220: Religious Trauma & The Phenomenon w/ Chris Bledsoe Jr.

Weird things, weird, weird, weird.

Welcome to Bledsoe Said So everybody tonight. We are joined by my brother, Chris Bledsoe Junior. It's been a while, it's been about a year. Before we get into that. There's three things that right off the bat I wanted to talk about. So first and foremost, we do have our Instagram if you want to stay up to date on what's going on with us currently. You know, we post clips of the show every week, but most importantly we tend to announce our schedule with public events and

Terrific?

Nice? I would have been confused if you if it was any different.

Yeah, usually pretty happy, go lucky. But for all the people listening, I've been remodeling Ryan's house again. Yeah, doing some stuff and preparations. And it's been a long day.

Yeah, it's been it's been a long time.

But I'm good. Yeah, I'm hyped. You guys off all my toys.

Yeah, we do have some toys.

I brought my beauty.

Yeah, what's her name?

Oh, I haven't gotten that far yet. I haven't even thought the namer. Why don't we Why don't we ask the people who watch the show? What the namer?

Okay?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, ridiculous. Well yeah, that's that's a strong contender. I see the name Virtue on the hopper there. That's pretty cool.

Yeah that's a Virtue Spire loader. Yeah, the Virtue Spire five. It's like the newest gen loader. But it's actually really cool. It's all electric. You have a little button there to turn it on and it hears the vibrations from what I understand, and when the gun shoots it, hears it, it feels it, and it sees it, and it knows how many how fast to spin to feed the ball ten point five balls per second.

Wow, that's what it's. You've been really into paintball lately.

Yeah. Nice. Yeah, And I kind of do that with hobbies. I'm constantly back and forth between several different hobbies that I like to do, bank ball, magic, the gathering, flying model airplanes, fishing. I just kind of bounce back and forth to them constantly. Yeah, this year, I'm doing paintball. Who knows, next year I might be flying freaking kites. I don't know.

Yeah, awesome, I'll do it. I haven't played paintball in a minute. I'm not gonna lie.

It's a lot of fun, man. That's how I get closer to God. Yeah, kind of. You know, this is my happy place. That's where I meditate. It's where I forget about the rest of the world and all my issues that I have. I can just you know, focusing on what I love and be happy and you know, connect with other people, my friends. Yeah. I have events

That's awesome, dude. I've been watching your videos. It looks really fun.

It is, man, it really is what makes me happy.

That's awesome. Man, I have a lot of respect for that. I I I can't remember the last time I played paintball. I think it was probably like fifteen years ago. So I'm not really much into you know, super physical hort.

You got to have something to keep your your mind busy, you know, and your hands occupied. If you don't have something you enjoy doing outside of work and family and all that. If you don't have something you enjoy, what's the purpose. Yeah, you know, it's not worth it working all the time and just doing everything you're expected to do all the time without some fun. You got to enjoy your life. You got one. But you know, if you do things that you enjoy, like paintball and and

Yeah.

I wish, man, I wish. I have hope for some sort of future where we can do a lot more play and a lot less work. But who knows. But in other news, you've been to a lot of conferences this year. Huh yep, tell me.

About into uh something like five of them? Yeah, or so, I don't know, is that is that accurate? Four or five in the last since May? Yeah, quite a few.

I think four done?

Done a lot?

Yeah, what was that like?

Done a lot? It was great, It was pretty cool. I'm still trying to get used to talking to people in the public and getting on stage I did that at Contact in the desert. It was mind boggling.

Yeah, it was crazy.

I can get out, I can get on the paintball field and and and be shot at, and I'm scared to death to stand on a stage and talking for a couple of people. It's crazy.

Yeah. I think you handled it really well, man, and I really wanted to kind of talk about that, And especially in the last year, there's been a lot of growth happening where you go from not really wanting to talk about any of this kind of stuff at all around anybody, to sometimes sort of finding yourself on stage in front of a few hundred people and you had no clue We're even going to be there. I'm just curious, like, what's you know, dude?

My Really though my younger self would I wouldn't believe it.

Yeah.

If I had, you know, told my younger self that I'd be on a stage talking about UFOs, that I would have thought that I was crazy, right, no freaking away, that's my future. It took me a long time to even accept it, you know, to be okay with it that this is who I am, this is who I'm supposed to be. I ran from it I hid for I don't know, sixteen years, right, something like that. For a long time. Didn't want anything to do with it. I hated it, literally. I hated UFOs or aliens or angels,

Everybody know.

Yeah, my mother, my aunt's, my uncle's, my favorite ones. They all of them, Almost all of them told me that I was a liar, that I was on drugs, or that I was wrong or evil or messing with Satan or demons, And in my mind, I just knew the whole time that they were wrong. I knew what I saw. I know that I'm not crazy, and really the way that I felt at it as a seventeen year old boy, I felt like that I felt like the preacher knew everything. I felt like I could trust him.

I have a good heart.

I take care of my family, and I know that I don't do witchcraft. I don't. I don't do evil stuff. I'm not an evil person. I play paintball. Does that make me evil? Yeah? No, I'm seeing these freaking I'm not saying yes. Yeah, I'm just automatic. Does that make me an evil person? Does it mean that I How did I summon these demons? You know? These are questions.

I asked myself.

If the Church is telling me their demons, then I had to have summoned them. Why are they here? Right? So where's my answer? I need a answer? The Church can't provide it. So should I believe them? Should I go every Sunday and and dedicate that hour of my life every Sunday to a man who's calling me evil and has no idea what I'm talking about. He doesn't know it exists.

I saw it.

It's real, but he doesn't know anything about it, and what he's telling me it doesn't seem right. So I've been conflicted with that my whole freaking life. And when I was younger, it bothered me bad. You know it bothers you when you're when you're a devout Christian. It just likes to turn my whole world upside down. I don't know what to believe. I'm not the smartest person on the planet. You know. I'm not a I'm not a scholar. I don't know enough about the Bible. I

There's nothing wrong with what you're saying. All you're saying, is the community that you were around in your youth? Uh, you begin to question things?

Yeah, I don't.

I don't know how to word the way that I see things. So I probably sound like a bumbling idiot here on the microphone. But I have this feeling and I'm trying to express it to all these people that I don't know and I never spoken to. I don't know how they see things. I don't know how to word the way that I that I feel it.

You know, Yeah, No, you don't sound like sound like a dumb ass, not at all, not at all. That's why it's great. It's absolutely great.

The religious thing plagued me for a long time. You know, the I saw demons, I'm a demon worshiper. It's evil. I don't. I don't think I'm evil.

Well let's make that, let's make that clear. You didn't see demons.

No, of course I did.

It's what they were telling, That's what they told me. Yes, and they still I just wanted to make that clear. Yeah, and they still tell yeah, and they still say that, And.

Because of that, that's what messed me up, right, and they'll they'll never see it that way. It's only you know, white and black. For them, it's evil. You're being deceived. I don't think it's that simple. If I, how come when I pray to Jesus an orb of light appears? Should I just stop praying? Right? Because that's what the church is telling me, you know. I I can say, I can walk out in the backyard and just pray

Shout out to Mark. Yes, and PlayStation and place I love.

I love mine.

I love PlayStation. It's amazing. One of the best inventions of all time.

Actually.

But anyway, yeah, Mike, Mark, Mark and some friends were skywatching and Sedona, Arizona, and he texted me. It was like twelve thirty and he was like, yeah, we're out here skywatching. We haven't seen anything. And I said, I'll put some energy out there or something. Like that, and I thought about it and I realized, you know that I've seen Dad do it before. Like the History Channel, they did this whole what did they call it, the

No, not at all. Okay, I'm listening.

Okay, Well, anyway, we both ended up saying the prayer, and I thought that you know where there's many, will you know where many are gathered or whatnot, that they will. Yeah.

Dad is always telling us, that's what he tells us. He's telling us that's what it means, a tour more gathered in my name there I will be among them. He's always saying, you know, the more of us around trying to see orbs and everything. That's why the masky watches are always a prayer.

And they appeared for him in Sedona, Arizona, and I can show you. I'll show you the videos and the text and all. I mean, whether it actually happened because of the prayer I said, or the prayer he said, or was it just I don't know, but it happened right, and saying a freaking prayer brought it. I want a demon. It was a light, a ball of light. Demons should be appearing as a ball of white.

Right when you're praying.

Job, when you pray to God, people would say that Satan is you know.

White or whatever.

But yeah, well that's misconstrued. It also says, and again I don't I'm not necessarily a fundamental Christian, but I grew up reading the same books, so I know a few passages from it. And you know, again, there is a lot of truth in that. I'm not saying the Bible is wrong. I'm just saying there's more to it. I personally would say, I'm a gnostic Christian. You know there's more to it. But there is like one little

Actually, you know right here, Yeah, that was my thing. There's more to it, Yeah, there's definitely more to it. I think that Christianity isn't wrong or bad, but people are right, the people, the people translating it over time, and the people still to this day translating because that's what a preacher does. He just translates his way that he sees it. He reads it and interprets that passage the way he saw it, and then spills it out

I remember that well, guys, But I remember the shock as a kid of going through the exact same thing, except I was thirteen and I just remember that feeling of hearing how you were treated and how dad was treated and it bothered you. Yeah, of course it bothered me. And I had the same kind of thoughts of like, well, they don't know everything I thought they did, and there's there's a yeah, those of course I did, and I

Exactly.

At a very young age, I started questioning, there's got to be more to the truth than only the Bible. But that doesn't mean that it's wrong, right, it's.

Twisted, yeah, Or maybe they don't have all the pieces of the puzzle exactly. It's like trying to solve a twenty thousand piece puzzle with a thousand pieces.

Yeah, it's going to be a little hard, right.

Yeah, And I really hate to talk bad about any of my family. I'm still still choose to have a relationship with those people, even though they're judgmental towards me. Still to this day, sometimes they say hateful things, you know, talk bad about us on Facebook and in front of everybody, and especially behind our backs to the rest of the family. But I still choose to have a relationship with them

Whatever or anything extra anything.

But they are, you know, probably a good reason, a good part of why I stayed absent for sixteen years, I would say, And I would have so much anxiety. I could not sit here and look you in the face and talk to you about UFOs. It's hard to even put into words. It would literally feel like my brain is going to explode or my chest, and all I could do is cuss, you know, and run. Yeah,

Whoa.

Said the eyes And she said she realized at that moment, maybe he actually did see something. Maybe he's not lying.

About this for some reason.

Back then she told me that same thing, like when that happened really, Yeah, so I would have just told me since then.

But yeah, for for the longest time, she didn't believe me, and for those two years or so, were nobody in my household. I felt like nobody in my household believed me except for my father, and he wouldn't stop talking about it. And I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't, you know. I didn't want to be looked at as a liar, and I didn't want to talk about it, you know. But I still cared that they didn't believe me. You know, I still cared that even

Dude, you were a child, yeah, you know.

I legit lived homeless for weeks or a month one time on purpose. I had a house, I had a bed, I had a place to live. But I would rather had lived out on the beach with no clothes, no nothing to wear, the same shirt for like two or three weeks, then live at home where I had to deal with that. And I did that a lot. That that was just one specific time, I lived at this uh in Jacksonville, at the beach, and I lived there for a while homeless.

California.

Yeah, I went to California. I went to Calamuzoo. I went all over, dude. I went everywhere, and I lived. I went through some hard times that you know, the majority of people they.

Don't know about.

But it was all my doing. You know. I wanted to be that way. I didn't want to be home. I didn't want to be around family. I didn't want to I wanted to.

Be done with everything. You know, I hated everything.

Yeah, that's that's.

At one time, we had a good reputation, a great one when I was younger. You know, I was an adult when when all this happened.

Pretty much, I was seventeen.

I grew up working the cruise, Dad's cruise and working under this freaking empire you know we had. We were building one hundred houses a year. I was an adult pretty much, right, So I had this amazing reputation. I had fourteen four wheelers and dirt bikes, and and a two hundred thousand dollars RV and model airplanes twenty of them,

It's traumatizing. Yeah, it doesn't even describe it. The word traumatizing doesn't even I went.

From having all that to choosing to live homeless because I.

Didn't want to be around it.

Yeah, you sire, if you even knew any of that, well, he is a homeless thing. I did did.

These are all things of course I did. I've lived in the same house that you weren't in for months at a time.

I didn't exactly tell everybody what I was doing either.

Yeah, but I always knew later when they would have to go and get you because you were ready to come home. You know, I was aware of things manimally. These are all things that I've implicitly known that you've not necessarily said out loud for the first time. So thank you. But you know, let's shift gears for a moment because and we can go on and on and on about that all you'd like, but I have I have a question. Why do you think that it would

Well, I think now why what I actually believe is I think it had to happen that way. I think that that trauma is effed up as it is, and and all that that I went through was necessary. I think I had to go through all that to be the happy, go lucky, happy person that I am today. I feel like when you've gone through so fucking much that you're at your breaking point, you know, like you just can't go through anymore. You've been through it all,

I think that's very wise.

Yeah, yeah, huh. I think I've always kind of wondered that because I am normally a happy, go lucky person all the time, pretty much almost all the time.

Almost all the time, I'm.

Almost always a happy, go lucky person, and most people around me aren't like that negative all the time. It's true, and I get in negative spurts as well. I was like that today at some point. We all do. Yeah, it's kind of rare for me.

I think it's completely okay to sometimes feel beaten down by the world and feel like you just don't have any positivity to muster. That's totally fine, that's natural as part of being human. We have hard days, you know. Not every acorn that falls from the oak tree grows into a tree. Sometimes nature just grinds it down and it doesn't always go the way that you know, that acorn wanted to grow. Sorry, sometimes nature is a little cruel, and that's just the sad truth about reality, right, Yeah,

He is very brilliant.

Ye, he's very good at super happy that he did what he did, even though it was tough and even though you know, his son hated him for a time. That would have been enough to make me quit right then. You know, if Teddy was mad at me and hated me because I was talking, I would have never talked about a UFO again. But he has a certain level of courage.

That I don't have.

That's why he was picked.

I think, I don't.

Know, he has a level of No, I don't think you're wrong. I think if we're going to be honest about our father, I think he has a level of courage and resilience there's very few men.

Very few have.

Yeah, he's one of the real ones.

Yeah, he's a g G, straight up G he is, and people.

Just yeah Abraham Lincoln type mother.

Yeah, seriously, he's kind of likes he's a really smart guy. But but but back to what we were just talking about, because I think you've said a lot of really why stuff, and also I had just full disclosures. I had no clue this conversation was going to go this way. But I'm really happy that it did. Oh really yeah, No, I asked the question like, hey, so I wasn't doing conferences and that's great, that's great, that's fine. I'm thrilled. I just wanted the viewer to understand. We didn't talk

She didn't even know I was going to be doing this today. I was supposed to be home. Yeah, and then it just turned out I ended up working late and I was like, hey, dude, I might stay after all. You want a film. You were like, yeah, it's pretty much exactly that's the best case scenario.

Yeah, that's pretty much exactly what happened. But back to the question, right, So I asked you, you know, why do you think it happened this way? But let me reiterate, why do you think that for the first time that the beings appeared to you, it was scary?

Why do you think I think It had to be that way, yeah, because it wouldn't have gotten my attention, and it wouldn't have made an everlasting mark that I remember sixteen years later the way that I do. If it wasn't traumatizing, it wouldn't have shifted my life the way that it did and change me as a human being. If it were something I'd forget about in a minute or two. If it were just a normal, everyday occurrence, we get a lot of comment forgotten, you know, or

Yeah, you were probably out doing stuff like that. That's in the backyard with a freaking BB gun.

That was the yep.

That was just a family culture. It was like hunting and fishing when I was little.

Instead of just saying games all the time, I would be hunting in the backyard just for fun, you know, I would be practicing. I'd be shooting my pellet rifle for every every birthday for the first fourteen years of my life. Papa Ted bought me a BB gun every year. I don't know if you remember that. But by the next year, by the next birthday, that last gun that he got me would be so worn out it would not even shoot, wouldn't hold air. I did that to

I always felt that way.

Yeah, I I didn't feel that way. I didn't have any remorse, but I do now. I don't know if it has something to do with the UFOs. I'm not claiming that. You know, there's a lot of people who believe it does have something to do with it, and maybe it does. I don't know, but I was, you know, I love to hunt. I love to shoot animals, you know, deer and bear. I loved it. I loved getting in that stand. I love shooting My thirty out six had a big old deer. I loved watching it hit the deer.

You know, you should be.

Out there just killing the little thing because you'll want to kill something. That's wrong. But if you need to eat, I don't think there's anything wrong with hunting to survive, right. You know, if you're praying for your food and you're honoring it and you're doing it that way, that's that's totally cool. Same with fishing. But just to get out there and kill stuff, just to do it, man, that's that's crazy. And that's the kind of person I was.

Is after the event, Yeah, after the original.

It's crazy. Yeah, it really is. It really is, because you know, I hunted in twenty twenty two. I think never I didn't kill anything, but I wanted to get back out there, like there's still part of me that wants to fill a freezer up. You know, there's still part of me that wants to do it like my I do with my grandpa, get in the stand, and you know, I want I want it. Sometimes I want to kill a deer. I haven't killed a deer, and you know, a long, long, long, long long time. I

So you obviously, I think that's great because you and I have never actually verbat him to discussed this, but it is in Dad's book and people, you know, it's not really elaborated on that much. It kind of is. But like our dad was obviously a big bear hunter. All the stuff that Chris was saying. You know, we were a family of hunters still are not not just us,

In our community, and.

It went from meaning something to you know, being mocked and revised. No, I know what you're trying to say.

That's how it was looked at. When I was sixteen or seventeen.

We were respected.

We were big time and then and then we were that was building one hundred houses a year and had over one hundred employees. Dad did well over one hundred employees. Papa Ted had twenty framing crews. Wow, and like two hundred men or something like that working for him. Our Papa Tad. That's how he was doing it. Bro, Papa Dickens, our grandfather, my mama's daddy. He was bad. I could be wrong. Three hundred houses a year, that's a lot.

Yeah, he built most of the houses Willington back in the day, and just everywhere a thousand homes in between. You know, it's just stops.

Really was the drug enforcement agents and all dude.

Special forces stuff. He build a lot of their facil.

Yeah, Dad was tight with all those guys.

At one point. And I know that. Look, I want to clarify that. To me, this stuff is I'm glad that all that.

Me too, is I'm so happy that because we would have not been on the path that the people that we are today coming from that.

Yeah, we're better We're way better off. We're way better off with nothing.

Then it's like the man the rich man, how does that saying go.

It's it's it's that it's easier. Let me think about it. It's easier to go through for a camel to pass through the eye of the needle, a rich man to get right. I was trying to connect the eye of the needle and the camel. But that's right, thank you.

But you know that stuff means nothing to me. It taught to what we've had to go through. And this goes back to the question of why do I think it happened to me? You know, it taught us valuable lessons that we wouldn't have learned if we were these spoiled rich kids.

Yeah, and everyone else around us is complaining about bull crap, and we're like, hello, I'm just trying to have a nice merry Christmas in your presence. I'm just trying to I'm just happy to see you, Like, why are we complaining about bull crap? You know, because of what we've been through, and that's you know, I say Christmas, I mean, in all scenarios. Yeah, I agree with you completely that when you go through these extreme losses, we've been reviled

Being helped, being joyful. Yeah.

Yeah, none of that extra shit matters.

I don't care the paintball gun, it really doesn't matter.

I mean, it's okay, it's a harmless hobby.

Yeah, it's good for you. But at the end of the day, all I'm saying is, you know, you don't have to have these things to be happy. You don't have to have these things to exist, you know, like the guns, the toys, the airplanes or whatever. It's not necessary, you know, we we're so used to doing without. I don't have to have anything to be happy. But it definitely helps, you know, it definitely helps, of course. Huh.

So I had asked, you know, basically, I just wanted to get your take because these are things that I've had my own opinions about, but I've never exactly asked you out loud, like why do you think they were scary at first? Or you know, why do you think this? Or why do you think that? And ironically, even though this is an exact conversation, we've never explicitly had, you know,

How come in the Bible, anytime they'd see an a or not every time, but there were times that they'd see an angel and it was scary. Right. How Come in the Bible angels were scary, be not afraid. How Come they had fiery eyes? How Come they rode in chariots of fire? Fiery ball, right, a fiery horse and carriage. That's how they knew. To explain it, they called it a chariot, which is a horse and buggy pretty much a fire. That's what the angels rode in, a chariot

Way we do now.

They would have called that thing a chariot of fire.

Yeah, or a wheel within a wheel something like that, yeah, or a pillar of cloud by day yep.

So we know all those things, but yet the church is telling us another thing. Who do we believe? Do I believe my own eyes and my heart and my mind? Or do I believe what the church is telling me? And then I remember that you should only believe. How's that saying? Go, h half that you see and nothing that you hear. And now how it goes something like that? I don't know that phrase. Yeah, you should believe nothing that you hear and half that you see.

That's the quote.

I don't know it. Yeah, interesting, pretty much.

It means you don't believe everything everybody tells you, and you don't believe in everything you see everything either, right, just because you see something, I mean, it's always exactly as it seems.

Yeah, it could be you could have a different angle. I understand what you're saying now. I didn't get it at first church. The preacher man, believe none of what you hear in half of what you see? Pretty much? Yes, almost exactly what he said.

Yeah, yeah, believe nothing that you hear and half of what you see. Well, I'm hearing the preacher man say that this is demonic. But I'm seeing this. I should believe half of what I see and nothing that I hear from him is the way I'm taking it. So maybe there's a little truth to what I'm seeing. But Batman don't know shit, right. You know, that's a good thing I think about these things.

Formula worked out there.

I've had twenty years to think about this stuff. Yeah, it's a lot going on up here.

I think it'll be nineteen years and.

Just a peace, love and judge thy neighbor.

Some Dad likes to say about church. No, and you know it's it's the crazy thing because like Dad named his book UFO God. Why do people anybody ever thought about why did he do that? Why do you say that name?

I don't know. Why don't you tell us?

I don't know. Probably because he's very boldly telling you, Hey, this has to do with God. Yeah, of course this has to do with God.

View right here.

Yeah, And obviously the viewer knows. But then there's people out there who, honestly, probably the biggest criticism that people have is they're like, this is evil, this is demonic. Yeah, you know, get that really, because we're praying out there and you know, there's things appearing and guess what if you did it would too. Everybody does it. We've done it in a crowd of a thousand people. Are you called up? Everybody in there?

Cadd Christians? Lots of them, lots of them. Maybe not the ones that go to the Pentecostal Holiness Church, but we get lots of dedicated Christians that are no different than any other Christian that pray right there with us and see them. It's happened Catholics too.

Yeah, well way more than that. You know, people that are Hindu, people that are Muslim, people that are Buddhist. It doesn't it's not just it's not just Christian, you know, And like my view has changed. And I think that I think that people get I don't. I don't think Jesus was like, you know, hey, it's it's let me figure out how to say this, because I think this is to get right. I don't think like the Church,

Yeah, you'll start finding more pieces of that twenty thousand piece puzzle.

Now, maybe there is some truth in Hinduism. Maybe there is some truth in them, from all of them. Yeah, And maybe that's kind of the point of God in the first place. Is it's just we're a bunch of you know, ignorant little human beings for the last five thousand years trying to explain what we think it is. It doesn't belong on those pages. It is its own thing.

Texts different interpretations.

Yeah, Like you know, people want to talk about, you know, I'm a Christian or I'm this or I'm of that. Great well step one, if you know, instead of blindly believing the thing, once you go look into like the context of this system's existence, start to understand how it formed, the movement that was created at the time it began, the historical impact, how it spread to other nations how it relates to other cultures. And I'm just as of late, Yeah,

That's that's kind of how.

I am as well in a way.

Yeah, I just I don't.

I don't really conform to everything the church tells me. I know that it doesn't matter. All that matters is that you because I like to think this. I don't know that it's true, but I think of consciousness. It's like this energy or like maybe in like a library that's floating around in the sky above us, right, and we're all linked together through this little consciousness thing, right, and then how like a cloud, like the cloud like WiFi, Yeah,

They hear it.

They know what we're thinking, because you know it's up there, we think it and our brains sending it out on some level.

Interesting, some people can.

Tap into it. They are able to open up like that little portal in their brain that receives that Wi Fi signal and you're able to suck it up and now you're psychic or you know, you had a precognitive thought. But where I was going with this though, is sometimes I like to think that God is in control of that and and we are all tied together through that.

God or yourself.

That's probably all a load of baloney, but it's not at all.

It's exactly and many others.

And where I was going with that, Where was I going with that? I had the very special little loop. I was gonna tie it all together.

It'll come back from the cloud.

Yeah, but uh oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it kind of reminds me of Mother Nature in a way. You know, how everything is tied together through Mother Nature, God, right, the plants and all. But that's why, that's how you make it to heaven. That's how you you know, that's part of how you make it to heaven. You recognize things like that, you don't treat people wrong, you do good, You have good in your heart, good intentions. You know, if you have good intentions, then you're probably not.

Gonna hurt anybody. It's all about intention.

And you know, I know, as long as you know those things and you know to be good to other people and you know how to act, you know, and you love God, you love the earth, you love the animals, the people. You know, you're you're one step closer to making it to heaven. You don't have to exactly follow the doctrines that the Pentecostal Church tells you. I don't have to cut to a certain length and avoid wearing you know, nose piercings and all to make it to heaven.

Like they would say, you know, agreed, I would take a step further. I would say that heaven is not a place that you go to when you die, but it's a constant state of mind that you should seek to achieve in life. And then if you achieve this in life, then you'll be immortal beyond death. See, people got it backwards from how we came our community and the majority of Christians in the world. It's like, you gotta be saved. What if you were to die, like right now or any time, you gotta be saved on

Definitely no, and we've seen that firsthand at the freaking cy Games.

Yeah, not the light body, but many other things. Very cool thing we've seen that.

We are more than what they teach us. What your church teaches you, and what the government in our school teaches you is taught to you purposefully to keep you controlled. I think I could be wrong about that, but what it seems because there's they're purposefully leaving stuff out.

And maybe they don't even know it themselves, but it is definitely happening.

Yeah, our government knows about it. That's why there's the Monroe Institute. They've been studying it for a long time, right, pretty much. And I know that they've been working with what they've worked with them before.

I'm sure.

Well, yeah, they've done like investigations into their program and worked with developing you know, siabilities for remobilers us. Yeah, of course.

You know they made the movie The Men Who's there at Goats when we were kids, Like, they were studying this stuff for long before us. Yeah, you know for sure the government knows all about it. They were not taught about it for what reason? Why Why are we not taught this stuff? Why are we not taught that you can, you know, precognitively know when your freaking wife is going to pull up in the driveway. It can happen.

You know.

Why aren't we taught that if you train your body enough, you can bend to a spoon with your mind. Well, if they taught everybody that, then it would be really easy to break out of prison, wouldn't it.

Or are a number of other things.

No, that's just example, but it would make sense to control us. They would want you to know things that make you powerful, right, you know, they make you almost superhuman. They don't want you to know that stuff. You have to seek it. You have to get lucky and find it right, faster egg.

You have to seek it. Yeah, that's why we have so many mythologies about like you know, the Holy Grail, the wishing stone, the Chintamani wishing stone from Buddhism. There's these mythologies, these legends about like finding this secret treasure. Those are all metaphors. It's about your soul coming here on the journey to discover this knowledge and become enlightened. That that's that quest for the Holy Grail exists inside

Right.

That's what the Gnostics were all about. That's what the word gnostic means, or the word nosis, it means knowledge. It means to be like illuminated to you know, when you when you read the Gnostic interpretation of salvation is not, hey, you gotta pray to me, You got to say you're hell, Mary's you gotta do X y Z and you won't

Whereas listening today, bro, maybe in another week or so I'll.

Be able to talk this stuff.

Yeah, I heard you. I heard it up seriously. But see, the Christian doctrine or many doctrines are like, well, actually it's the opposite. You die and then you go what Gospel of Truth it's in there? Yeah, it talks about it being a nightmare. Right, you want to elaborate read it. I'd love to hear it.

No, I don't have anything to elaborate. I'm just confirming you're correct.

Okay yea. Alex starts shaking his head at me and thumbs up, which means I got something correct. So I had to get to the bottom of it. But yeah, the modern theology is that you come here, you've got the life, and then if you die, if you mess up a few times here you burn a hell forever. But really I couldn't be farther from the truth that this is the hard place. Yeah, we are in the hard place.

That makes sense. Look at the world we live in.

Yeah, and it could be way worse. That's really good news. It honestly could be worse. There are a lot of things here to enjoy if you have the state of mind to you know, be a loving, joyful person.

It's insane to think that way, man, because it's true, because you could you could enjoy anything, or you could choose to be negative and spiteful and hateful and just be unhappy all the time. Some people choose to live like that. That's something Dad always said to me, is you can choose to be happy or you can choose

To be sad.

And and at first I was like that, you know, that's the dumbest shit I've ever heard of my life.

That's what I as a kid, I'm like, Yeah, Okay, thanks dad.

Yeah, that's how I would think. You know, I don't want to hear that shit. I wouldn't talk to him like that, but I don't want to hear that shit. I'd leave, but I never forgot it. And he's right. You literally can choose to be a spiteful, hateful, negative person that makes everybody unhappy and stresses every person out around them. You know, because when you're spiteful and negative, even though I know you're not being negative and spiteful

Does for you too.

And someone's just like slamming shit even though they're not focused to you, he's slamming something and he's cussing and mad because that speck on the wall isn't right, You're filling some level of stress. These negative, nasty people are running around freaking. They just can't enjoy life, and other people around them.

Can't enjoy life because they're around them.

Yeah, because they choose to be just negative and nasty. I really thought about that, and I choose to be happy, and I make that choice and I do and I am. It's so it's literally that simple it's a mind stay. It's you can be happy or sad.

Quite literally, it's the Philosopher's Stone. Yeah, it's why it's our symbol. The symbol is actually a rendition of the philosophers Stone. That's very intentional on my part. Huh, I said, I wanted it to be a triangle with a circle in the middle, but the triangle will be a pyramid. Symbolically, it's a yellow triangle, but it's the pyramids. That's why it's yellow. And the UFO if you notice it's a

And I know people that find a way it don't matter what you say or what's presented to them, they find a way to be negative about that thing, you know what I mean? I know, you know people like that just they cannot find happiness in anything. They don't matter what you give them. They can't even do a hobby right because they're so negative and nasty about everything. There's nothing they enjoy. They're living in hell, right, you know, and don't even know it.

There's a lot of people alive today living in hell. I'm not living in hell. I know this is a hard place, but there's life.

But you know, I can control that. I can still find happiness and other things. That's it's crazy to think about and see it the way that I see it.

I wish everybody could see it that way.

Me too, man, doing trying to convince people, you know, hey, there's more, the more of the world than you've been told and what you've seen.

Yeah, and what like the whole thought about negativity though, is it's crazy, man, There's so much more to just like that topic negativity. I really believe that you shouldn't be negative ever, you're I agree.

I think it should all be external any negativity you experience should be external, should not come from you, yes, and should not come from within your bees. It's okay to experience stress and.

You're not something I'm trying to even work on. And I'm pretty for the most part, I'm pretty positive most of the time. But I think that if everybody tried to live a little more positive and see things more positively, Like, just find some way to see something that you perceive as negative. Try to find a way to see it in a positive way. Whatever it is you're looking at or facing, find some way, I don't care how fucked up it is, find a way to make it seem positive.

I mean, I'd be happy to show you any time, but I think that those things really do help for energy sensitives. Yeah, one, one.

Three, But it was one one.

Yeah, exactly. The one was saying that when we were he was pointing that out to me. But no, no, I I completely agree, And I think it comes from being energy sensitive, being being very overstimulated from external energy. But the burden is on all of those of us who are truly connected to the spiritual, who truly understand the deeper meaning of what's really going on behind the scenes in the spirit world. It's more than just black and white you know what your church is teaching you.

Like that eclipse.

Yeah, and it's it's important to be aware of protecting yourself from like external negative energies. But anyway, we should.

All practice being positive.

I agree.

That's like the best advice to give anybody.

That's what Dad has told me more than anything. Be positive, be happy, be positive. Like I don't want to hear that right now.

Yeah, I mean either I never did, but now I find myself saying it all the time and live.

In that way and telling everybody else.

And telling everybody, telling Teddy, be positive, be happy. Don't ever ever say something that, especially about yourself, especially or another person say that to him all the time too. You don't ever.

Talk bad about yourself ever.

Yeah. I think it even says that in the Bible in some place metaphorically. Yeah, it does says if you curse a tree, it'll die. Yeah, but it says more than that too. Or if you tell a mountain to move, it'll move. Yeah. There is another thing. I'm probably wrong about it, but something about if you curse your left hand, cut it off or something.

Or no, it says if your left hand of fends you, cut it.

Off, okay.

In other words, if there's any sort of vices or things that are causing you trouble or things that you're doing that are wrong and you can't control it, remove it, get it out of your life.

Yeah. I always kind of interpreted that as you know, yeah, pretty much what you said. But like you know, if you're finding things something negative or there's bad stuff or negative things, you know, remove it, get theah, cut it out, get out it, get it.

Yeah, yeah, get it out of there.

Agreed. Walking down this path is not and it requires patience, It requires humility, It requires just constantly being you know, reminding oneself, be positive, be positive, be positive, reminding others be positive, be positive.

I want to know more about why do you Why do you think it is that, like I was saying earlier, and I feel bad that I said it that I liked killing as a kid I did. I did like to hunt, shoot and kill. You know, I liked hunting. I was feeling bad about that. But why do you think it is that we changed so drastically after seeing

My honest view is because I believe that it is a spiritual initiation that when you when you experience things that are extremely dramatic, especially things that are concerning, like you know, the spirit world, seeing interdimensional beings, things like that, it it has an effect on your soul that begins this awakening process where you become more intimately connected to

Minerals like just burning off.

Yes, it's these karmic lessons phoenic exactly exactly, that's the same exact metaphor.

Yeah, yeah, Huh.

It's the process of dying and being reborn. I could say it in a thousand ways. You're being born again, you know, like you're being baptized in fire. There's all these different mythologies.

I was baptized in water.

Yeah, last Sunday, I was in the pond and Dad's in Mom's backyard when I was fifteen. But yeah, anyway, Yeah, so that's that's why I think. That's why I think you've changed so dramatically, and it's it's because it's a very real spiritual process that is occurring on the level of your soul, huh, and everybody who experiences.

Yeah. At first I kind of wondered if it had only happened to Dad, But then at the same time, I'm like, no, it definitely happened to me too. I had to have yeah, because I like, I had to hunt. I wanted to, like that was what made me happy, you know, hunting, and I just don't have.

That anymore like that I used to.

It just doesn't exist. So it has to have happened to me as well. And there's other things too, like the hunt.

That I have changed. I would say, it's crazy.

I've always wondered, Yeah, it's cool to see what you think, and that totally makes sense. It's like in a spiritual awakening. Well, it was important to you before just doesn't matter the same anymore, not at all. You see the world just so differently. Huh.

You start to see a lot of that old stuff didn't matter and if anything was making your life harder, making it worse.

Yeap, money doesn't matter. Stuff doesn't matter to me.

To me, going broke as a kid wasn't the worst trauma. Oh, I'm sure I still have my team. Yeah, I mean, that wasn't No. I mean, it was horrible and had to move around town and all that, and nobody should

If it was hard for me, and I could being an adult, I could get up and leave. I can't imagine what it was like for y'all being little kids that had to stay at home no matter what.

Don't ever talk about that, Yes, sir, I'm sorry. You know, I'm a child. What am I gonna do? Try to tell you you're wrong? Sorry, what'll happened again? And then I'm like sitting there, you know, thinking about it and thinking about it. Oh my god, they just shut me up, you know what I mean.

And then now here you are, I wonder what that person thinks.

Now, Oh dude, I've heard all kinds of things you tell me. I mean, I don't know if it's the thinking I don't want to talk about people on the show, Yeah, I mean it does.

Don't have to say any names, but it might help the viewer give them a little context, like they want to hear stuff.

I think there are people in our family who think it's like absolutely crazy that I do this, and that I'm just out here talking about evil stuff.

All the time and you're going to Hell.

I mean, that's probably the conclusion. Yet, Yeah, I think I'm just like talking about demonic things. Couldn't be further from the truth. I think I did one episode about hell and light and right, helping people, you know, connect to God. That's kind of the main thing. Helping people figure out how to go outside and have this real connection with the spirit world and like see these angelic beings. I mean, there's been a lot of a lot of

Mean, do you do you see what I'm trying to say, Though I do, I kind of feel bad for them. Yeah, we have this special knowledge that I was lucky enough to see and know that most people don't get to actually know their whole life. I don't have to hunt and search and look for UFOs or spiritual beings or what.

I don't have to hunt and wonder.

Right, most people will wonder their whole life and search and they may die never actually knowing.

I don't have to think that way.

I just always know, and it's just just crazy. Some of our some of our people, you know, they live by the by the code and they believe it.

And they're not right.

That's crazy to me too, man, Like, I don't think people quite get that. I've had so many videos sent to me over the last I don't know how many years, you know, many years, and people be like, have you seen this congressional hearing? Have you seen this UFO thing? Have you seen this UFO thing? And I'm like, what do you guys think? I'm just sitting around looking at UFOs all the time, Like now, walking outside, I'm seeing them. Yeah, I don't care watch this crap.

I don't need to too.

Yeah, I get.

It's like when I went to the contact in the desert, dude, and I'm meet and you know, a lot of them are really nice people and I'm not going to say any names, but there were some like really big UFO celebrities there. I'm meeting these people and shaking hands with them and I've never seen their faces before. I don't know anything about them. I don't know what they do. And they're like the top names. Some of the guys.

Yeah, I never needed to.

I saw, I saw it. I know. I'm not gonna waste my time reading about this freaking reptile. I didn't see a reptile. I'm not gonna waste my time reading on his damn gradies or watching videos. And I'd rather watch about a paintball gun. I don't know enough about that.

Yeah, and see, I'm like, I know enough text. I'm looking in other areas. I don't need to go look at all that stuff, you know what. I'm trying to find different, different, you know, hidden things.

I'm mechanically minded talking about this today, I'm like, you know, very hands on with the things I do. Ryan's the book worm. He's the he's more books smart and that he can. I always thought it was so cool when I was younger you could read a book and you could remember it word for word, the whole frickin' book. You were like that when you were a kid, you could you could spout almost word for word the whole day. You could read a paragraph and tell me word for word where the paragraph said.

I can't do that.

It took me to like fifth grade to learn how to do that, to learn how to read a paragraph and remember it. You know, I have a different type of learning, different skill set, kinesthetic.

Yeah, I'm ashamed to say I haven't read a book probably in years. Yeah. There was a time where I was like reading books.

All the time in a day. Yeah.

I was a kid.

I was always reading and reading and reading and reading. But now all my reading is uh, you know, for information. Sure, not really reading books as much as I used to.

I'm reading better really. Yeah.

I'm like, I'm taking that skill set and applying it to different things.

But because you're reaching people with it.

Yeah, thank you for saying that, man, And I don't I don't think you should be hard on yourself either, like everybody. You know, some people think tube of, some people play clarinet, like supporters.

What do you mean?

Thank you for saying that. That's all much that almost hurts my feelings. You should know that I respect everything you do and love what you do. Yeah, you should never have to say thank you for that. I'm your biggest supporter.

Well what am I supposed to do when you compliment me and be like, yeah, you should have said that's right. I'm gonna say thank that ship, bro, because you're the man, You're.

The bomb dude on it.

Well, I'm glad that it makes you feel good.

Trying to be humble. Man, I know, well, would you look at that? I had no clue. We're out of time here, so we're going to close out now.

But I hope that I wasn't too weird and spouting off you.

Know, awesome?

It was it?

Oh, it was incredible.

Great.

I'm glad to hear that because I'm starting to regret it.

No, there was a lot of wisdom. Do you say that every time?

Yeah?

I do.

And also for the first I'm regretting.

Because I spoke a lot about religion, and I've spoke about family, and when I do speak on religion, it bothers me for weeks after I think about it, and I wonder if I said the right thing. And I don't want to mess anybody's religion up or the way they believe and put them through the you know, the shock that I went through. I don't want to be the cause of that for anybody. So I think about that afterwards, and.

I understand what you're saying. Yeah, but know that anything that you're saying in that moment is not something that has not been said on this show already.

And I don't want to be seen as a heretic.

Well you you know you already are. It's funny because we were talking about that this morning. Yeah, but just understand, I understand that.

You feel that way.

Not a freaking heretic.

I have felt that way for many years doing this show. I have felt that I I hit a certain point where I began to feel guilty, like I don't want to destroy anyone's belief system and I still don't. But I think as long as it's said with the right intention and with love, there's nothing wrong with just saying the truth.

And I feel at very least everything I've said is how I've thought.

Or fell over the years is not the gospel.

Well it's the truth.

Yeah, it's the truth.

This stuff all really happened.

Yeah, what's the way I've felt and thought and the things I've experienced. Yeah, I just wanted to clarify. You know, nobody has to believe me. Nobody has to you know, take my word for the gospel, right, you know this is just my thoughts.

Yeah, well let's send it there.

Man.

I think that's a good natural point and terrific my guys, Bye bye. Weird things happen in the backyard and let some house the garden to let the houses just so weird, weird aware.

Wow,