Episode 200! I can’t quite believe we’ve reached this point: two hundred conversations, stories, and reflections shared with you. And for this milestone, I wanted to talk about something that’s been weaving through all of them: the power of metaphor. From Iron Man’s first suit to the parables of Jesus, from Joseph Campbell’s wisdom to Pete Holmes’ “finger and moon,” metaphors shape how we see the world and ourselves. In this episode of Clemenz With a “Z” , I explore why we need metaphors, how th...
Aug 14, 2025•16 min•Ep. 202
What do a punk rock lyric and the teachings of Jesus have in common? More than you might think. In this episode, inspired by Frank Turner’s raw line from “1933” : “Be suspicious of simple answers, that shit’s for fascists (and maybe teenagers)”. W e dive headfirst into the beauty and challenge of the messy middle. From the “greatest commandment” conversation in the Gospels to the wisdom of mystics like Teresa of Ávila, Thomas Merton, and Richard Rohr, this is an invitation to live in the tension...
Aug 12, 2025•22 min•Ep. 201
What if no one sees the whole picture and that’s the point? In this episode, I explore the ancient parable of the blind men and the elephant through the lens of my time in the ICOC, where we weren’t just taught that we held the truth we were the truth. But faith shaped by geography, cultural inheritance, and rigid certainty eventually started to crack. This episode is about those cracks. About what happens when we mistake our piece for the whole. About how the voices we were taught to ignore mig...
Aug 08, 2025•17 min•Ep. 200
In this episode of Clemenz With a “Z” , I take a deep dive into a sermon titled Sex By Design , delivered at a Christian marriage retreat. The pastor laid out what he called the “6 Divine Truths About Sex” (and their “demonic counterparts”), while his wife stood silently beside him the entire time. I walk through each so-called truth, unpacking the theology, the metaphors, the unspoken subtext, and the ways these messages still shape, and often harm our understanding of sex, intimacy, and worth....
Aug 06, 2025•41 min•Ep. 199
In this episode, I wrestle with one of the hardest, and most liberating truths I’ve come to face: that the pain, division, and harm in our world isn’t just the result of some ancient curse or cosmic enemy. It’s us. We’ve been taught to blame Satan, to blame Adam, to see ourselves as born broken. But what if that story isn’t the whole story? What if we carry both light and dark within us, and what if the power to heal begins when we finally stop blaming and start owning? From wolves and theology ...
Jul 31, 2025•20 min•Ep. 198
What if we’ve been looking at sin all wrong? In this episode, I reflect on the way sin was framed for me growing up, how it became a label, a burden, a weight I carried long after forgiveness was promised. I talk about my time as a teacher, how I tried to help students see that their choices don’t define their worth, and how that same truth applies to us as adults. I explore the original meaning of sin: “to miss the mark” and what it means to reframe sin not as a list of dos and don’ts, but as t...
Jul 29, 2025•25 min•Ep. 197
To be honest with y'all, I’ve been sitting with this one. This episode is a response and a critique from of a podcast episode I recently listened to titled “Boyhood Resurrected.” As someone who’s deeply invested in the work of raising boys, mentoring teens, and wrestling with what masculinity means today, I came to this episode curious, but also aware of the mouthpieces of this conversation. What made me uncomfortable is that I agreed with some of what they said. I understand the concerns about ...
Jul 24, 2025•39 min•Ep. 196
What if the thing you were always taught to fear… was actually the thing trying to lead you home? In this episode of Clemenz With a Z , I dive deep into the power of doubt not as a spiritual failure, but as a sacred invitation. I reflect on growing up in a faith system that demanded certainty, punished questions, and taught me that doubt was a sign of weakness. But over time, I’ve come to believe the opposite: that doubt isn’t the enemy of faith. It’s often the birthplace of something more hones...
Jul 22, 2025•26 min•Ep. 195
In this episode of Clemenz With a Z , I sit down with Jeremy Steele, also known as The Skeptic Pastor for a conversation that’s honest, wide-ranging, and refreshingly unpretentious. Jeremy is a United Methodist pastor, author, podcast host, and the founder of Not Church , a faith community for people who’ve been hurt by religion but haven’t given up on the sacred. We talk about what it means to unlearn harmful theology, live with doubt, and stay curious without becoming cynical. If you’ve ever w...
Jul 15, 2025•1 hr 22 min•Ep. 194
What does it really mean to “share your faith”? In the church I grew up in, it didn’t mean storytelling or connection—it meant recruitment. Evangelism wasn’t optional; it was expected, required, and tracked. In this episode of This Was Supposed to Be the Place , I unpack the intense pressure we felt to bring people to church, the shame tied to “not producing fruit,” and the way our relationships became tools for expansion. From Kmart training days to paintball invites to spiritual performance di...
Jul 03, 2025•23 min•Ep. 193
n this powerful episode of We Were In a Cult? , I sit down with Tara to unpack the layers of pain, survival, and spiritual manipulation she experienced—both before and during her time in the ICOC. Tara speaks openly about growing up in a home marked by abuse and instability, and how that history made her vulnerable to the church’s promises of love, family, and transformation. This conversation is raw, honest, and at times deeply unsettling. But it’s also brave—and necessary. If you've ever wonde...
Jul 01, 2025•2 hr 6 min•Ep. 192
What does it mean to be a man of God and who gets to decide? In this episode, I take a hard look at how churches and Christian influencers are shaping men under the banner of “biblical masculinity.” From warrior sermons to purity culture to performative strength disguised as holiness, we’re naming what’s really going on: cherry-picked verses, selective literalism, and a whole lot of ego. Recorded during Men’s Health Month and following my Father’s Day sermon response, this conversation asks what...
Jun 30, 2025•21 min•Ep. 191
So… yeah. It’s Pride Month. And here I am, a straight, white, former church kid debating whether or not to even say anything. Because let’s be honest: the internet doesn’t need another straight guy weighing in on LGBTQ+ stuff like he’s doing anyone a favor. I didn’t want this to be some performative, “Look at me, I’m a good ally” thing. That’s not what I’m after. That’s never been the point of this podcast. But I also don’t want to stay quiet. I grew up in a church that had plenty to say about g...
Jun 26, 2025•33 min•Ep. 190
What happens when your childhood faith is built in hotel ballrooms, conference centers, and synagogues that weren’t actually yours? In this episode, I take you back into the strange, sacred spaces where I grew up trying to worship, belong, and stay out of trouble (usually). From stuffing my pockets with leftover banquet snacks to watching Beavis and Butthead after Wednesday night devos, this is a story about wandering faith, borrowed spaces, and the building we almost bought—but thankfully didn’...
Jun 23, 2025•28 min•Ep. 189
This episode started with a bench press, outside a church before a father's day service. Yep. That actually happened. But it’s not just about one pastor or one sermon, it’s about the weight men keep being told to carry. In The Weight Was Never Yours , I respond to a Father’s Day message built on fear, performance, and pressure, and explore how that kind of faith doesn’t free men, it breaks them. This is a call to let go of the false scripts, the macho theater, and the fragile strength dressed up...
Jun 20, 2025•26 min•Ep. 188
What does it mean to be a man in a world built by louder men? In this episode, I wrestle with the emotional weight so many of us carry: the silence, the shame, the inherited scripts we never asked for. Paying Off the Debt of Idiots? isn’t a lecture on masculinity; it’s a meditation. On what I’ve seen. On what I’ve felt. On what it means to speak honestly in a world that often punishes men for trying. From my years as a teacher to the quiet grief I’ve witnessed in boys and grown men alike, this o...
Jun 18, 2025•25 min•Ep. 187
When the Thing Isn’t the Thing (But Still Shapes You) is one of the most personal stories I’ve shared on the podcast. It’s about my journey into teaching—a path I thought was my calling, my purpose, my thing. From college classrooms to student teaching to working in actual schools, I kept telling myself I was where I was supposed to be. I had poured years of my life, money, passion, and heart into becoming a teacher. But slowly, and then all at once, I started to realize something didn’t fit. Th...
Jun 16, 2025•31 min•Ep. 186
After sharing the story about my son’s pink sparkly Vans, I thought I was done talking about it—but turns out, I’m not. In this follow-up, I dive deeper into where all this fear around colors and self-expression really comes from. I talk about protection, insecurity, parenting, and the moments that still mess with me as a dad. And yeah, I bring up those pastors and dude bros who keep pushing the same tired messages. But more than anything, this is about choosing presence over fear, and building ...
Jun 12, 2025•16 min•Ep. 185
In this episode, I’m reflecting on something that’s been stirring in me for a while—the idea that we’re not as important as we think we are. And that’s not a bad thing. I’m talking about the quiet, humbling truth that while we’re not the center of the universe, we’re still part of something much bigger and more beautiful. Drawing from contemplative spirituality, the natural world, and even the teachings of Jesus, I explore how true significance isn’t about standing above everything—it’s about fi...
Jun 10, 2025•21 min•Ep. 184
In this episode of Clemenz With a Z , I’m doing something I haven’t done in a while: I’m talking about the good. Specifically, I’m sharing about the camp I grew up going to "The Swamp". This was the one place in my time in the church that truly felt like a safe space. A place where I was seen and heard, where I could be my weird, creative self without fear. This story isn’t just about camp—it’s about the power of being seen, the impact of adults who show up for kids, and the importance of creati...
Jun 06, 2025•42 min•Ep. 183
This episode starts with a viral Instagram reel that’s been stuck in my head for days. In it, a pastor watches a video of a mom sharing how her son—just four or five years old—picked out a pink backpack. You hear the dad in the background, upset about it, saying he needs something more “boyish.” The pastor looks at the camera and says, “This is why we need dads.” But what does that really mean? Because when I hear that line, I don’t just hear a statement—I hear an old, familiar fear. A fear I’ve...
Jun 04, 2025•22 min•Ep. 182
In this episode of Clemenz With a Z, I take a hard look at how fear-based faith and the obsession with the afterlife can steal the present from us—how it turns life into a constant performance instead of a real, lived experience. Using a gut-punch line from Frank Turner—“If you’re all about the destination, then take a fucking flight”—I unpack how Jesus’ own teachings and presence call us back to the moment, to the street, to the beauty of now. This isn’t about throwing away faith—it’s about rec...
Jun 02, 2025•19 min•Ep. 181
This is a symbolic story about the faith I inherited—what it gave me, what it took from me, and the weight it carried. Told through the metaphor of a backpack, it reflects the journey of growing up believing I had everything I needed, only to discover that much of what I was carrying wasn’t mine to begin with. At first, the backpack made me feel safe. Certain. Part of something bigger. But as I got older, it began to hurt—physically, emotionally, spiritually. The tools stopped working. The answe...
May 21, 2025•21 min•Ep. 180
In this episode of Clemenz With a Z , I sit down with Emma for a powerful conversation in the We Were in a Cult? series. Emma was born into the ICOC—raised as a Kingdom Kid by parents who helped plant churches overseas and in the U.S. For her, the church wasn’t something she joined; it was the world she inherited. We talk about what it means to grow up in a high-control religious environment, how deeply it shapes your sense of identity and worth, and the long, painful process of untangling truth...
May 19, 2025•1 hr 43 min•Ep. 179
Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussion of sexual trauma, spiritual manipulation, family dynamics, and feelings of violation. Please listen with care. In this powerful and honest conversation, I sit down with Ari, host of The Disallusioned Podcast . Ari shares her journey through two different high-control religious environments—growing up in a strict evangelical space and later becoming involved in a cult as an adult. We talk about the lasting impact of spiritual control, what it take...
May 15, 2025•1 hr 28 min•Ep. 178
There’s a verse in Luke where Jesus says, “The kingdom of God is within you.” I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. Not because it’s complicated, but because it’s so simple—and somehow, still so hard to believe. This episode is about that struggle. About what it means to stop chasing something you already have. I talk about rest, about the creation story, about what I learned from The BEMA Podcast, and about why so many of us—including me—still feel like we have to prove our worth to Go...
May 14, 2025•22 min•Ep. 177
For a long time, I thought the Bible was supposed to fix everything. It was the answer key. The rulebook. The voice of God, clear and final. That’s how it was taught to me in the ICOC—the International Churches of Christ—where the Bible wasn’t just important, it was everything. We studied it, memorized it, submitted to it. It was presented as perfect, literal, inerrant—and if your life didn’t match up with it, you were the problem. But what happens when you start to question the way you've been ...
May 12, 2025•31 min•Ep. 176
In this episode of Clemenz With a Z , I take you inside a sermon that hit me sideways — one of those messages that sounds “biblical” on the surface, but leaves your gut twisted underneath. The pastor said men and women are “equal… but not equivalent,” and that women were designed by God to be helpers while men hold headship. And that’s where everything started to unravel. I share how that message clashed with not only my lived experience — as a former elementary school teacher, a husband, and a ...
May 07, 2025•30 min•Ep. 175
This episode is another part of the We Were in a Cult? series here on the Clemenz With a "Z" Podcast. I sit down with Eugene, who joined me all the way from Russia to share his story of life inside—and beyond—the International Churches of Christ. In this series, I sit down with former members of the ICOC and ICC to listen to their stories, make sense of what we experienced, and hopefully find some healing along the way. Eugene was a freshman in Saint Petersburg in the early 90s when he first enc...
May 05, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 174
Lately, I felt this deep pull to get away—not to escape life, but to find something underneath all the noise. So I packed up and took my first solo trip to a cabin that’s been in my wife’s family for generations, tucked right up against a river. No Wi-Fi. No distractions. Just silence, cold water, firewood, and whatever was waiting for me in the quiet. In this episode, I share what it was like to face my nerves, to find stillness in the middle of fear, and to reconnect with something I didn’t kn...
Apr 30, 2025•22 min•Ep. 173
