Welcome back to Bounce Forward with me, Tip Haul.
I'd like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which I'm recording this podcast, the weredar people of the cooler Nation.
I pay my respects for elders past and present.
Today on Bounce Forward, I have the amazing Jesse Stevens. She is an author executive editor at Mama Mia, as well as co hosting news and pop culture podcasts Mama Mia, Out Loud and comedy podcast Canceled. You may have also seen Jesse Gracial TV screens on the ABC and as a regular host of the Project on Channel ten. Jesse is also a mom to Luna and I can't wait to talk to her on Bounce Forward.
Here's Jesse now. So, Jesse, you're a twin and I was really interested to hear from.
You because my sister and I had our babies four weeks apart, right, and you and Claire had babies not too different in a So what is that experience like going through motherhood together as a twin.
It has been one of the greatest gifts of this period of my life. Four weeks I am I'm sort of jealous, but then I also think you would have been in the trenches at very much the same time. Claire and I. Our girls are about five months apart, okay, and so it's been amazing to have. In one way, I was the luckier one because I got Claire for five months and she was amazing. She would come over
and just like she just wouldn't leave. She'd come over at nine o'clock in the morning and it would get to like two o'clock and my husband would say, Claire, you probably need to go home, like, you can't just live in our house because there's a baby here now. But she couldn't. She was so over with how much she loved Luna, and Luna loved her. And then her baby came along, and I was very worried that I wouldn't be able to give her the same time that she'd been able to give me because I had a
five month old. But I'm really glad that I've been able to help in terms of being a few steps ahead. So everything from like I don't know breastfeeding, even though everyone's journey is very different, but sleeping and all the trinkets, and every time Luna grows out of something or she's moved on from a toy. There are just bags of stuff at Claire's doorstep, and her knowing having someone just
ahead of her, I think has been really good. But as you would know, it's indescribable the love that you feel for your niece or nephew. That's been so surprising to just have her, to have Matilda, and I'm like, oh wow, I love her as if she were my own. She's just the best thing in the world.
Isn't that beautiful? Is there any sibling rivalry with it?
Because I find with my sister we've both got girls, Margo and Vader, and they're both so close in age. It's like, well, Margo's talking, Vader's not, and you know, Vader's crawling, Margo wasn't.
And it was just always comparing. Do you have any of that?
There's a little bit of that, And I think that you naturally worry when it's your first because you go, oh, should they have hit this milestone? So Claire will always go back and she's like, Luna was crawling at this age and Matilda hasn't started crawling. But then on the other hand, I look at Luna is very small. She's always been small, slow to put on weight. And I look at Matilda and that's never been an issue for her, and I'm like, it took Luna so many more months
to get to that size. So you just learn, I suppose that every baby. I mean, we've got identical genetics, so these girls are technically half siblings and they are so different, and you just go. You get the baby, you get in terms of temperament, in terms of milestones, and that's actually a really beautiful thing to learn that. It's not that you're doing anything wrong. If your baby walks a bit later, it's just that they're going why
would I walk? Crawlings easier? And I'm like, yeah, I regret ever learning to walk.
Actually, yes, yes, Isn't it such a stress when your baby's not putting on weight?
Like that was?
My baby was the same and we were at the maternal health nurse every week for a way in and Vader just was difficult with the breastfeeding and wouldn't wasn't feeding and I was trying with the breastfeeding, but she was losing weight. So it is such a stress, isn't it. Isn't the early stage just a bit of nightmare.
I'm so glad to hear you say that, because we were we were the same. I was breastfeeding every two hours, even overnight, and she was throwing. She was a bit of a refluxy baby. But they said to me, no, no, no, it's not as much as you think. It looks more than it is blah blah blah. And we would go after a week of me breastfeeding ten or eleven twelve times a day, round the clock, and I would go, Okay,
she has to have put on weight. They and one week I remember going and she'd lost thirty grams and I was going, I have never worked so hard at something and failed so much. Yeah, and I still don't like she was a bit slower. I was a small baby, but that to me, that and eventually a doctor said, it's you know, failure to thrive because she's not put
on the amount of weight she should have. That was the hardest bit of the whole journey, that, you know, the effect you feel like you have one job, which is to feed your baby, and you feel like you're failing at it. And it was, Oh, I am glad to be out of that period.
I must say, I really do think that mothers need so much support in that beginning six weeks.
It's just so hard, isn't it. You just yeah, very tormented.
By I went in and you know, I've worked at a women's media company for a lot of years. I've spoken to so many people as you would have about breastfeeding, and I have no judgment for anyone who does formula. So I thought, if the breastfeeding doesn't work, it doesn't work, it's fine. What I didn't expect was that you go to a lactation consultant and I would say, look, breastfeeding doesn't appear to be working. She's not getting on. Wait
do I do formula? And it was like the prescription was always going to be the same, which is breastfeed harder, breastfeed harder, breastfeed harder. And I was like, it's not working for us. Who can I go to? Who's going to give me? I think? I ended up seeing a pediatrician who was just a lot more pragmatic and went give her a bottle and see if.
It helps, Yeah, give it.
And I needed commission.
I was power pumping, and you know, I would pump before a feed and then pump after a feed, and then feeding ridiculous, like you were, and the pumping was really doing my mental health in so I just I lasted a couple of months, but I just couldn't. But with my son, I exclusively breastfeed him for over twelve months. So how does it not work? Like? Why is this not working? I just beat myself up. But like you said,
every baby is different. They come to you and you just get what you get, right exactly.
And my sister I had issues with breastfeeding that were totally different, but the pumping thing was. And some people are just you know, enjoy it or it doesn't bother them too much. But I found it like dehumanizing and I would sit there on the like I felt as though when I was pumping, I couldn't hold my baby, and so I would just be sitting there staring at a wall, going I feel.
Like a cow.
Ye, it's old, isn't it.
This isn't working. And you know, women have been breastfeeding since the beginning of time, and this is as good as we've got in terms of a pump.
Like, I know, the pumps are terrible.
Oh, you're so right. They need to invent something. Yeah, they need to look into that whole feeding thing. Oh so Jesse, I have to ask you about your relationship with health and fitness because you know I'm a personal trainer.
I love it.
What type of exercise do you enjoy? Are you a very sporty person or or you know.
I actually I really enjoy exercise. So I've been doing reformer pilates for probably seven or eight years amazing, which I I think I enjoy it because I don't get bored. It's very you know, from balance to changing it all up, there's a lot of stimulation. Whereas I couldn't go for a run, I would get very bored during pregnancy. Actually, I also swam a lot, which I really enjoyed.
That's great. That would have felt amazing, felt so no gravity.
Yes, and even I got a lot of like ribbon back pain and so the movement of getting my shoulders and that rotation I think was really good. But since having lunar, I you know, was thinking about, all right, if I want to get pregnant again, what what would be I would like to be really really strong, and even though reformer plarti is great, I thought I'd like to lift weights like I'd like to. I can't remember what it's called, but you know, behind your shoulder blades,
what's that your posture muscles? Yes, like yeah, yeah, yeah, I want to get that really strong. I want to get my glutes really strong so that you know, pregnancy, to me, it was carrying around this extra weight and it takes. Yes, I'm also right through your thoracic you sort of hunch because of the feeding and the carrying open all that up exactly, so it's like and even your boobs get massive, so you just get this. Like I felt as though I was hunched over for the
second half my pregnancy. So I started going to the gym. I can commit to three times a week, which I'm very like proud of with a one year old, so I do a lot of like arms which you need when you carry them around and that back bit.
Yeah yeah yeah, lats yeah yeah yeah.
And I have felt such a difference. I feel really I feel really strong.
Oh that is awesome. That is awesome.
Has your relationship with exercise change much since you've had Luna, like massive body or how you feel in your own body life?
Oh, massively. When I went to so I signed up to a new gym and they had like a like a wellness consult with a PT and I was like, I want to see a female because in the past I've seen a male PT who I felt like was telling me what I needed. But I wanted to tell her why I was going to the gym, and I said, I am not here to make my glutes look a certain way. I'm not here to get a six pack. I'm not here to lose weight. I'm here to make sure I'm not in pain. I don't want to be.
I don't want to have back pain, and like, for functional reasons, I want to be able to pick up my baby. I want to be able to go for long walks. I want to be able to get down on the floor and be able to do that for the next forty years of my life. And I felt like she really understood what I was trying to say.
And since doing that, it's like how I feel in my body and feeling like I'm switching the right muscles on and I'm not getting the saw hips and the saw back, which you kind of get inevitably when you're doing so much picking up.
Yeah, oh that is so great. Oh my goodness.
Okay, I'm going to pause things right there and I'm going to come back with a part two very very soon. Thanks so much for listening to Bounceport. I love having your company, so please dm me on Instagram at tif haul Underscore XO and let me know all the questions you'd love me to cover. Don't forget to rate and review me on your podcast out speak soon.
Happy days,