Episode 112: Erin Causes A Scene

you dealing with this travel? I look like absolutely like our boss would say, dog food besides dog crap? How are you doing? How is it going? I have so much to talk to you about. Five. It's week five, No, which is nuts. That is nuts. So two things that I have cautioned myself not to talk about on this podcast when it comes to football season is A saying I'm tired because fuck me, Like I, We're so lucky to do this shot. Why don't we asked for this? Why?

And B is complaining about traveling because it's like, Yo, when COVID happened, you and I bitched all day long, all we wanted to do was be on an airplane. All we wanted to do was work. So I say this, how do you feel? I will say this, I am getting really good at drinking a lot of water because I am not great at drinking water. Welcome everybody to the Calm Down Podcast to get through if you can't, if you're not watching on YouTube, I don't know how

you consume our podcast, but we appreciate you consuming it. Nonetheless, Aaron has a blanket wrapped around her like she is just finished a marathon and she's wrapping a blanket around because she's our hypothermia. I have this the best thing as your bond because I put the air conditioning on in this garage and I'm freezing as well. So anyways, it's week five. I am hi, baby, thankful to be here. Oh Jared, Hello, He can't, he says hello. Anyh Yeah.

So I'm getting a lot better about drinking water, and I'm becoming very good at bringing anyone has recommendations for hydrating masks. The Neutral Gina has been my favorite so far. It's the one that, like you open the packet, it comes in a blue packet and it's dripping the liquid or out of it, and then I just rub it all over my neck in my hands. So that's very hydrating packet. Uh yeah, but yeah, no, I'm just happy to be here, you know. So you look great? How's

the packing going? Anything new? Updating with the pack Absolutely terrible. We we we checked in Dominique, so you'll hear a lot of us. Well you've heard a lot of friends of the podcast and listeners. Jillian Gregory travels with Aaron. Dominique Diez travels with me, and she's the CUTI cutie, just like Jillian. Couldn't ask for better people to be like stuck on an airplane, had the luggage loss. We will get to that in a second. We go to check in and Dominique does my hair and my makeup.

So this poor little thing maybe weighs ninety pounds, wet her lug. She always has to check a bag in because it has all the ship that I need because not a natural beauty. And so we go early. So she checks her bags and she looks at me and she's like, are you going to check a bag? And I was like, no, I never check a bag, and she goes. Because we left on Tuesday and we were coming home till Friday and I had to go to

Chicago and then Cincinnati. She goes, you have everything you need in that suitcase, and I was like, yep, and that's good. Bad or indifferent? I am the Queen of rolling. Everything's wrinkled. The shoe is like folded like this because it's crammed in there. I don't know, but I just can't check. So so guess what happens. I don't. Here's the portion of the program when we talk about airplanes. When I get that Delta notice, which I appreciate. In

this case, it was American. That's why they lost the luggage I do. I'm not happy with American and either or you will get to that in a second. But Delta will tell you, like your zone is boarding. Well, American doesn't extend that courtesy. So or maybe they do. I just don't have the app. I don't know they do. Or well, either way, every plane is different. The bag that fit on the overhead in one plane because I'm connecting, does not fit in the other one. I have to

check the bag. Now, I'm like, well, you know what's gonna happen the second you have to check. It's gonna get lost. It's just the way it works. So we land in Cincinnati, coming from Chicago. It's one o'clock. I'm not complaining. I'm just telling the story. You're sitting there and the bags are going around, and now they're dwindling. Now there's five bags. Now there's two bags. Now there's now. The only feeling that makes it better is you look

at what time is it in Cincinnati? About twelve thirty earlier. Sure, you're looking around and you're like, at least it's not just me standing here. There's like twenty five people. So we're all like, okay, wherever these you know, gate checked bags were all in use together. Anyways, time goes by, it's now one o'clock. They say the belt is broken. These are broken. Mine are broken. Why time's your production meeting? It's at eight o'clock. So I'm like, that's it, Dominique.

And Dominique has her bags because well, the bags that she checked made it, but not me. This one doesn't. Anyways, stay with me, this stories ending. Uh. Finally, I'm like, we're out of here. I'll come back in the morning. I'll come get the bag. Right as I'm walking out, then the bag gets going, We're able to pick it up and keep it moving. But that is a situation where you don't know. Am I going to have to go to the mall and buy some clothes? I am.

You've had it happen. It's dicey, but luckily the luggage made it. I refused to check my bag if I don't have to. But you're very good about sending clothes ahead of time. I'm still not there yet. I just started doing alterations. I'm so proud of you. I've never had my clothes altered unless someone tells me to, and now I'm doing it my own, on my own, like free will, which is the game changer today, the alterations. A sweet little Linda was like. I was like, oh no,

these pants are fine. She's like, no, they're not. I'm like, oh wow, this is like a whole new world areal. See. I don't have the eye for alterations. Like if someone tells me they need to be altered, I'm like, great where I don't know, Like I don't I don't know. I know if something is too short or too big, but I don't know if like you taper it in here, it will help, Like with size of your with I'm sure, I really, But then once you get those Taylor clothes back,

you think to myself, how have I ever lived without this? Sure? But then you realize this ship is expensive? Oh my god? That in dry cleaning? Yeah, how about this movie? Okay, you tell a story, then I'll tell a story. Then you tell a story. Because I've been rambling on and I've been told that I need to be more succinct. Who told you that? I don't know myself as oh that old thing? Um, So here's my story. Um, instead of calling out somebody, I'm gonna call out myself. But

I'm also going to call somebody. Oh. I can't take all the blame. So yesterday we do you like me in the last week. It's not all my fault, but I'll take some of the blame. But it's not. But I we had in twelve o'clock games, so we were able to make a five o'clock flight out of Dallas, which was major because we were home by six o'clock, which was awesome. I'm home by like not even halftime of this Sunday night game, which is is awesome. So but you have to know you get there, it's a

mad dash get to the airport. You would love to get out of your clothes, put on some comfy's, maybe get a cocktail. I got a cocktail dress, Um, get a cocktail, and maybe like a little snacky poo. So we have this nonsense on our wrist, right, we have this like what they call is dak. I am not a doer, I'm a follower. I follow my friends Carissa Constants. They have these great bracelet stacks. I know it's not your mind. Still at the repair shop, I only got

one left that's fits. This is one that you gave me. And I'm not going to say her name because I'm a classy broad. But do not go to the place that we did, because they break and I don't even know if they're real. I'm gonna go ahead and get them all examined. But enough about I lost one of the diamonds in my rings by the way from there. Anyways,

it wasn't real anyways, she didn't lose anything. Oh my god. Okay, so I know that I'm gonna beat right going through t s A. So we're all trying to do it, and you guys have to realize to we're traveling with all men we don't want to be the girl with all the bracelets because then you're the girl blah blah blah blah blah. So I beep and I'm like, I'll just go through the X ray thing and put my arms up in the air. You guys can see it's these and the ladies like, please go on the other side.

She was not having it, so I was like, okay, So I was trying to be nice. I'm so hungry. It's all the things. Hangary. I'm just sitting there and she's like, could someone pad her down? Could someone? And there's Greg and Kevin and I'm like, I'm an embarrassment. Can you guys go? I'll meet you at t G I Friday's. It's fine, We're good. Just go ahead. No, EA will wait, No, no, no, ma'am. I'm trying to get someone to pet you. I'm like, oh shit, finally

I take my shoes off and make it through. We're good. So the Traveling Wilberries, which is like seven of us, are going now to the Admirals Club. I was the Wilberries. Is that a show? I think it's a band. Tom Petty was in the Traveling Wilberries, right George, I think so. I'm sure Rynalds tried exciting anyways of the commodorees. So this group, we're all moving now to the Admirals Club, which I love and I have over you know, I have just about two million miles on American I love

it a lot. I do have the Chase card. I do pay that hefty bill every month, which I don't put anything in that card. The only reason why I have the credit card is to get me in that damn lounge when I do have ten minutes to spare to take a pee, to change my clothes and get a drink. That's all Um, Roy Orberson, Roy Orberson and jeff Lynn from Roy Orbison. Yeah, back to you. I can't say ours. So anyway, angel um comfies and so I get into the Press Club and my card is

not with my number. I have a picture of my card. Nope, you can't. We gotta have the Folasical card. Hungry, I'm tired, I gotta pee. I want to get in my comfanies. I pay whatever it is a month to have this card, ma'am. Please, I just know if you want to talk to my manager right away. We threw the manager line in, so I was like, I caused a little bit of scene.

I go, I'm sucking out of here. I'm sucking out and the boys are like, e A, just stay with that, and I'm like no, I mean, Aren's texting me, I just created a scene. I need to calm down. These are literally her text to me, I just created a scene. I need to calm down. You're very good at governing yourself, though maybe not in the moment, but retroactively. I just knew I had to be out of there. It just makes me mad when you pay that a month, you do. I have a picture of my card. I'll show you

my license. My membership doesn't expire until the twenty three. I know I should have talked to the manager because I probably could have explained it, but by then I've already paid my pants, my flight is boarding. It's like, you know, it doesn't even make sense. So then the sweetest rich gross on our crew runs out of the Admiral's club. He's like, yeah, yeah, you can be my guests, please just come in. So I walk in and it's like Greg's like wow, that escalated almost like I gotta pee.

I just want to change my clothes. I'm hungry, I need something. Anyways, it wasn't all their fault, it was part my fault. I just okay that, like, can you just let us in? This is what this is. It's it's shaming, it's it's don't even what happened to me hard. I just pay that bull ship membership fee every month to get in there, get physical card. I get that. Rules are rules. Okay, that's fine, but let's just do

a little interpretation of the rules. Like me, I pay a lot of money to go to a certain gym, and apparently there's an even nicer membership that you can have for the same gym, but like it's like a special club whatever. So yeah, so I go in as as a guest of Steve because he's a fancy member of that gym, and then you can I mean, my god, it's called I mean, it's called an executive. He goes, oh, I went to go workout. The workout just sitting in

the sun. That's not a workout. You're just sitting there. That's not a workout. You're just sweating. He's like, well, how is it any different than a hot yoga class? And like you're moving you're stretching. He's like, who's to say, I'm not stretching. That's that's by the way. I need to have Jarrett and Steve do a I propose this to them because you and I think that we know all the answers and we like, have you know, solutions to everything. I would love Jared and Steve to give

their perspective on our rationalization on all things. Oh, you go into this fancy whatever Jim they he goes, all you can use a pass for her. So already I'm feeling like I'm you know, I'm in row thirty two B, like I had the membership and on the fancy membership and then the woman full makeup and like at the gym, yeah exactly. I'm like God, I felt like readbev will and so she's like, oh, you can't use the pass

on weekends. So now she's right, and you know what, Steve should have had left with me and he's like, oh, sorry, I can't use the pass on weekend. He would have worked out, and I was like, okay, like the elevator like all ashamed. I was like, okay, I'll just go run outside, but come on, let's just make an exception. I'm a member of the gym. It's the whole thing. Anyways, whatever,

it's fine, make an exception, you're whatever. You are also texting Ryan and I are wonderful producers saying that you had a story about texting the wrong emoji or something to a colleague. Tell me go, yeah, there's something you'll tell me before some things you want. This is one I need to hear. The other day, I was texting We're on a group text with myself and my coworkers, and one of my coworkers asked me something or sent me an article, so it was off the group text.

So I did the laughing emoji. But have you guys ever had where you're doing the you know, repeated emoji and then your finger slips to another one. You have the old finger slip like Malik, And it could have been a lot worse, but it was like laugh, laugh, laugh lf lap heart and he's my co O. And I was like, I got sensitive because I was like, oh my god, oh my god. And so immediately I wrote,

I wasn't hurting you. By the way, I just want you to know I wasn't hurting you because I don't know, like we're a new crew, and I don't want somebody to think I'm like, laugh, laugh, laugh, heart, what's that? What's happening here? Now? I think that's even worse. You're saying you don't like the guy you're retying. Did I retract the heart? When we came down to the meeting room, I told everybody about the heart, and I said before before he came in, and so I was like, hey, guys,

so this is what happened. I'm feeling really awkward. And they're like, oh okay. And then he came in and he's like, hey, guys, what's up. And I was like, so I'll tell you what's happened. I feel so awkward and I've told everyone about it, and he was, oh my god, classic air. Okay. Yesterday We're on the plane and Kevin is behind me and I've told everybody this story and Kevin's behind me and I texted him something. He texted back laugh, laugh, laugh, kiss, and he goes,

oh my god, I just did it. And I said, I'm texting Ryan and Chariss are right now and telling them because it's like one slip of the finger, and you don't want for somebody to think like you did a slip of the finger on a mass text chain with with with the water emoji, and if anyone doesn't know what the water emoji is, we're not going to explain it because we're family friendly here. But if you don't know what it is, she responded back with the water emoji with a lot of people on this chain.

I was like, Daron, you don't know what that means. And she's like I don't. And I'm like, don't use it in this situation. Seriously. I might be late to the alteration and some fashion says, but you're late to the whole party. Respond to the party on emoji's like I'm like, oh my god, don't use that egg plant. This is crazy. I'll say, you're hungry. I did it was the water one? Oh god, my face ship anyhoo, there's that the old slip of the finger. It gets

you every time. That's too good, God, it's so good. Um so I in balancing. Listen, not everybody does what we do for a living. But there's mothers out there. There's people that have multiple jobs, they have, you know, dealing with their relationships in life and other things. I realized not everybody is juggling traveling and and being on conference calls with players and all that. But all of you at home that are great enough to listen, know what it's like to juggle your life, your work, all

the things. I had a story that I had to tell you the other day. So we get on these conference calls with the coaches, the offensive coordinators, the defensive coordinators, and the quarterback, and we do that for both teams. And then what I like to do on my own is I like to have a offensive player and a defensive player call me on their own time so I can get information that Kevin and Gregg don't necessarily have,

so I could actually be useful on the broadcast. So this past week, when you're very useful, the Commander's Dallas game Dallas was nice enough to have my comparsons talk to me. Um. Also really funny guy, like he's just hilarious the stuff that comes out of his mouth. He's young, second year in the league, but he's just so refreshing because he says funny, funny ship. So he calls me and as you just experienced Um today when you called me, we got new WiFi in our house and for some reason,

when you walk around the calls dropped. That makes a lot of sense. No, so at one point I thought they dropped. I'm really sensitive when I talked to these guys on the phone because I realized they only have like ten fifteen minutes. You gotta keep it quick, like you're the fifth person they've done an interview with that day, YadA YadA. So I'm running around and like ship, ship, I'm recording it. I'm listening. I'm asking him these questions.

And then Jarrett comes home in the middle of the interview, and how he hears Jarrett and all of a sudden, it's like and I was like, oh my god, and Mike is talking. Put my phone on mute. Put my phone on mute. And then he stops and I go to talk and my phone's muted. So I'm like he's like hello, Hello, and I was like, oh my god, an me hey. So and then in the background you hear the dog and he's like, damn, what kind of dog? You got? A dark dog? And I was like, actually,

he's an eighty pound Golden Retriever. God love him. Know. His dad's home, and I'm like running in and out of the house. It's just like you get it. Your dog's bar is just like yeah. But also, you know when they know you're muting, because it's a lot of ambient noise, mute, ambient noise, mute. I know when you're muting me. And then I think to myself, what's she doing? Is she even listening to what I'm listening? Listening, listening?

I used to do this on voicemails, which I no longer leave voicemails because I don't like when people leave me voicemails. I used to leave a code word at the end of the voicemail. I'd say like kitty cat, and so then the person would call me back and they're like, oh, yeah, I got your voicemail. I'm like, oh, did you what was the code word? And they're like what. I was like, you didn't listen to the voicemail. How the hell did you think of doing this? Where does

this come from? Because I know what I don't do. I don't listen to the voicemoment like, oh, got your voicemail, And then they're repeating everything they already said, Yeah, so leaping, but yeah Eastern Illinois. Oh my god, I'm telling you it's oh which by the way, shout out to Megan. Nice to meet you. Sean Payton's daughter. She was the studio. Yeah, and she was so sweet and she was like, I love your podcast. And then I always feel like whatever

anyone says again, this is apologizing. Whenever anyone says that what they love the podcast, which is so nice, I want to be like, oh, I'm so sorry for wasting your time like they electively or listening to it. But I like feel bad, like I'm sorry. Um, but so she's so sweet, but yeah, so leave a code word. What else do you like to do? The test? Yeah, you got to test these people. I also I kept asking Steve to to lower this, Like poor Steve, by the way, you think that we were like married for

like ten years. Okay, but but I was like, he's so nice. He's like, can I do anything to help you round the house I have. This is my house at home. I I have the keenest eye for something's level. You can't go off a level either, because the level doesn't take into account that the roof might be slanted, not everything. This is what I've learned with all of my different like house at home projects, is not to

be trusted. Yeah, well one to step backwards in the standings, go Broncos by the way this Thursday, Well, I will be saying a lot of people in the Mile High City. I haven't been back since I worked there. How weird is that? I love that you're growing there? Two thou eight. I was thinking I should go in sooner. But anyways, I digress. So I have a very keen eye on

like what's what's straight, what's not on a picture? So I wall papered by kitchen area because I needed a little popular there and then had the picture we hung and it's off it's it's off center. So I was like, Steve, can you fix that for me? And he was like sure, no problem. So I come home yesterday after work is so sweet? How is your day? I walked in the kitchen I was like, did you fix that picture? And he was like yeah, why I go, it doesn't look

like it's fixed. What an asshole? Go? Doesn't look like it's fixed? He goes, Okay, I knew you were going to say that, So I'm gonna tell you right now where the hammers. The hammers in this location and he gives like a full detail full police report he was like, go check out the hand was there? I lived the hammer because she said I was going to fix it in this whole thing. But I'm like, it doesn't look like it's any different. So next time you come over,

you see at that pictures level. But I'm telling you, you you got to set up little chaps and you got to see if these people are actually doing things, not just him, anyone, but I did. I was like, did you pick up that rat? That rat? Still? Oh my god? Speaking of rat, I have to tell you a friend of the show and friend of ours, Jacqueline Quick, who we die for. She texted us yesterday on our group chat with a couple of girlfriends. She said, I'm crying.

I'm screaming. What what happened? Her puppy, z year old now killed a mouse and then her baby brought it inside and yelled, mom, butterfly and it's a dead rat, literally butterfly. And he was so proud to show her. What. Oh my gosh, what are you doing? Was she lights all in his hand? What are we doing to sure? I mean, she's a mother of the year. I'm sure she was fully taking care of that child. I think she said she took a hockey stick and like flung it in a hockey bag for her husband the stunt

that he is to deal with it. So um, yeah, you weren't the only one. At least this mouse looked fresh versus your rat that again looked like astronaut like like my like my under eyes dried up. Not with those muture Gina masks. We love, but telling your ship not an ad but an ad we loved one. What else is happening? Okay, so earlier on the pregame that we record on and that you can listen to on Monday's Ten Minutes of Fun, answer for your questions. We

love all your submission of questions. By the way, so I was talking about Andy Kaufman. Andy Kaufman was a like a comedian that was one of one. It's just he basically took on a life of his own, had all these different care aracters, and Jim Carrey played him. And I don't know if anyone seen Michel. I don't know if that flicks or if it's on Prime. I don't know exactly what platform it's on, but it's fascinating.

I haven't got through the whole thing. But Jim Carrey became Andy Kaufman so much so that he wouldn't he wouldn't like when they called, like you know, cut on set. He would just stay in character. And he stayed in character for so long that even after they were done filming the movie, he couldn't get out of it. And so I haven't finished the story yet, but it's fascinating

because I've never wanted to be an actress. But even like Daniel day Lewis, for example, when he played Abraham Lincoln, he gets so far into character that like he called his wife Mary because that was Abraham Lincoln's wife. And so to stay in character and what that might do to you in terms of psychology of like really getting immersed in a character and not being able to identify who you are versus somebody else. I don't know if

there's any actors or actresses out there. I would love to know that, because I also saw this interview with Mila Kunas and her and Ashton Kutcher are redoing the seventies show they are, yeah, and she was saying how weird it is to now she's Ashton's wife, but they're like back in that same basement, and like she said it's the hardest thing she's had to do because she looks at him as her husband, not like an actor. So the acting world is very interesting to me. I

wish on a few questions, but he's not available. So if there's any great actresses that we we know, I want to know more about that world, because I can't imagine that it wouldn't like just completely disrupt your well being. I don't know. Yeah, there's a lot of people. I mean, wasn't the heath Ledger a bit about just how depressing and down the Joker was and all that kind of stuff and so fascinating and that whole other world we sit and bitch about the Admirals Club not letting us in.

How about if you had to do like a whole thing on a guy that was strung out on drugs and alcohol, have to like act like getting to character. Yeah, I know, it's fast, have a whole differents. Fine with sports, thank you so much. Down. Um okay, wait, so dry cleaning I have hopefully, well not, I don't know why

I'm saying hopefully. I'm assuming like both people, you've got your regular laundry laundry basket, and you've got your dry cleaning laundry basket somewhere in there, like things are just getting thrown into the dry cleaning that don't belong there. S okay, So I go my sweet dry cleaner, the same place that I go to. I found finally found a very you know, well, decently affordable dry cleaning service. I was getting really ripped off at the other place.

Now that I realized the rates over here, I get so excited. I want to pay them double just because it's so cheap. So I go tip them. You tip the dry cleaner. No, I was just thinking tippings. I'm a great tipper. I just don't think you should have seven tips on top. Here's a tip one line. I thought of you and I signed that breakfast bill yesterday in Dallas. Game was like, and carrisso would die? Did you added gratuity on? Do I feel so bad? They're

standing right there? Okay, if guys don't know we're talking about it was on last podcast episode and it's basically I'm the asshole so at the dry cleaner and normally like I just go in and they're so lovely. I just put the basket down. I don't need to sort out is there four shirts, my mistakes in front of me. Please. It's like that episode of Sex in the City or

Not Sexy City. It's the sweetest thing where she has sex and their stuff on the dress and she's like so mortified and the class comes in in shure up, my guy, I do. There's always grass because a lot of these fields they paint their grass. There's you know, I get like white marks, I get whatever. And the guy will look at the cuffs and my pants and be like, oh, look at this. It's like I've done like a robbed a bank. I just stood on the like the fifty yard line and talked to Todd Bowles,

what do you want me to do? I'm doing my job. Yes, did I get red paint on the like cuffs of my pants? Do people still say cuffs? I don't know, but that's what I got. And it's like judging me, and I don't need that on your phrases. I'm gonna start writing these phrases down. She's under protect and she is. She's seventy five. With the things she says. I don't know what it was. I gotta go back and look your phrases. And I was like, oh, smell you later.

She wrote in a text message on a chain yesterday, all right, smell later. I was like, who says smell you later? She was talking about someone that we aren't fan favorites of. Okay. So we're at the dry cleaner. Normally put the basket down, I leave, see you next week. Okay. So there's a long line. So I think to myself, I'm gonna help them sort this out. I'm over here laying things out, not a problem. All of a sudden, I'm like, there's a pair of underwear in there. Always

comes back to underwear and bathrooms to me. There's a pair of underwear in there. There's a brand new wear sweatshirt with the tag still on it in there, and I'm like, that's okay, dry cleaning thing, Yeah, exactly, dry cleaning brand new things. There's a garment bag, there's all

these things in the bottom. There's the cover for Willis's dog, saying like, there's so much shit in there, and I'm like do I just so thank god I caught those because in the past when I picked up dry cleaning, it's like, oh my god, we dry cleaned a thong on These people probably think I'm so fancy that I need to dry clean on the little hooks, and I'm like, oh Jesus, they are probably like these must be La Perla,

and it's like, nope, just Calvin Klein. I heard a story and I need to get I need to ask Max Kellerman. I heard that Max Kellerman takes all the buttons off of his shirts, then get some dry clean and put them all back on. I gotta find out if that's a fact or not, because that must be very expensive. Who sews them all back on? Alterations? People, alterations,

the dry cleaners. But yeah, you really don't know what's in the bottom of that dry cleaning basket until you start combing through there, and then there's some shame and now you're explaining what is that mark, what isn't that mark? And why the enderwars in there. It's a pain in the ask to go there. It really is like our bin is fall. We need to go And now I, you know, have some more cuffs that have stains on them, so I need hafs. Oh my god, I don't know.

I don't feel like this podcast flowed very well. I disagree. We had a lull and we picked it right back up. Ryan goes you can wrap out of this. I get it. I get it well, I feel like there's more I want to talk about. Calm Down with Aaron and Chrissa is a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio apps, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.