E45: Relaxed Intimacy: Sexting, Massage, Teasing, and Edging - Oh My!

Blew my mind. And you blew my mind too. I want to get our sexting chat up. It was quite bold of me to be sexting you when I was at work. I shouldn't have been. I was being naughty. I was being naughty, yeah. This podcast episode features a candid conversation between myself, Chief, and Wano. As we delve into the details of a recent, intensely intimate and sensual experience, we'll read out our explicit sexting exchanges and discuss the build-up of sexual tension and anticipation.

as well as a thoughtful and deeply relaxing massage and the psychological and physical aspects of our BDSM and DS relationship. We explore themes of edging, teasing and relaxed intimacy, along with the importance of understanding and meeting each other's needs. So listen in to learn how these practices can enhance your own sex life and deepen your sexual experiences with a partner.

If you're a consenting adult who wants to learn more about these topics, then stay tuned. You're listening to Chief. from kinkyevents.co.uk helping you create the dom-sub dynamic you've always fantasized about. I've had a few sexy dreams lately. There's definitely a recurring theme. Oh, you should read your side. We might as well do it. I mean, I can try to do your voice. What was I doing to you when tied up?

That didn't sound like you. I can't do your voice. Hang on, I've got to get to it. Start again. Read through. I had an interesting dream last night. Yeah. It involved me being tied up and you having your way with me.

it was hot and a bit thrilling didn't really want to wake up from it this morning emoji Embarrassed face. Cheeky, hand-covering mouth face. That was from you. What made it thrilling, i.e. how was it different to normal? It was a bit dark and aggressive, and I couldn't get away. You had me begging. Sounds great. Not sure if for freedom or more. Could have been either. Both? I've had a few sexy dreams lately. There's definitely been a recurring theme. Yeah, probably both.

What was I doing when you were tied up? Torturing me, I'm pretty sure. Tormenting me, teasing me, touching me, and then pulling away so I was writhing in want, telling me about how you were going to take me in my ass and I'd have no choice but... No choice in the matter with typos. Touching you where? With my hands? My nipples, my thighs, with your fingers and lips and teeth.

Teeth? That's a random one. Just a little bit. Little nibbles. Ghosting across my skin, getting me hypersensitive to the touch. Yeah, when you sent that to me, I thought... Because we were talking about what I was touching and I was like, I'm touching your teeth. I had this vision of me like hooking my fingers into your mouth. Or was I doing it with my tongue, like running across your teeth? I wasn't sure. That's why I said that's a bit random. I was like, is this a new...

pink that you haven't told me about. Did you get it then? Only now. Only just now. I meant you were nibbling me with your teeth. Well, yeah, I've just got it now. I've just got it now. Yeah, I didn't know that. Oh, that's funny. Sounds very intense and hot. I was thinking about taking your ass last night as it happens, forcing you. Oh, yeah? I wonder if I could take it. It's been so long. I don't think you could.

probably need to stop thinking about it i'm starting to get wet and i'm at work yeah newsflash this is when i was at work sexting you and i I guess it's because lately I have been having some sexy dreams and we haven't really seen each other a lot recently. We also haven't had many times to have connection recently. And so I've been getting horny. you know, as one does. And I just felt like that was the day I was feeling a bit bold.

And I wanted to have a bit of fun. Also, we had seen each other the night before. And so I was feeling... You were emboldened. I was emboldened. I was indeed. Are we going to read the whole thing out? Yeah, we might as well. All right. I said it would hurt, but I don't really care. My cock's needs are more important. At which point I blushed. And what if I squirm away? You really think you'd be able to, given how small you are and...

All my weight on you pinning you down? I think not, especially if your ankles are tied together. You can try, though. Just gives me excuse to be even rougher with you and teach you not to do it again. But what if I don't want to? I could scream. Pause. So...

We know each other very well, and we have consented in the past to sexting like this. We play with non-consent. uh a lot of times in our sex scene and with our dirty talk and it's something that turns both of us on consensual non-consent and i want people to be aware as we're reading this out um we could tell by each other's tone

that this was appropriate, you know, and that we're both okay to do this. I wouldn't normally, I wouldn't text this to someone without obviously being, without having some sort of discussion about what's okay to. to sext yes and if you're listening and this is going to uh cause you issues then don't listen anymore yes there are some triggering themes in here because we're we are playing with consensual non-consent yes yes cnc

I'd cover your mouth with my hand and tell you to be quiet because it's your role to be a good girl and do as you're told. I can be a good girl, I think. We'll see. Though on the other hand, I've definitely been naughty lately. I've been touching myself. That's very bad. Seems like a spanking. A hard spanking is in order. Is it? Yes, or some worse corrective action. Why is touching myself bad? It's against the rules, without permission, as well you know. Is it wrong when you touch me then?

No, because your body belongs to me and I can do whatever I want to it and I can help you learn what you like. If daddy says so, I guess you know best. Exactly. I can teach you to do it properly. Better you learn from me than someone random. Yes, daddy. I'll teach you a lesson tonight. Blushing face. Make sure you eat something before you get here. Will do.

Oh, that was it, really. Yeah, are you coming straight after work? Yeah, that's the plan. Yeah, then it was logistics. Oh, but then also instructions. Oh, I've just quit away from it. You said, okay, when you get here, no talking unless there's something urgent you have to say and you'll call me daddy.

And then I blushed and said, yes, daddy. And then you also said, buy some snacks. And then you asked me my ETA. And then I said, I have a request. Can I please use the lube before we start so I can prepare myself? And then you said, you'll do as I say. And I said, understood, daddy. And then you said, ring the bell and wait. Don't let yourself in. But I didn't read that message because I was already at the door. And so then I used my keys and I let myself in. Yeah.

And that's how last night started for us. Yeah. Having kind of been teased the whole day. I mean, that conversation was in the morning. And so then I did get a bit. I was.

feeling quite squirmy when we were having that conversation by the end I was like oh and then I had to you know do work and then afterwards I was feeling a little bit of anticipation perhaps a little bit of anxiety because I don't know what's coming and I've been quite anxious lately. I know what's coming. Yeah. And I was expecting because I had said, you know, I mean, touch myself and you said that there was a hard punishment or a hard spanking was in order. And so I'm like, shoot.

You know, like I'm excited because we haven't had a chance to do this in a while. So it sounds like fun. But I'm like, I didn't know what the night was in store for me. So I was feeling a little bit. of anticipation and a little bit of nerves and butterflies and didn't know what was coming and so then that had me thinking the whole evening as i was heading towards yours like oh what's what's he going to do what did you think i was going to do

um i'm like i expected that maybe when i entered the house that you might you might grab me by my hair and pull me into the front room, have me, um, lean over the sofa, kneel over the sofa, you'd pull down my pants and give me a spanking there before I assumed. I figured since we had sexted in the morning and you didn't have anything in your schedule yesterday, so I thought maybe you'd think you'd prepare some things because you do that if you have time to plan ahead.

you can get yourselves sorted and figure out what sort of, I don't know, scene elements or whatever, what sort of things you want to happen. So I expected that you might have some instruments out.

ready to go, whether that be in the front room or in the bedroom. But I was expecting a swift... punishment and i was actually worried i was worried about the the neighbors we have some new neighbors and and i'm like oh and you can hear through the you can hear yeah so i'm like i'm like i always get nervous about the the spanks i'm like what if what if they hear this

spanks and what do they think is going on and that always keeps me it keeps me a little bit in my head when we are doing like spanking um because I'm always worried I never want to be discourteous I think the same is from the bedroom though I think you can hear through the walls so hopefully their bedroom's out there yeah it's the other neighbour that his bedroom's out there well oh well it's London you know it's yeah everyone lives in yeah

I'm not screaming bloody murder. I find it a turn on hearing people have sex, but then... I don't. I'm a voyeur, so... I'm like, yeah. Well, it turns you off. In my old flat, I can hear it. Yeah, no, I don't like hearing other people have sex. Really? I'm like, ugh, ugh. Oh, I do. Yeah. It's not like imagining. It's like.

ah it's i i listen oh i mean i don't listen when i watch porn i have it on mute i can't stand especially if it's porn stars but even if it's amateurs like if it's someone next door it's real I know, I don't... Especially if you know, like, you've seen them. Yeah, I don't want to think about that. I think that's the difference. I care less if strangers hear me than if people that I could come across hear me.

So in like a hotel room, in a hotel room, I'm like, yeah, sure. I'm talking about if I heard my neighbor. I wouldn't want to hear my neighbor. Yeah, it depends if they're like old and wrinkly. I wouldn't want to hear my neighbor if they're young and attractive. If they're young and attractive, I would. I'd find that disarming. I don't know. All right. Leave a comment. Yeah. Do you find hearing your flatmate slash neighbor having sex a turn on or not? Yeah. If you're attracted to them or not.

So anyway, I was expecting a punishment. Yes, which I forgot about. But I was kind of thinking, well, I'm just going to, the punishment will be teasing you, which is more of a punishment. But, so I haven't really done the punishment yet. Well, I was kind of excited. So, oh yeah, spoiler alert, since Chief has spoiled it, I was not punished. Or at least I wasn't punished in the way that... I had expected. Instead...

There was a beautiful night of torment awaiting for me when I walked through the door. And I was thinking afterwards, after last night, like, oh, there's still time in the weekend. You know, the punishment, the punishment.

can come later um yeah so i know on back to the night i knew that you'd been at work obviously and therefore would want to well shower like yeah because you're going to be gross and sweaty probably so I'd already planned that into the thing but you then were texting me like oh I need to go to Lou and I was like I've already planned that

so i should have trusted you should have known that i would have i know but i was feeling anxious because my ibs was acting up yesterday and those are things that you can't like i i was i was really keen like we had been sexting about rough anal And I had had a dream about rough anal. I had all the toys out from anal. And I was really keen. And yesterday, I thought we'd be good. And then yesterday, mid-afternoon, I was like, great. Yeah. That's the way it goes. And I can't really...

I can't control my entire life. I could have been nervous about last night, but I also think it's because I had been eating funny a couple of days before. And you can't always, you can't always.

have anal when you want anal unfortunately and that's something that's a realistic yes and that's a good point because so i get you know although although technically we have consented to free use um i still bear in mind the fact that i still take your needs into consideration it's not like if you say oh i don't want it tonight i'm like well i don't care

if it was in a role play sense like oh i you know i can tell when you're when there's a genuine concern or when it's yeah like made up concern yeah and again we we've known each other for a long time so if you're new to this then Even if you've been in a dynamic for a while, being a dom is not about always having your own way with someone. You've got to take into account how they're feeling and their things. So part of the reason for making sure that someone has a...

you know you have a shower so you feel comfortable because I knew it was going to go down on you and I know a lot of women don't feel comfortable and I wouldn't I don't feel comfortable if someone's given me a blowjob and I've just you know I'm all sweaty and I've just had a full day so That's why I got you to start outside the bedroom. Yeah. And the bathroom's right next to the bedroom. So you had a shower whilst I... And I had set out candles. Yeah, so... Because I wanted it to be a mix of...

Oh, you go. Yes. So I already knew that I wasn't supposed to talk when I entered the house because he had said that in the day. So when I did enter the house, took off my shoes, you did give me permission to greet the cat, which I thought was very kind of you because I did think outside the door. I was like, oh, I can't, I can't say hello to the cat.

Because I can't talk. And then you said I could greet the cat. So I greeted the cat who couldn't care less about me last night. He wasn't interested at all. I was like, okay, thanks. And then you led me upstairs. You had the bedroom door closed. You told me to take off all my clothes, at which point I reminded you that I would like to use the loo because I was feeling uncomfortable. And I knew I was like, if anal's on the table, I need to use the loo.

Then I got a little swat on the bum for that because you had already planned it ahead of time. But you also told me it once. Yeah. So you... were preempting me forgetting i i was preempting me being anxious about it yes i mean i was anxious about it and so i was i i wasn't trusting your response because you had just said You hadn't said yes. You said that I had to listen to you. I felt like this was a pressing medical, this is a health element.

anyway anyway so i used the loo um took a shower and then knocked i i almost entered the door but the door was closed and you hadn't had the door the bedroom door open and so i was like oh actually i should probably knock and so i knocked at the bedroom door at which point you opened it and to my surprise instead of um

the spanking bench being out in the middle with all the instruments for uh whipping you know for all the all the spanking implements out instead i saw that there is a lovely massage um waiting for me nice then we have a little headrest a proper massage headrest for the end of the bed which i highly recommend yeah it's just the it's just the face the face pad with a frame that that

um you slide under the mattress so it's really nice if you don't have a full massage table but you whenever we do normal massages your face gets squished against the mattress so this you hang your head over the edge of the bed and rest it on this this uh

you know massage headdress it was really it was a birthday gift that i got for you find it on amazon and yeah and i actually highly recommend it and especially if you like to serve a link to the one we got perhaps if you want to serve um your partner If you like to give massages, I would always get frustrated giving you a massage because you would hike up one shoulder.

to keep your head to the side obviously but then it meant that i can't get a proper grip on your spine it's everything's out of alignment so having this little head thing meant like perfect i'm like now i can give you massages much more frequently and i won't be annoyed with how i think we've used it once since we've used it a few times and it's really nice so there were candles set up and everything ready for a massage which is

Definitely not the punishment that I was expecting. No, not a punishment at all. No, at all. It was actually a really beautiful... blissful massage it was wonderful I thought you'd be you'd been at work you know it had been a long week yeah it actually it was it was so touching that I actually was

kind of started crying like i had tears in my eyes when you were giving me a massage like halfway through because it was so sweet and caring and thoughtful of you and i wasn't expecting it at all and i could feel the care coming off of you and i was like I'm like, this is when I feel so appreciative to have you as a partner because you are always thinking about my needs and what I might.

be needing or wanting and you're always caring for my health and my well-being and I was like actually he knows me better than I know myself because at the end of the week even though I had wanted to connect with you and so i was trying to goad you into giving me a punishment with a sexting I was. Of course you were. I knew. I know. But it's because I needed, I wanted to connect. And it had been a while. I'm like, oh, this will give us a chance to spend more than a little bit.

You know, if we have some sort of, if we put in BDSM element into it, we'll have more than just a small. You also give me loads of metallurgy. So I felt like you deserve to get.

It was really nice. It was really thoughtful. And it was actually definitely what I needed at the end of the week rather than a... a spanking which probably would have spiked my anxiety more like it would have been good in the short term but it probably wouldn't have relaxed my body which was already feeling a little bit stressed yeah but i also knew that it's easy to orgasm if you're relaxed yeah so

Part of the aim was to make sure you relaxed, but also to like not make it sexual because I knew you knew. that I was probably going to make it sexual so the longer I didn't make it sexual the more the anticipation would build and oh my goodness oh when I say that I mean I've never had a massage like this, obviously, but I've never had a massage like this. It was so good. It was so long. And it was a proper massage. Full body, yeah. Full body. But even though...

When we've given each other massages, usually it does end in a sensual genital massage. And we've done it to each other several times. And this didn't end that way. You were very careful to avoid touching my vulva in the massage. But I was... deliberately getting near it you were getting near it but you were very very careful to not touch it and I was so relaxed at that point even though I knew that's what you were doing I

Wasn't going to comment or say anything because I was so blissed out that I knew that you were planning something, but I was just going to go with the flow. I was so relaxed into it. And then you told me to. turn around and to move my onto my back and I was already so so so relaxed that I already couldn't really speak I'm like yeah whatever you say I was putty absolutely putty um yeah yeah and then because obviously when you're on your back um

It's easy to do your head. It's easy to the back of your neck. But then I was doing a bit of breast massage as well. You'd mentioned in your sexting the nipples. So I was...

I deliberately avoided them for a long time. And I was doing more of the legs, more of the inner thigh. So it was slowly getting more sexual. And then I was sort of doing the breast muscles with some light nipple touching. So light so that I... almost didn't feel it because my breasts are actually incredibly they got hard but i still couldn't feel them because my breasts are incredibly insensitive so you skirting your fingers on my breast i don't actually feel that

It's like almost like dead skin. Yeah. Whereas for a lot of people, they were super sensitive. But when you pinch my nipples, then I feel it. And then I actually quite like that sensation because it's the only time that my breasts feel like alive and sensitized. So that you started to kind of... pressing like pressing them a little bit more and i can feel them and then um so i think i then

Well, I was also, I can't remember if I then got the towel and got the oil off you or, but I think before that I kind of mounted you a little bit and I had box shorts on and I was hard. So I kind of. Lent up against you so you could feel my cock. It was actually quite sweet. While I was still on my back and you were by my head. You leant over me and gave me a kiss, which I wasn't expecting. And then you were above me and you gave me some kisses. That's when you started.

bringing your lips into it so you basically kissed all the way up and down my body and um started teasing me yeah the neck The ears. The elbow joint. The inner thigh. Yeah, inner thigh. And I was starting to get... So that's when the teasing really started. Yes. So you started kissing me. Again, still avoiding your pussy. Yeah. But getting like...

starting at the knee on the inner thigh and then like kissing slowly towards it and then switching to the other leg. Yeah. Bypassing. And each pass, each pass you got closer and closer.

um what was still avoiding my genitals and you were hard i could feel you through your box and then you started um dirty talk you started whispering to me Before we wiped off the oil, you mentioned something about how I had to be a good girl and let you... um teach me these things it was playing into the idea of me being ultra innocent and yes and um can't say anything can't speak or you know don't make too much noise you don't know who will hear yeah yeah

So yeah, wiped off the oil because otherwise it goes all over. That's the only downside with massage. The oil goes everywhere and you get on the carpet. It's a nightmare.

because it's not like I have a massage table or a sheet so it's like just on the normal sheets so it wipes you off and then you span so your head was kind of at the foot of the bed at that point you span around so your head was at the top and then i restrained you using the underbed restraints which are so great like they're so easy

So if you don't have any and you're just getting into rope bondage, they kind of fit under the bed. By this time, it had already been well over an hour. Yeah. And in the time that you were teasing me with your lips... kissing up and down my body, little nipples. I'm feeling your beard prickling on my skin. I had been so relaxed and then you had started teasing me so slowly.

so slowly that my skin, like I actually got... hypersensitized and so you were tying me up and doing a little bit of dirty talk saying like that you had to tie me up for my own good blah blah blah and but because I had been built up so slowly I was literally shaking.

I was shivering, but it wasn't from like anxiety. Like, and I shiver when I have low blood sugar, but this was not because of that. And actually, just a reminder, I'd also, although it was like 20 degrees yesterday, I put the temperature, I had the mini heater. in the room because obviously if you're naked you get warm during a massage but at the beginning of it I didn't want you to be cold and again like anything

So many little things can block orgasm or inhibit pleasure. So temperature, sound, light. These are all elements to consider when you're creating a scene. And heat is, I think not being cold is probably a big one. So yeah, that's why I had this. And I do get caught having a massage.

you know one of these air heaters i was very comfortably warm yeah it was i was a bit hot i was a bit sweating but i know you get colder than me so yeah i think i had it on 24 to start with which doesn't sound that hot but with a heater you know yeah and we have the candles going which are generating a little bit of heat a little bit of aroma yeah it was a very relaxing atmosphere but i got so sensitive that i was

literally shivering as you were putting me in the restraints and you did before you tied me down you gave me some Water, I had bought an electrolyte drink, so I drank some drinks. Because it had been a while. Yeah, you asked me if I wanted a snack, but I was fine. Well, you might have had something, but not much. So I know you get low blood sugar. So it was just, again, making sure that you're okay. Yeah.

And I think I did your feet as well. So you're like an ex. Yeah. Yeah. And actually, there is something funny going on with my feet that I couldn't, my eyes were closed. I kept my eyes closed. And I could feel that something felt funny with the restraints on my feet, not uncomfortable, but it felt they were more firm than usual. One of them, like it felt like they were, it was on something.

And I don't know if it's just because I was feeling like the webbing rope that it's attached to underneath. But I was actually, I actually found it quite comforting because it was quite a change in the, everything feels plush around me, the mattress. But then there was like one.

There was one little piece by my foot that was solid and it was kind of grounding me in the sensation. Probably the buckle maybe got under there. Yeah, something. But it was actually quite nice because otherwise I would have been at that moment. I was so... I was already kind of going out of my body that that little connection around my ankle was tethering me. It was keeping me from getting totally spaced out. Yeah. And I did, I had.

did have the so what was going through mine I did have the rope out and I was I know you like the sensation of rope so I was thinking of doing the rope but I just thought because you were so relaxed and it the bed doesn't really have anything to attach the rope to and i wanted you in the x i thought i'd just use the restraints it's much easier and i was gonna i was thinking at what point do i put the butt plug in

And I did think, you know, maybe even before the massage to do that, but then that would have brought in the sexual element too early. So that's why I held off. And we didn't do it at all again because of the issues you mentioned. So once I was tied down to the bed, you continued to tease me with your lips and very light.

strokes across my skin getting me very uh sensitized because you'd mentioned that in the texting that's why your dream so that that was kind of the inspiration for this the what you'd mentioned This was so much better than my dream. It was so much better than my dream. We've talked about this before. Communication doesn't have to be verbal. Often we will get ideas from each other via text.

And you can take those elements. Because if someone is mentioning... dream they had to you and they mentioned specific things it's probably because they like those things right so incorporate them into what you're going to do they're not mentioning them because they might say oh it was horrible fair enough it's a nightmare but most of the time if someone's telling you in that context is because they like it so that's why that's what inspired this whole thing

Yeah, especially like where the points of attention were. When I said my nipples and my thighs, your lips and your teeth. And then you brought those. I didn't do the teeth. You didn't. Wipe my cock across your face. I did do that. You did. I did. You started dragging your. well come on yeah at this point you you had undressed yourself so even as you were touching me you started touching me with your cock but like on my body as you were like hovering over me so i could feel the pressure of it

I can't remember, was I kissing your clit at this point? Not yet. You still hadn't even touched my clit yet. Yeah, I was literally avoiding it. You really held off on that. Yeah. You did. so you were tied up i think i did then and then he went down on me yeah and oh my goodness it felt amazing but so the the kiss i did the kisses again as i've been doing the massage getting closer but this time

i so a technique that i've used before and i can't remember where i learned it but is i just because i knew you were hypersensitive rather than just immediately going in and you know licking you just put your tongue flat on their clip and just hold it there i think i held it for there for like 10 seconds because

Then you, one, you don't know what I'm going to do. It's unexpected, but also you're so sensitive already from having the buildup. It doesn't really matter. It doesn't really matter. Yeah. Yeah. It was, it was wonderful. It was so good. And it was still very like light though. You weren't really, you weren't eating me out. No. You still kind of did this like trapezoid thing where every single... layer would get closer and closer to like the yeah so what was interesting

So I always try and read your body language. So, for example, I did a lot of your neck kissing and I couldn't see which part of your neck is the most sensitive. And then when I was doing the kisses...

And weirdly, your inner thigh was less sensitive than... the mons what do you call it mons pubis mons the mons i call it the mons you know the bit the bit where your pubic hair is that was super just above your clit that was super sensitive on you yeah um probably because again i hadn't touched it at all and also So I had just depilated that morning. So actually my skin was hypersensitive there to begin with all day because I had actually kind of overdone it with the chemicals.

Oh, that's why my tongue burns this morning. Did it really? No. Yeah, I kind of remember what I did. So I went down anew and then, so obviously at this point it's going to be more sexual, but the aim was to just... cheesy for as long as i could it was so slow it was so we've definitely not had we've not had sex this slow and torturous um ever

It was beautiful. Yeah, and it wasn't really sex. It was wonderful. And I was feeling I was having such a grand time. But actually, I was squirming away because... in i had got into our role play that we had kind of fallen into by habit um i was

thinking you know oh you know daddy's not supposed to be touching me there and i was trying to squirm away like no no don't don't touch me there of course i want it in reality but that's kind of why i was squirming away when you were by my mons is i'm like no you know oh no oh no i'm tied down and i can't squirm away what am i to do yes yeah um

So we did, I think we did more dirty talk, maybe even before I went down on you. And then I was, I think I was, I know that you like one finger inside you while I'm going down on you. So I did that. I mean...

this is it's this is graphic as it is i was going to say tmi there's you guys have heard so much about my body at this point but um it felt really really nice and this is feedback for you as well just like around right at the entrance of my vagina it was it felt really good when you were going in and out it's like right at the very entrance and that was actually the the most sensitive bit oh interesting so like

My clit was sensitive, yeah, but the one finger, I think why it feels so nice is that it's like rubbing just enough so that I'm like getting the sensation at my... vaginal opening and i never touch myself there it's it's too like you have to strain your wrist to try to do that so i don't ever touch myself there you know i always stick to the clit so you're

Your fingers are the only ones that ever touch me there. And so it actually, like, hides the sensation. I was, again, I was debating, do I go... into the genital massage but then i was like well then the oil gets everywhere and i want to get down on you so i didn't do a genital massage i just kind of went for the fingering but very light initially um

At which point you tried to introduce the butt plug. And then I had to kind of pull myself out of the scene and be like, wait. Yes, yes. No go. At this point, I didn't know. I knew you wanted to go to the loo earlier, but I didn't know it was because of IBS. So I didn't know. So you said no. I was a bit disappointed. I know. I know. Sorry. Just because it was the whole fantasy thing. It was the whole fantasy thing. I was disappointed too. Believe me. And I'd got the double.

not the double-ended dildo so we've got this we've hardly ever used it but it's it's like a it's a dildo but at the base it has a a ring of rubber so it's it goes

around my cock so it basically means I have it sits under my cock like a second it's a cock ring it's a cock ring with a dildo yeah so you can do double penetration yes and there's only one of you yeah and I was I was super excited to be using that. We can use it another time. Maybe today. Exactly. I can't remember what I did next. When I said, hey, anal's off the table, then we switched.

you um let me suck on your cock for a little bit as you were kind of reformulating your plans i think in your head a little bit of what what to do um and that was a delight as always I should also add at this point, like you're thinking, oh, why? This is a BDSM podcast. Why are you talking about this massages and oral? That's not kinky. But again, as I say in my book, Sensational Scenes.

Plug, plug, plug, plug. Go and buy it. Go and buy it. It's great. It's good. It's very good. It's not what you do and it's how you do it. So it's the energy you bring to it. Again, this is my take.

you know people will disagree but my take on ds is it's all about the energy that you bring to something and you can make pretty much anything a ds uh dynamic by the as i said the energy bring to it so kissing someone or oral very non-kinky activities but if you're bringing a certain energy to it like a teasing energy again people might even argue that teasing is not really ds

or BDSM, but it's going into edging, which is bordering. It's a power play, right? I'm the one in charge of when you orgasm, so teasing.

one person is being teased and therefore in my mind they are the one with less control and especially because you're tied up as well so don't think of bds whenever i talk about bdsm people think whips and chains and dungeons and it really doesn't have to be like that and we definitely practice more i'd say more traditional sex with these psychological elements of

power play in them rather than the bdsm of whips change latex leather which i've got nothing against but i think for the kind of people who listen to this podcast tend to be vanilla couples who want to experiment on that side of things so this is why we're talking about this kind of stuff also it's just it's just so much lower effort and this is this has always been our issue

Like even though we like BDSM elements, it's a lot of effort. Yeah. It takes a lot of energy. It takes a lot of planning. There are a lot of logistics involved. There's a lot of cleanup. You have to get the toys. You have to. Oh my goodness, to actually do like big DS scenes. It's actually, it takes, it's too much. And we don't, we're, we're lazy. We don't have time. We've got things to do. We've got projects that we're working on. When we have.

time if we actually get to have sex that week you know like we're going to bring in the elements that are more psychological and you're using reading each other's body language to turn it into a ds scene rather than uh depending on props or toys that you first you have to dig out of this toy chest you have to make sure that the cat doesn't get in and so i had the things i had set up i had to

10 meter lengths of rope. I had that double-ended dildo. I had the butt plug. You had the harness. I had charged up the magic wand vibrator. I had a collar. I had a thigh harness. I had cuffs. And you had the whole day to prepare this. I had the underbed restraints. I had... I think that was obviously the lube. I think so that was and I cleaned all the toys. So that's everything I had at my disposal ready to and the paddle. I had the paddle. I had the spanking bench.

We didn't use any of it. I didn't see any of it. We didn't use any of it. It stayed off to the side and we didn't need it at all. At all. It doesn't mean it would have been bad if we had. But again, I'm just trying to say you don't need all this stuff. A lot of good sex and... and bdsm as well is about in again this is just my opinion but a lot so much of it is mental and you can create amazing sensations i would much rather use the psychological

psychological elements to give these amazing sensations and you don't need a lot of equipment to do it. And I want to stay in the moment. If I'm having a moment of connection with you, a nice intimate moment, I like when we're both in it. When we are actually both engaged and when we play into more of the role play with toys and props side of BDSM, both or either of us.

disengage slightly to the actual act itself because we're more we're more focused on having to play the role yeah it feels for me it feels less authentic because i'm i'm acting but I think that's I'm not saying that's for all Doms and Subs I'm just saying it's because for me

that's just not my style and it's not some people it is yeah and they you know they don't they wouldn't feel that pressure like that's what they love doing and therefore when they when they're in that flow that's what feels right to them so if that's you please don't think that i'm

dissing that or anything like that it can be ultra sexy it can be super hot very exciting for me it's and it's that extra mental effort of if i'm doing flogging i have to make sure i get it right and i have to make sure i don't hurt you and i've got to do thinking about the cleanup and So that does play on my mind a little bit. But then again, that's because I'm not like...

I'm not super, super into impact play. We're much more, both of us are much more relaxed and casual about our ideas of BDSM. We're more interested in the psychological element. Yeah. Yeah. So back to the scene. And at this point, we haven't even had sex yet. No, we haven't had sex. No penetration. It was a lot more oral. We did 69ing with me on top. Because... I like rubbing my cock on your face. I love you rubbing your cock on my face. Yep.

Oh, we thought you had a blindfold. I'd put the blindfold in when I restrained you. No, I mean, I was keeping my eyes closed regardless. And at some point after the 69, you did take off the blindfold and my eyes stayed closed. When it gets in the way of rubbing my cock on you because it kind of hits it. But then I kept my eyes closed as it is because it was part of the... You did. And it's part of the sensation. Yeah. Yeah.

So yeah, that went on for another 20 minutes. I don't know. I don't know what time was in this, in this whole, in this whole grand evening of the most.

Beautiful sensations. I have no idea how long it took. I mean, it was the whole evening. Yeah. Maybe the whole thing was about two hours, I think, something like that. Just over two hours. That's a long time. Yeah, yeah. To be... to be well my aim again I did I was wanting to try and give you multiple orgasms and but I know that's difficult for yourself and I was but I was also wanting to edge you as well yeah

So we probably, I probably, we did edge you because I did a combination of oral and we did have sex as well. But I would stop just before you came. And I think we probably. Did about six of those, like six up to the point of orgasm, but just backing off. If I were to think about the whole time structure, we started at 7.30 until 9.45. And an hour of that, a good hour, was a pure massage. 30 minutes of that was teasing and playing quite externally.

and oral right towards the end the last 30 minutes was including penetration and more more teasing so like of that whole time very basic missionary and also with your legs up oh it was a good position yeah because it was you can get very deep like that you can get deep but also um in you were rubbing your

I'm hip bound. I kept on rubbing against my clit. Well, that was missionary. Yes. That was so good. So, yes, for the guys out there, I mean, I'm probably teaching you stuff, you already know, but if you can get into missionary position and then... Hook one leg. So you've got one leg kind of half over your shoulder and then push in as far as you can to try and get it so that you're...

Again, mons. I think that's the word. Your pubic bone. Yeah, your pubic bone is rubbing on their clit. Yeah. So it's not actually the cock going in and out that is the... enjoyable bit it's so you you're like all the way in but you're just making you're just moving in up and down like keeping contact with their

And the female, I am doing my best to raise my pelvis as high as possible because that's a good sensation and I'm seeking it out. I will say the only downside to that position, and it is the default position that we go to.

all the time when you have sex you always hook my leg like it's it's it's a very standard normally you're face down i know but but when we are in missionary you usually hook my legs yes the downfall to that is after time it does really ache the hip yes and i will always be very very sore the next day so keep that in mind if you have any mobility issues or if you have any joint issues because it's a lot of strain on the hip but it does like stretches out the hip yeah definitely that's deeper

So because at one point I did have to tell you my hip was aching and we needed to stop. Yes. Because you started to go a little bit more rough. But it still didn't get. We didn't really end up doing any rough sex at all. It was just really intense, really intense. And I was really trying to hold off the orgasm as much as possible. But I was so sensitive that you would touch me for like...

five seconds and i'd have to say stop you know if you don't want me to come then you need to stop now at one point you were just still in me with your cock and i told you to stop and i i had like a mini orgasm there like i had a what's it called like a suspended when it um when when uh a failed orgasm And I actually, and I was, got frustrated in that moment. I was like, no. And you were playing up the daddy figure there too. But.

I could feel that I was clenching around you and I had no control over that, but I was trying to hold myself super, super still. And then, so when it actually got 0.2 of me, when I wanted to have an orgasm, then it took me that much longer because I had already had. a mini orgasm yeah i was at that point i was because the thing with edging i always worry about is especially if you edge too far well no more some women

A lot of women find it difficult to orgasm from penetration and from sex in general. So the whole setting the scene and making sure someone's warm and comfortable will help them orgasm as a whole. But... um the build-up is super important and i wanted you to orgasm from not clit stimulation but from me inside you which is which is why we've done all that build-up because we've done all that build-up it was Then...

you were you were then going to be able to orgasm from penetration possible i essentially did and how do you like and the thing is it was a failed orgasm because you stopped moving yes but it was definitely from the penetration the the and i've remembered my point the downside of edging is that you can go too far and what can happen what i was worried about was i stopped when i when you could have orgasm from penetration which would have been a win yes and

then we I was then going to build you up a second time but I was worried you wouldn't get there and that's happened in the past so it's like what is the goal if my goal is to train you is the wrong word, but make you... This is the wrong language. I'm not trying to make you do anything, but if I want you to be able... Yes. I was trying to get you comfortable.

With knowing in your head that you're able to come from penetration alone. And to teach me with muscle memory that this is something that is possible and that I can do. But if someone's never come from penetration... doing edging with penetration probably isn't the best approach because there's a chance

that you will miss the window and they'll become oversensitized. And then that reinforces the fact that they can't do it. So that is the danger. And also by that point, I was tired, like my hamstrings. From thrusting, guys, you'll know that it really takes a toll on the hamstrings, especially if you're not just doing the in and out, which is very easy. It's more the grinding and holding yourself in a certain position that can be quite tiring. And you were getting close.

I was alright but the last 20 seconds I was like oh god please come have I gone too far because not no please you come because I was like I can't keep I literally can't keep this up for much more yeah and because i was getting super super tired it was so hot so i was like oh god please come and i don't think you did i think i did it but it's because we had to go back to the manual yeah we did and but i i kind of did And I would have been able to. I was thinking in my head.

In my head, I had a moment where I was like, wow, I'm going to come just by him penetrating me. But that's the thing. So I kind of botched it because I edged you too far. But it's not that you edged me too far. It's actually... It goes back to our dirty talk because we had been playing that I couldn't come without daddy's permission. And this whole time I had been telling you, stop, stop, stop. You hadn't given me permission. And when in that mindset, like, and so I'm saying.

No, you don't want me to come. And so I was telling you, wait, hold on. And actually at that moment, if we would have kept on going. I did give you permission at the end, but then you couldn't. After. After I had already done the fluttering, after I had already done the... But on the last set of penetration, I wanted you to come. And you said you were going to, but you couldn't. No, no, it was past the point where I had already had a mini orgasm.

when you were inside me and when he said i can feel you clenching me yeah you could feel me clenching me because i had a mini a mini orgasm right then but that mini orgasm because he hadn't kept on going in that moment anyway if you think about it yeah so anatomically but but it was a good moment it did help me it reminded my body that

I can have an orgasm when you're penetrating me if I'm really relaxed. And if you've teased me and if I've had this beautiful evening, then guess what? I can have a wonderful, beautiful orgasm. And it was... Such an incredible evening. It was so nice. And I was putty. I had melted completely. And then we... I had another orgasm. You orgasmed. We were both shaking and super, super sweaty. And then we had a nice little cleanup. Very little aftercare because aftercare... It wasn't that intense.

It wasn't needed because this whole experience had been care. The whole evening you had been caring for me. It was a beautiful, sensual massage. So I didn't need too much cuddling or comfort afterwards because guess what? We had been doing it this whole time. Had it been a spanking session, we would have spent a lot more time. I would have been like, no, no, stay in bed. And I need to cuddle you more. But we rested for a little bit. Then we went downstairs and watched some TV. Yeah.

And I think the moral of the story is, as a dom, it's your... Well, in any relationship, it's important that you understand the psychology and... The psychology of the sex that you're interacting with. So for any sex, if there are distractions in the room or you're worried about work or you're thinking about something else or it's too cold or you're worried about, you know, IBS.

it's going to be, you're not going to experience the pleasure. So as a Dom, I kind of see part of my role is to, what can I do to alleviate any of those concerns? And getting someone super relaxed is... I wouldn't say it's the fastest way to get someone to come, but it will result in them... orgasming more often than not again orgasm isn't necessarily the goal but you know what i mean they'll be able to experience their body fully because they get into their body but this is this isn't

These aren't BDSM practices so much, but for anyone listening to this, being able to do that and to help your partner, even if you're not into a DS relationship, being able to help your partner relax.

just results in so much better sex it just you've got to be super super comfortable so again if we layer on the ds element if you're a dom and you're able to give the gift to your partner of taking the pressure off them by you being in charge you telling them what to do by your actions helping them to create an environment where they can relax you're going to have much more success in the future

Then you can add on the techniques. Then you can add the spanking and stuff. And again, I'm saying this is not...

I'm not saying my way is the only way to do it. And there are times when we just go straight into spanking and it feels great. So it's really important that as a couple you have... you have all of these tools in your arsenal you know how to do the psychological you know how to do soft massage you know how to do spanking you know how to do it rough like figure out what the person is into and be able to layer on these different elements and

I call it intent switching, switching up the different styles of dominance you want to do. Don't just be the person who's like, yeah, I'm always going to spank them for five minutes and that's it. And again, I hesitate to say that because if that's all you do and you and your partner love it, it's absolutely fine. It's absolutely fine. But we're definitely coming at this more as we're talking to kind of regular couples who want to.

release the shame and guilt about sex and bring in some elements of this ds these are the kind of skills i recommend you should try because then you'll find something that works for you yeah and it was it resulted in a beautiful wonderful evening it was great

Yeah. Yeah. So well done. Well done. Thank you for all the messages you give me because I definitely come a lot easier when you... give me it's the same with when I get blowjobs I find it very difficult to come for blowjobs but if you've just given me a massage sometimes it surprises even even you it's like oh yeah yeah but without any warning and then all of a sudden I whoa like I've I've been surprised

by your orgasms before after a massage because like it literally comes with that warning that like whoa and then you're so relaxed and I'm not worried I'm not I'm not In my head thinking, oh, I'm not going to come. So it just releases. Yes. Yeah, it's wonderful. It's great. It was. And thank you. It was a beautiful evening. It was a wonderful way to to end the week. And what's funny is at the end. Right.

right at the end after he had finished in that little like post orgasm clarity that you have yes yeah i know but i i did think i was like haha way too you know reverse me chief you know because like all throughout this whole thing like the whole morning i was thinking i'm going to get a super intense punishment you know i've touched myself without permission and i've teased him and blah blah blah and here i am having like the most blissful orgasm i've ever experienced

and so like way too way too in that in the in the always gotta keep them guessing i know that's the thing like even in something that was really really wonderful you still managed to have the upper hand and to show your dominance by making that wonderful experience be something that completely like blindsided me because i wasn't expecting it at all yes way to go You're welcome. Chalk one to chief. All right. So there we go. I hope you've enjoyed that. It was a bit...

Self-indulgent? I don't know if it was self-indulgent, but hopefully... The whole evening was a self-indulgent. On this podcast, if this is the first time listening, we don't want to just talk about generic BDSM. We want to talk about our experiences. in the in the hope that you can take what you find useful and you you know then what a what it looks like in a in a real life couple who aren't just putting it on for show yeah hopefully you relate to it in some way

That's our goal. Exactly. So thanks for listening. If you are interested in our kind of style of DS, then go to kinkyevents.co.uk. I have a book. for dominance. I have a course for submissives and I have a shibari course, which is rope bondage for people as well. And we just launched a bundle so you can buy the two courses. These are digital online courses. You get lifetime access for a single fee.

bundle and you can buy both the art of submission and sinful shibari as one package for a big discount so and you get the free you get the free book with it as well so yeah go check it out and there's if you if you if you don't have the money you don't want to pay that's absolutely fine there's

loads of free articles on there as well. And I think this is like episode, we're into the 40s now of the podcast. So do subscribe on Spotify and have a listen to the other podcasts. And as always, we'd love it if you could share.

You know, if you've liked this episode, please do share it on somewhere like Reddit or anywhere. Yeah, I love to. Every time I see a comment on Reddit that's mentioning the podcast, I'm always like, look, look, look, there's another one. It makes us want to record more. It does indeed. So there we go. So until next time. Lots of love. Thanks, everyone. Lots of love. Thank you, Chief. Bye. Bye. You're listening to Chief from kinkyevents.co.uk.

helping you create the DOMS of dynamic you've always fantasized about.