In this episode, we explore how betrayal trauma impacts the nervous system and what it truly means to feel safe again in a relationship. If you or your partner have been affected by betrayal—whether through infidelity, secrecy, or other trust ruptures—this conversation will help you understand why emotional reactions are not just “drama,” but deeply rooted in trauma physiology. We’ll talk about what happens in the body after betrayal, how to recognize the signs that safety is still missing, and ...
Jun 26, 2025•31 min•Season 2Ep. 56
In this deeply insightful episode, we welcome our newest coaching colleague at Choose Recovery Services, Isy Williams , for a conversation that touches the heart of every betrayed partner’s healing journey: rediscovering the self after the deep shattering of betrayal. Together, we explore the often invisible yet powerful knowing that something is off—even before the truth is revealed—and the role that instinct and intuition play when the mind doesn’t have all the facts. Isy shares wisdom on navi...
Jun 19, 2025•39 min•Season 2Ep. 55
💔 Episode Summary: This episode will help you understand what love bombing really is, how it shows up in relationships after betrayal, and why it can be a form of manipulation or emotional abuse . ✅ What love bombing is and what it isn't ✅ How to distinguish between genuine connection and manipulative intensity ✅ The red flags that indicate love bombing is occurring ✅ How it plays out in the betrayal and recovery cycle ✅ Why it feels so good—and why it can be so dangerous ✅ How to set healthy b...
Jun 12, 2025•24 min•Season 2Ep. 54
In This Episode: We explore what it really means to let your spouse know you beyond surface communication and into emotional truth. We’ll talk about the difference between empathy and vulnerability, how stuffing emotions can quietly stall your repair. The Importance of vulnerability that real connection can’t happen without it. What You’ll Learn: How your nervous system tries to protect you—and what healing asks instead Why emotional honesty is necessary for rebuilding connection Real-life examp...
Jun 05, 2025•27 min•Season 2Ep. 53
In this powerful episode, Hali Roderick and Luke Gordon unpack three of the most common myths that keep men stuck and prevent relationships from truly healing after betrayal. Whether you're early in your recovery journey or have been doing the work for a while, these insights will help you shift from unintentional harm to intentional healing. We also introduce the Help Her Heal Intensive for men, happening this July in Spanish Fork, Utah. Check the link for an exciting new optional Add-On for co...
May 29, 2025•26 min•Season 2Ep. 52
📝 Show Notes: In this powerful and deeply honest episode, we’re exploring what it means to choose to stay in a relationship after betrayal —even when your spouse isn’t actively participating in the healing process. If you’ve found yourself in a place where you're committed to working through the pain, even though your partner isn’t fully engaged, this episode is for you. We’re not here to sugarcoat the journey—but to honor it. Staying doesn’t mean you're stuck. It means you’re consciously choos...
May 22, 2025•30 min•Season 2Ep. 51
Triggers Aren’t Setbacks — They’re Invitations to Heal In this powerful episode, we dive deep into what happens when a betrayed spouse is triggered — especially when the trigger seems irrational or unrelated to the present moment. If you're the partner who has caused the betrayal, it can be confusing and overwhelming to understand these reactions. But how you respond in those moments matters more than you might realize. We’ll explore why logical explanations and defensiveness don’t help, and how...
May 22, 2025•29 min•Season 2Ep. 51
In this episode of Choosing To Stay , we explore one of the most important—and often overlooked—skills in relational recovery after betrayal: seeking to understand. Seeking to understand isn’t about agreeing or even seeing things the same way. It’s about being present , seeking to understand , and respecting your partner’s experience —even when it differs from your own. We dive into what active listening actually looks like, why it can feel so hard (especially when emotions run high), and how it...
May 08, 2025•30 min•Season 2Ep. 49
In this episode of Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal, we dive deep into one of the most challenging aspects of healing after betrayal: breaking the cycle of unhealthy communication patterns. Infidelity can fracture not only trust but the way we communicate with our partners, often leading to constant arguments, defensiveness, and a lack of resolution. But it’s possible to step out of these destructive cycles and create healthier, more productive conversations that promote healing, u...
May 01, 2025•26 min•Season 2Ep. 48
Thank you for tuning in! In this episode, Stephanie Lynn explores a unique healing tool—rhythmic expression using the ancient frame drum. Stephanie shares how this somatic practice helps betrayed partners process grief, anger, and overwhelm when words fall short. We talk about how drumming regulates the nervous system, reconnects the body, and gives voice to unspoken pain—all within a safe, guided space. Stephanie Lynn APSATS-c,CPC, BT-IC, CDGC a certified professional coach specializing in betr...
Apr 24, 2025•28 min•Season 2Ep. 47
After betrayal, both partners can find themselves stuck in overwhelming thoughts. The betrayed partner may struggle with replaying painful memories and fearing the future, while the partner who acted out may feel shame, regret, and self-doubt. In both cases, the emotional brain (limbic system) can hijack the logical brain, making it hard to make choices based on values, integrity, and true healing. In this episode, we’ll explore how to shift out of the mental chaos and into heart-centered clarit...
Apr 17, 2025•28 min•Season 2Ep. 46
In this powerful episode of Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal , Hali is joined by her coaching colleague, Rachel Strong, to explore the similarities between physical and emotional healing. Rachel, who recently broke her elbow while ice skating, shares her personal experience of recovery and how it mirrors the emotional journey of healing from betrayal and infidelity. Recovery, whether physical or emotional, is rarely a solo journey. The importance of seeking help from professionals,...
Apr 10, 2025•37 min•Season 2Ep. 45
Communication after betrayal can feel like walking through a minefield—full of triggers, misunderstandings, and deep emotional wounds. In this episode, we explore essential healthy communication strategies that help couples reconnect, rebuild trust, and create emotional safety in their relationship. Whether you're struggling to express your feelings, feeling unheard, or unsure how to move forward, this episode offers practical tools and real-life examples to guide you. Mentioned in this episode:...
Apr 03, 2025•38 min•Season 2Ep. 44
After infidelity, emotions can feel overwhelming. Many people unknowingly bypass their pain —either by forcing positivity, over-intellectualizing, or even using spirituality to avoid sitting with difficult feelings. But true healing requires emotional processing, not avoidance. In this episode, we break down: The difference between emotional processing, emotional bypassing, and spiritual bypassing Signs you might be avoiding your emotions without realizing it Why “just moving on” too quickly can...
Mar 27, 2025•36 min•Season 2Ep. 43
In today's episode, we talk about the flood of questions a betrayed partner may have—some seeking clarity, some driven by hurt, and some that feel impossible to answer without making things worse. How a betrayer responds to these questions can either help rebuild trust or deepen the wound. In this episode, we explore how to navigate these difficult conversations with honesty, sensitivity, and emotional awareness. We’ll discuss how to answer questions both before a formal disclosure and after ful...
Mar 20, 2025•31 min•Season 2Ep. 42
Criticism can feel especially painful when you're healing from relational trauma—it can trigger old wounds, stir up self-doubt, and even make you question your progress. But what if criticism could be used as a tool for deeper connection instead of conflict? In this episode, we explore how to shift your perspective on criticism, separate past pain from present feedback, and use difficult conversations as opportunities for healing and trust-building. Thank you for tuning in! We’re here to support...
Mar 13, 2025•29 min•Season 2Ep. 41
Resentment and bitterness can feel impossible to escape after betrayal. They’re natural responses to deep hurt, broken trust, and the unfairness of it all. But what if these emotions aren’t just obstacles—they’re actually messengers? What if they’re pointing to unmet needs, unresolved grief, or fears about the future? In this episode, we dive into the deeper meaning behind resentment, why it lingers, and how to move forward without bypassing your pain. If you feel stuck in bitterness, this conve...
Mar 06, 2025•24 min•Season 2Ep. 40
In this episode, we dive into the vital role that listening plays when navigating the difficult decision to stay in a relationship after infidelity and betrayal. Whether you're the one betrayed or the one seeking to rebuild trust, the way you listen to your partner can make all the difference in the healing process.We explore powerful listening techniques and how they can help restore connection, foster empathy, and rebuild trust. These tools are essential for creating a safe space for difficult...
Feb 27, 2025•20 min•Season 2Ep. 39
Pain is often seen as something to be avoided, suppressed, or overcome—but what if we could reframe it as a powerful signal? In this episode, we explore how pain, especially after betrayal, can be a guide rather than a burden. Instead of viewing it as a problem to be fixed, we can use it to uncover unmet needs, deepen self-awareness, and step into advocacy for ourselves and others. Thank you for tuning in! We’re here to support couples healing from infidelity and betrayal, offering encouragement...
Feb 20, 2025•29 min•Season 2Ep. 38
In today’s episode of Choosing To Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal , we’re sharing a special recording from our monthly Road to Recovery webinar, where Hali sits down with Amie Woolsey to discuss the vital role of somatic healing after betrayal—for both partners. Betrayal trauma doesn’t just affect the mind; it lives in the body. Understanding how trauma is stored physically is essential to the healing process, yet it’s often overlooked. In this conversation, we explore various healing modalit...
Feb 13, 2025•58 min•Season 2Ep. 37
In this special crossover episode, Hali joins Valerie Rubin, host of The Anxiety Recovery Podcast , to dive deep into the impact of betrayal and infidelity on both our nervous system and sense of safety. Whether you're navigating the aftermath of betrayal in a relationship or simply trying to regain trust in yourself, this episode offers invaluable insights into how to begin healing. Together, Hali and Valerie discuss the powerful ways that betrayal affects us emotionally and physically, with a ...
Feb 06, 2025•54 min•Season 2Ep. 36
In this special bonus episode of Choosing To Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal, Hali sits down with Alana Gordon to dive deep into the ins and outs of couples work after betrayal. We break down the different phases of healing, what each phase entails, and how to know when you're ready to move forward. We discuss:✔️ The importance of slowing down the healing process✔️ Why individual work is essential before deep couples healing✔️ How to recognize when you're ready for the next phase of repair an...
Feb 05, 2025•40 min
In today’s episode of Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal , we dive into the emotional shields we build to protect ourselves after betrayal—and how those same shields can keep us from truly reconnecting with our partner. We explore the delicate balance of leaning in versus leaning back, understanding the role of defensiveness, and the importance of emotional vulnerability in rebuilding trust. Together, we’ll discuss practical strategies for creating emotional safety, recognizing our o...
Jan 30, 2025•30 min•Season 2Ep. 35
In this episode of Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal , we explore the critical role of self-advocacy in the healing process. Recovery is a deeply personal journey, and learning to advocate for yourself—whether with professionals, your spouse, or even with yourself—is essential for moving forward. Join us as we dive into: Trusting Your Gut: Learn to tune into your inner voice and distinguish between intuition and fear. Discover practical ways to rebuild self-trust after betrayal. Adv...
Jan 23, 2025•29 min•Season 2Ep. 34
In this episode of Choosing To Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal , we explore the complex and often unspoken topic of shame for the betrayed partner who chooses to stay. Choosing to stay after betrayal can feel isolating, especially in a world that often labels this decision as weak or misguided. But staying is a courageous choice, rooted in love, resilience, and hope. Together, we’ll unpack the origins of shame, its impact on your healing journey, and practical ways to overcome it so you can r...
Jan 16, 2025•26 min•Season 2Ep. 33
In this episode of Choosing To Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal , we explore the profound journey of rediscovering oneself and rebuilding identity in the aftermath of betrayal. Whether you're navigating the impact of disclosure or grappling with the ripple effects of past choices, this episode offers insights and tools for self-reflection, healing, and growth. We discuss: The importance of self-reflection and self-awareness in the healing process. How betrayal impacts identity and challenges c...
Jan 10, 2025•31 min•Season 2Ep. 32
Welcome to this episode of Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal! As the New Year begins, many of us feel the weight of societal pressure to set ambitious resolutions. But for those couples on a healing journey, especially after being impacted by betrayal in your relationship, this pressure can feel overwhelming and misaligned. In this episode, we explore how to redefine growth for the New Year by shifting the focus from rigid resolutions to meaningful intentions. You can find the Good ...
Jan 02, 2025•27 min•Season 2Ep. 31
In today’s episode of The Choosing to Stay Podcast , we’re diving into a critical element of relational repair: consistency. Whether you’re a betrayed partner or someone working on rebuilding trust and sexual integrity, consistency is the bridge that connects the promise of change to the reality of healing. What you'll learn: Why consistency is essential for relational repair. How consistent actions help rebuild trust brick by brick. Practical tips to maintain consistency, even when progress fee...
Dec 26, 2024•27 min•Season 2Ep. 30
In this episode of the Choosing to Stay podcast, Hali and Stephanie dive into a listener's question: Does the pain ever go away after betrayal? They explore the emotional realities of betrayal trauma, what healing looks like over time, and how to approach the process of working through pain rather than avoiding it. From personal experiences to professional insights, Hali and Stephanie share: The nature of pain in the aftermath of betrayal. The impact of avoidance and survival mode on healing. Ho...
Dec 19, 2024•24 min•Season 2Ep. 29
Rebuilding After Betrayal – An Invitation to Heal Together I’m excited to introduce the Healing Hearts Live Group , a coaching program designed specifically for couples ready to move from surviving to thriving after betrayal. Why healing after betrayal feels overwhelming and how to take the first steps. The power of group coaching in providing tools, guidance, and shared learning. What makes the Healing Hearts Live Group different from traditional approaches. Practical tools and strategies to ...
Dec 13, 2024•15 min•Season 1Ep. 29
