If every time you climaxed someone relate to you magically appeared in your room, would you still masturbate? Let's talk about that, robot cars losing their goddamn minds, Joe getting a comb flapped against his forehead while getting a haircut, a badass little kid saving his family during a tornado storm, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is...
Aug 21, 2024•1 hr 16 min
How much do you love fruit? What if fruit could talk and tell you cool little secrets? Would you spend the next year of your life listening to random fruit in hopes that you get some life changing secrets? Let's talk about that, vibrating to the winner's circle, using geometry that involves your dong to win the Olympics, smoking a cigarette while sucking gas out of a muffin mobile, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content...
Aug 14, 2024•1 hr 28 min
If you came across a dead body that was recently struck by a train... and the leg was now free-range... would you take a bite of it? Let's talk about that, a new children's show that we should probably start making, trying to pet a cat that's always on fire, sucking seeds out of the butt, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way ...
Aug 07, 2024•1 hr 20 min
We all gotta go someday... but if you were able to choose how you die I highly doubt it would involve chickens pecking food out of your mouth. Let's talk about that, going a little crazy over a bird trying to eat your daughter's French fries, getting a used diaper off Amazon, Bryan again bragging about how good he would be at sucking dong, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?...
Jul 31, 2024•1 hr 20 min
There's nothing quite like taking the family out to dinner and the booth next to you is funneling margaritas into their assholes. Let's talk about that, trying to fly a kite at midnight in perfectly calm conditions, what the heck is with Montana and all their casino combo businesses, needing tokens from the government to watch porn, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our P...
Jul 24, 2024•1 hr 32 min
Bryan wants to give Joe a rimjob. Joe definitely didn't write this episode description. Bryan can't read. Let's talk about that, splashing piss all over your girlfriend, getting so mad during online gaming that you pack a hammer and actually do something about it, Joe completely screwing up a jump off a bridge, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! T...
Jul 17, 2024•1 hr 18 min
Can you imagine running out to warn others of an incoming storm... and then getting struck by lightning?! Let's talk about that, getting way too angry at youth sporting events, your coworker insisting on tickling you everyday, squirting an interesting concoction on women in order to talk to them, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the bigg...
Jul 10, 2024•1 hr 24 min
Would you like to round-up to 9 butters today? Don't worry... if that made sense to you before hearing today's episode, that would be extra concerning. Let's talk about that, licking random stranger's hands before every handshake, the ugliest goat you will ever see, dropping your phone while trying to put on a new screen protecter, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Pa...
Jul 03, 2024•1 hr 5 min
What's the most amount of money you have ever blown on a carnival game? Could you imagine that number being YOUR ENTIRE LIFE SAVINGS?! Let's talk about that, super neat facts about sex, an edible drone blowing your cover during war, having huge eyeballs the older you get, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support t...
Jun 26, 2024•1 hr 40 min
Have you ever hired someone to do some work around the house and it appears they cut every corner possible along the way? Let's talk about that, AirBnb renters literally taking your house from you, using lasers to scare off 12,000 geese, your windshield disappearing while you're driving down the freeway, and more on today's episode of Can you Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is ...
Jun 19, 2024•1 hr 24 min
Wowowowowowowowow! Come have some fun with us as we celebrate the two year anniversary of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast *** New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PST Watch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/rbbeoZDJCqc Send in segment content: heyguys@canyoudontpo...
Jun 12, 2024•1 hr 50 min
No matter how old or wise we get, we are never safe from doing some idiotic shit. Let's talk about that, accidentally giving a millionaire a dollar thinking he was homeless, finding a gun while working at PetSmart, pissing off the HOA by painting a picture of your boat on your fence, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you c...
Jun 05, 2024•1 hr 26 min
What would your response be if you caught some random dude fingering your car on your security camera? Let's talk about that, farting your pencil across the room, a wallet that runs away when you are spending too much money, Flavor Flav becoming the spokesperson for women's water polo, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you...
May 29, 2024•1 hr 46 min
Joe's family was hit with some heartbreaking news this week... *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast *** New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PST Watch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/HH8dYLYwSgc Send in segment content: heyguys@canyoudontpodcast.com Merch: http://canyoudontpodcast.c...
May 22, 2024•1 hr 38 min
WHAAAAAAAAAT?! 100 Episodes is an amazing milestone and we couldn't have done it without your support! As you would probably expect, this episode gets a little wild and completely off the rails. BUT, we had a blast taking a stroll down memory lane and for almost no reason at all decided to dress up in western wear. It's ok. No one cares. Huge and tugs!!! Here's to 100 more! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreo...
May 15, 2024•2 hr 27 min
Have you ever been proper bird watching? Are you currently a bird watcher? Did you know that it's officially called birding? Did you also know you can piss the entire birding community off by accidentally capturing a rare bird when you were actually just trying to photograph a waterfall in Oregon? Let's talk about that, sexually biting your lip at the end of every conversation, tucking your kid's into bed while wearing a bee keeper suit, finding a lost song while watching an old-school porn vide...
May 08, 2024•1 hr 23 min
There's a lot of situations one wouldn't want to be in when an earthquake randomly hits... but being in the middle of getting a vasectomy seems pretty high up that list. Let's talk about that, listening to people orgasm for science, low qualifications for being put in charge of potentially saving people's lives, lying about being pregnant in order to save a relationship, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end...
May 01, 2024•1 hr 23 min
What did the guy who got his dong chopped off by his wife get for his birthday?! He was given an appointment to get all his toes chopped off too! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! Let's talk about that, blowing your load in a birdhouse per your partner's request, passing out while washing your pants in the sink, Joe going on a HOT AIR BALLOON RIDE, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Ou...
Apr 24, 2024•1 hr 33 min
Bryan pooped in his bed. I know you are all extremely shocked to hear this news. Let's talk about that, almost breaking into the wrong house, grinding up and smoking human bones in order to get high, bringing a hat pom pom to the vet because you thought it was a dying animal, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can suppo...
Apr 17, 2024•1 hr 30 min
Imagine two rival gangs facing off in an alley. The hatred they have for each other has been stewing for a little over 35 years and FINALLY... it's time to settle the score. Now, imagine that all the gang members are riding unicycles. Let's talk about that, whether or not flipping a coin is truly 50/50 odds, getting terrorized by random cows for over two years, what the heck is wrong with Bryan's left eye, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and acc...
Apr 10, 2024•1 hr 33 min
Imagine bringing a newborn baby to a rave... and then getting upset when everyone else around you wasn't super supportive about you bringing a f*&$ING newborn baby to a rave. Let's talk about that, weird ass things you never knew about the human body, actually owing money after trying to get money for amputating your own legs, getting addicted to solving Rubik's Cubes, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the e...
Apr 03, 2024•1 hr 36 min
Pro Tip: If the success of your murder plot pivots on having a large python eat one of your intended targets, you should probably rethink your entire murder plot. Let's talk about that, decking a mascot while on acid at a basketball game, happily filming content for your mom's OnlyFan's account, ordering a hot air balloon ride using Uber, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?!...
Mar 27, 2024•1 hr 30 min
Imagine being trapped in a warehouse with a bunch of murderous Stephen Hawkings going 15 mph. The sound of their evil laugh alone is enough to strike fear into the hearts of any man. Let's talk about that, police trying to interrogate a pigeon accused of spying, getting stabbed with a bundle of pens by stranger on an airplane, sledding dead bodies down the stairs, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of eac...
Mar 20, 2024•1 hr 25 min
Have you ever been just driving down the road and decided to throw an entire bag of fast food trash out the window? WHO DOES THAT?! Let's talk about that, incriminating yourself with oddly specific google searches, where the hell St. Patrick's Day came from, bowling with your literal balls out, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the bigges...
Mar 13, 2024•1 hr 43 min
If you were sitting on a nearly million dollar insurance payout, would you venture out to your town's annual Christmas tree throwing contest in order to defend your title and risk getting publicly seen throwing a Goddamn Christmas tree? Let's talk about that, sucking spaghetti through a straw, one of the wildest renditions of a hotdog ever concocted, getting elbowed in the ribs by a kid on an airplane, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access ...
Mar 06, 2024•1 hr 28 min
Have you ever been so drunk that your friends ditch you at home so you decide to sit in the shower and end up flooding the entire house where 18 people are also staying? Let's talk about that, eating all your clothes, banging your husband's twin brother on the side for years, how many escalators are in the entire state of Wyoming, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Pat...
Feb 28, 2024•1 hr 25 min
Have you ever been forced to pay for a service you never intended to get in the first place? Was that service giant balloon hats for you and your entire family? Let's talk about that, getting compacted in a garbage truck four times, being saved from your sinking car by a floating sauna, shoving your entire arm up a cow's ass and using it as a puppet to talk about communism, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the ...
Feb 21, 2024•1 hr 32 min
What type of jobs could you realistically have if all your fingers were superglued together on each hand? Parade waver? Ice cream scooper? Dog poop picker-upper? Let's talk about that, parrots laughing at each other's potty mouth, trying to take a refrigerator that's holding your liver onto an airplane, duct tapping random fish to ATMs all over the world, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode...
Feb 14, 2024•1 hr 23 min
Why isn't there a store on the planet where it's socially acceptable to just yell out the item you can't locate? Why must we wondering around until we see an employee in a nicely colored vest? Let's talk about that, chain smoking cigarettes while running a marathon, a disagreement in the family about posting family photos on social media, maybe the greatest/worst song ever written which includes maybe the greatest/worst drum fill ever written, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** W...
Feb 07, 2024•1 hr 33 min
Did you know that we used to have mouse traps that were loaded with gunpowder and would literally blast mice in the face? Let's talk about that, sneaking crazy ass things into people's food just for funzzies, opening a shocker of a gift while on a Tinder date, Joe catching some dude beating off in the casino bathroom, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is ...
Jan 31, 2024•1 hr 27 min
