A health crisis is what catapulted today's guest into learning to walk in both worlds. As our title suggests, both the physical and spiritual. Sophia Rene Morales, shares her health struggle, her emotional submission, and her final transition into believing in miracles. She now calls herself a troubleshooter, and she leads others to discover their personal superpower, and believe in miracles! So follow along with Sophia, as she leads us through an exercise together in walking in both worlds, guided by the God Squad, enjoy her fascinating story and “Call IT in With Dar “Episode Five, season three!
__________________________
Welcome in Sofia, I'm so happy to have you with us. Could we start by you telling us a little bit about yourself and how you started on this journey that we call walking in both worlds?
● Thanks for having me, Darla, I'm so excited to be here and share what I could share as concisely as I could share it, how's that sound like, I tend to want to give everybody all the lessons as we go along. So I will try to rein in that tendency. And I will say, I started typically enough in that when I arrived in this world, like almost all small children, I was very dialed into the spiritual side of things, and I think remembered quite a bit from the other, the other side, if you will, because I can remember being frustrated with my little tiny body and it wasn't impacting this world the way that I thought it ought to be able to. And I can remember being frustrated about that. And then as I grew older, I discovered that there were going to be even more challenges than just that simple, like interfacing
with the world, because I was raised in an extremely conservative religious household. And one of the conservative beliefs that was touted around my house was that all miracles stopped with Christ. And anyone who is doing a miracle, or claiming to do miracles in this world is either a liar, or of the devil. Okay, and I didn't want to be either of those things. And I very deliberately started shutting down my spiritual gifts. Because I was having prescient dreams, I shut that down. I could know and feel things about other people, so I started shutting down the stuff that I couldn't explain. And really, by the time I was in high school, the only thing that I still had turned on was what they would call clear cognizance or clear knowing. And that's the answers that just arrive out of nowhere. And the reason I did not end up shutting that one down was I was a very clever and precocious child, and very smart and a voracious reader. And I could kind of defend that one. And that if I, if I said something, if I came up with an understanding of a large word that I'd never run into previously, no one else needed to know that I'd never run into that previously, I could just say, Well, I must have read it somewhere. And so I, I was able to kind of keep that aspect of my spiritual gifts turned on. But most of the rest of it, I shut down. Because of the stigma around it in my house, and I believe me with a Norwegian and German, I got more than enough criticism, without adding any of the psychic side of things into it. And my parents were both very big on we want you to do better than we've done. We want you to advance in the world, we want you to have a
career, not just a job or a trade. And so there was an early expectation that you're going to go to college, you're going to, you know, do all the things you're going to do to grow up and be a supermom. And I did that for many years. I lived my mother's values for almost 40 years before I figured out why I was so freakin’ miserable all the time, I would go to these self-development events, right? The first thing they hand you is this list of values, go down this list and circle your list of values. I did not actually circle my list of values; I circled my mom's list of values. Because those are quote unquote, the correct values. And then I was puzzled as to why the life that I created around that didn't fit me right.
And so I had what I wanted to say some warning signs on the personal side of things. That I wasn't in alignment. I wouldn't have used that word at that time. That wasn't a concept that I understood. Because I was in this very rational humanistic two plus two equals four. It's gotta be a replicable scientific kind of mindset. And that's to be fair, that's what my training was. and right. So, I deliberately cultivated a great deal of that energy. And I wasn't hearing anything else. And when you do that your soul will start to take away your favorite toys until you pay attention. And having been raised by a German and a Norwegian, I have very honestly come by a double dose of stubborn and stoic. So when my soul starts dropping subtle hints, like throwing books off the shelf at the bookstore, instead of going, I wonder if this is for me, I would pick it up and go, these people should shelve this stuff better shove it back onto the shelf. Okay. Oh, good. So, I did not come into the” woo woo'' side of my gifts easily after I had shut them down. Because I was very focused on getting through this life, and my life fit me so badly. This, this is the poster child moment for my life fitting me so badly, I would come home from work. I was working in a fortune 100 bank at that time. I would come home from work and look at my husband and say, Are we there yet? And I don't mean, the end of the day. I don't mean Friday. I mean, can I freaking retire? That's how badly my life fit me at that moment. Now, from the world's perspective, we were doing fabulous. We were dinks with double income, no kids, and my husband had an amazing career. I had an amazing career. I'm setting land speed records, for promotions and getting monster raises. And we're investing and we've got a retirement account, we've got properties, and we're able to pay for fancy trips to wherever we really want to go. And, you know, so it all looks real good on the outside. But by God, are we there yet? Because I want to be able to stop and do what I want to do. And I've been so indoctrinated into checking off all the boxes and following the path that my mother basically laid out for me that I'm unwilling to question any of it. And so since I wouldn't take subtle hints my soul started lining things out and there started to be trouble in my husband's industry, it shifted fight, fundamentally, and he stopped being able to work on a regular basis, he'd be employed for a year or two and then unemployed for three. This does not work well financially. So the financial picture is like, Hey, pay attention. And I'm ignoring that. And I'm just working harder and trying to make up the difference. And then I start to get sick on a regular basis. And I've known there's something up with my health, but no one can figure it out. And it gets worse and it gets worse. And finally, this big, beautiful intellect that has been the center of my world starts to come apart at the seams. And not only am I losing words, or forgetting where I put my keys, which is kind of a typical thing that happens to extremely busy people. But I'm losing whole chunks of my day, like an alcoholic blackout. Don't remember chunks of my day despite the fact that I'm not a drinker. And I'm catching everything that goes around and I'm getting increasingly sick and it remains this mystery. And I went to a lot of different conventional doctors and they tested me for a lot of things around my thyroid and lupus and other autoimmune kind of stuff Ms. Fibromyalgia, it's a very long list of stuff, none of which actually ended up being the thing. Until finally, things have deteriorated to the point that we're in bankruptcy. We're living in a borrowed condo, we don't, we're not in any. We've lost almost all of our properties and we're not even living. We have my husband working for a third of what he's historically been unemployed for. He's going back to grad school. And I've arrived at the point that I cannot work because I can't even go into the kitchen and make a simple 30 Minute Meal. It takes me three hours. Because literally from moment to moment, I don't remember what I'm doing. And, you know, so there's my soul. It's there with the big black line. big blackout Sharpie Go ahead. Okay. Money, nope. steady income, new investment stuff. Nope, we're gonna put her in bankruptcy, she's still not paying attention, and its lining things through. And that's the point I was at, when I finally got the answer to what was causing the trouble, I was finally sent to a doctor who does functional medicine, I'd found a unicorn, a functional doctor that took insurance. And he did a whole shit ton of tests. And it came back that I had Lyme, and not just like recent Lyme, but long-standing Lyme is a relative of syphilis. And if you remember syphilis from health class, if it's untreated, it will eat your brain. And this is where I was at with my Lyme disease, it was eating my brain. So something had to happen. Now, while we're in the bankruptcy, not after the bankruptcy, he has a plan that has a 70% success rate. He gave me a copy of that, so I could talk to the insurance company about it. And my conversation with the insurance company went, I have a diagnosis, I have a treatment plan I need to know. And their response when I told them my diagnosis was, we don't believe in chronic Lyme. Yeah, right. Okay, that's convenient for you now, isn't it. And that phone call wrapped up on this note, she says, Oh, and you need to know your doctor is no longer in the network either. And that was a real low point for me that day, because we didn't have a lot of options. At that moment, I had one guy who had a successful treatment plan that was going to conservatively cost around $27,000 For the first year of a two-year plan. And if the insurance is not paying, we're in bankruptcy, there's no place for extra money, I can't work, my husband's already full time working full time going back to school and taking care of me he's not sleeping at this point that he doesn't have more cycles, can't take out a loan in bankruptcy, there's no way that's happening. We've got nothing to sell, it's all under the control of the bankruptcy trustee. And so the only thing I could think to do was to call my parents. Now, I've been told since very young that when you turn 18, you are an adult, and you will handle your own adulthood. Do not expect to return home and live in the basement or do any of that kind of thing. But I figured in this one instance, this might perhaps be an exception, because I know what it is, I just can't get to it without a little assistance. And once I get to it, then, you know, I, I'll be healthy, I can pay back and do that kind of stuff. So I called my dad and the Bank of dad was empty that day. And that was really the last option that I could even think of at that moment. And so when I went to bed next to my husband that night, I couldn't even meditate, which has been my survival skill as I go through this because when your brain goes to pieces, it stops doing things like going through normal sleep cycles. And so I haven't had a proper night's sleep in a very, very long time. And I've been meditating just to kind of get through the night. And that night, there was just no way I was meditating. My brain was like this trapped squirrel, and it's bouncing off all the walls and, and going through the whole list of options and it can't find a solution or a way out. And around three, I guess it was three in the morning. I just didn't have the energy for it anymore. And I arrived at a level of acceptance that I did not know the answer to this particular conundrum. And I guess the graceful thing to call it is I surrendered. But it wasn't nearly that pretty. It was a literal, melting down of everything I thought I knew and an acceptance that I really had no control or even a remote plan on how to get out of this. And in the quiet that followed, that, whatever you wish to call it, we'll call it surrender. And we'll paint it pretty. There was one other idea that occurred to me. And that was to pray, I hadn't prayed in a very long time. Mainly because I had a very hard time separating God, as God actually is from the God, I was taught about in the religion that I grew up in. And those are some dramatically different beings, the God that I know, inside of my heart is love, and compassion, and patience. And not even tolerance, which would say, I'm kind of putting up with you, despite my difference in principles, but a God of freedom and liberty. And the God I was raised with was none of those things. He was an angry God, he was a jealous God, he was a judgmental God, and you better freakin’ toe the line. And I decided at that moment, I'm going to talk to the God of my heart, not the God I was raised with. And I kicked around, you know, explaining myself and all this kind of thing. And it's like, no, God knows where I'm coming from. He knows what I've been through, he knows what I've struggled with over the years, and not even gonna go there. I go straight to the point. And I said, God, I will do anything to get better. Not really expecting an answer, because you hear about people who pray for months and months and months before they get anything. But I put it out there very sincerely with every aspect of my being. And I got my answer straight away, in the form of a little tiny voice in the back of my mind that said, Really, anything. And the voice had a point. Anything doesn't have any edges on it. It's a very, very, very broad commitment. And I sat with, what would I be unwilling to do? I would be unwilling to call it change my fundamental essence, I'm a fundamentally nice person, I love and care for the people around me. Honestly, more than myself, oftentimes, and so I would not be willing to lie, cheat, steal, hurt other people or become an Axe Murderer. That's my edge. That is what I would not be willing to do. And I thought about the God that I know of my heart. Not about the God of the Old Testament that I was raised with. And in my heart, I know that God would never ask me to do any of those things. So to be perfectly clear, I said, God, for you, I will do anything. And I got my first miracle because I fell asleep. And I woke in the morning with a clarity that I had to go get one of these clearing IVs that the doctor offered. Even though I had no clue where the 250 bucks was coming from. I knew that that was my next step. And while I was getting that IV, the doctor actually walked into the infusion room, which is a little unusual. And I said, Hey, you know, talk to me for a minute. I explained about my conversation with the insurance people, and that I'm in bankruptcy, and I'm now a cash Play client. And so what are my options in my current circumstances? And he smiled so big. I'm like, I can't believe he's smiling at this information. This sounds disastrous to me, and he's happy about it. And he says, this means you have all the options now that insurance is out of the picture. Like, oh, I hadn't even considered that insurance was actually a limiting factor for me. And so I want to know, I And I asked him to explain and he said, Well, we have an internal path herbalist who's on our staff who has a fabulous track record with parasitic infections. And Lyme is a parasitic infection. And instead of, you know, these expensive IVs, and exotic antibiotics, he treats everything with herbs. And they're like 30 to $40 a bottle. And so now I have a path to go down that, at least on its face, seems more manageable than the one I'd been presented with previously. And I guess the other thing I want to throw in here is, if I'd had another option, the scientist would have taken it. Because science is not big on folk remedies. And, you know, Well, historically, you know, in the hands of healers, we've kind of seen it do this. It's not a controlled study, we don't like anecdotal stuff. And the only reason I went down that path was I had no other choice in that moment. But it was the path that I needed to go down. And so your soul will do this to you, it will put you into these pinch points. If you've been resisting and trying to go other directions, it's like a recalcitrant cow, right. If you're from a farming background, you know that you don't just walk into the field and go, come on bossy, let's go. You have to herd them into a smaller pen and then eventually into a smaller pen, and then down a chute into a pinch point where they will stand still, and allow you to do whatever it is you need to do with them, clean their hooves, give them a shot, whatever the thing is. And that's what my soul did to me, it's like you will go down this path by God. And this is usually the point in the story where I forget to tell you that my Lyme disease was cured. Going to this naturopath, herbalist and taking the herbs in the course of three months, as opposed to two years, which was what the conventional path was. Wow, yeah. Wow, that's right. And the reason I typically forget to tell you that is because this is where I really start to discover what the anything is about. And when I was in his office, there was a book sitting on the end table that said, the Emotion Code on the front. Now, you'll recall being raised by a Norwegian and a German, what I was taught about emotions growing up is you don't have any, and should you have an inconvenient emotion that pops its head up, you will shove that sucker down and deny that it is there. And you will press on regardless, this is not a good way to handle your emotions, I want to be completely clear about that. This is nonfunctioning advice. And I'd spent several decades and talk therapy trying to undo a great deal of that advice. And it did me a lot of good. It allowed me to leave my abusive first husband, you know, there were beautiful things that came out of talk therapy for me, but I have to say, it was slow. And it never took the heat out of the original event that had caused the emotion, the triggers were all still there. I just knew what they were. But they were still there and fully active. So if this guy understood how to deal with emotions, I wanted to know. And so I'm going into this book, and then the owner of the book came back for it. And now I'm like, Oh, God, I gotta find a way to get the book. So I got my hands on a copy of the book finally. And I treated it like an instruction manual. It's like, this is what you do. Okay, so I went and I did that. And I'm, I'm starting to clear these emotions. And one of the things that he teaches in the book is muscle testing. You may have also heard it called Kinesiology. And as a scientist, while it seems what I want to say is a little “woo woo” on the surface, it functions as what I would call a black box. And it was acceptable to my scientific side to have a black box tool because we do use those in science all the time. And what a black box tool is, is something you don't understand exactly how it works. But you can prove through replication that it does work if you do A it always does B if you do A and always does B It never comes up with C, it's always B. And so I could prove that muscle testing did in fact, get me to the truth. And so scientifically, I'm okay with that. And I'm going through his process, and it's working. The heat is starting to leave some of this old historical, you know, trauma and wounding from my childhood. And so when we get to the chapter on heart walls, which I know I have before even test that I'm halfway sold on taking the sucker down, it didn't take a lot of persuasion to convince me that it needed to go and being a good type a planner kind of person, I laid it all out how many emotions are in there, I can do this many emotions a day, it'll take me you know, X amount of time to, to work it. And as I'm going through this process of taking down my heart wall, strange shit starts happening. That's the scientific description. I started seeing angels and crossed over dead people, pixies and sprites. I am starting to know things about the future in the past that I have no way to know, I'm even starting to see things from the future or the past. And the scientist is working really hard at that moment. And you know, what, you, you have a very active imagination. And it's getting increasingly active here as we go along. And, well, maybe you've got more brain damage than you realized. All of this stuff is getting written off and discounted. And when you do that, your God Squad. That's what I call my spiritual counsel and my angels now. We'll step it up a notch. It's like, okay, if that didn't convince you, let's see what else we can do. And so the next iteration was, I had seen what I knew to be Archangel Michael, he came in the form of a blue glow. And I spontaneously said a Hebrew prayer. I didn't know that's what it was, at the moment, there was a lot of googling that went on to figure out what this is. And then the scientists proceeded to say, well, you know, you probably remember it from that one time you set Seder when you were in college. A region anybody anybody's book, right. And so I wrote that off. And God loves them. They're like, okay, she's scientific, she needs proof, we can arrange that. And I came home from the grocery store. One afternoon, I saw my neighbor helping her husband into the house. And that's painting it pretty, she was staggering under his weight, and he was doubled over in a great deal of pain. So the ice cream can melt, I go over and help her get him in the house. And she's explaining she needs to get an emergency appointment with a kidney doctor, it's gotten so bad, she's never seen it this bad before. And so I sent her to make her phone call. And I'm standing in the living room with him keeping company. And I can see that his eyes are closed and his lips are moving. And I know them both to be what I would describe as the best kinds of Christians. They have that close personal relationship with God. They serve the world from this place of love and acceptance. And they're very nonjudgmental. They're not preachy, they don't try and push their beliefs on anyone. They just live their beliefs out into the world. And so I don't want to just watch him having this private moment with God. I mean, my first prayer was two weeks ago. And I'm not entirely comfortable with even the idea that I prayed at that point. And so I just closed my eyes to give him some privacy. And in my mind's eye, I see this little pilot light, almost some little tiny flame, and it's flickering and jumping the way they do right before they go. And at the same time, I receive this knowing that that is where he is. With his life force.
He is just barely hanging on and any minute he can go poof I haven't acknowledged who I'm talking to you and I really don't think the scientist asked this question. But I asked, Is there something we can do about that? And that little tiny, weak, JUMPY flame went into this huge strong like bonfire. And I don't know how big it got because he dropped my hands. And so my eyes whipped open to see what was wrong. And he says, Are you a healer? I've got no answer for that. Because scientific women over here faith healing is no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not in my world. This does not happen. And I was saved from answering because his wife came back saying, I've got the emergency appointment, we have to leave right away if we're going to make it. So I hustle him back out to the car and I hide in my house for two days, while the scientist has a hissy fit. And convinces me that nothing has happened. It was all imagination and pure coincidence. And at that time, my Midwestern guilt kind of worked on me, right? Because when your neighbors are in distress, you shovel their walk, you bring over, you know, pots of soup or casserole or something and, and provide what help and support and assistance you can. And so it took two days for the Midwestern guilt to overcome the well what if questions that were in my mind. And when I tapped on the door, she opened it with a big smile on her face. So he's probably not in the ICU. And she's probably not planning a funeral, which was the two things I had convinced myself were likely going on. And then she says, Come on in. J has so many questions for you. And my stomach dropped all the way through my feet. Because I convinced myself nothing had happened. But I'm in the house, and I'm committed at this point. So I've got a press on regardless, right? So she takes me in the living room, and there he is, he's kicked back in his Barcalounger. He's got his drink at his elbow, and his book and his remote and he's looking fat and happy. And I said, Wow, so how are you doing Jay, and he says, It was the strangest thing. By the time I got to the doctor's office, I was feeling pretty good. And they put me through the usual battery of tests, and my kidney function came back normal. And that was the moment when the scientist had to sit down and shut the fuck up. Because a conventional doctor will tell you, kidney disease does not get better, full stop. It doesn't reverse. We don't see that. And yet, this gentleman has a file. It's thick as my thumb is deteriorating kidney function. That is now normal. And so now I have to look back at all of this stuff I was writing off over the previous couple of weeks, and look at it with a different lens, a lens of what if, right, the scientist is always good with theorems, let's something we can test, right? Perhaps there is an explanation that is testable. And so I started looking at the explanation that perhaps there is something to those “woo woo “stuff, perhaps there are miraculous things that can occur in this world that don't have a basis in scientific explanation, as we understand it right now. And that was my launch into the “woo woo” World.
Yes. Yes. And I'm sure so many of our listeners have had this experience or might even be going through it not as you know, profoundly as yours, but that they might be trying to balance and do what we were called. We were called walking in both worlds there. Yes, I'm sure we have many listeners that are right now trying to walk in both worlds. So thanks for sharing that captivating story of, you know, well first of all your, your nonbelief in miracles, and then your surrender and your struggle and you're moving to prayer and discovering the emotional code and then, you know, starting to work your way through that and that is just So lovely.
● Well, and I guess one of the things I want to share about walking in both worlds, right, we, we tend to think, in our logical minds that we should be able to be in this place of static balance, it's like, boom, here I am perched right on the edge of both of these worlds. And I'm equally distributed and both 100% of the time, that is not actually how balance works, nor is it actually how walking works. So if you have been doing well, you know, sometimes, you know, I'm all this type of scientific person. And then other times, I'm like, deep into the Whoo. And there, there's very little rational going on there. And then I swing back the other way, I will tell you that that is a normal walking cadence. If you have watched a child learn to walk, they list to the right, and then they list to the left. And they go forward with each of these swings a little bit at a time, and it's kind of jerky when you start out. But as you grow, and you get used to that left, right, left, right rhythm, it becomes a smoother flow. That looks like you're moving in a straight line. And that you're balanced 100% of the time, but the truth is, there's still that left and right rhythm happening in there. And that is normal. That is what balance looks like. That's what walking in both worlds really is. You spend a little time in logical rational, you spent a little time in the womb and you swing back and you swing fourth, and you swing back. And you swing fourth.
Yes, yes. Great analogy. Thank you so much. Before we conclude, can you tell our audience about the superpower quiz that you have for them, and how they might learn more and take even some more steps with you?
● Absolutely. So I have two doors into Zofia Land, the superpower quiz is my favorite one. And the reason I created this is because so many of us as we're waking up, we go into the woo world, and we sit in a development circle or, or we take a class where we learn to talk to angels, or whatever is calling to you, right. And you have all these people around you who seem to have more powerful, better, more usefully expressed gifts. And it's hard for us to own what's ours, because it feels like the air we breathe, and the water we swim in. And you don't think about those things because they're just there and you take them for granted. And so the superpower quiz stands in place of an exercise that I normally do with my students who are in my development circle. And that is I have them literally sit in a circle and you tell the person to write what you know and admire about their gifts. And then they tell the person to their right until it comes all the way around. And you get to hear what other people see and admire in your gifts. The quiz stands in this place. And so take the superpower quiz and, and use it as a mirror to see what the specialness is about you. The number one spiritual gift that you brought into this world with you. And you can find that at superpower quiz.us.
Awesome. And that information will be on the show notes page. And thank you so much Sophia for spending this quality time with us. I'm sure there are many people in our audience that resonate with various parts of your story and are ready to move forward like you did.
● Yeah, it's a matter of building trust. And so be patient with yourself as that trust building process happens because it happens initially in small steps. When I first woke up, I had this routine in the morning and I still do it to this day. And what I do is I sit in that peaceful half-awake half-asleep moment and I ask my God Squad. What is the number one most important thing for me to do today to move my mission forward? And 98% of the time it sounds silly, trivial or mundane. In, but do it because it's important. And that's actually how you begin to build trust is by taking the little tiny steps that are put in front of you. Because your spiritual guidance works more like a GPS than it does a treasure map.
Yes, thank you. Thank you
Transcribed by https://otter.ai