Braised Bits - podcast cover

Braised Bits

Braised Bitsanchor.fm
Jesse Eigner and Lance Pauker are two comedy chefs in New York City. On stage, they constantly cook up piping hot bits that might burn your mouth if you're not careful. But in your earbuds, the bits are braised, slow cooked to precision and carefully considered. Braised Bits is an hour of observational humor, good humor ice cream bars, and even some Humor Esiason mixed in. We're talking food, we're talking sports, we're talking awkward situations and the never-ending tide of technological determinism. We're even talking about practice. Come for the fun, stay for the umami.
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Episodes

#62 Moises Alube

Support the podkitchen on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/BraisedBits Show notes: 00:00-00:20 Jesse reads an ad for today's sponsor, Dairy Queen's Edward Snowden Blizzard 00:30-03:00 The episode gets orificially underway with a discussion about when you say words and aren't sure if they are actually words, as well as a recap of the Blizzard of Waverly Place that recently hit New York City. 03:00-06:30: Lance mansplains to Jesse why winter storms now get names. The Chefs discuss their Atlanta Dr...

Feb 05, 20211 hr 37 min

#61 David Outerborough

Support the Podkitchen on patreon! www.patreon.com/braisedbits 00:00-00:33 - Lance reads an ad for Joey Fatone It Up. 00:33- 03:46 - The chefs dip into a fresh episode of Braised Bits and reveal parm that they are wearing actual chefs outfits. 03:46-05:55 - Jesse presents some meal prep via Phil Jackson regarding what defines a true Lou Bodega. 05:55-06:19 - Lance chers that he was enjoying Taylor Swift earlier in the Jason Day and was thinking of letting Jesse know how hes missing in and out. 0...

Jan 29, 20211 hr 36 min

#60 Lou Bodega

Support the podkitchen on patreon! https://www.patreon.com/BraisedBits 00:00-00:28 - Jesse kicks off the episode with an ad/song for Lou Bodega. 00:42-2:12- The chefs dip into the podkitchen and remind the Braiserbacks about the top nacho content on their patreon. 02:12-03:31 - The chefs celebrate their sixtieth episode and look forward to a future choc full of bits. 03:31-11:00 - Lance receives feedback from the braiserbacks regarding his bakery Mayfield of dreams question and provides an updat...

Jan 22, 20211 hr 36 min

#59 Ja Morant Rules

Support the podkitchen on patreon! https://www.patreon.com/BraisedBits

Jan 15, 20211 hr 43 min

#58 Pancetta World Peace

Support the podkitchen on patreon! https://www.patreon.com/BraisedBits Show rundown: 00:00-00:26: Jesse reads an ad for new sponsor Purellen Degeneres 00:40-2:00 Lance turns into the Chicago Bulls announcer from the 90s. Jesse runs through the Braised Bits tunnel chest-bumping the Braiserbacks as the chefs get ready to Jazzercise in 2021. Lance is excited about this depressing part of the year. 2:00-5:40 The chefs think about going to a Renaissance Fair, Jesse extol-house cookies the virtues of ...

Jan 08, 20211 hr 34 min

#57 Legend of Bagel Lance

00:00-00:36 -Lance reads an ad for Miles fortune tellers. 00:36-02:35 - The chefs dip into the podkitchen and discuss the year ending and the concept of thyme. 02:35-03:00- Jesse and Lance do their best Australian accents and question whether any Australians actually have Steve Jobs. 03:00- 03:57- The chefs wish the podfather a happy birthday as he turns twenty nine on New Years Jason Day. 03:57- 05:15- Lance and Jesse reminisce about watching the show 24 when they were Steve Young. 05:15- 06:58...

Jan 01, 20211 hr 42 min

#56 Almond Joy Jones Jr.

Support the Podkitchen on Patreon! www.patreon.com/braisedbits 00:00- 00:27- Jesse reads an ad for Rainbow Bice cookies. 00:27-3:55 - The chefs dip into the podkitchen and discuss NBA opening night and the Jenny Slate of games coming up on Christmas. 3:55- 6:45- The chefs talk about their off menu Patreon episode where they traveled down to Del Ray Beach Florida to eat at 3 G’s Gourmet Deli. 6:45- 10:00 - Lance reminisces about a golf camp that he went to growing up in his hometown and the impor...

Dec 25, 20201 hr 42 min

#55 I Can Be Your Yeero

Support the Podkitchen on Patreon! www.patreon.com/braisedbits Episode Notes: 00:00: Lance reads an episode for a new sponsor, Genghis Khan Edison 1:00-4:35: The chefs discusses weathering some technical issues, the upcoming Brent Blizzard hitting New York City, and being fish hooked up on clickbait 4:35-10:30: The chefs discuss Count Spatula's cameo on last week's episode, Jesse's inability to smell books, and the COVID vaccine-y in a bottle. Jesse expresses confidence in the scientific method ...

Dec 18, 20201 hr 24 min

#54 Sisterhood of the Traveling Lance

Support the Podkitchen on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/BraisedBits 00:00- 00:25- Jesse reads an ad for Reggie Bush’s Hanukkah Bushs and Drew Brees Christmas trees. 00:56-02:07- Lance and Jesse dive into a fresh episode of Braised Bits with a discussion regarding Hanukkahs George bushs. 02:07- 03:27 - Jesse enjoys driving around the neighborhood looking at the holiday decorations and all of the lights by Kanye West. 03:27- 04:56 - Lance believes Jesse has the build belicheck and personality t...

Dec 11, 20201 hr 43 min

#53 Fred Funky Cocktail

Support the Podkitchen on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/BraisedBits 00:00- 00:38 - Lance reads an ad for Sigmund Freuds Androids. 00:38-03:00 - The chefs dip into the podkitchen with a discussion about people’s Aaron Judgements about androids. 03:00- 03:56 - Jesse cannot believe that it is December but Lance can believe it. 03:56- 05:06- Jesse shares that he’d like to be a New Orleans Pelican. 05:06- 08:39 - The chefs congratulate the top Braiserback couple on their anniversary. 08:39- 11:24 ...

Dec 04, 20201 hr 42 min

#52 Hora the Explorer

Support the Podkitchen on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/BraisedBits 00:00- 00:44- Jesse reads an ad for Obi Toppens Pizza toppins. 00:44-04:00 - The chefs welcome the first publicly traded comedian Bret Raybould back into the podkitchen. Bret has a new hour special, “Bret Raybould Retires From Comedy” available for free on Youtube. 04:00- 09:00 - The three amigos discuss Bret’s special as well as all of his Aaron boondoggles. 09:00- 15:05 - Mr. October sends in a question for the chefs and Br...

Nov 27, 20201 hr 22 min

#51 Risk It For the Brisket

Support the Podkitchen on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/BraisedBits 00:00-00:50 - Lance reads an ad for Margaret Thatchers Dreamcatchers. 00:50-02:00 - Lance shares with Jesse that Braniac 2.0 will be buying a year subscription to Waluigis Squeegees. 02:00-03:38- The chefs discuss their first patreonardo dicaprio episode and Jesse shares feedback from his meet the parents. 03:38-05:25- Lance has a knock on the podkitchen door from a neighbor helping out a delivery man. 05:25-08:22 - Wack Gold...

Nov 20, 20201 hr 36 min

#50 Dat Phans OnlyFans

Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/BraisedBits 00:00-00:36- Jesse kicks off the episode with an ad read for Dat Phans Only Fans. 00:36-04:54 - The chefs discuss the launch of their new Patreon woody Page and what the Braiserbacks can expect from it. It can be found at Patreon.com/BraisedBits 04:54-07:29 - Jesse discusses the dark/ rainy outdoors but shares his excitement about the election results. Lance talks about his love for looking at election maps but shares how evident it is t...

Nov 13, 20201 hr 29 min

#49 Smell Yourself Short

00:00-00:52 - Lance kicks off the episode with an ad read for Waluigi’s squeegees. 01:05- 02:43 - The chefs dip into episode forty nine with a discussion on Waluigis athletic prowess. 02:43- 07:50 - Lance and Jesse disclose that they are cooking up this episode Terrelle Pryor to election day as they talk about how they are each feeling about the week ahead. 07:50- 18:04 - The chefs make their presidential predictions and Jason debateman who the silent bob majority will vote for. 18:04-28:55 - Je...

Nov 06, 20201 hr 38 min

#48 Parfait Donovan

00:00-00:45- Jesse kicks off the episode with an ad read for Brent Musbergers Mustard Burger. 00:45- 02:51 - The chefs dip into the episode and discuss whether or not comedy Johnny Cash is actual money. 02:51-10:06- Lance defends his landmark top nine list from the previous weeks episode and reveals the Kelly ripple effect it caused in his household. 10:06- 18:43 - Lances highlight of the week was the one year anniversary of Braised Bits and looking back on all the great times the chefs have had...

Oct 30, 20201 hr 30 min

#47 Pepe Le Pew Research Center

00:00- 03:04 - The comedy chefs dip into episode forty-seven as Lance reminisces about watching March Madness while devouring a chicken carbonara Garciapara from Quiznos. 03:04- 05:01 - Lance pulls a Tony Reali stats guy Fierri on himself. 05:01-08:36 - The chefs look back at the last episode when the podkitchen got literally too hot and almost turned into a fire island. 08:36- 24:16 - Lances lowlight from the previous week had him choking on his spinach and artichoke diplo. Lances highlight had...

Oct 23, 20201 hr 41 min

#46 Along Came Polly-O

00:00- 00:55 - The chefs dip into the podcast with a cold open riff about the Cosi Umenyiora restaurant chain. 00:55-05:03 - The chefs shout out Zachary Shnackery for his barrage of entertaining feedback as he binges Braised Bits. 05:03- 07:35- Lance suggests that Jesse gives the Golden Meir Girls TV show a shot. 07:35- 08:02 - Lance serves up a scorching hot take regarding the difference between Middle Schoolers and High Schoolers. 08:02-18:11- Jesses highlights from the week were the LA Lakers...

Oct 16, 20201 hr 38 min

#45 Beavis and Halibutthead

00:00- 01:00 - The comedy chefs dip into the podcast with a cold open about Jesses sweet feet and Lances Cleveland calves. 01:00- 03:00 - Lance sips on some matcha prepared by his wife as Jesse trys to matcha his energy. 03:00- 10:00 - Lance presents some meal prep regarding the ongoing sweatpants saga and also another Braizerback weighs in on the Shack Shack versus In and Out rivalry. 10:00- 19:07- Jesse and Lance share the same highlight as they look back on a great day golfing at the inaugura...

Oct 09, 20201 hr 55 min

#44 David Wells Fargo

00:00- 00:22- The comedy chefs dip into a fresh episode of Braised Bits as Jesse shuts his window due to some Larry Birds. 00:22- 00:32- The Braised Bits intro song is played. 00:32- 01:24 - The Chefs go on a bird riff much like Fred McGriff. 01:24-03:15- Jesse and Lance cher the same sentiment that the podcast is their most creative outlet in these current pandemic times. 03:15-09:44 - The chefs welcome new Braiserback listeners to the podkitchen and get into their previous Tiff Haddish about s...

Oct 02, 20201 hr 44 min

#43 The Hither Hills Have Eyes

00:00- 01:55 -The chefs dip into episode forty-three with a discussion about eye and ear doctors. 01:55-03:05- Jesse talks about his hearing issues and the chefs discuss the term hard of hearing. 03:05-08:18 - Lance goes to virtual temple services with his family for the Jewish new year and the chefs reminisce about their times going to temple while growing up. 08:18- 13:59- Jesse presents a couple of meal prep items regarding Phil Jacksons predictions and the Podfather coming in with some harsh...

Sep 25, 20201 hr 39 min

#42 Leg Ostertag

00:00-06:01 - The chefs dip into episode forty-two with a look back at the previous weeks technical difficulties that left both chefs with a charlotte sting. 06:01-07:02 - Lance shares Eric Seidells disappointment that there was no episode last week and also adds that he has invested in a Pittsburgh steel baking sheet for his kitchen. 07:02- 22:05 - Lances highlight involves an on going saga genesis with his Father and his quest for a shrimp francese Tyler hero. Jesses highlight was putting his ...

Sep 18, 20201 hr 47 min

#41 Errand DeGeneres

The comedy chefs reveal their Top 9 favorite Errands! 00:00- 03:00- The comedy chefs start episode forty one on a positive note and each share their relationship with Saturday Night Live. 03:00- 05:07- Lance and Jesse both reveal that they are attending different bachelor parties on golf courses coming up. 05:07- 06:35 - The chefs both agree on their Kevin love of saying no to plans. 06:35-23:30 -Lances highlights from the past week involved him going on a long walk to Ikea in Red Captain Hook a...

Sep 04, 20201 hr 43 min

#40 Grateful Bread

00:00- 03:40 - The comedy chefs dip into episode 40 and Lance reminisces about his time as an intern on the movie “This is 40.” 03-40- 05:07- Jesse and Lance discuss mortality as well as mortal kombat the video game. 05:07- 08:15- Lance is at the Jersey shore for the week and visits his favorite “beach” aka Wegmans. 08:15-12:22 - An old friend of Lance shares a shark tale about how a younger Lance would take umbrage at the lunch table if someone had white cheddar popcorn. 12:22-14:05- The chefs ...

Aug 28, 20201 hr 48 min

#39 Stroop, There It Is

00:00-2:15- The chefs dip into episode thirty nine with a debate about Kerry Wood versus D’Brickashaw Ferguson. 02:15- 05:12 - Lance defends the number thirty nine against Jesses full blown attack on the numbers character. 05:12-12:11- The chefs answer a question from the Covfefe kid regarding their preference between Stephon Starbucks and Tim Dunkin Donuts. 12:11-14:18- Jesse addresses his loud volume Jake Fromm the previous week. 14:18-27:35- Jesses highlight from the past week involves Marshm...

Aug 21, 20201 hr 38 min

#38 Dan Lather

The comedy chefs cook along the coast this week, as they share their Top 9 favorite things about the beach. 00:00- 02:00 - The chefs dip into episode thirty eight with a discussion regarding NYC Bar Raphael shows. 02:00-03:40 - Jesse defends his stance on mashed potatoes against pod nemesis and poker star Erik Seidel. 03:40- 07:57 - The chefs discuss what its like getting older and the feeling of not having to be up on on what is hip in todays culture. 07:57-15:02- Jesses and Lance share feedbac...

Aug 14, 20201 hr 40 min

#37 Feta World Peace

00:00- 05:20 - The comedy chefs dip into episode 37 with a discussion about tropical storm Isaias Thomas and their past experiences with Hurricane Sandy Alomar. 05:20- 06:22 - Lance and Jesse reminisce about Blimp Biscuit and also both agree that hot air balloons are JJ Rediculous. 06:22- 16:06 - Lance presents some meal prep from two top braiserbacks regarding Publix supermarket and kitchen infrastructure. 16:06-27:00 - Jesses highlight of the week Mill was the NBA being back and Lances was wat...

Aug 07, 20201 hr 39 min

#36 Too Big to Christian Bale

00:00-01:44- The chefs start up a fresh episode of Braised Bits by reminiscing about an old Big east village comedy venue. 01:44-04:30 - The chefs debate the value of agent zero and discuss how the podcast has been recorded virtually for a long time now. 04:30-07:20 - Lance and Jesse discuss the passing of TV legend Regis Philbin. 07:20- 09:55 - Jesse shares some feedback he received from the podfather regarding the previous episodes candy Joe list. 09:55-20:48- The chefs answer questions from t...

Jul 31, 20201 hr 46 min

#35 Jeremy Lindt Truffle

00:00- 04:03- The comedy chefs dive in to episode thirty-five with a back and forth about old stores in shopping malls. 04:03- 08:23- The chefs share some fun meal prep about how an artificial intelligence company transcribed an episode of Braised Bits and how chaotic the results were. 08:23-10:09- Lance chers an email the pod received from his brother regarding our youngest Braiserback as well as how top notch the chicken Jay Cutlet sandwich is on the beach. 10:09- 15:40 - The pod receives a qu...

Jul 24, 20201 hr 43 min

#34 Tom Paparazzi

00:00- 02:07- The comedy chefs jump into episode thirty four with a metta world peace conversation about the best way to start a podcast recording. 02:07- 5:38 - Lance and Jesse debate the natural progression of Ice Aging and what “going out” means the older you get. 5:38- 10:39- Jesse presents some meal prep regarding feedback about his number one beverage choice from the previous episode. 10:39- 13:40- Lance cooks up and eats his first ever BLT sandwich and the chefs discuss Tomato theory. 13:...

Jul 17, 20201 hr 50 min

#33 Egregious Philbin

00:00- 3:00 - The Chefs dip in to episode thirty three of Braised Bits after a few false starts due to an echo unlimited issue. 3:00-5:07- The chefs discuss Torii Hunter/Gathering and how it relates to mens inability to multi task. 5:07- 12:38 - Lance presents some meal prep including a revelation about ciabatta and some great Enes Banter on the Braised Bits Instagram. 12:38-29:16 - The chefs talk about their highlights which involve Lance leveling up in the kitchen, him seeing progress with his...

Jul 10, 20201 hr 50 min
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