The Tiny Habits Behind My Big Wins | Ep 284

Do you want to actually level up your life in 2025? A lot of my success has come from just doing the simple things that a lot of people overlook. And so if you want to change your life in just a few minutes a day, here are micro habits that actually move the needle for me.

One of the most powerful tools that I have found for emotional regulation and for feeling clear, feeling better throughout my days, making better decisions, is probably something that you're doing. In fact, you're probably doing it right now, but you're not doing it the way that I'm going to explain. Okay, this is a...

I want to say it's like a five-minute habit that instantly makes me feel calmer. I feel clearer. I feel more in control. And I feel like I get to move through my day with more poise. And that is doing deep belly breathing. And this is actually something that I do minimum once a day, probably twice a day. It's essentially when I put my hands, one of my chest, one of my stomach, and I take a deep inhale and a long exhale. So it's like...

Just like that. I usually do about one minute, three to five minutes. So it's like I do it for one minute. I take a break. I do it again three to five times. And I really focus on... Breathing in with like about 75% capacity and then breathing out as long as I possibly can. And what I've realized that this helps me so much when I'm in, when I'm spun up in the day. Like I go from meeting to meeting to meeting.

I go from filming to going on stage to getting on a lawyer call to being in a deposition to talking to a portfolio company to hiring a new person to going to a dinner. And I find that... I want to stay grounded throughout all those things. It's really important for me to show up and be present with the people that are in front of me. And so I found that in those moments, it helps me show up in the way I want to. So I'm present for everybody I'm talking to.

And in the moments where I'm feeling really bad, in the moments where I'm feeling frustrated, in the moments where I feel anxious, that's when I find this to be one of the most helpful tools that I can use. And so if I feel like I'm getting overly emotional,

then I will just take a five-minute break to go do this. Because I don't want to get to the point where I feel like I'm going to freak out, I'm going to yell at people, I'm going to yell at my spouse, I'm going to yell at my friends. I don't let myself get there. Instead, I say, okay, intervention?

I'm going to take five minutes and just breathe. And the thing is, is that whether I want it to work or not, it works. Like I calm down. That's how our physiology is wired is that whether you want it to or not, you're going to feel better if you take those deep breaths. The reason you want to put your hand, one on your chest, one on your stomach is that what I realize is like for myself is that I breathe very shallow when I'm doing a lot through the day.

And so I'm not expanding my diaphragm or my stomach. And so it does a couple of things, which is like it tightens a lot of my muscles. then leads to like stomach issues where I'm having indigestion and maybe it's like an acid reflex maybe it's just the stomach hurts whatever it might be and doing those things not only helps me move from

feeling like I'm in the reactive mode to getting in the proactive mode. But it also helps me feel better physically. My digestion feels better. And I don't get that muscle tightness that I get if I... Don't stop myself and take that break. And I'll actually show you. I actually have this on my calendar. And so every day I have it in the morning and then I have it in the evening. But you'll see it's on my calendar. And I just say like pelvic breathing.

And it just sits on there and I say like five times and it's every morning at 6.30 a.m. because it's pretty much like in the morning when I'm getting ready to do things. That's the first time I want to do it because I want to do it right before I'm tackling the day. And then when I have really busy days, I'll put it in my calendar for like between calls to remember to do it as well.

So I found that if I put it in my calendar, I will do it. If I don't put it in my calendar, I'm not less likely to do it because, again, you're doing it because you're caught up in the day. And so you need something to prompt you. Another thing that you can do if you don't use a calendar is you can just set an alarm.

So that's something that my husband does. He doesn't like to use a calendar. And so instead, he just sets an alarm when he needs to do something like that. The next micro habit that I have that I use is what I call walk hacking.

And this is one thing that I do, which is I essentially always combine something with walking. One thing that I heard a long time ago is that people who live the longest are actually, there's a lot of correlation with longevity and how much you walk in a day. And actually, the people who lived longest in the countries that they studied walked six or more miles a day.

And so my goal has always been to walk six miles a day, which that can be really hard if you do what I do. And so I actually started my entire career walking every morning at 5 a.m. And I would walk from 5 a.m. to like 6.20 every morning when I started my first business. And I just learned how to listen to a book.

how to write a memo, how to create a meeting, how to write a document, how to leave a voice note, or how to record a podcast while walking. And it's been one of the best hacks that I've had.

for my life, for my business, because I get to do something. I get to be moving. I get to feel like I'm moving my body, which feels good to me. I get to know that I'm working towards my health goals and I get to work towards my business goals because I pair it with something while I'm doing it. And so what I've actually...

found is that now when I walk is actually the time where my creativity is the highest so the best comes out of me while I'm walking I find it very hard to ideate on ideas or think about my business when I'm sitting still And so what I love about this is that this habit kind of gives me like a triple threat. It's like I get exercise, I get productivity, and I get clarity afterwards all in one. And so I do this every single day in the morning.

It doesn't really matter what time, but I do it at one time. And so I actually literally have two lists for my work. I have sit down work and stand up work. And so I put all my stand up work for when I'm walking and I just schedule it out during that time I'm walking each day. So for me. I've done this one of two ways. When I used to live in the suburbs in a neighborhood, I would just do it while I was walking outside because it's safe, I'm just walking around, there's not a ton of cars, etc.

Now I live in the city, so that would be a little tough because I'll run into people. And so now I have a treadmill desk where I do this. And so I'm able to use the desk for things in my computer or maybe we'll just use my phone. The next micro habit that I have that helps me feel more connected.

more appreciative, and just like emotionally grounded takes, I mean, I want to say 30 seconds a day. In fact, this 30-second habit improves my relationship. In fact, this 30-second habit improves every relationship in my life. So every day...

What I do is at the end of the day, I look at all the things that happened to that day and I think about what happened and what people did well. Like, did somebody do something really well? Did somebody have something significant happen in their life? Did I see someone working really hard?

Did I think about a friend throughout the day? And usually I'm super busy during my day, so I don't stop to do this. So I do what I call like a look back at the end of the day, which is like I look back at my calendar because I use my calendar. And I remember all the things that happened and it triggers memories of all the things I saw or witnessed or the people I thought about. And then I just send a quick text.

I usually just send a, it doesn't have to be anything long, it doesn't have to be crazy thought out, but I just like let them know that I was thinking about them, I let them know they did a good job, I let them know that I'm here for them, or I let them know that I'm thinking about them.

And I've just seen how this continues to reinforce my relationships. I think it helps create a good culture with my team. And it also helps me stay connected with people when I'm really busy. And I think what I realized is that... When I first started my business, there was a lot of stuff I'd be like, I just don't, like I'm just so busy that I just forget to set. And I realized that's never going to change.

As long as I own a business, as long as I'm busy, I'm going to be busy. I don't want that to be why my relationships get worse. And so I just had to approach it differently because it used to be that I had time throughout my day to text people, to talk to people, to whatever. Now I don't check my phone until, you know, dinner time. And so I just realized I have to stack it all up at once.

And it doesn't take me long. It might take 30 seconds to send that message, but it helps me stay connected even though I'm still so busy. The next habit that I have is very simple, but it's made a huge difference for me. And it's honestly, it's hugging somebody for 20 seconds. I read a study about how hugging somebody for 20 seconds can reduce your stress and it can make you much happier.

And so what my husband and I now do is that when we leave for work in the morning, the elevator ride from our condo to the bottom of the building is about 20 seconds. And so every morning, it's just like every time we get in the elevator, it's now like...

automatic habit is we just huggy-toed and now we actually do it we go up the elevator as well but it's just every day now if somebody gets the elevator maybe i'll stop um because i don't want them to feel weird but i love it because it starts every morning you get like

that oxytocin, you feel connected with somebody and it just reminds you of what actually matters in life. Because I think oftentimes like we're going so fast, we forget to do something as simple as like hug the person that we love and creating that habit. It's just been, it's probably my favorite. And I don't just do it with my husband. Like, I have other people in my life that I love. I have my family. I have friends. And when I see them, it might not be 20 seconds, but I give them a long hug.

Because I think there's a difference. I think there's a difference between doing a short little hug that feels like, hee hee, butt out. And like a big hug where you really embrace somebody and you make them feel like warm and comforted. And I've just found that doing that helps me feel more connected with the people that I love. The next micro habit that I have is actually about productivity. And I don't start my week without it. I haven't in...

Nine years. Listen, if your week isn't planned by Sunday, you have already lost the week. So every Sunday, I will schedule my entire week. I will schedule all my meetings. I will schedule all my workouts. When I'm going to rest, when I'm going to do my breathing, when I'm going to do a project, dinners I'm going to have, date nights I'm going to have, even when I wash my hair.

And I do this because I want to front load the decision making and avoid wasting my energy when I get to my day of like, what should I do today? When should I do this? Like, I hate all of that. And my theory behind this is that I like separating. my decision-making time from my execution time. I think that it reduces stress. I think it prevents us from avoiding shit we need to do. And it makes sure I don't lose energy switching between those two sides of my brain.

And so I take Sunday and I really make all the hard decisions of when I'm going to do what and what I'm going to prioritize, what I'm going to cancel, what I'm going to extend, what I'm going to do. Is it perfect? No, of course things happen midweek, but it... really has moved me forward more than any habit I've ever had. And I have suggested it and I will continue to reinforce it with every single person on my team that wants to be a high performer or wants to be a leader.

I honestly don't even know how I operated before I did it. Because what happens is that if you don't do this, is that you step in every day and you're like, what am I going to do today? And then you oftentimes tend to default to what you feel like doing that day, not what you committed to doing the day prior. So if you have something that you've committed to, you've already blocked the time out for it. You've already scheduled the meeting for it. The likelihood it doesn't get done is low.

But if you walk into the day and you have no idea where you're going to work on, no idea what you're going to do, you're going to waste at least like an hour putting around trying to figure out, oh, what am I going to do today? I'd rather just front load all that putting to Sunday and then just get into fucking doing it during the week.

The other thing that this does is it on Sunday, you know, a lot of people go through the week and they say, gosh, that meeting was a waste of time. Gosh, I should have spent more time on this. Gosh, you know, my priority was really to focus on this. And if on Sunday you say, you know what?

My priority is these three things, and I'm not going to have time to do those things with all these meetings I have or all these commitments I have. Well, great. Let's not schedule our priorities around our calendar. Let's schedule our calendar around our priorities.

And so on Sunday, it's enough grace period that you can cancel things, you can say no, and you can move things without people thinking you're a fucking asshole. But if you do it the day of, if you do it the morning of, you do it the 15 minutes before, which a lot of people do. It's kind of shitty. So the last habit is how I start my weeks. The next habit is actually how I end my days. And so...

You know, I have found that for me, this helps me feel less bloated, sleep better and just feel more energy throughout the days. And so I actually just really don't eat three hours before I go to bed. Like if I have something like a late dinner.

A lot of people know this. I'll eat before the dinner. And then at dinner, I'll pick at stuff. And people will be like, oh, you don't eat. It's like, oh, I do. I just ate before I got here. For me, that's helped me because I tend to get up early. And so... I like eating early because I also get up early. A lot of people are fine eating at 8 p.m. or 7 p.m. because they get up at 7 or 8 a.m. But if I get up at 4.30 or 5 and then I eat at 8, it's like...

It doesn't do very well. And so this has helped me a ton with staying on track with not just my fitness and health goals, but also with how I feel and how much energy I have on a daily basis. And I don't know the science behind this, but I do know that digestion takes energy.

And while you're asleep, your body wants to restore your body. Like your body is trying to restore itself. If it's busy digesting food, it puts less into restoring itself. And so typically what I've seen with like tracking all of my stats on my sleep aid is that I get... worse quality sleep. And so I just do my best to eat three hours before bed.

Here's the thing. I don't stress about it. So if I get invited to a crazy dinner that's at 8 p.m. and I really want to go, then I'm going to go because I don't want to stress and be that weirdo who doesn't go to a dinner because it's past my bedtime.

Like, I want to live my life a little bit, break the rules. But most of the time, if I can, I eat three hours before bed. And I don't mind if that means I'm going to eat something that's less fun. I would just prefer to feel good the next day. And I'm at the point in my life where...

Feeling good on a daily basis is how I can perform my best. Listen, also, I am not telling you how to live your life. I'm just sharing what works for me. A lot of you guys want to know more about how I live my life, how I eat, how I sleep, how I exercise, how I get a lot done.

and so these are things that work for me i suggest that you test things out you try them you see what works for you and you do you figure out works for you i would be curious if you have any micro habits like that that work really well for you i would drop them in the comments because i want to know what they are and i think other people would also want to know