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Being "Unequally Yoked" is a major concern when one partner in a couple goes through a faith change without the other, and our guests today have generously shared that journey with us all. Ben and Andrea are a mixed-faith couple that went through this tricky process and have come out the other side stronger. In this interview we talk about those first difficult conversations, about therapy and how that was instrumental for them, and about all the things they learned about themselves and about ea...
“On a base level of what feels right and wrong, rejecting a person for wanting to experience love just didn’t feel right at all.” Today’s episode is an interview with David, who grew up in the southern Church or Christ and left the faith later in life. We talk about what is was like growing up in a southern fundamentalist church, about having doubts as a kid, but not knowing how to express them, about a conversation with a coworker that completely changed his life, and about how common sense has...
“Belief is not a choice, and if it’s not a choice then the burden is off of my shoulders” Today’s episode is an interview with Andi + Jeremy, a couple who, similar to Katie and me, started their relationship as committed christians but then headed down the path of deconversion. We talk about their origins and the first dominos that started to fall, about the difficulties that came with losing their faiths at different rates, about telling their family and friends, and about all of the healing th...
“For the first time in my life I feel a freedom and a love and acceptance that Ive never had, ever. I can feel my power.” Today’s episode is the first in a series of episodes where we’re going to be turning the mic around and interviewing you - members of our Born Again Again community! And this first episode is with a wonderful personal trainer, writer, and momma of 2 named Stacy! Our conversation was deep and incredibly encouraging, and I am so grateful that Stacy was willing to open up about ...
Letting go of the promise of heaven is a really hard part of leaving the faith and leaves many of us with a fear of death. In this episode, we discuss this typically heavy topic with death doula Caroline Ingraham Lee. We talk about her story and how she became a death doula, and discuss what that means on a practical level. We end by talking about how facing her own mortality head-on has helped her to live a richer, more engaged and more fulfilling life, and she shares her thoughts about overcom...
As ex-Christians, we understand better than most what it's like to live with an extreme worldview. In today's episode we talk about the unique perspective we've gained since leaving our faith, and how that perspective empowers us to relate to those that we disagree with. We talk about some common reasons that we can slip back into an 'us' vs 'them' mentality, and why ex-Christians are especially prone to that type of thinking. We end the episode with some thoughts about seeing yourself in the ot...
Healing ourselves using our own inner resources has been a major source of empowerment for us both. In today's episode, Katie and I talk through our experiences doing 'Inner Child' work, and share some ways that it's been helpful and eye-opening for us. As always, we try to keep things super light and practical. Hopefully our experience will encourage you to go within and try it for yourself. And if you're looking for a guided meditation, we made one just for you! 15-Minute Guided Inner Child Me...
We all want better sex and relationships. Today’s episode is an interview with Sex and Relationship coach Meg Cowan. During our conversation, we talk about understanding personal agency, autoimmune issues in a repressed body, and untangling from shame. We get into communication, both in relationship AND your communication with yourself, as well as some practical ways to begin building a new sexual ethic. And we wrap up by talking about navigating deconstruction with a partner who may not be on t...
Today’s episode is an interview with Jamie Lee Finch! Im sure many of you already know her from her book, You Are Your Own , but she is also an embodiment coach, acting (as she puts it) as a mediator between you and your body. In this episode we talk about that feeling of overwhelm when you are first leaving your faith, we talk about the importance of reconnecting with your body, and what that can look like.We also dive into the importance and beauty of grief, and about the healing power of conn...
We were given WAY too much advice. In today's episode we talk about the importance of being really strict on who's voice you allow into your life. We talk about the abundance of input Christians had in our lives when we were younger and the implications of that. We also talk news, politics, social media, and the overwhelming amount of voices that we are subjected to every day. Then we talk about two major ways we've been able to quiet the outside noise and amplify our own intuitions, and how tha...
Season 2 is officially here! In this episode we examine the process of coming to belief in God/Christianity/Bible/etc. We discuss how the process of going from a human to a Christian is broken into many small, easy-to-swallow stages, and how this process allows normal, logical people to believe in things like speaking made up languages, pretending to drink human blood and eat human flesh, and in an invisible, silent, angry overlord. In the last few minutes we get really honest with you all. We t...
Can you be proud of your own humility? Did Christianity make us over-analytical? Let's find out! In addition to a brief update, in this episode we discuss the idea of spiritual materialism, as discussed in Sam Harris's 'Waking Up' app. We talk about how Christian leaders feign humility by bragging about their awareness of their sins, about how being a Christian may have made us overly analytical, about how this spiritual pride is not limited to Christianity, and about our own journey with self-i...
Does "Let go and let God" make you cringe? Us too. In this episode we discuss the idea of surrender and what it was like to have a higher power to surrender our problems to. We talk about the security and comfort we found in giving things over to God, and how jarring it was to lose that ability once we left the faith. To bring it full circle, we talk about the idea of radical acceptance, bringing awareness to our worry and anxiety, choosing more loving thoughts, and about how we're learning to s...
When it comes down to it, does anyone really believe? In this episode we talk about belief, and how it relates to life in the real world. We talk about the corona virus and how we would have responded to it when we used to be Christian. Is there a line where a person’s faith will inevitably take a back seat to reason? We finish the episode by talking about the huge (unnecessary) weight of balancing religion and real life, and the great sense of relief we are experiencing on the other side of the...
Today Katie is going to read you some Bible stories (is Katie writing this in the third person? yes). We’re thinking back on our childhood and all the Bible stories we were taught through picture books and children’s Sunday school skits. The Tower of Babel and Noah’s Ark are two such stories that we never batted an eye at, but now we’re re-reading them to see what we missed. Coming back to the Bible after taking a break was a shock for us. We talk about how our perceptions of God changed, how th...
Turning the other cheek, being meek, being humble, are not particularly helpful when taken to the extreme. Today we’re so excited to be sharing a conversation we had with Tully O’Connor. Tully is a personal development and relationship coach that I (Joe) have been working with over the last few months, and I have been hugely benefitted by my time spent with him. During this conversation we talk about people pleasing, and how disconnection from yourself, from your intuition, will inevitably cause...
We felt like we had to do a lot of studying before we walked away from our faith. In this episode we talk briefly about Rhett and Link’s deconstruction podcast episodes, specifically about how their story parallels ours and many of yours as well. Then we talk about how many people feel ill-equipped to leave their faith. We discuss how Christianity can teach you to “lean not on your own understanding”, and how that can keep a person trapped inside a worldview which does not suit them. Enjoy! Rhet...
We’ve all heard the Christian response: “I went through a period of doubt as well, and the Lord brought me back to him.” In this episode we talk about this common Christian sentiment, and discuss why it’s so dismissive, belittling, and misguided. We talk about how most people who claim to have “explored their doubts” were likely just trying to ignore their intuition and get rid of their internal red flags. We always believed that doubt was sin, but how should we relate to it now? What should we ...
It’s our second interview, and it’s with the Reclamation Collective! Today we’re excited to be sharing a conversation we had with 2 wonderful therapists, Kayla Felten and Kendra Synder, who together have formed the Reclamation Collective. In this episode we cover a lot of ground, but we’re focusing on healing without recreating your trauma. We talk about how codependency can show up in group contexts, about how many of us have given away our power to spiritual leaders in our pasts, the benefits ...
We're Back! Today we're talking about balance. After taking a few weeks off, we sit down and talk about how difficult (and important) it is to find the balance between active healing and rest. We're finding that, just like all things in life, the real game is in recognizing when we've drifted too far to either extreme and gently reminding ourselves to come back to the middle ground. We wrap up by talking about the future of the podcast and the direction we are heading in 2020. Enjoy! Links! Inst...
You have questions and we have answers. In this episode we answer a bunch of the questions that you all submitted this past week. We talk about Christmas, setting boundaries with family, circumcision, communicating with a spouse who’s not on board, prophetic words and much, much more! Enjoy! Also, check out our new merch store! teespring.com/stores/born-again-again-podcast Links! Instagram (https://instagram.com/born.again.again) Facebook Group (https://facebook.com/groups/bornagainagain) Your S...
A lot has changed for us in the last 6 months. In this episode we check in and talk about the many things that have changed for us since starting this podcast. We feel differently about ourselves, about hell, about Christians, about our families, and more. We talk about how each "part" of ourselves is connected to everything else, and how we've had to learn patience and compassion as we find our way in this new life! Links! Instagram (https://instagram.com/born.again.again) Facebook Group (https...
Christians are weird about sex. In this episode we talk about sex, purity, and relationships. We talk about how weird dating was as a Christian, and how our beliefs about sexuality affected every part of our engagement and early years of marriage. Although it’s still an ongoing process, we wrap things up by talking about the variety of things we’ve done that have helped us to heal from our inhibited, repressed past. Enjoy! Links! Instagram (https://instagram.com/born.again.again) Facebook Group ...
We used to think atheists were sad, hopeless, mean people. In this episode we talk about how atheism is different than we thought it would be. When we were Christians we had a negative view of people who were atheist. We believed that atheists were lost, cold, and selfish people who simply loved sin too much to follow God. To us, it took more faith to be an atheist than it did to be a Christian. Becoming atheist has been a beautiful experience that has surprised us, challenged us, and taught us ...
Prayer was a huge part of our Christian faith. In this episode we talk about all the ins and outs of prayer. We realized that we had never really stopped to think about what prayer really is, why we did it, and what effects it was having on us. We discuss the weirdness of prayer, talk about the dependent and submissive mindset it puts you in, and reminisce about what our prayer life looked like. In the end, we wrapped up our conversation by talking about how we've been affected by prayer and abo...
Were you allowed to celebrate Halloween? In this lighthearted episode we have our best friend Sara back on the podcast to talk about all the “evil” stuff we were afraid of when we were Christian. In this spooky conversation we talk about Halloween, ouija boards, tarot cards, night terrors, and more. We share our experience on both sides - how we used to be scared of anything “dark” and then how we learned to release those fears on the other side. Our previous episode with Sara, ep 11 (https://bo...
Is faith in God predicated on faith in the Bible? Today we have a conversation about what Christians really believe; about what it means to believe in God. We talk about how bizarre it is that we never questioned where our beliefs came from, and about how eventually, questioning the Bible caused us to question our entire belief system. We talk about how understanding the Bible's role in our past faith helps us to walk away with less fear and less baggage. Links! Instagram (https://instagram.com/...
Tongues, Healings, Prophecies, oh my! Neither of us started our Christian ‘walk’ believing in modern-day miracles, but our faith journey took us there and we were along for the ride. By the end, we had little doubt that supernatural power was the calling of every true Christian. Today we have a conversation about all things charismatic. We talk about our first introduction to the spiritual gifts, our long and confusing pursuit of the supernatural, some first-hand experiences we had in charismati...
We’re taking you all to therapy today. This week we visited St. Paul, Minnesota to interview our first ever guest, Kendra Snyder, MA, LMFT, NCC. Kendra is a therapist specializing in supporting those who have been touched by adoption, grief, loss, trauma, and hurt from religion, as well as people who desire increased connection, to explore personal identity, and to find an authentic belief system or spirituality. We chat with her about her experiences within religion including her time at Moody ...
