Hi, and welcome back to Bounce Forward with Me, Tip Paul. I'd like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which I'm recording this podcast.
There were wondering.
People of the cooler nation. I pay my respects to elders past and present. Today we have part two of my chat with Rachel Corvette. Let's get into it. So you're a pretty fit and healthy person. Did having a baby really shift your health and fitness routine at all? Like?
Did it change? Yeah? I mean, how do you squeeze that in?
I don't And that's what I hate, honestly, Like, that's the thing I missed the most. You know, the gym for me was all mental, never physical. The physical stuff was a benefit, you know that, but it was all about mental. It was about me being in a space where I don't have to think about anything. And I'm a class person. I like to go and do classes. I like to get told me to do check out. Yeah,
that's exactly right. And you know, through COVID, I was doing a lot of stuff online, so I had tried that, but it just doesn't have the same circuit breaker for me as going somewhere else, not in my home, but going somewhere else and being told what to do by somebody, you know. So I sort of struggled with kind of mixing things in. I'm trying to find the right way to do that now because I don't have any space in my week to do any exercise, and that is definitely something that I'm noticing.
One thing I'm trying to do now.
Is that I used to always get up really early, and to be honest, through.
Winter, I just gave it up because I was so naked.
But I've gotten back onto the train of getting up at five because then that at least gives me an hour before Olivia wakes up. I can do a tiny bit of yoga, you know, maybe just sometimes I'll go for a walk around the block even though she's asleep in bed. Yeah yeah, yeah, but I'm like, you know, I've got the thing, oh on my phone, I can see her like whatever.
So just having a little bit of space there.
And then my goal for next year is to work out, you know how I fit that into my life. And I do think what I need to do is I just need to get better at doing stuff at home because the idea of going out that might be the way that I disconnect the best, but I just don't have space for it in my life at the moment. You do have to like just trade it off a
little bit. What can you do totally? So yeah, that's an important thing for me next year is to work out how to get regular fitness locked into my week because that is just a game changer for me mentally.
It just makes all the difference. Yeah, it really does. And what about postpartum me?
Because this is bounce forward and I talk a lot to women about their postpartum journeys and that they bounce forward, not bounce back.
What was your bounce forward? Like I think?
I mean after I had the kid, I had a rough trot in the first few months, like I particularly the first six weeks, I just did not RECOGNI myself honestly, and particularly in hospital. I had sort of six days there. I chose to go private because I thought that would be the best option for me in terms of having support on the other side, because I knew I didn't have anybody to come home too, So I thought, Okay, well,
I can stay in this hospital for five days. I'll have staff that know what they're doing and I'll have support, and it didn't quite work out that way for me, and so what ended up happening was I was basically alone for six days, which was.
Not healthy mentally.
And so when I came out the other side, because I'd had the C section, you know, you can't do anything for six weeks.
I couldn't drive.
I'd live in an apartment with no elevator, so I couldn't take the pram downstairs. I felt very trapped and stuck in this space, and I really really struggled, and a lot of points I kind of thought to myself, Ah, I was a really capable person. Has that changed now? Like is this me forever? Like I really worried that
that was going to be me. So I think for me coming out of that phase, I did definitely get a lot of extra help over that time because I was very conscious that I was on a pretty sure path to postnatal depression, and I felt, once I'm in this, it's going to take a lot longer to get out of it, So I need to do everything I can to try and either stop it or like go as short a path into it as I possibly can. And so, you know, with the help of some friends and things,
like my best mate kind of stepped in. I kind of got to the stage where I was like, I can't be alone for a day, you know, I need to have people around, and that's not me.
I'm like, leave me alone for a week, and I am happy as larry.
So they I sort of had a roster on, you know, board with people coming out. So once I kind of came through the other side of that, I think you come out of that and you just feel so accomplished in some ways, you know, because you realize, oh, that
was a really dark place. And once I sort of started to see some glimmers of light with Olivia and she wasn't just a blob that was screaming at me all the time, and you know, you sort of start to get in a rhythm of things and you start to kind of understand what their cries mean and you can you know, then I think it was really you know, my focus has really just been on how do I focus on her as much as I can, But then also realize that for me, the other aspects of my
life are very very important. My work, my life, you know that kind of stuff, That stuff really feeds me, feeds my soul as sad as that sounds like, I do you know that stuff matters to me, you know, the work that I do. So I think my kind of bounce forward and my focus is really on making sure that I maintain and achieve those things while simultaneously
trying to be the best I can. And I do think that actually achieving those things and doing those things makes me a better mum, you know, because I'm a happier mum when I am still doing those kind of things that I'm doing for me and ultimately for us, because some of it's like about you know, finances and making sure we can have the life that we can
we want to have. But yeah, that's the kind of focus for me is how do I manage to not lose myself in this so that I can be the best version of myself for myself as well as for her. And So in that time, did you learn any kind of coping mechanisms for mental health that you've brought through it?
Like, have you continued on.
With any little tiny things that have helped with mental health since?
Do you check in on that regularly?
Yeah? I think one thing I took away from that, and to be honest, I haven't really put into practice because I'm really bad at it, but it's very much in my mind. Is I I did not put my hand up enough, and I'd do that in my whole life, But in my other life, outside of that moment, I don't ever feel like I need help. It's not that I don't put my hand up because I think I
don't want to bother people. I actually there's barely anything in my life that I've ever done that would probably be much easier if I had help that I've ever thought. You know what, I can't just do this by myself, like I always just feel that way. But when I was in that spot, I really couldn't ask for help. I didn't know how to what I really responded well to, and what I needed at that time was friends who were just like, shut up, I'm coming over. Stop protesting.
I'll be there in fifteen minutes. You give the kid to me, you go for a walk. I don't want to hear anything from you. Don't even say hi when I get to the door. You know, because I didn't know how to ask for help, I just needed someone to force it upon me, and then I'd be like, Okay, the pressure is off, they really want to do this, because in my mind, I'm like, do you really want to be doing this? Like do you You've got a lot of things of your own to worry about. I don't
want to be burdening you, you know. So I think that's something I was very mindful of because I just wasn't very good at accepting help, and I should have asked for more of it, if I'm honest, you know, I probably I don't know if I would have come out of the woods any quicker, but I definitely needed more help than I had, and I didn't. I didn't ask for it. I was just too worried to burden other people and those kind of things. And that was the first time in my life that I was like, actually,
I do need help. I can't do this by myself. And so that's something I just want to be more mindful of because one of the things that you realize is that people actually like to be asked to help. When somebody if I say to my best mate all the time, there would be nothing better in my life than if you called me and woke me up at three am and said you needed me, because I'd be like, where do I need to be Oh my god, I'm important.
I can't let me sort it out. I can help you, you know, And people feel that way, but I forget that. The way I feel about helping other people is what other people might feel about helping me. So I think that's something that I want to be mindful of moving home. Yes, and there'd be a lot of solo mums out there listening to this now. I have friends who have gone through IVF and their solo mums too, and they'll be listening.
So would that be your top tip ask for help?
Yeah, And I'd say just try and put it in place before you go into it and overestimate what kind of help you'll meet. I underestimated. If you were a very capable person who is used to being able to juggle a lot on your own, that is fantastic, but you will not be the same person on the other side of this, Like you shouldn't be imagining your current capable together able to do everything self as the person that you will be when your baby comes out and you are solo with that child.
You know, I was not the same person on the other side of that.
So if I had my time again, I would definitely Yeah, I would definitely get more help, and I would get more help in hospital. I think if you're going to stay in hospital. I didn't have anyone there because I thought the staff would be my people there. But the staff are busy. There was more people's patients in the
hospital than they could deal with. So I just kind of got left to my own devices because they were sort of like, well, every other room has a partner in it, and so they just assumed there was somebody in my room basically, And so I think having somebody in the hospital with you during that time is really important, really important.
So it's very exciting.
You have released your very own podcast called Me and My Tiny Human. So exciting and this is going to help so many women. Can you talk to me about this podcast? Yes, So I started it because I just get asked so many questions. I get asked a lot of questions from women who want to do it, and I don't think they know anybody else who has done it, and I think it's really hard to work out is this actually possible if you can't see somebody else doing it.
So part of it was about kind of this is just a bit of a proof of life if you are wondering whether you can survive a week, and when you're by yourself with a baby, like I'll be here every week, so you'll hear a voice and you'll see I haven't died, you know.
Through the week.
But also there's there's a lot of people, particularly those in relationships, who I think have a bit of a.
It's bad to say, but a bit of a car.
Crash fascination with my life, you know, when you drive bast something and you're like, I can't look away. So because they can't quite get their head around like what kind of a crapshoot my life would be and how I'm actually managing to do it. So I guess it's a it's a bit of that as well, because I think there's a bit of fascination if you aren't doing it by yourself about like how does it get done? So, yeah, I suppose I've wanted it to be a space where
people could ask questions as well. I've had a lot of questions submitted since I started the show, and there's a lot of stuff you're not allowed to ask, not allowed to ask, you know, in society that I'm like, you actually can ask it and if, and I'm happy to answer it because there are there are a lot of questions about the process and the donors and how you go through all that and how you do it on the other side, and if it's something that you're thinking about, I.
Think it's it's become so.
Much more of a thing amongst women, and any kind of assurance that I can give people that like, this is actually possible and a path for you, rather than thinking to yourself, can I meet someone in five minutes that I'm going to be stuck to for the rest of my life That isn't the person that I want to be stuck to, Like, just do it on your own. Yeah, it's awesome. Rachel, thank you so much for joining me
on Bounce Forward. I think you're just doing the best, the most amazing job in helping other women who want to go on this journey as well.
So thank you so much, pleasure, Thank you for having me.
Thanks so much for listening to Bounce Forward. I love having your company. So dm me on Instagram at tifhol Underscore XO and let me know what topics you'd love me to cover. Don't forget to rate and review me on your podcast out speak Soon, Happy Days,