Ben Newman

The boys Yo number one. Thank you. Regal Realty Group Hunter Briley specifically, guys, local Nashville company, real estate company. It's Regal Realty Group. You can find them at Regal RG dot com. And you can also get a Hunter Briley who works with us, you know, specifically Hunter Briley his personal fucking blow him up six one five six three zero nine seven three five or he can hit you know his office six one five four eight three zero eight five six. That is Hunter Briley and you

Uh.

He's trying to find a home for this bus. As a matter of fact, he's helping us find some rental locations potentially a buying to have a nice, nice little Rob deer Dick fantasy factory type deal going on. But yeah, he's a stud man. He really helps. He really helped us out. I know his phone has been blown up a little bit by people around here. He's gotten a few hot leads. So guys, he's it's real estate done differently and he's all about relationships. I've sat with him.

Ben Newman, So you know there's one can of worms that we probably should opened that you probably didn't.

Tell them what's ahead.

Then I went to Michigan State.

Oh I forgot.

I just gotta make sure I talk slow. Remember everything I.

Love.

I love when when he made Braybell point up to.

The yeah, yeah, man, we got to make sure people. If you go on the bus, man, you're in corn Husker territory.

Actually, I was terrified.

It's not amy and.

It's kind of just like welcome, glad to have you, Jesus Christ.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, coloring books will be fine.

All right, Aaron, he's over here like about to rip it out of the fucking bus. I have to get that black cart out. They can pay for it. Yo. It's raining outside, his storming. It doesn't matter, doesn't fucking matter. It's just like you know, it's a storm, and it's one of those storms to where the lightning flashes and the noise happens within.

A sex like yeah, it's like death's all around us.

Yeah, Generator going on outside.

No excuses, play like a champion, Rule number seventy six.

Just a lot of a lot of adversity, dude, a lot of adversity.

So then, what were you thinking before you came on this bus, Like, like what was going through your mind? Like we've been boys a long ass time, and you knew I got this thing rolling me and the boy.

I already told you. I literally I thought to myself, I've been on hundreds of interviews, and I never have been terrified for what the hell is going to be asked. I'm looking over it, Taylor, like Bro's gonna bring the heat.

The dude is. The dude is witty. Man, you gotta come fucking correct if you want to dance with the devil, because Will knows.

Will knows if he has asked anything wrong that if that thunder.

You're that thunder?

Do we Probably you probably heard that.

I mean you said if I say anything wrong, yes, you're gonna it'll be relatively tame Will. That depends I.

Don't know what you guys. Relationship is like.

Will might just be getting a little little box today, but he might come out of the shell.

No, I'm ready to go.

He always cuts it to me real.

Yeah. I always try to cheer Ben because he's a he's a performance coach, he's an author. He does motivational speaking. So I always ask him all the time, like, you know been like you never played football, so how do you motivate football players? That's a chirp and and and actually a question, like you know, you walk into some of these locker rooms the teams have you on like bam and all them they bring you in k State and they want to they lean to you for inspiration

Well, I think I think you know this is that if I go into Alabama, within the first five minutes, they're gonna hear my mom's story. They're gonna hear the challenge adiversity I went through with my dad. Parents divorced when I was six months old, right knowing that my mom passed away, then my dad had his issues, and they know that, like, I've been through shit in my life, and that's the goal that I have, no matter what group I'm in front of, sports or business like, it's

Right, you want to talk about in a nutshell your mom's story.

Yeah, I mean it's I think about it every day.

You know.

You know, we all have a story. We all have challenge and adversity. And for me, I had to grow up fast because my mom was diagnosed with a rare muscle disease. Nineteen eighty three was the year I was five years old. When she was diagnosed. She goes to a hospital in Boston. Everybody in their muscles, they have ameloids. So Taylor, you have ameloids, Will's got them, I've got them. If you have an excess of amyloids, you have a disease called ameloid dosis. Ameloids slowly eat away at your

Able to Yeah, they're like looking at handwriting and stuff like that. It's just my mom's Yeah. Knowing that was back in What'd you say in nineteen eighty three?

She passed away November second, nineteen eighty six, but nineteen eighty three was when she was diagnosed. So she made it. She made it three years.

And what was going on? Your dad was having issues too back then. I meant to where you had to kind of you talk about growing up fast, like, yeah, you had that stuff going on with your mom, but also your dad was you know, had his issues to where you had to be You're the You're.

I'm the youngest, you're the youngest. Yeah, so my older brother. Yeah, so my mom passes away, Dad moves back into the house, and you know, he had issues with addiction, He had all types of stuff. I'm now coming home as an eight year old boy, and you think Dad's napping on the couch, but you know he's just he's had his day.

What were the things he was doing?

Drugs and alcohol and you know, stuff that is challenging and tough, and so finally he got sober and he's literally been sober ever since. So nine months after my mom died, to now.

Was he was a reason why, Like not the reason, but as part of.

That reason, because of all the struggles you had to go through.

With your mom and everything like that.

So they were. They were divorced when I was six months old. So I think what it was though, was other issues my dad has had that it was such a hard life that I think he just he turned to that. And part of everybody's wired different, you know what I mean. There's people who can, right, we can have our bourbons, we can have fun, and people can handle it, and there's other people. It's it's a disease, no question. Yeah it's a disease.

Yeah, it's crazy.

I mean, anything can really become an addiction if you let it, whether it's video games. I mean, sugar is just such an addictive product that I literally have had people argue with me about that.

No, sugar's not addictive.

It's absolutely an addictive thing. You can't just look at his addiction as you know, just drugs or alcohol. Those are the easiest things to point out, but you can turn so many things into you know, addiction, even things that are good for you. You know, if you're working out all the time or whatever, you don't you still have to go.

Out and live your regular life too, and stuff like that.

But yeah, those types of things, especially like you know, drugs and alcohol, those are very difficult to go through, and it's so easy for people that don't do with those issues to look and say, hey, well it's not that big, just stop doing it, just stop doing your fine. Well, I mean, if you drink, your brain is chemically imbalanced. It's a depress you feel shitty when you get off fit. What's the easiest thing to do. We just still have a couple more. We'll hear the dog. They always say,

Little more sure sep.

It is a slippery still, but you get it's realizing. And I think the biggest thing that people need to understand is the biggest best thing you do for yourself is sit with yourself and and understand who you are and going through that process. The best process is to say well I am this person's figure out who you are not and then shaving that down process of elimination to finding out who you are and then growing from that.

It's hard for a lot of people.

You bring up an interesting point that drugs, alcohol, anything in life. It's it's the way people think about things, right, and you and I have had so many great conversations about it. But how you think about things determines how you show up right. Right, it's your belief system for everything. Right, you've done what you've done playing in the NFL. You've done what you've done playing because you believed you would

It's tough.

It's because if if you play sports, it's the easiest way to figure out, Okay, where am I at? Like you could figure out I get my ass kicks. Okay, I know I need to do I need to work on X, Y and Z.

Life.

It's not as black and white. It's you gotta you know, you got to read, You get to educate yourself.

You got to see.

You got to find your own deficiencies in yourself. What it makes means to hear why are these things making me into here?

And working on those things?

And I mean that's The best part about football is it's such a competitive sport.

It'll tell you where you're at right then and there.

And so I mean, that's that's a big reason why I'm so confident, is that football's helped me learn to be a confident person. Not just that, but also like when you have an issue with something, instead of hiding from you to take a head on and if you don't go and a tacket there, I mean, if I don't, if I don't do something in the first fifteen minutes of learning about something, I let it get the best of.

Me, which is a really difficult thing.

Sometimes, right, but figuring out like you guys are saying, the self awareness factor, and then figuring out those weaknesses and then okay, how do I supplement those weaknesses If I can't do them, do them on my own us with our diets, all of us you know, live well, eat well, stuff like that. If you know you're struggling in another area, you know. That's why we ended up meeting up and going over psychological stuff, mental trainings and things that kind of like you kind of try and

So I gotta tell the story. I mean, everybody's good Twitter story. Yeah, well, I mean yeah, So we meet over Twitter because we had a mutual friend. We didn't know each other. All my work had been in the corporate world. So I started speaking in two thousand and six, coaching two thousand and eight, started books, and actually the first talk I ever gave in sports in my old high school basketball team in twenty eleven when the coach called. So I'd done a little bit in sports, but not

Man.

The first time we meet, he sits down. We're sitting across in a booth. I said, man, what's on your mind? And he says, uh, will Man? I said, what's on your mind? So those twenty thirteen what's on your mind? He says, you know what, if it doesn't work out with the Redskins, there's thirty one other teams. I knew I had his ass, right. I mean the moment he said that, I knew it was game over. These principles are going to work, right.

Yeah.

So I looked at him and I said, wait a second, man, I said, I know, we're just meet for the first time. I got I'd like, I gotta ask you a question. I got to ask you a question. What happens if every day you start waking up and you tell yourself, I'm a linebacker with the Washington Redskins, and if you doubt yourself. In the middle of the day, you tell yourself again, I am a linebacker with the Washington Redskins. And before you go to bed, you tell yourself, man,

Do you still say every day that you're the linebacker for the Washington Redskins.

No, No, I don't doone. I don't I do have goalsough Ben at Ben has helped me a lot. Like I would go to Montero and he's in Saint Louis and we would meet. We didn't meet in the middle and just sit for like what an hour or two, and you know, he would have stuff for me to do, Like I read a couple like mental books, so I was like obsessed with like mental psychology stuff. You know how it goods you. You get motivated and you get

You said, I want to meet with Will. First.

I sent a message to him, and then he said, yeah, man, let's do it.

He reached out. He's like, yeah, I love that you're in the I said something about mental training. I can't wait to get home and get him some book or something like that. He reached out, said yeah, it's me. Let's meet halfway. And then I went into camp.

But hold on before let me, I got to mention this because I think this is for everybody, because you had mentioned some of us were not in sports, right, and so if you remember, he was a captain of Nebraska, right number twelve all time tackles. So it's like, I knew this guy could play some ball. So I said to him, I said, I said, man, I said, what made you a captain of Nebraska? Tell me all the things that were one hundred percent in your control that

All The boy the Boys and the Boys goes back early and I'm in the film room and I'm literally game planning our offense for training camp for like those few plays, I might get sure to be out there because you're like, Okay, you can't fuck up if you get that opportunity. Well a good you know. Fortunately for me, some luck played into it. Keenan who was a draft pick the year before and like the fourth round Keenan Robinson,

To go down all the time.

Yeah, people who probably listening to that when you're explaining, like well, what a dick, Like he's unfortunate things for me, Like people got hurt.

Like that's just the way it is.

That's just the way it is, man, because a lot of times in the NFL, it's not how good you are, it's not how like it's sometimes like hey, this.

Guy's our guy, and that's what it is. Sorry, and you're gonna have to go on a different team and that's just that's just how it works. And there's really no right or wrong like rhyme or.

Reason, but it is what it is, and like it just when stuff starts clicking like you, like you do take advantage of that kind of stuff.

So and then when that guy goes down and you know how it is, it's that next man of mentality, Like when you're out last year, who is Dennis Kelly who comes in after you?

Right?

Yes, Dennison actually end up getting hurt too. So the first the first first game of the season, I got knocked out. We had the longest game in NFL history, but against the Miami Dolphins. Is there were so many so much rain and thunder and lightning. So I ended up getting knocked out right after the second half, right after the first half, in the in the third quarter.

So I was out.

The next week, Dennis was starting at left tackle. Dennis ended up having a situation. I'm not gonna talk about his stuff is it's not that's the number one right I've never talked about so like Ray and Dennis had his thing.

So now we had our third tackle and Jack was out too, So out yeah, Jack. Jack was hurt.

He was coming back from his injury. I get hurt, so our starters are out, Dennis is now starting. He gets his situation on Wednesday or whatever that week he's out. So we're playing the Houston Texans with our fourth and fifth tackle.

And it's like it's just wild.

Kevin pan File, Kevin pant File or pant Field and I don't remember who was starting here at right, and.

He either got activated or brought Tyler Merris.

He Tyler did such a great job, dude. He came in and was he was a stuck cause I got hurt in Buffalo too, and he he came in.

And held his own against Jerry Hughes.

But yeah, like Tyler's that kind of do too, like kind of he's been lucky enough to be with the Titans.

Like I think he's going his fourth year. It's kind of like you like he's behind me and Jack and Dennis, and like he's kind of.

Like on that bubble every single year. He's got that stress, like right now is going to be the most stressful time of the year.

Figure out what's going on. He handles it so well. He's a man.

He really had some stuff on pro. But we went into that game and it's like Kevin Panfield. We picked him from Tampa Bay. We like he was on the team for six months, he was starting. And then Tyler has been on the team for three years, but he's never had played, he's never played in a real game, and now he's dressing and playing.

It's it's just wild how things just happen.

Yeah, yeah, and it happens that fast, and no one gives a ship like get there at all, like the head coach, and then they'll look at you like, hey, you're up at your time, like your name is the one being said in meetings now and you sit there with that like nerves feel like yo, I gotta go out there, and I gotta go out there and ball now,

They don't expect any any drop off, Like there's some elite dudes that when then they go down and you're just like fuck man, like your quarterback goes down, yeah, for sure, ship, or like you got a wide receiver, Like it's a big time dude, Like you can't really replace those, right, He's gonna a little bit of a drop and if like things just happened, man, and they expect you to play just as well as that when you're a.

Star, yeah at the start, and then when you're like that young cat or you're finally getting an opportunity, like you know, that might be your only opportunity you get because if you're say you're a lower rounder, undrafted guy, you might only get one shot. If you're higher, you might get a couple like slap on the wrist and get a few extra chances because you're you know, that's

There's definitely not a shorte of people that want that want to play in the NFL. That's for sure, Yeah, no doubt.

But if you're like, I don't know, the NFL is one thing I feel like talking to full of plays. I mean, I've sat in so many rooms and motivational speakers have come in, and you know, nine times out of ten, I get pretty hyped up. I'm easily hyped because I love watching those motivational videos.

I should read more. I'm gonna read more.

Send them to you.

You need to, Yeah, we do, because I'm all about that. Like I love I love like.

I just love the idea of like being great. You know what I'm saying. I love like all that kind of stuff. I'm watching those videos and.

Reading this Taylor like to give you guys kind of start for interrupting. But Taylor will like get hype in the morning, right well, because we work out together and they'll like send me say it's like Econa McGregor or something about law of attraction or something. Joe Rogan said, that's a huge Like he'll like send it, you know, and it'll just get you hype. So that's like what he's talking about when he says he gets super into that.

Yeah, but you can't be just like you know, if it's football players, it's easy. You feel.

You put a video a couple of guys making some big hits, there's a hyped up they go out to play football, Like what's it doing between football players? And then when you go into like a fortune five hundred company, and you got to go and talk to these people that are have been suits their whole life since birth, they've been suits.

Well, for for me, it's actually the same principles and the same lessons, right. It's finding somebody's burn, it's finding somebody's motivation. It's finding the actual reason why they want to do the work. And if you find the reason why somebody wants to do the work, they're going to go do the work right, And then it's holding them accountable to it. And it's very similar. There's business people who they want you to get them all fired up, right.

That's all I had. Yeah, Like I don't need the whole paragraph. Everybody just straight, yeah, straight.

Will is I got.

I hate complimenting the boy, but Will is definitely without it. I won't be hardest, like Will wants to be great so bad and it's not just like my whole life since I got a scholarship off ROC talk all the time, I got to offer from Utah State spring ball going into my senior year and I as us an offer from them. I was like, I'm going to the NFL, like that's it, and people are like, well, and then you know, I don't know, it's not I'm going that is it.

It's done. And I never had a plan, a plan B. It was always like, well, I'm going to the NFL. I'm going to the NFL.

Will has done such a great job of making his dream scome true of going to the NFL, working so hard, becoming a captain, while the other captain the Redskins right, doing those types of things. But the whole time, I all get in this car and he's listening to some damn podcasts about real estate and he's listening to a podcast about you know, how to diversify your portfolio so your money grows. But and it was like this dude just like want He just wants it.

Whatever that is. It's it's very admirable to see.

I appreciate that.

Yeah, fuck yourself.

And I believes, well he doesn't. He doesn't realize that that. He inspires the hell out of me too, right, So it's I maybe came in, We'll still do this.

Ticket.

Hey it's iron, it's it's iron sharpens iron. But I mean he he definitely motivates me. His story, his belief, his fight, I mean all kinds of crazy stuff. The only issue I've ever had with Will is when we first started speaking together, getting his ass off the stage because we went to Nebraska and it's like, I don't know how you get the mic out of his mouth.

Gotta say hi, yeah, we got to get you off the stage. And then he's like, did I go too long? And I'm like, yeah, you took the whole time. So I'm glad you've taught him. He's got to share, you know what I mean.

I don't think I'm I talk more than him.

Well, I always tell him, you know, there's three boys in the family. I say, this is the only family I've ever met where literally like you're like the only child, yet there's three children, you know what I mean. He doesn't share, He doesn't do any of that.

Now, down through the little things where transition actually a table person, I really think about it.

You get down on a naty greedy but how like so you you are where you are now, but it all started somewhere, like you get down in Michigan State. Why like why all of a sudden are you now being told or asked to speak? Why are you now in these rooms? Like where where did it start? Where did it come from? Because you worked in Northwestern Mutual. Correct.

Yeah, I was a financial advisor over ten years, and yeah, I mean I had a great run, you know, on that professional side of things. But you know what, I always look at the tough stuff I've been through and how I responded. That defines the person that you become. Right, So, if it wasn't enough my mom and my dad and all these things, I was a paper broker in Chicago. I was engaged for thirteen hours to my sweetheart. Right, had I gone to Michigan, maybe I would have worked out.

Yeah, I'll tell you. You hear your motivational speaker. I just can't imagine like someone coming from Michigan State Like, I feel like the only motivation is getting the hell out of there.

Right.

You have to think to yourself, man, like, that's why when you knew man, my mom, my dad. But I got the fuck out of this call. That's why other thing and and now and now your.

Motivation is me. I'm really happy for you. You've come this far.

Oh god, so engaged thirteen That won't be the end of it either, now that he's opening it up. Yeah, so engaged thirteen hours. Thank god? She told me no otherwise I wouldn't have the life that I have. I go back to the first time I was invited to speak, right, I got paid five hundred bucks. I'm like, this is the thing. And then like after that, I would get coffee cups, you know, And then you got to come home and tell your wife like, hey, I got a

That's where everyone wants to quick fix.

Everyone wants to just be rich and they want to be famous in all this and it's like it's we talked about it in a podcast before. It's like people see the results of what football's done for us, not the hard work that we put in to get the result of football. Like you know, Sundays are great, but there's camped, there's working out, there's literally no off season, you have to go. You get a couple of weeks of vacation, but you're working out all the time, trying

On going or whatever. But then you see like the uh with the iceberg, and it like shows the tip.

Of the iceberg, that success, but you see it built like how you build everything, and people don't see all the hard work you put in. And then you have the tip of the iceberg, which is like what everybody actually wants. But anything, anything worth having or doing, you have to work for.

But here, here, here's the crazy thing. You give that iceberg example. Here here's the wildness. And sometimes I like to be more direct, just to like shake up the listeners to realize what we're talking about. Here they see that, and they still don't see what's beneath the water, like they literally see it. And it's like somebody just like that's actually how you get there, right, Like, do you

Yeah, that's I.

Do you do you ever like watch guys like well, I appreciate that, thank you.

Do you ever watch guys like Tony Robbins or Eric Thomas, like those individual speakers and like take things from them, learn things from them or anything like that.

So I like to learn from everybody. I mean I read books like Crazy. Eric Thomas and I actually hung out for a couple of days at BAMA training Camp last year, which was a great time. And what I pay attention to is how does he interact with people? Right? So, yeah, I heard his talk. His talk was great, but like how does he interact with people?

Speaker?

Yeah, great speaker, but like watching him, you know, we'd be eating and it we'd be eating with the players. How's he interacting with the that's the stuff I want to see, like how do you treat people? How do you deal with people? What are the questions that you ask? And he's engaging with guys, right, So it's like if I meet somebody, like, I don't want to know, Taylor, what that makes you great? I want to hear, like what did you do to get to where you are? Like,

What do you mean by that you can't be seduced by success?

So Will taught me something called standard over feelings.

I got that from Tony Robbins.

Okay, so standard over standard, standard over feelings. So and then I came up with seduction of success.

Right.

So as he kind of took me through this, I said, all right, well, from what I've seen the people I've shared the stage with, the people that I've learned from books I've read. The highest performers are not seduced by success. So the moment that you have achievement, you actually crave more. You realize, like, because of that achievement that makes me realize what I can, I'm gonna go get after it again tomorrow. And most people, let's give sales right, business world,

Yeah, that's definitely it.

No, that's what. No, that's what I said. I like the seduction of success because it's all about the whole standard. Old feelings is the thing that I learned from Tony Robbins. Listen to all his YouTube stuff. You have this standard. Like me personally, like when I listen when I listen to that, whenever he was talking, it's like, Okay, Will Compton, what do I want to be? Okay, I want to be a Pro Bowl linebacker? What does a Pro Bowl? Okay? Are you start with the end of mind? So okay,

The unfortunate thing is a lot of times people do have success and they're not going to want success again until they have that failure next. Yeah, they'll go and they'll this is so great, and then you think you're so great, and then all of a sudden a couple of things happen and you're like, well, maybe I'm not so good. You feel sorry for yourself, then yeah, take it up and make yourself and it makes you appreciate what the success actually was that day to.

Day absolutely, and then overcoming that you you your character is built through how you respond in adversity, right, Like, yeah, we're all gonna be successful at certain periods of time, but like you just say, like, you're gonna get humbled, you're gonna get kind of shaken, a little bit, But how you respond is ultimately who you were in the first place. You just needed to realize that, you know, my shit isn't what I thought it smelt like all

But I've always believed that if you put it in the hard work, then you're prepared when the bad stuff happens. And if you don't put in the work, you're not prepared. And a lot of that is the mental side, right, That's the big difference, is the mental side, because maybe a young guy does come in, right and he all of a sudden he's pushing you. But then it's your mental belief in yourself. It's the push. It's all those

We're getting super motivated in this pod right now. Boys.

I always wonder about that, like you just have a good point. Like I always wonder like, when is he going to be the point where someone does come in and challenge They will not challenge me, but so they do draft left tackle and I do you have like, Okay, this is the guy that's going to take over lawan spot. He's getting old, he's this that, Like I wonder how

I think that's the difference.

Like being motivated isn't like, you know, knocking someone down to take a step up. It's if you help everybody go up, like being the best time you learn is when you're teaching. So I'm helping that person whoever, whoever he is. You know, hopefully he's in diaperson. I'll be able to handle aver. If you called himself new Dell, we have to.

Fight, yea.

Yeah, the window right there I don't know if you guys have shared this yet, if you talked much about London Fletcher, but exactly what you're describing is exactly how London Fletcher treated you. Yeah, for sure, you know London Fletcher.

It's way easier to be that guy when you know you're gonna be a Hall of Famer or you know, like you've hit the top. It's those guys that you know had some success, was kind of consistent in that area, but never really got I think, did it big.

But you know, but London London was always that dude.

I know, I know you're saying because literally you're saying that, and I'm kind of thinking, like I was. It was hard sometimes to step out of my zone and help her Shawn for Sewan because I was kind of like, it's not like I know I'm going to be some Hall of Famer and I've already done what I've done in the NFL. It's like I knew they drafted a guy in the first round. I signed here to challenge and have a role on the team.

Yeah, but you can say that to be humble. But I remember last year when we talked and you were helping, you were helping Rashan.

Yeah, yeah, I definitely I definitely helped him, helping them.

In my mind, he's talking about battle.

Absolute yeah, absolutely right.

Like you're sitting there like do I want to do I want to fully help him because I want to play the spot he's playing.

But to me, to me this now you're talking about what legacy is. Right, So you didn't want to do it, but you did it. Something tells me if you ever get that feeling, you may not want to do it, but you just vocaliz you're gonna do it.

Yeah, I'm gonna do it.

And then you're gonna be home and you're gonna be touching that guy. You're gonna be like bro man, I had a hell of a run. I love this game. This game was good to me. And man, I'm watching, I'm enjoying what you're doing out there, and you're gonna know you're gonna have a piece of the next flip of that belief in him that caused him to go on and have a great career. That's what legacy is all about.

Yeah, yeah, it's just crazy. How like I'm twenty eight now, so I'm old as fuck, but I remember being like.

In high school, and I remember being like my first couple of years in college, even the end of college, and my first couple of years in the NFL, thinking like this is the only thing that matters. I think, how good like how you're known in football, and the older you get, you get married. He said that you have a kid like he realized, like just being you know, your character of who you are off the field is

The moment, Yeah, there is there a moment where that kind of clicks for you and you thought that way or is it kind of a combination or was there a conversation maybe a vet I know when you were telling me this sort about Whitworth and guys you look up to, like, was there ever a moment where you're like, yo, this is I'm changing my perspective or maybe a drive home and your listeners.

My I think my moment for me was after this last season, the twenty eighteen season, I hated football. I I really did not like playing the game at all. I didn't I was met at the coaches. I didn't get along with my offensive line coach. Me and Rabel got back got out a lot and I was like what the fuck? Like I was, I just I was like, how do because I told will Wi first mail, I'll play it forever, I don't even care, and I like, I still wanted to play more. But I was also

It was mine. Like I was the one that was being a cancer. I was the one that was self entitled.

Not necessarily people as like he's he wasn't a cancer. I know what you're saying, Yeah in your own mind.

My mind, in my mind, I guess more than anything, I was a cancer to myself right right, So like I wasn't going in the locker room like saying a bunch of stuff for any musicst in to that. But what I did do was I I did feel a little self entitled. I signed a big contract, and I felt, you know, I deserve this and I deserve that. Why are they treating me like this and not taking on

Me the words that they said. It has more to do everything that's going on with them.

And I was the guy saying fuck you the whole time because I was, you know, I felt all these things that I thought I deserved when and reality wasn't real, And so I had to start reading more. I started, you know, I actually like I had to get off my phone more. I had to like start doing things to make myself grow. And now I went in and these OTAs have been the most fun OTAs. The camp

But and so those things definitely helped me.

Kind of realize that it's not as important to have the accolades and stuff like that. It's more important when I leave this locker room whenever it is that these coaches and these players that I play with, said, man, Taylor is a good dude, Like he cared about the boys. You know, they'll their kids will hang out with my daughter and be like, yeah, my dad, my dad looked dead.

You know.

That's that's the ship. I was like, man, like, it's so important. It's so important to be It's not important that how people view you, but it's important to have peace in your own self right. You know, people people say, don't be so self centered. I think it's really important to be self centered, because what is self centerce we have the center of yourself, you know, and understanding like who you are and how what motivates you and your character. So, yeah,

That's what I hear that's why I hang out with that motherfucker.

Well, I kind of think I went all over the place too.

No, so here, here's what I captured in hearing that, and I would go even just a little bit deeper. Is the stories people are going to tell your daughter about how in year six you flip the switch where

Probably will, but I don't have an ego, right, But you know what I'm.

Saying, Like when it comes to your daughter, she may not get to see you in your prime, and your prime is right here, and embrace it like you never have before, because your daughter is watching every single move that you make. And that's not what I realize. Like with my mom, Like people are like, man, like your mom died eleven days for your eighth birth How do you remember any of this? And that's all I had, right, all I had was eleven days for my eighth birthday.

The thing is, it's not like the the blessing and the curse of like the mind is. It's not just like a oh, I've reached.

That level and that's it.

Like it's a constant maintenance and constant work. It like, stay on top of those things, right, bless them now. And if I if I don't, like you know, stay reading or or keep up on you myself or you know, I always my wife is such My wife is so smart, she's so incredibly intelligent, and she's she can break things down. And the story I loved telling is when I was in year two, after my second season, people are talking about replacing me, Matt Neely keyboard Warriors, probably saying we

Listen, Matt, I'm just kidding's now, you know that.

I yeah, that's always.

Been a fan.

But I do say that there are big titan faithful people that wanted me out. And I met my wife right.

After that offseason.

I met her June thirty July January thirty first a proposer five weeks later, and she helped me just like

That's what I was.

I was like, I gotta do this. I got to do foot both. I got to I was like strangling myself that it was actually holding me back. And once I let go and allowed myself to, you know, have a relationship like I do with my wife and you know, socially and everywhere else.

And I am more like a healthy version of all that.

Like I've sense that I made three Pro bowls in a row and it's just crazy and I have like we joke all the time. She goes, uh, the first contract that was yours, that second contract's mine.

I was like, you damn, You're damn right. She's awesome, man.

But it does it definitely puts things in perspective. And I say that when we talked about earlier, how you know, sometimes you got to fall, like you have that success, you got to fall to know how good that success tasted. Because my first year I didn't play the first five games, I still made All Rookie Team. I was a first round draft pick, and I felt like I was on top of the world.

Well after that.

Second season, I was like, I was like, holy shit, like I might be at a league in a couple of years. People are calling for my head and like that motivates you, it makes you want to be better. But I know now going through both those that someday, if you're going to be hey, you too old, Bud, You're too old, there's a faster kid out there that's gonna take your job. And if you don't stay on top of it, you know, you get last a year or two longer after that, but eventually it's gonna catch up to you.

Except for Tom Brady.

Yeah, yeah, no, no doubt, man, I think uh, I think that just kind of is relatable to everybody, that everybody constantly fucking goes through speed bumps. Right Like you're sitting there saying that, I'm thinking about my rookie year, like when I didn't get activated and I was on peace squad the whole year, and when I was like really bitter about it and pissed off that like when somebody tore their ACL they went out and got you know, somebody else to play special teams and not be the backup.

You called me week thirty. Every week from week thirteen on he was activated, the coach told him this, bro, this is the week. Yeah, literally from week thirteen on.

Hey, and I'd be so pissed off, and you had asked if I'm still doing the prize Frider day, like still check marking the boxes and the things that kind of got me to where I was.

I was a prize fighter day.

So I believe similar to what you just said about water in the plants, I share what I call a price fighter day. So it's doing things that are personal, professional athletic, or of service to others and make sure every day you're checking something in all those boxes that are one hundred percent in your control, putting all your effort in so you can say I won the day. And if you can stack winning those days, you can

Yeah, still find that balance too.

Yeah, I'm sure, sorry for sure. But all I'm saying is like you need those people in your life to check you and kind of like you got to look in the mirror, like, yo, okay, will are you doing these things that Ben asked you about? Like this year when I, you know, when stuff would go down with me and I had that injury and I was out for like four or five weeks, and you know, I wasn't having the most fun either, and kind of taking on my new role of being a guy in the

It's it's uh, I don't know, man.

People People have such a knack for feeling fucking sorry for themselves. It's a wild now, It's it's crazy. How if you just if you just took a moment and learned about yourself five minutes a day, sat there, didn't do anything, and you don't have to cross your legs and say, oh, you know, and meditation is in all forms. I could sit here like this for five minutes just kill myself. What's bothering me? Why is it bothering me?

Well?

This is going on distresses on me. Well I can't let that affect this. So I can go and you know, diffuse any situation and I'll let it build on top of itself.

But if you never take the time.

To learn anything about you, you're gonna always it's like blame other people. And if you blame other people, you're it's most of the time, if you're pointing at somebody else and it's your.

Fault, it's probably something you've done right, you know.

That's why it's so it's depression is a huge thing, and especially now in twenty nineteen, it's so huge because there's so many ways to not sit with yourself or it's almost mind numbing for people. You can get on social media and sit there on Twitter for hours, Instagram for hours and you never have to actually check in with the reality.

That's hurting you in the back end. Yeah, you know, one thing leads to another.

They keep compounding on top of each other and then people start blaming Well, you're just you're a fuck.

You're a football player and you live the best.

Like listen, I've had my own adversity with my family, Like I've grown up a certain way that I mean, they're you know, live and around. So I'm not going to like dive in you know, on a podcast about it. But you know, we've had We've had a lot of issues that I've had that I've had to work through. But it's not like I just came out of the room with a goal, with a cape on, with a conta.

Nothing goes on and we've done it everyone else.

It's just like it's it's like the more you feel sorry for yourself, the more you're gonna you're have more things to feel sorry for yourself about. So stop, like, stop complaining people. It's so easy to find things to complain about, and it's really it's really hard to.

Find things to be happy about. It's crazy.

If you on your if like people tell me the journal all the time, I really do need to start doing it. But if you just say five things a day, you're grateful for the positivity and it's the law of attraction and see it's the universe.

If you just if you.

Speaking positive, you speak in a positive tone all the time, it's gonna it's gonna end up that way. But if you're constantly shitting on yourself, whether it's a joke or not, you're gonna that you're gone, it's gonna come. It's gonna come get you people, gonna stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Yeah.

I always talk about the burn, as I mentioned earlier, and the burn is that underlying fire that really lights the purpose and the why, because I think there's a lot of guys talk about purpose and why and and it's like, well, man, I don't really know what those things are. Well, tell me what the burn is. Tell me like when you think about this, like taking no action is not on the other side of these thoughts, right.

Is this not?

Hey, help me understand the meaning of this. And then some people can make but people don't realize what you think about. You one hundred percent control your mindset. You can either control your mindset and say papers wrote about me, papers said this paper did that, or I mean, if we had more time, we could sit here and say, what did you really think about when the paper saw that? Right, there was some fire that said, man, I'm gonna go

It's a victim's mentality.

Absolutely, it's crazy.

Like I'll watch my daughter. I'll watch my daughter watch my wife, and my wife will go do something. It might she'll walk away and then the wind will come up behind her and pretend to do the same thing. And then they'll go the next thing, and like my she coughs, my daughter will be like like pretending to cough. Like the bean is she's a sponge. I mean it's not just the bean, it's everybody. But might call my daughter the bean for those.

Who are listening. She's a complete stuff. She's so awesome.

Did we drop the fucking gym today?

Is there anything else where we really need to hit on?

Yeah? Ben, you got anything else?

And then you want to do you have for people?

For people that do have connected with the things they've heard on this that they can follow you. What kind of social media is you got?

Yeah?

So at continued fight is uh is my social media?

That's the primary?

Well, that's that's Instagram, that's Twitter, and those are the most popular ones.

That's awesome.

What about a website?

Website is Ben Newman dot net, Okay dot net And if you go to b n C speakers dot com, you go to b n C speakers dot com, you'll find Big Willie over here, one of our speakers. We've been on the road. We've probably done thirty something speaking engagements together. And Will's a hell of a speaker. I told you I was joking that you couldn't get him off the stage. Yeah, but I'll tell you what, this is one of the most intelligent guys I've met. I

I appreciate it.

I'll go looking for a new friend, doing good.

Joe hyping me up. There's an Alabama transfer. It was that long snapper. He came from Bama.

Yup, Scott, he's a band now, Yeah, Scott.

He came up to me when we were there working on He's like, hey, do you know Ben Newman? And I was like, yeah, I know Newman. He's like, Yo, He's talked about you a lot. Man Like it was probably it was a really cool thing. Knowing he transferred from there and came from somewhere I've never even been, and knowing that you probably you know, said say these nice things. I really appreciate it.

Well.

I remember one of the linebackers from Bama before the National Championship last year, you mentioned on an elevator somewhere.

Yeah, it was cool. He say. We were at the Pro Bowl. J Mosley's brother cousin Jamie.

Yeah, brother, and we.

Were on the elevator at the Pro Bowl and he said the same thing, like you know Ben Newman. I was like, yeah, I know Ben. That's my boy. He's like, man, he always comes to Baman and says a lot of great stuffcause'mitting there thinking, I always get curious, knowing you're about to go in another locker room, what is going to be the feedback just because you know you stepped in the sports world, not like that long ago, like I what five however long seven years ago?

Now twenty thirteen was the first time.

I'm always wondering, like when you step in these new life locker rooms, like how guys are going to take some of this stuff in. I always get curious. I know how I took it in, But you know, there's a sometimes there's levels of think you know, think about it.

There's two things going through my mind that I that I got to share before we stop. First one is every message has to be different. When coach Climbing went from North Kota State and he went to Kansas State and we sat down because he would always have me develop a theme for the season, right, and this season it's pound the Stone. I've never used pound the Stone

This train got I gotta put it out.

Go ahead.

Sorry. So he calls me the day before I'm supposed to get there and he says, Bro, he goes, there's something really bad with my hamstrings. So I get there. Turns out we didn't know and at the time he had a torn hamstring. So he comes from practice, he says, meet me at the Team hotel. And I'm thinking I'm just gonna be hanging out at training camp, and it's like, oh man, we got to go work. So we meet

Thank you. That's unbelievable at continued fight. Appreciate you wolves. Go out there and be a fucking wolf today. That's all I fucking got man BUSTINWTV dot com, follow, subscribe, rate the pod five stars, go have a tremendous day, and, as your dad says, big hugs and the tiniest of kisses.