Episode 86: Tampons & Moldy Coffee Creamer

big CBS or Target, but mine's always It's like. I also bring my own lotion because I don't find the lotion in hotels hydrating. There's a couple of hotels I find it to be very hydrating. But I also don't want to smell like my coworkers. I like to have my own smell. Oh my gosh, you're so prepared. Anyway, So I went and checked into this hotel. I asked for the toothpaste. They only had one. I am squeezing

one drop of the toothpaste out of there. Then I gotta go wake up extra early in the morning, go to CVS by the toothpaste, and I gotta throw the toothpaste away. Because it's over the three ounces. I'm still not t s a pre check as we know, we'll get to that later. And it's a conundrum. Yeah, or you could just postmates toothpaste to your what place? You could postmates toothpaste to your hotel room. I've never done that in my life. You don't need like a quick

tampon on the road or something. By the way, did you hear about this? The shortage? And even I don't get my period anyway, I know you know you don't. Well, there's a shortage. I was having a long conversation. Why is there a short God? Well, I don't know it. I don't want to get into it. I have no idea. There's a shortage. I don't know. If it's political, I don't want to touch it. I don't know. But what I don't want to shortage on that. So today I'm

a hoarder. I'm not gonna lie. I went to the aisle. I'm a little concerned. It's not that time a month for me, but I did go to get a box because I'm a little worried. So I went. There is clearly not refills happening on that aisle, which that is just so it is cruel if this happens, like, give me a break, get our lives together, what are we doing? Ship? Enough is enough? Plus also the baby formula than YadA YadA, YadA,

I've got I'm a hoarder. I got a basket full of a couple of boxes and I was trying to make a quick exit at a target. And as I was doing it, this guy's like, hey, are you Aaron Andrews? And I'm like, I'm Aaron Andrews. I have three boxes and tampons. But because I'm a hoarder, if there was every time you don't want to be recognized, it's with the tampons. Have you ever made a boyfriend in the

past by tampons? No? I haven't either, But I just wonder, like the guy, Yeah, but that's a confident man that's like, hey, I'm gonna take the two boxes of super from my gall at home. Would do it. He would oreos and throw it in there. This guy today, he's having a bowl of Lucky Charms. I mean, I'm like, baby, do you want to look how many calories are in it? I look at it, it's like a hundred ninety goes. Well, how much is in your multigrain like cereal? Mine had

two d in't it? And he goes, well, I'm not going to eat the marshmallows. So he's picking through it because he goes, it's too sugary, and I want mine to be less in calories. In you what forty year old man is eating lucky charms? Gross Scott Thompson. Scott Thompson loves some lucky charms and I'm not mad at that, and I think it's adorable that he buys it. The calorie things very interesting. An entire bag of halapino chips the other day. It was two calories, and I was like,

I'm disgusting, but it didn't feel like that much. I was like, to eighty for this entire bag. This seems great. I have a freaking perfect bar in the morning and that things three. The difference is that sodium. You go straight to the six milligrams of sodium and I wake up in the morning. Why do I not have rings on? Well, for a lot of reasons, but because my hands are swollen,

you know what I mean. Yeah, I'm going to be better about it, but I'm just so bad because I either go one way or the other we were talking Ryan just d md us in our little chat here about expiration date. We talked about that a couple of pre games ago. We my husband loves to freeze everything and even if it's has the expiration date, it's like, man, we gotta get read of this. Um, do you have a question about expiration Well, sir, so, I I'm really bad.

I mean, I live by myself, so I'm not grocery shopping. So it's one of those things. And I also don't I know myself. We also talked about this a few free games ago or on one of our podcasts. I fluctuate weight all the time. I mean, just ask the Internet. I am large and in Shorge I used to say big ten Carissa. I mean I could have been an offensive lineman with josh on Kin, you know what I mean. So I get that if it's in my house, I'm

probably gonna eat it. So I don't want to have crap in my house that I know I'm gonna eat. You know. So I make coffee the other day and I go to for the cream and and I'm not I'm not looking at the cream coming out of the creamer. You heard no, no, but I wish I did, so I pour it in there. Fine, I'm just like doing something else. I go and take a step and I'm like, oh,

that doesn't what's going on? Aaron King Andrews. I look in the creamer and you know, when you can see and from where the hole is into the side, there is mold all around the inside perimeter of this creamer. I did you, Barth. I wanted to, and I almost made myself throw up, but I was like, no, I can't. That's so hard to do. But I was like, this is so disgusting. Mold just laden around the interior of this thing. I don't know how long it had been

in there. I looked at the expiration date long overdue, okay. And there's times where I questioned, like, hey, is a couple of days too many? Maybe this is months. I lost five pounds. I felt great, but no, I mean it was not the way that I wanted. Did your stomach get upset very upset? Immediately? No, not immediately, but pretty close after. I'm not kidding. This isn't like a little mold on a strawberry that you don't see. We're

talking like compounded against there. I've I actually have never had that to me, and I was so gre I actually thought I'd get like really really sick from it. And I just like h king, yeah, so that wasn't probably salmonella. Point, how do you say that Salomon salmonella? No, it was what do you think that poison? That was dairy? So we just molded like it had been in there

for so long. And I was not paying attention because normally I get coffee like when I'm like on the go I don't say on the go cosa, but not at home. And I was trying to be like, oh, there's no reason I can't make it at home, not paying attention, pouring pouring, sip, sip sip. It doesn't taste right. So everyone, as a Surgeon General's warning, check your expliration date. But what is that date? Is it one week? I mean, my situation was terrible, but is it? I think a

week is a little generous. I mean, I'm even like one or two days, I'm okay, but give it a good smell and maybe a glance inside. You know. Well, from now on, I'm gonna check my list what is the and check it twice? And checking it twice, I thought I was gonna work there. You know, when you get creamer like um, like a coconut creamer or an almond creamer, it lasts longer than like the real Like you're a coconut belt gal. I'm not, I'm I'm I'm yeah,

I'm straight creamer. But you know what, at this point, I might want to change the last thing that was on my list. This has been a long list deleting people. I realized that I am following that current count wait for it on Instagram to one thousand, five hundred and fifty six people. One thousand, five hundred sixty six people. I don't know one thousand, five hundred sixty six people, and I don't know a hundred and fifty six people. What's your number again, one thousand, five hundred sixty six.

I'm at one thousand, two hundred and seventy one. Right. I could definitely eat out if you can, I know. So I started going on there because I was like, this is crazy, because I'm always curious about these people that followed no one or one person, and I'm like, what's coming up in the feet? What algorithm is going on here? Because I feel like I just get the same ten people circulating, So I was like, maybe if we narrow this down, which those ten people are great?

But why I don't know how all the math and algorithm algorithms work. But I just started on following. And then I thought to myself, are you worry about people thinking you're a bit because I just do? Yeah, I do the mute if it's people like that we're going to run into and I don't really need it anymore. I just mute. Interesting, Yeah, you're not willing to do the full unfollow Huh? I feel bad? I know, well this is the conundrum. So I was like, do I

feel bad? And I'm like, you know what, no, because my mom has an expression, not everyone likes you. You don't have to like everyone. And it's not like I don't necessarily like these people. I'm just like, I don't need to follow a thousand, five hundred and sixty six people, do I Then half the I'm like, I don't even know half of these people are did I accidentally hit it? You know? The accident will follow, and then you can't un follow because then they're going to think you're mean.

You're like whoa or the drunk follow when you meet someone at a party and you think they're so great and you're like, oh my god, I really want to stop following this person. But you know that they check. Or there's the people that follow on follow, follow on follow, and it's like, we can see what you're doing. By the way, get a lightly, we know the weekend of coffee. Go become a barristo. My god, I'll give you by apron anyone that's willing to do. You know what, I

got a chip brevet. You know what brevet is? When I worked at Starbucks half and half, it was all the craze when Atkins Diet was there. I would you say brevet Latte. Yeah. I worked in Newport um California, and Atkins Diet was all the rage and a lot of Brevet Latte's rolled through that place. This was before

the computerized mobile thing. So I used to do like a smiley face on people's cups and like I got so excited when I knew people's orders, and then they were so excited I knew their order, and I was like, oh, half a splenda. Sometimes when I was just feeling sassy, I do the whole splendor and I'm like, she's what kind of tips would you get at Starbucks? And good people kind of slide you extra instead of put it in the main thing. How does that go? And how

many phone numbers did you get? WHOA? It's a great questionnaire and these are all great questions. This is why you're great at your job. We had communal tips, so we like group like no one just got one tip, which is very upsetting. And as anyone that's been a server or you know whatever, bartender and you have to share tips, I don't like the share tips. I'm doing a lot of work over here. I'm making a connection, I'm establishing a relationship, offering a lot of service, and

Timmy over here is not doing anything. So now Timmy is gonna get more money because I'm a great server. No, no, I want to do away with the communal tip. You know what else? I want to do away with this gratuity thing in Miami. This is crazy. You're gonna just build in gratuity so you don't have to even try. I don't know what this is. What is this? I swear every time I go to Miami. And it's not just Miami. There's other places that have built in gratuity.

So you gotta check because it's room service, does it. They built in the gratuity. Check you gotta check. They build in the gratuity. And so then you say to yourself like, and I say out loud so they don't think I'm being cheap. Is gratuity included? They're like, yeah, already, we haven't done twenty of the work. And I'm saying, this is a former servey. You gotta try. You gotta earn the gratuity. Now we're just giving it away. You're

not trying, You're not offering great service. And now if I don't do the additional gratuity, now I'm the asshole. So I put a big zero through the additional gratuity because now now we're getting up to I'm gonna go back to waiting tables make more money doing that alone. You know, you know what I'm following. But I'm dying to ask you this question because I am I don't like public restrooms. You know what restroom is? Foul owl is a coffee shop restroom? What's the code? Well, not

only the code, but what does coffee do? It makes you have to go and then like people are doing that there at the coffee restaurant and an incredible observation shop. And I can't imagine working there when you're putting in a five to six eight hour shift and it's like you can't hold it for that long. I mean I hold it for a whole football game, but like I can't imagine trying to hold it. Well, I guess I do. I answer my own questions. I don't want to go

in the football like the officials bathroom. But what what would you do? I'm just gonna say it. Here's where I'm at. You use your under hoar twice a day, you might as well say this, Hey, I don't want to check it back. Okay, I shower a lout. If you go into that bathroom and you gotta do what you gotta do, and then you know there's a line out there. You go in and you know to your you know, and you say to yourself, how am I gonna get out of this? You walk in, do what

you gotta do. I'm working. It is what is always wash your hand, of course, dinge wash your hands. You walk out and you go, WHOA someone before me really did a number? And there you pass it off. You pass off the responsibility and someone else you go. I'm so all right, but like I don't know someone was here before did this. You gotta pass it off and then you wash that hand passing off. But it's just

so dirty. I don't but you know that or or or what's even worse, This happens on airplanes all the time. You know you didn't. I have never hand to God and or whoever you believe in me, never went to the bathroom number two on an airplane. Never say never. Never I know who's done it because then I'm waiting. And now now I'm talking to the flight attendant that's sitting in the jump seat. Now I'm saying, is this are you on the last leg of your trip? Are

you just starting your trip? Is this a three day I know everything about this woman or man by the time this person is out of the bathroom. And now twice I stood here exactly And I don't want any more of those honeygrams or those sea salt chips because I'm already very swollen. Can we switch up? We switch up the snacks? Why always the same snacks? I I want to see the goldfish. I don't want during COVID if I saw one more goddamn bag of cheese. It's I swear to God, I swear to God, or the

snack box I don't want. I don't want the straw stick stick who's using that? We do not have to test anymore to come into the United States, And you know what that means. United You sure ship can get your lemons and your lives back because lemons and lives are not carrying COVID. You better get those lemons and lives. But whenever we're like, we can offer you wine, but no diet coke? What what I can't get a diet coke?

And you're very containous. I mean, this is insane. So bringing it back to the guy or girl that's just taken a long time in there, Okay, I've now applied for the job at Delta. It's been so long. I love jobs. I'll take another. I'd like to keep my dying SATs forever. And I know they walk out and I look at them, like, are you fucking kidding me? Now I gotta walk in, And now I'm looking around and like every time, this wasn't me, this was not

me doing this. And it's small and it's condensed, and it's very hot when you walk in there and you know why, and I do not like it. Now, if you've got to go to the bathroom at Starbucks and you asked for that code, it's very embarrassing when you forgot the code on the way to the bathroom and you're like, what was the code? Again? We make that code up? Do we know? I don't know, but I

don't like punching the numbers and I used. Oh and then the foot, always with the foot to flush that thing you're never touching that never touched the flusher ever. Oh my god. Ryan just sent us some more topics, like we haven't lost our audience yet, CTS messy makeup bag. She hasn't cleaned it up yet. What happened? Somebody? Something broke?

You're still using up powder? Huh? Is it that? Your your Charlotte Tillbury thing with all the flavors and now the one and when she says flavors, it's one stop chopping. We got the shadow, we got the highlighter, we've got the bronzer, and we've got the blush. And then here's how I like to do my makeup. I gonna do a makeup to Torial one day. And it's gonna go something like this. She actually, no matter where we are, she'll be in a star by bathroom and she'll whip

it out. I don't know how to do my makeup, but I know that, Hey, if I just swirl those brushes all together, we're gonna get some bronzer. We're gonna go on the jawline. We're going down on the deck. Now a sudden, there's sparkles everywhere because the shadows, that tiny little that tiny little square with shadows. Now we got glitter everywhere. But I love that mirror. That's a big mirror. You don't know what you're doing in those tiny little compacts anyways. Mine can't be trusted with a

mirror that big. No, I can't be trusted. No, you can't be trusted. But I I prefer or well, the makeup bag, you know, the freaking on the airplane. Now we've got the I'm gonna use the wrong word. What is it, the compression like the something. It busts it can altitude, whatever it is, it can, it can bust the stupid foundation. So now it's exploded everywhere. Now I'm digging around in there. The brushes were already dirty, which I needed to clean them fine, and I wonder why

I broke out. But now I'm picking up the lip gloss and I'm wiping the foundation off the side of the lip gloss, and we're going under here. I think the moral of the story is here. I take a lot of showers, but I'm dirty in the other areas well. We are fully aware, especially if you listen to our last episode about how to pack for a game. Now I am so clear. I'm just saying, like, I gotta clean the makeup bag, you know I do. I gotta. I gotta clean my beauty blunder. Maybe that's why I

have a trail of acne down my face. Stop picking is why. And this is someone who used to pick a lot. But the pressurized cabin, thank you, Ryan. The pressurized cabin is what. Now it's combusting and now it's going everywhere. And it's always that expensive foundation, the one I didn't want to buy, that that that that that lip gloss, that neutrogena, and that cover Girl make it through that I've had since high school. Speaking of an expiration date, what's the expiration date on the old mask era?

I think when it starts to pick up a scent. That's when it's bad. And I'm actually really really sensitive about mascara and timelines and expiration days because I was kind of a pink eye gal in college. I got pink eye a lot. No, not for I don't know. I just got pink eye a lot. And a lot of people think, oh, it's like back to the bathroom talk. It's whatever in your eye. That's not what it was. I just think, also, why I will never touch my finger.

I cannot stand when people put their freaking fingers in their eyes clean their eyes with their fingers. It's so gross, it's so nasty. So why am I popping my face? No idea. I can't stand biting the fingers. Fingers in your mouth, fingers in your eyes. It makes me want to COVID freaks me out about that. I'm gonna sorry. You're you put your fingers in your mouth. You do, but it's your nails, that's what you do. And there's

so much ship in your nails. Man, You're right, it's it's not your nails, but you know what I mean. But I am very cognizant of like, look that clear, look, Look how good that look? But this one I know you're right. It's um. I don't like nervous habits, but I think I just do it because I think it is. It's disgusting. I gotta go clean up my pick in my face. Hey fuck, um, and I have another job, and you've got to go sell some high waisted cropped fans and work. Oh my god, UM, love you and

this has been fun. And I understand if you guys want to unfollow me, because I'm probably on following you, you know, just mute him. They won't know. They never are here. Calm Down with Aaron and Chrissa is a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.