164: The Bledsoe Family - Emily Bledsoe Holloway Vol. 4, Pt. 2

The weird thing happened in.

Weird weird Okay.

So the day after the eclipse, I was here working on the house and Dad was like, son, I had a dream last night and it was so vivid. I

I was like, whoa damn okay, And.

Ever since Dad's been like, we're we shifted. It was the eclipse. We're in the age of Aquarius. So I've been like, yes, sir, like you know, i'd take his dreams seriously. But yeah, Emily didn't know that. It's it's just kind of hard for us to communicate all the time when Dad lives in Fayetteville and then we live here in Wilmington, and then Emily lives in Florida and Jeremy lives in Greenville, so yeah, and obviously Junior's at Fayeville. But yeah, Emily just heard that last night.

I heard that last night because we were watching Labyrinth Labyrinth, which is one of my fairy favorite movies of all time. Ryan would never watch it with me growing up.

I just saw it for the first time like this year. Would you think it was awesome?

It was wild?

That was really cool because well, remember we watched Never Any Story for the first time like last year or the year before something like that, and I fell in love with da Yeah, and Labyrinth seemed like a similar.

I've got a whole list of like those kinds of movies that have been like recommended to me, like Legend, h Dragon Slayer, a.

Few like dark fantasy movies.

Yeah, The Sword and the Sorcerer.

Oh, my, Labyrinth, Labyrinth. I've seen it more times than I could ever try to count. It was one of my comfort movies when all the UFO stuff was happening. I watched it like every day.

There was like a fifty to fifty chance that I could hear Labyrinth coming out of your bedroom. No, that's like not an exaggerate. Always it was either Ocarina of Time Sounds or Labyrinth or Yeah or Halo. Yeah that's funny.

Yes, no, you ever played Labyrinth so much? I know all the words. But Ryan finally watched it.

With me, and uh, I told you the dream?

You told me the dream, and I was like, wait what I had? I've been, you know, for the past few weeks, I've been trying to figure out like what does that mean? That that out of body that happened to me? What does that mean? And now I'm like, Okay, it's coming together because I don't remember and I can't find it. I can't find it, but I'll just say this particular part. So I'm in it looks like space, right,

Oh oh yeah, yeah, like just an old skill.

Like a tron grid. But I'm in space and I'm on just this platform, and I'm looking at myself and I'm just looking up and then I kind of swivel around and see myself and in front of me that I'm looking at is a massive sun that had just risen above the platform and it was right in my face, and I just said and it resounded around me, but it was like I said it, but also everything around

This happened during creation station.

Yeah, oh, and this isn't this isn't the point of creation station. When we go back to the debrief, I was like, yeah, mine was good. I didn't know what to say, so I've just been kind of resonating on or marinating on that. But I was like, I am a daughter of the Sun. And then Dad's dream with the new sun rising.

Yeah, do you ever see that meme of like I think it's like Matthew McConaughey when he's like smoking a cigarette, he looks really stressed out. He's like a thousand years stare. Yeah, that's how I was at the first debrief. I mean, after I left my body for the first time.

It was really cool.

Oh yeah, it's kind of crazy. Yeah, so that's casual.

You just found out about the dream last night? Yeah, wow wow.

And something about the platform at the end of Labyrinth. It doesn't look like that, but something about that felt which synchronistic at the end where she's like you have no.

Power all right and they're kind of like in space.

Yeah, it just felt the vibe.

That was a wild movie. Yeah, it was cool.

Yeah.

Didn't they recently like remake it or make some new game or something.

I think that was Like, is the original.

One called Labyrinth Dark Crystal or those two different things?

Two different movies. Okay, Dark Crystal is another one I've never seen that we're supposed to watch.

I've seen it.

I thought it'd be cool.

I had the idea last night, like what if we love to do like a dark fantasy episode.

Yeah sick.

You know, like we've done a cosmic horror, we could do like a dark fantasy episode.

Yeah, I'd love that. I haven't seen enough dark fantasy movies.

Though, so see that's that's the objective homework. Yeah, you gotta watch more dark fantasy movies. Yeah, only dude, I mean, can you what Eldon Ring consumed so much in mediums.

Can you give me, like an example of a movie that I may have seen that would fall into that, that you may have seen.

That's a stretch, is of the rings dark fantasy, fantasy fantasy? But he hasn't seen them.

I know I've seen a little bit of them, can't I will give you that.

I don't know, man, because dark fantasy was like really really popular in the eighties, and I feel like.

Dark fantasy is specifically the eighties movies with the practical effects and the puppets.

And just the vibe.

Yeah, like Cauldron. Did you watch Never Ending Story when we did? Okay, that would that's definitely dark fantasy for sure.

The Dark Crystal obviously, which I have yet to see.

Yeah, I haven't seen.

Legend is supposed to be. Oh there's another one.

Yeah, Willow, never seen it. They're all good Willow.

I've been saying that for years. Y'all watched Willow.

I love Willow.

Yeah it's a lucasfilm.

Yeah, I know that.

Yeah, And apparently Labyrinth was and Dark Crystal.

Labyrinth is probably the silliest of all of those.

It is very silly, yeah, but but it was dark though. Yeah, it had its moments.

There was There was at one point when she fell down into this horrific hell hole and was in this like bacchanalia party where they all had these like Rothschild style masks and they were all just like taunting her.

It was.

It had some very dark, like subtle undertones, you know.

Yeah, I loved it.

No, it was.

We had a good time anyway. I don't think you've seen a dark fantasy, Alex, but.

It's a very it's it's sick. I would say it's a niche kind of Oh yeah, very hyper specific genre berserk. Probably, it's definitely a dark fantasy. I got dark fantasy anime.

Yeah, it's like the dark fantasy anime.

Yeah, I would, I would say, so new obsession much what dark fantasy? Oh okay, yes, I was just letting you know. Thanks, I'm out of the Kaiju phase for the moment. Now now I'm on dark fantasy. Okay, Hey, I don't sorry, No, you're good. You just take the wheel.

I was.

Trying to remember what I was gonna say, but I I wanted to add something about synchronicities with uh the Arthur stuff. I haven't actually gotten yet to listen to y'all Arthur episode. But I was listening to Merlin and uh so, okay, Bletsoe Castle, y'all talked about that a little bit, right, Oh this is weird. Did y'all talk about that yet?

Not?

I didn't think so why I wanted to bring it up? Okay? So Ryan was talking about how King Henry the seventh of England, the first Tutor King, was famously known for trying to trace his roots back to King Arthur. Well, King Henry the seventh, mother Lady Margaret was born, Yes, Beaufort was born at Bloodsoe Castle. That's her family. Wowy, And we have connection to Blotsoe Castle. You can't say one hundred.

Well, the first guy that came to America from England, the first Bloodsoe in America, he was the owner of.

And that's from our roots is Bledsoe. It's with a t Bledsoe. And I thought about this the other day because Dad sent me a thing that Bloodsoe Castle was for sale, and I I was panicking, like, oh my gosh, how am I going to acquire my ancestral home? Millions and three point two million pounds.

Each?

More than that, there's thirteen million dollar houses. I know, like, yeah, one house, fourth third. We should talk to some of our friends and see if they'll help me on the bridge loan.

What is million pounds?

Literally six million dollars? ISHU, but this is literally it's just outside my budget.

A castle built in the thirteen hundreds, I've got it pulled up and listen, listen to this. This is another parallel. So, King Henry the seventh was really into King Arthur. We're Bledsoe. His mom was born at Bletsoe Castle. Her dad was the duke that owned Bletsoe Castle. She was very famous. I'm very into Tudor history. I love history. I have, yes, yes, I have so many books and watch all the shows and movies about like royalty and especially like the Tudor

Yeah, it's like her faith in her son or her faith in God.

She was like very devout Catholic. This is before Protestantism, because King Henry the Eighth is the one who brought Protestantism. I didn't mean go.

Ahead, oh no no. So it's like like she obviously had faith that her son was like meant to be the king, yeah, and she had faith that God would fulfill that, and.

It was like that he was like a baby.

Yeah. Yeah, it's like that undying faith kind of thing.

Yeah, which is really cool. And then I had a synchronous city pop up, and I kept wondering, like, why is this bloodsoe Castle stuff popping up? It feels like it's related somehow to my Monroe stuff. I don't know why yet, but it just felt relevant. And so then I kept getting this thing pop up, and I was like, what is this. There's this castle in Slovenia called bled.

Castle, bled bledled Blood Island, right, Well, there's a town called Blood in Slovenia, and there's.

A castle called Blood Castle overlooking the lake, and in the center of the lake is the Church of Blood, which is the ascension of Mary Church, which is like about the Mother And a lot of bledsoes come from Blood Castle too in Slovenia. And so I'm like, what's going on? And if you look at pictures of Blood Castle.

It looks like what I saw.

It looks like what he saw when he was at Monroe.

Yeah, because I didn't really talk about this on our Monroe episodes, there's a lot in here I didn't want to talk about. But I'm gonna I'm gonna try to find this. But at one point, when I was out of body eyes, I had to ask my higher self like where did this begin for me? And I saw myself on a castle over the water, and the word popped into my mind Merlin's Tower, and I was like, maybe this.

I don't know what the fuck this means, but it looked exactly like the castle over the water.

Literally, I want to see can you pull it up, Alex, I want to see what it looks like.

But it's so beautiful. It looks like a fairy tale. Blood is just this castle. It's now a museum. It was built in the eleven hundreds or the like one thousand, and it's overlooking the gorgeous lake with the Ascension of Mary Church in the middle. And so I'm like, okay, yeah.

The church is beautiful too.

Sometimes Ascension of Mary Church. I need to know more of it.

I think that's what can you look up if that's exactly what it's called, But it's something like not ascension of Mary the I'm sorry, what is it? It'll come to me, But.

That's crazy. The ascension of Mary thing obviously makes me think of like the Da Vinci Code, you know, you know how.

That Jack is reading right now?

Oh really, yes, Assumption of Mary, assumption, assumption of Maria Church.

Yes, sorry, Maria Church.

The tickets are only thirteen dollars and nineteen cents. Oh I found it Field trip, Yeah, for forty two sixty bled Slovenia.

Well, what I've seen too is that people that came, I'm might be totally wrong. People came from there and went to England, and then a lot of the Bloodsoe's have come to me.

I found the so Actually the owner of the castle in the sixteen hundreds was William Bledsoe, and then George Bledsoe, the first ever one to come to America, and where we all descend from, is believed to be either the son or the nephew of William Bledsoe. Just to be clear, blood Castle or Blodsok, yeah, which.

One in England? And blood to Tea.

But I found my thing in the in the Monorda experience I had. This was a I believe it was a Focus fifteen and it was just an exercise.

Oh.

I set the intention to visit my wife because I asked Ignacio. They were like, you can go out of body and it's a free flow. You can go where you want to go.

Maybe setting attention to see somebody and see what they're doing.

So I was like, in Nasio, what do I do? He's like, go check on your wife. I was like okay, and I had the intention to check on her. I did see her. I saw her painting in the bathroom, which I knew she was going to be. But I saw her painting in there, and I saw her like painting up on the ceiling by the shower.

And she did.

But then a part of me is like, well, I knew she was going to be in there, so maybe I was just imagining it. I tried not to think too hard about that, but I felt tingles in my body, as if I was actually rising and falling. I said, I set an attention to see my wife, but instead I went through a portal into a nonsensical world that looked like abstract cartoons. Oh, this was focus twelve. The first time I left my body and then I kept it showed me that, you know, just by staying on

The Blood Castle yeah. Wow, yeah, no, I'm just trying to figure out how we can purchase I don't know if it's been purchased, but we can so castle. It has a moat.

We don't have good enough.

It has a moat, it has a tennis court, it's got beautiful equestrian sports, horseback riding.

It was renovated in the sixteen hundreds.

It's a beautiful thirty minute train ride to London.

Wow.

Yeah, I saw it must have been price reduced. I saw two point seven million.

Oh, we're we're getting it.

Get it.

The coziest castle you'll ever find, with paddock, ancient moats, tennis courts, and a billiard room. Listen, if I had infinite money, I would buy it, would actually buy it.

I would buy it. I had that I would live there. Yeah, it's it's like technically a castle, but it just looks like a really big cottage.

It's like a manner.

I want to show me that one technically a castle?

Yeah, dude, I mean whatever, you have to pay the people to mow the grass like this, just get.

A get a couple of them.

That's a lot of grass.

Get a horse drawn mower. Yeah, that's true.

That takes all day to cut that grass. Just get my brother to do.

Have you guys seen the like robot mowers now, yes, they're pretty cool.

Yeah.

I was driving down the road the other day Carolina Beach or you know, weeks ago, and I saw this little robot just cutting the grass on the highway.

What the hell?

They have them where they're like they're like roombas where they know themselves. But they also make remote control ones. Oh that's you just sit on your porch.

That's cool, But I feel like I'd rather be driving the thing, you know, like at least I'm like pretending to play Mario Karts.

Have you seen the guys who have the podcast where they play in a sandbox with uh with remote control like excavators and thumb trucks.

No, I would actually.

Probably enjoy watching that for a little bit, dude.

Kind of a little bit.

No, they just kind of not along out, but and it's funny. They're they're objective is to use the excavator. They have a little pond that's full of ice and beers, and they pick him up with the excavator, put them in the truck and then drive them to each other.

Wheels and excavators. Don't know what it's called wheels and excavators, but.

I keep seeing it, so yeah, I kind of Well, the point is I want one of those remote control excavators.

Yeah, maybe your birthday is soon, so don't go getting any ideas.

You're either going to get a remote control excavator or you're going to get a castle in England.

Dude, you know what else?

I want?

Just to make this about me, I want, I want the the flute that is tuned to like four hundred and thirty two herds that it's not his brother, I don't think, but yeah it's no, it's not man. They mock him, but like he's right. Oh yeah, no I want. I looked him up.

I found the website you tuning a guitar or some drum.

See, I just have problems playing instruments. But then I find one. Yeah, I have a single bowl. The dog freaks out. Really, it's the demons in her. It's purging.

She's a liking throat, dude, them just fighting word son.

Yeah, don't talk about Juno about my daughter.

She's an angel, will be hitting on liking thropes.

She's a precious little angel. She's not a liking throat and she's not possessed by devils, dude, she's chill. Yeah.

I want one of those flutes. I want to do the same thing. I want to go up on my balcony at night and play it and have it echo through the marina and people be like, where is that coming from.

I'm hypnotized.

It'll heal the fish. Yeah, it'll make the sharks happen. It'll be like less aggressive. Yeah, because there's sharks out in his backyard there.

Are you ever see them? Yeah? My neighbor caught one. What kind of sharks?

Like a five foot Atlantic? I think atlantic sharp nose, like the ones from streets, A sharp teeth. No, their teeth are pretty I've caught one, but it was like two feet out there, right out in front of my house.

Really, m m. Do you do you still go fishing out there?

Yeah?

Sometimes I'm trying to do that.

I really would like if like the three of us would get together and like go out on the boat sometime, just like before summer ends, you know, before we lose track of it and it's too late. Don't worry, man, because we're about to be in local summer. Dude, I have not had a summer. I've been working on house and then traveling for a month, and I've been in America for two weeks now, and I'm like, I literally have not had a summer. I haven't swim, I haven't None of us are about to.

Be in local summer. It's Nick's first local summer.

And it's been a great first summer.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've done it. I've done a lot of beaching. I've done a lot of swimming. A lot I haven't. It's been that's the light.

It's not fair when you wait all year to be able to swim and then you're like so busy you don't get the chance to it. It's like I have to wait another year.

I need.

I tried to swim yesterday or want to.

That's true.

Suit, you're three hundred dollars away from swimming all year, that's true. You know, my birthday did just pass. That's one of those, you know, personal purchases. I think you have to make sure it's right. Yeah, well, why don't you go get your own fucking excavator. Oh my god, all right, let's get back on track.

Alan, Oh, just right through the whole that got me Okay, I was in teached.

I think the funniest part was I could see it. I don't watch when I listen, I just listen. I could see the look on Christini's face.

The smirk.

It's the smirk, this thing he goes, we love you Alan, he does.

That's smirk.

Every time I ta Alex for whatever reason in the discord, Like if someone makes a comment and like, you know, I want one of y'all to see it or something. Sometimes I'll tag Yellen that comment if it relates to y'all. And there's been two or three times now that I'll tag Alex or not. Like I'll say the word Alex and I'll get corrected by the people in the discord. I have not once since that episode been able to reference Alex or comment his name without being corrected.

To say, and just.

For a message to the people in our discord and in our comments, don't stop.

Yeah, I've been on a YouTube episode recently. I get scared every time I go in there. Now, where the discord? Are they making you uncomfortable? No, I just know it's coming.

Yeah, you need to just embrace it.

Hey, but Alex Dair's out and well. Turning of the time Alan is a little bit softer. Well, see that's the problem.

I don't like it. Would you rather be Alex Stir or Alan.

Probably Alex Stair? Oh okay, Oh, all of a sudden, you're cool with it. Yeah, you know, it's just giving a choice because I just think. I think about Michael Sarah in the Barbie movie and I'm like, I don't want to be.

That, oh with his character's name Alice.

Well, I mean what about like you know it? And I bet you no one thought about it until I brought it up to No, I did think about it.

Okay, now I'm thinking about it more like I'm confirmed now whatever.

Whatever I've been called worse, we love you, Alan, I love me too. You've also been called much better.

Yeah. I've been called a lot.

Yeah, I've ever been called late for dinner. Many are called, but few are chosen.

Though I get here?

Where we go?

How did we don't know?

We started talking about let's of castle on this.

I've been trying to figure out something to share from my book here and it is nonsense. Well it's all nonsense.

Let's let's give it a shot.

Okay, are you sure? Listen? Okay? A river vast and strong, from source, all flowing in my favor, glowing different perspective platform. I am a daughter of the sun, Creation coming to me, friends with the bird and animals and a whales clow the forest, the watch the joy.

That's literally sound like poetry. Yeah, it really did.

Oh my God, Like literally, I don't know what to pick out of here.

That's what it's all like, the watch the Joy.

There is no greater act than remembering and becoming aware of who you really are.

Oh but here's the thing. I bet you reading this stuff back, you remember.

The feeling of it.

Yes, so it only makes sense to you.

The bird, the whales, glowing, being the forest, to watch the joy.

When you wake up at the morning dream down.

Yeah, well what I love is from source, all flowing in my favor, glowing different perspectives.

The problem, too, is like a lot of the stuff that you're experiencing is visual. You know, you're seeing things. You might be seeing symbolism or seeing flashes of memories, images, whatever. So then when you write it out it can be like to someone else reading it, it's like.

It's like it's like trying to describe to somebody what being on mushrooms is like or DMP or acid or something like that, or.

A movie that you saw that's literally this visual experience. Yeah, it's hard to translate.

But the stuff that happens even in like these like deeply meditating, it's like, okay, imagine getting into a super deep level of meditation or even out of body or whatever, and trying to describe that to somebody, Yeah, is like phishing for the words. Right. It's a deeply personal thing, right, Like it's hard to convey that stuff.

Yeah, it's so personal. And it's like you at some point you're aware of your body, but you're not in it, and you can feel it, but you're not in it somehow, and then and then you're like, okay, well i'm gonna quit paying attention to you now. And then you're experiencing all this stuff and then something jolts you and your body shifts and you're like, okay, I'm back in it. I'm back here. And that's something that happened to me that I kind of shared. I was like, my knees,

Think in the group too, but the creation station.

Yeah, OK, to maybe one or two other people something like that, But that's not like the intention there, So that was a byproduct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I will say like this in particular my overall experience, like I had a lot of visual stuff, a lot of that kind of stuff, but the main takeaway for me was the perspective shift. And that could literally mean It could mean different things, but it could literally mean like I said, when I was like on that platform, I wasn't just

Perspective, collective consciousness, like it's all connected, like you could you could in theory view it from any perspective because like you are everything.

I had moments like sat at the Gateway experience where I was like seeing orbs from the perspective of being the orb right, you know, right. I would see myself sometimes like from behind me or above me, not like live like I'm walking around, Oh, like that's a raven.

But I mean like in meditations, you know.

But there were a few times like, uh, it was about the fourth day in and by that point, you know, you're just so I guess I could say like ungrounded, because you've been leaving your body a few times and all these other exercises. I was laying down to go to bed one night, and I was like just laying there, and all of a sudden, I was in the cafeteria, like I just I felt like I was in the cafeteria and I had what I felt like was a cup of coffee in my hand, and I was just in line, like trying.

To get my food.

And I was like, wait a minute, I haven't gone to bed yet. And I kind of snapped back and I was still laying in bed, and I was like, what the fuck. And then the next day I got up at seven am. I let the because they play speakers or they have speakers in the wall and they play frequencies overnight at the institute for you to like have a deeper sleep. And then I think at like six thirty sharp every morning, Bob Monroe's voice comes on and it's like it's a great day. It's a beautiful day.

It gives you a little morning waking up. Yeah, it's a great day, so get up and go.

And it's like just this really little wholesome like you know, take in all the gratitude of what you have to do before you. It's like this little morning exercise. But I skipped it most days because you know how I am a sleep But on like the last day, I wanted to wake up as early as I could. Well, you have the option, they tell you upfront. It's like if you if you don't want it to wake you up six thirty, you can turn off the speakers so it's not you know, blasting at six thirtye. So I

Wow.

If that adds any acted for what you were saying.

Yeah, I feel like, Well, there was this one time that when I this was when I was at Monroe with the frequencies at night, I thought I was in a sleep all night and I didn't sleep the entire night. And I was like, what happened to me? Oh, you thought you did, But there's mind awake body of sleep, which is one of the states you can go into, which is where your body's asleep, but your mind is awake. And that was me the entire night. And I was like, why can't I sleep?

Oh my god?

But I was just awake the whole time.

Oh whoa, but I slept. That's trippy.

It was very I was a little scared.

So do you wake up feeling rested?

I was rested.

Yeah, that's cool. I remember what I was saying.

I know it's been a few months, but like we would be staying up till three am many nights, Chris Ramsey doing magic and you know, Hannah and Marco and Amy and Hakem and countless others. Brad, we would be hanging out and just like chopping it up till three am and then go to bed, and we'd be like groggy as fuck in the morning, eight am, breakfast, We go to class at like nine, stumble into our room. We'd meditate for an hour, and by ten o'clock we're all like, I feel great, you know. And we'd be

Yeah. And I've had a little tiny bit of experience with like restfulness and Theta wave, like you know with the Shumann resonance.

Yeah, they have it's a similar frequency.

They have those they have like specific ones that are geared towards specific outcomes or whatever. And one of them is like one of them is it's called like restfulness or it basically it makes it to where you don't need as much sleep, like you get more rest required. That's what it is.

Yeah, yeah, that's exactly down.

They took those down off Spotify and Apple Music. Really yeah, I found they were like from my library, that specific album.

That specific one that I used voice.

Yeah, they removed it.

Reduces sleep required.

But that's the one I used with me too.

But if you guys might enjoy hearing this. But when we do Creation Station, we're going to be using Focus ten and Focused twelve.

Oh so we're getting thrown in.

Well that's the Focus ten is the first one to pression.

Ok.

Yeah, it's it's it's progressive.

It is, it's progressive. But again, like Creation Station is unique because it has nothing to do with trying to explore like leaving the body. It's specifically focused about creativity.

And one of the.

Things that I learned about these different focus states is like you.

Can't think about it like.

Oh, this is Focused thirty two, so it's more powerful. That's not the point. The point is they function.

They have different.

Functions, and something that the institute teaches is like or at least you know, the instructors that I was with there is that focus twelve is the most productive frequency, and it's because it's expanded awareness. So it gets you to that state of expanding awareness where you're thinking about things with a more divergent style of thinking.

I use that every day to work when I'm working, just like throughout my day.

Yeah, you can go on twelve, right, that was Yeah, intro to out of Body.

Was focused twelve.

I do that while I'm working.

You absolutely can. But focus twelve is amazing. You're gonna love it.

It's it's like focus ten is again. You know this is just true probably across multiple mineral programs. But focus ten is I imagine that's there to introduce you to the sensation of being in this deep meditative state, you know, and experiencing it multiple times so that you, the participant will say, Okay, I understand what this feels like. I actually understand what it means to be in this state because I've done it a few times now. It's not

Now, it'll affect different.

They're just because of the hormones in our body and the time of day. You might be a little more sensitive right now than I am, and vice versa across any day. It's the same with this you know stuff. It just depends on the situation and and and you and everybody is sensitive to this stuff in their own way, right And I'll.

Say another one of my big takeaways with this one because I didn't have like any crazy visuals on all of them, and that's not always the intention of times. Point. The point isn't that you have to have a crazy astral Disney World experience. No, right, that's never the like you have to do that.

The point is you can, you.

Can, you can, but that doesn't make your experience less important if you don't. And so one of my favorite things about this one for me was really tuning in to signals in my body, right, like signals coming through things that for many years we've been kind of nodding

That's really profound. I feel like I have a lot of like body anxiety when I get weird.

Feelings wisdom and if you want to get really into it, like I have a lot of thoughts about this. I can't say for sure, but it's just a conversation to bring up that I think your body literally is like

Happens, yeah, yeah all the time.

Or like, oh, why is my tooth hurting? And you go to the doctor and you find out something that's not to do with the tooth, but because you went at that time, you caught cancer or something. You know what I'm saying, Like, I don't, I just made that up. But there's so.

Much wisdom and the signs mean something.

The signs all of it means something and it's all connected.

I found this in my.

Journal on the first day of doing the exercises, I wrote, felt a strong vibration in my right foot.

Oh we're twins.

But it wasn't painful mind vibration. I didn't have any painful sensations. But yeah, multiple points throughout the week we would we would all be experiencing like, uh, that's something Chris Ramsey said as he kept feeling buzzing. I think it was in his hands or in his feet. Like the entire week, we all felt like pulsing in our like foreheads. And that's That's something that's really cool about it is it will make you aware of your body differently.

So that's cool.

Well, we're electrical beings. Yeah, you know, your whole body is run by electricity, and so all of these impulses mean something, and so learning to tap into that can have a a lot of benefit.

Yeah, certainly lots. And so is that like okay, So it sounds like these focuses and stuff that you learn, like you you kind of try to teach yourself how to recall that stuff, like you know, after you're out of the experience.

Like the physical impulses. You mean to recall that later? Is that what you're saying?

Yeah, Like, like, I'm curious because you mentioned on the big you know, the three part series that we did, that you learn these focuses and then you can recall them later. You can later quickly get yourself into those focuses. Is that based off of like physical cues, like you remember the physical feeling or.

What It's a mixture of both.

It could be.

Okay, I'll tell you what, Like this is gonna sound weird, but I know that I'm in focus twelve or above when I'm meditating, and you know, naturally you want to do it with your eyes closed. And I'm sitting there, I'm going through the process. I'm basically saying the affirmation and doing the energy reball and the what's the box called the energy conversion box, and I'm going through all

And then when I.

Open my eyes, everything around me is like distorted and.

Really zoomed in, well zoomed out. Well yeah, it's kind of like.

Yeah, like you can feel yourself even though your eyes are closed. You can feel yourself getting heavier and kind of like farther away and less focused on everything out here. And then it's like, Okay, open your eyes and it's like whoa, and it's like everything is blurry and it's it's just there's certain things that you notice about how you feel and how your mind is feeling and how your body is feeling.

You just you know that you're there.

And I'm just talking strictly like if you're like out somewhere doing it without frequencies, like on your own, with your own mind.

Sure, you know I think that.

You feel different, Well, yeah, you feel different.

And I think that I have traditionally been doing this without realizing it, and it's kind of given me a lot of struggles, like kind of having this altered state where when I'm around people, I struggle to talk to them because I'm not here.

I can definitely relate to that, like it.

Really zoomed out and I'm like not here totally. You could say it's dissociation, but I also do think that there's a difference between that because I can totally identify that because I've been there. But also there's like sort of the expanded consciousness state where it's like I'm just hyper present and hyper aware, but not in like a scary or anxious way. It's just like I am observing from a different part of myself. Okay, does that make sense?

Yeah, it does.

It's like a bird's eye view, That's how you can tell that. And I'm just kind of like it's like everything is slow and I'm just able to observe, and then people talking to me. It takes me time to process yeah, and then you're like okay, yes, and then you can.

You forget You're like kind of a part of the conversation that's happening. You feel like you're just observing it happen. Yeah.

I get like that sometimes too. I think that's like what we all experience in our family. Like I noticed juniors like that, Jeremys like that. I just think that I got aware of it a long time ago and tried to like grab the reins of it.

I still struggle with that. Sometimes it's like just spacing out and just yeah, I often feel like so.

Like daydreaming, you know, thinking about other things.

Always.

I think we all have the we're all, you know, the same thing. We're all the same thing, and we all access it differently, and all certainly have and can, but I think it has been a bit of a problem for me.

Yeah. Historical is that something that you feel like the Monroe stuff has helped with or because it has.

Helping understanding it, identifying it. Because if you can identify something, you can claim power.

Yeah.

If you can identify it, this is what this is, then you have the piece and the clarity and the power over yourself in this situation.

If you can't identify it.

It feels scary.

You cannot identify it, you're either not aware of it or you're in denial.

Yeah yeah, or you don't have.

Yeah, you may not have the tools.

Yeah, you're not the tools.

You might you know, not be able to face this issue.

You have.

Something I noticed about my post Moreau Monroe integration is that I've been a lot more committed to health, eating better, or feeling better about like my eating patterns and being like way more in control of like, nah, I don't want to eat, maybe I want to fast and just like committing to it without a second thought. Feeling great

You know.

So that's that's something I never would have expected.

Well, back to the wisdom of your body. Like your body thrives.

It wants to be happy, it wants it wants to feel good, and it wants to be healthy.

It thrives and I'm not talking calisten X or high intensity workout crazy cardio stuff. It thrives with movement, with being engaged, being active, doesn't have to be highly productive work.

You don't have to be an Olympic ath.

It just wants to be.

It wants to be moving, wants to be nourished, and it wants space to rest. And it sounds like you're just tapping into that really well right now.

Yeah, maybe I was talking to Ignacio. I think it was that time that we were on the phone with them last week, and I told him, Man, ever since leaving there, I've been getting the best sleep in my life. It was like, well, I mean that makes a lot of sense, because at least with Gateway, Like I can't say this will be the same with Creation Station because I haven't done it. But when you're there for so long and you're doing it for so long, it has

Can I tell you something funny this It was not funny at the time. Imagine, okay, imagine my story from the first Monroe trip and how profound it was for me. I changed and I immediately immediately got on a flight to New York City.

I forgot about that.

And listen, you are highly highly sensitive after and you're in a different perspective. Still, you're not grounded yet. And I go to New York and Jack and I are, you know, there for a couple of days, and we're going to go see a show. And we went to go see this musical and it's objectively a good show, Okay, which one, but it's called a Strange Loop. But it has some very troubling things in it. And I was highly susceptible. And this was the day after I left.

What.

She's talking about? Something so dark? You're just like stretching an alien.

Get a hair.

Talking about something?

Who's the older sebling here?

Right?

Exactly anyway that I was so mad. I was like, Jack of all the shows? Why are we here watching this?

After?

I just love them? In Row it was dark. But anyway, how long do you.

Think it took you before you started feeling.

I wasn't normal after my first time going there. I wasn't normal for a I don't think I've ever gotten normal. What is normal? Actually? What is normal? I don't think I've ever been normal again.

In terms of your definitely the perception of your sensitivity levels, Like like you mentioned being hyper sensitive right after, I would say.

The hyper sensitivity took some months to go away. Wow, yeah, it could take a.

Year, they say some people it was probably.

It was probably a year. And then I went back again.

It's in the ground packet here.

You feel like it just real.

I've been once a year for the past since then three years. I went that year, then last year, and then this year. But yeah, I just keeps coming back.

So it feels the same, like your sensitivity levels feel heightened every time after leaving. This is your third time now, and it was virtual, but the sensitivity was probably.

Oh my gosh. Yeah, I went to Walmart and I was like, I don't like Walmart.

Walmart has dark vibes, it does.

It was so intense.

The tunnels underneath Oh man, I thought that was the White House. Okay, they're connected.

Wait anyway, don't go don't go to don't go to Walmart during the monroach.

Yeah, or apparently a dark play oh my Broadway.

So so like for for our case, because we're doing Creation station, is it similar? Is the post experience similar where you're like in that heightened state basis?

Yeah, it is. You would compare it to like your other two trips, great, I would.

I wouldn't say it's I would say yeah.

It's a good thing. It's a good thing to experience. It's just like it depends on your perspective.

Like, Okay, I'll give you another example. I have a superpower. I don't drop Okay, this is my like funny superpower, but it's a real thing. Like you can ask Jack if I drop something, if if it's an accident, I will catch it no matter what. If something falls, I will catch it. My reflex is just like I can catch anything unless you're trying to throw something at me and I know I have to catch it. I might drop it, but if something falls I could catch it

Is that coming from like a lack of coordination place, or like a lack of focus place? Does that make sense? I think it's free.

I don't think I was coordinated with my body, Like I wasn't focused with my body.

So it's a focused thing.

Yeah, I think so.

I think the focus affected my coordination because I have great coordination.

I had the same exact experience, Like I even wrote it in my journal, Like for days, I was just dropping stuff. I'd be sitting there debrief and just drop my pen over and over and over. Eventually I had to put in my shirt pocket.

Yeah.

So I have a lot of questions about the virtual experience. After listening to Ryan go on and on about the Gateway experience, I'm just like, like, I feel like being there is such a such a deep part of the Gateway experience. I can't like, I can't wrap my mind around spending all day at the computer doing these things, going into your meditations, and then like, all right, it's been a day. I'm gonna go make dinner, like and be in my house and like live my regular life.

What I recommend is don't drive. You're not you're not encouraged to drive that weekend.

You're not actually supposed to drive.

You're not supposed to drive if you have to go somewhere and have someone drive for you. But like Friday night when it starts for Friday afternoon, from then, try not to drive, Try not to go in public.

So treat it kind of like a lock in.

Treat it like a lock in. Treat it like it's a special retreat.

So like prepare, get your groceries. Okay, I.

Was by myself that week and Jack was in Kansas for pickleball thing, and I had to go to Walmart because I have groceries, and I went after our first day, and that's why. I was like, oh my, oh wow, oh no, everyone was dogging on me. Why did you go to Walmart? Walmart? It's gross anyway, like ew Walmart? But yeah, don't go anywhere. Just treat it like it's really special. I didn't watch shows like I normally do.

I'm a watch Stephen Universe, yeah, nothing else.

Yeah.

Would you go as far to like turn your phone off? You could when you're at Monroe.

You don't have to.

Yeah.

I wasn't on mine. I didn't scroll, I didn't do any mindless scrolling.

That's what I mean. Like I do a lot of mindless scrolling in my free time. Yeah, And so I'm like, maybe it'd be worth complete log off for I.

Mean, it's like, use it if you need it, you know, you don't have to completely lock it away. You know, if your my dad try to call your something like. That's fine, But the idea, at least when you're there residentially is, yeah, you want to try to be like away.

From the outside world as much as possible.

Yeah, you're supposed to feel like you're kind of separated from the mundane.

I'm really trying not to like take any hopes, like specific hopes for specific outcomes into the experience because I truly just want to be like a blank canvas when I go in. That's great, but I can't help but have like some subconscious things that I really hope come from it.

Whatever is meant for you, you will be for you.

That's more so what I'm trying to settle into. You just need what I need.

I will get focus on that intention and dude, like, just take take my experience. For example, I had Emily and Dad's encounters in my mind and looming in the distance, like, surely I can't experience something that they did. This is so much pressure, And I literally went there in day one. I was like, I don't even know if it's possible for me to go out of body.

Like I don't even think I have this ability. That's kind of where I'm at, But it feels it feels similar to me of like the first a couple of times I would come over to the house and not see anything. Ye like, but you did, and eventually I did. But I remember feeling like, oh, man, like I'm not this isn't I'm not part of this blah blah blah. I mean I kind of feel that like like not, I don't know, no imposture syndrome or not.

Like everybody there felt imposter syndrome. If that makes you feel better, it does.

A little bit like everyone's completely new.

Chris Ramsey love him to keep bringing him up because our rooms were beside each other. I'm sorry, but I felt like you should hear this. Chris Ramsey's room was beside mine, so before and after every meditation we would talk like, oh, like he'd be.

The first person. Oh yeah, yeah.

We were always the first to see each other right after. And that's something he was telling me one time, like three or four days in he just had this profound breakthrough and on the way to one of the meditations, or it was right after, he was like, dude, I just I haven't known how to put words to it, but I've just had this crazy imposter syndrome all week, and I was like, in my head, I was like, damn, you know, that explains how I'm feeling. I think everybody

Love to sit down and us do an episode before, like do it before and after abh, like where we just kind of do this again.

I think I think that that coming up for you though, is something for you to marinate on beforehand, because you can work out that that imposter syndrome at the retreat. Like, if this is coming up for you, maybe make that sort of one of your intentions for the retreat itself.

Because it does bleed into everything else.

Of course.

Yeah, you guys are love Ignacio. He's a very bright light.

He is.

He's very wise, and I'll say like very tapped in, especially like with it being the creator thing, like the creativity thing, Like I feel like I'm the least creative. Like obviously, you know it's just a self limiting belief or whatever, but I do feel like you guys have your music thing. All of you guys have your music thing, and I'm just me, you know, So I'm like, but you said it's for everybody.

Music ain't the only art for it, buddy.

No, it's not even problem solving, like absolutely yes.

And also I'll say I just something I've been marinating on is that your existence is just creation magic. Like the fact that you're alive is creation magic.

I mean, and I think it all goes hand in hand with like the manifestation stuff.

It's creative intelligence.

Yeah, that's like in Rick Rubin's book, that's what he talked about. Everything is art, everything is creation.

You are.

Yeah, everything your eyeballs are seeing right now is like you know, you understand, you're not like seeing exactly what you think you're seeing. Your brain is painting a picture of what it thinks your eyeballs are seeing right now. Like you are constantly engaged in the act of creation.

What you're saying is creating an outward expression of your thought. You're bringing you're bringing forth and bringing it forth into the world. Like whatever you say, you are creating it. Yeah, you're making it real.

That's right. I heard something like don't talk about what you're doing until you're done, because you trick your brain into thinking you already did it.

That's such a problem for you.

Don't like actually follow through so like if you have plans to do something and you say, oh, I'm you know, I'm gonna climb the mountain. I'm going to climb the mountain. Like, the more you say that to other people, the more your brain thinks the mountains climb, dude, Which is interesting because like, yeah, no, I believe in that too.

Yeah, it's for sure a thing like I've had that problem a thousand moves in silence.

Yes, yeah, saying to not talk about it.

Yeah before yeah, real, g's riding silence like Lasagna.

Okay, okay, I think that is a difference though, wait, because.

He is silent, right, Oh my gosh, I love that.

It's a little Wayne.

I do think it's difficult though. I do think it's different though, than speaking and putting forth. It doesn't have to even be speaking. It could be writing or just starting the creation of said plans, because you have to bring it forth, but maybe not share it with others.

Right, because as soon as you write your intention down on paper, it becomes forty nine percent more likely it's gonna come true.

Well, that's that's an interesting number.

No, that's that's like correct, It's like forty eight or forty nine percent more likely to happen.

But something that we did at Monroe was there, Like, when you're trying to ask for something from your higher self, write it down. If you have questions for your higher self, think of the questions, write them down. You could even just think of the questions in your mind.

And no, no, no, you could.

You could write the questions down on a pin of paper and then number them one, two, three, and then when you get to the meditation, you don't even have to remember them. You can say, Okay, what's the answer to my first question, second question, third question. And I think it's like because when you write something down, your subconscious mind is sort of like using you as that marionette puppet to bind these symbols to that paper and sort of conjure forth the meaning of your words out

To you down, pick a journal.

Yeah, but I do agree.

I know.

It's just like how they say, like you commit things to memory more when you put when you write it down, it's like it's engaging your subconscious mind. It's like accessing your subconscious mind automatic writing, which is where the magic happens. You know about automatic writing? I think so, but tell me about it.

It's like the thing where they say, like you just start writing and then like you'll you'll be channeling some higher force and you know, crazy stuff will start coming out.

But Olivia does that every morning.

That's cool. Every morning.

That's very corn Yeah, she's got a great little morning routine. And I sleep in, but my sleep in is seven o'clock.

You know what.

Olivia is kind of a boss, dude.

I'm like, I'm getting to know her better as you guys are getting married, and I'm like around you guys as a couple more and where Yeah, just I'm seeing you guys grow up and you know, get closer and closer. And I have to say, dude, Plus, she was in college the first several year I really knew you, and I have to say, man, like, she's a boss. Dude, I'm excited for her. Go get her, bro Like, you're in good hands.

No, she truly is, like, and that's that's a lot of the reason that we're together is like when things started, like we've been together a long time, but when things started to get really serious, like she was the most driven person I knew, and I like, you know, I like, I like myself and I know what I'm capable of, but I knew that I like, in that moment, I lacked that drive, like I was just a pot smoking teenager, you know, and that like, that's probably one of the

She's absolutely.

Oh you know, there's some emotion under here somewhere.

Yeah. No, that that was beautiful.

Man.

The advice to you guys, going back to the other thing is, look, I can promise you based on what you guys both just said, I felt like a clone, like the identical feelings. And I literally went there the first day and I was like they're like, what do you expect? And I was like, nothing, Anything that I experienced I'll be happy for, you know, so just just you know, put it out of your head.

Yay, we have a creation station coming up. Oh, it's out. I got.

There's so much in between, right, I understand, like don't don't don't don't think about it. I'm not saying don't be excited, don't literally think about it, but like, don't I want this to happen.

I want to it.

Don't think any of that.

I've processed most of that and now I'm just like really excited and grateful that it's gonna happen.

That's all you need to be.

Yeah, And I'm just like excited to see what it is and.

This will be I'm not even really sharing as much about what we did because a lot of the visuals were related to prompts and things that you know, we

He was like, uh, that was wild.

I don't know if I'll ever be normal again. And we're like, oh, was this the creation stage?

Yes?

Yeah it was No, it was amazing. But you know, as we all progressed, everyone was like, what is going on?

Wow, skeptics come here. I heard stories of like.

Even if they didn't see visuals, they were like, something's different.

Sure, yeah, you could feel it.

Yeah.

There's this one story that was told to me while I was there that there's this husband and wife and the wife is like really into this stuff, and it was like I gotta go to the road and dote. So the husband was like all right, and I'll go with you. And then they get there and the husband starts having these like like Charles Xavier, like seeing all this ship and having these crazy experiences and everyone was like, yo, this is crazy, and the wife's like what you know.

Right, you know, but he needed it. It was for him.

I was doing like the how the channelers do with it, you know in the videos.

That's funny you said that because one of the I won't say names again, but shout out to my program people that because a lot of them listen, I love you guys. But someone else had an experience there that they were like I felt like Charles Xavier. I was like I was like in cerebral Yeah, like cerebro, cerebro.

Sorry, just you know, open mind, open heart, and it's it's an incredible place. Yeah, I think that, like, yeah, and most of all, it's fun and you're in good hands. You have to remember it's like, first of all, they have developed this cutting edge technology that gets your brain to these states.

It's not you can't think about it, like.

I don't know if I'll be able to get to these states of meditation. Yeah you will, because your brain's gonna do it for you, because it's gonna get to the frequencies. All you gotta do is just fall along.

Yeah.

That's not so much what my like like anxieties were or whatever it was. It was more so like, man, I hope these specific issues get fixed with me, right, But then but then I processed that and I was like, you know what, like it's going to be exactly what I need it to be. And yeah, I'm just excited now.

There's nothing to fix about you, right, Yeah.

That's a good way to look at it. Yeah, it's like I'm having.

Like a mixing board, like you're you're just shifting the dials into a more optimal position.

Keep that perspective, like I'm going to get exact or something.

You just got to tune the car up a little bit, yeah.

Or the boat, find like a specific way to all late to it.

Yeah, you gotta grease up that excavator.

All right, what's with that?

I don't I'm just trying to appeal to the youth.

The youth, and he points in me.

Yeah, yeah, I mean you are the youngest you are.

You're what twenty six and a couple of seven.

You're the baby baby, You're a little baby.

Wait, how old are you, Alex?

He's almost twenty six almost, I'm twenty twenty five and a half. I'm like twenty five ninety percent.

What's weird is I've always been the baby, but I'm starting to like in places not I'm like older than everyone, and that's weird.

Yeah.

Yeah, when when that starts to happen, that's like the over the hill thing.

Everyone's like wait.

Yeah, oh yeah, no, I mean I'm like in all my other friends in my grade, I was always the youngest, so it's yeah, I've always been the oldest.

Well yeah, I'm the baby of my family, so I've always felt like the baby. I've always felt like the youngest. And now that I'm thirty, it's like everyone around me is significantly younger than me. I'm like, this is weird. Yeah, this is a weird feeling.

You'll ever analyze your friends like in what way? Like the majority of my friends are all younger brothers, the large real friends and younger brothers. Really, oh really, and I'm like an older brother. I have a couple older brother friends, but yeah, most the majority of them are younger.

Yeah, I guess the majority of my friends then younger brothers. You start thinking, like the kind of people that you attract, Like, are they.

No, I'd have to think about that. I never thought about it. Yeah, well I never thought about it. I'm more of an abstract thinker because I have some older brothers.

All right, all right, there buddy.

Yeah, you're you're definitely an abstract thinker. Man of that shirt gives it away.

Yeah, it does. You're one of a kind, Bud.

Yeah, thanks, I you.

I did want to uh ask you.

About bending spoons.

Okay, you want to talk at all about like your second trip there?

My second trip there? Yeah, I don't know how much I can say, right, yeah, but I do know that I talked about something that when I was there at that time. I talked about that on here when I was above the house and all the stuff was happening in the house, and then I saw the lady and I saw that was that time when I went the second time. Yeah, yeah, I don't think I'm allowed to

What was don't even go there?

You asked me last night to make sure you don't go there.

I just don't want to go too much because I feel like we could do another episode on that because there's just so much about.

It, and we should absolute a thousand.

So it's like if I talk about this, then I'll have to talk about that, and it's like keep it clean.

Yeah, hey, we got it.

She literally told me the one thing you cannot let me talk about it my music. I'm telling you we are not going to talk about your We have to save it.

Let's do a whole episode. Yeah whenever.

Well, what I can say, what's what's been greenlighted is that where you know this is the album I was talking about two years ago that everyone's like, when's your music coming out? And I probably shouldn't have advertised it, but it was just so significant for me at the time, like I was finally writing music, I had unlocked all this stuff. And so now the timing is starting to accelerate and it should be coming out sooner. I can't say a date, but it should be sooner, and it

Yeah, we're making we're hitting like the momentum now yeah, we're getting it done.

Yeah, So that's exciting. Yeah. I don't I don't know what else I can say about it.

You feel resolved I think.

Everyone should watch and only if you're gonna love it, watch Labyrinth.

That's the message today.

That's unreal.

And it's funny because I wrote in here that the platform was Labyrinth like and then like last night we watched and I was like, oh, it was like that, and I didn't even remember that I had written that.

Wow.

So only if you know you're gonna love the movie, watch it.

Yeah, exactly, exactly.

That's the only movies I watch it.

Yeah, watch a trailer first.

David Bowie is the Goblin King.

Yeah, but that should be enough.

A Ryan loved it, No, I did. I thought it was very fun. Tron's on my list.

They just announced the third one.

Yeah.

I heard that they're going to be going into the real world. That's kind of crazy.

It's time.

Yeah, that'd be cool.

I don't even watch the original, man, I think, like just knowing you it will just be a complete waste of time.

Yeah, it is a very the You're great.

I do have something I want to say. It's something that I feel like a lot of people are going through spiritual awakenings, and I work with a lot of people in my program that are doing this right, and it's it can be really scary, it can be really hard, and just no, Number one, you're not alone. But also you can feel kind of crazy from the synchronicities. When you start noticing how things are connected, it can make you feel kind of crazy.

That is a great point, and.

You're not crazy. And the more you sit with it and the more you learn and grow through this process, the more you can just have a deep seated knowing of was connected and it's not surprising anymore. It's like yeah, yeah, okay, And it's to the point where it's like, oh, you know, if you were to ask me what's been going on with you, it's like, well, I don't know how to explain it because I feel like everything is a synchronicity. It does, and I don't know how to explain it.

Yeah?

Yeah. I have little pockets of time where everything seems like it's connected, and it's it's really really hard to relay that to people, how everything is connected, everything's a synchronicity. Like I feel like Casey is going through that right now, where everything in her life is a synchronicity. Every day she's telling me oh my god. That will I get in the car at the end of the day and she'll be like boom unload, like five different synchronicities on

Yeah, yeah, it's that. And then it's also I guess, I mean not everyone has the same experience for everything, but I feel like I will just hear or just feel a message and it's like, yeah, that's it. Like I just know that this is true. Something happens and I'm like this is that or you know, this is what this means or this is why that happened or whatever. I just kind of like have a knowing and then I don't stress about it. Like you don't have to.

Detachment?

Yeah, And I think that in itself, that permission can give a lot of peace.

Yeah.

I tend to that makes sense, absolutely does it does.

I tend to look at synchronicities more as a general sign. I don't dig into the specific meaning just just me personally. I just look at them as like a little nudge from the universe, like you're doing good, You're on the right path, keep it up.

Yeah.

And another thing is like the phenomenon showing up physically, like as an entity or an orb doesn't if that's not happening right now. I still get signs and feel them and know I have a knowing that they're there, and I see things that happen that I know is related to that. But I don't have to be seeing things. So I said that because a lot of people that experienced things, or maybe they had un experience, they're like well it's not happening. Now, what does that mean? What

Yeah right, yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, it's interesting you say that because that's kind of where I'm at right now. It's like I haven't seen anything in quite some time, probably since the last time we saw something altogether. And I'll think about that when when I don't see anything, But then I'm like I don't need it. Yeah, yeah, I'm doing great, Like I feel great, and you're like, I know it's there, you know, Like I don't need constant that affirmation that they're with me.

It was two weekends ago we saw one together, remember at Olivia's birthday party that weekend with your friend.

I didn't see it, Yeah, you did. But it was I was having trouble looking where you were looking. I don't remember seeing it was me you and I know, I know exactly what you're talking. Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about, but I had issues seeing it. I thought you saw it.

Yeah, okay, well then they know that you're in you don't really need it.

That's kind of where I'm at. It's like, I don't like, I don't beat myself up over it. You're busy, You're busy right now. But I'm also just like I'm also you know, doing good. Yeah, like you know, like I'm very happy, yeah, very content.

So yeah, and I'll think, yeah, and I'll share this affirmation that came up for me. I was supposed to come up with an affirmation, and U like, what is it.

That I desire most?

And I just got really overwhelmed with this feeling of gratitude, like I don't want anything. I don't actually know what to say. God, I want this more than anything, because ultimately I have everything I need and I just couldn't come up with any affirmation that would help me manifest something I desired. And so ultimately what I landed on was I have everything I need and that has been sort of it's.

The most beautiful place to be.

That's what I've been really affirming for myself every day. And because of that, even if you don't truly feel it in the moment, by restating that, you're making your brain believe it, and you're telling the universe and God and everything that you are welcoming the things that you need, right, the things that give you abundance and happiness, and so like by just trying to desperately pour your energy into things that you don't have that you want, it's kind of like.

You're focusing on the wrong thing.

Well, not necessarily, I mean you could be. I think it's more about the energy. Like, if you want a new car, it could be the wrong thing, or it could be something that you want. And that's okay. You can want a new car. That's nothing wrong with that, But where's your how are you managing the energy with that? Where is your intention with that? Like do you really need the car or do you want it because it's material right? Or do you want it because it would make you so happy?

Yeah?

Like where is the underlying thing here? So just getting really fine tuned with the energy, the energetics of like your intention and the things you say and want.

Yeah, that's beautiful. I mean like this at the beginning of this year was like one of the hardest times I've ever gone through in my whole life, and gratitude saved me from it.

Like, well, you can't experience anxiety and gratitude at the same time.

Yeah. Yeah, I had to trick myself. Like you said, even if you don't feel it in the moment, just say it out loud yourself. I had to say out loud to myself that, like, I'm grateful for everything I have. I have everything I need, even though at the time it very much did not feel like it, but eventually it clicked and everything started falling into place.

Good.

Yeah, it was really I learned a lot this year. I've learned a lot.

You've had a big year.

It's been a big year.

Yeah, I'm proud all of them. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of all of y'all.

Thank you.

I'm proud of the studio.

It's it's it's beautiful.

I love it so much.

It's not done right.

Well, I feel like y'all know, y'all know, I feel like this is my podcast too, Yes it is. I know that I put in all the work y'all do, but.

I mean I feel that way too. I tell people that it's it's like our family, you know.

Yeah, absolutely, so I'm proud.

You got pictures to take, Yeah you do have pictures. Yeah, you got pictures to take. We got to say that, we got to say the outro line. You know, everybody feel good?

Yeah, yeah, I mean we lug you in the beginning. You want to at least throw your Instagram and whatever relevant things?

Yeah?

Sure. Oh and I I will say I'm sorry for my blood so baby people, this is my TikTok. I haven't been posting because I've been grinding at my business.

Yeah, been so busy whatever.

Yeah, it's a lot of creative juice to post on different platforms that are total spread yourself to so I'll get back to it as I can. But yeah, my Instagram is Emily Holloway Voice. I post a lot of different stuff, even if you're not a singer. I think it can be helpful content. But yeah, I also have them in a row and affiliate link if anyone wants to sign up for Monroe that's my bio.

Awesome. Yeah, it's always awesome. Yeah, having you here, we.

Have to do it again soon.

You know I'll be back for River Fast.

Oh yeah, you stay with.

Us in October.

Sweet awesome.

The better be spot for me because.

Well we'll figure it out.

We will.

I mean, you got you know, hypothetically, if there's no spot here, I mean you know, I'm sure you got two other apartments.

We'll figure it out, for sure, we'll figure it out.

Yeah. So you know the words, right, the magic words, the magic words. You ready, y'all.

By weird things happen in the backyard of Bletsoe House. Shi, look out, it's so weird. You're coming closer to my heart right up, like smirre.

Ling on the inside of it. No one knows that it's coming right over side. Being a happy