Unlocking Your Best Year Yet: Small Changes, Big Impact

Music. And welcome to Change Your Relationship with Food, the podcast hosted by me, Kyla Holley.

With many years' experience as an eating disorder and bariatric therapist, I know exactly what it takes to help you break free from your diet history and develop a more healthy relationship with food. Please follow this podcast to make sure you don't miss a thing. Welcome back and Happy New Year to each and every one of you listening out there.

What have we got planned for this year? Well, it's weird going into a brand new year because this time last year, this podcast was just an idea in my head. I'd pretty much done the cover artwork and that was it. And I'd sat down with a piece of paper and thought, what am I going to talk about? As the years progressed, we've had some amazing guests on last year and we've evolved the subject matter that we talk about and added more layers to things.

And of course we won an award in September last year, September 24, the Women in Podcasting Award for the Best Psychology Podcast which was a huge thrill and a really big recognition of the fact that this little spark of an idea sometimes that you have can actually evolve into something that people value which it's been a real honour for me and it was interesting because I've got an app on my phone where I can look at where people are listening and what

episodes they're listening to and when they're logging in. And it was interesting to see that even on Christmas Day, people were listening to the podcast. It just amazes me that I can be sitting at home in Australia and someone in a completely different country is listening to this podcast. Still blows my mind. So as we enter another year, I was thinking, well, how's this going to revolve? what's going to happen.

And a few ideas have come to my mind. The first one is that we're going to have more guests. And certainly the caliber of people that are approaching me now and asking to be guests on the podcast is amazing. Some people have got really very, very interesting concepts to discuss, very interesting life journeys that they've been on, challenges that they've overcome, all to do with their relationship with food.

So this is something that I do want to develop more during this year is getting more guests involved. But also I'd like to move later in the year to a bit more of a kind of a club for us, a community really, that we can create through the podcast, something that takes it to the next level. Something that gets you more involved. So I'm thinking, this is just an idea in my head at the moment, of doing some sort of club that people can belong to, where they get all sorts of little mini courses.

I've just started to develop these little mini courses on a lot of things that get in our way, things like people pleasing. That's the first course that I'm working on at the moment. We're all guilty of this to a certain extent, but some people really give up their own desires and needs in order to please other people because other people's approval is so important to them. And that's something that I see a lot with the people that come to see me on a one-to-one basis.

So I thought I'd cover that in a little course. Things like self-sabotage, that's quite a common one as well. And procrastination as well, I'll probably cover that one because I'm probably not qualified to cover that one because I'm one of the most guilty people in that department. But that's a really, really common course. Problem that I come across every day with the people that come to see me as well.

So I'm going to develop all these little mini courses, little video courses that will concentrate on a whole variety of life skills that we're not particularly great at. And this applies to all of us. And it doesn't just apply to our relationship with food. This is outside of this. This is just those life skills that, you know, we're not too great. Right.

Another aspect of the club that I've been thinking of is to have these live sessions where we all jump online at the same time and do a live kind of Q&A or perhaps we do this each month and we tackle a different subject each month maybe and you can ask me questions and we'll have kind of a live sort of session online.

That's kind of the approach I'm thinking of anyway. As I say, Just an idea in my head at the moment, but this is something which I feel that to connect us all together a little more would be a pretty amazing thing to do because I know everybody's out there listening, but engaging is that next level. So anyway, as I say, idea in my head, this is not what I wanted to talk about today.

I had a completely different subject planned and that subject is change. How do we do it? And I suppose more importantly, how do we not achieve it? How do we not change? And it's New Year, so it's the best time to talk about this because guess what? The marketers are out there and they are out to get you at this time of year.

The idea that we might have overindulged a bit at Christmas, especially in the food and drink department and probably in the spending money department, and probably in a few other departments as well, losing our inhibitions, all that sort of thing, Christmas parties, seeing family. It's a time when we do let everything go.

You know, that phrase, it's Christmas. I've used it countless times in the past, the idea that it's Christmas, so I'll do something that I don't normally do, something that's outside of my normal kind of rules of life that I set for myself, because what the hell, it's Christmas. We move into January often feeling a little bit guilty about that, a little bit, oh, we've overdone it.

So this is an ideal time of year for people in marketing departments all around the world to jump on that little bit of guilt, that little nugget, that little seed of guilt that might be hanging around in the back of your head of, I've gone too far, I shouldn't have done that. All those little niggling doubts are a marketer's dream.

And what I've been doing over the past couple of days, I've actually been doing screenshots on my phone of a whole load of marketing ideas that I've seen, which all evolve, because this is what we do here, all evolve around dieting, food and drink, that sort of thing. So I'm going to read a few of them out because some of them aren't too bad, but some of them really, really try and play on the heartstrings. The first one I've got is a daily walking plan.

Somebody says, I love this app because it's easier. And it's not as strenuous on my knees. I can get through them with no problem, says Amanda. So a lot of these marketing ideas, you'll notice as I sort of flick through a few of them, the idea that the marketers are kind of focusing on is the idea that this is simple. This is really easy. You can do this easily. So that's the first one. It's not strenuous on my knees. I can get through them with no problem.

The next one is one based on, oh, this is a fasting one. I didn't realize overeating was slowly destroying me. Oh, there you go. Contributing to my weight gain and draining my vitality. They're being a bit dramatic with this one. I was really skeptical of fasting at first, but the weight gain was dictating my life and I couldn't get out.

If this sounds familiar find out how to fix this and obviously then they want to sell you what is it a fasting challenge the only fasting challenge you'll need so with this they've gone with a real guilt inducing my weight was destroying my life type thing the next one I lost 26 kilos with this particular diet a high protein breakfast fruit smoothie and ready to eat lunches and dinners make it so easy.

Again, they've gone with the, this is easy. And there's a picture of a woman wearing quite a sort of slinky figure, hugging dress, saying that she lost 26 kilos on this particular diet. The next one, now this is a shake diet, looking for an easy, there's that word again, and delicious way. I would debate that anybody that's tried any of the diet shakes. Delicious, probably not the word I'd go for. Anyway, I digress.

Looking for an easy and delicious way to hit your weight loss goals. Now's the time. Buy three, get one free, blah, blah, blah. High protein, high calcium, packed, packed with vitamins and minerals and only $1.60 per meal. Is it a meal or is it a shake? Well, anyway, that's debatable. What else have I got here? Oh, a no carbs challenge. Day one, the change begins. This is instant. This is so easy. Day one, you're in. Day two, Metabolism speed increases. This is incredible, isn't it?

We're doing brilliantly here. Day three. What happens with day three? Well, better mood and improved sleep, apparently. So this whole idea of this is so quick, it's so easily. Get stuck in and it'll be amazing. It actually says here, lose 40 pounds in less than 60 days by February. Okay, February's less than 60 days, the end of February, maybe. Anyway, and the claims continue. I lost 50 pounds in two months. Okay, it's just told me something different. And I haven't even started with

the exercises from the program yet. Again, this is how easy it is. I've got another one here that was having a Boxing Day sale. For a limited time, we're offering our three-month online program for just $99. Get ready to say goodbye to feeling uncomfortable in your body and hello to a healthier, more confident you. Take advantage of this unbeatable offer, blah, blah, blah. Again, it says that the food's delicious and it's powerful online tracking and an extensive, amazing recipe collection.

Here's another one. I've been on every fad diet on the planet for the first time I feel that this is the plan I can live with. I'm not hungry and my exercise level is steady all day. Sounds amazing. Another one, this diet is all about balance and finding what works for you. We don't ask you to cut out your favourite foods. Instead, our flexible programme is designed to fit into your life. For just, we get to the price, for just $14, you can get four weeks excess, blah, blah, blah.

So basically all of these, oh, here's another. I love these ones. You get these ones. We are looking for, I'll read exactly what this says. We are looking for 10 menopause ladies who haven't exercised in years and want to complete a body transformation with our wall Pilates program. We start on January the 1st. This idea that they're only looking for 10 people to be involved in some amazing kind of focus group, which of course it isn't. It's just, we want you to give us your money.

Here's another one. This is about hypnotherapy. We're thrilled to announce the launch of our newest advanced session. It's not just hypnotherapy. It's a powerful step forward for those serious about transforming their relationship with food and achieving their weight loss goals, all while enjoying deeply restful sleep. Oh God, there's more. I can't remember how many of these things I've saved. There's another one, a walking one. It's easy. We start on January the 1st.

You'll feel it. You'll see it. Your besties won't believe your results. Are you in? What's this? Oh, this is another shake one. Targets belly fat and boosts metabolism. You get the idea. I honestly don't remember how many of these I saved. I'm just flicking through them now thinking, this is crazy. They just keep going and going. I remember just everyone I saw, I was screenshotting it. I won't go on with them because it's probably quite boring. None of them, in essence, are wrong.

A lot of them say the right things about changing our relationship with food, but they all follow it up with wanting to sell you a product. So when they do that, there's part of you that kind of thinks. Okay, this is good advice, but at the end of the day, they're trying to sell me something. So they're going to use various tactics in order to try and complete that sale.

And if it's all about completing a sale, is it actually genuinely about me at all is it actually something that will help me or is it purely am I being spun a line in order just to buy this product so let's think about change for a second because this is the time new year new you that's the phrase that's been used a million times by marketers at this time of year.

And there is, even though we go into a new year, maybe recognising these tactics that are used and saying, I don't want to get pulled into that. There is always this sense of it's a new year. What's ahead for me? What am I going to do this year? I had it last year, which is why I started the podcast. What's 24 going to bring? I said to myself. And this was my project for 2024, which has carried on.

So as we go into 25, I'm in the same boat. I'm thinking, okay, what's this year going to bring for me? What am I going to see? What do I want to change? Is there anything I want to improve on? And I thought I'd get a few statistics together because the big one that people tend to go for in this January period is diet and exercise. That's generally what people do. People say, this is the year that I'm going to tackle my body.

I'm going to become fit. I'm going to become healthy. I'm going to lose weight. I'm going to look amazing. And we all go into this with really good intentions. And I looked up a few statistics about gyms because years ago, I heard a statistic that I've tried to find since, and I actually can't find any solid evidence of it. But what I was told years ago is that there's a bit of a 10% rule around gyms. And that is, of all the people that join a gym in the first week of January.

Only 10% will be going at the end of January. And at the end of that year, only 10% of the 10% will actually still be attending the gym. And I remember hearing that and thinking, oh, wow, that's quite a powerful little story, but I can't find anything to back it up. But here's some things that are backed up. So the first one is gym retention rates are about 60%. So that means that the gym retains about 60% of people that join.

And those 60% are the people that are still basically paying their subscription every month. The thing is, though, of 17% of those people that are paying every month have actually never been to the gym. So, they joined probably online nowadays. You can join online. They've never actually appeared at their gym, yet they're paying every month. And 67% of the people that are paying every month rarely visit the gym.

So if you go once a month, that amounts to it being quite an expensive gym visit if you're only visiting once a month, but 67% of gym members rarely go at all. And when you think about it, the whole gym membership model is based on the fact that they don't want you to go. Imagine if everybody went, especially if everybody went at the same time, that the gym wouldn't have the capacity for the membership it's got. You wouldn't all be able to fit in the building and work out at the.

Now, the global gym industry is actually valued at $96.7 billion. So this is big money. You know, there's big money invested in having you join gym. I actually had a client a few years ago. I might have mentioned this before in a podcast because it really did make me laugh. She had a gym membership and she had been paying for four years. And not once had she been to the gym in four years. So I was amazed and I said to her, cancel, just cancel the membership.

And she went, oh, I don't know if I could do that. And I was, I totted up how much it cost her. And I said, you've spent thousands of dollars and you've never been. This is wasted money. And she said, yeah, but if I cancel, I'll feel like I'm giving up.

And i always remember laughing and going but you haven't been there's nothing to give up you've never set foot in this building so that's just one example of i suppose hundreds probably thousands of people out there paying every month and actually not going to the gym the other statistic i found one was quite interesting and it told me that january the 12th is the most likely day that people break their New Year's resolution. That's interesting, isn't it? We last basically 12 days.

I wonder if that applies to other things as well, other changes that we make in life. And also 80% of people that start a diet in January will give up by February.

So what do we make of all this? And what I'm going to suggest here is what I always suggest, is that don't do anything big. In January, don't set goals for yourself that are unachievable. Don't go in at 100% saying, I'm going to cut sugar. I'm going to go to the gym for an hour every day. I'm going to run. I'm going to, you know, all these huge, huge, huge life changes that you're simply not going to sustain.

The question you should ask yourself if you're going to make a change is can I do this forever ask yourself seriously will I still be doing this in June or October or December and will I still be doing this in June next year or the following year or the year after that is it actually something that if I commit to doing it I can actually fit it into my life without even thinking it. It'll just be autopilot. If it is, then that sounds like a pretty good idea.

Fit that in. If it's something that you know in your heart will be unsustainable and that you're going to feel bad about yourself come the end of January when you haven't managed to sustain that change, then simply don't do it. Find something you can do. I'm not saying if you can't make these huge changes, just give up and do nothing at all.

I'm saying swap around your thinking and make a decision that I'm going to do something that is achievable, something that will make me feel good about myself, not the opposite. To that end, I bought myself a little gift at Christmas, and it's called the 1% Diary. And this is something, if any of you have heard of Stephen Bartlett.

He's a British entrepreneur. He's part of the Dragon's Den team in the UK and he's a brilliant marketer and he's become very successful and very rich, it has to be said, still in his 20s. He's the youngest dragon I think that they've ever had. And he's brought out something called the 1% diary. The idea being that in this diary, it's like a little journal that you set your goals. And it's not for the year. It's only for 90 days that you do this.

You set your big goals, you set what you want to achieve, and then you break it down into tiny little kind of micro goals. And his argument is that by doing 1% change every day, you're going to make an incredible change. It mounts up over time.

What he says in this diary, I'm just flicking through the pages. That's what this diary is all about prioritizing small incremental gains that will bring you one percent closer to your goals each day by the end of 90 days you'll be able to look back and see how these tiny actions have compounded into meaningful progress so it gets you to write down at the beginning why why you want to do the diary what your motivation is what you want to be remembered for, which is a biggie.

I'm not thinking of going this year, but anyway. And lastly, my vision statement. So you have to do this for yourself. I did mine. I did my why. I did my motivation, remembered for, and my vision statement. Then it goes into zooming in and you have to set yourself three goals. So these don't have to be work goals or personal goals. They can be a combination of both. And you have to basically do a bit of a progress track and say how you think you're going towards that goal.

Then once you've chosen your three goals, it's almost like you start to break down those little goals. And then you say, to achieve these goals, what are the little things that I could do? So you start with your big goals, what you want to achieve. You break it down into little actions that would over time improve that area of your life. So my areas I've decided on, my number one is health because it sounds awful, but I'm getting old.

I'm getting old. And I do realize that my body is developing a few problems it didn't used to have, aches and pains, things like that. I've got osteoarthritis that I struggle with. When I came back from Seoul a few weeks ago, a couple of months ago now, I managed to get myself a DVT like you do. So I've been on blood thinners because of that, because I had a DVT in my left leg. And things like this start to make you go, okay, my body's not invincible.

And my health is really important. So health is my number one goal. My relationship is my goal two, and my business is my goal three. And I've broken that down into little things. Like for instance, health, I've got one of those spas at home, like a hot tub type thing in the garden. And whenever I have a session in the hot tub, I just find it really relaxing. You can't take your phone in there. You just jump in this warm water. You set the jets going.

They kind of pummel your body and it just makes you feel nice and relaxed. And I always find that after a spa, especially if I have a late night one, I always sleep really well afterwards. So again, in my health goals, I've put down to jump in the spa at least a couple of times a week. One of them for my health goals is to walk my dog at least three times a week. And that will require probably getting up a little bit earlier to take her out before I have to get on with my day.

I've also added in things like stretching. I want to start every day with a stretch. Also another one, see again, this is like a mental health thing. I've put clean plus hair and makeup every day. And what I mean by that is I get some days when I'm not actually, it's not a clinic day, I've got no plans to leave the house, where I kind of won't bother. I sort of don't even put a brush through my hair. I certainly don't put any makeup on.

Some days I kind of go, should I bother having a shower? I'm not going anywhere. And some days, if I'm brutally honest, I don't even actually change out of my pyjamas. So, you know, these are things which they're not bad things. We've all done this. But from a mental health perspective. I kind of reflect on those days and I go, you know what, those aren't the days when I feel my best. Those aren't the days when I feel good about myself and I want to feel good about myself.

But you do notice around health, none of these little micro goals that I've started to talk about really involve changing my diet or weight loss. However, I know that if I do have a spa twice a week and I do have better sleep, that really sets me up for having a better food day. I know that if I commit to walking my dog three times a week, I know that will help my body.

It will build some more muscle strength. It will probably boost my metabolism a bit so that in turn will help with my eating and will help with my fitness. It may lose me a bit of weight, who knows, but it's not about that. It's about feeling good in your body. And again, the stretching, that's not going to lose me any weight, but it's about feeling good in my body and equipping my body to cope with the day.

You see how these health goals, even though they're very little goals, very little easy goals, you know, sitting in warm water twice a week, it's not a huge physical or mental challenge, but I know in my heart it will make me feel better. Better about me, better about life, better about everything really and that's going to do wonders for my physical and my mental health. So I encourage you to break things down.

Small, tiny, easily achievable goals that you know in the long run will start to make a difference. Little small commitments to changes that aren't necessarily involved in. You know, lose 10 kilos in 10 weeks, these big, huge goals that are probably unobtainable. Break it down a little. Do the small goals, make it achievable and make it feel good to you.

Now, what does the future hold as far as January is concerned? Next week, we have the amazing Hayley Perkins. If you haven't met Hayley, she is from the UK and she runs a business called If Diets Don't Work. She's an incredible woman who has an amazing personal story and I'll be interviewing her next week. So please join me for that one. It's an absolute corker and Hayley has so many things to say that I feel will really resonate with most of you.

So I look forward to that. I look forward to your company and I look forward to 2025, the year where hopefully for all of us, we're going to feel great about ourselves and great about our lives. Thanks for listening once again. Don't forget to check the links in the episode notes to our six-week Change Your Relationship with Food course and to the Change Your Relationship with Food workbook and journal, which is available on Amazon. Music. Music.