It’s easy to see your partner as the problem when things feel unfair—but often, the patterns we feel stuck in are ones we’ve unwittingly helped create. In this NEW episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Monica Packer of the About Progress podcast to talk about what it means to be a thoughtful changemaker in your relationship. They explore how to recognize when you’ve been over-accommodating—and how avoiding conflict or ignoring your own desires can quietly erode both your well-being and the ...
Jul 22, 2025•38 min
In this NEW episode of the Phoenix Forte podcast, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife offers guidance for women navigating the emotional and spiritual work of healing after divorce, especially when infidelity has been involved. She discusses how disconnection from the body and sexuality is a tempting strategy—but one that ultimately keeps us from experiencing peace and connection with ourselves. **JOIN US in Provo, UT this summer!**...
Jul 01, 2025•31 min
Neurodiversity brings a unique set of strengths—and challenges—to intimate relationships. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife responds to listener questions about how traits associated with autism and ADHD shape the dynamics of marriage. Drawing from her own life and work, she explores what it means to love someone whose brain works differently than yours—and how couples can create more peace, closeness, and partnership across those differences. * Please excuse the poor audio quality—the recordi...
Jun 17, 2025•54 min
Many men carry inherited messages about masculinity and sexuality that quietly undermine their peace with themselves—and interfere with their ability to show up with strength and clarity in their marriages. In this powerful conversation with Rhonda Farr , Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife challenges those inherited ideas and reframes strength—not as certainty or control—but as the courage to look honestly at yourself. The courage to tolerate feedback, consider your impact, and use discomfort as a cata...
Jun 11, 2025•1 hr 1 min
What do you do when you’ve faced yourself, stepped into clarity, and still… your spouse won’t (or can’t) lean into the relationship? In this Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Greg and Amy Langford of the Undressing Intimacy podcast to talk about the painful reality many couples face: when you want more honesty, connection, and intimacy—and your partner doesn't seem to want the same. This episode dives into the difficult soul work of learning to tolerate what we can’t control, teases out the diff...
Jun 03, 2025•46 min
Sexuality is an important part of our spiritual and relational lives—but for many Latter-day Saints, it’s also a source of confusion and anxiety. In this new episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Kurt Francom of the Leading Saints podcast to talk about how church leaders can best support their congregation in matters of sexuality—not by avoiding the topic or using fear-based messaging, but by offering a more hopeful, honest, and empowering vision of how our God-given sexuality can bless and enrich o...
May 20, 2025•1 hr 6 min
Our sexual thoughts can be unruly and strange—but sharing these unique parts of ourselves with a spouse can be a powerful way to build intimacy and connection. In this episode, Dr. Jennifer answers questions from our Facebook Group about the role of fantasy in long-term relationships. She explores why fantasy often feels taboo, and how—when grounded in morality and friendship—it can become a meaningful tool for strengthening intimacy and deepening connection.
May 14, 2025•50 min
The lack of discussion about the Divine Feminine has negatively shaped our culture and limited our understanding of what it means to be female. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife breaks down the cultural misconception that femininity is equivalent to weakness and offers a beautiful perspective on the strength of feminine intelligence and the powerful role that strong femininity plays in healthy relationships, communities, and societies. TODAY ONLY SAVE 30% on the Art of Desire course!...
May 07, 2025•52 min
David has been battling a pornography compulsion for much of his life. He’s read the books, listened to the podcasts, joined the groups, and tried every program he could find. But despite his best efforts, his behavior continues. The repeated use—and the cycle of disclosure that follows—has taken a toll on their marriage. David is upfront when he slips—but this is in the form of turning to Alexa for forgiveness and reassurance. When Alexa distances following his disclosure, he often grows impati...
Apr 22, 2025•34 min
Many people long for more ease and passion in their sexual relationship—but unknowingly bring meanings to sex that interfere with both. When sex becomes a duty to fulfill, a performance to manage, or a tool to reassure a partner, it loses the very energy that makes it feel alive. The pressure to produce intimacy, validation, or an orgasm can quietly unravel the conditions that desire needs in order to thrive. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife uses questions from her audience to unpack why so m...
Apr 15, 2025•56 min
It's hard to know how to address doubts, concerns, or frustrations about the church, especially because we tend to link "goodness" with being unquestioning. Many worry that sharing their experiences or voicing their concerns will be misconstrued as a lack of faith or a full rejection of the gospel. The temptation is to stay silent in an effort to preserve harmony—or to speak up but in ways that ultimately shut down understanding, but neither of these approaches allow for the type of meaningful c...
Apr 08, 2025•59 min
When sex feels like an obligation rather than a choice, it erodes intimacy, fosters resentment, and leaves partners feeling distant and disconnected. In this powerful Q&A discussion, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife explores the complexities of "duty sex" including what drives it and the detrimental impact it has on relationships. She discusses the powerful meanings we attach to sex, and how these meanings can either undermine desire by creating a sense of obligation or foster connection through ...
Apr 01, 2025•53 min
Many women, especially those raised in sexually conservative cultures, receive the message—directly or indirectly—that being spiritual or “good” means distancing themselves from their sexuality. This framing often leads women to see their sexual nature as something to suppress in order to maintain their spiritual worth or desirability. As a result, many enter marriage believing that sex is a duty they perform for their husband rather than an expression of their own identity, pleasure, and well-b...
Mar 25, 2025•42 min
A woman's arousal is highly connected to her sense of freedom in her relationship. Yet so many of us create relational realities where women don't feel free — where sex is about managing a spouse's sense of self or "needs." In this mindset sex becomes another job to do. And as Esther Perel says, "sex can be work or play, but it cannot be both." When you create a relationship with your spouse where you feel free to be who you are, free from managing their sense of self, and free to show your stre...
Mar 11, 2025•52 min
Many of those who develop a compulsive relationship with pornography aren’t just looking for sexual gratification—they’re looking for a type of relief. These are often people who appear most put together on the outside—the responsible student, the dedicated churchgoer, the child who carries the family’s expectations. With little space to process stress or be truly known, pornography becomes a tempting, private escape from the pressures of life. But over time, this creates a growing divide betwee...
Mar 04, 2025•50 min
With a changing body and shifting relational roles, midlife can be a challenging time for many women, but it is also an important time of self-discovery and self-definition, a time that we can more fully embrace who we are, and experience tremendous personal and relational growth. In this conversation, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Dr. Mallorie Cracroft of the Uplift for Her podcast to discuss the unique challenges and opportunities that women face during midlife. They dive into the physical...
Feb 18, 2025•47 min
When couples are in an erotic, thriving marriage, it's not about new sex positions, it's about creating a relationship where there is a sense of aliveness and authenticity. And nothing creates this type of energy in a relationship more than intimacy--really knowing your spouse and being known by them in return. Passionate marriages are for those who are courageous enough to let go of the masking and the attempts to control and instead bring their full, imperfect selves to the other and tolerate ...
Feb 11, 2025•55 min
Most relationships start with a spark, a strong desire for sexual connection with the other. But as the years pass by the spark often fizzles, and our partners can start to feel like coworkers as our focus shifts to managing schedules, balancing budgets, and keeping up with the kids. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins host EmyLee McIntyre of the Limitless Female podcast to discuss how we can keep the spark in our marriages ALIVE amidst the responsibilities and drudgery of adulthood, and h...
Feb 04, 2025•50 min
Despite their reactions to our attempts to discuss it, our children are looking to us to help them make sense of their sexuality. And while the prospect of talking to kids about sex can feel daunting, these conversations—no matter how imperfect—make it clear to our children that we care about them, are invested in their wellbeing, and can handle discussing difficult topics with them. During this 2024 Restore presentation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife shares valuable insights on how parents can foster an o...
Jan 28, 2025•34 min
Last chance to join us for the Enhancing Sexual Intimacy Webinar - Click HERE for details! Many of us received messages about our bodies, modesty, and sexuality that were driven by fear and the idea that our sexual impulses are stronger than we are. For many of us, those fear-based messages made it difficult to feel at peace with our bodies and our sexual nature. If we want to teach about these important topics in a healthier way, it's imperative to focus on the good -- that our bodies and sexua...
Jan 14, 2025•27 min
**Learn more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Intimate Deception mini-course HERE** Navigating the aftermath of a disclosure or discovery of intimate deception (including emotional or physical infidelity, pornography use, financial deception, etc.) is a painful and complicated process. In this Q&A session, Dr. Finlayson-Fife addresses audience questions about emotional and sexual infidelity and gives guidance on what is required for couples to rebuild trust and connection after there has been a br...
Jan 08, 2025•42 min
** Join us for the Strengthening Your Relationship Retreat !** One of our most challenging tasks as parents is to keep track of what our responsibilities are as our children grow. Stepping back as they mature and allowing them the space to sort out their own lives and path can be incredibly difficult, especially if you are concerned that their choices will have a negative impact on their well-being. In our fear and worry for them, it can be easy to mistake manipulation with love. In this episode...
Jan 01, 2025•51 min
In this special Christmas edition Q&A, Dr. Finlayson-Fife took questions from her audience about difficult family dynamics, communication difficulties, and other relational difficulties that tend to come to the fore during the holidays. Merry Christmas, everyone!
Dec 21, 2024•56 min
When you’ve been betrayed, it can be instinctive to distance yourself from sexuality altogether. But what we need most in the aftermath of betrayal is deeper strength within ourselves, and this internal strength is developed by coming to peace with ourselves, including our bodies and our sexual nature. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Ashlyn Mitchell of the This Is Ashlynn podcast to discuss the obstacles and anxieties that many women face as they move forward in the aftermath of be...
Dec 18, 2024•44 min
During this Q&A Discussion, Dr. Jennifer addresses questions from her audience about various issues related to low sexual desire (particularly in men). She highlights the importance of understanding the biological, psychological, and relational factors that impact sexual desire and offers input on how couples can address their sexual anxieties and improve their sexual dynamic. If you would like to learn more about how to address the difficulties in your sexual relationship, consider enrollin...
Dec 11, 2024•56 min
The ability to self-author is a crucial developmental milestone—one that many adults struggle to achieve. To self-author is to develop an inner moral compass. It is to develop the self-trust that can guide us in making principled, honest choices in the face of life’s challenges without dependency on others to tell us who to be or what is true. The ability to self-author is important in being able to create solid, close relationships. And because it matters for our happiness, it is especially imp...
Nov 26, 2024•45 min
Our bodies are incredibly wise. Our limbic system in particular is very effective at keeping us safe from immediate danger. But while this protective mechanism serves an important purpose, it can also create lasting challenges when it remains vigilant and intrusive long after the real danger has passed. For those who have experienced sexual trauma, a common and intuitive response is to distance ourselves from sexuality or even shut it down entirely to protect against further harm. While this rea...
Nov 20, 2024•58 min
**Join us on Friday, November 15th at 11 AM MT for a FREE Facebook Live on Sexuality After Trauma | Click HERE to Reserve Your Spot! ** In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Jen Banks and Sarah Ziroll of The Best Birth Podcast to discuss the impact that pregnancy and postpartum can have on sexual desire and intimacy. This period of intense emotional and physical transition can often be challenging, but Dr. Finlayson-Fife teaches how with self-regulation, compassion, and understanding couples...
Nov 13, 2024•32 min
When you or your loved ones' relationship to faith shifts, it can feel as though the world is collapsing beneath you. Because, in a very real sense, it is. When we are early in our development (which most of us are) our primary concern is feeling a sense of safety and then belonging in our social groups. So when our thinking no longer aligns with our faith community (or family, or spouse), it pushes on the very question of who we are and whether or not we still belong in our group. These are unc...
Nov 06, 2024•59 min
This week, we are rereleasing one of our most popular episodes of all time! In the episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Steve and James of the Unashamed Unafraid Podcast for a deep dive into the complexities of relationships, particularly those in which there has been dishonesty or infidelity in the past. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: * Dishonesty in marriage * Rebuilding trust after betrayal * Understanding compulsive sexual behavior * Honesty and accountability in relationships ...
Oct 24, 2024•1 hr 13 min
