Episode 114: The Sidelines With Kim Kardashian

Good morning, good evening, and good night. Welcome everybody to the Calm Down Podcast. We are taking this on a Monday morning, and I'm gonna tell you what right now, I switched my coffee maker from coffee beans to espresso beans, and I am cracked out. I don't even know if that's appropriate to say cracked out? Did you really? I just am so hyper. Yeah, So you can change out

the beans and the thing. But as a former barista, it's very easy for a guy like me, you know, to just toggle back and forth between the coffee and this spress. So I am now drinking espresso over ice and this is crazy. We we just pre recorded our our I was about to call it time out. I can be put in time out. We recorded our what's it called pregame show? Oh Jesus okay, which I came to yper we if you guys want to know, this is not an act. How we are right now on

the show. Yesterday was not so McGhee. We were in l A for our rams game write it down, that's so McGhee, ding ding um. And I had a chance to come see bring your Friend to Work day Carissa at the pregame show. So I went to the pregame show and there was a lot happening. But I will say, you guys are a well choreographed routine. Like Greg and I were dying literally America. They throw you out there in front of millions of people and they're like Greg said,

I'm having a full blown convo with Chrissa. Hey what are we doing? Hey? Everybody, welcome back to He's like, I didn't know what I was doing. I was like, I didn't have a ne earpiece. So you guys, real quick story. I get there, there's everybody coming in. It's great. I haven't seen everybody in a while. Like a lot of stuff is happening. Blah blah blah, Am I wearing the right bra Am I not all the things? I

look at Chris, and I was like, I didn't. So the show is so great and they definitely like, you know, give you suggested copy. And I had worked Dallas games for the past. By the way, hold on, I'm gonna call it twenty second time out here. I'm Chris Webber, and we do have time out available. You and I are both so jacked. Okay, we're recording this morning. Usually we do it in the afternoon. We're gonna have to audible and always record this podcast in the morning. Hyper

mc hyper. And so you just jumped from the thought about Greg. So now we're going to your script, so I will set go ahead. Sorry what she's talking to? No, no, no, you're You're doing great, sweetie, You're doing great. Okay. So Aaron, as we all know, is normally on location in a different city doing sidelines of a game. So the game where she comes to Los Angeles and she's doing the Rams Cowboys game yesterday, everyone gets so excited. And I say this in the most respectful way. It's like Lady

Diana without the Chrismer or the great. Well, no, but the pop or the man is swarming and it's crazy. Okay, that's enough. I'll tell the story here, Okay, Okay. So it's like just doting and Aaron and I do not like to be doated on okay, where it's like, let's let us just do our own thing. And it's a lot of us, but we are. We get so excited when she's in studio because she's never in studio. Okay, now you're on set with the boys next door. You're about to do your lead into the Cowboys piece. Go.

So it's really great. This suggested copy is wonderful. But I had just not been I didn't know that Mike McCarthy had said what we were saying on air. So we had all We talked to Dan Quinn. I had great stuff from him. I just looked at Chris in a panic because this is her show heard Turf, and I was just like, I who ordered this? I don't know this? And I was like, I want to put in my own thing. Well, I decided to do it.

Thirty before I go on, my best friend runs in hell or high water into the control room, changed the script. We're in break. They are counting me down, and I know she's back there, like it's the Muppet Show, and she's like rah rah rah rah rah, changing the script and I'm like, what the hell is gonna come up

on the prompter. I'm Ron Burgundy, and so I'm started to panic, and they're changing out my earpiece because I have a different earpiece and I can't hear anyway because my nose is plugged, and I'm like, you guys, I need to see the prompter because I know my best friend is back there, and she's like, changes script. And they all ended up working out, but we were like a freaking monsoon in the studio yesterday. When you left.

Everyone's like, wow, that's what you guys are like all the time, and I was like, no, because here's the thing. It's really important for me to write my own scripts because it's what you're saying, it's your voice. And so there's times periodically we're like because things changed, somebody else

has to throw copy into the prompter. To Aaron's point about Ron Burgundy, if you don't know what you're in there and it's come, it's it's your funk, because it's it's now for anyone that wants to get a TV You know this where you're like, oh my god, it's called like well look at me, and pretending like I know, it's like a cold read or whatever insert you know, different types of things that they say it is, so

it comes up and you're like reading it in real time. Anyways, I just thought it was important for it to be in her own voice, but you put your own twist on it. It ended up working out. I couldn't change it it all. It was all fine. Harry was away and I guess I wait, I didn't even know. Wink Martindale was not available for comment though. So Week five was fun because we had you in studio. But then also you went and did the game, of course, which

the Rams Cowboys game. Uh, so many different things. What was a takeaway from that matchup? Holy crap Cooper Rush holding it down and holy cow Rams offense. We gotta figure this out? Ye yep, yep. You all so had a situation. So Jarrett and Steve, you got them sideline passes to the game, So family came. Jared, Steve came to the game. So much fun those two. You know, Steve obviously knows his way around, so by because his best friend Matthew. But now they're down on the field,

and I love my husband so much. He just any situation, and I guess it's like the athlete in him. Hey, you know, pregame, He's literally saying to Steve like they are ten year old boys. I didn't even tell you this. They're behind the thing, and I just sit behind the barrier where all the fans have to wait, and I was like, screw it. Like Kevin had his family out there, Greg had his family. So I just said, Jared, Steve,

come on out here, no problem. They just walk out there, perusing the sideline, perusing there at the fifty yard line, you know, talking to the president of the Rams, just standing there. Jared's like, hey, let's try to get a ball. No, you're not going to get a ball, Like, get over here, this is crazy, You're not getting These are called sideline passes, not fifty yard a knock it off, Like get over here,

stay here, kidding. So they're walking, We're just chilling, and then I start seeing security and I'm like, hey, Jared, and Jared's like telling talking to Steve all about it whatever. So then they go up in there with Kelly and she was so great to have him in there, and kept thinking about her that whole game. And anyways, Steve stays up at the suite. Jartt knows, I got we gotta get out. We've got We're so important. We have security to get us out where we have to go

out as a group, like it's just the way. We have a choreographed So I never worry about my husband because he just figures it out. He freaking figures it out in his stadium. He's lived in one forever, you know, obviously playing. So he texts me probably with like two minutes left in the game, and he's like, Hey, I am on my way down to the field. I found our friend who's going to bring us down. Great. I see the bubble going, see the bubble going. I'm with

Kim Kay. I just rolled my eyes. I'm like, I'm sure you are, okay whatever, relaxed. Didn't even know she was there. I guess she was on the Jumbo tron YadA YadA game. That's all the text says is, I'm with Kim Kyah. I'm with Kim Kay okay, casual okay. So I walk down to our table Jillian, who we love and and is obviously a friend of the show, is obsessed with Kim Kardashian. And I said to Mark, oh my god. Jared says he's coming down to the field and he's with Kim, and She's like, oh my god,

I'm going to die. All of a sudden, I looked to the left and I see Kim and her kids walking out on the field, and I go, Jillian, look, and then what else do I see my husband walking with one of the kids, pointing things out on the field. What are you doing? What? What? What's happening. Jillian's like, I'm going to die, and she like yet She's like, and then you know, Jared's doing the wave over hy big, come on over, come on over and say Hi, I'm shop bothering her and her kids, and oh excuse me,

Mr Security. Then this guy, you know, he's just taking it in, pointing out to the kids. Okay, they're just waiting for Jalen Ramsey. Yeah, they're gonna get get over here, get over here, get your how wait bridge the gap? Did he just run into her in the elevator or she was with the group, your guy's mutual friend And

then they all ended up down on the field. She was with our mutual friend who works for the RAMS and was bringing her down and obviously she was a gas all the things, and Jared needed help coming down. So she was just like, hey, come meet us in my sweet and you know, Jared, Hey, Jared Stole, nice to meet you. How you doing. My wife loves Skims, fan of the show. You know. In fact, can we increase the quantity amount? Because every time I go to

buy something, it's sold out. I mean, Jared, would you mind actually getting your friend online one because this is a very popular site, a constantly sold out. And tell you this, Babe, she's so nice. She is so nice. And then which I've bird and I've met her, you know before, and she was lovely. And I appreciate when people are like that that have so many people in their face, you know, me being royalty and coming into

the studio. I get it. But so and we I have all this where stuff at RAMS were stuff that I give out to fans at the end of the game. And he's like, Babe, come give your stuff to Kim. I'm sure she'd love it. Come on, cute, get in the car, Get in the car right now. We're not going to bother Kim, you know, get in the car. She probably would have appreciated it. As a fellow female entrepreneur and a clothing line. She probably would have loved him. I love so much j Kim. You're trying to make

a business work. You know, how's your jet? I mean those seats. I'd love to film, babe, she'd love the gene jacket. Give it to her. I'm sorry. She's in her like she's not wearing a onesie. And you know what this guy's doing. He's looking at the like just Jared or the New York Post. He goes, yeah, baby, oh yeah. She was wearing those glasses, you know, all in black, like like he knows like he's part of the You know, I'm waiting for like Chris Jenner to

show up and pick him up today. I'm waiting for US Weekly to have the headlines Pete Davidson, move over, new man in Kim's life, you know, in the background waving, he's looking for himself and aliens in the background filming it. She's like, oh my god, I want a picture by Just Jared, you mean just Charing. That's the new headline of that tabloid. What a guy, though, leave it to him to be like casual about the whole thing and like showing Chicago or say whoever it was around, what

a beauty. So Week five again, NFL. For those of people, we know we have a mixed a mixed audience of people that love football don't love football. Oh my god, I'm not even this is a tease and I have to tell you off fair because I'm We're gonna try to get her on as a guest. Pete, my sweet stage manager, told me that there is a woman that's a huge fan of the show. And I'm not gonna say her name right now because maybe she doesn't want everyone to know she's a huge fan, but she is

a fan of the show. I'm gonna try to get her on as a guest. I almost died and went to heaven. All dogs go to heaven. Yes, okay, but we can just give clues. Okay, okay, okay, worked on and two of the most famous shows in the world. Um, she is a fucking Badass's close but no, but just as important anyway, she's a fan of the show. She's a fan of the show. No, it's not it's a behind the scenes, but like there, she could be front

and center. Anyways, the point is is that an Anatomy producer. No, Shonda Rhymes, No, she's no. But they're getting warmer the lady. That's nice houses in the in the Reese Witherspoon movies, Nancy Myers. No, that's not the director. But now you're getting very warm. You are. You're good at this game. By the way, Okay, Rita hey, that's Rita Wilson and Rita Hanks are not the correct answers. That is incorrect.

But we will continue this game offline because then we will reveal in fact, you guys can keep guessing two of the most famous shows in the world. This firm has been a very important part of No. But we'll take it offline. We'll throw it on the on the I G and then if I confirm if she has her red receipts on if I can confirm and get her as a guest. It will be so many questions, so little to do, so little time. Yes, you do, alright, So the continuing down our list of things because we

only get so much time together. Uh wait, hold on, you guys. Unlike last week, I we actually wrote these things down. Oh I gotta rank. Okay the word portal, Okay, I hate that word. The second you tell me I got a log into the mortal, we got a problem. I don't remember the password. Now we're resetting the password. I even put the passwords to my things in the note section of my phone. Shouldn't do that. As someone who's had their phone hat, it's like, this is I'm

asking for trouble. This is what I do. This is crazy, this is what I do. And this is where I get in trouble. Because I've had my phone hack. I think. I'm like, oh, I'm onto you hackers. I'm going to not use a capital letter where you're supposed to use the capital a letter in the notes section. So then when I go to log into the portal, now I'm like, was there a capital here? Was there not a capital here? Was that at signed really a dollar sign? So now

I'm confused. Now I'm waiting for the new emails to reset the password. Then you put the new password and it says password already used. It's too much. Why can't we just use the face I D on everything. I'll tell you what the face I D though. When it says face not recognized. We know it's been a long week. That's like me and clear when they're like, we'd like to use your eyes and my eyes are so tired they don't recognize them. Ship, it's only week five weight

going back to the portal. The other thing, Yeah, the pass code is annoying, remembering like did I say it? Did I not? The other thing is when you're in a place where it's not loading quick enough. So all you fertility i v F girls out there, go to your portal to find out if your embryo made it or your fucking pregnancy tests. And we're loading, we're loading, and I can't feel my entire body or we even have it out here at cedars, like go to see

what your brain scan in is loading default? What I mean? Sorry, the website's experiencing some troubles right now. Now is the time that the website. Yeah, well exactly, and this is crazy, Okay, so I'm gonna go now. We were talking about alterations, and I was proud of you for actually sending your stuff to be altered. I went and had a lot of alterations this week, and I started feeling like crap on Thursday, where I was like, oh boy, what do I have here? Little sinus infection? But I was just

tired and I wasn't sleeping well and all that. So I went to the Alterations place a couple of times, got a couple of things done, and uh, I was trying it on in front of the lady to make sure it looks good. And then she's like, I we talked about it. It's hard enough going to the alterations place. It's hard enough getting stuff done, picking it back up, and then you got to go try it on. I don't want to take my clothes off and put it on.

Everybody's standing there looking and then when they start giving you feedback, this looks great. But you know what I do. I'd add a little self tanner when you wear this, no, she said that. Or I'd put a little concealer on because it looks like you're breaking out on your chin. Now, you know what, I am here for you to take it in on the sides and help my boobs not look so saggy. What I'm not here is for commentary on Yes, I need to go out in the sun,

but ma'am, I'm inside studying. And by the way, it's overcast in the South Bay. Okay, I do have Oh when these bags under my eyes, I'm not fucking sleeping because I'm tired. But you know what, I need this taken in and the legs to be hanged. Thank you? Well, I don't need that. Lock it up? What I mean? What are you a light? You know? Is there a comic card where you can fill out all the things I didn't ask you for? Don't make you go to

that yelled page. Anyway, we have we know someone who is very close to both of us and spends a lot of time in our respective houses, and I just love when she's like, you look tired. I'm like, oh, thank you. I didn't know that. But you know what, hey, look I always love some constructive feedback. Sure, okay, sure,

why not? So just so you guys know, if you're not watching on YouTube, we Aaron and I We make a list and we send it to our producers throughout the week of different things we want to talk about. So the next thing on our list is getting guilted into buying things. This is where I insert story. So I grow your facialist because I used the same one.

Did she guilt you into every single serum, and all of a sudden, You're like, why is my I was gonna say, pocketbook, there you go, bank account, So pocket book, jesus, what I swear to gut? Aaron's like, I guess she's always done it. I've just become more aware of it. She has these phrases like she's on I love Lucy and like if we go back in time my pocketbook. No, but we love our facialist. I can't afford her anymore. I'm I've gotta I can only go. I gotta save

it my allowing exactly. But yeah, we end up getting seventy five products of things we don't need. Then I leave the products in the car forget they're even in the car, and they'm like, hey, where did that exfoliating scrub go? Meanwhile, I'm now using the foot exfoliating scrub that have in my shower on my face and ripping it off. Okay, have you ever had a situation where you go to so I went and picked up a gift for't I'll say so. Tony Gonzalez his wife October.

We call her Toby affectionately. She's obviously born in October. Her name is October. He wanted to get her this gift. She loves this certain store, so I was like, oh, it's in l A. They now live in Austin. I was like, I'll go pick it up for you. Well, this store is not for the faint of heart. It is then that it's so nice. It's jewelry, it's so nice, but like you gotta have a good pocket book in

your words. Good. Yeah, So I pick up the gift for her, and then while I'm there, the woman who works there, who was so nice, she's always been wonderful to me. I was like, oh, I should you know. I was like, I love all this stuff. I love all this stuff. And I was like I like that, I like this, I like that, and she's like, oh, you know, I'll make sure. I'll give you a discount if you want to get that. And then it's like

now I'm now I'm I feel like I'm stuck. I feel like I have to buy something because she's so sweet. She's hooking, you know, Tony up last minute for this gift to make sure Toby. She's like, we'll send the gift out. She's doing so much to ensure that this gift gets to Toby. On time. Then now I feel guilty, like I can't just walk out and not buy something. So and it's not even your gifts, not even my gifts. So now I'm there and I'm like, so, I'm like, oh I like that, and she's like, oh, I can

give it to you for that much not much. Meanwhile, I'm like, I shouldn't be buying any of this stuff. Somehow I walk out of this store thousands and thousands of dollars later. I'm not kidding. I'm not gonna be able to pay my mortgage, I know. And I'm like, and now I can't take it back. My necklace is great, my earrings are great. But I'm like, I send a pick for me. I can't take this back. Now I'm guilty. Now I'm literally having to be like, what do I need?

What tags are on clothes that I need to take back to a for that's a damn good salesman. She she was a great salesman. But I don't know if you guys ever had that pleae tell us your stories, because I didn't need to buy any of this stuff. I just felt guilty because because then the discount. But it's a discount on things I didn't even need. And now I have all of this money for dinner tonight, pretty woman insert line here. But I don't have all the money because now I'm broke because I just said,

all this money on things I didn't need. And I need to know if anyone else feels this pain of being guilted into buying things and then you're stuck with them now. I mean they're beautiful things, don't get me wrong,

but I didn't need them. I didn't need them. Sounds like you need more swipe up swipe downs, and I would have a personal code to this door swie alib seriously, So that was my like, And I'm trying to do better and put myself on allowance because I have a tendency to spend again money where I don't need to spend money. So I'm like, no, this is not the time. We're also working really hard impending, which by the way,

oh well that's story for another time. We're almost out of time, so Aaron and I make a list of all the things that we want to talk about, because, as you can tell from getting to know us in this podcast, we are frenetic and all over the map, and if we don't write them down. We will forget bluetooth. Valet combos is the next business. You and I are

on the phone. I'm going to get a facial or something and we're going to work out whatever it is talking talking talking about your game, for talking about the Broncos Polts game, all this stuff. You know. Phone calls are for all the things that you can't say in text, and you don't want anyone to, you know, stumble upon in a letter to one another. So, dear John, I'm talking to you. I get out of the car. The car is still in range where I'm going on and on and on a lot like I do on the podcast.

And then I realized that you haven't said anything. You haven't even given me an affirmation of uh huh or whatever, and I'm like, hello, the I look down at the phone. The phone says car play, so it's connected to the car. The valet where I was has heard this rant for the last two minutes because he has not left with the car and I'm still in range. God knows what he heard. And I then I click it over to I know I came out of my mouth and it's the reason why I said it to you on the

phone and not over text. Um any who oh yeah, that happens all the time. I'm gonna be honest, I'm sick of this bluetooth ship. Mine is not going well. Like I'm in I got it. I don't like you want to talk about hands free and getting into WRECT. That's gonna cause me knock on wood too, because you're like, hello, can you oh you're on my phone? Like I'm worried

about that versus like am I merging? I don't remember if we've told this story on here, but you also had a situation where we were on a NFL mandated called with the entire like ing the ball broadcasters Eron's getting out of our Carbody's on, but goodell, you know Aron's in the car. The bluetooth disconnects, and you say to the valet driver, which is then heard by everyone because it disconnects. She says, I'm just on this dumb call. No I didn't say, Tom, I said I'm on this

really fun conference call. But I was in a sarcastic sense. So and then right, you guys all know this, like my phone just blew up, shut up your fuck. Oh my Chris is like Chris and didn't even text me because she fucking knew I was mortified and sweating out of areas that don't produce sweat. It was a time. There's nothing worse. And you've talked about this more being on a conference called where you mute and you go

to the bathroom. I have been doing that, well, not the bathroom part, but like you're on a lot of yeah, and so you mute and then you're like, you know, you go and do other things. I'm yelling at WILLI sit, let me give you your medicine. I'm doing everything but listening to this call. And then at what point do you think to yourself, oh, fuck, maybe this thing is not muted yet. So if anyone's listening to this and we've been on a conference call, most likely as I'm not,

I'm not listening. I'm not listening, and I'm hoping that I talked about last week with my comparsons hearing my dog park. A couple of weeks ago, we were on a conference call with Tom Brady and we're all on it, and I'm downstairs where I am now, and our house was, you know, getting cleaned and vacuumed, and she placed a dining room chair very loudly on the wooden floor, and I could hear it, and I forgot I didn't have

my phone on mute. And Tom's going on and on about all the changes on the onsetsive line and it sounds like we had a massive earthquake in California. And he just goes, WHOA, And I was like god, and I told her and I was like, fucking Tom just heard like it's shaggy. It wasn't me. It was all a time. Let me tell you. But yeah, the conference

calls the bluetooth. And again, whenever we tell these stories or going these like rants, please include your guys has experienced on them, because I'd like to feel like I'm not alone. Last thing, and I forgot to mention this earlier. Again because I've had so much espresso. My mind's even more frenetic than it usually is. I we have like three minutes left, so Week five the traveling thing. And again disclaimer on all of this, I'm not complaining about traveling.

I of having jobs. I'm so but we just know you guys can relate with traveling. So we getting so thankful to be employed. We get all the things. Let me tell you. So I land in Denver. Another colleague of mine is on the plane with me, so we're like talking. I get my stuff down from the overhead. But I had this one moment when I got on the plane. It's the overheads are full size on one side of the plane, but the small, little baby ones on the other where you can only fit you know,

of sucking pair of socks, right. But I put my jacket over there because there wasn't room on the other side. And I remember thinking to myself, Chris, I remember that your jackets on that side, your luggage on the other side. Remember this, Like I've made a concerted effort to tell myself this. So I sit down whatever. A couple hours of the flight goes by. I'm chatting with the colleague, pull my my luggage down. I go, oh, jump in the car with me, like we don't need to car.

Jump in the car with me. I'm communicating with our pickup like, oh, I'm at door by to be, will be there in one second. Packet. All of a sudden, I'm like, my jacket, my jacket. I saved up my pennies for this jacket. Is this a jacket like most jackets? I'm like, you know what the old me would be like, I'll leave it. No, we're not doing that. We're not just going around leaving things around. Okay, we got it. I've spent this money on this stuff I didn't even need.

We're getting jack, going to borrow in at some point to we're getting the jacket. So I'm like, i gotta go back through security. Okay, I wasn't a wear jacket, and you're just lying and you don't want to hurt my feelings. Okay, never's go get that jacket. I would I would definitely would have went back and got the wear jacket, got this jacket. So now I'm at the delta counter and this sweet woman had so much patience because now I'm like waiting behind the ten people that

are actually checking in. I'm like, oh my god, I love my jacket on because I'm past security at this point. So I'm at the ticket desk and the whole thing. And she couldn't have been nicer, couldn't have been sweeter. But now I'm back in line, back through security. I'm now waiting at the gate. Is the plane gone? Is the knock gone? Hours are going by and I'm still two hours because now I gotta wait. T s A is a little tricky. A little tricky, am I? How

about this move? Are you at the north end? Are you at the south end? And then they really tricky at the west and it's east. You know, I might as well have been at the north pole by the time that I got back to the hotel where I'm supposed to be. And I was like, uh, you know who likes to go through security once? Little alone twice? And I was like, anyways, I was very proud of myself. I got the jacket. I was appreciative of the Delta

individuals that helped me along the way. But I like remember getting in the car afterwards and I was like, Carissa, this is where my dad's voice comes in my head. Before you get off the plane. Check everywhere. It's like when you're in New York, right, and like anything in the Tiger, the whole thing. So it's like, oh my god. Anyways, So that's my travel story of the week. Is double security, double your pleasure, Do not double your fun. That was

no fun. I have a quick one because I just saw it here on video when I just held up my hand. Thanks so much to the lady who tweeted um about well because the alterations lady came bot to me, it comes back full circle. I felt like ship all week. I knew I needed some self tanner. I was showing my arms the color that I was wearing, this pink, would be really good with self tanner. But yeah, they

tell you to put it on, which I did. But I always wash my hands, and I wash my hands a lot, especially because I've been blowing my nose so much and I'm, you know, kind of sick and whatever. So this lady tweeted, I love my girl, She's so great, But did anyone notice her hand is a totally different color than her arm? Very very true. That is a fail by me. But I just don't know what you're supposed to do. Should I have had Jillian put on

Lindsey low hand? This is what I always say with with self tanner, out in the hands, because you do you have to wash your hands or that on the palm and not in the palm of your hand. That's a different expression. But yeah, you need to you need to put it on the best set of your tand that's something I'll learn for weeks six and as lady Gaga said, just hold my hand, Come busy my handle. Calm Down with Aaron and Chrissa is a production of

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