249: Through The Portal

it was. It was just really messed up. We thought he was going to die. And basically, you know, for for nine months we had a very normal, very problem free pregnancy, with no issues, nothing to worry about at all, and then we get there and you know, water breaks in the middle of the night. We rushed to the hospital.

We're all excited, we're all freaking out, and she labors for like almost twelve hours without really progressing, and then it hit a certain point where his heart started dropping to really dangerous levels and they lost his heart rate a few times a bunch of people burst in the room and it was like an emergency and we were freaking out, and then they had to wheel her back there and cut him out right away, and you know, it was very scary and very traumatizing, and I definitely

had ptsd UH for three days, actually more like two weeks. I couldn't sleep and you know, just like having nightmares about it and stuff. So it was really tough. And the only reason I'm even bringing this up is not to like boohoo me, but it's just to say, like, I'm I don't feel like I'm the same person that I was before that, and I'm just like, I don't know, I feel I feel like a different person. I don't feel like I care about the same things that I

care about before that. And I expected to come back and have like this happy Kumbayas story and it just be this, like, you know, wow, that was so awesome, look at my beautiful baby. But it's not really like that. It feels more like surviving the worst crisis that I've

ever experienced. Even though he was totally okay and he's very healthy, it was just like a very scary shock and I was in there during the emergency c section, So I did kind of see everything, and I shouldn't have looked, but I had this weird, curious thought, like I just want to see if she's okay, because it was weird. It was like the baby table was at the foot of the operating table and she was awake, so they let me sit in there with her and

like try to keep her calm. And they were like, here, come hold the baby, because Jenny was too nauseous and had all this medicine enter from the surgery, and so they brought me over to hold the baby and it was at the foot of the operating table. So I just had this week, so of course I walked around the curtain and I just had this weird feeling. I was like, should I look and see if she's okay? I feel like I should. And I looked over and they were like they were either pulling an organ out

or putting an organ in. I can't I couldn't quite tell you, but it was it looked like you know, and like in the old stories when the Vikings would do like blood eagles, they would like they would like cut you open and you display your out like wings. That's how they had it arranged. I mean it was like split open and they were like, I said, it was a quick look and I regretted it, but they were either pulling one out or putting one in, and

I was like, I shouldn't have done that. And I'm sitting there holding the baby and I was like, they were like, here, come hold the baby dead and I was like, he's alive, and they're like, yes, he's alive. Because for several minutes, you know, during the surgery, we're like, is he okay? He was? Is he okay? And they're like we're working on it, and they wouldn't give us like, oh, I'm forget the website plug dude, I don't care. I just had the thought to do that. But anyway, yeah,

it was. It was horrible. It was messed up and totally worth it, totally totally, you know, beautiful, beautiful baby. He's an amazing, little, beautiful soul.

and it was very fast too. It was like, Okay, we're doing this, and then they willed her back and he was cut out in like twenty minutes, and it

was it was like had us in a whirlwind. But I will say that right before, about an hour before the sea section, we kind of knew that that was a possibility because of the heart rate loss and everything, and we had to stare at a monitor for like two hours and watch it happen, watch his heart drop with every contraction, and so I kind of knew that it was coming and that I I don't know, So I just walked downstairs to the lobby of the hospital and I like got a coffee and I was just

praying and praying and praying. I was like, oh my God, just praying and praying and praying. And I did hear a voice, not audibly with my ears, but like in my mind, and the voice told me to have faith. It's gonna be all right. And I kind of needed that because it was so bad that for the first like two weeks, I was so traumatized that every I just I was scared to get attached because I was just like, you know, he's gonna die, you know what

I mean, just every little thing. I forgot to say too that after all that scared of his heart and the surgery and everything. Then the first night he was on oxygen for like six hours, so that was scary and they almost took him to the niqu but he beat it because he's strong, tough. But yeah, it was it was messed up. And I did have a really weird dream that I can't get out of my head,

and it like kind of haunts me. But when I was in the hospital, I had this dream and it was the Phenomenon, And I know that the Phenomenon gave me this dream. The angels and I saw this orb in the sky. It was me and Jenny and we were standing out in a field and it was at night, and I know we were in like a grassy field, and there were some trees in the distance, maybe like forest or something, and there was like a small crowd

of people. For some reason, it was like a group of people and I couldn't make out anyone in particular. It was just random people. And I was looking up at the night sky and it was an ORB and it was like this very scary feeling, that ORB being up there, and it was flying and you know how like sometimes when you have dreams and it just feels

really eerie and weird. It was almost like a nightmare, but it wasn't like a monster, and it was an ORB, but it was flying up in the sky and then by the time it got directly overhead, it turned into a nuclear bomb. It literally looked like a nuclear bomb, and then it detonated and it was this huge nuclear blast, but it was like pure energy, and the blast from

the nuclear bomb was coming. So I just I grabbed Jenny and I was like, you know, we're gonna go down together, and you know, I just kind of like held on to her for the blast to come and get us. And I woke up and I was so messed up by this dream, and I had a feeling that it was symbolic of, you know, what we had just went through, because it was like a nuclear bomb

his birth, how devastating and traumatic it was. And I also had another feeling that it was kind of symbolic of like the changes going on in the world, that like, whatever it is that's going on, you know, we're going through this together. But yeah, dude, it was messed up. And I forgot to say that. A week before he was born, I had another experience, but it wasn't a dream.

I was awake for this. I was meditating and praying and I had this experience where it was like my vision kind of my mind's eye vision, not my eyes. My eyes were closed, but it was like my mind kind of faded into this other space and there was it was my son, but he wasn't born yet at this point. This was, like I said, a week or two before he was born. And he looked like a toddler. He had this long, curly blonde hair, and he had

bright blue eyes, and he was very beautiful. He had a glow like he kind of had a glow to him. And there was a spotlight on him, and he was in a dark, crowded room and there was people all around him, and he was walking around. He was crying, he was looking for me, and I went and I picked him up, and then I came out of the experience. Jenny's asleep because they usually pray and meditated at night before bed. And the next day I was like, dude, I think he contacted me from the womb or I

had a premonition or something. I don't know, but I think he's going to be beautiful. So then when he was born, of course he's beautiful. And I know a lot of babies are. I know everybody says that, but I mean, I really do feel that he's a beautiful baby. But the thing is, he was born with long hair, and all of the nurses are like everybody, they're like, oh my god, his hair. It's not blonde, but they're like, oh my god, his hair. His hair so long. It's

so beautiful. His hair stands straight up in spikes. So that was really weird. How I had that kind of like strange feeling that I don't know. It just was weird. It was all weird. It was all weird. So I say all that to say, you know, I just I don't. Whatever track I may have been on before this month, I don't. I don't know. I don't know, no idea you know what happens next, just completely destabilizing, right, Yeah. No, I'm I'm curious to.

the news and updated. I'm looking at my phone, texting my parents, and then I look up and ten people are rushing into the room, and I'm like, what's happening? And they're not talking to me or acknowledging me because it's an emergency. And they start flipping her over and they couldn't find his heartbeat for several minutes, and I

had no clue what was even happening. I guess the nurse like pulled the cord out of the wall because it's like an emergency alert thing, and it sends on alarm through the hospital, like everybody on the floor who's free rushed to this room. And I didn't know any of that, you know, I was just literally texting my parents.

watch his heart drop for two hours. So after all that terrible fear and all that worry, it like it's almost like I blacked out and it completely broke me down. And then for the next three days. Oh and then of course, you know, being in the operating room and

all that. So for the next three days, every time I closed my eyes, it was like I relived it every time, which you know, I slept two hours a night for the first two weeks, probably because I didn't want to sleep because I had so much adrenaline and so much fear of him suffocating or anything like that, all because of the oxygen the first night, the heart stuff, and you know, I know this a lot of this might be normal stuff that a lot of people go through,

but that doesn't make it any easier or you know, less scary. It was fucked up. So I don't think it's normal. I think it's common. I mean, it happens, it's not normal.

didn't give us the choice. Like the second time, not only was his heart dropping for hours, but then they would lose his heartbeat for several minutes because it was so low that the device wouldn't even read it, you know, And that was scary as shit. So with all that happening, it just broke me down. I'm like, I don't even think about a lot of that stuff, you know what.

I've just been trying to keep him alive. I've been staying up till seven or eight in the morning for the last like three weeks while she sleeps and recovers. So I don't know, I've not really been thinking about all that stuff. I've not really been thinking about, like you know, all this other stuff, you know, the orbs and any of that stuff. In a month. I'm telling you, dude, like I haven't thought about I haven't cared. I haven't cared about any of it. I haven't cared about. You know,

Easter came and went whooo. I looked a little bit on my phone. Obviously the star didn't turn red. Well, I got news for you. I knew that wasn't gonna happen on Easter. I never I always felt it would be more of a fall summer thing. It is what it is. I don't care. I just I couldn't. I couldn't be bothered any less. Like I've had some serious shit to deal with. So that's what I was saying, Like I've kind of it kind of made me a different person on the other side of it. I'm like,

you know, I don't know. I definitely felt like I went through the fire. So yeah, let's talk about that a little bit. I guess I don't have to keep harping on the you know what, I would love to shout out some people. And it's been a long time and we've had some new people sign ups, so forgive me from reading for a list from from a list on my phone here, and it might take a while before I I kind of get back into my stride

after you know, a heavy month. But you know, I just these these individuals are supporting them at our light being tier on Patreon, so we want to give them a special thank you. I'm going to start off with my main man, Blank, who wants to remain anonymous. We've got Derek Longoria returning with support for that tear, So thank you very much, Chris Epperson, Brian Lynch, and Danielle Dix who just signed up as of last night. So

thank you guys very much. At any level of support that we receive, we're very grateful and very appreciative and it helps us to keep the show alive and to keep going, and you know, we're thankful for all of it. So thank you very much. So yeah, I was just saying like I don't really know I have I've kind of been in a bubble, like staying up every night till the sun comes up for the last month and I'm like, I don't know what's happening. I know the

world has fallen apart. Every time I turn on my phone and look at social media, even briefly, it's fireball streaking across the sky. It's orbs, it's the vice president coming out and saying it's angels and demons. By the way, you know, my dad was the first person in history to say that that I'm aware of you know that

specifically UFOs or angels and demons. You know, we were laughed at for about fifteen years for saying that, And here we are now some of the most powerful people on the planet are coming out and by God, they're agreeing. So I wonder where that idea eve came from. Well, I'll tell you they've always known it. The people in power have always known this through all of time, that this phenomenon that interacts with humanity is you know, it's it.

It's the real thing, and it's spiritual, it's interdimensional. It comes from another place. This is a big picture here that is not about some random encounter with aliens from another place. It's much more profound than that that. It is story of creation. It's the and when you pull this thread. It's the very reason why are we even

here on Earth? What are we even doing? You have to be a fool to believe in this accidental evolution crap, and that we just formed on a rock that through collision with other big rocks and you know, heat from the sun, that it kind of shaped into a ball where water stays on it in a precisely certain way and it spends it a certain way and it has a certain tilt. It's so much more profound than that.

You know that there's a there's a whole other line of questioning that's about to open up for humanity as this disclosure begins to progress. Which, by the way, if I recall, hold on a second, let's back up. Easter was only three weeks ago, right, give or take. Okay, so today's Tuesday. So Sunday was two days ago, three weeks before that, roughly, today's April twenty eighth, only about three weeks ago, maybe four. Okay, if you read my

dad's book, which was written years ago. If you read my dad's book, it says the lady I'm paraphrasing, but she says she's you know what, No, I'm not gonna paraphrase. I'm gonna read it word for word. I don't want to be misquoted. I don't want to be I don't want, you know, the soulless zombies who served the matrix to quote me out of context. I'm just gonna go ahead and give you the real thing. Let me find it, it says. Okay, hold on, I have a folder of UFO of God quotes. Let me find it, she says.

When we approached the front of the throne, the beings gave her a slight bow and turned to walk away, leaving me alone looking up at her. She stood up from the massive throne and hovered over the carved out floor beneath it, never touching theud. Just forty feet and twenty feet above me, she spoke a parable that took a long time for me to process. When the red star of Regulus aligns just before dawn in the gaze of the Sphinx, a new knowledge shall come into the world.

I was not sure what that meant. I have come to understand that around Easter twenty twenty six, there will be the end of an old way in the beginning of a new. Okay, clearly, the star was not red on Easter again. The year is not over and until January first of twenty twenty seven, we still have, you know, a chance in the making here. But aside from that, isn't it a little weird that Easter was three weeks ago? Okay, so we're still around Easter, right, and all this stuff

is happening. Things are actually happen. You have to be a fool not to see it. You have to be a nincompoop and not be able to make the connection that things are actually happening according to you know what whoops that side what she said, what the lady said, that this world is going through a great change. And see the reality here is the powers that be that are in charge of the world. They're very evil. They're very very evil. They despise humanity, they despise us. They

worship if you could. Okay, I'm not a fundamental Christian by any means. I would say I'm a follower of Christ, but I'm not a fundamental Christian. But let's just let's just say loosely like this, this is real. You know, the biblical version is as close to real as it gets compared to a lot of things with some touches of other things sprinkled in there. You know, if you could conceive of an idea of a satan, maybe it's not one being, but there is a force that exists

in this universe that is evil. The people in power of this world are in line with that, and they hate us. They're literally vampires who feast on the blood of children and do way worse than that. They are the ones who have been withholding this knowledge from humanity for thousands of years, going all the way back to blood letting cults from even before recorded history into Babylon and Sumhra and even before that. People who literally feast

on the flesh of humans and children and whatnot. These are the people who are running the psychological operations to deceive the masses about this UFO story. So when you see things like you know, Mark Gates, and I'm not picking it again, I don't care about political sides. These are players who have now entered my turf. I've been a UFO guy for twenty years. These guys been talking about it a little bit, so I have a right to comment on what anybody says on the subject, right,

I don't care about politics. But when you have people in the political world, like Matt Gates coming out saying there's an alien hybrid program. And then you have timber Chet coming out saying, look, folks, I've been briefed in a private room and and I'm just gonna say they're trying to convince me it's anti Christian. I would not believe anything unless you see it with your own eyes. Psychological warfare exists. And then you have Representative Luna coming out,

very sweet lady. By the way, my dad has met her. He's met timber Chet too, but he met he had a little bit more time with Luna, and she's very sweet. But when Luna was like she's been saying, you gotta read the Book of Enoch. This is biblical, this is spiritual. And then the Vice President's coming out and saying it's angels. You're seeing a war. I'm not saying who is politically good guys are bad guys. That's not what I'm saying. Remove the faces. You are seeing a war of factions

between light and dark. But this information, this very information that we've been talking about the Bledsoe family for almost twenty years now, that the UFO sub which is biblical, not just spiritual, it's biblical. Spiritual could be anything. I'm at burning man and I'm burning an effigy of a fucking wicker man, and you know, rubbing crystals on my nipples, like anybody can say they're spiritual. That's I don't care

about that. Okay, it's biblical. It specifically has to do with the destiny and the creation of the human race, all the way up to the creator of reality itself, God, the great ineffable truth. Right, That's what we're That is what is unfolding. That is the revealing. It's not about does life exist out there on Mars? Who gives us shit? It's so much bigger than that. It's so much bigger than that, you know what I mean. It's it's it's it's our key to This is our key to learning

the truth about literally navigating the cosmos. But we're not gonna do it with a physical body. It's gonna be with our mind and with our soul. Right But anyway, So, what you're seeing is an information war playing out before our very eyes, where some people are pushing the satanic

alien narrative. And then I suspect some people are flipping and they're gaining a conscience, and they're coming out and they're saying, actually, whoa, I wouldn't believe anything unless you see it with your own eyes, which, by the way, I recall saying that a few months ago about abduction stories and abduction phenomena, and that we shouldn't believe anything

without rigorous discernment and vetting for ourselves. And somehow or another that got so crazy that I wake up one day and on Twitter I'm trending and there's thousands of posts of people shitting on me for saying the very same thing. Hmm, but who cares? I don't care. This is, to be perfectly honest, This is a you know, it's

a spiritual war for the soul of humanity. And you have one side that's devouring children in many ways, not just you know, for food, but in other ways too, that side putting out a certain lie about the alien story and the destiny of humanity. And then you have God, the phenomenon itself, interacting with the masses in its own way, coming to people on a personal and an individual level, and saying, go tell the story. We can't break the free will of mankind. We need help to spread the

world has to receive us. We need to be received, you know. The lady she said, go tell your story. We will help you. We can't break humanity's free will. We need help, you know. And then the other side is coming out saying, oh, it's alien hybrid program and they've got gray as from the future, and they've got all this shit, and they you know, they do things like probe people in the butt and they do all this,

you know, weird stuff. So we're seeing, we're seeing in real time and information war for the soul of humanity. Because you have to think you're a god, a little g God. You are an incarnate. The true God is this infinite being. It is the totality of all of existences. So if you think of like the ocean, you know, God is not only the ocean, but is bigger than the ocean, and every little drop of water is a

part of God. But also together they make God. But there's an infinite amount of this God to keep sending souls out into reality because God is experiencing everything through us, through every incarnated being. So we are like little g gods. We're little fractals of the infinite mind. So our beliefs our mind, our thoughts are very powerful, and the Satanists in charge know this, and they don't want us to be powerful. They don't want us to have powerful thoughts.

They don't want us to know the truth and to break free from the poison that they've been giving us for millennia, for thousands of years, keeping us as slaves eating bread, building the pyramids all that. Well, I know that's probably not how they were built, but you know what I mean, for thousands of years they've been cracking a whip. You get bread, build our monuments. That's humankind. That's the human story. That there's been a small ruling

class who have subjugated the masses. But now they do it not only through you know, taxes, through making the economy so horrible that nobody can really afford to do anything unless you're rich, you know, all these other means, but they do it through information. They do it through addicting you to shitty, horrible soul of slop, media, horrible music that brainwashes your kids to be picked up. And then you know, lies about UFOs about everything. They are

completely waging war on humanity. Why am I going on and on and on about this because I used to care so much, so so so the whole time I've done this show, I have believed that I was helping peop people undo that programming, that I was tiptoeing around what is what this all is about? And you know what it means? And uh, you know, then just four weeks ago today, I had to survive the complete mental collapse of thinking my son was dying and being carved

right out of my wife in a heartbeat. And I'm sitting there having to make the decisions about all of this for the first time, you know, anything super scary and stressful and intense. Was all pretty much on my shoulders because she was so messed up she couldn't, you know, do anything. So after all that, I'm just kind of like, I don't care anymore, you know, Like I don't care.

I don't care what people believe. I don't care. I don't care if people want to go and believe lies or if they if they want to you know, be fooled by that. Of course I care, but I don't care to try anymore. So I've been kind of thinking about it, like what am I doing? What am what am I going to talk about? What is this for what's the purpose of all of this? You know, we could, we could do the best, nicest, greatest thing in the world. But because of this evil satanic system that has unlimited

wealth and resources, they can send. You know, any time I post anything, or my dad or anyone in our family, we have a dozen bots saying, you know, fraud, you're fake, your bullshit, And you know, I shouldn't even say that,

but I'm so tired of hearing. I'm so I'm so tired of we have subjected ourselves for twenty years, almost next year, technically it's twenty We have subjected ourselves to the ridicule and the criticism and the lashing and the mocking and the torment of a world that is controlled by demons, literally an evil, sick world. And the whole time we've stuck to our guns and we've been telling the truth. So dealing with the trauma of my son, I just I kind of had this collapse, and you know,

I don't care. I don't care anymore. I'm gonna do what I want to do. I'm gonna talk about what I want to talk about. I'm gonna have fun. If I want to do a gospel series If I want to talk about Jesus Christ for twenty five episodes, I'm gonna do it because I want to, not because I

feel like I have to inform somebody about something. If I want to talk about Tibetan Buddhism for three weeks, or freaking you know, Templarism, or whatever I want to talk about, I'm going to do it because I want to, because it's fun, because it excites me, because I don't care anymore. I don't care. I just don't care to have this pressure in this you know, this weight on my shoulders anymore about what people think I'm doing or

what I'm talking about. After being mocked and torn minted for almost twenty years, and we could do the greatest, nicest thing for freaking humanity and would never It's a thankless, cruel world. That's what I'm trying to say. So I'm not speaking to that. I'm not engaging with that. I'm not engaging with, you know, any negative. I just don't care. There are good people in this world. There are loving

people who believe in truth. I've come to believe after everything that I've had a lot of time to think in the last month A lot of suffering, a lot of adrenaline and no sleep for weeks, and to the point of complete mental collapse multiple times, hyperventilating, just freaking terror. I've had a lot of change in my mind, and I have come to realize that there are good people in this world. But if you read the Book of Revelation, it talks about there's one hundred and forty four thousand people.

I'm not one of those light worker, star seed people who are going to say we're the one hundred and forty four thousand chosen. I'm not saying that. If you also look, I can't exactly remember the quote right now, I could find it doesn't matter because you can google it and you'll see that it's true that it says in the Bible that many are called, but few are chosen. That it's harder for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of Heaven that it is for a camel to

pass through the eye of a needle. Now, I know that in first century Judea there was in the city of Jerusalem there was this tiny little entrance that they called the eye of the needle that was like a backway. I know that that's technically true but also what it's saying is that it's very difficult for people to awaken into a sense. So I'm just I've come to believe after really taking a step away for a month and dealing with what I was dealing with, that I really

think the majority of this world is pretty negative. And you can look about anything online. You can look at anything. It could be anime, it could be hip hop, it could be fashion, it could be your favorite brand of tissues. It could be a post, it could be a video, it doesn't matter, and you can read the comments and it's people there are hateful, negative, cancel mob people. No, Alex, I'm not a doomer. I'm not saying that I have no hope for humanity. I'm not a nihilist. I'm not

any of that. I'm just saying that I've come to realize that, you know, I think that I think that it takes a special calling in this world, and it is very rare and few and far in between to choose the path of light and to awaken and go to the right place, to the right path, the right direction. I used to be like, oh, yeah, the whole world is gonna be cool by I don't know, I think I think that the split. There is a split happening of consciousness, and it's it's extreme, and it's very aggressive.

It's happening very frequently, and you know, I think it's ultimately up to humanity to choose to go the right way. So whatever amount of people that is choosing to to go the right way and be good and not engage with the darkness and the negativity, that's who I'm talking to from now on, That's who I care about. That's who I'm interacting with in my mind. You know, welcome to the show. I'm not I'm not trying to counteract anymore some dark, negative thing like I used to believe

I was. It's not my fight. I don't care. I've got enough stuff to deal with and uh, you know, I I just want to try to keep it positive to the best of my ability. And I'm going to just talk about what I want to talk about. And I feel like that's pretty much all I have to say. Do you have anything to say about any of that? Alex, first time back, so.

and everybody is a mirror of yourself, you know. And I often see that, especially with people that I immediately don't like, and then you talk to them for longer and you begin to learn that the parts you didn't like are the parts you don't like about your own self. And anyway, free will, the phenomenon and God, but that's a synonym, uh, massively respect your free will. I think this is also largely the reason that many experiences that happen or happen to you can also be written off

or logic away. There's always this mirror where it's a phenomenon, it's a satellite, it's this, it's a chamera, it's a shooting star, it's a camera flare.

I'm not bashing anybody. I'm just like, you know, it's time to to realize that you're in charge of your life and you're responsible for the decisions you make, and that's just what it is. But you know, whether or not what you see is a reflection of who you are, right, So that's I just wanted to go on a rant there because that seems to be the theme today.

And I don't know. I just feel like, in my head I believed I was talking to the whole world and I had to reach the whole world. I don't feel that way anymore, and I don't care about that. I don't believe that it's probably possible for our platform to blow up to that level because we're so monitored by freaking all these intelligence agencies literally overtly. I don't think they'll ever allow us to get to that level. I mean, you know, I just don't think it's possible.

Videos pop up everywhere with our family getting millions of views all over the internet, but for some reason, our show can't break right past around like you know, where it's at right now, And same with Dad and his Instagram and anything we do public. Like I just I don't even think it's possible for our family to blow up to certain levels. So I'm kind of like my

goals have shifted. And maybe that's a good thing, Maybe that's the best thing for me, But I don't I don't care to talk to the whole world or reach the whole world anymore. I only care to reach the good people, the people who want truth, no matter how ugly it is. I don't have all the answers, but you know what I do have, I have a desire to want to know the truth, no matter how scary it is or ugly it is. Show me more. You know, since I was young, I would always pay pray to

the Spirit of Truth. Spirit of Truth, I would literally say, Especially in my early twenties, I learned this Spirit of truth, show me, show me what I need to see. And as I begin to do this, I began to learn more of more things that you know helped me on my path. You know what I mean. I'm not I'm not thinking I have all the answers. I don't think

anybody has all the answers. I think. I think by design, humans are flawed, and this is like a cosmic school anyway, being you know, taught lessons and going on a journey

scripted by higher forces anyway. So I'm like, you know, I just I want to connect with the people who are on the same journey as me, which is trying to find the truth without any sort of control over what I think that is, or you know, my ego saying no, that can't be because I have a science degree and I believe in evolution, or no, I don't you know, I don't like God or Jesus because a Christian offended me, or I don't like Buddha because you know,

I'm American, or any any of these stupid egotistical things like. I don't care about that. What I care about is finding the real truth. Give me what's practical, give me what's real. And also those are the people that that resonate with me. So that's the journey I'm on, just trying to think, talk about what excites me and what amazes me and what I find interesting. I don't feel like I'm on some war anymore. I don't. I don't care, you know, just let's just, you know, have fun. Let's

just have fun and keep doing it, you know. So Jenny said, I could cut this one short if I wanted to, because it's my first one back and I've had a hard month. But I don't know anything else you want to add to that.

I do? I'm not saying that, Oh yeah I did, right, Look at me. I'm just I'm literally just telling you what happened like that, right, and I'm not I don't mean it like that. But what did I do? I prayed, and I prayed, please, please, please. You know what I said. I said, God, I'm not even gonna bargain with you. I'm just gonna give myself to you. I'm gonna give my son to you. Shit, I'm gonna give my wife to you. You can have her too, you can't have

my whole family. I'm not even gonna ask for anything, just you know, keep him alive. And I heard a voice, not at that moment, but at a different point, and it said, Ah, have faith, that's gonna be all right.

I thought my life was over, dude. When I was in the operating room and they cut James out and he was like they were slapping the crap out of him to get him to breathe. I thought they were I know that that's kind of normal, but in the moment, it didn't feel normal. I thought they were trying to start as heart, because for over two hours we were like, his heart's messing up, you know what I mean. So I thought they were trying to start as heart. They

were just trying to get him to breathe. Totally normal, but in the moment, I was like, oh my god, he's Jenny's like, how is he? I was like, he's you know, I thought he was dead. And then Jenny's freaking out. She was all drugged up from the surgery and they still had her open and she's like, am I okay, am I okay, am I gonna live? And I'm just like, oh my god, my life's over and my life is completely over. I've literally thought my life

was over and then it all ended up okay. So I was just kind of like, I don't know what I'm gonna talk about. I definitely don't have the same worries. I don't have the same motivations that I used to have. I see these people talking about all this crap online about like you know, hybrid programs and all this crap, and I sit there and I'm like, I don't care. They can talk about whatever they want to talk about.

You know why, Alex, Because the good people in this world who seek the truth and they have a real spiritual phenomenon occurring within their soul where they are like magnetically aligned to truth and actual, real truth, they're gonna find a way.

maybe it'll change. But right now it's like, I hear my baby crying right now every three hours. I gotta keep him fed, and I I keep thinking back to the hospital, which also feels like a lifetime ago, and that intense fear of thinking he was dying, and then we only had him in the room for a few hours with us, and then they had to take him

and keep him on oxygen, you know. And then at three am, the pediatrician comes into our room and they're like, we're thinking we're gonna have to take him to the NICK if he can't figure out how to breathe on his own. And I'm just like, oh God, this is it,

this is it. It's not over. It was one thing like his temperature wouldn't stabilize, then it's glucose because of his glucose levels, and then he couldn't figure out how to breathe on his own, and it was just all this stress that Now I'm like, the only thing I care about anymore is just keeping that little baby going and keeping them happy. So I'm gonna keep doing what I've been doing. I love doing the show, I love doing all of this. It's a fundamental part of my life.

And you know what we do and who we are. I'm not trying to like freak anybody out. I'm just saying I don't feel that i'm the same as I was. I feel different about everything. So that's all I'm trying to say. Whatever goals I had before, whatever path I was on, I'm on a different path now. That's that's, that's all I'm saying. So thank you guys for supporting us and you know, believing in us and just being

there with us the whole time. Oh, you know what I should say, Alex is I know that this will be out after that, But Alex in two days, I'm very excited because he's about to go to his first conference. He's going to contact Modalities. So and that's a good point that next week we'll be able to talk about that on next week's episode. That's exciting. Give me another little softball to ease and too write. So I am looking forward to how that goes. I'm really excited about it.

The fact that you get to go experience the conference. It sucks that I won't be there, but it's okay because my family will be there and you'll be in great hands. You'll have great time. You're gonna come back blah blah blah blah blah bla blah blah. You're gonna have such a good time. I can't wait to hear it. And then and just a few weeks after that, we're going to California together. We're going to contact in the desert, and I'm looking forward to that one too. So this

month will keep me busy, and it'll definitely keep me busy. Oh, I should go ahead and say this too. Naturally, I had to take off of my Monroe Institute programs because obviously, you know, preparing for baby James to come into the world. But now that he's earthside, I've been trying to get back on my feet, especially because of the emergency surgery. I've had to be very attentive to Jenny and the baby. For the first you know, a week or so, she

was like kind of struggling to even walk. Now she's done a lot better, but it's just it's just very intensive, so I haven't really had the time to to kind of do my own things. I've been kind of taking care of the family. But very soon we're kind of like seeing sunnier days now and it's getting better. So Jenny and I are having talks about like, I got to get my website done. Real world's knocking on my door. I got to kind of get out there and start doing something again. And I will say I do miss

I really do miss doing the Monroe stuff. It's only been a couple months. But I really miss it. I think the last program I did was like January maybe, and it's coming up on, coming up on I think May in a couple of days, so I'm working on it. I'm working on I did get certified to do virtual programs. I just hadn't announced that yet because my website wasn't finished. But I'm very close to finishing my website and then I'll get right back to it and I look forward

to having people join for those classes. So my website, I should have more information on that soon to be able to book classes. I hope you guys have a run. I'm tripping over my words there. I felt like Scooby Doo for a minute. I was about to say, wonderful, raggy raggy ru. I hope you guys have a wonderful West. Dang it, bye, guys.