240: Reflection

You get to see clips from the show, and it's just a great way to stay in tune with what we're doing. Check out our website blodsosaid so dot com. You can find all of our links on there, all of our merch which we have a new drop. I'm very excited about it. And you can also find links to our Patreon, which is if you just type it

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We're going to have some new tears and uh yeah, I'm just I'm really excited about that. And then we got to talk about contact modalities twenty twenty six. The theme for this year, Oh, Alex, remind me on the date May first, second, and third. There's going to be four stages, thirty experts and they're going to have simultaneous presentation so that you can kind of pick and choose which ones you want to go to, and there are

going to be four sky watches. It is the Lake Lawn Resort in Delavan, Wisconsin, and is a beautiful place. I truly really regret that I'm not able to go. I'm honestly really regretting it. But I'm going to have a newborn baby that's like three weeks old, so I'll

have exciting things to deal with. But while I'm home feeding my wife and baby and making sure they're alive, Alex is going to be there at the Lake Lawn Resort with my dad and my brother Chris Junior, and my sister having a ball meeting all of you wonderful, lovely people who want to go and say hello and

join in on the skywatches. So pay attention to what tier of ticket you buy, because there are going to be three sky watches available to the population, the general population according to your ticket here, and then there's going to be a fourth and final VIP SkyWatch that we are going to give away slots. It's already maxed out by the way. You can't buy for this one. It's already sold out, but with the giveaway that we're doing,

there will be slots available to be one. And at the final VIP SkyWatch, there will be buses that will shuttle people to a private location for a intimate SkyWatch with my dad and with our people, and it'll be awesome. So check out Contact Modalities. Let's hit them with the website.

a great atmosphere. It's very open to you know, if you're into this, come, if you're into psychedelics, Come, you want to do sound healing, you want to do mindsight, you want to do you want to see telepathy, you want to talk about UFOs or whatever, like, just come. It's for everybody, and it's truly a magical place and it's beautiful and you don't want to miss it. So be sure to check them out and thank you to

them for sponsoring our show. Now, Alex and I were talking about it before we started recording, and he thought it would be a really good idea to dig a little bit more into this. And I'm like, whatever you say, I mean, right right, right, whatever you say. I mean, I'm in charge. Yeah, I'm more of the opinion. You just show and you just do, you know, and you don't talk, talk, talk talk about what you do. But sure, I mean you know, I'll humor you, I'll throw you

a bone to make you doss island fed. But since okay, so let's go through the time. Like a hungry ghost over here. Yeah, that's right, that's right, and your greed consumes you. But in all seriousness, so Nick left the show in July. To you guys, it was August because it was you know, a week or so of like figuring out what we're gonna do, recording his last episode,

all that, airing it at the end of August. But in reality he left the show on it was like July twenty eighth, or the night that he came over and was like, you know, I'm I'm gonna be phasing out of this, and Alex and I got to talking a lot like Okay, well that sucks. It's a bummer, but let's you know, figure out what's next to keep the passion of this alive and to keep it on track.

And you know, none of that stuff was ever a question like, yeah, we're obviously going to still do this, but what's it going to look like, how's it going to be? What form will that take? The structure, the process, everything, We just you know, really decided to look at the whole picture and like where are we going to go from here? And it was a while, I think because of that transition period. It took us a while to

really like get into the swing of things. And then the other thing that was crazy was we knew that you had a baby coming in December, so we were in this weird evolutionary period or you could say like a bardo based on you know, the last week's theme, but we were in this weird space of Okay, so Nick just left. We got to figure that out and what that's going to look like.

have to wait. Yeah. So the point I'm making without going in circles is like we had to figure out how we were going to get through that period of you know, transitioning to the new feeling of the show without our third partner and the guy who typically fills the air time and the dialogue with me, to you know, growing into a whole new thing while also facing a wall in a few months where Alex was gonna have the most important thing in his entire life happened, and

his baby be born and take off an entire month, so and there's the holidays anyway, you know, Christmas time, so we're like, what do we do? You know, so we it took a little bit to catch our stride, and then around about October, I guess some some things occurred to me. I mean, in the beginning when he quit, I knew that the new direction that I was going to want to go in. But in October something happened that confirmed it to me that this was the way to go, that it would, you know, be how it's

supposed to be. And essentially what that is is I realized that in the past and there's nothing wrong with this, and it was very fun, but I realized that it wasn't sustainable for me and fulfilling to continue doing the content at random and because of the nature of the first you know, four years of the show and Nick not having lived here for those first three years, so

that was insane. So our schedule was just like, hustle, hustle, hustle to make the show even stay alive with us all not living in the same town, and you know, figure out, okay, when he comes and stays two weekends a month. Each time, he stays, we have to do three episodes, which means throughout the week I had to hit you know, three topics worth of research or whatever to where I felt confident in some way to talk

about something. Because there's a level of pressure I'm going to record something, I'm going to talk about it, and it's going to go out to the internet to thousands of people. There's a level of pressure or performance anxiety or whatever. So it was it was that hurdle of like trying to survive that state, and you know, I don't know what we're going to talk about for three topics this week. I mean that was the first three years,

you know what I mean. So it was like, well, let's do a movie, then let's do a what if. Then we'll do like a topic, and that way will split the workloads so that we're not mentally burned out

and we can sustain. And it went on like that for a while, and then he moved here for the last year that he was on the show, and you know the problem there is then I bought a house and I went through like so many months of construction and was completely mentally burned out and It's just the point is there were so many things that were like constantly being tossed up in the air where we you know, despite how well the show has done by some measures,

to us, it's always kind of felt sometimes like hanging on by a thread. I mean, at least to me, like I'm not doing enough, I'm not getting out there enough, I'm not publishing enough, I'm not hitting it hard enough. Just hanging on, you know. And then and again that's okay, Like it was fun and we were learning and we were growing. And you look at like Joe Rogan, for example, he has how many episodes, he has two thousand or

something episodes. Dude, for the first one hundred or two hundred, he probably was like, had no clue what he was doing. For anybody that does something in the beginning, they probably have no clue what they're doing. That's totally normal with art, with whatever. And you know, I'm not like knocking how we were what the show. I mean, it was great, it was pure. I still think of the older days of the show and the nostalgia of how that was and the process and the vibe and the fun of it.

But I knew in my head and from episode zero, and also I should mention this is the most important part actually that along the way, I can't speak for you, Alex, but at least me personally, I went through extreme levels of growth and healing and maturity, where in the beginning of the show, I don't feel like I was very mature about the way that I presented myself to the world. Now, when I say mature, I don't mean like, you know, push your glasses up and tuck into your shirt and

do your taxes and get a job. That's not what I mean. I just mean like emotionally mature or spiritually mature. I don't feel that I presented myself in a way that is without regret sometimes because I had a lot of trauma and I felt like I was lashing out. You know, there were certain aspects of me that I

felt were, you know, getting revenge against that. Not that I thought that consciously, it was subconscious, right, I'm getting revenge to the people in the CIA who threaten to kill us or whatever what WASDIA technically, but you know, or the people that cyberstalked us online, or the people that harassed us or doubted us or mocked us, and somewhere in my mind, somewhere deep down, I was like, you know, fuck you guys, like I'm getting back at you,

and you know, and that was wrong. And so that's another element too, that like throughout the years, it's this is our fifth year. We're going into the fifth year of the show. Wow, I know, right, that's insane, Like you're not even in high school for five years. But it's gone by in a flash. It really has, hasn't it. It feels like we just started.

man that for two different people. Now, would me in episode eleven, Alex or whenever I got a microphone?

But yeah, and there was a lot of growth too that happened in the background in our lives since we started the show. We're not in the same place we were then. We are now. My dad put out a book. You know, lots of amazing things have happened, the mass sky watches that came from this, and you know, I don't have to stay here and go through five years of all the incredible things that have happened and the

hard things that have happened. But we have grown. But it always felt like, for whatever reason, we were hanging on by a thread and running on fumes, at least for me. So Nick left the show basically to the public. It came out in August, and I had time to think about, you know, the direction that I wanted to go, and I realized that I had to get serious that

twenty twenty six was only a few months away. There's a lot of pressure there, and I had a responsibility most of all, to fill the void of this show, because you know, it's a whole different element going from having somebody who talks, you know, forty or fifty percent of the time and now it's basically mean ninety five percent of the time, you know, And that was a big mental hurdle to learn how to overcome, you know. But I realized that there was a thread that I

wanted to pull. I wanted to start going in a certain line talking about things that mattered to me without like some sort of random This week, let's talk about Stargate, fun episode. But who cares? You know, I care.

like that. Again, I'm not saying never, but I just realized I had to get serious, that there are troubling times ahead for humanity, and that I felt really compelled like I had to start pulling a certain thread. So when this begin was the episode called the Goddess and Alex, you probably didn't realize I was going to talk about this, but it's important, and some things have happened around that episode.

And we recorded that episode in September. It's right after Nick quit, you know, and we had guests lined up and with this thread that I decided that I wanted to be pulling in between a lot of these episodes. There have been guests, which is fine, and that's like I still will do guests and I love doing them. But it started with the Goddess right, So we recorded that in September. Something happened in that episode. We talked about a story that I had never heard of, which

was the Miraculous Medal. It's the one with Katherine Leboor in eighteen thirties and she basically sees all the lights on in the chapel and she goes outside to see, like what's going on. She walks into the church and the lady in the form of the Virgin Mary is inside the church and she, you know, Catherine goes and like kneels down and puts her head in her lap or whatever it says happens, which got laburee. Oh, labree, Catherine, laburee, labree. I didn't realize that we go ahead and say it.

something happened to me. I realized that, you know, this was this was a great story, that there was something to it. And I was like thinking to myself, oh my gosh, I want one of those medals. I really want one. And that was on a Wednesday, and several days go by. From Wednesday to Saturday, my wife and I were cleaning this room, the studio. We were reorganizing it. We were throwing old junk away. When Nick quit, we were all like, okay, well, let's kind of like streamline

the room. We obviously he had stuff in here, and we took it and we gave it to him, and we were like, well, let's make it simpler. Alex did a lot of wire clean up stuff. Ginny puts some uh you know, paint on the walls and things like that,

and cleaned out a lot of trash. She was in this room for like four hours on that Saturday, the very Saturday of the week that we recorded that episode, and she's going through y'all can't see it, but behind over by Alex there's a closet and there's like a cubicle cabinet with a bunch of different cubby with like boxes and trays of I mean, there's a ton of stuff back there, camera cases, tripods, just cords, cables, stuff like that, right, And there's like several little boxes of

fan mail and things that fans have sent us to our po box. And Jenny starts going through it and she's like, Ryan, what are these And she pulls out like six of the Miraculous metal. I said, oh my god, I forgot Someone sent me that a year ago, but I had no clue what it was. It was just like a little plastic wrap envelope with the story printed on it and the metal and that came to me like a year ago and it was like, you know, here's one for every member of your family and for

the guys on the show. And I was like, oh, that's sweet, and I put it in the thing. And I don't see my family for months at a time, so like I had the intention to give them one, but it was like I forgot it was in a drawer, you know, And so I thought that was an incredible synchronicity. Oh man, I really wanted these medals, and I had not only one, but I had six the whole time. How crazy, right, It's like I manifested the medal even

though I already had it. A few nights later, my brother was over and it was actually Wednesday, the next Wednesday.

that we're you know, talking about this. That night, my brother and I I started to tell him about the story. Oh my god, Junior, I have one of these metals for you. I've been holding on to it for a few days. I start to tell him about the eighteen thirties story of Catherine Laboret and Labret or whatever, about what happened how you know, just you know, basically tell the story. And it was about eleven PM and my wife texts me and she says, did you turn on

the light in the shed in the backyard. I was like, no, I haven't been out there in a week. And it has a coated padlock that you cycle through the It's like a manual lock with a number sequence. And only I know it. My wife didn't even know it. She can't remember it and she never goes out there. And I have tools out there, you know, mom over and all that stuff. So I go and I look out the back window and sure enough, the lights are on in my shed. And I was like, that's really weird.

And Chris Junior is like, yeah, let's go check that out. And he grabs his nine milimeter like someone breaking in. I don't know, let's go investigate, and I grab my knife. I'm like, this is kind of weird. You know, you just never know what you're gonna bump out. There could be someone in there. So I walk up to my shed. The lights are on. Lock, it's locked, I unlock it. I walk in there. The switch is flipped on. The

lights are on. Me and Jr. Are in the room and we're kind of like looking around, like, uh, how to how the lights turn on? And then we both heard a loud knock in the room and we looked at each other and it was like our whole bodies filled with static and we were like kind of stunned, and we didn't we didn't like for there was a few seconds we didn't speak, and it was like you heard that right, Like we we reacted to this sound. I was like you heard that right. It was like yeah,

I heard that. And then we were like uh, and I started looking around the room. I'm like, Okay, there's nothing in here. Junior is like, was it a raccoon? No, it wasn't a raccoon. Uh. And we ruled out everything that it could have been that was physical or a person or something, and uh when when we realized that it was something supernatural, Junior it was funny, but he

was also serious. He was he was being funny, but he was also so spooked that he was I don't know how to explain it, but like he was like im thinking that, you know, we don't really haven't reason to hover around anymore. And I was like, yeah, I think you're right man. You know, I'm I'm not trying to sit Oh, I have my flashlight. I'm not trying to sit around and play Scooby Doo with this shit and go, you know, figure out what's in the corner.

And we flop the light, locked the shed and we got the hell out of there and we went inside, and then for like thirty minutes we were in shock, and we were like we were realizing nothing physically did that. I had a pile of doors leaned against the wall, like four doors. Those doors right there, they can't see them, but you can doors from around the house, a couple of doors that we had to get new doors because

we changed the casing and all that. So I had like three or four full sized doors out there in my shed, and they were like a forty five degree slanted pile leaning against my wall. And it was like the sound came from inside that pile, like if you imagine a fish just like hard banging on wood. We were standing right beside it, and there was no thing in there with us, and we just like it dawned on us, Oh my god, there was an entity in

that room with us. Oh my god, the story of Catherine labore The light was on in the chapel and she goes out to the chapel and the lady was in the chapel. Well, that just happened to me as I was I had the medal in my hand and I was telling my brother the story of Catherine Laboree going out to you know, the chapel and the goddess being in there. And while I was verbally telling him the story, at eleven PM, my wife texts me and

I look, hey, the light's on on our shed. And in that moment, in the present, I wasn't thinking of the connection. It dawned on me after, Oh my god, I just had a Catherine labore moment. I didn't see the lady, but she had to be in that room with me, that there was something that, you know, did that loud bang, and we felt a presence like an

electricity through our bodies. And that day was the day that that episode came out and by the end of the day it was up at like fifteen thousand views or something like that, or by by the you know, the second day or the third day, it was a crazy number that for our channel is very unusual. And I realized that it was it was the Goddess confirming. It was the you know, the lady confirming, like, you go on this path, follow this path, get serious, it's time to grow up, it's time to you know, help

people and inspire people. So obviously I was really shook by that experience, and I went down a thread and I still don't know what I want to say with that thread is, but it's been more like a thread of my intuition compelling me to And again I didn't even want to talk about this. Alex insisted I wasn't gonna just come out and be like I have a plan for you know, it's like, there's no point. But Alex really insisted, So I'm just trying to make you happy,

So I don't and it's working. What's working. I'm happy, Oh good, all right, Well, as long as you're happy, that's what matters. Because to me, I'm just like you just you do it. You don't say it.

because we are recording it. But like, you know, I feel like I'm growing right along there with the listener, you know, and I'm on my spiritual path the way that I imagine the people who listen to this are, you know.

And so it's I don't know, I just I just love giving a chance that like, hey, this is what's going on behind the scenes, and like, let's take a pause and reflect and together take a look back at these last handful of episodes and and tell you what we've been thinking outside of this studio.

that and all this stuff. It just really got me interested and thinking about it again, especially as it relates to that Bardo, because you really kind of break that because the bardo exists because it's a liminal space because you're not thinking about it and you're more or less on autopilot. Yeah, so by breaking that, you're forced to almost live in the reality instead of in that liminal space. And I wonder if that's all connected, you know what I'm saying.

bit of random you know. It's like sometimes with a guest, it's like we've been talking for a year and it finally works out schedule wise, or we just met and it's like, hey, your show is cool, want to come on? You know. That's that's separate to me. The main show has always been when it's just us and guests are like a very fun bonus and I don't really have any Because of the realistic nature of busy lives and schedules, it's very hard to coordinate linking up, you know, with

other people sometimes. So that's just like you take them what you can get them. I have about ten guests right now that I should be calling, but Alex and I have been so focused on just trying to stay locked in, you know, So it's like removing the guests from our catalog. I'm just going to go back to the episode called the Goddess and then move through the thread of episodes that we've put out that are like

main episodes where you can say canon. Keyword here is that in the first four years of the show, we would say it's been a while since we've done a canon episode, right like when Nick was on the show too. We haven't done anything canon. You know. We've done one on Star Wars, we've done one on Lord of the Rings. Just hypothetically, we've done what if, we've done this, we've done that. We haven't done one that's like about the

phenomenon or something in a while. That was the vibe behind the set, you know, for four years, and now to me it's like I had been trying to focus on all of them being that way, at least to me, things that are important to me. So removing guests since October, it's been in order the Goddess. LED's a story Part one. Let's a story part two, because in the almost five years of doing this show, we had never by my design,

had never fully told the story the Apocalypse. Interesting, well, uh, twenty twenty six is coming skipping through the guests, the Dark Force had to talk about that one. Huh, look what's coming out today? The Golden Age, the UFO phenomenon. Oh, let me back up, Yeah, I flopped that. There's the Dark Force, then the UFO phenomenon, then the Golden Age. We're getting somewhere there's an order to this, well, duh.

I wanted to set up the Dark Force to then talk about the truth of the UFO phenomenon, which is that a lot of the lies out there are really the Dark Force, and that the Dark Force is the parasite, the mental the mitote or the wind to go or the Weaitiko or the arkon or you know same, it's it's the mental parasite. So I had to set that stage and then move into UFO and then talk about

you know the reality of that. Then the Golden Age twenty twenty six awakening interesting and so in a few weeks span we did Apocalypse, Golden Age in twenty twenty six awakening. What comes after that initiation, Well, that's what's happening next for humanity. We're being initiated into the higher knowledge. Then, uh, you know, Egregres, why is that? I was just showing Alex. I had notes in my phone from November where I

was talking. I'll just read them. It was h hold on, I closed it out, so I gotta pull it up. I had notes from November saying reality model, build that then talk about emanation theory and the afterlife and purgatory. So that was in November that I had been talking about, you know, setting the stage for you know, injecting that into the conversation. So eagergres thought forms the emanation theory

of reality. So again, it's like it's so few and far in between some times that we get to record these because we get a guest or whatever pops up. But it's just this thread that we've been following, and you know, some other things have happened to me too. So a few months ago, my sister came over and it was one in the morning and we were getting home from the state of the world for him and my sister and I. This was before Christmas, and we

were just kind of having a heavy conversation. I think the end of twenty twenty five was heavy for a lot of people, just energetically for the world really, and there were extreme solar flares going on and just you know,

all kinds of events in the world. A lot of people were feeling bleak, a lot of people I know and have heard from, and just the general temperature, and Emily and I were just having a conversation and literally around one in the morning, we heard a voice in my kitchen and I thought it was my sister and she thought it was my Alexa, and then going through the process of ruling out everything, asking Alexa, checking the log you know, on the app, and asking her, did

you just speak She's like, the last time I gave a notification was eleven am. It's like, okay, he wasn't her. And this voice was a woman's voice, but it spoke very fast, and it sounded like wah wah wah wah, like on the Peanuts, you know, Charlie Brown when the adults speak and you can't understand it and it sounds like gibberish. But it was a woman's voice. And when my sister and I realized that we had both heard it and then went through that same process I went

through with my brother. We ruled out everything. We were like, okay, I guess we got to be positive, you know, the lady's speaking to us. That night, I went to sleep and I had a dream. And when I woke up the next day and I got in the shower, I was like washing my hair or something, you know, how like you can and this is totally real. Like it's not a theory, but like you know, a lot of times when you get in the shower, you go into

a meditative trance state. It's like a ritual, a process where you just you get into the groove of doing the water. It's cleansing to where you just go into sometimes altered states Albarda Alvardo, Yeah, but seriously, Like and I just was in the shower and it just like clearly flashed into my mind the dream I had the night before, and I was just like, oh my god, I just you know, sometimes throughout the day you get a flash and you're like, oh, I remember my dream.

And in my dream it felt real and a being. It wasn't the Lady, but it was a glowing light being. It spoke to me and it said, if you want to understand us, you have to raise your vibration. So I was like, okay, I'm going to work on raising my vibration. Just by Alex and I have been talking about this, you know, prayer, meditation, and the way of Light. That wasn't on the list that I just but that was the conclusion that I had been building through the

whole time, was the way of Light. I wanted to set that stage, you know, working up towards that episode. That's why I did Dark first and then progressed into you know, the Way, because I believe that's that's that this, this knowledge, although trivial, is the most it's what it's all about. This is the awakening of humanity. That it's about remembering our true nature, which is that we are divine and that our body is a temple for God, so that we have to It's like as above, so below, well,

what's above? It's God? Right, So we are God, but not I am God. That's the ego, that's the left hand path, not the I Am God and the lucifer sense that you're above no no, no, no, no, no no no. You are a reflection of God. You are the image of God. But paradoxically so not only are you divine and that spark is within you, but it's like a paradox that you also have to humble yourself to the higher forces. So there is a God above you. People don't like that. They like they don't like authority.

They want to be this, you know, liberated, rebellious, you know, not liberated in the good way either, but liberated in the free to degeneracy and do what they want with no consequence. That's wrong, it's not the way. The true way is through you are constantly on the journey of evolution, and that you in order to evolve, in order to grow, you have to aspire to embody the light. You have to live in the light. You have to embody the

teachings of Christ. It's the best example because you know, Tibetan, Buddhism, all that stuff. It's great, it's fantastic. It's damn sure, not easy to understand for the majority of the world, and it's very esoteric. For the seekers, it's wonderful, you know, it's amazing. But I believe that the story and the message in the Teachings of Christ are the most distilled and easily available and understandable version of that message. Christ

consciousness is the way. And you know, the point is not to say you got to be a Catholic and you got to you know, can confess the nice and creed or whatever it is that they say, and you know, do mass and all that stuff. No, that's wrong, that's not the point. It's not about who you worship, it's not about do you believe in Jesus or not. I don't care about that. The point is you have to embody it's a vibration. You have to think of it

like physics, like tuning forks. If you have one that says one hundred hurts and one that says two hundred hertz and you go ding, they're not going to resonate, They're going to clash, and they're not going to be in harmony. So the hundred hurts is not in alignment with the two hundred hurts, no matter how hard you want it to be. One of them is higher on a higher octave of vibration, many octaves of vibration. So you have to embody the ideals of the higher teachings

to evolve and human form the teachings of Christ. Or you could think about it like the Way, the way of life as I like to call it, because it's universal. It's the heart. It's being centered in the heart and having a coherence between the mind and the heart. Which what is of the heart? Well, love, kindness, humility, virtue, justice, all of the ideals of Christ, the seven virtues. So Christ followed the way he taught, the way he said, I am the Way and the truth and the life.

For none can get to the Father except through me. Jesus never said worship me as God. He never did that. That only ever came around after he was killed. People took over, like the Apostle Paul and others, and they added all these creeds. If you like, separate all the text of the New Testament and you create a list and you're like, okay, doctrine number one, doctrine number two,

doctrin number three, where did they come from? Or you take all the different apostles and you list all their doctrines. Jesus's doctrine was like, don't worship me, don't take a master or a rabbi. Worship God alone. For God is light and spirit and truth. And there are two laws or two commandments. Really love your God with all your heart, mind and soul, and love your neighbors, you love yourself, and that the sin. He even goes on to say

this with the Sermon on the Mount. I'm pretty sure in the Book of Matthew, if it's not that specifically, it's definitely in there. He talks about the sin is not when you harm someone with your fist, but it's with the thought to harm them with your fist. So when you really need, we should do a gospel series, because we've never really done that. I've been avoiding it for a long time. That would be really fun, actually, and I would like to take time for that one.

But you can very clearly see that there is an alignment between even the canonical teachings of the man Jesus Christ. When I say the man Jesus Christ, I'm not doing that. Just be blasphemous to say, wasn't divine because a lot of people get really upset about that. It's not what I'm saying. When I'm saying the man Jesus Christ, I'm seeing the actual read letters of Jesus Christ in the Bible, versus what the man Paul said about Jesus or what the man Timothy said of I don't care about what

they said as much. Some of it has value, some of it has been added, and scholars debate if it's authentic, and YadA, YadA YadA. I don't care about all those little chripes and all those little details. It's the message, it's the way, it's the intention behind your thoughts. Do no harm, be good, be This world is fucked up because we've forgotten this. And even Christians, some of them are the worst for this that they think, oh, you know,

I go to church, I'm good. You know, I can be snorting coke on a Saturday night and banging strippers and partying and you know, doing hard criminal drugs and activities and then go to church with Sunday. I'm fine, I'm good. It doesn't matter. That's exaggerated. But there are people like that that they think just because they're saved, that you know, well, you know, I'm a Christian, you're not, so you know, you like, it doesn't matter what you think,

and that's not right. That's not the point. It's not about what you believe or whatever. It's about your actually

the vibration of your being. And you know, I wanted to talk about the Eaglegers so bad because you have to realize that whether you believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross and rose from the dead or not, it doesn't matter because we know, especially you know, if we consider Tibetan Buddhism to be important or valid or have any sort of truth in it, and you know, Western esoteric traditions and it goes on and on down the line that you could see all these examples of

them saying that the universe is thought, and that we manifest through thought, and that even we are manifested through the thought of God. So the very notion of billions of souls throughout the last two thousands of years charging the symbol of Christ, whether he physically exists or not, it doesn't matter. He's real and there is a power

behind this psychic force. And I'm telling you that there are traditions around the world that when they initiate you and to their sanctum, they understand this better than you and me, and they invite this force to be embodied into you or a priest or a preacher or a bishop or whatever. They understand that there is a power behind this force, and they channel it into you when they you know, the laying on of hands or whatever. These forces are very real, these mental forces, the thought forms,

and the invisible world. So it doesn't really matter if you believe Satan is literal or not, or Jesus is literal or not. The universe is composed of many different subtle layers of emanated thought form, from invisible immaterial down to the expressed gross material, and our consciousness is in every layer in between, existing simultaneously. It's a multiverse, but not like you see in the movies. It's more like a psychic one where you're being exists in all realities simultaneously.

So when you believe something consciously or unconsciously, your mind, through its psychic faculty, is latching onto and attaching to this force and inviting in to have a resonance in your being. So that's why it's so important to align with the light. You don't have to believe in Jesus. You have to believe in the message to and it doesn't have to be Jesus. You know, it could be whatever.

I just think it's the best one. I think. It's like, you've got seventy years to live, stop wasting your time. It's about efficiency that we talked about this months ago. It's like, you know, if I gave you an ar assault rifle or a sling shot, and it's like, you know, thirty people are about to come and try to kill you and take your wallet and break into your house and murder your son, Like which one do you want?

What the ar? It's efficient? Why you know I wouldn't waste time with you know what I'm saying, Like, I'm serious, like and in some respect the search for truth and the search for a cult knowledge or the hidden knowledge or whatever, there comes a point where you become more or less like a metaphysical scientist, and you're sifting through so much crap that you're just trying. You're trying to get to truly what works, what's the quickest path, what's

the truth? Right? And it goes full circle when people go through, you know, it seems like it comes back to Christ. You go full circle too. I was an atheist, you know, I used to be a Christian and then I became an atheist, or then I became a whatever and I lost my religion. And then eventually you go through all these different things in life and you come full circle and you realize, well, Christ is real. I wasted so much time, you know what I'm saying, Like,

I don't care about the literal details. I don't care if he had a virgin birth. I personally don't know that that happened, or that it matters that it happened. Why why should I care about that? Just because it's so stressed as part of the Divinity by the authorities of the Roman Catholic Church, Like I don't really care about the things that they're obsessed about. I know he lived. I know that there are a lot of really interesting

people in this world who have alternative views. That you know, things like He and Mary Magdalene had children, and that you know they there's alternative versions, like the non Commodity Library. It's such a mystery. I think there's also a level of I think you have to have a level of detachment to and search for the truth, and you have to be humble, and you have to realize, well, I'm not going to know everything, and that's okay. I don't have the ability to know everything. Maybe I'm not ready

to know everything. I don't need to know everything. I want to know what I need to grow and to keep going. So anyway, I just want to distress. Like this message that I've been sort of seeking really for almost five years to get at was not just like you know, beating around the bush, but like the importance of Christ and the connection of the Lady in Christ.

That's been very important to me and I've been intentionally trying to set that stage since the Goddess episode in October and now to when we just recently had the Way of Light. So there you go, Alex. You wanted me to talk about the threat I've been pulling. That's been the thread. But again it's it's like, I want to stress that I'm not a fundamental. I wouldn't identify as my myself as a Christian. I would not say

I'm a Christian. I would say this is what when I think of my head, because people are like all the time online, are you a Christian? How I would say I'm a follower of Christ. I don't care about the religion.

fundamental Christian that was nine years ago. I was like twenty two or even more, maybe it was like twenty two or twenty three, and I realized, okay, you know this is I learned about gnossism basically, and it made me realize, okay, you know, the way that I grew up wasn't exactly the whole truth, and there's more to it.

So I've always been a follower of Christ, but I sort of rebelled against, you know, my fundamental teachings as an immature, young twenty something year old does it's just you know, rebel and or immature sometimes And I would always think like, okay, well, I know people alive today

who miracles happen and crazy supernatural things. I mean I've been privy to a lot of stuff, So there was no doubt in my mind that the man Jesus two thousand years ago, because of the following that has amassed, that there was something to this that made ripples throughout consciousness. He had a crowd of five thousand as all the texts go about him. That's pretty huge for back then, dude. And you know, so he was clearly something amazing and

he was doing something powerful. But back then, I was like, but what does it matter? Liked, you know, maybe he did die, maybe he does have bones on earth, maybe the virgin birth didn't really happen. That's where I was back then, And I was like, but that doesn't matter. It doesn't make him any less special. He was still an amazing human with an amazing message, and he performed miracles, and you know, by all the counts and purposes, he

was divined. And now I've come full circle and I kind of do believe that he truly did transfigure into it being of light and ascend And I don't think his bones exist. What does it matter. It's just my opinion, you know, like, who cares? It's the message, But I think it's possible and I think a lot as possible.

And the whole reason that we followed this path and that he incarnated into this plane was to show us the way to embody the light and to know and believe in the light, and how to live the true way and what we can achieve when we live this path and we believe in the teachings. But it's not just about believe, it's about action. We talked about in the Tibetan episode, it was about the passive, feminine, experiential

and wisdom. That's belief, and we talked about the active which is UH you know, your your your actual projection into the world. You know, Like even even in Shivik Hinduism they talk about Shakti and Shiva or a gnosticism, we talk about the logos and the sofia, Like one element of you is the belief, the passive part, the wisdom, the experience, that nosis, having, having the actual, the the knowing of UH, you know, the divine and seeing through

the illusion. But then the masculine part, the logos, is the knowledge and it's the action. Like you have to have discipline, you have to have focus, you have to aspire, and you have to strive. So you have to have the masculine and the feminine or you will not awaken. It's just a fact. It's just the blueprint of reality, you know. So like you have to embody both. You have to be the Magdalene and the Christ. You know, you have to be the Father and the mother. You

have to be both. That doesn't mean what you think. It means other than you have to have knowledge and wisdom. You have to have action and devotion, contemplation. You know, it's a mystery, it's a paradox. You have to embody both of those forces. So you can't you can't evolve if you're stagnant and you're not taking steps to better yourself.

That doesn't mean be a powerlifter, but maybe, like you know, start eating better and start a routine of exercise and daily meditation and prayer, practice doing things that push your mind, body and spirit to grow. And it's not a sprint. It's a very humble and steady marathon, right and we fail every day, But the point is to aspire. Every little kid from the nineties watching Dragon Ball Z and they're like, damn, I'm fired up. I want to do push ups or whatever you know, I want to do

martial arts. It's like that before the spirit. That's what Christ is. It's an icon, it's a it's it's it's a it's a force that you invite in that you embody to evolve and achieve the solar initiation, right, because it's that solar force. We already did a whole episode on that, The Way of Light. But anyway, did I miss anything? I mean, is that what you wanted out of me?

It was November, definitely not November. But anyway, So I had that experience with the shed, and then back in December, I had the one where the voice spoke to me and Emily and then about three weeks ago, I had another one where well, I mean, I've had multiple, but these are all connected in my mind. I had another one, and it was two weeks before the release of the Epstein files. Thank god it did. I made the connection

after they came out. But I was laying in bed one night and I shifted into I wouldn't say it was an out of body state, but it was definitely an expanded state. It's hard to explain until you've experienced it because it's a spectrum of experience where you can be fully out of the body, or you can, you know, not really be aware of the body, but you're still there. I don't know how to explain it, but either way, I was having something happen, some sort of psychic message.

A voice spoke to me basically, and it said, never address the darkness, only address the light. And it, you know, led me to understand. It said that with words. It wasn't audible, like what I experienced with my sister was in here. It was in my head and it was like I had this the way I could describe it

as synesthesia. If people out there are familiar with synesthesia, It's like I'll be laying there, and then it's like the inner vision of my mind's eye completely like dissolves through this boundary to where it's like I'm not really in my physical body, but I'm in a blackness and there's like things around me, and it's like perfectly clear, like I'm actually there. I don't know how to explain it, but it happens. And my dad experiences this too a lot. And yeah, it spoke to me and it said, never

addressed the darkness, only addressed the light. And it sort of made me to understand, like when we put out the Dark Force of the UFO Phenomenon episode, what did I do? I addressed the darkness. We got a lot of criticism and a lot of people were upset over my opinions, and you know, whether whether I eloquently portrayed the or not. It made me understand what, you address the darkness, so when you do that, you invite it to attack you. So I was like, wow, I never

thought about that. So I said that, you know, never addressed the darkness, only addressed the light. You have to address the light, not only the force. But it made me to understand to the people it didn't say, don't study it didn't say, you know, you don't look away, good practice, but that's not what it was saying. It was basically saying, keep it positive, keep it about the light,

moving forward. And then boom Epstein stuff came out two weeks later, and it was like immediately I was like, oh, the phenomenon was telling me, you know, how to navigate this, not to go and make it about this too much, or talk all about this or you know what I'm saying. Who knows, maybe I would have. Everybody wants to say I know it all alone, and I did, you know, but a lot of people did. But that's not the point. The point is there's enough people out there talking about

super dark stuff. I feel really compelled to help people find the light and to you know, hold hands and help people not be afraid and to not let that dark force have power over them and keep them in fear. So it's like the phenomenon said, address the light. Okay, it's enough for me. So that happened to me. And then I had another one not really related to these three, but it was interesting, so I just figured I'll share it.

I had another one of those moments where it was like a synesthetic dissillusion of my consciousness where it's like, just like you know, it's like your even though your eyes are closed and you're wide awaken, you can see behind your eyelids and sometimes you get little colors and speckles in there. And then it's like, imagine that complete dissolves to where you're not really aware of your physical body.

It's not like you're out of your body, but it's like you're detached from I really can't explain it, it's complicated, but something like that happened. And I just saw a vision of like a grid pattern of like an army of millions of orbs around me, just constantly monitoring me and shining light down on me and protecting me and propelling me forward. So I was like, okay, yeah, that's interesting. And I went back and I read my notes from my monros To retreat I did last July, which was guidelines,

and I had a similar experience there. It's hard to remember sometimes because on a six day program you're doing like four or five hours of meditation a day for five days, so you forget a lot of the things that you experience, and that's why you're supposed to journal. But I had the same vision. I saw an army of millions of orbs of light around me. So this is a thing that keeps coming back from me in these expanded states. And I had a psychic at the

side games. Her name was Dana, not Dana Kippl, who's an amazing human and is a friend of mine who's been on the show. But it was a different Dana. And she was just like I met somebody with her that I didn't know, but they they had like were at the minrostitute together and this she was an older lady. They probably about like fifty, and they became friends at Gateway and she was like, you gotta meet her, dude,

she's for real. Something happened to her at the Gateway and it's like she opened up and now she hears spirits but like it's not bullshit, it's for real and it's like God and it's angels. And I was like, h I'm intrigued to you do you do you? And I didn't feel a weirdness from her. I felt a very realness like she was just truly something was happening to her. She was probably like nineteen or twenty or

she wasn't like some older, kookie looking. She was pretty normal looking, you know, young lady who seemed like something was really happening. So I was like, very interesting, do you have do you could I ask not to test you or to you know, catch you off card, but like, you know, I'd really like to know if you see anything around me. She didn't know me, she didn't know

who I was or what I was about. And she said, I've never seen this around anyone, but I see an army around you, and there's a feminine presence and I've never seen this many angelic entities around someone in my life. And that's a trend throughout my life that multiple people have told me, Like when I get reiki readings and every time when they get to my solar plexus they

start freaking out. I've had like three different people tell me that too, at least where they do the reki thing and they get to the solar plexus and they're like, holy shit, I've never seen one so massive. I've never seen the like your force field can't be impenetrated. I'm like, what does that mean? You know, I don't know. I'm like I'm seeking answers, like what does this mean? But

there's this thing that keeps popping up. And the reason I chose the name James for my son was because at the side games that was two days when Friday was when the side game started, or it might have been Thursday, but whatever, the first day was was two days after we found out we were having a baby, and we didn't know if it was going to be a boarder girl yet and we've had a girl name picked out for years, but we were like, but if it's what if it's a boy, you know, like what

We had a few names, but nothing one hundred percent said. I had been kind of in my mind tossing James around, but it never brought it up because it wasn't real. And I was like, well, dang, I really have to figure out a boy's name. And Jenny was like, why we don't have the gender picked? You know, I'm not picked, but you know what I mean, like, we don't know it, and uh, there's no point in discussing that if we don't know, And I was like, no, I really feel

like I'd like to figure out a boy name. I really want to figure it out, like desperately. The drive to side games, it was like all we talked about was the baby. And I kept coming back like, what about a boy? What about what about Arthur? What about James? And Alex of course picked Arthur and he had no clue we had been saying that. But I was like, I really like James. I really like James. It's special to me. It's the brother of Jesus, it's my uncle's name,

it's your great great grandfather's name. And she's just like, yeah, you know, it's probably. I feel like it's going to be a girl. And then somebody at the side games on the last day, not Dana, that was I'll just take a step back. So this guy named Jay by the way, he works at mon Rose tut and his name is Jay. Nobody there knew we were having a baby. I didn't even tell my parents. And he comes up to me on the last name and he goes Ryan, A message came through for me today that I feel

like I have to tell you. I don't know what it means, but I just keep hearing the word big brother, big brother, and I was like, ooh, maybe that'll make sense soon. Thank you Jay. And in my head, I was like, it's gonna be a boy because my grandfather, Ted is the big brother of my uncle James, and I wanted to pick that name because my nephew is Ted and then you know James. So in my head, I was like, that makes sense, that's not too much

of a leap. It's gonna be a boy, and I get to pick the name James, and this is a sign. And then that night when Dana told me all that other stuff about the feminine presence around me and the army of angels and all that, she said, and I'm getting a message too, something about there's a j name, a j name is coming through, something like jazz men, and I was like, that's close to James. Like that's that's pretty freaking close, you know, just switch some letters

around and remove. So I just I knew and I picked that name, and it was like a couple of weeks later we found out he was gonna be a boy. So I don't know how I got onto that. But I really don't know how I got onto that. I guess it was to just tell the story of Dana, you know, seeing the beings around me connected to my experience. But and then I felt like James's name was given

to me. Uh, it came to me, and then it was confirmed by the messages from from those other people, and yeah, it's just weird man, just weird and he's ourage negative. So hi, guys. Weird things happened in the weird, Weird, Weird