Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of iHeart Radio and The Black Effect. I'm checking in, how you been doing, how's your heart, how's your soul, how's your spirit?
How's your health? How your friends doing? How your family doing, How y'all boo doing, How you doing? How your children doing?
How your dog doing, How y'all pet's doing. What y'all been doing over there? Y'all listen, I'm fine.
Biggie is fine. He's getting so big, he will be.
He turns one October twenty third, So I'm like, do I have a little get together for him or.
Just I don't know. Maybe I don't know. Maybe I'll give him some I don't know. Well we'll see, we'll see, we'll see. So that's what's been going on in my world, y'all.
Okay, okay, okay, I'm so excited because Ashley blamed Featherston Jenkins.
She's coming up right here. I'm checking in, yoll okay, listen.
You have seen her in Dear White People, netflix's original series. You've seen her in an NBC's hit comedy series Grand Crew, where she's also a producer, content creator at a proud Howard University graduate, and she has her own podcast called Trials to Triumph.
Please welcome everybody. Ashley blamed Featherston Jenkins.
Hi, sis, Hi beautiful, We had got right into it.
Are you doing all right?
Thank you for asking? You know what I am. Today's a good day. My heart's in a good place. I'm feeling good, a good mood. So today's a good day.
That's so good.
I was talking to someone at Sarah Jakes's conference Women Involved, which was phenomenal, and I asked them how they were doing, and they gave me their real answer, and I was like, that's amazing that we can like give the real answer. How have you grown to that place where well, maybe if you feel safe enough to you'll be like, man, I'm struggling, you know, but how did you even get there to where you could possibly be like man, I'm.
Good or yeah, it's been a struggle today. How have you gotten to that house?
Yeah, that's such a good question. My friends, they held a mirror up to me. I am like notoriously known or I used to be. I've grown out of this, so I'm quite proud of myself. But I used to be someone that no matter what was going on. I would say I'm fine, fine, I'm fine, but based on my demeanor or my disposition or just them knowing me, they would know that I actually was not fine, and
they would, you know. Finally, I don't remember which friend it was, one of them was like, hey, when you say that you're fine, in a high pitched tone, I just want you to know that we know that you're not fine. And honestly, I think it was me getting called out on it that made me say, you know what, I just need to be more honest about it. And what I learned through that is that they loved me still. I can say I'm not fine, I'm actually really sad, or I'm actually not in a talking mood, or I'm
scared or something. I don't know, I'm just not in the mood to talk whatever, and they're like, okay, but we're here when you are. I think that there was something about me that felt like I had to say that I was fine because people always expected me to be fine, and if I weren't fine, then maybe people wouldn't enjoy that version of Ashley as much. But the truth is we are all complex in that way. None of us are always fine all the time. So yeah,
I'm grateful to my friends for that. And so now you know, like I said, with you as my friend asking me, how am I feeling today, I'm in a great space, but I one thousand percent what I felt comfortable enough to say since I'm struggling today.
You know, Listen, I'm so glad that spaces are being created and that you have friends. And we don't talk like that, but if you had to, we'll often we'll comment or send each other a message.
But just know that, like you're right, like to get vulnerable with somebody, I'm grateful to know that space has been created for you to do that. How do you think you are able to create space for others to be truthful with you?
Because people want to know what do you mean create a safe space? Well, let's talk about how we create safe spaces for others versus is how we're feeling.
They need to create space for me.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, I actually just commented, Uh, there's a hummingbird outside of my window. Always comes whenever I'm doing a podcast. It's very like I need to like look it up, and that's why I'm just looking at the windows a reminder. Yeah, every time I'm in here, the humming bird comes in business.
Let me looking it up.
I'm present, let me be present.
They all have a meaning, but we'll look it up. But I actually just did a post about this on my Instagram. I uh received, which I'm sure you get sometimes too, but it was somebody who had commented about my podcast Trials to Triumphs and was basically like, I like the podcast and like I think that actually is cool and whatever, but like, I don't know, I just feel like she just kind of like talks about her story too, and like aren't we just here to like
listen to her guests? And I wasn't at all offended by the comment, but it made it very clear to me that the person who made the comment didn't understand my purpose, my gift, or the purpose of my podcast. And I think the way that I'm able to create a safe space is because I'm sharing too. I'm not asking of you what I'm unwilling to also give. I'm not you know what I mean, Like, that's that's not what we're doing. That's not at all what you do either.
Michelle and I think we really understand each other in that way. So oftentimes, like you do too, I get guests who come on and are like, I've never shared something like this before, or I can't believe I'm saying that, And it's because they know that I'm in the same vulnerable space right there with them. I'm not. And what I said in my in my Instagram post is like, I just want to be clear and tell people I'm
not a journalist. I'm not. I'm a human who likes to have wonderful, deep, inspiring, honest conversations with other humans and what we find from that is always a beautiful discovery. But oftentimes journalists who we need. We need journalists right. Journalists are very important, but their job is to get the hard hitting answers, to get the facts, to stay very stoic so that you know that's not what we do.
I'm having conversations with people I want to talk to, and what comes out of that as a blessing.
And conversations are reciprocal. It's you sharing something, it's me responding, and if I have something to share that might be.
Relevant or complimentary, I will share. Now.
I was gonna say, when she said that comment, the person that made the comment, do they have a journalism background or something like that, because if I'm not mistaken, journalists are taught don't inject your personal stories or feelings into matter.
But I'm sorry.
I love when Oprah Winfrey can inject a personal story, whether.
It's a trial or something triumphant, and she's checking in. You see, I'll piece piece our stuff together.
I love when Tamra Hall, who we know, has that show and she is a journalist, but I love every now and then she'll share something about her son.
Or something like that. I think it's so endearing because it brings.
That person to human form that hey, they're experiencing life with us as well. So I'm glad that you were able to have that perspective and not change how you do what it.
Is that you do. So thank you for that.
I've got to tell everybody you were in my video Believe in Me, and I told Angela, you'll see it's relevant entertainment.
I said, y'all, she was so good. He plays my therapist in a video called Believe In Me, and I believe I was able to talk about it on your podcast, but I have yet to share the story on mine. And I was like Angela, she was so good. She made me cry.
You played my therapist, and I think in the video I'm saying the words of my song believe in Me. But it was the way you looked me in my eye.
I felt seen.
I feel like, maybe I know I was going through some healing stuff as well at that time, but I felt like you created space for me to just have a real cry. That wasn't nothing. The director didn't say, Michelle, make.
Sure you cry. That was a real moment.
So thank you for those healing tears back in two thousand, whatever year that was thirteen or fourteen.
Oh my gosh, it was like ten years.
Ten years ago, close to ten years.
Yes, thank you, thank you for that. Thank you for that was like a dream come true. I was like, what Michelle Williams supposed to be to play her therapist and hurt. This can't like am I reading Wait a minute, maybe am I reading this properly? But you know, in when I look back at that, we both got what we needed right. You needed a good try and I
needed to be around inspiration. I needed to be around somebody who inspires me, who reminds me that I'm on the right path, And that's what you did and have continued to do. You did before I met you, then you did it in the moment, and you've continue to do it over the past past ten years. So thank you for that. You're a little it.
And I was like, y'all, she was such a good actress, just you know, in the video, and so I am so excited about watching your journey, your journey, and.
It's like, I'm a proud mom.
And it's not that because you were in my video that that was something so low, but I'm like.
A.
Yeah, so I speak from from that place, from your of your journey, which has been absolutely amazing. Did you see yourself on this trajectory of acting and having such Yeah, I have no problem saying what her podcast as well. We are content and and insecure. So how did you see.
Yourself doing everything that you're doing?
Oh my goodness, Yes, and no, Michelle, you know like I did. Yeah. So I I am one of the the the lucky few who who knew what they wanted to do from a very young age. So like as soon as I could really like walk and talk, and people are asking me what my future aspirations are, I'm saying I want to be an actress. I want to be on TV. I want to perform like that was always the goal, and my parents supported me my whole
life through that, you know what I mean. I started acting professionally at fourteen and had been in voice lessons and taking all the dance and all the theater, and I went to Howard University and got a degree in musical theater. So like I was always working toward the goal. I moved to Los Angeles at twenty two, eight months
after I graduated from Howard. But the reason I say yes and no is because you know, if it were up to me, I would have, like I thought I was gonna have like seventeen Emmys by now, like probably an Oscar, you know, Tony Money. Yeah, Like I would have been like Egott, all right, you know.
What I mean.
So so I say that to say that the journey has not at all looked like what I thought it would like, not at all. It's been far harder, far more arduous than I thought it would be. But I talk a lot about this on my podcast. But I have such an appreciate for retrospect because I think it's so important to be able to look back over your life and say, that's why that wasn't supposed to happen. That was the pivot I needed to take here, or you know, even I look back like I wanted to.
You know, there were times that when I'm growing up where I wanted my parents to like pack up the house and like when I was a teenager moved to La so I could be like Kyla Pratt. I wanted to be Kyla Pratt when I was like in high school and my parents were like, no, we're not moving our whole lives to California. You're finishing high school and you're going to college. And it might sound like a
small thing, but like Howard changed my life. My best friends in the entire world I met at Howard, you know what I mean, Like it's I needed that experience, the type of network I have, my sorority sisters, so many things that the things that I learned, the lesson all of it so much. I got in those four year years and had my parents done what I wanted them to do, which is also like what teenager can tell their parents what she wants their parents to do.
So I was already somewhat delusional, but I'm so happy that, like that's what my life was. And to go back to how I said yes and no. You know I have a podcast, right, and I love being a podcast host, but I didn't know that I would be doing it because it wasn't a dream that I could have dreamt because it wasn't a thing.
Right.
So it's one of those dreams and one of these opportunities that has taken me by surprise. And then I was like, oh God, you always intended this for me. This is this actually feels very much so in the pocket. And it's been really nice also to see the doors that podcasting has opened up for the rest of my career and we'll continue to open up. So it's never the way you necessarily want it to be, but it's the way it has to be in order for you to fulfill your purpose.
That's what I believe.
I feel like you have such an amazing perspective on when things don't happen the way you thought they would, you dreamed them to be. But you know, okay, I'm I'm in the place where I'm supposed to be at this time. It's kind of healthy, kind of mature.
Thank you. I guess I never looked at it like that.
It's kind of healthy, mature. There's no entitlement, there's no ball. I have a degree from Howard University of Musical Theory. I'm supposed to have this. I'm supposed to do this' No, you're not in total control of your life, and it seems that you know who is in control.
Yes, ultimately, Yes, not at all confused about that.
By the way, I wanted you to know if you wanted to know what sighting a humming bird is.
H Yes, I want to know, just for.
Y'all context, in case you're tuning in a little later, you're fast forwarded or something. Ashley, she kept peering out of her window because she said, every time I do a podcast, I see a humming bird.
So Angela sit she sends us.
What a hummingbird is, it says to some citing a humming bird signals that challenging times are over and healing can begin as a as a spiritual symbol, to some, a humming bird means that the spirit of.
A loved one is near. The biblical meaning.
Can represent faith and hope, as the sight of a flying bird and flapping its wings exudes an image of.
Precision that reflects the magnificence of.
God nowhere now ashly, if you want to refer to it right now, you click that thing that say chat and read it because we can discuss this child. Did anything out to you a lot?
Actually, you don't.
Have to go into details if it's personal stuff.
But no, no, no, no, we just talked about that. I'm comfortable and it's a vulnerable place. No, no, no, So this is.
Comb in her skin.
Cozy. Yeah, I know, we're all still just on the high. I know my husband and I talk every day.
How do we interject that in humming? I know it?
It applies to everything. Every time the hummingbird comes, I first think of my Nana. I've always thought of her, who passed away in twenty nineteen December twenty nineteen, but I always I always feel like it's her. But the the other thing is that I think it's a reminder that I'm right where I'm supposed to be, Like I am my podcast, when I'm sharing my story on other podcasts, it is in alignment with my purpose. I am in
the pocket, I am doing the right thing. It is a higher calling on my life that I am fulfilling, you know, like it it reminds me that I'm in alignment, is what I'm trying to say. And I think that's kind of what this is what it's saying basically like and also it's a reminder too, like it says the precision that reflects the magnificence of God, like God is always in everything that I do. Like it's that reminder He's in everything, and don't don't forget it. I'm here,
I'm in it. I called you to do this, this is what I want you to do. You were on assignment like that, That's what it reminds me of.
Oh, and on assignment because you said you never projected predicted that you would be doing a podcast, so maybe to me also, the humming bird is like, you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. So any type yes, you doubting, what is I'm gonna send this humming bird to let you know I'm omnipotent, I'm nipresent.
That's you know what, Michelle. I needed to hear that because I'll be honest, Like my podcast, this was my idea, like right, I created the podcast that I wanted and it was an opportunity that I sought out. But I think that once it materialized, I started having feelings of like, but wait, I'm an actor, though, like what are people going to think that I'm doing this this podcast? And are they going to be like, but shouldn't she just
be on TV? Like I started, I started feeling like maybe it was incongruent with my purpose, like maybe maybe this is a departure that like isn't going to help me but might hurt me in some way. And I
was wrong. I've been wrong obviously. And you know, Daryl, my husband, said something to me not long ago that like really really spoke to me, and I was like crying and complaining about like opportunities that had like you know, getting so close to so many jobs and them not working out, and I just it was a it was a season where not even just a day, it was a season where like I was not okay, and I was really sad, and I was really defeated, and I
was really overwhelmed with like what is my life? What is my career? What am I doing? I work so hard? Like why do I feel like it's not materializing in the way that like I really wanted to? And I was like, you know, isn't this my purpose and he was like he calls me bash. He was like, bash, I I think you have it wrong a little bit. And I was like, I got like, what do you mean I have my purpose wrong? Like what are you gonna tell me? Like? It was kind of like that
type of thing, and he very kindly and gently. It's probably one of my favorite I've known him for almost fourteen years. It's one of my favorite memories of us because I thought it was so of God. It's such a message from God through my husband to me. But it also was such a manifestation of like, you know me, you know the heart of me. And what he said was he said, actually, I don't think your purpose to
be an actress. Your purpose is to inspire. And there's going to be a multitude of different places that you're able to do that. Sometimes it's on screen, Sometimes it's behind a mic on a podcast. Sometimes it's speaking to students. Sometimes you know, there's sometimes it's just when you share a nugget with someone you meet at the CBS, whatever it is, that's why you're here. And I was like, you know what, and it hit me like a ton of bricks, Like a ton of bricks. He was right.
And so again, if my purpose is to inspire, if my purpose is to always make it clear that I am on assignment from God, right, then my podcast, being a guest on your podcast is very much so in alignment with the whole reason why I'm here. And I was just really grateful for that reminder.
Yes, no way, admit it because I'm gonna get to relationship.
Said a minute, but I can't help, but ask now, were you low key like, oh you right? Oh I hate you?
You're right? I know I would have been.
Yeah, because I had to admit a lot. It required me to admit things to myself that maybe I had been, like blocking blessings because I didn't think it was my purpose or not or not embracing other talents and sectors to my life and facets of my creativity because it didn't. It wasn't It wasn't a traditional actor on a TV show or on stage, like you know, it wasn't that. But like I'm a multi hyphen it. I do a
lot of things. I'm not one thing. And you know, Michelle, I realized that there was a box that I felt like I was. I was. I felt boxed in Remember I was telling you this this season of my life, I just it wasn't a good season, and it was because I felt boxed in. But I had to admit to myself, I put myself in the box. The industry didn't put me in a box, didn't know nobody else
put me in the box but myself. And now I understand that this box that I'm in has no lid, has no I'm not in a box, but the box has an infinite amount of room. I'm not boxing myself in anymore. And I think because of that, the blessings are flowing in a different way.
Well, when you said you were blocking your blessings, it's a possibility we don't know that we are also operating in a state of not being in a state of gratitude.
You know.
It's like, so it took your husband to be like, wait a minute, maybe you're meant to inspire in so many ways, so you get the perspective You're like, Lord, my.
Bad, I'm sorry.
I'm so grateful for all the ways you allow Ashley me such a creative person, to inspire.
And I got a box story for you being in a box.
If y'all don't mine to the person that trolled her the other day. Do you mind if I tell my story about being in a box?
Is it okay?
We want I want to hear it. We want to hear it, okay.
Because suns it might bless you too. Cool. Okay, here we go. So I was on a plane coming back from an award show. Okay, I'll said.
It was a gospel award show, and I was, oh, my God, tears flowing down my eyes.
I remember my.
Head is laying against the window because I felt rejected, and Babe the Holy Spirit said, why are you crying about a box that I never put you in? I wiped them tears. I said, my bad, I'm sorry. I was just playing. Let me look at my calendar, maybe my cycle was coming. But we look at so many things like, yeah, you did your job, your assignment here to inspire, But don't just put yourself this is my earphone box. Every there's so much more outside of this
box that we limit ourselves to. And we overhear crying, tears and everything about a box that.
He never put us in.
That's the thing, like who puts you in the box? You have to be honest about that, and oftentimes you put yourself in the box, bloop, and that you have to reckon.
With that, and did and did, and now you got to figure out, well, why did you put yourself in the box? Is it fears and securities are feeling like you should only be over here right now and not you. But I know even the root of that is I remember being told, you know, you need to stick to one thing, you need to stick to one thing.
Yeah, yeah, and.
Was that when was that? Do you remember when that was?
Oh?
This was in the early two thousands. This was so so many years ago.
And I think the desires that I had back then, I'm walking in them now because I'm like, we would have never seen at a time in the industry.
You better be doing multiple things because the music industry is different. You better be doing some other things.
You better start being great and taking classes and be an experts in other areas. Now, I try to make it all make sense, you know, with my purpose and assignment.
You know, I wanted to all make sense. You know.
I'm like, Okay, that's why she's okay the podcast, you know. But then again, I have to check myself to everything that we do sometimes is not meant to understood until the fruit of it whom.
Yeah, sometimes you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and say, this feels wonky. I don't know what I'm doing. But you know, when you have that feeling inside of this spirit where you know you're in the right place and you know you're doing what you're supposed to be doing, you just have to be patient and like you said, have a really strong gratitude practice in the midst of.
It all, have a really strong gratitude process trying to be happy in all things. And I definitely want to discuss that word happiness because you are sharing that happiness don't always come easily naturally, especially as a black woman.
Yeah, can you share about you saying that? Can you share about that? Yeah?
Like, I don't know. The older I get, the more I realize that, like life and everything in life is cyclical, you can only really appreciate happy days when you've had really sad ones. So I learned to because you have to have that juxtaposition, right, Like anyone that only knows one thing doesn't have the life perspective. So you know, those are the people that when one bad thing happens, they're like freaking out because they don't have any there's
no resiliency. And you know there's people who there's people who yeah, there's people who fight, uh not fight. There's people I think who feel like but but you shouldn't have to be resilient, like in life, you shouldn't have to have a resiliency. And I disagree. I think resiliency is what builds character. I think you need some bounce back.
Yeah, like you have to.
Have a buoyancy to get you through life. Like you can't just be like swimming through like that's that's impossible. There's there's waves, there's a tide, there's currents, there's a storm, like, there's all sorts of things.
Babe, we need to be like them trees.
You know when the storm hit that tree, be lean and you think it's no break that thing, ain't it? And then in the perk up, then that storm it'd be it'd be it'd be swaying it.
All right, it doesn't break, but like what what what happens though? Right, there's still might have lost some branches, might be some leaving.
Which is necessary.
So yeah, there's pruning there, shedding that's happening. You still had to to shake some stuff off of you. But you you're standing in the sunshine after the storm. Right, that's good, you know what I mean? You're still growing, your roots are still in the ground, You're still planted, and so yeah, so I feel like, yeah, happiness isn't always a part of our existence, and that's okay. It's what am I doing with the days where I'm not happy? Am I believing that there's a happy day that is
still coming? Or am I or am I sitting in it? Or am I sitting and wallowing in it and believing that this is my life?
What do you say to the people who be like you don't have to be able to say something like that. You can only be in a place of healing and be on a journey of being self aware to be like to have that perspective.
I would say, hmm, that's a good question. I think. I would say, you.
Don't understand what I'm going through. How do you not have empathy?
Well, I would say I do have empathy, a very empathetic person, And I would say I am rooting for you. But I would also say, like I said, we can go back to retrospect. There's not one person in the world who has had all bad days. That's not how it works. There are some of us who have had far more bad days than others. That is a fact. But again, if we go back to gratitude, Michelle, there's
always something to be grateful for. My gratitude practice includes me putting something in my gratitude jar, even if I feel like I don't have something. Sometimes it's like my nail pols didn't chip. Sometimes it's I got my dream job. Sometimes it's there was food on the table today, but there's something the sunshine. I like the way the sun
felt on my face today. So what I would say is like, look back over your life and I actually think there has been a time or a day or a moment that you were happy, and like hold on to that and remember that if you had it, then you can have it again. But so much of life is perspective. I really really believe that. And like the mental agility, which is the toughest part, and I know so many of us struggle with that. It's not easy. It's not easy to work through and fight through depression.
Like I would never sit here and act like it is it is an easy thing to do. But what I will say is that it does take commitment. Think about the times, Michelle, when you were at your lowest. The only way you got through it is because you at one point decided you were committed to doing so That's right, and I would say the same for myself.
Yeah, commitment.
And brasilience, all of that. Yeah, you know, and that builds strength. We feel like we just go get some strength the Popeye Sailorman Spinach. That ain't how strength we're you know, got you gotta train to get this strength. So training is being committed. That's part of my training, my strength training, getting up every morning.
Yeah, you don't want to being around the right people, Like listen, somebody listening to this podcast, This message is for you. Sometimes the weight and the brunt of what you're feeling is not your own. It's a projection from someone else in your orbit, in your circle that has latched on to you. Have you ever been have you ever felt like or been in a time in your life when you felt like, I don't know, I just
feel kind of like down. I don't really know why, Like I just I don't know, I don't really feel like myself. There's been a few times in my life when I felt that way, and you know, I'm realizing, like I don't really know why I feel that way. Like I things are pretty okay, and I took stock of the people around me, or of someone around me, and was like, oh, this isn't mine, this ain't mine, this is theirs, and I need to kindly give it back, support them through it, pray for them. But this is
not mine. I'm feeling I And sometimes it comes from the closest relationships. Sometimes it's family, sometimes it's our best friends. Sometimes it's coworkers, sometimes it's a job, you know, whatever
it is. But like you have to take stock of a friend of mineset this to me recently that sometimes you have to take a moment and assess what's yours and what isn't yours, and what isn't yours give it back to where it came from, because we ain't got time going to be carrying around what's ours, what somebody else's, what's the person that gave it to them? Like we don't we got enough going on with ourselves.
But like you said, though I can support you, Oh but I can, I'm not going to carry the whole load. No, because there's some work that you need to do that you may be afraid to do or.
You don't know how to do it. I'll help you.
You know, let's find a therapist of constantly together, let's do some breath work or something. But you're so right, and it is to encourage that person listening. Maybe there is some work that needs to be done that you're afraid to do, and it's like, no, you do not have to be afraid.
You don't have to be afraid.
Speaking of close relationships, you celebrating your wedding anniversary with your husband Darryl, who sweet fully was able to help you change perspective on being inspired. Do you think that y'all's dynamics and everything about the word like amazing, beautiful? And do you have something to impart into couples who might be struggling and what they can maybe do.
To strengthen the bond.
Now, I do want to say that everybody don't show ashlely, Everybody don't show the moment where they feet might stink, they got on your nerves, or we might have got in an argument today, or you might but you share with us like, Okay, this wasn't easy.
Can you impart some strength to people like we hold this to work.
It's just a struggle because you said, y'ap been knowing each other fourteen years.
Yeah, and we've only been married for two, so I mean it's been a long it's been a long it's been a long journey. We met when we were very young, we met when we were twenty two, and then I always say like we turned thirty and were like, what are we doing? We're in love with each other and
we've been together ever since. But I think the wisdom that I would impart is that if you were in a marriage and a relationship that you really really want to work, and you're struggling to find ways as to how focus or or return, try your best to return to partnership. And the reason I say partnership first is because what's changed my life about my marriage is that
I have a partner in all things. And I think often times when people feel stressed or strained in a relationship is because they feel alone or single, but yet they're in a relationship. They don't feel somewhere the partnership got lost. And I think that when you return to partnership or return to love, like one of which is one of my favorite books by Mary and Williamson, which is I never read that reader Return to Love by Mary and Williamson. But a partner has your back and
does A partner sees you. A partner holds your hand when you're too scared to go by yourself. A partner says, I know you're tired, so I'll do it, and vice versa. Like partnership is invigorating, and partnership is worth living for and it's worth fighting for. So if you feel like you can find that in your relationship, it's really worth holding on to. And if you feel like you can't, then maybe you never had a partner to begin with.
And that's okay too, you know what I mean, Like understanding that, Like sometimes we have to come to an a realization of like maybe we were never really partners, maybe we were lovers, maybe we were friends, maybe we were but to be partnered with somebody is a real blessing. And that's what I'm most grateful for and what we really prioritize on a daily basis. And let me tell you something, you never know what lies ahead in life. In the past two years we've been married, there's no
way we could have gotten through all the things. If we weren't partnered, like even the strike, I have a partner, we could have never predicted that my entire industry would just be completely shut down a work stoppage. If I didn't have someone who, like I said, was holding my hand and is like standing side by side with me and saying we're in this together, I think I would be in a much different place right now with something that again was on when we got married in twenty
twenty one. We didn't know if this was gonna happen, Like, there's no way to predict that. We've you know, we've dealt with life altering medical diagnoses. If we weren't partnered in it, then maybe we wouldn't have the strength to work through the medical diagnoses. Like, yeah, it's partnership that's healing. It's partnership that's everything. And to me, partnership is what's worth partnering your life with somebody because that's ultimately what you're doing.
Absolutely two whole people coming together. It ain't half a person like the whole fifty to fifty no.
No no, no no no.
You come in home, partners come in home, and that saying you ain't gonna come in with baggage or stuff that you're still gonna be, you know, journeying through. But it's like, man, can we do life?
Somebody told me and helped me instead of be like are we gonna ever get married? No? Can we do life with each other?
That's what partners do because when we say get married, we really talking about the wedding, which is a couple of hours for that day.
But you gotta do life together.
That is an ultimately marriage partnership, meaning you've chosen someone that you feel like you can ultimately partner with, and then the next layer is someone that you've sent I can partner with you to do life with you.
Yeah, And it's funny listening to you say what you just said. It's making me think. Before I got married, I was always like I never understood why some people would make the choice to say partner and not husband or wife or spouse or whatever. Some people are very like big on saying partner, and like I really get it to me, like I always say my husband, but
like there's a vibe to saying like my partner. Like it's making it very clear this is not just this, this is more than just like the title that you have that's on your marriage license. This is like, this is my partner in all things, like not not just my husband, just my wife, not just my spouse. This is my partner. And so I really just hearing you say that, it made me like really understand the significance and the weight that's saying someone is saying someone as your partner.
Holds that's so good.
Yeah, And it's when it's a partnership, even corporations, when you do partnerships or if I partner with someone, it's like you do everything that you can to protect it. This partnership, we have to we do everything that we
can to protect it. Thank you Ashley so much for giving us that, Jim, and I'm excited you guys are welcome to DM myself or maybe even DM or her to even share tell her how that gem that she dropped is going to strengthen your relationship with the person that you love or anything else that she has shared. And I'm excited for your podcast, which y'all it's on the Oprah Winfrey Network podcast network, by the way, and
so congratulations on that. And again I'm so thankful to have had you on checking in today.
Thank you so much, sus. You know, I just love an adore you, Michelle. I'm so grateful for you and you all like. Check out Michelle's episode on Trials to Triumphs. It's a great episode. It's fantastic. We have new episodes every Monday. Yeah, but this is just always a joy. I just love chatting. I could chat with you all day long. So I know.
It's amazing that your new episodes come out on Mondays and mine comes out on Tuesdays, so we're not conflicting.
So you guys are just fine.
Check out her podcast Trials to Triumph and all the other.
Amazing projects that she has her hand to Ashley, thank you for checking in.
Thanks sus, See you next time, right.
I love Ashley. She is just she's awesome. She's awesome. She's awesome.
Now, y'all go back and look at my video before the song I had called Believe in Me.
She plays my therapist in that video.
Y'all go back and look at it, and I hope that she has said something that just sparks some creativideo or something she says that lets you know everything's gonna be alright and be on the lookout. Maybe a hummingbird will fly your way.
All right, I love you bye.
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