He Welcome to Buns and Banter, a podcast by work Busties for work Busties. Hey. I'm Lauren and I'm Ali. We're both morning show hosts for iHeartMedia. We're both millennials, and we're both trying to figure out how to build the live speed dream about dating, marriage, career, career, and being a mom, how to get through a week without crying. Welcome to Buns and Banter. We're glad you're here. Have a great day. Oh my gosh, you came like blasting in here in a great way, in
a super excited way. And I really want to know why I am so much for us to talk about today. You printed notes. I have notes printed and one of these I am so excited to get your feedback on. And the other one do you see? Oh I thought we got rid of that in Miss Again. We did, but there are still twenty one states. Okay, So what do you want to start with? Do you want
to start with the tampon tax? Yes? Because I am outraged. I also just like anytime that there might be a man listening and we say tampon, they're like ooohoo, So yes, please, Yes, there is a new tax refund coming. For decades, people who use tampons have been fighting against taxes on tampons and other feminine hygiene products, and now they've been joined by a slew of company who make them. Nice. So this is actually
the companies. A few companies that make feminine hygiene products have come together and they have said, hey, we think the tampon tax is bullshit. We don't think that you guys should get taxed on stuff that you literally have to use every single month. Because ain't nobody out here wanting to free bleed. Sorry, no, there's not graphic. We don't. Yeah, So they have come together to form the Tampon Tax Coalition. Oh my gosh, a lot of states, Michigan, where we are included in this, has banned
gotten rid of it, has gotten rid of it. Governor Whitmer, our governor here in Michigan, signed a bill repealing the tampon tax back in twenty twenty one, and it was like supported on both sides. It was bipartisan. And this says that in Michigan, it saves families from paying taxes on up to forty eight hundred dollars of spending over the course of a lifetime. So that's wow, like five grand that you spend over a lifetime just on
being a woman having a period and buying feminine hygiene products. Meanwhile, I think the whole thing here is that not to put this like, I don't ever want to pit men against women, but I think the thing is here, things like rogane and viagra, which are used primarily by men. Hold up, they are not taxed. Rogaine isn't taxed. Men trying to look younger by painting their hair isn't taxed. Are you kidding? I did not know that they are considered medical necessities. Oh no, I'm sorry. I'm
thinking of just for men. Roguan grows it right, yes, still stand by it. They don't get taxed for that. And I do know there are a lot of women that I have seen on social media that are now using rogain because like it grow your it'll grow your eyebrows back. Yeah, I had no idea, So they're not. So twenty one states in the US are still taxing period products because they're non essential goods. That's how they're
classified. Meanwhile, products like rogan and viagra are considered medical necessities, so this tampon tax coalition. I've come together to basically say this is bullshit. We're collectively taking a stand against the tax or the tampon tex August of twenty twenty three. The coalition was built to expand impacts. So if you are buying from participating brands August, Cora, Diva, here we Flow the Honeypot, here, Lola Salt or Rayel Rayale, I'm not exactly sure how to
rail. They'll reimburse you for any tampon tax that you pay. That's nice, but just these companies. So here's the deal. You gotta sign up with your phone number on tampon tax Let me get the let me get make sure I get the website correct. This is I'm glad we have a video component because if you could see my eyes rolling out of my head right now. With the row game Tampon taxback dot com. You just have to like
put your phone number in. You do have to submit receipts for the purchases of the participating brands, which again are August and Cora on the Honeypot and Lola and whatever. Yeah, but then you'll get a refund back in forty eight hours or whatever tax you for forty eight hours too. Yeah, leave it to women to be on top and timely. That's insane. I thought that was amazing. That's really cool. I'm so sorry. I'm just still
gobsmacked by the rogain thing. I knew the viagra thing. I did not know growing hair is considered essential while something that keeps my clothes and those around me clean is not. You know, I don't even. I don't. I'm not like super familiar with what is taxed and what's not tax Like, I guess I didn't realize that things like viagra or things like rogaine, like we're not. I knew viagra wasn't well because like you have to have a
prescription for those things. It's not like you can buy. Do you have to have rogain? You can buy over the counter, can't you? Yes? Is viiagraph prescription though it's not OTC. I don't know, so we don't need it. No, I'm just but no, I don't. I don't know. That's that's a good point. But I I did know that they were not taxed, and it's just been like driving this force where it's like what what Because when you talk inflation, especially, I mean if you've
seen the price of some of the feminine hygiene products lately. Oh yeah it is, Oh, it is up a lot, and then you put that tax on there. It's like, I don't know, Maybe I do move to a commune for one week every month and join my fellow sisterhood and we
just bask in our glory. Yeah, because it ain't cheap. So if if we call you and ask you to pick us up a box of tampons or pads or pantyliners or whatever, and you choose that opportunity to gripe about these this is your stuff, you need to pay for it, that would be that I would advise you just pick it up and don't say a word. Can I tell your relationship red flag? Because Chris has never done that. He's never picked up you never said no, Okay, because I had?
I did. I dated a guy once and we were together for a decent amount of time and he was so weird and actually rude about it, and I'm like, if you can't handle this, there is absolutely no way you can handle what's going to be thrown to us. And if you don't, you can't hit me at my worst, at my thickest, at my raddest you do not deserve me at my best. I agree, And Chris is number He's he does have to FaceTime me. He'll FaceTime me in the mire and be like, there's just a lot of boxes and sizes here,
baby, right. I appreciate that. Thank you. Yes, And you've got to get your brand and you've got to get your size and you've got it. There's just there's a lot that goes into it. So anyways, that got my click this week online. I like that. I thought that that was very very cool and I would like to applaud these brands August Cora Diva, here we float the Honeypot, Lola Salt, and rael are Ael for coming together to form the Tampon Text Coalition. Three cheers, whoop,
woop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. hYP Hey peay love it. Yeah, that's a good click. Oh my god. And I just love that you printed things off. Yeah, I'm still I'm still working off of the Instagram. Because I saw this, I actually wanted to talk to you about maybe the differences in our lives outside of work. Yeah, so because we talk a lot about this, what Ali and I really love about
hanging out and especially doing this together. Is that all of these things we talk about lots of times will agree and then lots of times it's not that we disagree. We just have such different life spaces that we're in that it's an interesting conversation. Yeah, and so I follow Mel Robbins. I think we're both big fans. I love her motivational speaker, author, podcaster. She has just I think, really really great advice about a lot of things.
And she has talked a lot about her hashtag do it anyway, Oh, big bang, big band, And usually I put that into more of a professional scope, but this past week, I'm going to Vegas in a couple of weeks. Yeah, and I want to feel good. You know, I'm going to be wearing dresses and bathing suits and I'm going to be in warmer weather again. And so I started, I started like trying to
run ough and it looks as terrible as it feels. I mean, I am just I will never be a bit fluencer because I just I look like a broken windmill when I run. My legs stick out, I've got weird knees. It's not good. But it was the other night, it was raining, it was cold, it was dusk, and I thought, you know what, Mel Robbins says, do it anyway, because she has a whole series about how, you know, I don't want to go to the gym, but I do it anyway because at the end of it, I
feel good. It's not about fixing my rolls or fixing anything about me. So I went and I walked like three quarters of it, and then I ran a quarter of it and I did feel really good about it. You did, I did? I got done, and I said, you know what, that actually was a very solid moment of self care for me. But being in a marriage and a family with kids, I feel guilty that
my self care comes at the expense of someone else. So in order for me to do that, I had to make sure that Chris was down with cleaning up, dinner, doing bath, bedtime, books, homework, all
of it. Yeah, for me to go and do that, And I feel sometimes I feel like I missed the opportunity to build these habits when I wasn't married or a mom, because I feel like I had more time back then, like I had more spontaneity where I could be like, oh, I'm going to go run because it does make me feel better and it's great for my mental health, versus can I go run because I know that it's been a super crazy day and you've done a ton and then I'm leaving you
with all this stuff, which he'd be the first one to be like, no, go do it. You do, Like, I can tell that you are in a much better mood when you come back. But then I slip into that guilt. Right. Do you have that at all in your single life right now? Yes, because and this is something that we have talked about before, you did not have more time when you were single. I do not have more time as a single person as opposed to someone in
a relationship or with kids. We all have the same twenty four hours in a day, so like it it's a it's a little bit triggering for me when people who are in relationships and have kids and have relief full they're like, oh, you have way more time than me, or like even people who talk about our jobs, we get out a lot earlier than people do from there nine to five, yeah, Like we're out half the time when they're going to lunch where we work afod to noon yeah, and there they're
saying like, oh my gosh, you have so much more time in your day. No, I don't. I don't have more time in my day. I have the same twenty four hours that you have. Right, it's just a different allocation of time structured do you have? You have priorities or things that you choose to prayrioritize your kids. It's a good priority, right, mostly, right, Like keeping them alive is a huge priority, whereas like someone like me who's single. I mean, I like, my priorities
are different. I don't have two huge priorities that come before my every need you do. But I totally understand and relate to the guilt that you feel because it's just it's other things that should be made a priority that I'm not making a priority. So it's just not kids, right, So you still feel like there are moments where you're pouring from an empty cup because you are not always putting yourself as a priority. Yeah, okay, one hundred percent.
One hundred percent. Like there are times where, for example, we've got like six events in a day that we've got to do after our regular on air stuff. Yeah, and it's like, well, I'm not working out today, I'm not going for a walk today. I'm barely even feeding myself today because I don't have time, nor is that my priority today. My priority is not me today. My priority is my job and my clients
and my performance. It's interesting. It's interesting because I being friends with you and talking through these things I think has definitely changed a lot of the unfair perspective I had to people that didn't have as much quote unquote you know as I feel like sometimes I do, you know, like, well, I've got my two kids that I have to like, feed, clothe, take to school, and then I have like my husband, who I need to make sure that there's time for to work on our relationship and make sure we're
fulfilling each other's needs on top of this professional side of things and this work life balance is just not an actual thing for anybody, despite the fact that we still love to say that term. Yeah, but it's it is still similar for you and I don't I don't want to be diminishing of you having kids or saying like, no, we do have the same amount of hours in the day. You don't have an excuse as to why you're not working
out. That's not what I mean. I just mean, like it when people will come to me, or to single people in general, and they'll say things like, oh, well, so and so they've got to get to their kids baseball games, So can you pick up this extra project at work? We have talked about that, or like, oh, well, they can't make this event because you know, they have to go out of I also have a family. I also have a family. I just don't have children that came out of my body. I have nieces and nephews.
I want to go to their soccer games and their recitals and their stuff. And it's like, oh, well, you know you don't have kids, so yeah, and it's like such a I just don't And I don't know. I realize that they that is your priority and it should be, and people with kids they have to balance things differently. I just don't feel like
I should pick up the slack. I'm more than happy to be a team player and to like help someone out and do them a favor, but there are also going to be times where like I need help and like I need favors to Now you extend the favor to me. And did you know? Did you know that men who have families, are married with children are typically higher earners than women who have families and children, because it's a it's a view that oh, well, he's got a family, he needs to provide
for them. But when it's talking about giving women more money with families and children, it's used in the exact opposite way, and it's well, they're not going to be able to perform because they have so much other stuff going on with their families and their kids. I cannot remember what study I will. I will find that study so I can reference it. But sounds I know that, Bata, I know that we've talked about that on this podcast before, and that to me, I just feel like, is it says
a lot. It says a lot the minute a man has as a wife and has kids, all of a sudden, it's oh, well he needs a promotion or whatever. He's still it's still the provider stigma, right,
It's the provider stigma, and we are still as women. I just I love I love that statement made where it's like you are supposed to work like you don't have a family and parent, like you don't have a job, and it goes I feel like it goes right back to that work life balance where and you're supposed to and you're supposed to work out like you're an athlete
with no you know what I mean, Like, I just don't. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older or my priority wiser are and wiser and hotter, but like my entire mindset of working out, because I used to be in college I'd work out six days a week. Wow, six
days. I never did that. And even after college, I was still working out a ton, and just within the last I would say, like four or five years, I mean, the pandemic really just I was like, quit the gym, quit everything, and just we're going to take a hard reset and just try to figure everything out. But but I just don't feel like working out is how I know it's really good for you. You should move your body. It's so good for your mental health and your physical
health. But I was just approaching it in the wrong way. M See. I will tell you that. I think a great solution to maybe not feeling as guilty about leaving my husband with stuff so I can go and even like take a walk around the neighborhood is doing it after my kids go to bed. Because when I got home after that first run, my son asked me if I was having a heart attack. Oh, he does, he know how funny he is. He was so concerned because I was like, he wants to give me and he goes, mom, are you okay?
Are you having a And you know, he like takes a pause because he's trying to find the words of something he's clearly just learned about for the very first time, and he goes a heart attack. Now I'm just wickedly out of shape and trying to snatch myself back in two weeks. So that might be the solution. So what is it about leaving to go like work out or take a walk or whatever, Like, what is it about that that
makes you feel guilty for leaving them? Because I leave everything with Chris, especially in the evening when things can just be really chaotic, like the kids are in their witching hour. We're trying to get like, he just cooked dinner because he is our cook. I don't do much of the domestic stuff at all. We talked about that. So he's just gotten done, like cooking all this dinner. Now he's got to like clean up dinner, and then he's got to like wrangle the kids and make sure that they get a
shower and a bath and the bags are packed and then get bedtime. It's just still there at that age where it's not a super flawless routine. Right. Every night is different, And so I feel bad going out, you know, with my headphones on and listening to my music or a podcast and being by myself. That it's not fair because then he doesn't. I don't know how I reciprocate that for him. Well, what does he say about it? He's fine with it because he's stupid Chris that is laid back and
great. I'm the only one that's giving myself this own thing. But I also know how to get rid of it, because I still feel like I should be giving more or not allowing him, but giving him like a time to go and do things. I guess I don't know. Yeah, but by whose definition? Probably mine your definition, because it sounds like he feels like he does have that time, Like, yeah, I shouldn't give a shit and do me. I mean, I just I think it's like just
built in to certain people I identify as a people pleaser. And yeah, like even my mom has more recently been like stop worrying about everyone else and just do something for you or like just think about only you in this scenario. And I'm like, I I can't. I don't know why I'm wired this way. I like, don't have that wiring I feel you. Yeah, I don't. I am so affing anxious. It's the worst. Did you see my tweet the other day? We've had like all of these We've
gotten really close on a couple of houses that we've been looking at. Yeah, which is a terrifying move, but like Chris will just go I think it's really exciting. And I snapped back at him the other day and I was like, well, you've been married to me for eight years, so you know that I walk a very thin line between exciting and vomit inducing anxiety. So just y'all, like, I don't. I don't have like other
ways to operate. I'm either really excited and then nervous about why I'm excited, or I'm just like, well, the world is coming to an end and I'm going to be stuck with a mortgage, right, And then it's like the anxiety that like I know that I'm anxious, so then other people obviously know that I'm anxious too, And I not only could I not solve this problem for you, but like I also can't solve it for me,
and now I'm a burden on myself and I'm a burden on you. This is so fitting as my TikTok for you page has really changed up in the last week or so to like people pleaser and burden type tiktoks. It's also the time of year, like I do feel like this is a very seasonal plight for me as well. Good word seasonal plight, seasonal. Oh my god, that's perfectly said, just the seasonal anxi entering the season of the plight. Yes, you thought it was the season of the Witch. Absolutely
not no plight. Mm okay. That was actually very helpful to talk to you about, was it? Because I don't feel like I was helpful at all, So you really were. You were very, very very helpful, So thank you for that. But now we have to work into spooky season for a minute. Oh, because I think it's worth pointing out that we're recording this on Friday the thirteenth, right, I got speaking of There are times when Chris will call me out and be like, God, you're so
fucking weird, and I don't understand where I come from. So we've been house hunting. Yes, yes, we found this house that we really enjoyed, not the one I showed you, a different one, okay. And you look back at the history and you see that it was on the market, it was being sold in twenty eighteen, and then it was back on the market again in like mid twenty twenty, and then they tried to sell it again in twenty twenty one, and then it's back on the market again.
Does that raise any red flags to you? No, okay, because I think that means it's haunted, of course, naturally. Right. We looked at this house and I'm like, Chris, I don't know, man like any other any other information or data to support this. I'm I'm I want to believe it with you, right. You don't want to take Chris's side where he's like that's slightly irrational, and I was like, well,
rationalize this. I've watched enough shows of people that buy these buy houses like this, and then it turns out it's because there's a casper there and it's not always a friendly ghost. Did you tour the house? Oh? Yeah you did. There's not like weird doors with locks, on the outside. There is a weird crawl space in the basement that I have no evidence to back this, but look like a portal to Hell. And I was like, I don't think i'll buy this house. Our friend Candice tours around Michigan.
She does the ghost tours in Grand Rapids. She always says people are way more sensitive to this type of stuff, like the supernatural. Yes, I would say yes. Then, although our ghosts supernatural, I think they're considered supernatural, are they think? Yeah, okay, yeah, I don't know how any of that works, but she always says you're way more sensitive than you think you are, and sometimes you just you don't realize how it
affects you until someone like actually points out like portal to Hell. Yeah, so you having the portal to Hell. Feeling thank you so much. I will be playing this back for Chris, So I really appreciate you anytime, because I'm like, top three deal breakers for me like district, safety of the neighborhood, Poulter haunted, and I think that's completely fair. Yeah, there was. I just read something online. I can't remember how many people.
It was less than half, but it was. I want to say it was like close to forty percent, like close to forty percent of people have had some sort of experience with like a ghost. Wow, that actually seems high. See, Oh it's gonna happen. I'm gonna find a great house, I'm gonna live there, and then all of a sudden, someth's gonna be tickleing my feet at night. Its ghosts. So I think I'm just being careful. I'm being a good mom. Can't move my family into
a house with ghosts, you. I can't crag Tea Nelson this. So sometimes in the middle of the night, this is like my favorite thing that Fran does. She'll just like wake up and be barking at the ceiling and I'm like, I know there's a ghost up there. I know it felt like that. It's it's so scary. Yes, it's so scary, but like your dogs don't do anything weird or nothing's ever house now. But we've
never taken that's a good I don't know if you could. We've never taken them to showings like when we're touring a house, and I should because animals always know animals and kids like the mail is thinner for animals and kids. Was that last episode of the episode before we said the same thing. You're like, man, creepy kids, creepy pets. They always know, they always know, So that's what you have to do. Oh God, Will
would be a terrible ghost hunter, though. He'd get so distracted by something he'd be like, Wow, Mom, look this room would fit all my legos and completely miss the fact there was like a ghost family in the corner. It's up to me. You're don't have to keep him on track. Yeah, but no. The only thing I think that's more irrational than you're haunted house theory, I think is the real estate market itself. Oh, that probably explains twenty eighteen, twenty twenty one. That's fair. You gotta
love an eight percent interest rate. God, I'd take a ghost if I could make him an income part of the property. Are you ready for the next yees? Okay, maybe I'm just a triggered individual. I think weddings cause people to lose their efing minds. I don't know. I don't know what it is about a wedding. I don't know about two people coming together to proclaim their love for one another till death do they part? I don't know what about that just causes people to go in san racist sanity. This
was something that I read online. Someone wrote in this is like an advice column. Okay, and this this person, We're gonna call them too old for nonsense. That's what they That's what they wanted to be addressed. The letters that you normally get about weddings sometimes amaze me and also make me laugh. I am invited to a wedding this month. The wedding is being held in the couple's backyard, and the invitation says formal. So I'm assuming everyone
I'll be dressed up. The guests will be seated on hay bails covered with a white cloth. When I questioned this, when I when I questioned this, I was told, quote, oh, hay baiales are the latest thing for weddings. The bride is in her fifties. I don't know why that matters. Yeah, so most of the guests will be fifty years old and up. Can't you just see us all sitting on hay bails wearing formal attire. It's going to be interesting. Signed too old for nonsense? I e.
You have lost your damn mind. These people are paying for a huge party. Yeah, you're gonna put on a nice dress and look good and go eat and drink for free on their dime, and you're bitching about a white cloth over some stand. I don't think any thing that you have in your closet too old for nonsense, cannot withstand sitting on a hay bale covered in white cloth for twenty minutes. I do like a good back on a
chair, though, so that would be that would be my complaint. I know I don't have the back of the twenty one year old schmidty anymore. I totally get that, but like I just what what? And then the response really quick? Do you know who this woman is? Though she's launching this huge complaint? Can't handle it? Da da da Someone that shops off registry and makes you like a birdhouse. That's the wedding guest she is. She didn't even follow the rules. Not there's something wrong with birdhouses, but
there's a reason they have registries. Yes, spoken from someone that got six birdhouses. I just think like it's their wedding. Yeah, it's their wedding. If the hay bales are really like that much of an issue for your outfit, does I don't have to go like you don't have to go number one. But also if it's cash well enough to where they're having hay bails
covered in a white cloth. The invitation does say formal, so like they'd like you to dress up, But I also think since it's at their it's in their backyard, I feel like you could probably just stand in the back or like off to the side if you if you don't want to sit on the hay bail, like writing in on the internet and like questioning this, can't you just see too old for nonsense calling the bride and being like the invitation says formal, but we're sitting on hay bails, yeah, or so
I say that were sitting on hay bales even though it's formal, I assume you will have a few chairs there for some of us to use. I just the slight suggestions was always my favorite part of the wedding, not not hey, how's wedding planning? Are you like super stressed out? Hey, I'm so sorry. Everything's like two to three times more expensive right now in the time where you're you happen to be getting married, But I'm actually worried
about my outfit at your wedding. Hay bails too well. Plus if it is a fifty and up crew, and I'm not saying this to be like, there's probably a few jazzy scooters that will be there. It's dress and that I just there you go. I can't. And the response was like even better. These weddings are starting to seem as artificial as drive through Las Vegas Chapel. I love talking about weddings with you. You this could be another hotel right into me if you are a bride or a groom and you
are getting married and someone is being absolutely insane. Actually no, this is my new business. Yeah, telling your guests to shut them up. You can come and shut up or you cannot come. It's not your asle Alley, I love it. It's just like it's their wedding. They're paying for it. If you don't agree with it, don't go. Don't go at this this to me and I'm I feel like I'm a reasonable person agreed.
So like an unreasonable demand at a wedding, like hey, you have to buy adult chain and gabana dress and then you have to come to my wedding and you have to sit in a pile of mud and it's in the mikonos. I don't think buy your plane ticket. Yeah, I think that that's unreasonable. I think too old for nonsense. May have had a leg to stand on if they were demanding she buy adult chain and gabana and then sit in that in a pile of mud. But like you're gonna you're gonna buy
You're gonna wear pants, You're gonna buy a dress from Amazon. It's gonna be forty dollars, you're gonna get two days shipping, and then you're gonna go sit on the hay bail and turn your nose up at it because how dare how dare they ask you to dress formally and then sit on a hay bale. Just to bring this back around real quick, I will never fuck with you as a ghosts. I appreciate that, because I will come back and I will haunt your relatives for you. If you're a bride and groom.
That's also a service guarantee of not your ile alley, your isle alley. I'm for the people,