Welcome to Buns and Banter, a podcast by work Busties for work Busties. Hey, I'm Lauren and I'm Ali. We're both morning show hosts for iHeartMedia. We're both millennials, and we're both trying to figure out how to build the lives we dream about, dating, marriage, career, career, and being a mom, how to get through a week without crying. Welcome to Buns and Banter. We're glad you're here. Oh m, you came with your notes again. I'm so impressed. I love it. I love the
you have physical paper notes. Well, So backstory on this first thing. Lauren and I both work at iHeartMedia. We're both morning show hosts. Says that every time in our little like intro or whatever. So we have a lot of bosses and like the podcast. It's different than like our on air shifts and like our morning shows and stuff. Oh yes, but our boss has been asking about the podcast, which freaked me out quite frequently lately,
which I'm like, are we in trouble? I guess first thought, But I actually I think it's a good thing, and I think he really he wants to help us sort of like figure out what our niches, and you know, when you've positioned a lot of radio stations and you know, sort of done radio marketing and broadcasting for thirty plus years, it's helpful to like hear that kind of bus out. And he listened to an episode and we don't know which one. I don't know which one, and he was like,
well, I'm not the target? Why am I? Which I thought was was a very PC way. I did ask him point blank. I was like, did we scare you? And he was like, no, no, I just it's probably not a podcast I would seek out as a
sixty five year old man. And I was like, okay, well, you know that's not really I mean, I'm not saying that we don't have sixty five year old man to our sixty five year old men, because I know that we do, but yeah, like not the so so we kind of talked for a little while and we were kind of talking about what we want the podcast to be, and you and I keep going back to this lifestyle from different life spaces, yes, which I really think hits the nail
on the head conversations we can't have on the air exactly. And that was his takeaway. He was like, you guys are really talking about stuff that you can't talk about on the air. So yeah, using language we cannot use on the air, absolutely not. But the FCC don't give a shit about podcasts. So here we are. That's another T shirt. That's another T shirt. So I've got some burning questions, oh my god, that we definitely would not be able to answer on our respective morning shows, but
we're doing it on bunds of banter today. I did not know this, by the way. Yeah, this is a this wuttle surprise. I'm comfortably close. So this is just like I've got I've I've got a few of these. Okay, we'll see. Let's just see how it goes. I love it, answer honestly and we can. Do you want to do like one two three we both answer at the same time, or do you want me to read them and then you answer and let's try the one two three? I love the chaos, okay. Most likely to sleep with a friend's
ex you me for sure. I don't say that badly, it's just I would make sure it was okay. I just think people are very drawn to you and you can't help who it is. I obviously like I wouldn't do anything shady, but you know, we all have needs. I'm a very loyal Libra friend. Yes, like I will die defending my friends, but like, if you're okay with it, and these are I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Anyways, who is most likely to falsely use a disabled parking space? You? I? Oh, I don't know. Maybe I
can't imagine you doing that at all. I can't. I did it when I was pregnant ones, That's why. And I feel really bad, but not because not falsely, Like I do think that pregnant women should have a spot closer to the door. I felt bad though, because they did. I just missed the signage. It was literally like a handicapped spot and an expectant mother spot. But this was third trimester. Do you remember my ankles? I could barely walk. And that's the only reason why I say that.
That's the only reason they don't come for me. I really I never use those I know. These are these are spicy. These are spicy questions. Okay. Most likely to have a crush on a friend's parent you me? Obviously, I know. I was reading some of these before and I was like, this is gonna be easy. This is so fun. Who's most likely to commit murder me? I would say such a short fuse. I'm an emotional aries you, and you watch all of those crime shows,
so I feel like i'd get away with it. You're like, yeah, you feel very confident that you'd be like, this is fine. I'd tell you about it though. Yeah, i'd help loyal, But in terms of legally speaking, I've never met her a day in my life. So okay. Who has the worst music taste? I wouldn't say worst. I would just say our music. Our tastes and music are different, super different. I probably have a very eclectic taste that sometimes people don't love. I do
too, but like in a different way. I like oldies, you do, but we like different oldies. Yeah, Like you are all the Debbie Harry yeah, and Whitney Houston yeah yeah right, and my Powerhouse women, especially Selene Heart. Oh, Selene is the songbird of our generation. I could spend a whole episode. I could maybe sing to Selene, Oh my god. I know, okay, I know, but like you want to turn on some CCR or like some queen see yeah, see, we both
have great taste in music. I feel like Selene, I feel like that's kind of a pre wreck to work in our business, Like, yeah, you have to be a fan of a lot of different kinds of music because you don't really go into radio with a like, oh I want to work in Top forty, or oh I want to work in country, or oh I want to work in because working in all of it, you're doing it all. You're doing it all, like you have to have you have to be a fan of all of it. This one's funny. Who needs to
be medicated? Both? So if you know someone anyways who is not but should be, who would be the worst in an emergency? She would As long as no bones are sticking out of your body, she'd be fine. All right. But remember when I ran out of gas? I was so vulnerable. Yeah, actually that was like right after the podcast last week, Lauren pulled out of the garage. I left like a twenty minutes after her. Yep, and I get a phone call, Hey, I ran out
of gas in the Maserati thought I had one more trip. Not the Maserati's fault. It definitely told me, girl, you're not getting anywhere, and I ignored it. I do that too, though I will wait until my car is past e. Yes so calm, and a murder so not calm in an emergency. Here we go. This person shows traits of a serial killer, but like the good traits, I'm charismatic, I'm trustworthy. The good traits quote unquote got it organized? Who would wear a band T shirt
without knowing the band? Ali? I would, yep, I would you such a cute band style. I don't believe in that you have to like name three songs when you have a band T shirt on. Like, maybe I just liked the T shirt. Okay, maybe I discovered Maybe someone discovers Nirvana because they saw the T shirt at Target, and like then they become obsessed with ner It's just like, let people have their T shirts. This
person does not wear socks with shoes. Both of us have done it, but you currently not wearing you sucks And I feel so bad too, because you told me two episodes ago, because you've gotten a bit more cash in the studio now and you were like, take your shoes off. I said I would never. I don't wear socks and shoes, and I'd probably kill you. Laurna and I both have juicy toes. Too. That's a nice visual for someone someone and you can Venmo's five dollars. Who do you think
has the highest body count? You me? I mean? I yeah, yeah, not bad. I just I've been I've been not stuck, but in a loving relationship with mine for so long. Yeah, and let me tell you these past few years, they've been pretty dry. They've been pretty dry, not for a lack of trying, right, just I will tell you though, that two year hiatus I took from Chris. If we're talking a media body count, it's a respectable number. Oh take some runs after
some events. Oh wow, that's I don't know if it's everyone was single. I don't like to ship where I eat. I did that. I did that for a while. You know that I did that for a while, and I'll never do it again. Never. If I'm in a relationship with someone and we like start a business together, that's different. Mind your business. But I will never like be working someplace and be like, oh, there's a new person in sales that I think I'm going to take a run at. No, uh, don't do it. Uh shove me off
the fire escape. Oh I would this person would start a fight unprovoked. I would. I was just about to say I would. Yeah, I back you up. Sometimes you just like you're so confident, I know that whatever happened was to you, not from you, And I'd be like, I'm here to throw down, yeah, unprovoked, Like I'm not just gonna walk out on the street and like throw a sucker punch, but like you know, if I see an underdog or someone that needs help, oh, I'm in it, baby, Yeah, I'm in it. That's your good
samaritan self. Yeah, most likely to get a sugar daddy. I mean we both need one, right, So I am consider this our application. I was like, I'm not ashamed to say it. Even Chris would probably be like absolutely, babe, Yeah yeah. Who relies on their mom for everything? I don't know. You talk to your mom a lot. I talk to my advice every single day, but I don't like rely on her to make like doctor appointments or oh yeah no, no, you know, but like I'm super close with my mom, So I'll take that one.
Yeah. I think that's good. It's like the it's the therapy we can afford, which is free. Yeah, sorry, mom, who would have been lobotomized in the fifties, me same. I think we both would have been very very group, right, Okay. Most likely to swear at a child. Oh god, it's so hard not to you. I've gotten much better, but oh man, we were we were looking at a house yesterday and Will walks and he goes, whoa look at all this shit. I
was like, no, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. It's like funny though when they swear, but like usually when it's in the proper context. Yeah, it's like so sad. I know which I should not have children? I really shouldn't. Who's most likely to prefer the kids pop version of songs? No, neither, I can't neither I have kids, And I'm like, absolutely not. And you know what this next one? I know neither of us would do this unless we were specifically asked. Most likely to
show up wearing white to a wedding. Oh no, no, not even like huh uh, Like sometimes when people show up at a wedding with like a lighter dress with like a print on it. Yeah, I'm even like, what are you doing? Yep? I won't even go Like, even if you asked me to show up in white, I'd still go cream I don't think I could do it. You'd go cream, I'd be it'd be so weird to be like going in a white dress to a wedding. I don't know. I don't think I could do it. I don't think any
of the light neutral colors are in play. If I was asked by the bride to go in white, oh, I see, the closest i'd get is cream. Oh. Otherwise, like I'm dark, most likely to commit arson. I mean, it'd be a dual effort. Yeah, I was gonna say either one of us, but the other one would would be there to make sure that you stayed safe and that we got out of there correctly. But again, we've never met. I don't know her. I don't even know what fire is. Yep, you run north, I run south.
This person will die alone. It'll be me. Lauren has kids and a husband. I have a dog who will probably eat my body if I she would. I think, if you know maybe though. See, that's one that is one of my biggest fears is that I'm gonna take a tumble down my stairs when I'm alone, break my neck, and I'm dead. In there for a couple of days and Fran is like sorry, I would find you in within hours. There's a lot of meat on these bones,
delicious meat. Most likely to accidentally join a cult me, I feel like it would be you. I am so gullible, so gullible. I think I would love the feeling of group togetherness. I don't think you're gullible. I think you just really love a group activity activity. If that's like taking the stairs to Heaven, I'm in. If we're all going together, it's
so fun matching outfit. And will there be wine because then there's no like you're never getting her back in. And last, but certainly not least most likely to start a cult you Me, you're so again confident and charismatic, and I think you'd have a fun cult. I don't think it'd be a bad one. And it'd be like a good You'd be like a good cult. It'd be very life affirming. Mm hmm. Yeah, it would be very you know, like, uh, what's it self help? Self help?
If you've never seen that episode of Shit's Creek where they accidentally joined the cult by going to the exercise class, that's how you'd get me. And I'd be like, this is the greatest place with the greatest people. Yeah, so they were Oh that was good, burning questions for buns and banter. That was very on point too. I think we should do this like every once in a while. Yes, I feel very good about my answers, like I'm self aware of my issues, which is really important. Yeah,
I feel like we really know each other. Yeah, okay, so can I make Can I do an update about my thumb? Yeah? Elliot hurts so bad if you follow me on TikTok. I gave the story a couple of days ago. We got to go on a trolley ride for the Grand Rapids International Wine, Beer and Food Festival, so fun, which is so delish, And I wanted to look cute, so I wore a body suit and I just we need to talk about bodysuit battles for a minute.
You looked snatched. Well, I appreciate that. I think that was part of the problem, because the reason I looked snatched is because I bought this bodysuit that had compression built in because I needed some I need some help in the mid section. It's okay, it's I like to feel good in what I'm wearing. Yea. So if you're not aware of how a bodysuit works. It's a onesie for grown ass people, and so most of the time it snaps in the undercarriage area. Here's the messed up thing, though,
the snaps like on a infant onesie. Yeah, it's the same snaps. Yes, they don't like they're not reinforced for an adult body, they're not no upgraded, they're not designed for adult hands, and they're the same. I just though's so wild to me that it's the same for an infant on like a middle aged woman's garment. Yes I'm not calling you middle aged because you're you're not, but I'm just saying that I will burn this place to the ground. Arson. So we're at the end of this trolley ride.
We've had all these great like foods and bethies, and I finally have to pee. I held on the whole trolley ride and we're talking nine am to four pm. I did not break the seal. We get to our final stop and we were going to do a wine tasting, so I wanted to like give myself some room, empty out the tank, and I'm going to resnap this child's onesie on myself, and the compression shot back so hard it
tore my thumbnail off. I was in the stall next to her when this happened, and I was out like washing my hands or whatever, and I heard her go, oh wow, So I was thinking the worst. I thought that the I thought something had happened and you're undercarriage with the snaps yuh huh. Yeah, I thought the body esuo, gotcha? It did? It did? Then you didn't come out for a while, and I was like, I don't know if I should leave and give her a minute,
or if I should stay in here in case she needs help. It hurt. It is one of the most painful things I've had happened, top five for sure, and I'm not trying to be dramatic. It tore the whole like now the bed is exposed, which is super sensitive. It bled, it bled the whole time we were sitting there. So I like drank my wine while I was like covering my thumb because I didn't want anybody to know,
wh would you cut your thumb well. I couldn't get her to roma cooch well enough and now like two days later, it is still throbbing. I like, you can't touch things, you can't hit, but it is the dumbest fashion injury I've ever had. And it's like that, like, oh, how did you hurt yourself? I broke a nail. I know it's not even good, but it's bad. Oh, it's so terrible. And I did this on the air on one of my shows, and it got this fascinating phone call. His name is Kevin and he's a former marine.
Ooh, and he's like, oh, let me tell you about this wardrobe malfunction. And I've never been taken behind the ropes of our military before. And he I couldn't recognize the word he used, but within the marine's uniform. And if we have anybody that's in the service, or wasn't the service listening, please correct me, you know, in the comments or whatever if you can. But your like shirt tails are connected through your pants to like your socks, so that everything is held in together. There was a
word for whatever this piece of garment is. Your shirt is connected to your socks. Yeah, is the way he was describing it to me. And he goes, so a lot of times this thing will snap up. Oh, it's so tight it'll rip your leg hair out. Oh. And so he's like a lot of times like you'll either see people with just waxed legs so they don't have to deal with it because you're constantly like if you're in your dress blues and things like that, that's when you have to wear it.
And I was like, Kevin, I would already thank you for your service, but even more so now knowing that little tidbit of knowledge, doesn't that sound awful? I think, Oh, it'll just He's like, so I can't even commy times I've just had leg here ripped right out in the middle of a ceremony. Oh my, I know, because then I felt really bad hearing a marine talk about that when I'm like, my thum hurts.
Howie, that is fascinating? That interesting? Wow. I knew there was a lot that went into military uniforms, and I'm like, wow,
do you ever watch like military TikTok? I don't you should? It sounds fascinating because like the things that they like, they'll like they get ready with me are super super fascinating because sometimes it's guys, sometimes it's girls, but sometimes they just like are filming tiktoks, like on base or like certain places, and I'm like, is this a national security issue, like, should you guys right be doing this like filming from inside whatever you're in. I
don't even know, but but get ready with me military on TikTok. Yeah, that's a good that's a good, good suggestion of never speaking of wardrobe. Oh no, not malfunctions. But I'm just like a little bit nervous about it. I'm going to a wedding this weekend with a guy that I have been seeing, oh yeah for a little over a month. Now, I'm just gonna hard launch it. Uh. And I got a dress and you know, I love to rent a dress. You're so good at it
too, you find the best stuff. I rent clothes every single month. Shout out to Newly. This is not sponsored, but it could be if you want it to be, so you let me know. So I get a dress from Newly and it looks so cute. And I love renting a dress because people will post pictures of them in the dress so you can sort of get a feel for, like what it looks like on an actual,
real human body. Thank you. And they tell you how much they weigh and how tall they are and what shape their body is and if they have sized up or sized down it's great. It's awesome. So the reviews were like, you probably want to size down. I'm cutting it close right, like, I'm leaving tomorrow. This stress arrived yesterday, so I don't really have a lot of time to like make another move or pivot if this doesn't
work right. It fits. It's kind of a puffier sleeve cute, and it's cut like so I posted a picture of this on my Facebook page. You can kind of see it in the picture. But I texted my mom and my sisters like, do you notice anything weird about this dress? The sleeve connection to the actual dress is right in the middle of my nipple. Oh, it's like not wide enough up top. Yeah, which also makes
it impossible to wear a bra. This is the first time I am meeting this man's mother, Oh, my mother, cousin, cousin's new wife, like his entire family. Hey, and I've got like, oh, look at this now. While you're talking about it, my mom and my sisters say that you can't tell, and I'm like, well, I'm not gonna
be able to wear a bra. And this dress is like it's a darker floral, but it's really thin material, Okay, And I just I don't want to be Hey, remember that girl you brought to the wedding who you could see right through her dress to her nipples. Oh, I think that's really cute. So this is exactly I love that pattern. This is exactly what I thought you were describing, because I was just talking about this with
a friend of mine the other day. Yeah, this is a new style where the like whatever you call them, the pleats, the lineage whatever. I notice it on a lot of the National Morning shows too on TV really, and they can sit really awkwardly and you almost have like a fembot look. Yes, yes, and it's the style. I don't think you have that here though, because I think with the pattern it's not. These are
like like some of the solid color ones I notice. I'm like, oh my goodness, it is drawing all of your attention into and then your nipple is there because you can't wear a bral Like you said, Yeah, this is cute. I think this is really cute, and I don't notice that. Is it girl cute though? Or is it like everyone will think it's cute, Because that's the other thing that I'm worried about. I'm like asking him all of these questions. I'm like, well, what's the dress code,
where's the wedding gonna be? And of course they never have any good information. I'm like, well, what are you wearing. He's like, well, I'm wearing a suit because I'm an usher in the wedding. I'm like, oh, you're in the wedding. Oh that's brand new information, right right, right, Okay, I'll just I'll figure it out. That is, everybody will think it's cute, cute one hundred percent, and it's
like, you don't you don't wanna thank you. M That makes me feel a little bit better, But you know, like you want to make like a good first impression. So it's tough to try to find something where it's like it's not only just like you're the guest to a wedding that you you're someone's plus one. Yeah, So that's like a layer. Then the other layer is like, I'm meeting your entire family for the first time, so
this is their first impression of me. I think it is actually a very perfect choice because the other thing, like what I would be so nervous about, which always happens with my dresses, is the low cutness. Yeah, and I don't like, I'm not here to be rolling in, you know, looking like a fresh mom that's still getting a lot of the milk up top, Yeah, which is what tends to happen for me in dresses. And I don't really mind something that's super low cut because I don't have huge
boobs. Yeah, so like I feel like I can get away with it, like I've got small boob privilege. That is beautiful though. I think that's a really really good choice for exactly the event you just described. Oh I am, I think great a man, right, Like you literally can't wear the wrong just don't wear jeans to the wedding, right exactly. But there's also like a rehearsal dinner involved in this too, which of course we're going up for because he's an usher in the wedding and like his cousin is
like his brother. So I'm like, oh, that's another outfit. I gotta figure out. This is very awesome and intense at the same time. It's awesome and intense, awesome and intents. What would you wear to a rehearsal dinner where you don't know anybody and you don't know what the dress code is? And I also don't know if it's like a rehearsal dinner, rehearsal dinner, because that can mean so many things these days, or if it's
like a welcome dinner. We had a super casual reception rehearsal dinner, you did, Yeah, like we did it one of my favorite restaurants in Grand Ledge that's like a bar also and had this great back room, like woodsy, huge fireplace like Redwoods of Northern Califield, very very chill. Like you could have worn jeans, but I think a rehearsal dinner you get away with like a really cute pantsuit pants suit. Yeah, I think so for a rehearsal dinner. Oh geez, Okay, I was thinking jeans. Oh,
I think you could. But see, I don't know, because I don't know the level of niceness. You're right, I don't know either. I don't know either. And I was like, well, what are you gonna wear? I asked him, and he was like, probably like just like pants and a button up. And I'm like, but you can wear that to literally any situation and look appropriate, whereas if I wear jeans to an event that I'm not supposed to wear jeans to. Yeah, I'll stick out
like a sort thumb. Would you rather be overdressed than underdressed? No? I would rather be the right amount. Yes, if I had to skew one way or the other, I'd rather be overdressed than underdressed to any situation anytime. But it's gonna probably be chilly. If everyone's wearing jeans and I show up in a dress that's trying you hard. Yeah, I wouldn't go. Oh, I don't know. I wouldn't go dress if you like, do you know the venue this rehearsal dinner is at? No, my god,
this man of yours? What are we supposed to do? I know? And like he's traveling this week, so I feel like I can't ask. I'm like trying not to blow up his phone. But it's like an out of town wedding too, so it's not like I can like I have to bring oh a girl. I would have my back seat full of everything I owned, roll up, peek in the window of whatever you're at, look at someone, and then go and change in the bathroom. Is exactly how I'd handle this, I know. And I'm like, well, where
are we staying? And he's like, oh, with my family and my family's house. Like, oh much, of course we are. I know, I knew that. I know. Yeah, this is zero to one hundred zero. I don't hate it, zero to one hundred got it handled. I have a badass, Yeah, I do. I think so you do love the dress. I think whatever you figure out for Friday night will be I think you could go, like even a dark Dunham that I know
you have. That's always classic. Okay, oh yeah, okay, yeah, like black jeans aren't actually gens no god, no, no count that is formal. Man. We're meant to be dunhim on Dunham like Canadian tuxedo people. I love Dunham on Dennel. It's fabulous. You looked on the trolley ride we were just talking about. You looked absolutely phenomenal. Dunna Dunham Unham. Never again will I be wearing a body suit that snaps the way that it did. I don't can't do worse than that for your rehearsal dinner.
We have sent people to the moon, but we cannot figure out how to innovate the woman's bodysuit underlying problem there. Oh woman, I don't get it. I know it's twenty twenty three. Give me something that snatches me up in a healthy, non destructive way. It doesn't seem to be hard. Yeah, Like I really thought, like, where's spanks? Where are you guys? That's a good point because I feel like, for a second there it was like innovation after innovation after innovation, and now like I haven't
heard anything in a minute. It's like we've hit a wall. I do. I get that you've got your jeans, but I'm looking for something that is a bit closer, closer to the bone, that's not a snap like can we but like also a zipper feels dangerous? Yes, yeah, I'm not really sure what velcrow? Oh if it can? If it? Because the last thing I need is both of my onesie tails to pop out of my jeans in a moment. Yeah. Ah, today's episode brought to you
by being so hard to be a woman. We really need like a shapewear sponsor, please or something. I love it. I'm down. You'd help the wedding, you'd help the rehearsal, you'd help the day to day. Never again would I be walking around with a bloody thumb and a story that doesn't match the gnarly injury, and that is going to take a while for your nail to grow out and protect whatever is hanging out of there. God, it's something right. I'm actually assuming some kind of infection will make its
way and and that's how I go. Of course, So I have signed you over as part beneficiary of my very little work benefits here. You're welcome. I will take wonderful care of Will and Sophia. Chris, I feel like maybe he might, you know, have to. He's fine, figure it out. Yeah, he's he's totally fine. Yep. Yeah, he'd probably tell me. He told you so, bab that body suit was a little tough. Yeah, we're good, but I would like your headphones, so