Episode 274: My Ass Was on Fire

I could feel the drops just going down, and then my ass was on fire. Calm down with Erin and Carissa is a production of iHeartRadio. Well. I never thought i'd see the day Millennia got a cat.

I got a kitty. Weasa's got a cat. She's got something that's not a four hundred pound What was Weezer's dog in?

Stevegnoyas that big rock biler or whatever it was, come on, rex kill what was I don't know.

This is one of my three barn kitties.

I'm up at the ranch for the first name her perr on that microphone in two months because I have a West Coast game this week, So I got up here. So these little babies were left on the side of the road and my sweet Tony found them and so they were baby kitties, yeah, like two months ago. Now they seem so big. But I named this one Taylor Swift.

But whatever, or going see what's the ginger one name? Ginger?

Oh, she's Ginger color, and she's ginger. I know I didn't describe that very well. But anyways, yeah, I wasn't even indicats. Now I think they're adorable.

Yeah, color till she Clauseia, she loves me. Welcome to the podcast. Everyone meow me five.

In the books, we're often running, sister, I have seen zero highlights zero zero What do you mean because she was looking? No, I just I don't know what happened. I got home, I was connecting with my husband. He was gone, not connecting like that.

We got it.

We got it, lots of download on our end, but yeah, I didn't see wow all of this. Green Bay was down quite a bit and then they came back, is that correct?

I don't know what happened. Anyways, I'll find out.

There's a lot of games were exciting in week five, since even Baltimore went to at Baltimore came out on top. There you had the Houston Bills game, the Texan's able to squeak that one out. Then you also your game the forty nine ers interesting and that I mean, my god, well you had heat stroke.

I don't know if you remember what happened.

This is we love our guy well he's more your guys, I mean, it's not mine.

Kyle Shanahan.

An interesting stat thirty eight and oh when entering the fourth quarter with a ten plus point lead, is that good?

Thirty eight? No is until yesterday Seahawks lost to the Giants. I paid more. What happened there?

They sacked Daniels or they were a lot, Well they shouldn't.

Well, never mind, we'll get into We'll get into all of that.

In the pregame of Thursday night, Fino on what was happening there. Yeah, an interesting week in the NFL game every week on Thursday. I was so invested it will well, first of all, I'm we had just covered the box, so it was interested to see how the Bucks would recover from that one hundred and ten tempts on the field. Also, by the way, before we get into it, shout out to everyone in the Tampa Bay area and who may be affected by this horrific hurricane. I hope it falls

The last time.

That was a great question you asked him. That was a great first question when he got up on the desk. I meant to text you all this stuff. I'm so sorry I didn't, but that was a great question. When was the last time you've thrown for that much like pee wee or something.

Didn't you ask that right?

Yeah?

Because I was like, so good, when would you have thrown for five hundred? I mean college?

Anyways, So he had a great night and Kirk Cousins, he I just got to say, Kirk Cousins takes a lot of shit where it's like, oh, we gets paid all this money, but he doesn't, you know, win in the playoffs or it's like this and that. It's like you obviously you and I get to know these guys on a personal level. If no one listening to this knows anything about Kirk Cousins, go Back and Quarterback on Netflix. He is the sweetest, kindest, like such a good human being.

And he was like, Hi, course was like I remember.

When you covered the Big ten Network. And I was like, you sit down right now, you little cutie. But he's just and then he said to Sherm like thanks for all we supporting me. He just is such a classic and look, and so is the quarterback on the other side of that game, Baker Mayfield, who we both loved find is so much. But it's just fun to be

So yeah, that one was really fun.

We'd never done a Thursday NET game in Atlanta before, so that was fun.

But yeah, very week. I mean, I spent ten years of my life there.

No, well, I'll tell you you know this already, but Charles Barclay, one of our favorite human beings. He was there because he stays at the same hotel that we were staying at. And we walked into the bar we'd all just come from dinner, and I come on the corner and we talked about on the pregame how Gronk is like a human espresso shot.

So is Charles Lane.

I mean, the second you see this guy, like, I just lit up so excited. I haven't seen him in like a decade. I mean, he's like, gee, last time I saw you were doing a sit down interview and I'm like, we when, like it was so so long ago, but we're going to have him on the We talked about coming on the podcast.

He says he's going to come on whenever we want him to, which is now. So yeah.

I say what he said to you. I don't think Ryan or Wine. Did you tell Ryan yet? No?

I haven't told Ryan yet. You gotta say, Ryan, listen to this. This is good, Okay.

Ryan's our wonderful producer, who, by the way, the mas and so is Kurt who's on here as well, who's our great producer and deals with us talking about the fucking nonsense. Charles says to me, he goes, girl, you and Aaron got that podcast, and I go yes, and he goes, you know, i'd come on anytime. And I'm like yeah, and he goes, but not when the underlings text me, you too, need to text me directly. And

Charles will go straight to the source.

He goes, you guys text me, I'm on in a minute, Underlings text me not responding, I can't wait. Time. He's such a time. So that turned into three am in the lobby with a big group a time. My god, he's just yeah, he's a real gift. He's Christmas three hundred and sixty five days a year with the stories when he starts going down the MJ story lane and like all of those, like I just am like glued to the television. Anyways, so Royalty. This past week I sat next to Royalty. I mean he actually was on

Oh god? It was like things I never thought i'd talk to this, just where we're at in life. Yeah, but in the best way possible. Yeah, he's a great class act as all that comes to mind with that beauty. Steve, Are you okay? I think Steve just felt what happened? Oh?

Oh, he's yelling from the other room. Oh it's something about the ranch. Oh god, I'm just to keep writing checked AnyWho, back to us. Okay, So where are you this week?

Oh? You're you got a great one? We have got great one. Yeah.

We have Detroit at Dallas. It's been a minute since we've had Dallas one week. I'm kidding and uh yeah, I think our crew deserves to go back to a dome. We've dealt with excessive heat waves over the last two weeks. So how hot was it on the field this weekend?

Yesterday? It was hot. It was one hundred and one. I will say the difference.

In the heat was the sun was just hot, like it was just on your skin and you felt. Like Kevin said it perfectly, He's like, if I'm at at Cabana with a margarita, this feels a little different because there wasn't any humidity. But it's like I could just feel it radiating off my chest and I was like, wow, this will be not a great game.

Better on my sideline forty nine ers because the shade came quicker at the third quarter. But it was hot. It was fucking hot. I just tell you.

The first thing that I think about when I'm like, like it's like beating on my chest, all I think about is the laser surgery that I had to remove all of my moles, all of my sunspots, and then the heat is blistering, and You're.

Like this, that's such a trial thing.

But I'm like, it's God, damn it, I just spent all this money to get rid of the damage I've already done.

I'd be like, you guys, have a different shirt I could wear.

I know, I know, and I could jersey black because the week before it was all white and it's like, I can't do it again?

And I was like, ah, how bad is it really going to be?

The problem was the sun was just at my back, so it's like I could feel the drops just going down. And then my ass was on fire because my pants were a little thicker, was black, it was hot. I had my phone in my ass pocket. My phone is like temperature. I'm like, jeez, I gotta check the stats. What's going on? Is there an update on moody? I can't because I'm moody because my phone's not working.

It's like, oh fucking thing. Wait, I'm gotta tell you something too. Do you ever have this happened?

Where I had worn pleather Week one in Miami because I like the outfit.

So I was like, you know what, who cares?

Like?

I don't dealing with it? Yeah, leather and everyone? Not everyone.

That's a huge exaggeration because no one cares that much. But the people are like, wow, weren't you so hot wearing leather? And I'm like, so you didn't think that. I thought of that. Yeah, I know I'm hot, but I was interested in having the look. It looked better than any other option that I had I don't know why I get so annoyed. It's like, yeah, of course I'm hot, just the same ways, the same thing to me. As soon as I got out of the car, Wow, all black? What am I supposed to do? Guys Graham

Kids?

And then when I'm wearing like ridiculous likely tall shoes and I'm walking in hill through the oh god, oh those uncomfortable, wildly uncomfortable.

But they look fucking great. Great, I don't care, great, shut up. You know what?

Also look great? And I'll give it a shout out. That's the closest to Rosie Huntington, Wheatley Whitely, Kylie Heath, you.

Knock it off. I got in the car.

Question, sure, hold on, I got in the car and Kevin goes, wow, that's a power pony, power pony, gid yot, what's your question, dear?

Was that all your hair?

Who?

Absolutely not?

Because I was like, how did she get that? Like so perfect in the bag? Credible doesn't look like a piece. That's why I was asking that there were all the pieces in there and not a plezosiac. But it was not a Kim zosiak with I mean, this was very, very like seamless. She had said to me, I'm gonna have to take this out when we get to the airport because this thing is high tight and multiple rubber bands. Sorry, men, if you are not entertained by this at all, but

So then we all get on.

We are the assholes on the plane that think it's our private jet. Yep, we sure were. Julian and Kylie are here, Kevin and I are here, were like, hey talking talking, Hey, anyways, I get you guys.

Were everyone we hate Yep? Bless you, bless you.

I get home and I look at Jared and I'm like, you gotta help me take this ponytail out, and he's like, okay. She had, you know, the rubber bands that are clear, and I don't know how it held this much hair. She was taking section by section and doing little time like ponytails, and then put it all into one. I have no clue how she put all that weave up in there and then she raked it all incredible, but there were seventeen thousand, almost like little brass.

Yeah.

The retainer that used to change the color shirt. Yeah, And I thinks orange and black is good on your teeth. I love the effort. I kept having to pull it up and Jert would cut and I was like, wash it out for the real hair. He's like, I know, I know, she said. The time I had the job, she did an incredible drop. I had to have a guy cut out a weave one time because I didn't

So I was showering, thinking like that was normal, and it took my head.

It's so bad. He pulled off the top left and the braids in the back had molded. Oh god, oh my god, you guys. I was like, what the fuck?

How many times do you wash that? Well?

That was the one un done. I was like, I have I can't afford to have extensions, So you get you need to wait to have nice things. But yeah, no, yours looked incredible. We've come a long way. It was good. It was good, it was good. What else were we saying? Oh? Can we tell we love a good travel story? A couple of travel stories? How about this past week I went to before I went to San Francisco over the weekend, I went there to do a sit down with the

I'd like, a glass of alcohol? Is the season?

Somebody walked up to me and said, hey, I hope there's not a dog on your flight. I listened to the podcast and I said, thank you so much. So here's my weekly travel story. I'm not a big stickler for people who aren't in the right seat. We've discussed this before, like, if you're in my seat, whatever I do.

Don't that's fine.

I now have figured out how people if they want the window and they got the aisle, how they get that done. They get on plane first, they have a book open, they're already drinking.

Their glass of wine.

And when the person like me comes and goes, oh, hey, that's my seat, then they go, oh, do you mind if I'm in it and you've.

Got your wine in book? There was now you're the asshole. I'm the asshole.

And it was a forty five minute flight, and I was already feeling good. But the fact that she just goes, oh, but are you okay with this? What am I supposed to say? No, bitch, gets out the way exactly, Luda move, get out the way.

How about al saying Luda In the States, he goes, I don't know, Luda.

Fitty sent is my boy, and so is two chains I said, you are an American treasure.

Oh yeah he is.

But anyways, I think that is in fact the way that you take over a seat and be like, oh, I'm all set up.

It's a plane hack. Wow. Interesting, I haven't thought about that before. I'm gonna tell you though.

I used to always be a window goal and I think I'm moving to the aisle. How come I think I'm gonna make the switch because I was like the window so I could lean against it so I could fall asleep. But now the more I'm at the window, the more I'm finding that it would be helpful to be on the aisle so I could get if I have to go to the baths.

I'm I have to come back if I want to have to put that leg out in the aisle before the old leg out in the aisle. You know, I don't know. I think I might be making the switch.

Yep. I'm excited for our game this week for a couple of different reasons. It's a great game game Niners Seahawks, both coming off of losses. Both you you know, sometimes it's so dramatically, oh it's a must win, but it is a time. It's a must win for a couple of different reasons, because Division w's wins are vital, especially when it comes down to the end of the year. Also for both these teams psychologically to get.

Back on track.

So but I'm very much looking forward to going home. It's always fun to go back and do a game in Seattle. I have that like nostalgic thing that growing up I always wanted to be a sports broadcaster. So like going back home and cool being in a stadium that used to go to, Like I wasn't the same stadium because we used.

To go to the Kingdome. But AnyWho, what else do we have?

Oh, this is from Atlanta, where I was like, I freaking out. I love that game you guys played. You guys looked like you had so much fun in Atlanta. We know you did before the game and after the game with Charles Barkley, but yeah, your post game, so it's great. So this is these are I live for an Aaron voice. No, And we also have a rule like let's not go over two minutes. But sometimes there's a lot to say so at the end of keep in mind, like with Amazon streaming, we're not on a brocket.

There's not a local news, you.

Know, broadcast coming up after our game like it would at Fox, where like you have to get off the air hard time.

So we've got a whole So how do they decide.

That how long you're on for? We go on for as long as we want because I loved how you go.

We're dying.

I'm not coming back for another segment because spoon got in my ear and he goes, no, we have one more segment. We're done here because here's my thing. We has too much. We can't keep going. People have tuned out, they're not interested. But they did that so different than working on for a network where it's like there's a hard hard stop hard out AnyWho. So we always do like something random and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't in this particular case. At Mercedes Benz Stadium, they pride

Not break the bank.

Love that.

It's awesome.

So we did a game where it was is the price of the item higher or lower than the price that we had showed. So for example, the hot the microphone, about that Bob Barker recipes microphone and it was okay, the hot dogs three dollars? Is the price Mercedes spent stadium for this hot dog? Higher or lower than three dollars? Okay, so we went down the line. My favorite thing though, is Aaron doesn't say anything about anything other than the game.

And here's why.

Lower Oh High they had this great box that was in a oh And they had a box that was the stadium that was so cool. They had a whole tray where you could get like popcorn, nachos, hot.

Dog, blah blah blah, sodas under thirty dollars.

I mean it really is so for anyone in the Atlanta area are looking to take their kids.

How about Marshawn Lynch going to the aquarium. The best thing. There's a lot of great things about Amazon.

One of the great things is to start the feature Amazon or Marshawn Lynch. Who anyone that knows Marshawan knows who knows what he's gonna say?

Right, he goes.

I thought I'd be coming to Atlanta to see ash cheeks clap it not the aquarium.

Guess what makes it?

You never know what those manatees are up to give it a whirl.

They left it in the piece. I said, God, love you guys. Ask cheeks clapping. It's so good, is that flipper? Have you ever been to the aquarium in Atlanta?

I think so. I'm not a real aquarium zoo kind of gal.

Why bother you? I think everything should be out.

In the word. Wow, miss you.

I'm with you. Yeah, I know that.

And that's by the way, I'm so with you, and I am happy to talk to anyone that works at any of these spaces. But I can appreciate that they rehabilitate animals and there's a lot of good things.

That come from that.

I just I'm with you. Yeah, that's why I like a sanctuary. That's what we're looking to do here at Ruby Ranch. Am I sweating?

God? It's so hot? And wow, look at that? You know what'sponse? Is it hot? By you?

Guys? It's so hot. I thought it was going to be cold coming up here. It was all excited. I brought my sweatshirts for it to be cozy, like the foliage are dropping from the trees. So we were in California, we might as well be in the South. Now, this was you at the game, but you weren't sweating. I was. I also, this is why I need to boatox underneath my arms. And then I know it's not good for you. I get it that we've just sweat. There's a lot

Yeah, yeah, I got no getting it in there. I don't care. I don't care. I've got a stink.

It's not you know, I'm not with Kyle Shanahan, and smelling is what I rather have an option. I'm gonna tell you what my trick is. I always have the perfume in the bag too. I'll be on that set. I'll pretend like I'm going into the bag for a pen. And oh yeah, I got to tell you who smells great post game here in New York post make this a headline.

I don't care. Dak Prescott came up to the set.

He left and we all went and by the way, he was still in his under like shirt, not his pads, his undershirt from the game, and we were like, God, he smells fantastic. Fits goes gree cologne, And this is what I thought, Dak, please answer. I was like, if he went into the locker room, took off his pad and sprayd some Colonne because he knew he was gonna come out, that's some ship we would do.

I don't want to smell.

I don't. I don't.

I love you for that, sure don't great. Anyway.

I got a new I got a new well. I got to I like that I have going on. It's the Lalabo newar into it.

I love it. It lasts. Yeah, I got a new one that's being delivered tomorrow. What number real? Nice?

No, different, not lollabo. I'm gonna try it out. I'm gonna try it out and see what the kids think. I'm working with a tom Ford vanilla sex is the name of it, and then I mix it with another perfume that it's called bow. I don't know who makes it. It's a sure it's not bio no, but that's.

I don't have it. That's the thing. I never stink. It's just a sweat. Is that.

Is that perspiration or what's the difference between like anti persperin an deodorant deodorant? Is this smelling anti persperin is the sweat?

And just stop touching it. It's also weird. It's okay, that's okay. I don't know where they are.

I'll go over there on the curtains, like, okay.

That's just me. What else was I going to say about it?

I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, I got I got a bone to pick with you.

Oh great, who doesn't. No, it's not a real bone.

Before we got on here, I said something about Miranda Lambert.

We got brought up and I was like, oh my god, we're such dicks.

We didn't text her, and you said I did, and I was like, but I wasn't on that text change, so she okay, So.

I kind of thought about it.

Later. We had the great podcast with Miranda Lambert and she talked about how she slips into people's dms who she wants to work with. You told her about your dare to DM things. She seemed great. It was one of those we just were really excited after we talked to her because she was everything we wanted her to be. She was the country music version of Gronk. She was everything we wanted her to be and more and she's just cool. So we kind of thought we were all down and we stopped clapping.

Got a real good friend and something bad about to happen.

Oh. So I was feeling good on a flight home and I had a few drinks in me and I put us all three on a DM and we got crickets, and so I wanted to call myself out on the podcast and I talked about it and people are like, oh no, no, Well, all of a sudden, she DM me and goes, I didn't forget about you, I promise, and and then she goes text me and then gave the cell. But I haven't texted her, Oh but I wait, ro back on the DM and I said, I love you so much.

Oh that's fine.

I thought you texted her. Oh thank god. I thought you were going solo.

Text and I'm not without you. Thank you. That's what I was. You did that. No no, no, no no no no.

Never. It like reminds me of the time. So I, as we know, I never watched Curb write whatever. But Larry, we get it. We love Larry. It's like the time where it's like you split the check and then you tip, and then I ask you what you're tipping and you tip more and don't tell me you're tipping more. Yeah, So now like I'm the asshole and it's like, well,

We're back. But she did respond we love her. She's great.

Yeah, I can't wait to hear about Seattle. When are you going? Oh, don't share that, that's that's private information. I'm so excited for you to go. Are you gonna have a good time there? Are you gonna go early enough to do that?

Or no?

No, I'm to be honest, because it's a West Coast game. We haven't had a West Coast game.

You get this. That's why I can be at the ranch.

I'm going to sneak some days here while I can't because i haven't been up here forever, and I'm feeling like a terrible mother. And I got to tell you what I pulled in here. Last night we left house, and I'm so excited for going there to see my puppies. And they came running up and I just hadn't seen them and I missed them so much, and all the animals here, and it just makes me so happy. So even if it's for twenty four hours, we're in, we're out and then yeah, Seattle, and it's great.

Hold on what do we got hold on? Before we leave? We do have something to talk about. I really haven't talked to you.

I've just exchanged voice notes and texts what were you doing on Saturday? All dressed up? Going to a funeral and drinking? Because that would be my funeral.

It was a Halloween tour, by the way, it's fun. What was it?

I also it was a self made Halloween tour. Oh, Sarah was in town whal she was in town a Philium for Good Morning Football, and she was like, let's do something fun and random. I love fun and random, so that usually involves a theme because I love dressing up in a costume.

So we were like, let's just get a limo, a stretch limo. You heard me?

Are those still available? They sure are? But I those costs and nine and forty nine dollars. But for all day I thought it was the best deal ever. I was like, that would have been like tall shacks and bags. Whoa, it's a great deal. And we dressed up. Look at the cat, Look at Taylor Swift. Oh god, she's jumping

Oh.

We also went to the Beverly Hills Hotel Steve Lyede and said that his grandfather just died, who obviously his grandfather has passed away years ago, Rest in peace, dominic. But we didn't have a table, so then that's how we got the table. So we'll probably never be asked back. But he was like, my grandfather just died, and we came from the funeral. We were all dressed in black. The best thing about La though, no one cared. No

That was it. So, yeah, you know what you should do. Okay, this is what you and I were going to do.

We are going to fold a bunch of different themes like I did this one time during COVID and that we rented a boat and we did a Gilligan's Island theme and you dress up as a character. So we're going to write down whether it's Friends or whether it's Yellowstone like all different shows. We're going to put him in a hat and we're going to draw it out and then we're going to get a group of people together and we're going to go.

Out as that theme. You think it's great because I think it's important.

We get so caught up in the hamster wheel of our lives, and like sometimes, even for the six hours that we did this the other day, it was nice to just be random.

So I love it.

Yeah, but anyways, all right, love you all, Bye bye. Calm Down with Erin and Carissa is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.