Couples who change in a real way are sometimes the ones willing to face the genuine possibility of ending their marriage. Not as a threat or a tactic, but as an honest reckoning with what they stand to lose and who they really are. After all, you can't give a meaningful yes to something if there's not a viable or real no. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife uses listener questions to guide a discussion about the decision whether to stay in or leave a marriage. She talks about what it looks like ...
Mar 25, 2026•42 min
Despite their reactions to our attempts to discuss it, our children are looking to us to help them make sense of their sexuality. And while talking to kids about sex can feel deeply uncomfortable — for reasons that are actually quite natural — avoiding these conversations comes at a cost. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Holly J. Moore of the Made for Moore podcast to discuss how parents can approach conversations about sex and sexuality with their children in a way that is honest, ongo...
Mar 10, 2026•32 min
Join us for a FREE Q&A about the Enneagram - click HERE for details! Brad and Kate have been working to understand themselves and each other better, using the Enneagram to better understand how they each respond to stress and disconnection. They've been talking more openly and defending less—but when tensions rise, Brad moves toward action and physical closeness, hoping connection will bring relief while Kate pulls back, wanting to feel emotionally secure before opening up. This leaves Brad ...
Mar 05, 2026•43 min
You married a whole person. The spontaneity, the creativity, the aliveness — and yes, the forgotten appointments and the missed recitals too. But learning to love a whole person — both their virtues and their vices — is the real work of marriage. When neurodivergence is part of the picture, it's easy to get lost in what your partner isn't doing, or to lean on a diagnosis to justify your impact on the other . But a real partnership requires taking full responsibility for the gifts and burdens of ...
Feb 24, 2026•41 min
The JFF Book Club starts 2/19, you can join HERE for six interactive discussions with Dr. Jennifer! Falling in love is easy. Staying in love requires our maturation. A few years (or decades) into marriage, it's tempting to wonder if we just married the wrong person—the passion has faded, the differences feel more irritating, and that deep sense of connection doesn't feel as natural as it once did. And while it is tempting to think that something is going wrong, really, marriage is just inviting ...
Feb 18, 2026•31 min
Many of us were taught—directly or indirectly—that sexuality and spirituality are at odds, and that suppressing our sexual selves brings us closer to God. But what if that story is wrong? What if our sexuality is actually one of the primary ways we learn how to love? In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Dan Purcell of the Get Your Marriage On podcast to discuss her book That We Might Have Joy and the role of eros energy—the aliveness that emerges when couples stop running their mar...
Feb 10, 2026•34 min
Change is hard and it's not just because you lack willpower. Change is hard because it asks you to step into a version of yourself that feels unfamiliar—the one who’s still learning to speak honestly, love wholeheartedly, and tolerate the discomfort that comes from facing ourselves honestly. The unease you feel when you start to change isn’t a sign that something’s wrong. It’s a sign that your brain is doing exactly what it needs to do to grow. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife uses questions ...
Feb 02, 2026•59 min
Many of us learned early on that being good meant following the rules, keeping everyone happy, and never causing discomfort. So maybe you find yourself saying yes when really, you mean no. Perhaps you agree to host the family gathering, even when you’re already overwhelmed, or give in to your teenager’s demands because you don't want to deal with the fallout of their anger. In this NEW episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Jody Moore of the Better Than Happy Podcast to explore the crucial d...
Jan 20, 2026•50 min
In Part 2 of Dr. Finlayson-Fife's conversation with Dr. Justin Coulson of the Happy Families Podcast , they discuss how couples can prioritize intimacy amidst the demands of parenting. Dr. Finlayson-Fife also tackles what to do when your child walks in on you during an intimate moment, offering age-appropriate language to help children make sense of what they saw without catastrophizing the experience. NOTES: You can purchase "10 Sex Myths That Are Destroying Your Sex Life" HERE (it's only $29!)...
Jan 13, 2026•17 min
Many of us have inherited cultural scripts that position men as the "main character" in sexuality while women exist to serve and support. This framework turns intimacy into work instead of play—and when sex becomes work, desire disappears. In this conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Dr. Justin Coulson of the Happy Families Podcast to discuss how our ideas about gender roles undermine genuine connection. The conversation unpacks why women's desire shuts down when sexuality is framed as caregiv...
Jan 06, 2026•26 min
Development isn't a gentle process. Development often happens when our worldview shatters. And that shattering hurts, but it's what helps us develop a truer map of reality. In this conversation with Taylor Church of the Of Stone and Clay Podcast , Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife walks through her own marriage journey to illustrate what relational growth looks like. She shares how marriage revealed parts of herself she didn't want to see and how learning to stay in honest conflict has helped her rela...
Dec 23, 2025•37 min
In this preview episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife works with Brad and Kate, a couple who feels a chill in their relationship that they can't seem to shake. Sound familiar? Subscribe today to unlock this FULL episode (plus the entire Brad and Kate series and hundreds of other episodes that are just as relevant and helpful!).
Dec 20, 2025•29 min
Falling in love is a gift. Staying in love requires something more—the willingness to grow into someone who can hold both connection and individuality without losing either. In this conversation with Taylor Church of the Of Stone and Clay Podcast , Dr. Jennifer draws from her new book and research on sexuality to explore how we move from the magic of falling in love to the deeper work of creating lasting intimacy. She offers wisdom on navigating difference, sustaining desire, and why the challen...
Dec 17, 2025•52 min
We've received many requests over the years to offer Dr. Finlayson-Fife's resources in other languages. Miriam Parkin has generously offered her time and talent to translate episodes for us and we will add them to the feed as they come in (in addition to our regular podcast production schedule). Our Christmas Sale is Live! Save 20% on all Full-Length courses (plus get an additional discount when you purchase two or more!) __________ En este episodio del podcast, la Dra. Finlayson-Fife conversa c...
Dec 13, 2025•44 min
The word libido can make it seem like desire is predetermined and out of our control—we either have it or we don't. In reality, desire is remarkably fluid—shaped by the meanings we attach to sex, our sense of self, and the kind of relationship we’re stepping into. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Tammy Hill of the Live Your Why podcast to discuss libido and sexual desire. They explore how biology, medications, aging, stress, and hormones can influence our sexual desire—but emphasize...
Dec 09, 2025•38 min
With the holidays ahead, many of us are getting ready for extended-family gatherings—and the fun, stress, and complexity that can come with them. Our extended-family relationships can be particularly challenging because they push directly on our differentiation. As Dr. Finlayson-Fife teaches, few things—aside from marriage—expose our difficulty with differentiation quite like spending time with the families we grew up in. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife answers audience questions about c...
Nov 25, 2025•55 min
Many of us carry sexual shame that began long before adulthood. The tone of our childhood homes, the way our parents handled emotion and mistakes, and the silence or anxiety surrounding the body all shaped how acceptable our desires—and our imperfections—felt to us. Those early messages often linger, coloring how we see ourselves and even how we imagine God sees us. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Chris Rich of The Mixed-Faith Relationship Podcast to unpack where sexual shame comes...
Nov 18, 2025•45 min
We've received many requests over the years to offer some of Dr. Finlayson-Fife's resources in other languages. Today we are thrilled to be offering our first episode in Spanish (a translation of THIS popular episode from the archive). We are incredibly grateful to Miriam Parkin for offering her time and talent to translate this episode and look forward to offering more resources in Spanish in the future! ___________ El conflicto surge naturalmente cuando dos personas intentan construir una vida...
Nov 11, 2025•30 min
When a marriage feels painful or uncertain, it’s easy to tell ourselves we just need more time to figure out the "right" thing to do. But there’s a difference between taking time to make a wise choice and staying stuck because we’re afraid to face the difficult reality of what we know is true. Real hope invites growth and honesty. False hope keeps us waiting for something to change when there’s strong evidence it never will. In this NEW episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife answers questions from...
Nov 04, 2025•58 min
In this NEW episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Jane Copier of the Happy in the Middle podcast to speak directly to women in midlife who feel disconnected from desire or unsure of how to bring themselves back into their marriages. She explains why this stage—though often uncomfortable—is full of possibility: a chance to stop living on autopilot, get honest about what you want in your life, and create more peace and connection in your relationship. If this episode hits home, you'd love The...
Oct 21, 2025•49 min
When pornography shows up in our lives or relationships, our instinct is often to meet it with fear, shame, silence, or attempts to control. But these responses don’t bring peace—they keep us anxious, afraid, and disconnected from ourselves and each other. In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Lauren Yarrow of The Blonde Apologist to offer a powerful reframe for those struggling to understand or navigate pornography—whether in their own lives, in marriage, while dating, or as parent...
Oct 14, 2025•56 min
Relationships feel easy when things are going well—when we feel understood and everything between us feels steady. They’re much harder when we’re frustrated, disappointed, or misunderstood. Yet it’s in those moments of friction and honest conflict that we’re invited to grow—to become wiser, more grounded, and more capable of real love. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Monica Tanner to share insights from That We Might Have Joy and explore how conflict in marriage isn’t a sign that s...
Oct 09, 2025•44 min
Few struggles cut as deep in marriage as mismatched desire. When one partner feels perpetually rejected and the other feels endlessly pressured, resentment builds. In this NEW episode, hosted by Rhonda Farr, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife draws from Chapter 3 of her book That We Might Have Joy to unpack how repression drives obsession, why intimacy is so difficult to tolerate, and how agency and integrity can open the way to real communion in marriage. JOIN US FOR THE ART OF LOVING RETREAT! Order T...
Sep 30, 2025•1 hr 3 min
Many Latter-day Saints grow up learning that the body and pleasure are threats to spirituality—that sexuality is something to fear or control. These teachings were often given with good intentions, but they were also misinformed, and they have made it harder for many to find peace in marriage and within themselves. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins the hosts of the All Things for Good Podcas t to explore how our own theology, rightly understood, offers a far richer view: that the bod...
Sep 17, 2025•36 min
Your kids are learning about sex—whether you talk to them about it or not. And if you’ve ever wished Dr. Finlayson-Fife could coach you through these important conversations (and honestly, who hasn’t?), this episode is for you. In this conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife offers practical guidance for parents who want to raise sexually healthy, thoughtful, and confident kids. You’l learn more about: How to foster a relationship where your kids feel safe bringing you their questions and concerns Sett...
Sep 09, 2025•53 min
In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Hunter Otis of the Pxrn Free Revolution podcast to explore the hidden pressures men carry around sexuality. They discuss why porn is such a tempting escape, how cultural and personal messages keep men stuck, and—most importantly—how stepping out of hiding can lead to greater freedom, honesty, and deeper connection in their lives and relationships. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: Why pornography becomes a counterfeit refuge How cu...
Sep 03, 2025•1 hr
For many women, sex feels like something to get through —another duty to manage, another expectation to meet. And yet, the more we pressure ourselves to “fix” our difficulty with desire, the more elusive it becomes. This is because desire cannot be manufactured. It will never come from obligation, attempts to appease, or from sheer willpower. It only thrives in freedom—when we feel true to ourselves, at ease in our own skin, and at peace with how we are showing up in our lives. In this NEW episo...
Aug 27, 2025•1 hr
In this NEW episode of the Faith Matters podcast, Dr. Jennifer joins Tim and Aubrey Chaves to share insights from her long-awaited book That We Might Have Joy . They discuss how sexuality is not a distraction from spirituality, but a pathway to it—that intimacy and desire can help us grow into deeper integrity, more honest marriages, and more profound faith. You can PREORDER YOUR COPY of the book HERE. If you'd like to get a signed copy, JOIN US AT RESTORE (use code JFF2025 to SAVE 10%!). We wil...
Aug 16, 2025•55 min
In this episode, listeners joined Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife for a Q&A discussion about her soon-to-be-released book, That We Might Have Joy (order your copy HERE!) . During the conversation, she answered listener's questions about the process of writing the book, how she decided on the topic, and what lessons she learned along the way. But, true to form, Dr. Finlayson-Fife offered more than just simple answers to questions during this discussion—she challenged limiting cultural messages ab...
Aug 13, 2025•55 min
We’re re-releasing our most-listened-to episode ever—and for good reason. In this powerful conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Carol Lynn Pearson , Stephen Carter , and Dan Wotherspoon to talk about the real purpose of marriage—and why the challenges we face in it are what drives our personal and spiritual growth. They discuss how marriage can stretch us in the best ways—pushing us to confront ourselves, to move through conflict instead of away from it, and to build something real and lasting...
Aug 05, 2025•1 hr 32 min
