Friends: A Deleted Scene & Very Weird Sex Stuff

on with our lives. I am Jesse Stevens and I'm joined by Claire Stephens, and today we're talking about a little known American sitcom which aired on NBC from nineteen ninety four to two thousand and four, lasting ten seasons. It is named Friends, Yes, heard of it. I was a little extram again that I done pretty good deal?

It's misleading. It is it is. That's not even what the cafe was called. No, it's called Central per Yeah. It makes it sound like a thriller when no one can sleep. Would watch I would watch Insomnia Cafe. It's just not what Friends was. David Crane and Marta Kaufman began developing and So Cafe in nineteen ninety three and pitched it to NBC. If I'm NBC, I'm going what's the genre? Oh? Is a sitcom? No? No, no, I want a thriller or nothing? Yeah, And it went through

a few name changes. Firstly six of one six kind of like Party of five. I don't mind that, and then Friends like Us would have worked. Eventually it became friends Friends like Us. We have a lot of arguments at work, this place that we work at, where our boss she wants to put it the in front of everything, which is very the Facebook. Yeah, so we canceled. It'd be like, I think we should called it the canceled. It's like hundred crap years old, So what We're gonna

do is We're gonna drop the other? Yeah. The premise is that six friends, Ross Rachel, Wonika, Joey Chandler, and Phoebe, all twenty somethings, live in New York City. Over the course of ten years, they go through many life lessons, love stories, drama, friendship, and of course comedy. That sounds like a terrible premis like where is the dead body? Where is the local suburban drug dealer? Allah, breaking bad? It's weird that, like, what are the stakes? Tell me

about that? Coms? You couldn't really have a sitcom now? Oh, I guess it's like the Office. You couldn't have a sitcom because everything we watch needs a dead body. Yeah, we'd need like Rachel to be a dead woman and Jowey to be a detective order for it to work, because I don't know what the conflict, think about it and maybe just thinking about the perfect couple A gory grapdowns at the beginning, We life, real life, Who's gonna be? Well last night, I've been into that and in fact

I kind of did one on that couch. Ah. But despite my feedback, the final episode of Friends became one of the most watched finales in television history. Fifty two point five million Americans watched it. Did you hear the part where I said one of the most oh finalese, one of the most watched. I then became a sessed we've raising out of beat. We've got to be thinking pre streaming. Oh yeah, I thought, great. So I don't know, Friends is the fifth most watched finale. I'm gonna need

you to throw out someone's city incorrect again. I don't think watching that live. So I feld, yes, that was number four, number three, The Fugitive You've never heard, I've never heard of it, Number two the Sopranos, She is okay, Yeah? And then number one, No. Number one, most watched finale of all time. Nearly one hundred and six million Americans watched it. No, you've watched an episode of this, it's

one that you've watched. Mash oh Nan loved Masha six PM. Yeah, and it always made me think Mash usually she'd have some she would she would, and so I was like, Mash, Mash, this show is terrible. I googled the population of America at the time this actually broadcast, because it was nineteen eighty three, the population of America was two hundred and thirty three million. I repeat, one hundred and six million

Americans watched it. Okay, half of America, so half of America's were not busy and said, I will be watching some mash. What a beautiful cultural moment. I've watched a lot of Mash can't again. Not following Vietnam War, Apparently the series went for a lot longer than the war. In the final two seasons of Friends were not canceling. Mash Nan would roll over in her go no Mash can stand. She'd say, I think mash was meant to be funny. I don't know anyway. The cast were paid

one million dollars each per episode. And how many episodes were their final season do you reckon? I think they were eight. I think there was normally sixteen and they cut it ah down. It's credited as being the first real ensemble show. They all fought for them not to be a main character and wanted it, and didn't they negotiate together? And they did. They did unionized. They went full Hamilton and they said, we'll be paid together. But Claire Friends aired in the nineties, and if there's one

thing we know about the nineties. Problematic is that they were funked. My structure for today is as follows, Fat Monica, Ah, I remember Chandler broadly, weird sex stuff, a deleted episode, a note on the general takedown of friends, and finally the laugh track. Yeah, okay, on the laugh track. I have a bone to pick with the editors of this podcast. What I think we could have a laugh. Oh my gosh, we need a laugh I think we need a laugh track.

Whenever things get awkwards, there's a pause. Okay, we need the lovely person who does the audio editing of this Leah. I want her to insert a laugh track when she feels that it's needed. And maybe we weren't even making a joke so true, Maybe she just anything funny. Yeah, laugh track? Yeah, I got out of bed. I really want her to do that. It would make the podcast airable. Fat dude, don't do that to me. And it's cool.

You can stay here. My parents won't mind. No, it's not that I just want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister. Eh. Claire Monica, played by Courtney Cox, gets a lot of flashback scenes. In particular, there's an episode titled the One That could have been. And it's a two parter when Monica never lost weight. In case he didn't notice this while watching Fat Monica, who appears in flashbacks, he is just Courtney Cox in

fat suit. It went full shallow. How the nineties the early two thousands, they thought nothing was funnier and or more creative than a thin person. Yeah CODs playing, Yeah, yeah, as somebody bigger than they were. There was definitely someone who went around to writers' rooms and whenever it comes there there was a lull. Have you thought of a fat suit? My work here is done, walked out. I want to show you a picture of her, and I want you to tell me if you notice anything looking back.

All right, this is a picture of fat Monica. Oh wow, Oh she's not fat. Yeah, that's what I said. She's not fat. That was my note. She's just I've written this in my notes. She's simply a woman with breast. She is. She's a woman with breasts and hips. And they've crimped her hair as if to say, if you're not stick thin, your hair is bad, your hair is weird. And she's always holding food. Oh my god, my memory had been totally arrased. Yeah, this is why we were

also fucked up in the ninety I know. Okay, So there's an alternate opening sequence with Fat Monica, and I have it right here for you, and I want to just show you by alternate, do you mean on the episodes that she was in, it had this as the friend's intro, just press play. Okay, So what happens is Fat Monica jumps on the couch and the couch tips over because she's fair. Classic. Yeah, that's what happens. Classic. That is just right. The work that must have taken.

I come up with that joke getting your fat suit just so many hours and then analyzing why it's funny. Yeah, but it's not really very funny. In that episode, one of the complications is that Fat Monica is becoming increasingly concerned that someone sat on her chocolate bar. I believe it was a kit cat, which, by the way, genuinely distressing. It doesn't matter your size. It doesn't matter your size. If somebody sat on my kit cat, that would be

enough of complication in my story. In my day, if someone sat on my chocolate bar, I would be wondering if their body heat made it melt. If it became that chocolate where it's like it's not even chocolate anymore. It's just like stuck to the sides, and it's no longer the texture that I need it to be. The other day, my husband and I we went to Subway, and naturally we got several cookies. Obviously, some of the

cookies were mine, some of the cookies were his. I was wrangling our baby, and while I was doing that, I witnessed him start to eat one of my cookies, and I was it by mistake, No, okay, he was being sneaky. I snapped where cookies go. And there's nothing more more shameful shameful about snapping about somebody eating your treat. Yeah, yeah, but I was so upset. I don't ruin that for me.

Get almost I've been sitting on the couch and he's said he's almost gone over to get like some of my brownie or whatever, and it's like, have a really violent instinct to like flip his hand away, and then I I'm really sorry. I don't know what came over me. Was like, don't touch it, don't take my foot anyway. Fat Monica is characterized as a previous version of Monica, who exclusively ate sloppily wiping chocolate from her face or

licking powdered sugar from her fingers. Again, these are two things that are critical if you don't want to waste chocolate or cinnamon, for example, no judgment. So in the alternate plot line where Monica didn't lose weight, she also remains a virgin, probably because it's caughtney cocks and a fat suit and suitors couldn't find her vagina hole. Yeah. Yeah, people probably want to have sex with her. Yeah, but they were like, where's is it? Yeah, where's the z

it mate? And she's like, I don't know, but I'm wearing an entire suit simply to give the impression that I have breasts. Kelsey Miller, writing an op ed for Vox, said, fat Monica isn't even a person. She's not Monica Fat. She's a cartoon character with a weird, screamy voice and a totally different personality. Yes, if you can call an affinity for mayonnaise and KitKat a personality, I hope you

can see that's mine. Yeah. Her entire life is eating and pining and occasionally dancing to disco music with doughnuts in her hands. For no reason she's a clown. There's a scene where she can't get up off the bean bag, allegedly due to her weight, and respectfully, show me a person who can get up off a bean bag. Yeah, no, it's really tricky. There's also a memorable line from Joey when they're watching a video of Monica in her prom dress eating a sandwich, and he yells, I'm girling, Monica.

her as thin, but joke's on him. She's fat. And can you love someone when they're fat? A man? Yes? Because black black? Yeah? Yeah. Chandler a reappraisal of Friends thirty years on has a lot of people saying fuck Chandler. Okay, but Matthew Perry rip, I should stayed on the record. Matthew Perry and Chandler are not the same person. No, no. Matthew Perry famously said he didn't recall shooting like three seasons. Yeah. Yeah.

There was an article published in Slay titled Chandler bing is the worst thing about Watching Friends in twenty fifteen. The writer Ruth Graham argues that he is endlessly paranoid about being perceived as gay. I went back and watched a whole lot of scenes, and I was like, very astute observation. This man is homophobic in the sense of like a pathology really like not in the sense of talking about something broadly being homophobic, but he is so

anxious about being seen as gay. Like what I can't remember. Like there's a scene where Joey has a handbag. He walks in with a handbag. Chandler just has like this visceral reaction of like you're gay, and like he just really doesn't like it. And then he's like metal like it I'm after my audition. How do I ever, Ah, I think you'll a great Joey.

more accurate. Yes, he is terrified of gayness, which I think is also a lot of characters again in the nineties. It is also interesting that this was a show set in New York in the nineties with very little queer representation. I can think of one example, which we may get too. There was a very big population of gay I know, but it was pre same sex marriage. Like it was a totally different world. And in fact, I don't think I get into this here, but they had a gay wedding.

So two women marry right, oh yeah, and just did a lot of Yes, went a long way towards degrading that. Yes, but two states in the US wouldn't broadcast it, like they wouldn't put it on television, and they couldn't have them kiss because they were worried they would get so many complaints. Like that is what the nineties were anyway. Other things about Channeler who chooses a roommate because their sister is a porn star. He dates this Janis character

who he openly hates. Oh god, I don't think Channela likes men or women. No, I remember Janis. Can you believe this happened? No?

Let's discuss the whole Chandler's dad is a drag queen thing. So Chandler's dad is named Charles Bing and Charles has a drag queen persona named Helena. But Charles is played by Kathleen Turner, who is a woman. So a woman plays a man pretending to be a woman. Do you see. It's a lot of mental gymnastics. In the episode, the one with Chandler and Monica's wedding, Part one, Chandler's mum asks Charles, don't you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that? If you're wondering

how sensitively friends handled this story? Okay, Okay, The thing is what's weird is that I repeat, the role was played by Kathleen and not that this should matter, but she literally didn't have a penis. That is very very good. It just makes the line very confusing, And there's a lot of criticism online being like, misgendered pronouns are wrong, and I'm like, it's like whind back, wind back, Like yes, but if you wind back, there's actually gene logic floor. Yeah,

Chandler is just ashamed of his dad, who everyone frequently misgenders. Again, I don't know because it's Kathleen Turner, who's meant to be a met I don't know, And are you a drag queen? I think because adding different to identifying as Trian. The problem is the writers are confused. Yeah, the riders got a little bit muddied, and then the show got made and they were like, hmm, Charles is just the butt of a very elaborate joke. He performs a drag

show in Vegas called Viva la Gagas. If you're wondering how three dimensional and fully formed this character is, I will repeat Viva la Gegas. It's like Viva la Vegas. Yes, but they've replaced with Turner. The actor has said her character didn't age well and she wouldn't do it today.

Oh good good. On the other hand, Miller, who wrote the book about Friends and the op ed I talked about earlier, she said that Charles was pretty much the only trans character who was not a murder victim on Law and Order, and it's been argued to even try to include an LGBT character was pretty transgressive in the early two thousands. Even if they performed a show called Claire, what's it called Viva Vegas? No Beava la Gega, Viva

la gega with sex stuff. You know how you look back on these shows and they're weirdly sexual despite being positioned as very like PG. Yeah, And the thing is, we were kids, slush teenagers when it was airing, and I remember, like everyone loved Friends, So I remember kind of locking myself in NaN's granny flat, oh wow for pretty much a whole school holidays and watching every episode of Friends and just feeling so cool. But the accident

to which all of it went over my head. You look back at the Simpsons like you were naughtier than I thought, and this was it was a bit naughty. There's one episode where Ross comes on to his cousin. His cousin, Cassie, is played by Denise Richard. I was gonna say, his cousin's really hot, and she comes to stay with him and Monica during a visit to New York, and Chandler keeps staring at her and making her feel

uncomfortable because channel's creepy. So Ross is like, it's okay, I'm safe, and they end up sitting on the couch watching a movie, at which point he leans over and tries to kiss her. Then he can't think of anything to say, so eventually exclaims, I haven't had sex in a very long time. Oh, I know that book true, get it? I want it, she wants it. I'm going in, What the hell are you doing? Say something clever?

bucks his cousin. I don't know. There's also a storyline where Monica and Ross, who just remind you are siblings, realize they hooked up. Okay, okay. This was also a big theme in the nineties. Remember our seventh Heaven episode and we talked about I think it's one of the first scenes where it's Mary and Matt are practicing kissing on each other, and the Reverend comes out and he's like, guys, and they're like really embarrassed. Okay, close and oh this

is what that looks like. But it seems like the Reverend has more of an issue with it being kissing rather than the fact that these are fucking siblings. Yeah, and so I do think you're right. I was the theme in the ninety yes that it's like, okay, was it trying to normalize No? No, No, I think it was this only hot people can be on television slash hot, charismatic people like Jessica Bill for example. But then it's like whoa, whoa wa whoa, But what if Jessica Bil

was your sister, wouldn't you still want kiss her? And so that's where it got confused. So that's what happened, I think, because Monica's yeah, they hook up. Yeah. So it's like, guys, they're straight, they look similar, they live in the same city. They booked up. No, and apparently they were drunk and Ross thought it was Rachel and they both freak out, but they hooked up. Speaking of weird, remember when Brad Pitt was a guest stuff. Yes, okay,

the question is this was he married to Jennifer. Yes, he was, I thought so. He was in the episode called the One with the Rumor, and he plays Will, who's an old high school friend who founded that I Hate Rachel club with Ross Right. The punchline to that whole episode is that Will started a rumor that Rachel was intersex and her parents had to flip a coin to decide if she was a boy or a girl.

Oh my god, how specific. Yeah and odd. The Intersex Society of North America was very offended, and years later the co creator Marta Kaufman said she regrets the joke and wouldn't do it again today. Yeah, she said that a few times. I think maybe if you went through every line of dialogue with a fine toothcomb, she'd be saying that every day for the rest of her life.

What's interesting, and this is just plays into my theory that Brad Pitt teflon if that was anyone else going back, going why did you say yes yeah to that character? But it was a different time. But also Brad Pitt apparently can do not right and he's like, but just look at my face, and everyone's like, true, I was distracted, Like I didn't really remember what he did. I just remember everyone clapping when he was on because she was

so beautiful. Glow you glow. It's being really discriminatory broadly. There's a lot of womanizing. The men are always like, oh yeah, look at that one. And there's one storyline that I think actually just sums up the whole show. If you want to know the vibe of friends without having seen without having seen it, here's a plot point that just touches on every theme. Joey and Chandler take Ross's baby on the bus. Okay, because Ross has one baby and then he later has another baby with Rachel.

Ross has a conniption because his baby Ben plays with barbies. And there's another episode where his daughter Emma is getting a nanny and it's a man and he has what can only be described as aneurism, right, so this is all he's like, what kind of man wants to look after a chart? Exactly like? And this is why Anyway, this episode, Joey and Chandler have Ross's baby on the bus, but there are three pretty ladies on the bus, so

they get distracted and leave the baby on the bus. Ah. Men, But here's a punchline, you know, how it's got to do like the yeah, this is important. It's all for nothing because the pretty ladies think that they're gay because they're two men with a baby. And what's Chandeler's sphere being perceived? Okay, oh wow, that's it. Classic, classic, classic.

It's like, yeah, you can imagine them in the writer's room being like, okay, okay, Chandeler storyline, but how do we It's like maybe they've got each character and like their fatal flaw and their biggest fear, and for him it is being ever perceived as gay? Yea, yeah, yeah, greatest fear deleted. And then Monica's greatest fear is going back to fat Monica. Yeah, because everyone calls her fat

Monica and like reminds her deleted episode. There was an episode set to air in October two thousand and one, was all filmed ready to go. Ooh interesting timing. And then in September two thousand and one, a few weeks before New York experienced the deadliest terrorist attack in US history. And let me explain to you the episode they had ready to go. I have never heard this story. Monica

and Chandler are newly married. He's married, so can't be gay. Yeah, and they're checking in at the airport, Claire, you're in a writer's room. Chandler needs a funny little one liner. He needs a complication at the airport. What does Chandler say, Oh no, no, no, no, no no no. Does he do a terrorist? He makes a joke about bombs on in front of a sign that says no joking about bombs or hijacking. Hey, look at that federal lot prohibits any joking regarding aircraft, hijacking or bombing.

they changed it. They like took this bit out they dine no, no, no, they took this out and they were probably like, oh, Chandlin needs a funny one liner. And as he walks through, they find that he's got like perfume in his bag and he shouts like, I'm not good. That's probably what they did. Oh okay, because yes's the same. Yeah, they're like ah ah, quick scram what's his biggest fit and being the saved as gay. A note on the takedown of Friends. So last week

Friends turned thirty. Every time there's an anniversary, people reappraise the show. They reflect on how it's dated, which is fine, but some of the criticism is weird. I read this whole article about out how Friends is the most problematic show ever and I was like, fine, yes, go on, give me some evidence. Yes, And it's like I'm willing to be convinced. Oh, absolutely, But the writer is annoyed.

They're always at the coffee house because as someone in her twenties, she doesn't really have time to hang out with her friends that much. And she's like, oh, are they really that extroverted? And it's like, you don't have to go to Central Perk, No, you don't have to go to a coffee house. They're allowed to go to a coffee house. Also, it's a TV show, which is something actually really important to remind people when you're talking about movies and TV shows. Is and this is quite profound.

It's not real. It's not real. It's not not a documentary. No, you don't have to go to coffee. Yeah, you don't. You don't have to go to the cafe with your six friends. If you only have say five friends, that's okay, that's fine. Maybe you only have two friends, okay, maybe you have any friends. This isn't a statement on you

and your friendship group. Also, going on a break has apparently been misconstrued thanks to Friends, because in Friends, Ross cheated on Rachel while on a break, and this person writing this article, she's losing it. She's saying, people today think that a break means you can get back with someone with our consequences, and I have here in my notes, honey, who hurt you? What happened with you and a break?

She's really upset that it normalized a break in a relationship where Ross could go and cheat and have no conselquation. But like, wasn't the point of that storyline all I remember is ross. The only word that comes to mind is shrieking. We were on a break. We were on a break. We were on the break. Yeah, it wasn't it that he was actually being held accountable for what he did? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, And this is an issue

I have. I'll come to it. The writer goes on, it's like getting a rebound while being able to get back with that person. That is not how the real world works. Yet people continue to do this because it's a normal thing. As I said today, is dancing to okay, okay,

we're not in a good place. So someone told you that you're on a break and they cheat it, and now that has a baby and they've been married for a long time, and you're upset and friends triggered you, and no one will go get a coffee with you, not the central pair. The other thing is I get it, and I do this as well. You look at a TV show and you poke holes in all these things that aren't realistic, and it's like, Jesse, we've written a

couple of episodes of television. There are certain things that need to happen because, as aforementioned, it's a TV show, not real life, and so The idea of the coffee shop is it is simply a cheap set that we can have the characters appear in over and over and over again. So it's not saying that is how you should live your own life. It is simply part of

this TV show, which I will reiterate. Another criticism is that Joey popularized the term friend zone that was written into an episode of Friends waited too long to make you move and now you're in the friend zone. No, no, no, I'm not in the zone. Russ. You're mayor of the zone. How is that a problem? And it's like, yeah, okay, he popularized the term, but that is not where you don't have a boyfriend. Every time she went on these tangents in this article, I just kept thinking, are we

still talking about friends? It seems as though you grabbed a point from Friends and then got quite upset about something specific to her. You've become carried away. A lot of criticism will be like it was rude when Ross said this, or Ross could be possessive, and it's like that's just his character. Yeah, it's his character, and it's also part of the plot, Like characters are meant to be imperfect and her flaws. That's what drives story. Yeah.

People are like, Joey's quite dumb, and I'm like, yeah, that's characteris and that's also the joke. And if characters were fully functioning, thriving, quite perfect human beings, they would be so boring. I just kept thinking every time I read these, and they just went more and more granular.

I kept thinking, you've been watching too much Friends, You've gone back, you've watched it from the start, And I mean, I know we probably said it on this show before, but a great term for this is an achronism, and it's the idea that we are looking at the past from the perspective of the present. We are imposing the values of the present on the past, which is something the Internet does all the time, and we often do hear in the cancel courtroom, but at least we are

self aware. Okay, the laugh track or Claire, have you watched those clips of Friends where they remove the laugh track? Yes? I believe I have, and it really does point out how flat a lot of the dialogue is. Okay, I am gonna play you some ross. Okay, who has become my hyper fixation? Just a quick thing? When I watched Friends h potentially until right now, I think I thought there was a studio audience laughing. I think there was, so it wasn't a laugh track. Is a laugh track

the same as a studio audience? Goodness? I don't know. I thought that it was in front of a studio because it would be nice if we had a studio audience. I know, Yes, it was filmed in front of a real audience. Okay, so does that count as a laugh track? No, I guess not. But definitely there was someone standing at the front of the sign that said laugh. If you've ever gone and watched a television show be recorded, that's what they do. They really make you laugh, like they

tell you into life ons and it's embarrassing. Since your son, yeah, his name is Riss Well nothing has just said it's close to Ryan, does he does? Little rasslake fanousaurus.

who's not been sleeping. I think they should remake Friends as Insomnia Cafe, and it is simply Friends without the laugh. So there's another trend on YouTube that I went really deep in, which is Friends laugh track removed, but over the top they've just got screaming. So every time there's a joke, ah, and it's it's very insomnia Cafe. It's a fabulous, quite scary. Before we do charlegan sentences, can we just have a short moment to reminisce on like

our favorite moments from Friends. Okay, okay, So one storyline I really liked was when Monica and Chandler went on a holiday and they met a couple that became their friends. I think that that holiday. The thing that started it

was the interrogation with the bomb joke. I think that's okay, and her hair went really frizzy in the humidity, and that's relatable a representation for women who goes frizzy in heat, and they made these couple friends, and when they came back, they were really smug about their couple friends, and all the other friends were stupid friends. And then they got

ghosted by the couple friends. I forgot about that. I really enjoyed that because I think what it really pointed to was the fact that when you have a friend group and you make new friends, you are mocked. Yeah, well said, well said I think. And there is a smugness to having a couple friends. It makes you feel like a grown up. Yeah. And when you've gone on holiday and you do think it's more than it is, yeah, and you're like, my life has changed from the relationships

I've built. And you get home and you go, we don't have that much in common. No, In fact, they live elsewhere. Yeah. Another criticism that a lot of people offered when it came to Friends was that they had housing, Like they had an apartment, which is apparently very privileged, and like, I do understand that housing is expensive, but friends without a room is like a very different it's a very very insomnia cafe. It's a very different kind

of show. Yeah, they didn't each have their own apartment. No, they were sharing. Yeah, sometimes there were other roommates. Some of them were employed some of the time. Yeah, Yeah, there was a little bit of dramatic logic to that. And again it was the nineties, not cost of living now exactly. I think that if you're getting upset because Monica did own an apartment, then again, what we've probably got to do is take a break. Want to take

a break, turn off Friends? Yea right to your local member, because yeah, housing is too expensive, but that's a now issue. That's a now issue. Yeah, time for charges and sentences. My charge is Ross makes me feel weird, is the first thing I think a lot, maybe too much about when he got a spray twn Yeah, same same. I don't trust him. I think he's very possessive, he's very jealous,

and he's quite controlling. But on the other things, as we've acknowledged, Friends is very much a product of its time, weirdly obsessed with sexuality, fat Monka not ideal, and Ross should never have tried to kiss his cousin. Absolutely not. If it were made today, it'll be done differently. My charge concerns the real estate that these six patrons have over Central perk. Oh wow, great point they are and this is this is a legal word hogging the Yes,

they are pests. They never order food. They all they get is that bloody what do they call it in America? Like the drink coffee and it's worth jackshit, it's like a dollar and it's free refills. Exactly. I can't even go to a cafe anymore. Well, if we're applying the values of the present to the past, well, I go into a cafe, I have to order. Oh they tell me to leave with my laptop. Yeah, they don't. And

you get a little bit judged. You do. You can't just sit there on the same they're not your couches. And often they're causing a rackus. They are causing a rackus. They're talking about Chandler is having a gay panic in a public place. Yes, And patrons are just trying to go about their business and they're like, why is he

shrieking about people? Thinking he's gag sentence just on Central Perk. Actually, I was thinking this is a cafe on Central Park, Like I'd probably be going to be busy, busy, and there's Two've gotta order food. Yeah, sentence. The tension of This show should have always been between these six friends and Gumper. Ah yeah, Gumpher. I remember Gumph. Now he's not the owner, but he is a I can't even call him a barrista. Make it Martin. What do you

call someone who paused like a waist in coffee? Yeah? Yeah, they needed to come get a takeaway coffee and go about your day. Okay, because what you're doing is you're taking up space, you're blocking it for other people, and you're affecting the income of what could be a very flourishing Central Perk cafe. Yeah yeah, Actually that cafe would

have gone broke from the loitering. So I think it should have been Gumph shoeing the six friends literally, like get out, like standing there with a sign up, going, you've overstayed, You're welcome, get a takeaway if you're going to get anything. But you can't be sitting here taking up all this space without buying food, or stand outside. Go for a bloody war, go for a walk through Central Park. It's right, sing yeah, go back to one of your homes. There's plenty of it. Here's an idea.

Buy a coffee machine. It's an instant coffee mate. I also think there are lines of tension and conflict that we need to pick up oh, that were unresolved, that were unresolved. For example, Ross is a shit dad to Ben. I don't know where Ben went, but he was never introduced to Emma. Ross is second born, which makes me think if there was like a redo, what I would want is cold open Ben sitting in a therapist's office close up of his face. Ben talked to me, well,

i'll tell you what. Ben's got some daddy issues. Yeah, yeah, Ben's pissed and he starts describing Ross and the psychologist is like, is your dad in prison? And He's like, no, but he should be. What else do you think that it could pick up on? Well, just because that actor was Cole Sprouse, it was one of the Sprouse's tenctually, both those little twins who then went on to be in other shows the Big Daddy correct, oh my god,

same little kids. And it does yeah, and I'm thinking, like potentially break the forth wall, like some meta stuff maybe like the kid is Cole Sprouse, Like he has become famous and he was a twin, which just whoa you know? Like Ross is like I didn't know you guys were twins. I thought I had one kid. I wonder if Little Emma was also twin. But in terms of where it went for everyone, I think Chandler and

Monica didn't last. No. I think they went on to have midlife crises that just set them in different directions. I think Chandler needed to do some soul searching. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I completely agree, and Monica needed therapy about the whole family. The shaming. The shaming Ross and Rachel obviously didn't last because that was just toxics and Ross needs to just be on his own forever. I think things for fine for Joey. Yeah. How about Phoebe. Oh, I think Phoebe

was thriving. I think she's had a happy, go lucky approach to life. She was a twin in the show, remember Oh Forgot? Yeah yeah, did I twin die? Yeah? She had quite a sad backstory. Yeah, not a lot of depth to Phoebe. No, I think it would be very therapised and very into trauma. Yeah. Things that were

punchlines would now be traumas. Claire, what's your charge? So I do have a bit of an issue with us going back looking at something from twenty years ago and just tearing it apart because of what we know now. It makes it very difficult to make art if you are thinking, oh, well, it has to stand for all of time and there can't be any contextual clues here because people will tear it apart. Yeah, okay. With that said, I also think it's important to look at something like

friends and acknowledge it almost as a historical artifact. Yes, let's acknowledge it like one of Ross's fossils. Yes, very that it can be a sign of how far we have come as a culture. Yes, maybe sometimes how far we have not come. I've always thought I remember saying this in ancient history and it was so so clever. I was like, okay, so you know how with fossils, for example, we dig up somewhere and you find fossils. And I was like, newsplash, why aren't we burying shit? Yeah?

So like, why aren't I handwriting some notes about the world right now and burying them? And I said that in class and the teacher she turned to the class she said, does anyone have a response for clerk? I think she was thinking, this girl has issues and they're very A girl put her hand up and said we don't need to do that. We have the Internet, right, And I was like, well, the Internet can't be buried, and what if it breaks? It's very very because what if aliens come? So what you think we need a

time capsule? Yeah? So what we need are these historical artifacts that we physically bury in the ground, Yes, to be after the next Ice age when people look back and they try and understand what humans where. You want the HS versions BHS. But then obviously you also need to tape machine obviously. Yeah, and a television because the Internet is just going to be white. It's going to be turned off and all of this analysis, Yeah, Kirsty

is going to be gone. Yeah, you gotta bury that shit in the dirt, and the person who watches it is going to go, wow, everyone was white, Yeah, everyone was white. This man was suffering from what can only be termed gay panic. Ross was a predator, et cetera. So I think we need to bury friends and with it bury a one thousand page dissection everything of everything wrong. Right, So, and that will be such an interesting reflection of twenty

twenty four versus the nineties and early two thousands. It's like, this is where we are as a culture is that things are quite scary right now. Yeah, from a like climate change, global colis, things are pretty awful. So what we choose to do with our time instead of writing to our local member is we watch Friends and we get mad that they had actional characters. So we need to have a one thousand page dissertation. Yeah, analyzing it, And I just think that that will be such an

important time capsule for the aliens. If you had to bury something in your time capsule, like, what would you bury? Honestly? Yeah, honestly, yeah, a coke zero in a fridge. I think you're just fir no, But I just think the aliens would appreciate it. They'd be like, these people knew out of it. What would you bury? Either a paper straw or like a metal Oh, I don't know. I think it's like the world's over. Plastic straws are bound. You know, it tastes

better with a plastic straw. I can't access them, I don't use them, but it does. Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of Canceled. Claire, do you have a lazy girls story? Before we go? Here's my lazy girl story. Dear Claire and Jesse. So picture this, love it straight into it, No tymee for pleasantries. I'm leaving the gym this morning. Yes, I know, Jim and morning in the same sentence. Who even am? II? Yeah, and I decided to give mm a ring on my

way to work. Very lazy girl moved. Yeah, you can't be alone with your own thoughts. No super productive for self proclaimed lazy girl. Right anyway, midchat, Mum casually asked if I'm planning to have a shower at work. Of course, I responded with math, probably not, don't work that hard, not really sweaty. I'll just do a quick wet white situation and top up cety over and yet love And guess what. Mum was totally on board with this, and then she drops this absolute gem. Apparently my granny Joe

had a term for this, and it's called dirty flash. Yep, you heard that right, dirty flash. I burst out laughing and asked Mum what on earth that meant. She explained that it's when you're technically dirty but you still look flash. You know, like when you get home after a long day, slap on some nice clothes and head out like you've

got it all together a true lazy girl move. That feeling of getting home from work and you're physically sticky, your makeup's all in your lines, right, and you get home and you're like, I'm going to go out, like I'm going to go to dinner, and what I'm going to do is put more makeup. I'm going to cake it on, because you guys, sometimes I look at my face and I go, this needs a wash off. Yeah, and a region a skin care moment. Do you ever look at your makeup and you go, oh, my eyeliner

or my mascara has smaged. What I will do is cover it with laugh Yeah, yeah, okay, cake on more makeup, yeah, to fix it. That is a lazy girl move. You just put on more. And that's the thing with sweat. I don't know. I'm not totally convinced sweats dirty. No. And you know what you keep seeing these things about, oh, in the Western world, shower too much? Lazy girls love that it makes us sick. We share that on Instagram. How does it make us sick? That's the question. But

I'm actually all for that. I think sweat just reabsorbs. Yeah, great, you get wet and then it just kind of goes all back in. Yeah, I think it's good for the skin to me too, So that is new to the lazy girl vernacular. Dirty Flash Branny Joe, Granny Joe, our favorite canceled this much. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Canceled. The producer of Canceled is Kim Bradish with audio production by Leah Porges. And we'll be back next week. Bye bye,