The inaugural year of the podcast was great; more insightful guests and helpful tips are on tap for 2020! Join the global audience and enjoy. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com ! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/ ....
Jan 02, 2020•6 min•Ep. 53
The concept of Christianity’s Golden Rule can be found in major religions around the world. Treating others as we wish to be treated is a universal principle in world religions and considered by some to be an ethical bedrock. In the context of interpersonal conflict, it’s important to remember that the idea is about how we behave in relationship to one another. It’s not that everyone agrees with us or that we convince everyone to see things our way. Do you have comments or suggestions about a to...
Dec 26, 2019•4 min•Ep. 52
A proverb about family wealth proclaims that it won’t last over the generations. The U.S. version is “shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations”. Other countries use other language, but the idea is universal and of long-standing: a family can build wealth but will not be able preserve it over generations. This possibility – some claim it’s a near guarantee – causes stress and conflict over measures to try to prevent it, as well as stress and conflict if it does occur. Additionally, thoug...
Dec 19, 2019•5 min•Ep. 51
Arielle Nóbile of Legacy Connections Films talks about how families can become closer by preserving family stories. We discussed how family films can bring families together, through the process of making them, viewing them, and having them preserved for the future. In some instances, families can heal a rift and move past a conflict that has plagued an earlier generation. You can learn more about Arielle’s work with families at http://legacyconnectionsfilms.com/ . To learn more about her work i...
Dec 12, 2019•27 min•Ep. 50
At times, we can handle conflict better when we let some things go. The release of the movie Frozen 2 has brought to life the song from the original Frozen, “Let it Go”. In situations of potential, active, or even past conflict, we can sometimes serve ourselves and the relationship we care about if we just Let it Go. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com ! And you...
Dec 05, 2019•5 min•Ep. 49
We benefit when we give thanks for the good intentions behind others' conduct, even if we don't always appreciate the conduct itself. When we don’t like the conduct, we may assign a negative motivation to it, when in fact good intentions are the source. We may be able to avoid damaging conflict if we can try to focus on the positive intention. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@doveta...
Nov 28, 2019•6 min•Ep. 48
Phyllis Weiss Haserot champions the power of cross-generational conversation and collaboration. Phyllis focuses on addressing knowledge transfer, succession planning, and attracting and retaining clients and employees of different generations. In our conversation, she provides some tips and ideas, and explains the terms “GENgagment ™” and “collaborageism”. You can learn more about Phyllis and access free offers at https://www.youcantgoogleit.com and http://www.pdcounsel.com . She welcomes feedba...
Nov 21, 2019•27 min•Ep. 47
