Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. No one in this world, so far as I know, and I have searched the records for years and employed agents to help me, has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plane people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office. Thereby, the mistake that
is made always runs the other way. Because the plain people are able to speak and understand, and even in many cases to read and write, it is assumed that they have ideas in their heads and an appetite for more. This assumption is a folly. Hl Menkin September nineteen twenty six, attributed to Barnum, or even movie mogul Louis b. Mayor or now to Trump. The shortened version of that, of course, is nobody ever went broke under estimating the intelligence of
the American public. I apologize to you. I should have seen this coming Sunday night when I tripped over that Time's Siena poll from last month of Hispanic voters. Trump, who can now lay claim to being the Grover Cleveland of our time, runs on anti immigrant nativism and hate, anti Hispanic, anti Latino, anti Mexican anti Puerto Rican, anti Latin American, clearly has plans for internment camps, clearly has plans for retroactively changing the status of citizenship, including of
kids who were born here. People who today are fully and legally here will not be tomorrow. And asked by the pollsters from Sienna, when you hear about this, do you think he's talking about you? About how bad immigrants are, how bad Mexicans are, how bad Hispanics are, how he's going to get them all removed, that they're poisoning the bloodstream. When asked by the pollsters, when you hear this, do you think he's talking about you? Two thirds of Latino said oh no, which is short for oh no, He's
not going to eat my face. For those under thirty in this demographic, the number was what seventy one percent? Oh no, He's not talking about me. He means other Latinos. Trump won Latino males by eleven points. And I have two words to say to them, and they are on behalf of the Trump administration, and the words are, by now, he will deport people from the same place you or your folks are from. He will deport people who have the same names you do, he will deport your relatives
and friends. And when when he runs out, he will change the laws and he will deport you and your parents and your children. Because he's nuts, because he employs a lunatic named Stephen Miller who violently, irrationally, homingly hates Hispanic people. You know who I'm talking about, the guy with the face that looks like a tiny penis. He was turned down by a Hispanic girl for a date in high school, or a girl he liked went out with a Hispanic guy instead. I can't remember the details
of the story. A fella I know who went to school with him told me once it's one of those two things. This originates from all of that. So he hates Hispanics exactly the way Hitler hated Jews, and Trump who hates them, but less fervently because hating them takes time away from talking about himself. He listens to Stephen Miller,
and he hears more votes. And not only does he get elected president while his brains are draining out his ears like a running yeast infection, but the very people he is going to torture and deport vote for him. Oh no, he's not talking about me. No one in this world, so far as I know, and I have searched the records for years and employed agents to help me, has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the
great masses of the plain people. Or you can quote the George Carlin line ran into Bob Costas on Fifth Avenue Tuesday. Bob quotes our friend George. Remember what he said about the intelligence of the average American. Think how stupid the average American really is, and then remember that fifty percent are more stupid than that guy Latino males plus eleven for Trump. It would be funny if it weren't true. So if you voted for him and you
aren't a white guy, two words by now. I actually had one belly laugh since election night, and I have the belly to prove it. There's a guy, Tim Carney fitting name writes for the Washington Examiner, which is a fascist propagandist rag which means it's headline writers are more honest than the ones that the New York Times are. And this is what Tim Carney wrote before the election. Though I'm not voting for Trump, I might be rooting for him, though one never knows until one checks one's
own heart as the results start coming in. But the top two reasons I'd be happy if he wins are One then he won't try to overturn the result. Two, then he can't run again. Oh, the upbeat positive approach. The dictator is half full, not half empty idea brilliant. Thank god we elected Trump so he won't try another coup and kill people. Yes, that's worth four years of hell or however long until Trump dies, which has to be soon. He's been acting like a melting statue and
looking like one for months. And then, of course we get President Vance and during Trump's funeral, while they're standing there saluting dead Trump while they're playing the anthem or YMCA by the village people. While they're doing that, while they're standing there, footin simultaneously strikes Poland and Chechia, and while Vance literally pees his pants. That video will make George Bush on nine to eleven look like Attila the
Hunt planning war games. Anyway, the second half of what this guy Carnei wrote shows that the he won't eat my face mentality transcends political division. Conservatives can't get their heads out of their asses long enough to see the world clearly, even for like thirty two seconds. Of course, soon to be dead. Trump, if he doesn't stroke out or his heart doesn't attack him first, is running in
twenty twenty eight. I mean, it may be a stunt election because he might have eliminated the real ones by then. But that's the point. He can't leave office, whatever happens to these charges against him. If he leaves office, they prosecute him. Did you see anybody in the mainstream press write this yesterday? Even now, they're still just rewriting the press releases. Oh, he's only going to serve the one term because he can't serve the conservative carnie. They're all carnies,
doesn't know. All the other conservatives are getting their arguments ready that the two term limit will not apply to Trump because well, let's make up some bullshit. How about the twenty second amendment means two consecutive terms. That was a popular one they were floating around at the beginning of the year. It's two consecutive terms, and then you can't serve again. But you had two non consecutive terms, could you could follow the second one with a third term?
I'm sure that's what they meant, right, Alito, and of course the Supreme Court will rubber stamp that. That's what Alito is there for. That and the insurrectionist wife's collection of anti American flags. Danny can't run again, moron, I have to tap the sign one more time. Yale historian Tim Snyder. Trump is in the classic dictatorial position. He needs to die in bed holding all executive power to
stay out of prison. This it means that he will do whatever he can to gain power, and once in power, will do all that he can to never let it go. This is a basic incentive structure which underlies everything else. It is entirely inconsistent with democracy. Unquote. Oh, and about the charges against him, it's not enough that Trump now owns the Justice Department and will have the new attorney general. I believe that's going to be silk fire Jack Smith.
Jack Smith is reportedly now trying to wind down his prosecution of Trump for you know, treason. I believe that there's actually a good legal reason for Jack Smith to do this himself, rather than to stand there and say, don't tread on me. That if he can withdraw wind down the prosecution, he may be able to preserve the charges for four years from now. I'm not sure about that. I haven't seen anything definitive about that anywhere, and I
went looking. I am now as MENCN is looking for the guy who went bankrupt underestimating the intelligence of the plane folk. I'm now joining him in my endless quest for information that I cannot find. In any event, what Smith is or is not doing, what Trump will or will not do to Smith is insufficient for Trump's henchman and his old Attorney General, Bill Barr. That's right. I had Bill Barr is my attorney general, and then later Silk from Diamond and Silk. I wanted them both, but
Diamond is dead. Bill Barr wants the charges against Trump formally dropped because whatever Trump has got on Bar, it still works. I mean, he issued a statement yesterday. Listen to this. It's like eight thousand words. American people have rendered their verdict on President Trump and decisively chosen him to lead the con for the next four years. They chose him to lead us with full knowledge of the
claims against him by prosecutors around the country. I think Attorney General Garland and the state prosecutors should respect the people's decision and dismiss the cases against President Trump. Now, the Department of Justice has four years been pursuing President Trump in cases asserting novel legal theories have already been gravely weakened by a series of court decisions. Those claims, like the state prosecutions plainly brought for political purposes, blah
blah blah blah blah. He has the goods on me, and they will tell everybody that I know what I did and the name of the youth organization to which they belonged. If I don't continue to felate Donald Trump whenever possible. Signed Bill Barr, because yes, Bill, that's how we settle prosecutions in this country. Hold an election. You've been charged with attempted murder. Let's have America vote on it.
Lego is Star Search from the eighties and nineties. I think Bill Barr, who is, by the way, one of our greatest criminals, should be investigated by the International Court of Justice and the International Whaling Commission. And one more story in the no f's are given any further edition of Countdown, the first of many. This is one of
the great examples of cowardice in American history. This is Jeff Bezos who stood up to Trumpian blackmail eight years ago at the cost of like a billion dollars when they had him cheating on his wife and they said, we won't print it, but you have to support Trump in the Washington Post, and he went, no, I'm giving the money to my wife instead. And then with or
without more blackmail. This year, Jeff Bezos bent over in front of the fascists and said take me, I'm yours and killed an endorsement of Kamala Harrison the Washington Post. Not that it would have been decisive, not that it would have moved twenty votes, but the point was, just
stand up. Put something once in your life ahead of e fing money, just once, because if this is your plan, in that last moment of consciousness before you die, you calculate how much money you're worth, you've wasted your entire life. And if there is some force in the universe, is there is some intelligence in the universe, if there is some design or creation in the universe, and that's your last thought, I would assume you're going to hell. Jeff Bezos,
big congratulations. This son of a bitch writes yesterday to our forty fifth and now forty seventh presidents on an extraordinary political comeback and decisive victory. No nation has bigger opportunities. Wishing re old Donald Trump all success in leading and uniting the America we all love. Oh my god, what an asshole, What a weasel asshole? Wishing real Donald Trump all success and that he doesn't expose me or kill me or whatever he told me he'd do to me.
Maybe Trump has something on Lauren Sanchez, like an RFK Junior Olivia's story or something who knows only. Of course, given Lauren Sanchez, it would have taken Trump like an hour just to completely list all the things they would have had on Lauren Sanchez. It is noted that after Biden won in twenty twenty, Bezos did not congratulate him, but in twenty sixteen he did congratulate Trump, and yet we were all surprised when he sold out the Washington Post. Anyway,
this is not a tough fix here. Burn Amazon down metaphorically speaking of course, I mean, if Bezos wants to, as suggested, donate the Washington Post to a charitable trust, along with the money to run it for X number of years. Cool that mitigates. Otherwise F Jeff Bezos, F Amazon I'd say we would all be best served by looking down on him. But the little bastard is like four foot nine as it is. Big congratulations to our forty fifth and now forty seventh president on an extraordinary
political comeback. Christ what's next, your little shit? Your political comeback soon to be dead Trump is more impressive than Hitler's and Napoleon's combined. Congratulations on defeating democracy. Oh and if you buy forty thousand Amazon brand pre fab no assembly required concentration camps, it's free. Son of a bitch, Son of a bitch. Jeff Bezos. A note about this podcast. It will continue, but not right now, Gonna take the weekend off. I do think the podcast has suffered from
being a little conservative. Needs to be a little bit more pointed. It also needs to be not five days a week. I'm getting old here, and probably not daily. So let's say this. I'm still working on this. I'll bring you at least two of these a week, and definitely let's plan on this a new one every Monday morning. Does that make sense? I mean, you don't want to hear more about this anymore than I want to talk
about this endlessly. When something interesting happens something you may not have heard, something that has struck some memory or perhaps some insight within me. I will bring it to you because Blutley, if the vice president had won, I was going to retire, or at least semi retire. I can't do that now, God damn it. I mean, I need a nap. What I will do today is come back with the second block, with a little more philosophy
on Trump climbing out of his crypt my lifeboat theory. Also, I have an alternative plan here for what's ahead on January twentieth, but I want to think it through a little bit more. So I'm going to hold off and i'll present that to you on Monday. With the caveat right now that there are so many different ways to prove that what I'm going to suggest will never happen, but I should put it on the record anyway. And maybe most importantly of all this, remember my story of
Little Kit, the new rescue puppy. Good news about Little Kit, the new rescue puppy. That's next. This is countdown. So I mentioned many many times that I'm old. I started professionally full time in nineteen seventy nine. I mean that's six decades worth of work. Not six decades, but in six decades. And so the world of business that I entered into in nineteen seventy nine is significantly different, was
significantly different than the one there is today. As bad as it is now, as unfair, as misogynistic, as imbalanced against women and members of minority groups as it is now, it is much worse than my first job at UPI Audio. I believe the total number of full time employees in the New York office, which was headquarters, was twenty. There was one woman she was not on the air, six or seven newscasters, three sportscasters, and a business guy and she was not on the air. The euro chief in
Washington was a woman. That was it. The next job I had when I went to work for Charlie Steiner at the RCAO Radio network when I was twenty two years old, and this does apply to Trump. I'm not
just spewing out random information here. The second job was much more egalitarian and forward looking and the head of the operation, the program director, was a woman named Joe Interroante, who was fabulous, and there were a lot of women executives in the news on the news and great newscasters, and young women and old newswomen, and it was really very well balanced. But at some point somebody I knew
got a promotion. A woman got a promotion into a department where there had not been a lot of women, and there were two or three, I believe it was sales, And as soon as she was promoted to running the sales department, she fired all the other women. And I was surprised by this, and I knew her well enough to say to her why. She said, Look, this is a tough business to be in. If you're a woman, I'd certainly, of all the things, I don't need its
competition inside my own office. I was startled by this. It had never crossed my mind as I considered the inequalities between men and women in broadcasting and in other fields. Now we're talking nineteen eighty one, it never dawned on me that a woman who succeeded and moved up the ladder would first turn their attention to getting rid of all the other women. I thought there was some sort of I don't think that we used the term sisterhood
at that point, but there it was. And the reason that I tell this story is not to criticize women and the vote and Trump, but just that it reminded me of when I first developed my theory of the lifeboat, and that this is about who voted for Trump and how Trump got back into power and why we will
be paying for it. You and I will be paying for it for at least four years, and there are people out there who will be paying for it, you know, for ninety five years, if there are ninety five years left on this planet, because that's another thing we haven't talked about yet. This is the last chance to avoid total climate catastrophe, and the guy in charge thinks that win mills cause cancer in birds or something, or wants
to nuke tornadoes because he saw it on TV once. Anyway, So this is my theory of how he gets support from people who he intends to punish and has now a track record of punishing and torturing and destroying. How he gets the suckers to line up and pay him for the privilege of being beaten up by him. How does he do this? And it's this woman from the RCAO radio network in nineteen eighty one who fired all the other women the lifeboat theory, and here it is
all of humanity divides into two groups. You are on the Titanic. It sinks with astonishing speed, with astonishing loss of life, with astonishing rapidity. People who are expert on the disaster that befell Titanic point out that the movie itself is like five times as long as the actual hit the iceberg. Everybody in the water or at least
realize that the ship is sinking. Everybody in the water ships underwater, that in real time just that part of the Titanic disaster would be about twenty twenty five minutes. So you're in the water and up from the freezing North Atlantic. You pop your head above water and your shock that you're not drowned, and next to you is an empty, fully stocked lifeboat with sixteen seats and provisions, and all of humanity everybody who has ever lived, falls
into one of two categories. Number One, you get into the lifeboat, You take the towel that is provided there, and dry yourself off, and you begin to calculate quickly how many people you can bring in there with you. There's sixteen sets of provisions, but what if we had how many women do I mean, with fourteen women, do we need a couple of men, even though it should be all women to a couple of men, because we're
going to need to row. What about kids, If children smaller amounts, we might we could have twenty two children and leave the adults in the water, just a couple of adults to pull the oars with me. There are ores here, and you're doing all these calculations while you are reaching out and pulling people into the lifeboat with you.
That's one kind of person. Half of humanity, one would hope, maybe more, actually one would hope it would be one hundred percent of humanity would fit into that category in our hypothetical lifeboat. The second type, the trump voater, bobs into this same situation underwater, comes to the surface, there's the lifeboat, hops in, takes two towels out, cleans them, cleans himself with the towels, drives himself with the towels,
drapes the towels around him. Now looks at all the provisions, calculates how many days they will last, and grabs the oars, and as people try to join him in the lifeboat, vote says, good, they left me these oars. Let me make sure I kill everybody trying to get into the lifeboat with me. That's also I think the defining feature between quote liberal unquote and quote conservative unquote. Do you
have any actual empathy? Do you have Have you ever, once in your life done something for somebody else at some loss to yourself? Outside of I think most conservatives love their children. I could point to a lot who clearly don't like Trump, But I mean, outside of that, would you do something for a stranger that might, in the lifeboat situation make you hungrier a couple of days while you're on that lifeboat. That's what happened. And the number of category number two in our lifeboat analogy, the
number of those in this country. Those are the ones who say, oh, he's not talking about me, He's talking about those guys. Take them. I know this is not brilliant philosophical insight. If you'd like to see it more startlingly clearly presented into political context, read the plot of nineteen eighty four. Let alone all of the catchphrases in the Ministry of Truth and everything else, all the things
the iconography of the novel nineteen eighty four. Read the plot of it, which is, don't do it to me do it to them. That's how this guy is back, because we have crossed that point in human history again. I'm sure we have been there many times before, but we certainly are now here in this country majority of people would take the oars and try to kill the other people trying to get on the lifeboat. On that happy note, let me do present you with something happy.
I told you that I had gotten a puppy with a bad heart as a rescue and his name is Kit, and the whole story about how he succeeds my seventeen year old mine and Mena's name in French colloquial for kitty. And suddenly they call up and they say, hey, we've got a cat or a dog named Kit, And I said, well, I think I'm supposed to take him. Then Kitty and Kit.
Then there was some indication for a while that the surgery that Kit's going to have to have on his heart was really risky and really dangerous, and his odds of surviving and are not good. It turns out there's a risk. There's always a risk. You're working on a heart surgery on a three pound soul. It's not a guarantee. But I ran into the surgeon and he told me
two things. One was, yeah, it's like nine and a half out of ten survivors and they get complete recovery for this, so we're hopeful, and the surgery will be in a week and a half. And if spunk matters, if vitality matters, he's got this nailed because he is. He may be less than three pounds, but he acts like he's about eighteen hundred pounds. But the reason for telling the story is not just that that's good news. And many people were very concerned about Kit when I
talked about him. He has no other symptoms, but the surgeon who looked at him, I said, he's so small and you're going to operate on him, and somehow it's so it's striking to me. I've had another dog, my other guy, Ted, had hearts surgery when he was ten months old. But Ted was I don't know twice three times as big as Kit. And it really struck me. It's like he's really small. And the surgeon said, absolutely true,
he's very small. But I'd like to remind you we do this surgery on kittens, and if Kit were a kitten, he'd be a big kitten fingers crossed. I've bet all the damage I can do here. Thank you for listening. Follow me for the podcast. Promo videos on Blue Sky YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, x, Instagram, threads, and Sky no longer on TikTok, I got banned for life from TikTok were sharing a satirical anti Trump meme
because TikTok sucks. Brian Ray and John Phillip Shaneil, the musical directors, have countdown, arranged, produced, and performed most of our music. Mister Chanelle handled orchestration and keyboards. Mister Ray was on the guitars, bass and drums. Was produced by Tko Brothers. Our satirical and fifty musical comments are by
the best baseball stadium organist ever, Nancy Faust. The sports music is the Olberman theme from ESPN two, written by Mitch Warren Davis Curtesy of ESPN Inc. Other music arranged and performed by the group No Horns Allowed. Everything else was pretty much my fault. That's countdown for today, just one five hundred and thirty six days until the scheduled end of the term of lame duck President elect Trump. The next scheduled countdown is Monday. As always, bulletins as
the news warrants. Well next time, I'm Keith Olderman. Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck. Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.