You want to make sure everyone's happy, but then conversely putting everyone else's happiness before yours, and then you get resentful, and then it all comes out.
Calm Down with Erin and Carissa is a production of iHeartRadio, Whitny.
Oh Hi, I'm looking with us is coming out of the pantry. This dog Loves Trees. Welcome everybody to the Calm Down Podcast. It is already July, whatever day it is. The fourth has passed and we are off and running. I hope all of you guys are enjoying what semblance of a summer vacation you have keeping the kids occupied. I always feel for those parents and it's like, oh my god, what are we going to do with these kids every day? Yes, you do?
You do with the camps?
The this the like Jarrett was ordering a sandbox last night when I was facetiming you, Mac is busy, this guy. We got a lot of things to discuss, but also not a lot of things to discuss. We're kind of Aaron and Ireland just like weird holding patent, Like we're not back to work, but we already have to like ramp down our summer plans because it's going to start up.
What's happening with all of you guys? For those of you that listen to on the pregame, we love love your guys's questions, comments and concerns, so we always will address those whenever we can, including anonymous follow ups that have those reminded reminding you to submit them because we do love a follow up. And we've got some fun headlines today, Aaron.
Yes, we want to discuss well being a people pleaser, right, We've CHRISA and I have had a lot of conversations this week about that, not this week, actually this month, actually the last two months.
Well we're I'm vascinating because I'm going back and forth with like I am such a people pleaser, but then I also don't really care, Like I don't know which one I am. Like some days it's like I really care and I want to make sure everyone's happy, and then another day I'm like, fuck everyone, like I don't care, Like just live your life and why does everyone care about what everyone else doing? And why do I care? So it's mad at me. I don't know. I'm in
a weird thing. So we can dive into that. And then also because we're just in our feelings apparently really in our feelings, you have concerns about what people's honesty or something.
No, no, no, we were just talking about being people pleasers. And then I feel like it was it like a question in our pregame about people that are fake and maybe too audiust and not having a filter. Yeah, so we have a little bit of therapy to go through, and we have some great headlines that lead to always fantastic conversations. So let's let's just lay down on the couch right now, all of us and talk about anyone.
Pick your feet up and relax. Hopefully you're in a hammock. It's the summer. Oh.
I am a people pleaser and I have had multiple conversations with my husband this past week. Tears have been involved, also alcohol. So it's fine. I want to stop. I want to stop caring. I really really do, because here's the bottom line. You can't make people happy. But in the moment when I'm trying to, I get out of my mind. I'm like running around like I just I want to make everyone happy and I am having a hard time with it. But then I have the attitude
where it's like, can't do it. Sorry, it's the you know, I have one month left in my life so before you know, football starts. So yeah, that's kind of where I am. And I'm really really bad about not being a people pleaser, So.
I wonder what that is because you and I both struggle with this a little bit as we delve into the topic. We naturally want to make sure that everyone is happy. Right. For example, at Max's first birthday party, you spend the majority of the time it did have fun. Right, You're making because you're being a good host, but you more than that. The headline is you want to make sure that everyone else has had in a great time.
So what does that do to you? It means that you're not having a great time because you're spending all your energy worried about everybody else. I think it's a great quality that you care so much, but going to share my life, and I would love any therapist or licensed professional that knows how to handle this, even if you didn't go to school or have formal training on it, some ways where you can balance this need that Aaron and I both have. And I know a lot of
people probably feel this way. Whether it's in your job, whether it's in your relationship, whether it's with as a parent or or whatever, it is is that you want to make sure everyone's happy, but then conversely putting everyone else's happiness before yours, and then you get resentful and then it all comes out Like sometimes I do that in a relationship, right, Like not necessarily so much with STY, but like this idea where it's like you get pushed and you get pushed and you get pushed to a
certain limit and then you just lose your shit one day and it's like, well what about me? And it's like I don't know how to balance that. And then I also so have a tendency to say I'm sorry. Like I had a situation with a work deal today where there was some confusion about scheduling and this and that or whatever, and I was frustrated because now it puts me behind in a certain capacity and now I
got to like scramble and get ready. And then as soon as I bitched about it, then I felt bad for bitching and I was like, oh, I'm so sorry, Like I didn't need to be sorry, like it was these were reasonable frustrations. So it's like, what is that in us? And I know sometimes oh, we're women. I don't buy that, because I think men can do this too. How do we balance being people pleasers but then also taking care of ourselves. I don't know what.
I don't know how to do it, and I wish. Isn't there like a book called The Art of Not Giving a Fuck? I think there I have.
I've read that, yeah, and I mean it's helped him. Right. Well. The problem is, like you read it and you're like, it all makes sense, especially and I don't know who or I should know. It's probably around here somewhere. Actually, let me see it was right here, oh.
Chapter one somehow with a subtle, subtle art of not giving a fee.
Oh no, that book back there is attached different relationship styles. Apparently I was reading that at one point. No, I uh, I yes, the book is great, and especially the way that it's written. It's so conversational and it makes sense in the moment. I just I don't know how to apply it. Yeah, So I would definitely love to learn
how to do that. And this idea of like standing up for yourself and like this whole thing, but then not coming across as being bitchy or being high maintenance like that's when it is my fear, like at work or anything like, I always want to be accommodating because naturally, like I don't think I am a diva, Like if the hair person or the make a person or whoever Wardrop doesn't show up, Like I'm a forty two year old woman, I can figure it out. I don't have
to like depend on everyone else for these things. No, it's nice, and these are luxury things. But like you're grown up. If something doesn't, you know, fall into place, like how can you adjust? So yeah, I don't know. I don't I don't try to get a therapist. Come on and talk to us about it. Okay, let's look, let's look into that. In the meantime, we do acknowledge that this is something that we need to work on.
And also we're when you were talking about being like people being honest a little too honest, I don't know. Sometimes I like it. I mean I'm a little too honest sometimes, but yeah, you feel so in.
A self deprecating way about yourself, not about like situations or I mean I have friends, you know one very well that is very honest. He'll be really honest right up front, say how it is, and everybody's like, well like, and I have a little anxiety around because I want things to be perfect. But yeah, sometimes I'm very jealous of those people that they can live that way, but
other times it's very hard to be around it. So yeah, I think we got a question about just you know, people that are fake or well, if you're honest or not fake, but people that just put it out there and say what they're going to say. I'm like, a lot of times it's a little intimidated of that, but that because I'm a people person, or just.
Say yeah, as as you're explaining that. I think it's because we don't want to be so honest, because we don't want to hurt people's feelings, right, right, interesting, all right, I get a lot to work on these months, you know, Yeah, you got to figure it all out this month. I don't know if I'm going to figure it all out this month. But I do love the idea of constantly not constantly let me rephrase that, I love becoming a
better version of myself. Whether that's being conscious about deficiencies that I have are things that I want to be better at, whether that's in a friendship, whether that's in a relationship. I have a tendency too. I did it today.
I was getting a facial and it was so lovely and sweet Donna who gives me my facials, and it was just so relaxing, and she started to tell me a story about something that was going on in her life, and I hijacked the conversation and then flipped it and made it all about like my life and what had happened to me in that same situation. So it was like I I asked the words. I was like, I'm so sorry, Like I just made this all about me
and we're talking about you. So I'm trying to be more self aware of instead of being like, oh well when this happened to me, Da da da dah, it's like, do a better job, God bless you. Aaron just needed her thing because she's me. It's a sweet girl doing a better job of asking that person follow up questions about what they're talking about, not trying to be like, oh well when that happened to me, I blah blah blat. It's because now I'm turning it those kinds of things.
I'm just trying to be more aware of.
Yeah, no, that's smart. I feel like I do that too. When people bring things up, I'm like, well, when I dealt with something like this, and then I do the same thing, and so then now I'm worried about not pleasing those people. So it's all like a.
Big how's your guys' day going good?
Oh my god? Did we lose everybody? Are they here? Let's talk about these headlines because they're great.
You also know a good time. You also know it's the time in our life when we're just in this like weird spot where we're like, what's wrong with us? How can we be better? As opposed? We went to London, we had great time, We're on vacation and I'm in love.
I'm in love.
I'm in love. Here we go.
Great headlines, all right, Drinking just one alcoholic beverage per day shortens your life stand by this insane amount. Well, this is uplifting. Consuming just one alcoholic beverage per day, whether it be a pint of beer, glass of wine, or a shot of your favorite spirit, can shorten your life span by approximately two and a half months. So I will be dead by the time Mac goes to high school. That is so sad.
Well, here's the thing. Here's my feeling about all this. I don't know. There's studies and there's another study that says, like a glass of wine and this doesn't take it. I'm not trying to take anything away from doctor Stockwell, here, you obviously have some research to support this.
Right, I you sound so uplifting.
Yeah, I just think that it's one of those deals that the next study could say, like a glass of wine helps you every single day, right, like the European way of life where it's like, oh, have a glass of wine in the siesta in the middle of the day. Okay, fine, I think you got to do what's best for you. Now. Look, excessive amounts of anything is not good, right. I don't care if it's alcohol. I don't care if it's working out, I don't care. I mean, anything in excess is a problem.
But I'm not gonna worry too much about this. I do believe though, in taking bricks, like I'm not drinking this week. Like that's like I just came off of like a really fun time at the ranch. Like, you know, I gave myself permission to, like, if I wanted to have a drink at noon, have a drink at noon or nine am, but like I don't.
Yeah, you're dealing with big animals and machinery. Why not drink it now? You know what I mean?
When I'm operating that John Deer track, or you just go ahead and throw back that yellow belly. You know what I mean? Girl curls original correct, I just but I do. You've got to like take a break today this week I'm having like and I'm excited about it. Like boy, this morning, you go in the cold tub, you get the green juice like reset, recharge, and then do what's best for you. But thank you for your thoughts.
Doctor love it.
I charge other moms for play dates with my daughter. Trolls say it's tacky, but it's only fair. From TikTok, my mother posted a video saying can we normalize ending the other family money for play dates? My daughter had a friend over and asked her asked her mom for money. After the play date, I text her mom and said, thanks for letting Jamie play today because I don't know people will have haout this share with the Venmo totally fifteen dollars via Venmo. I also sidebar, we have to
stop making Venmo reasons public. Like today I saw on Venmo because I venmoed my sweet nail lady. One of the things that people put on the reasons for venmoing on here are absolutely insane. One of them I'm not even kidding. Oh it says I always do a heart so people don't know what I'm doing. I thought, but I think no, It's like, but why is this public? Why are the reasons that you're paying someone public? It's bizarre, hard work. I mean, I was public, you guys, we've
got to normalize not being public. Kristen's car wash and then these dollar not You're like, wait, we are venmoing someone five dollars? Like anyways, going back to the initial conversation, are you a Venmo judger? You're a Venmo judger one hundred percent. I'm a Venmo judger.
You're a people pleaser and a Venmo judger. How do you live with yourself?
By the way, because I am a people pleaser, I would never in a million years be this woman who asked for money for the play date. I wouldn't do you get a random request from people? I do one hundred percent. Going through lifetime, you insane. I would love to help you, but this is not the way to do it. Okay, I can no rand fifty dollars. No, I think it's I think. And everyone's in a different
situation economically, okay. And if you're under a hard financial you know, time in your life, then maybe we have to say to your daughter, we're not going over to play because we don't have the money to do that. I'll play with you outside or something. We can't be asking people for money. Did you see what this is? A dollar for chalk applesaft a dollar frouit, a dollar sat on the couch, wear and tear? A dollar?
Are we what?
Do we not have any shame in requesting? Can you imagine? Is this someone for a dollar for wear and tear?
Yeah? That I'm about to like enter. Is this the world? I find that incredible? Hey, I have something with children that I'd like to ask people, And I won't charge you for your submissions, but I would love to know if there are any good books out there about not disciplining a child. I'm not looking for that, but just like insight of dealing, I have a one year old. There's a whole world out there of temper tantrums. You know,
here's a situation I had. We go to a fun gym class and in the beginning is story time and Kitty Kat did not want to sit there for storytime. He has just started walking, and my man wants to go to the balance beam and try to figure out how to hit his head. I mean, that is what we are looking forward to. You got an electrical socket, We're going to find it. But I kept picking him up because we were the only ones not participating in storytime.
I kept picking him up and putting him down, and We're screaming and we're whining, and I'm like, okay, what I what's the guideline for this? What am I doing? This is one? Am I making him sit there? Am I standing up holding him so we're still there? Or do I just say, you know what, we want to go play with the electrical outlets. Also, we're not playing with the electrical outlets. I'm making a joke, but that's what my man does. When you know he finds it.
You need to know where to plug in your phone. My man, I'll find it. So yeah, I'm kind of curious if anyone has a good book about like what a guide or advice or because I can google or look on TikTok, but that already screwed up my skin with Chinese or excuse me, Korean skincare. So you know.
I got an idea. Why don't you read him the subtle art of not giving a fuck? Okay, that's great.
But look at what I was doing. I'm worried about the story time. I'm worried about the people there. I'm the kid. Everybody knows. You know. It's like, well, I'll.
Tell you what. Who's not worried about anything? This mom that's asking for a dollar for shop? No, no, no, I'm sorry.
No, I know I get in.
If your kid goes, if this kid's going on vacation with another family, absolutely you give the kid a couple hundred dollars. You don't need the family paying for every meal. Like I get that. But then I'm also, again, who am I? But I'm like, we're going to swap the kids at one point. Your kid's gonna come over here and it's all going to balance out, so we can't be charging. I'm sorry. Send me your Venmo and I'll give you the fifteen dollars that you need for this
play day. I'm sorry. I can't handle that. I'll tell you what I can handle. Can we give a round in the class for Greg Olsen? I'll Greg Olsen man Wedding Guest of this Century Wedding guest. A photo of Greg Olsen having an absolute blast at Christian McCaffrey's wedding. This guy he just anybody to the Travis Kelsey Taylor Swift wedding.
I know it.
I mean, I'll work is a parking lot attendant at that wedding too. Greg is sweating through the shirt, disheveled beyond repair, and he looks like he's having the time of his life. And that's how I want any guest at the wedding. I'm not going to have to look like that, because that means we're having a great goddamn time.
I If you know Greg, you know it doesn't take much for him to be sweating through his shirt. I've actually stood on top of the roof of the football stadium there in Arizona as we were doing Super Bowl promos YEP State Farm, and he just crushed his shirt, his dress shirts. I took video of it. It was a whole wow. It looked like we were doing an underwater shoot. But I had to text him right away when I saw it. He said he had an absolute blast. He said it was just simply a time. And you're right.
I mean, Greg Olsen, you're invited. I would invite him to any wedding ever. He is just first of all, he's great at a Friday night dinner, Saturday night dinner. But my man, he crushed on those those pictures. You know what, Yeah, I'm gonna say something, do it. I know we gave a little shout out to Olivia and the way she looked. I don't know if you saw any of the crap people gave her about the dress
and her Vogue shoot and what they were saying. I texted her, I DMed her, and I said, you know what, I hope you still have that fabulous glow after your wedding. Your husband's fantastic. You guys look like you had a time. By the way, are there any flowers left in the state of Rhode Island? Because those were gorgeous? But like, you know what, like how sad is your life if you have to rain on this woman's parade or wedding day.
It's just, by the way, raining on wedding day is good luck, but you're just people are so mean.
This always comes back to one thing for me is that whether it's ar Taylor Swift conversation or it's Olivia looking incredible at her wedding incrediblebody wants to find a lot of people. I won't say it's some people there because there's a large contingent of people that are not happy. Unless they're unhappy, they have to bitch about something and it's like, why can I could go rescue four hundred animals at a shelter and someone's going to say to me, well,
why didn't you rescue five hundred? It's like, why can somebody not just enjoying their life? Or her looking beautiful on her wedding day and then having comments about what she wore the reception. Okay, she had a long sleeve, who was every inch of her was covered up in her wedding dress. So the perception if who wants to change into something that's like she looks incredible and as well,
shut the fuck up. It's I'm so bored with this idea that everyone's got to find something negative in everything. We talk about being people pleasers. This is why I want to go the other way with it and not try to please anyone, because you're never going to be able to make everyone happy. I don't care if you're doing the most iritable thing on the planet or if
you're just trying to get married someone. In this world that we live in, in all these platforms that they get a voice behind their stupid little screen to write and say whatever they want. I hit golf balls on the on my own property, golf balls that are biodegradable, and some woman must be like, that's not good for the environment. I'm like Jesus Christ, like, okay, you know what what can I do? If I do anything? I had to kill a rattlesnake because the rattlesnakes are going
to kill the dogs. Then we got the activists being like, don't kill rattlesnakes. It's like, why does everyone have to find something negative with anything you do in life? Shut shut up.
It's just it's beyond me. I don't under it was that we thought we thought we had nothing to talk about today.
Well, we're never going to be silent. That's the problem. But for those of us, those be wonderful people that support the Calm Down Podcast, I know you guys are with me that it's like just men people. Is it's her weddings beautiful? She could show up wearing nothing if she wants to her reading's bag Jesus grace. All right, I actually likely that clap back at someone. Did you
see that? I guess I didn't see it, but I read a headline that and who knows if it was even accurate that he like said something to the woman that was talking about her dress. Again, don't know if it's accurate. If it's not, we can edit this out. But he's adorable and so sweet and I love him sticking up for her. And it's just sad you have to even give those people any attention.
But I well, that's the fine that's the fine line too when you talk about giving people those attentions because I'm not someone in our world that we live in.
Lord knows what people have said about me. I'm not and I learned very early, like on Twitter, not to write back. There's some other people that have been in this industry that I would see them like whatever the term is, clap back at people, and I'm like, it's just giving. It's feeding that person like they want they want. It's like they're almost baiting you to like write back, and now they are validated because now they know that they've upset you. So you're writing back, and it's like
a whole thing. Like I really don't go down that rabbit hole, because Jesus Christ, I wouldn't leave my house. But I think that there's a time and a place sometimes where you can stand up for yourself. I know, like Chloe Kardashian's done it when people have said not just Chloe Kardashian, but I'm saying, there are certain people where it's like gets to a point where you're allowed to defend yourself and be like hey back. So I don't know, it's just tricky.
McCaffrey took a stance It's oh from his verified ig he responded to a video criticizing her dress. McCaffrey took a dance in the comments section, writing what an evil thing to post online. I hope you can find joy and peace in the world the way my beautiful wife does. That'd be Cristie McCaffrey.
And it's very sweet.
And he doesn't like he's a quiet guy, like he doesn't get.
Involved in that.
That's where I was like, okay, CMC, go, may I.
May last headline that we got for y'all this is wait, can I give a funny comment right now? My man is one of my favorite lines from David Ortiz, who says it a lot my man, and also my girl Carissa Thompson, who one time I was on the phone with her and she was talking to somebody and she goes, you don't want to me my man. And so we've gone on vacations, we've been around, and so I use it all of the time because if you know anything about me, I love David Orties and I obviously love Carissa.
And well there's somebody we were sitting at lunch. Oh, we were sitting at lunch yesterday and we said something about some guy and I go, my man, and our danny goes, you have a lot of man, a lot of men. And I was like no, because I said I had to explain David Ortiz and Carissa.
I'll tell you he did have a lot of men. Me and my twenties. Apparently, if you listen to the pregame, here we go. All right, don't make me have to defend another title. Enough already, please, ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall. I'm sitting here saying that I should have been more promiscuous. I'll tell you who took one down and passed it around. Greg Oldsen, Christian McCaffrey's party.
I'm kidding. I love him. We can say that he would actually laugh at that joke and be like, you know what I mean, because he's mummy the ben He's mummy.
Okay, we'll talk about.
When Greg was on our podcast and he had that hat on because because because he was on vacation and he had the vacation hat that like, the second he goes to his vacation home, he puts on that hat, that's what we should have. I love traditions. So like, by the way, doctor Tim Stockwell is not going to like this. The second we get to the ranch, Stephen, I drive to the saloon and we do a shot
of whiskey. I don't even like whiskey. But like, I love traditions and I love starting something where it's like, oh, this is what we do and it's the whole thing is so ingreat put on that hat. You look like the scarecrow with that hat on. I just love anything. I would just start doing more traditions. Let's have some like you and I need to like like on the page, you know what I mean, like in life, like, oh, I don't know. I just feel like.
A peanut butter and jelly sandwich before every game. Is that a tradition? Oh that's Oh I didn't know you have it before every game? Is that a superstition? I feel like it just gives me energy. I don't know.
But let's say you let's say you forgot to have it. Would you be like, oh shit, I didn't have that because you're hungry, or you're like superstitious? Are you superstitious?
Yeah? I am you. I used to clear it. Yeah, I'm very superstitious. I know I would with a lot of things. Yeah.
Yeah, that's the only thing that like, I'm consistent about my superstition. Although I think I have a little OCD. I'm someone that you do. Oh wow, okay, doctor, doctor, don't mean don't mean the ACL surgery, the Tommy John. I I will leave the house. I will be halfway to the destination of where I'm going and be like, oh shit, I don't know if I blew out the candle or I don't know if I locked the back door, I will drive back home and ensure that the candle's
out and the back door is locked. I have I will fixate on something, like I told you about the thing that I left at the ranch and I was like, oh my God, like like I will fixate on things, And.
I say, I have gotten to the point in my life that yes, curling iron candle. Jarrett has told me numerous amounts of time, if you burn this house down, I'm going to be really pissed off. I have gotten to the point where like if I think, okay, so if in fact this curling iron is left on, how much of the bathroom will ignite like and the granite and how much would that really.
Be added with better grant in those bathrooms?
Well, I don't I don't know whatever we have, but like Marble home right Marble, I don't know, so how much will like okay, so will we lose our bedroom too? Like I'm thinking if nobody's guys, I'm not talking about the baby and the dog or in the house. I'm just saying, okay, so if it does catch on fire, so what is what? How much of the house will we lose? And can I get it back? Like That's
how fucked up I've gotten with that. I've had a citronella candle on the other day and there was this like succulent s plant right next to it, and in my head this was outside. I was like, I wonder if that succulently fell onto the candle and then would it ignite and then on the table and tables would and then the whole goddamn ranch goes up. No, I
I think the same thing. And we have had we were we were we had Max party and I left the bathroom candle on and I know there was not much left in it, Thank you, tom Ford, fucking fabulous, And I know there wasn't much left it. And I was in bed that night thinking to myself, Oh my god, is it still on? And if it is, will it explode or will it Like?
Yeah, I have a question Jade, who makes the wonderful candles? And I know she can answer this question, so maybe I could just text her, But we'll open this up to the conversation that is currently being had about candles. If that thing goes, if it's all the way down, will it shatter the glass? Like That's what I think about.
I've heard a story wasn't there some actress that a candle like she it exploded and like her house caught on fire.
I don't know, I know he's not happen. Oh, I'm such a psychopath. Like I like to leave like an outside light on or whatever. Well, it's been very hot, like in certain regions that I've been, and then I think to myself, will that light, will that light that they stayed on all that explode? Well, you're very much that way with a dryer. You won't put a dryer on. Absolutely not. You guys, do not leave your dryer on when you leave the house. Not do it. Yeah, you're
asking for trouble. I have so much anxiety right now. It is bana. This is crazy. Okay, Well you know I want to give you more anxiety with our last headline that's about religious God.
This is such an uplifting podcast. We go another Taylor Swift concert so we can fucking be like happy and brace book on Jesus.
Actually, you know what this goes to show is that we actually are really happy in our lives because we're like looking for things to diagnose about ourselves as opposed to them just being fucking glaring headlines.
I've diagnosed a massive infection in my chin. Okay, go on, we need to we.
Need to figure this out. We need a therapist and a dermatologist on here. Why just the chin area for you? Oh hormu?
And fucking around with Korean skincare without getting advice of what to use, and it was all clogged up, and I used a scrub and I didn't know what it would ignite and make everything purge, which is actually a good thing, but not when you can read braille. Oninite. We have class pictures next week.
Our favorite relationship advice of twenty twenty four so far headlines from New York Times. We've got one, two, three, four, five six Structure's relationship. Yeah, relationship headlines here. I will like the first one, okay, then elaborate on why you like the first one.
Sorry. Learn to give a satisfying apology. Let the person know that you desire their forgiveness, not because you want to whoa, not because you want to wriggle off the hook, but because of how much you care about them. For a show of remorse to be truly effective, it should be focused on the other person's feelings and needs, not your own. I love that, especially being a people pleaser, I might as well throw myself on the ground and start crying as well.
I like that too, where it's like, don't just say it to say sorry, because you're going to say right, actually mean it, and there's so much I got to say it, Like there's so much power in just saying sorry. Like at one point, you know, as somebody who clearly was in we've talked about it, we get it, and it's you were in mad relationships, but like I was just I would purposely not say sorry because I didn't
respect the person. And I didn't I was like, I don't even care if you're mad, I'm not gonna say sorry like I am. But now, like being with someone that you respect, like saying sorry has so much power, and like then I have to remember that too, like when someone like if Steve says sorry to me, accept the apology because don't just like keep fighting. Like that should be like a fire, like it ignites the fire and I don't be the one that we are worried about from it.
Like Lee, I was having a discussion with a very successful businessman and he told me, I said, what is your biggest piece of advice for why you've had so much success, And he said, I know when to say.
I love that. Yeah, but here's one that I liked. Inject some playfulness into financial conversation.
I don't think there's anything funny about that.
WHOA, you don't want to put dress up as a bank teller and come and make some deposits.
This is about financial conversations. This isn't sex talk.
You can make anything sexual if you want to lighten.
Oh okay, well what does it say?
It says Megan McCoy is the superfessor in the Personal Financing Planning department at Kansas City against the University. It's a mistake not to only ever discuss the bad stuff. A couple of times a year, she said. Her and her husband buy a lottery ticket, go on a date, and spend their time fantasizing about what to do with their millions. That kind of daydreaming can help reconnect you
with your dreams and values. And Tyler Farfetch, I will take this headline and make it not only about financial conversations, because I have definitely you and I have talked about this and I've vented because it is something that I'm very fearful of given my history and relationships where it's like being taken advantage of or certain things or moving into my house and like all those sin of things. So I'm very weary of. You know, I have a pretty you know what I mean, like do certain things
to protect yourself financially, especially when you've been burned. And I say all this to be like, I believe in separate bank accounts, but I also, like Steve and I have a joint bank account where we each contribute a certain amount of money every single month, so we can say for something together, or our house together, and things like that. I think that having fun with any uncomfortable
conversations are great. And I've talked about this before, Like Steve and I joke and like have like white trash names for each other. He's Tommy and I'm Linda, And when I'm acting up, I'm Landa and he's like, oh here goes Landa again. Crazy Landa's fucking all for Rocker and it makes me laugh. Instead of him attacking me personally, it's like attacking an alter ego, and so then it
just diffuses a situation and it becomes comedic. So I think whether it's something uncomfortable, like financial talk or anything that's going on in your household that is not a conversation you want to have bring some levity to it, whether it's an alter ego or dress up or whatever you want.
But this thing said spend their time fantasizing about what they would do with their millions, You're like thinking about what you'd really been doing in the mid mar.
Yeah, it's like I just think like bringing some lightheartedness
to like difficult conversations is good for anything. We talked about that earlier on the phone this week, is that instead of meeting something with resistance and being so like annoyed by it, like just flip the paradigm and be like, all right, I'm gonna laugh at this and let me see if laughter helps get me through it, because getting frustrated is also Like I think about this, like stress is such a big cause of cancer, and I don't have to tell you as someone who's went through this,
like with cancer, it's like I don't want to infect my bin. Was so much stress that.
I know, and I I'm struggling right now.
Right, and so it's like we need to help each other constantly by reminding one another that stress is like the number one killer. And you know, I hear what these fados died and have a heart attack. It's you know, forty or this, and I'm like, oh my god, I'm forty two. I don't have heart Like we just need.
To calm down. I have a funny one about this number four. To strengthen your bond, read aloud to each other. Through the act of reading, we are transmitting emotions, we are transmitting affection. I tried reading Jarrett all last night about Taylor Swift's like little mash up about Travis and her and the year anniversary, and he was like, Babe, I got it. They're in love. I got you. I
got it. I'm like, no, what eighty seven and eighty nine and my my My Mary's song and like the crinkle of an eye, like He's like, babe, yeah, yep, yeah, yeah, So I disagree. I was reading to him last night. Sure it was all Instagram, but you know he wasn't going for it.
This is very funny then, because Steve says to me, he goes, we're watching the local news and he goes, I could do that, Like what could you do? He goes I could be a news anchor. He goes, okay. He goes and goes, look how easy this is. They're just reading a teleprompter and go okay. I said, so let's go ahead. I go, let's download the telepromp ter ab and walk my house. I do too. I'm up. I had craved it for practice for you, but it
is a great way to practice. I remember when I first started out any future broadcasters out there, I was told this, and it really helped me read everything out loud.
Yeah, my dad says that, Yeah.
Mal, anything that you see a sign out there, it just helps to read it out louds to step. I downloaded the telephone drab, uploaded an old script and this fucking guy nailed it. And I was like, god damn it. And you know, his voice used the right inflection, and I was like I needed him to mess up, so I kept like changing the speed to go faster. He was keeping up. I was like, oh my god, this is like he was actually really good. So Steven on the local news.
My problem is now I read everything in like a children's book voice. Like guilt or pressure to get your partner take action rarely works. Experts said, like I was getting my nails done the other day and my girl was like, oh, flip the what is it? Not astrology, but flip your reading or whatever the day? The reading I don't know of the day, and I read it like sparkling tauruses. They love this day the most because it brings them all the sun and light they could ever needs.
What else we like on here or anything? These are all great squabbling over household clutter. Focus on function. I also think delegating responsibilities. I hate to cook, It's not my thing. Steve loves to cook. Steve hates doing laundry. So the trade off is I do laundry, Steve cooks. Find the things that you guys and relationships and maybe if you're not in a relationship. I was talking about this today with my sweet Donna facialists.
Yeah made about you, Yeah we're I made it about me.
Sorry Donna. She had a lot of extractions to do. She was busy. She probably wasn't listening. Oh my god, speaking up a lot. Not listening again. We just got to have them on the podcast. We talked about Steve and Jered.
We do, we ran, We're gonna it has to happen.
We're gonna give you guys are sick of hearing us anyways, I'm sure you're interested in hearing them. But the other day just kept going. I was talking and I was like, I need to just kept going uh huh, yeah, uh huh, Like after four on Hans and yeah, I go, are you just saying uh huh and yeah, and you're not he goes uh huh. I was like, well, there you go. Sometimes you just gotta uh huh and yang way through the conversation. So I'm deaf.
I can't even say uh huh. Everything now with me is why what was that? I can't hear shit? I can't and I when I well, we've discussed it. Air plugs all the time, when I work out, when I sleep, I'm shoving the wax in. Also we wear an eye of beast shoving the wax in. I am going to make an appointment to get the stuff out and see if that helps.
Can we go together because I feel like probably, I mean, I'm not to that I'm deaf to agree, but I what'd you say? No, I'm just dud I would love to do that wax situation.
I would love you too. It's gonna be gross. Okay, so Ryan said we are good to wrap and that we should let everyone know will be off next week but back in two weeks.
Can you imagine how many things will have to say after two weeks?
Hopefully it'll be a lot more uplifting than this up with people.
Turn that round side. What do you learn today? Kids? If you've made it to the very end, you are causes cancer. Fan stress causes cancer. Be playful in your relationships. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Okay, love you guys.
Bye.
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