Your 3 Subconscious Stories That Sabotage You

your-3-subconscious-stories-that-sabotage-you Thu, Nov 09, 2023 12:38PM • 1:06:18 SUMMARY KEYWORDS love, people, work, subconscious, happen, stories, challenge, give, relationship, heart, feel, life, high performers, years, experience, stage, session, create, vivian, deep SPEAKERS Mike Koenigs, Dr. Lise Janelle Dr. Lise Janelle 00:00 Most people are not aware of the stories and are ruling them. They have no idea about 95% of what we do is actually pre programmed, even though we're adults, often we get stuck as a child, because we keep recreating the same stories over and over again. Mike Koenigs 00:17 Before I had my big struggle, and my case, a couple of them, you know, they're my reinvention moments, you know, I've had five significant professional ones, if you would have said, What's your why I couldn't answer that until I had already been through the storm. The why showed up afterwards? Dr. Lise Janelle 00:35 How am I going to use this challenge to my advantage? What is this asking me to do that I wouldn't be doing otherwise? Is it driving me somewhere I need to go? Is it asking me to master something, creating a new game? Yeah, Game of creating an amazing, extraordinary life, not just an average life on an extraordinary life. Mike Koenigs 01:07 Just 24 hours ago, I sat down to face one of my biggest professional fears and challenges has to do with employees and scaling. Now, a few hours later, my 21 year old son experienced the same process. But for him, it was about procrastination. And for him, the root cause had to do with a very raw, authentic fear he has about living up to my expectations. And just a few minutes ago, my wife Vivian was able to transform a huge challenge she's been dealing with, and that is a 21 year old. But she went back to the moment he was born. And she got to re experience where a lot of her deep fear and anxiety came from. And you're probably wondering, well, what does this have to do with what's the system? Why did all this stuff happen? And that's what this show is all about. Now, I've been a big fan of personal development for as long as I can remember. And that started with my mom gave me a book by Augmon Dino. Then I read Napoleon Hill, and then one of attending a Tony Robbins event in 1984, which genuinely changed my life. Right now, at any given time, I belong to 46 masterminds, and business networks, including Genius Network with Joe Polish Strategic Coach with my favorite person in the world, Dan Sullivan. He's like a best friend, brother, mentor, father, grandfather all rolled into one. I'm in flight club Pathfinder mastermind mastermind talk Summit Series, and I easily invest over $250,000 a year in my personal coaching, and therapy. Now I can easily say it has always provided a 10x return just on the money alone, not counting all the development that takes place the benefits to my family, my wife, the relationship I have with my son. So what about you? When did your personal and professional journey begin? Do you remember what the first event was the first book or what the first experience is? And what are the biggest issues you've overcome? And what are you still challenged by? And do you invest in yourself every year? So today, you're going to be exposed to a powerful system that has been used by Jack Canfield, who said after 50 years of doing transformational work, the heart freedom method is the missing link I've been looking for. Now, Jack has sold over 600 million books and is co authoring a book with today's guest, Marcy Shaima. She's the author of Happy for No Reason and love for no reason. And other high performing founders, many Hollywood celebrities, Olympic athletes have worked with her. She's had over 176,000 consultations and sessions. Now the heart freedom method by Dr. Lise Janelle is a shortcut to discover and eliminate your limiting subconscious stories to live an extraordinary life. I want you to just Feel into that for a moment. It's the shortcut to discover and eliminate your limiting subconscious stories to live an extraordinary life. And one of my favorite quotes by Dr. Lise's is, you won't create what you want in life, you will create what you believe. Now earlier, I was speaking with Vivian and she said something very profound. This work can give you the experiential depth of plant medicine without the drugs visits to a shaman in South America, or questionable legalities. But you'll see how her system can radically shift your reality in minutes and I've gone through the process. So is my team. And now two of my team members are absolutely enthralled and excited about working with her. So I want to thank you first of all for being here today. Dr. Lise's Dr. Lise Janelle 04:41 Yes. Thank you Mike for having me. That's so fun. I love working with people like you keep learning and growing and experiencing life to the fullest. That's the best. Mike Koenigs 04:49 Well, I am. I have been we met at TLC the first time and I've seen your work we got to spend some time together now. We've been working together. And I've spent three days with you. And my favorite part of this other than the fact that just watching my wife crying with you a moment ago, I mean, she really went to a deep place. And that just really touched me. And also just how vulnerable Zach got when he worked with you. I didn't know what he was experiencing, even though we talk a lot about this. I mean, he had 21, he's remarkably transparent. But what really excited me was, Abby, who has been working with you was really motivated by it. And then Elliott, our creative director, spent an hour and a half with you. And he just said, you know, he has a mind blowing insight, which I don't even know all of it yet. He hasn't shared it with me. But let's begin with the subconscious because you've done over 126,000 sessions over 34 years, which is a lot. Let's begin with the subconscious because that is the key to what you do. Beyond what happens inside the heart. Dr. Lise Janelle 06:07 Yeah, exactly. Well, most people don't know. And that's why I like that, quote, you won't create what you won't create what you believe, because people are not aware that relatively speaking your conscious mind. So you set a goal you have, you know, I'm going to meet this much. And this year, we're going to have be my relationship or my health, I'm going to lose weight, I'm going to have top performance as an athlete, all of these things, that your conscious part is about relatively speaking, the size of a football, your subconscious mind that's in charge of your survival, it's, it's there to keep you alive without the subconscious mind, something would have happened to to get to you is the football field. Yeah. So look at the size of the football versus the football field. And most people are not aware of the stories and are ruling them, they have no idea about 95% of what we do is actually pre programmed, it comes from the stories we created as since we were in the womb coming through and and they are still ruling us even though we're adult, often we get stuck as a child, because we keep recreating the same stories over and over again. Mike Koenigs 07:19 It's so interesting, and what you talk about closing the gap between the conscious and subconscious is the key to 10x boosting your performance. So I know like a tremendous amount of your work has been certifying coaches, you've worked with a lot of instill do work with a lot of elite performers, high performers, Olympians, Hollywood types, a lot of business owners. Once you talk about like the commonalities there, and you know, where you see the big 10x happen, and I know we're going to provide at least some B roll, if not some real clips of some of the transformational work we've been doing. I'll probably show a clip of Vivian, if I can, if she's okay with that. But just talk about where the breakthroughs happen. And why. Dr. Lise Janelle 08:10 Well, this way is to give you an example, for example, this Olympic level skier came to see me she was on the World Cup, and she had not placed in two years. So look at that. She was a Canadian skier or Olympic levels. and Canada, you don't get much money. So you're doing this for no money. You're training all the time. You don't have any social life. So obviously, relatively speaking consciously, her mind wanted to win. But when I did the work with her, we found the moment that she had created a belief that went against that. And it was when she was a little kid. She was already winning a lot. And her brothers were not. So her mom not to upset the brothers was hiding her metals was hiding the trophy. So she didn't have to, you know, made them feel upset. So now she had associated winning with upsetting other people. Yeah. And so when you hang around, you teammates, they kind of become like, siblings, even your competitors. Sometimes they go for a drink afterwards. So subconsciously, she was constantly holding yourself back. Not to win. Yeah. So even though consciously obviously, like look at the size of the determination, you must have consciously to be an Olympic level athlete. Subconsciously, she was still sabotaging herself. So we did two sessions together. So I did not, you know, other stories that were there, but she ended up placing on the podium that time. And I would like to give the listener an experience of what it's like to have conditioned response because I'm going to guide you to a very easy one. Be very present. So if you present you're going to feel it All right. So I want you to imagine that I have a nice juicy lemon in front of you. And I cut this lemon in half and it's squirting and you can smell the lemon. I'm taking that half of a lemon and I'm cutting it in half again. So I have a nice quarter of lemon. It's juicy. And I'm asking you to bite into it plays by into my 11. Mike Koenigs 10:24 Yep, okay. Dr. Lise Janelle 10:25 Oh, I'm salivating. Are you salivating? I've done this with so many people. Like right now for me, like I'm feeling the celebration, it's Parker inside my mouth. I don't have a lemon. But your physiology right now is responding as though there is a lemon in front of you. So we ended up associating certain events with certain reaction, and consciously you want to override them, but you can't because your physiology is just bringing it back. That's why it's amazing for athletes, people have responsibilities and people who know that when the going gets tough, they gotta be clear minded. They want to have no self doubt that the decision they're taking is the appropriate decisions. Those are the people usually we love working with, with me, parents who don't want to bring their stories on to their kids and entrepreneurs and in love life. You can use this anytime we you know, you don't want to be bothered by the stories. Mike Koenigs 11:23 Right, right. Well, I know you and I haven't talked about this yet, but I've been deep into Walter Isaacson's book The biography about Elon Musk. And in that Walter spent well over 100 hours with Elon, which is very unusual that he like he did not get to do that when he was with Steve Jobs. And you really get into knowing why Elon is the way he is where his dad was super just a total Jackass to him. I mean, really, really mean and he got the crap kicked out of him. Plus he was Asperger's. So he was socially awkward, people made fun of them just beat the crap out. And he was small until he wasn't. And he learned some judo. But before that, ultimately, you really get a strong sense of where his willingness to just go up against the wall is and fight and fight back and not back down and be ruthless when he had to be. And to this day, they talked about dark Elon, in that dark Elon scene with with jobs and how a lot of high performers if when I interpret what they're like, based upon my experience with your work now, what you have the ability to do is go through a process, identify those subconscious stories that are drivers, oftentimes things we forgotten about, were completely unconscious or unaware of that can go back to, you know, in utero or wherever, right and it just like what happened with Vivian, like she didn't understand where her anxiety was coming from about Zack and where her unconscious fears have been driving her. And I can totally see that after I set. I mean, that whole session was less than 20 minutes that you did with her. And it was like, boom, okay. Breakthrough. And your process allows anyone to learn the process and use it on themselves, you know, you can go through and I always say, you know, it's better to do an immersive therapeutic session and be held accountable by a coach and do this on a regular basis until it becomes absolutely normal. And it's one of the reasons why, you know, my dad went to church every single day, as long as I've known him until he passed just about well, until he couldn't. Mike Koenigs 13:49 And, you know, it's just because he wanted that kind of reminder, that kind of discipline. And, you know, to in a lot of ways I hadn't I've never said this before, but it was a spiritual high performer. He wasn't just a religious guy, he really, you know, walked it and talked it and he behaved that way. very principled. So Mike Koenigs 14:12 I don't know if you have anything to add to that. But these are just my observations. And I'm so raw from this right now after going through it, observing it, witnessing it multiple times. Any any other thoughts about Dr. Lise Janelle 14:23 so what you were telling about Elon to me is like the perfect example. And I, I find that there are two stages to human development. The first stage the unconscious asleep infantile stage, and we all get through it. And the second one is the mature, awakened, conscious stage. Everybody gets through stage one, but not everybody makes it to stage two. And what's the difference between stage one and stage two in stage one, you get your sense of self from the way the world reacts to you. So we're constantly at the mercy of the external world so you're not in your power. I called stage one hell on earth, but we all have to go through it and, and in a way, what's really important to understand is, is that everything that's happened to you that was challenging is not because something was wrong with you. Because if you had your own son going through the same thing you went through, you will know some not because something is wrong with you, you as a parent, you would look and say, I love my son, it's not because this has happened, that's something is wrong with him, he still deserves to be worthy of love. But as as we go through life with these stories, we we create self doubt that really hold us back. And I found an analogy that I find really works well with my clients is that So stage one is kind of like the boot camp. And I find there are like three types of boot camps. That's my metaphor. So some people are born in a musical would camp. Life is easy. I always use my ying and yang also. I got my en, yeah, so the ying yang is to represent support and challenges. So if you go into musical bootcamp, like you were born in a family and things were easy, easy peasy, usually, you know, it's, you're not so strong, you didn't get the development, the push to build your your strength and your stamina, then some people are born into an athletic bootcamp. And so they're you get supported and challenged, so you get pretty good resistance. And then there are people who are born in the some people are born into the, what I call the Navy SEAL boot camp, and the Navy SEAL boot camp is, you know, Hell Week, if you don't die, or if you manage to graduate from hell week like You're a superhero. Yeah. And what happened is, I find a lot of very driven people often had a Navy SEAL type of upbringing, like Elon is a perfect example to me. Yeah. And the only problem with the bootcamp when we're not awake is that we end up feeling something must be wrong with me for this to happen, and nothing is wrong. And that's a big part of my work is to show that the bigger the challenge experience in your life is just the more it empowered you. And once you can start having gratitude, this is gratitude. This is infatuation. This is resentment, this is gratitude. When you have gratitude for the events of your life, now you're free. The ultimate test is, if you if you could do it all over again, would you do it? Or would you let your own kids go through the same? And if you can say yes, I mean, you're totally free. You can, you know, you've healed your life. So basically, the pain that we experience in stage one, that's why we try to we try to run away from pain towards pleasure, hence stage one. In stage two, this is remembered as this is my visual for success. All right. So this is the the Yin, which is the female principle of listening, even if you're a man, you don't have the Yin. And this is the Yang, which is the male principle of acting. So to be truly successful, you need to listen to your heart and your heart wants you to know two things. The first thing your heart wants you to know as you're worthy of love, and want you to do everything it can you can to get rid of the illusion to the opposite. The second thing your heart wants you to know is it wants you to admit your dreams and aspiration, you need to become clear, you need to know who you are. Why are you here, because it's like if I gave you a canvas with paint, but you don't know what kind of picture you want to paint. Every day you wake up, you put some paint on your, on your canvas, you will have something very beautiful, but if you know like you want to paint our horse or bear a bird, then you can have something powerful. So most people don't spend the time creating clarity around what is it that makes my heart sing, not what society tells me I should do. I can work with Hollywood that people like they have fame, they have millions of fans, they have private jets, the whole thing, and they still not happy Why? Because you will never find true success outside of yourself. You need to pay attention. And then it becomes about getting organized. To to take the time that you have, you're really good at that, like you are so efficient with your time like you know your values, you know what you're doing, and you are organizing your time around your highest value. That's what makes you successful. I see a direct correlation between men and women who are highly aware of their highest value and organize their time around that and that's makes you so stage two a call that creating heaven on earth. I know you're not to fire too much. Mike Koenigs 19:49 Always get afraid that it gets misunderstood. It's not really just like, Okay, what does that mean? I mean, like, I kind of know what I mean. But you know, like my left brain is not engaged. I get it on the right It rains outside. So it just depends on which yen or Which gang I'm sitting on that thing. Dr. Lise Janelle 20:03 So if you like, stage one is kind of like hell on earth because it constantly spinning and all these things trying to find your worth. And it never works, because you're trying to change how people feel about you. So you feel worthy. So it's yeah, for me, it feels like hell. So when you enter stage two, it's like, it becomes a new game. The game is, I'm going to listen to my heart. And then I'm going to organize my time because our time like can be pulled every which way every day, every seconds. Like you go into the computer, you go on the internet, and all of a sudden, you go, wow, where am I? So that's why we need to be really clear about what it is we want in life, and then organize and the more you do that, the happier you're gonna feel. Because it's like, if you speak to me, and while you speak to me, I look away. After a while, if we were in a long term relationship, and I did that to you all the time, you probably feel like she doesn't care about me make you feel depressed. Yeah. Well, your heart is speaking to you all the time is saying, hey, I want this. You're not paying attention. But let's say you speak to me, and you tell me that, hey, I like Thai food. And next time we get together and make a reservation at Thai restaurant, you're gonna go wow, not only did she listen to me, but she did something for me. And the same thing will happen to you. When you listen to you heart, and you organize your time to give you a hard what it wants. You feel that little voluminous ly hmm, paying attention. This is how you actually lift depression, because I'm going to use a word that hypocrite and I'm using, because we cannot be hypocrites. Expecting the world around us to drop everything they're doing to give us the happiness that we are not even invested in giving ourselves. Yeah. And it's not a selfish thing. Because if you listen to your heart, your hearts gonna say I want to be loved. And I want to love. So you're not going to be selfish, because if you love you won't be selfish. Like, the more you pay attention to your heart, it's going to be holistic, you're going to touch on all the different areas of your life, and you're going to start living from levels I love to do not I got to do Yeah, I love to do it that are in that really increases your energy, you want more energy, start doing the stuff you're doing because you love doing it not because you got to do it. Mike Koenigs 22:24 Yeah, that's really good. I haven't told you this before. But I use this phrase. The level above being a human being is to be a human expression. And to be fully expressed, yes. And, you know, I, there's two, two moments in my life that I think were truly transformational. And when I, when I'm listening to you right now, it's like, okay, how do I spend more time recreating those, and they happen during the most humbling difficult times. And one of them was a Vivian moment where I was really struggling. And it was right after I'd sold my last company, and I sold it because I had to get out, I just had to stop because I thought it was gonna die. This is, you know, probably five, six years after cancer, five years. And I knew that I'd kill myself spiritually. If I kept on doing what I was doing, I could just feel it. And I was suicidal and depressed for the first time that I remember in my life, which is not my normal Mo. So it was sort of like I had a what do they say a four alarm fire call going on. And I had lost my courage. And I just ended all it'll always come from and I think some of it had to do with this transitional going from doing what I do, and feeling like I had to get approval in love because otherwise I couldn't earn. So I was a performer. I wasn't I couldn't be in my heart, but I wasn't all the time. And Vivian said something to me along the lines of...I've never ever seen you not figure it out. And and she stopped me and said you're a multimillionaire, you know, there's nothing to worry about, you're gonna be fine. Like you could just not do anything for years and we'll be fine. And I've never really felt into that before it was like I was still on a race that it's my 20 year old self was on and it just that was a bad subconscious program. Well for a good one from your point of view, right? Dr. Lise Janelle 24:30 It was in stage one but he rents it runs on a fuel like that's what ended up happening and we're driven and I find for many men when I work with them is that they're all sense of self is in making money. And if they're not money, nobody's gonna love me, which is not true. Mike Koenigs 24:45 Yeah. And I had been past that stage but I hadn't. I was stuck at level one. I really see that now. When I when I listen to you and understand your process. Now. I've seen it mapped out you know, we've been spent three days on this together. The second big breakthrough was, and I've talked about this on this podcast before, was I went to Dan, I said, What do you think I should do next? And he said, Well, I need to talk to seven entrepreneurs and ask him some questions. And he said, You're going to No, it won't take long. And it took two conversations, and I knew what I'd be doing next, which is what I'm doing now, you know, and it's, and what you said, I think is right, when I finally really, really got clear on my worth, and my time, and could turn off everything else. And it without the illusion that something was going to go away, or I wouldn't be enough. So it was the separation from the level one. And I never realized that until just now listening to you. So thank you for that. That was great. All right.So I'm going to ask you a couple more questions, if I would. Because you have some really powerful smart tools, and their vehicles to open up the subconscious awareness and stop living inside this unconscious. Insanity. Okay, the first one, we've been calling it the insanity loop. So why don't you, you just tell us what the insanity loop is, and what is c ausing it, and then how you shatter it or break it. Dr. Lise Janelle 26:24 So um, basically, there are three parts to the unconscious phase of life, which is the stage one, and one is we run away from pain towards pleasure. So let's say you were born in the family and your brother was very academics, but you didn't do so well at school, maybe you became a really good athlete. So we off we, we find ways of compensating for we compensation off and it drives us and it's important, it gives us talents, insides, networks that we both belong to, but it's still driven from fear, the fear of something is wrong with us. The other mechanism in the cycle of insanity is our ego. We swear and never going to be like my mom, my dad, my brother, my sister, my uncle, whoever, so we were using eagle to drive us or we try to be like them, because we think they're so amazing. So instead of trying to be ourselves, we're trying to be or not to be someone and that creates, you know, this sense that you're going nowhere, because it's not your heart, but it does drive you and gives you access to amazing things you wouldn't get going on otherwise. And then the third one is the subconscious believed the Pavlovian conditioned response that, you know, we've been talking about. So those three things are there. And the way out of stage one is to become really curious as to how you stage one was helping you become everything you want to deep down. Once you understand you can look at it as the bootcamp it's just a bootcamp. Like if you send your kids to a boot camp and they come back, is it because something is wrong with them that they went to that boot camp? No. So the boot camps that you were introduced into on planet Earth, they were important, they were part of you divine design, like I'm not religious, I'm spiritual. And I believe that nothing happens without it being connected to the deepest desires within your heart. And you will attract support and challenge to help you get there. And I've asked this to 1000s of people and I do public speaking, and when I teach my son was out, raise your hand if you've never had huge challenges. And so far, only one person raised their hand. He was a young girl, she kissed me. Yeah, sorry. Again, I'm scared. Like when something's gonna happen, what's gonna happen to me? Because if you're a superior human being, if you got your act together, what you're going to learn to do is you're going to learn to use all the challenges to your advantage. Don't run away from challenges, ask yourself, I find there's two reasons why we have a challenge. It's either because you need to master something, because if you hadn't mastered obviously, it wouldn't be a challenge. So you're being asked to learn something. The second one is it's sending you in a direction that you either know that you need to go but you're resisting going because you're stuck in your comfort zone. Yeah. I know, I need to change my job. This is killing me. But oh, I'm making good money. I'm gonna stay there. But deep down, it's killing you. So then you attract what I call the baseball bat. Yeah, something happens when you go, wow, like, I can't stay there. Or sometimes we don't even know. And that's how I actually I ended up doing this kind of work because in 1988, my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was given nine months to live. That was three weeks before my sister's wedding. One week after my sister's wedding, my 21 year old brother died in a car accident hmm And then within a month of this my eight year relationship to them, and I thought I was gonna marry. And it was like, Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. So that challenge that I face, I was not aware. But it sent me on the quest to understand how do you live life when these things happen, because it's not if they will happen, and it's not because something is wrong with you. So it's super important. Once you start looking at life as everything happening for you. And instead of to you, it creates a shift in your consciousness, that creates a different reality. Because if you change the reactions to the events of your life, you will change your future imagination, and therefore your destiny. So by shifting your perception of the events, by taking the time, if you love yourself enough, you're going to these things that happen that I remember fighting the time and make a list of all the blessings that came in my life from it, you just doing that you've transcended a big part of the stories that have been driving, you can still do the subconscious belief that you at least consciously, you can shift. So when you have a smart person, they're not going to get stuck in only reproducing what's fun, because that takes you on tangents that take you away from your heart, and you won't resist the challenges. You start thinking then when you go, it sounds corny, but it works. Take a breath and you go. Since I'm worthy of love. How am I going to use this challenge to my advantage? What is this asking me to do that I wouldn't be doing otherwise? Oh, is this to my benefit? Is it driving me somewhere I need to go is asking me to master something. And once you start doing this, like you're fully in stage two, creating a new game. Yeah, Game of creating an amazing, extraordinary life, not just an average life and an extraordinary life. Mike Koenigs 32:03 Hey, this is Mike Koenigs Sorry to interrupt the podcast. But if you're an action taker, and ready to transform and reinvent yourself and your business go to connect to mike.com To learn more, and book a conversation with me right now. All right back to the episode, you and I have gotten into spirited conversations, because there's two teeth, and I think I told you this. So one of the things that you're really good at doing, you really genuinely live in the world of what I would call a refrain. Right? And Joe Polish calls these things success traps, you know, when you get into a point where you're just living in the pleasure, and you're avoiding growth. And I was with a ultra high net worth individual last night and had a conversation. And he was telling me how much he wants to reinvent himself how much he wants his next act. But when I told him about some of the mental and emotional risks he'll have to take, he of course, retreated back into his little safe, happy zone. And I just stopped them at some point I go, You know what your real issue is, you're bored. You know, you you aren't challenged anymore, and you wouldn't have reached out and asked for this. But now you're trying to talk yourself out of it. And you're stuck in the success loop. And, and that's why you don't feel like you're growing. Dr. Lise Janelle 33:30 And that's why that's why you need a great why you need to have a bigger why Yeah, then what you have right now is like, sometimes people when you know they want to coach with me, I do an exploration call sessions with them. And, you know, I asked them what are their dreams and aspirations? And then I asked them, so How committed are you to making that happen? Oh, they see like seven or eight. I said like, Do you know anything that's gonna happen at seven? I like why not? 10 Then I say, imagine that unless you make this happen. Your child is going to die. Would you make it happen? Nigga? Yeah. So So what's the difference? You know, you could have it, but you're not willing to do the work for yourself, but you would be willing to do it for somebody else. Right? So you need to find your why what's my Why Why am I going to go out of my comfort zone and I can guarantee you from actually got to be on stage with the people from the movie, The Secret and the law of attraction and that and I use this and I'm going to kick out of doing that for them. Because this is a true law of attraction. You stay in your comfort zone feels What does you know easy pleasure for attract challenges. Either you get the baseball bat like I got in 1988 or you feel depressed. Something happens you will you cannot creating just one polar, you need both polarities to have. So if you stay in your comfort zone On your track challenges, but if you challenge yourself, you attract happiness. You will not have more pain and pleasure more pleasure than then the only thing you can do is choose to form it's going to come in your life. Maybe I'm a control freak, but I would rather challenge myself then wait for the baseball, you can do it. Mike Koenigs 35:18 I agree. I agree. I think that's being in a place of service where you're constantly challenged is is is key to that. Okay, so let's move on to another one is jumping from level one to two. And you've got this little story about Helge because one of the unexpected things like I had my own near deaths, circumstance, that which really taught me a lot about Mike Koenigs 35:44 patience, and time, and the value of time but also the preciousness of body, you know, and I never would have said, I took my body for granted, but you really learn how not to take your body for granted when it's broken and doesn't work and you're not sure if you'll ever get it back again. So once you tell the the Helge story, because it's a good level one to level two, which is another one of your tools. Dr. Lise Janelle 36:08 Yeah. Well, Helge, it was interesting. Helge was, she's really driven, she's so smart, she's amazing. And she was a lawyer on Bay Street and Canada, which is like the Wall Street of the United States. And she was partner there, and she was doing all these things. But her heart was not feeling so good there. And she wanted to shift, but she was stuck in her comfort zone. And she went to on a holiday in Corsica. And she had a car accident, when the car is spinning, she's outside her body, and she's going like, I think I need to do this. So then her coaching became with me, it's like, okay, you're gonna help me transition from this place. And, like, a lot of people are very driven, it's hard to let go the image and the sense of self that we get from, you know, how we are performing. And so I helped her do that and become more connected to her heart and, and she says, what she's done now is she does, she does what she loves, instead of tolerating what she was doing, just to get the money. Mike Koenigs 37:15 But when you went back, because I remember one of the things that you talked about before she went through this moment, she ended up being coming when you're certified coaches, but her barriers, the blocks that she wasn't aware of, maybe she was but it was a programming about her upbringing with mentally ill parents. But like, what was when you did the deep work, and you really got to her core subconscious program programming that was keeping her stuck that you see in so many people like what was that Dr. Lise Janelle 37:48 the sense that she would be only safe if she was doing the thing she's got to do instead of the things that she loved to do. Mike Koenigs 37:57 So in that particular case, she had been in survival mode so long that she didn't couldn't see it. Dr. Lise Janelle 38:03 And it was so cool, because once she's, you know, she stopped being a law lawyer. It took her like a year about more than a year to heal herself. She says, I realize, I've so exhausted and I didn't like it. When I hear these stories. I've, I feel so happy because my background is holistic chiropractor. So I understand health. And I know that if she had not stopped, she wouldn't have tracted, some kind of disease to make her stop. We can't cheat the system. We really can we think we can hide in pleasure, it won't work very long. Doesn't happen. So that's why we need to have a big why. What's your why? Why do you want to do this? Why do you want to transition into something bigger and better? Sometime? It's about stopping to do things and looking at your life? And how am I going to look at all the different parts that matter to me, my family, my health, my career, my finances? Like the quality of the life that you live depends on the quality of the questions you ask. So if you ask high quality questions, like how can I make the same amount of money working half as much so I have more time to do all the other thing that becomes a new game. And you will find the answer the more you play that game, the more that's going to become your game. Mike Koenigs 39:18 So I am curious, though, out of the over, you know, over 120,000 sessions that you've done, and I know if before I had my big struggle, and my case a couple of them you know they're my reinvention moments, you know, I've had five significant professional ones. I if you would have said What's your why I couldn't answer that until I had already been through the storm. The why showed up afterwards. So in your experience, is anyone good at figuring out their why before the moment before the cycle then like, what's that look like? And what's the tool to identify, find and be able to? Yeah, get to that destination? Dr. Lise Janelle 40:06 That's a great question. I have a seminar called extreme freedom. Because for me, Freedom is the ability to live by the values of your heart. It's the value, it's being able to listen to your heart, and then do what your heart do. And so there we create a statement of purpose. We spent a whole day asking you why, what's my why, but in a nutshell, I can give you the coals note, okay? The goal is no, there's your mission in life, if you wish to accept it, is to bring the best out of yourself. And when you do that, what's the why for that, just to bring the best of yourself is an amazing experience. You feel alive, you feel like you're, you're doing what you supposed to be doing. I remember watching an interview with Cindy Clawson. And she's an Canadian, the Olympics skate skier, skate skater. And she won five medals at the Olympics. She also did cycling and she was like she her legs are like, this big. And the interviewer asked yourself, what do you think is the secret to your success? She goes, Well, I feel God has given me these talent. And my job is to bring the best out of them. So she take a time, like, you know, as kids, we look to our parents to take care of us. And if you're a parent, often you look at your little kid and you go, okay, how am I going to bring the best out of my kid? How am I going to bring being to be the best version of themselves? Well, now you're not a kid. Nobody is in charge of doing this for you. You are in charge of doing that for yourself. Like you need to spend like walk How am I going to bring the best out of myself and, and like the knowledge area, the family area, the finance, the career, the your health, your environment, your spiritual life. All of these environments are important how we're going to bring, I call that living the game of life. So how am I going to use all the different areas of my life and start living instead of from the gut to level to the love to level? Okay. Mike Koenigs 42:13 Okay, so let's do conscious subconscious cycle one another one of your tools. And you and I talked about, you've worked with a bunch of Olympians, but there was I think Larissa and Alex were two of them. So once you talk about the conscious subconscious cycle as a tool, and you know, you had two high performers, both of them had reached their software suffer limits ceiling, right. Again, typical for all high performers, and it's usually in a place you've been ignoring mine for a long time was like I had a deep fear of team building, because I had made so many bad mistakes. And it's interesting, I think I've mentally gotten past a lot of them. But I still had the subconscious programming operating until we did our little session the other day, I'm like, Okay, now I know where at least have a fundamental you know, I let the old fear go. And I wasn't conscious of what the haunting was. So talk a little bit about the conscious subconscious. Dr. Lise Janelle 43:23 Yeah, you can know the story in your head. But as long as you don't take care of the subconscious part in the subconscious, actually, this is your whole body's your subconscious. So you store just like when I did the lemon story, you know, ringing the bell, all those are the new, you start. salivating is the same thing for us. Until you cannot do what we call spiritual bypass. Oh, yeah, I know, this is good, you know, this, like, this doesn't touch me. Because you know, I mean, like, Bs, take the time to become present with it so that the neuro peptides are taken out of your body. And then when you can actually integrate it by seeing how it was actually perfect for you. And then you bring it to the moment of gratitude, it's an amazing transformation and happen, you cannot do this through your head, it will come back all the time. It's not eliminated. As long as it's only your head that knows this. It's not going to go away, you need to integrate and that's why I created this method called the heart freedom method that allows me to find a moment you start the story I designed for you. Physiology, then I allow you to move consciously for so basically, you heart you know is your highest consciousness like subconsciously, you know, you want a certain goal. And then when you align your subconscious now you don't have the resistance anymore, then you can take actions because the only difference between an ordinary person and an extraordinary person is their ability to take action. So the big thing I do and I work with my clients As I help remove the blocks that prevent them the stories that prevent them from being successful. And, you know, from working with 1000s of people. I see like general patterns. Our relationship with our mother often rules the romantic life, the familiar life. What we learn about love comes from, I would say, it's 8020. Our relationship with our Father is how successful we can be in life in our career and finances. And our siblings how big we can be in the world. So when I work with top performing athletes, or even people like you're at work, and you want a promotion, it's always your colleagues that get the promotion, never you why, because at some level, there is a fear that if I step up into my greatness, it's going to upset other people around me, especially men and their father. There's a subconscious belief that it's like, the alpha male in the family is the Father. And if you're the, you know, the younger one, you do better, if the better becomes more successful than the alpha, it will threaten the dynamics of the family, so often son will hit the ceiling, within their consciousness. They're allowing themselves to go to that they think, Okay, so my parents could accept that. That's why when I read the biography with the Lance Armstrong, I saw his anger with his father, remember, the three mechanism one was his ego, I'm gonna show my father. So he was able to be more successful than his father because his anger was driving him, like Elon is anger was driving him. So you can go further. So we have all these patterns happening, and we're not even aware of it all. So people think that they know what their beliefs are. And they have no idea. Like, last week, I'm working with this man. Pretty cool guy. I love working with men. Because often men are not comfortable feeling their emotions. But once they understand to actually look in there, it's not going to be like this Pandora box, I'm going to open that's going to blow up in my face. Actually, if I go in there, I'm going to become more powerful. It's like, like, man, just go. It's so cool. So anyway, I was testing him on being successful. And we ended up to seven years old. He said, Nothing happened at seven years old, like his self worth was impacted. Like nothing happened. That's, and then, oh, my God. He said, Oh, yeah, I used to start her. And the kids at school used to make fun of me. I was bullied because of that. And it's like, he starts crying. And he's reading all these things. But he walked out of the session, like totally transformed guy, you can see it, it's like, all of a sudden his energy goes up. And he's like, he's letting go of the stories that were blocking him. Mike Koenigs 48:02 Yeah, that's the definitely see a physiological change. You can see that with Zack, when you did something with him, he definitely walked out as posture change with Vivian today, I could feel she noticeably felt lighter. And, you know, she's had a heavy heart with a lot of parental stuff over the past few years. So that's good. And I think I'm going to repeat what you just said about the siblings. And that was something that you saw consistently with the Olympians is they were held back because they either didn't feel like they had permission or someone would look bad in the family. And I was trying that out because like, I'm the oldest. Dr. Lise Janelle 48:46 So I will this often do that. Well hold themselves back not to make the youngest one cry. Mike Koenigs 48:51 So I never did that. I was I was, uh, you know, I I've messed with my my pores, my poor brothers. We get along great. Now we really get along great. But they I mean, I was pretty ruthless with them. But we like, like, with my dad. I never, I just felt misunderstood. Like, he just didn't get me and he thought technology was a big waste. So when he finally saw what I did when I became a millionaire in my 20s and then again and again and again, he would apologize. He apologized for at least 25 years just saying I just didn't understand. And, and my mom to some degree, that's another that's a more complicated one with relationships, but with siblings. I like I wasn't good at school and I wasn't good at sports. And part of that is I just didn't play games I wasn't good at so when it came to sibling stuff, there was no rivalry because my parents had no choice but to focus on them and I Got that at an early age, it was like, I know, I definitely had abandonment issues. No doubt about it. That definitely motivated me. But my, my mechanism for dealing with it was not to play games. I couldn't win. So I made up my own, which is why I've never been good at school. I just didn't care. It wasn't motivated by it. And I'm unemployable. Like, I just wouldn't I, Dr. Lise Janelle 50:26 I always would be better blessing. Yeah. Right. And entrepreneurs. Mike Koenigs 50:30 Yeah, I think that's pretty common when I talk to other entrepreneurs is like, and I never hire me. Dr. Lise Janelle 50:35 But I want to talk to this because, like, for example, you say, Okay, I never held myself back. But sometimes that's the quantum you play. And because, let's say, Yeah, you're made to make 100 million. Uh huh. But you're gonna stay at 10 million? Because 10 million is reasonable. Yeah, there's no question. It's always relative to you, and you feel it would be acceptable. And with one of the Olympian athletes, it was so interesting, because she was younger than her brother, and she could run faster and her brother, she could do all constant. And he was bigger than her and she could beat him. And she ended up in competition with this athlete who had been playing who had been wrestling longer than her. So she had the belief that she could not beat her because it would be bad for her ego, that girl, so then you could see I watched a game go on the on the mat. And it was on TV, and I'm watching her and I know her like, she's got this beautiful, and she gets there with that opponent. The other one was not like that you get on. And all of a sudden, it could see the physiology changing. And she'd lost because she had this belief. So now we've worked on this. I'm really happy. I know it's gonna be different. The next time she has a competition with Hertz. I think we knit No, but I think it's going to be beautiful. Mike Koenigs 52:03 Interesting, interesting. Well, let's, let's do the last tool that you have you called the heart freedom circle. And it's your integration exercise. And when we were preparing today, I know you have a couple of stories, like one of them was guy named Jeff. And then there's the fat the couple, they were having health slash sex issues. So I'm only seeing those two, because the two things I remember, and I've looked at the heart freedom circle, but why don't you just talk about how you do your integration. And, again, I'm going to make the safe assumption that one of the we've got several bonuses we're going to provide to our listeners and our viewers. One of them is a masterclass that we recorded, that goes deep into your how, you know, like how this whole system works, and deeper in some case studies. More into the tools, we've got a couple other bonuses, a relationship bonus, also a journal bonus. And then I'm going to just go on the record. And hopefully Vivian will be cool with us releasing her session, because I think, then you can witness the motion. And you can see the physiology shift in in 20 minutes. So I'm just gonna say those are some of the goodies and giveaways we're gonna have here. But you know, when someone goes through the experience, like I have, and Zach has, and Vivian you've got the heart freedom circle, where you really connect all your wants, your desires, your dreams, with the emotions, what is it? How's it work? How's that for setting up for you? Dr. Lise Janelle 53:46 Yes, that's a big setup. I started with the promise that our essence is love. It's who we are. It's not an emotion. It's a state of being, it's actually who we are. So the good news with that is that everybody has access to that if they choose to. So the more connected we are with this, the more we still in some areas of our life, we feel strength in some of our areas of our life, we feel weaknesses, and the strengths and weaknesses create different emotions, and thoughts that we experience and all the different areas of life that we have. And I love, love love working with couples. Because, for me, a romantic relationship is a spiritual evolutionary tool. What do I mean by that? Because the only way you're going to have a great relationship with another person is if you start having a good relationship with yourself. So if you're in a relationship and you start having your buttons pushed in the relationship, and then you start blaming your partner, if you're wise instead you're going to start using what you don't like in them and reflected on yourself. For example, you're talking about this couple so this woman brings me a husband for me to fix them because she He was right. And he was wrong. And obviously, he was wrong because she wanted to have sex with him and he couldn't get an erection for sure she's right is wrong. Let's fix them. Let's fix this problem. Mike Koenigs 55:13 So I know what the problem is. Dr. Lise Janelle 55:17 So I know better because I've done this long enough. Yeah, so I turned to her instead. And I check her on, I'm ready, willing and able to make love with my husband. And lo and behold, she didn't want subconsciously, consciously. She swore she wanted to. But subconsciously, you hadn't had the stroke, right, three years prior. And she was afraid what's gonna happen to me if I love him with all my heart. And on top of that, we had this great sexual connection. And if she dies, I'm going to be devastated. So she couldn't handle one. Mike Koenigs 55:47 But not I said this right away. Every man dreams of dying that way, every man I know Anyway, keep going. Dr. Lise Janelle 55:53 But she was not afraid of killing him, she was afraid for herself died. Because it's what happens to me, it's always about us. And when I tested him on, I want to make love with my wife, he was afraid that if he loved her, and they had great sex, what would happen to her when he died? So what I've learned is that in a relationship, any relationship, one person looks like the good guy, that person looks like the bad guy. But actually, whatever is happening in the relationship serves both people. Because if all of a sudden you had gone got Viagra or something, and then you had sex with her, she would have run away. I know that because I've done this with often enough people that they come to see me they claim they want this thing, the more you claim, you want something from your mate, and then giving it to you, I guarantee you, deep down you don't want yeah, because I think, again, from working with 1000s of couples. Having an open heart can work, or having great sex can work, or having an open heart and great sex, that's the ultimate frontier. This is where you need mastery. Because again, there's always a polarity in every situation, there's a part of us when you in relationship, which is afraid of being abandoned, and the other part of us that's afraid of being engulfed. Yeah. And that's a big one. Like, if I love this person, didn't gonna ask me to do all these things that I don't have time to do, and I won't be able to do my thing. So I'm just gonna close myself out a little bit. And, you know, if I love them, and then on top of that, I have sex with them, I'm gonna lose myself. And that's one reason also, when new babies come in a couple, the woman often stop wanting to have sex with the partner, because she's feeling and golf is feeling I'm giving my whole self to this baby, I don't have space for myself. And like, Don't you dare touch me, just stay away from me, because she feels she's lost her whole sound. That's why if you want to have great sex in your relationship with a new baby, like in the beginning, for sure, you need some time, just dial up. But make sure that the woman especially you have time for yourself, you need time for self. Because if you don't have time for self, you can only take so much and you won't want your husband to touch you. And it's important. What I want to say about sexuality and relationship is that if two people have the same sex drive, it's great. If one doesn't have a high sex drive, and the other one has a high sex drive, both people's needs are important. It's not because you don't you have low sex drive, and you shouldn't listen to your partner. You know, often it's hormone or some beliefs around sexuality that makes you feel like having sex is a bad thing. You know, find a way that both people are happy. Yeah, it's it's super important to do that. And then you were asking me about the other one. So I have Jeff and Jeff. She made Justin's green guy, big burly guy with a beard and a really smart guy. And he does programming and he's very smart. And you wouldn't believe that this guy likes this work. But he's actually amazing at doing the work. It's kind of binary. It's very logical, though work. And him and Lindsey his partner, they say, I don't know how more most relationship can go through life without using this tool. Because when you have a fight in your relationship, it's rarely actually about what's happening. It comes from deep seated fear of being abandoned or in golf. That's what's happening. So you can fix problems that would take years in like half an hour, just by finding what's the real story behind this. Mike Koenigs 59:50 Yeah, yep. Okay. I have a lot a lot of ideas here. But what I want to do is bring In this too, you've got a variety of programs, you know, I've experienced them now, you've got your certification program, you've got elite coaching for high performers and families, which I think is really, really cool. Because getting teenagers getting kids on the same page with parents is always difficult. There's only a few people I know who really do it well. And then you've got some of your experiential events as well. So once you just talk a little bit about who your right fits are, and then we'll send everyone over and I'm just going to drop this right now. It's hard for you to method.com there, you're gonna get the masterclass the transcript, relationship checklist, the best friend journal, there's a meditation and then the demonstration. So lots of really cool goodies. But talk a little bit about the right who's who you have found naturally, like get the most out of this have the biggest breakthroughs and are also the ones who can share the love and make a difference in other people's lives. Dr. Lise Janelle 1:01:08 Yeah, my I did fire and so people are driven, driven to live a great life. People come to see me sometimes. And they say, Do you think I can have what I want, and I go, as long as you have an intense desire, and you're courageous. Because you're going to have to get out of your comfort zone. And so people graduated from the Navy SEAL bootcamp. If you had a tough childhood, usually, You're my ideal person, because you're going to be high performers are going to be driven, it will be easy for you to get out of your comfort zone and do what's good for you. So people are driven. People want to live an extraordinary life, just not an average life. top performer, athletes, business owners, entrepreneurs, family, people who are open minded and open spiritually, for me spirit and spiritualities is our highest form of it is unconditional love. So it's not religious, It's spiritual. And yeah, just people willing to do the work to get what they want. And they understand Santa Claus doesn't exist. Mike Koenigs 1:02:15 No unicorns, no unicorns. Dr. Lise Janelle 1:02:17 So here are the cards. Like, it was funny because one day I had this client, and she was in one of my seminars. And she was really upset because she found nobody supporting me. Like, that's why I say, you can never be challenged without being supported. And I go, that's not true. I know. The truth is, I know the truth. She goes, No, nobody supported me. She goes, I said, What is? Where did you get the support? She goes, How did you know I got what? I want $6 million in the lottery. But she says sometimes I wish I didn't get it. Because now I don't get up at bed. Sometimes in the morning. I don't do all the things I used to do before that's why it's important to have a why and your WHY SHOULD BE idly that you want to bring the best out of yourself. Why is it that people jump out of an airplane, because it's out of their comfort zone. Once you get out of your comfort zone, you feel alive, you feel passionate, you want to feel passionate in your life, you need to, to admit your dreams and aspiration, you need to it's scary sometimes like us, like okay, I'm gonna have to stop doing this business I'm doing and I got certain income coming from this, but it's killing me. So once you jump, it's like, whoa, like, it's exciting, you feel passionate, you feel alive, that those are the people. I want to work with people who want to have it all. That's what I'm looking for. Mike Koenigs 1:03:36 I'm gonna love that. I love that well done. Well, I'm gonna wrap this up, and then we're gonna say goodbye. So, but I'm gonna give you this opportunity. Because there's one other thing I convinced least to do, which was for the first eight people to respond, Lisa is actually going to give you a free breakthrough session. And normally she charges $1,000 to do that. So it basically means you're going to be able to sample her work, and she will go deep, fast. That's one of the things Abby who I work with. And if you know, Abby, she said, I couldn't believe how deep she went, how fast she went. So this is like, it's no BS, she's gonna get right passed, whatever that thing is. And she agreed to do that for eight people. All right, why aren't there 10 Because the first two people already responded, I told them about her already and they're like, Okay, first to God. So you want to head on over to hurt freedom method.com And they're at a minimum you're gonna get the masterclass the transcript, the happier relationship checklist, which passed the ABI test as well. Best friend Journal, the heart freedom method, meditation, and the demonstration with Vivian's you're going to see it happen in real time. And with that, I'm going to turn this back to you any last words before we wrap this up? Dr. Lise Janelle 1:04:49 Yes, I if you're listening to this right now, I want you to think about what is it that when you do it brings inspiration in your heart sometimes bring tears of inspiration you're in awe and you feel like this is the cat's meow. This is how I want to live the rest of my life. Challenge yourself and giving it to yourself and if you need help, make sure you ask us for help because that's the best way of getting where you want to go. Mike Koenigs 1:05:15 Nice, very nice. Okay, so with that, I'm going to wrap this up again head on over to heart freedom method.com This is capability amplifier if you've enjoyed it, or you know that there's someone who could benefit from listening to this watching it make sure you share that with them right now. And one of the things that Dan Sullivan and I always appreciate is for you, of course to share this and head over to iTunes. There give us five stars leave a comment it really makes a big difference. both Dan and I love looking at those comments as well. Elise and I are going to say goodbye right now say say goodbye to Dr. Lisa. Janelle thank you again for listening watching. We'll see in the next episode of capability amplifier. Bye bye bye