161: Stream of Consciousness 4

Weird things happened in the backyard.

Weird, weird, weird. I'm sorry, I'm in myself laugh doing that. I'm sorry, but we can start like that. It's okay. That was great. Thank you, dude, thank you. You're thirty one. Now you're what were you saying, Alex over the hill?

Thirty one runs over the hill.

I'm feeling different, you feel different? Yeah, I'm seeing things different.

Really, so getting that social Security check?

Oh yeah, man, And I just you know, it's it's a little bit tougher to wake up every day.

I'm not gonna lie, bro, that's some bull literally, like since we were thirteen, you couldn't get out of bed.

Yeah, that's true, bro, which is thirty one in reverse?

Oh yo, you know at this point we have for sure known each other like more than half of our lives. Oh yeah, dude, since twelve and eleven. Really yeah, damn, that's crazy me In case, we were talking about that the other day, I was like, twenty years. Yeah, oh my god, dude, twenty years seems like the duration of my life. So anything longer than that is, like, that's for sure not real. Like I don't I feel thirty, but I also I'm like that seems old as am.

I don't remember like ten years of your life.

No, I don't remember the majority of my life. To be honest, I feel like a child. They let drive. Who's they? Yeah? Who is they?

The powers that the people who let me get my license, the.

Powers that be state.

I guess I don't know power, the power with the.

Governor, the mayor. How are we doing, boys, I'm doing good? Yeah, yeah, I'm doing good. Tired today? Yeah? Yeah? We little Debbie little Oh that was a little Debbie by the way, that wasn't like honestly, I've seen way worse than Fable. But I'm also I've been telling people because people in my office were like that was Everybody got way too

Pretty sure they get typhoons. Yeah, which is a hurricane spins in reverse?

It's a hurricane. No it's not.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it does.

That's not what that is.

They get monsters, it's a different hemisphere spends the other way. Oh, the toilet's also flush.

I feel like that part's a myth.

I'll find it out.

No, I feel like that that is probably not true at all. But yeah, I thinking it was gonna be worse. Well, everybody was. Everybody like, at least at work, We're like, oh my god, it's gonna be so terrible, Like we couldn't find water. Oh yeah, we went to Walmart. There's like no water, no milk, no bread, know, nothing whatever. And then it was like, not not really that bad at all.

That's every storm. I think, like people always freak out, what are you laughing about?

Ultimately, after all of the scientific talk has been done, we can confidently state that the only thing that has an influence on which way down the drain the water goes in Australia is the shape of the basin that you are using.

You see what I'm saying, Dude. You can't freaking believe everything you see on the internet.

So you thought for a moment that the water in Australia reverse different?

Oh no, I'm I'm sure he thought that his entire life. Am I wrong? You thought that's been the truth? I love you, It's been the truth. That's what I'm saying like, man, I've heard that my whole life. Have you never heard that?

What about Australian water reverse different?

Yes, you've never heard that. I've heard that my entire life.

Okay, tropical cyclones above the equator's been counterclockwise, while those below it'spin clockwise. So tropical that part tropical cyclones, that being tropical storms, hurricanes, and typhoons.

Uh well, then that means that a typhoon is not just a reverse hurricane, so they don't typhoon.

A typhoon in the southern hemisphere below the equator spins different, sir.

That is not what we are discussing here, and I'm gonna need you to just fess up.

No, no, this is where we started. But I likened this to flushing the toilet because the time I flushed the toilet was a bigger storm than Debbie.

Uh huh right, but right, yeah, for sure.

That's how we got there. Yeah.

Man, people are always freaking out about storms, and I don't know. I saw the report that they were like gonna be expecting the Carolina is to be on the outskirts of the storm.

So I was just like, whatever, No, it wasn't it wasn't nothing. Emily got kind of did you see the she sent you that video. The water was like coming up to her door.

There's someone I think one of Jenny's coworkers had some flooding, like in her house. But I want to say they might live right outside of Wilmington.

Yeah. I have a couple coworkers across the bridge that couldn't get to work today. It was like, look at them. Yeah, I know for real. I was stuck in there like there was nobody in there.

So basically for the audience, we had like that tropical storm Debbie passed through yesterday and hey, the rain was crazy. Though.

It's Deborah, is it Deborah? Yeah? Put the respect on. Oh it's Debbie. I thought it was Debbie. Debbie. It's dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're cool with her, it's dead. If you know her, you know what I mean, it's dead.

We had to walk got under her outskirts.

Oh dude, wait a minute, all right.

Does it reverse different? It's only when you flip it in reverse it Yo, that's und dude.

I cannot believe you just went there with that. That's nuts.

Uh.

If y'all can't tell, we're doing a Stream of Consciousness episode. I think you could probably tell from Alex's Shenanigans. So I kind of just want to talk about what we's been going through our minds lately.

Yeah, for sure, in all seriousness.

Like, I feel like I've been going through a little bit of like a spiritual bat So how about you, man, how are you settling into Wilmington? I am feeling like I'm settling in. Yeah, it's starting to feel it's starting to feel normal. Things are finally finally starting to get stable. I like it here. It's awesome. It's so great being so close to the podcast. Like, yeah, dude, not having to drive two and a half hours has been like

Like ten times as much now? Yeah, it's like literally three four days a week.

Yeatly It's like it's like how it used to be in Fayetteville when we both lived in Fayetteville. We saw each other all the time. But no, I'm adjusting. I'm adjusting, like I feel like it's going good. I miss my family like I do miss my family. I feel like, how long do you think it took you to get over that.

Oh, definitely a while. But I will tell you that you get used to the distance. And like I've been telling you even before you moved here, like when you when you adjust to the distance, you actually find that like every time you see them is better, you know what I mean, because you're not around them all the time every week. And you know, obviously being around family is great, but when it's like absence, you know, makes the heart grow fonder.

So those holidays are.

So much more special and so much more meaningful, and you want to just squeeze every drop out of being around your parents, and it's actually it seems better to me really.

Yeah, yeah, I feel like we like me and my family work. There's a spider. Sorry, Oh no, I feel like me and my family were kind of I don't know, we our family's been through a lot of kind of just like weird transitional phases of like people moving away or then, Like there's been a couple kind of scary situations, like Dad's gone through some stuff, you know, with health problems, health problems. Yeah, and you know, there's been a few

Yeah, I feel that too.

By like the universe or I don't, I don't know by what, Like I'm I feel like I am just constantly being put through these kind of trials, even like on a smaller scale, like they're not all huge and devastating and whatever, Like I still feel like I've lived a fairly easy life, but you know, just little things.

I think that there's always resistance when something is evolving, You understand what I'm saying, Like, I think, as you're growing as a person, and we are growing as a team and what we're doing, and like we're getting more like laser focus and locked in and obviously the growth is happening. I feel like as we are rapidly grow going collectively as the team, we all are also going on like our individual.

Growth journey too.

Yeah, And I feel like when that happens, like there's always resistance when you grow. It's always uncomfortable. It's always like you know, when something evolves the caterpillar, it goes into the chrystalist and then it becomes the butterfly. It's always this like strange, uncomfortable situation. And I feel like maybe That's that's what it is like, because your intentions are to keep moving forward and to keep focusing in on this and to keep like doing this and bettering yourself.

Yeah, yeah, I think so. I think that's true. It's it's just like it's been. It's been tough at points. It's been particularly tough at points, and I'm I don't know, I'm not like I'm I feel like I'm in touch with my emotions, but I sometimes I feel like it's hard to decode how I'm feeling and why I'm feeling it. Like I don't know if y'all experience this, but a lot of times I'll feel things way before I know

Right?

And I forget to stop and be like, your whole entire life is changing around you in like a huge dramatic way. And like I can like kind of beat myself up sometimes about it and like about feeling the way that I feel, but it's important to remember that you can't like control the way that you feel. You can't you can't control like the initial feeling at least.

Yeah, That's something I've always wrestled with, like feeling bad about something or someone or a situation and then like feeling like guilty, like why do I even feel this way? And that's a lesson that I've had to learn that, Like, you know, not every.

Day is gonna be perfect. Like some some.

Days, I feel like we are literally like if there was some metaphysical calendar that was like tomorrow, you're gonna feel like this. Tomorrow, you know, people might say that's astrology, but today you're gonna feel like this. I feel like many of those days are just you're gonna wake up and you're gonna feel bad. Yeah, and it's okay to feel bad. It's okay to not be, you know, on top of your game. And that's something that I'm wrestling with. Like even Jenny today, she was just feeling so tired

And I was like, you're so productive.

You're so badass, You're doing amazing at your job, You're doing X, Y Z amazing things. You need to stop beating yourself up so bad. And tomorrow we're gonna wake up and we're gonna feel better. Yeah, you know, And she just kind of sat there. I hope she took it in, but.

Yeah, it's funny. There are people like I would consider Jenny to see see, like one of these people that like if they are having kind of a down day or something, it feels a little off. Like she is very she seems very capable at most times to like turn it around and like still get the stuff done that she needs to get done and be productive, and like she's very on it in that way. And then like I know people where it seems like it is.

Just impossible, Yeah.

Completely impossible. And then I know other people who it's like I used to like there's never an issue.

I used to be one of the impossible people, were like I can't turn this shit around in my head. And as I'm getting older, I'm starting to be a little better at it.

But like you think, you mean, for like extended periods of time you would feel like that.

Oh yeah, yeah, especially lately man like with with the house stuff, you know, buying the house, and there was quite a bit of like.

It.

It's hard to say buyer's remorse, but just it's one thing when you're making decisions and you're spending money and you're like literally changing your life, and like, logically, this is a good choice, this is a good idea. I'm going to do this. You're doing it. Okay, I'm doing it. But then when the dust settles after the storm of it all, and then you're on the other side, I'm sitting here like, oh my god, did I just should

Alex is about to but in a really good way.

Yeah, it's married, and it's it's really not gonna be a shocking change for you because you've been together so long. It's gonna be a good change.

Yeah, you know, but how.

You feel, I don't. I think it's gonna be a very seamless like. I don't think there's gonna be a change. No, it is just interesting, like.

There will be a little change and it's gonna be how you feel about each other.

I believe it.

It's real.

Man, I'm kind of over She probably won't listen to this, but no, yeah, all of that's for sure. But it's just like this whole planning of the wedding and doing all of this part of like everything leading up to it. I'm just so over it. And I'm like listening to you guys talk about your your spiritual journey lately, and I'm just sitting here thinking that I've been so wrapped up in like material stuff for like the last six months that I haven't really given my spiritual journey any thought.

How many invites have you sent out to X, Y Z flashions you know, who's right?

And then this shower, that shower, this shower, who's r SVP, Who who's opened the invitation and not gotten back to us and stuff like that, And it's I don't know, man, we don't have there's not a lot of people not coming. It's gonna be.

That's awesome.

Yeah, also a little stressful, it can be. Yeah, I can't believe I got a kiss her in front of that many people.

Dude, that's so funny that, like, that's a real thing that you with talk about.

This isn't the first time you've mentioned it. No, we are not PDA. People like y'all know that. I mean, y'all have been around me.

I didn't know that, but now I do.

Well, I mean, how many times have you seen Olivia kiss each other?

That's true?

And now that I think about it, literally never. But I'm not sitting there thinking about, like, oh one of my friends gonna kids, you know. You know, I don't think about you know.

But some people are very like and there's nothing wrong with that. Some people are very touchy, feeling very PDA with each other.

Yeah, good for them, Yeah that's cool.

Don't know what that's good for them. Don't know what that's like at all.

Bro. I Yeah, I feel like me and Casey are like that. We're we're very lovey dove.

Yeah, but it's not as bad as you might think people would think. You guys are pretty like, yeah.

We try to be considerate about it. Okay, so there's a time and a place, So yeah, for sure for the people who don't know, Casey just started working for the company that I work for, which is awesome. It has been really great. Literally, Jim and Pam, honestly, it kind of feels like that sometimes, like, uh, but so we drive to work together and everything, like we get up at the same time. It's like, it's so weird

But I just think that falls under professional.

Yeah, it's the workplace. It's like, yeah, I just don't want to make anybody.

Don't want to give HR something to do, Yeah, god forbid.

Yeah, I'm tight with HR though, So it's all good.

Good.

You you said something that I have been thinking about a lot lately, and I'm interested in, uh talking about which is that like the you feel like you've been in a situation where you're not like you it's a lot of material stuff and like earthly stuff and you haven't really had time to let your mind just kind of be open and like accept spirituality and practice it and stuff like that, or even think about it, even

I'll just tell you where to sit.

Yeah. Yeah. A few nights ago we finally sat down. You know, we've been waiting for months to have free time to work on this. We've like mentioned in passing that there's another Patreon show coming, and we.

Also mentioned it will be on the other side of our crazy uprooting situations.

In life, which yeah, approch. We're we're here pretty much like we're one more left, one more left, we got we got the But that's like the that's the big celebration. That's gonna feel like the big like the big relief of all the pressure. Dud His wedding is gonna be dope. It's gonna be the best. I cannot wait. Yeah, Like I like weddings, I usually feel obligated to go to weddings. There have been a couple of weddings. Y'all's wedding was

Yeah, I'm going to France. You all are relaxing, Yeah.

I mean, are you saying being in France isn't gonna be relaxing?

I hope it is.

It's gonna be sweet, dude, It's gonna be sweet.

You're going to Paris right for two days, which is like about all the time I want to spend in Paris.

And anywhere else.

I don't know south of France, but you don't remember.

No, it's on overside at all.

I think maybe you gotta go there, do I think it's on the itinerary.

That's cool.

Yeah, we're doing like a guided tour through.

You know, Oversida is right.

Nice, it's where they signed the treaty.

It's like where it's it's where the king lives. The castle.

You can get the castle.

Yeah, you can tour it and everything. It's like a museum. Now we are taking a little bit of an aside, but it's okay. What what maybe y'all choose France.

I don't know what made her choose Fans. See, that's the thing about marriage too.

Man, you're gonna you're gonna become a lot more comfortable with Like, you know, we're in the house buying process, right, uh huh.

And we'll get back to France in a minute and then we'll get back to Green Boys. It's okay, this is great, this is great, this is this is the rabbit hole.

Yeah, this is great.

No, but we're buying houses and you know, we toured three or four of them, and she sees this when she really likes this one, and I'm just like, sure.

You know, I really liked it.

I'm underplaying it, but I'm just saying, you gotta get used to a lot more of that, brother.

It's true. But also, like you always it's always like the happy wife, happy life, happy spouse, happy house, you know whatever. But it's it's less like nefarious than it sounds. Absolutely, you know, it's just participating and making them happy. Yeah, what it actually is is more it's like it's like that like participating, like the give and the take.

Going to the concerts with her that I would never in a million years go see on my own.

But it's like it makes it one of the responsibilities of like being married. This is true. This is what I can't we're gonna give you.

I can't wait to hear it. But I've got my own take.

We're gonna give you marriage advice right now. That's what's happening. It is it's very much like you have a responsibility when you get married to not always put yourself first, like yep, and that can be a hard adjustment. Yeah, Like I consider myself for a lot of my life a pretty selfish person. That's like naturally who I have been for a lot of my life.

I can I can agree with that, I think not. We'll talk about it, Okay, you can agree No, no, no, I'm sorry, I'm let me be more clear. I can agree that I feel the same way about myself.

I see, I see, but not.

I think there's selfishness in like a selfish way. And then I think there's selfishness in like a self loving kind of way. I have priorities, My time is important, right, Like I think there's healthy boundaries selfishness, yeah for sure. Yeah, And like yeah, like I would rather be selfish and hurt people's feelings than be a pushover and have people walk all over me all the time.

Yeah.

Yeah, sorry, but go ahead marriage if I.

No, I feel that. And those things are very different, by the way, right, like the self love thing and the boundaries and stuff that like shouldn't for the most part, like shouldn't go away like you have to you cannot. You can't be capable of loving someone else if you don't love yourself and take care of yourself.

Yeah. No, but I think it's a good thing to bring up because I'm sure there's people out there that struggle with that and will write that off as om being selfish. It's like, no, you're not, You're being good to yourself.

Good point. Yeah, you know, good point.

And it's really it's so won't I won't name names, but someone in my life is going through this like is on the other side where this person will do anything for anybody without limit, without caring for themselves. Yeah, and in the process of trying to find this self love and self respect is like hitting the walls. On both sides will do very very selfish things and be very very rude to other people, but because they're hitting

Yeah, which is very It's that's very caring of you, and that's.

Like sometimes I'm not saying I'm really good at.

It, but you're trying, and that's all that matters. We were having a conversation the other day I don't remember when or Yeah, we have conversations. No I know, I just don't remember this one. But you also haven't said what it was about yet, right, you should probably let me say what it was about first. All right, we were talking about how like what makes you like always

Be like agree, right, I mean, I think what you're describing is being perfect versus doing your best.

Yeah, exactly, yes, And like there is no perfect.

There's no perfect people in heaven.

There's no perfect people anywhere, That's what I mean. Yeah, yeah, And and I feel like there's people who feel like in order to be a good person, they have to be perfect.

And that's a lot of pressure. Oh my god, that's a lot of pressure.

Oh my god. You can't you can't put that kind of press.

Actually, I hope Olivia listens to this one.

WHOA, I do not endorse that. I don't.

Yeah, you know, I kind of she wouldn't mind me saying that.

I low key like in this whole wedding ordeal. You do realize I'm sort of like, she's my boss.

Oh do you understand that?

No, I completely understand that. You watch it, you're my boss, right, but for that day, she's going to be your boss.

She's she's like, I got a yes, ma'am, I'm officiating the wedding.

Me and you both, buddy, Yes, ma'am.

Well, if it would make you.

Feel better, man, I will put my hands on your shoulders when it's time to kiss the bride.

Give him a little I'm sure that'll make him feel better.

Actually, if you just get out of the way, that'd be.

I hope I'll be in it. You can be in one, you know.

Not to make the whole day about me here, but I'm feeling a lot of pressure, dude, are you really? I mean, not in a non serious way and then not stressful, be honest.

Do you feel any pressure?

I hope you feel some pressure.

I hope I feel I feel It's a big deal. I feel okay, So I've done one. It was like seventy five people, and now we're.

Going to be what three hundred?

Well, if it makes you feel any better. Right now, we're sitting at about two hundred and forty.

Great and I have probably met like twenty five of them.

So and it's like that kind of makes it that easier. Flip it, flip your your pressure.

Flip it move sit.

Yeah, second time.

So I'm going to work with some secret identities that I don't necessarily want to put in your head, that I'm going to like talk to at some point once I because obviously we have to meet to get what you expect out of the wedding. But then once I drafted up, there's a couple of people that I'm gonna approach tied to. You know, people you know talk and just you know, get their opinion. Well I've thought of some more and just get some opinions. Hey is this

But well that's good. You're doing your due diligence. That's going to make all the difference. There's no there's no you know, you don't need to feel pressure. Most of these people are people you don't even freaking know.

And it's also like, I don't know, I'm trying to think of there's only one wedding I've been to where the efficient made an impact on me, and it was because I was related to them, right, So it's like yeah, and that's what I have to constantly remind myself when we're going through this planning, is like, who's going to remember what color the napkins are?

Dude, no one, you won't. I don't remember the color of mine me either. You won't listen. It's so crazy. It'll be the fastest day of your whole life.

Oh yeah, yeah, you want to hear my wedding timeline of your whole life? No, like like personally where I'm at with the whole thing where Yeah, So like just just go day of day of wake up with the boys chilling like.

Oh you got it?

You got this ship land out and yeah. In my head it's like all right, okay, cool, share what.

I'm a crash man. I'm one of the boys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the boys. So then then we're taking pictures. I don't know how I feel about all that whatever, it's gonna start bubbling up and you're gonna have to get calmed down. Probably then we got a ride to the venue, and that's probably when I'm going to start to get nervous, get nervous. The whole time, show up, walk in, do what I'm supposed to do, like we practiced, not try not to throw up, try not to pass out, try not to sweat too much.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry to interrupt you. Why is this a real concern? I just like when the day of my wedding, I like, you should see the pictures from my wedding. I am like as white as your shirt, like and just nervous. Oh my god, dude, Well, I don't know why I was so nervous. I was like, I've been with this girl for.

Well, dude, it was the same. Oh so my dude, my one of my best buddies who's in the wedding, just got engaged. Oh and we were chatting about it and he had his girl on speaker and Olivia was with me on speaker. We were chatting about it and they were just going off about how nervous we both were when we popped the question, dude, same, I wasn't And it's like, yeah, well no, you probably don't proposal day. I was like, I'm gonna puk Yeah no, I'm like, dude,

It was really that was never gonna happen. That was never gonna happen.

Cross my mind. It didn't cross my mind. But it's just the gravity of the situation. I'm a worrier, That's what it is. It was the gravity and that's where I'm at now, like, holy crap. Yeah, yeah, so anyway, show up, do the thing. Then I think peak nerves is having to kiss her. Actually really like, no, we're not doing We're not doing you're not We're doing personal vows, custom vowels at the first look, and then we're doing traditional at the ceremony.

That's a good idea.

Yeah, I don't want to profess my love in front of a bunch of people. It's their business.

Well you're really extreme about this PDA thing, That's what I'm telling you.

So look, no, not quite peak nerves, right, gotta kis through. Peak nerves is dip on the way out. You mean, like the picture walk out dip. God, that's the most nervous.

I skipped that.

I was like, maybe we're not doing that, which we did not.

Might be smart usually do that.

Yeah, Yeah, because then you get a second as you're walking down the aisle, then you dip, and then it's gonna come down a little bit. We first dance, first dance is still gonna be like top three most nervous things.

Oh that's the easy part.

Is the easy part because you're talking to each other. Yeah, well we're choreographing it right now. Oh yeah, you're doing like I'm in I have lessons every Sunday. You're doing the freaking the cupa shuffle. No, like we have, like we have a choreographed dance that I'm.

For his first dance, Like you know, that's the corny song that plays at every wedding ever, But like for that to be the first dance would actually, on ironically be one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.

I was gonna say, like, what dance we're really doing, and then I was like, nah, maybe I wouldn't say, We'll leave it to surprise.

Well areographs.

Yeah, after the dance, once the dance is over, it's all party like and like, once the dance out of the way, I'm gonna have a good time. So you're not saying I'm gonna have a bad time.

Sure.

For just for the record, I'm gonna it's gonna be the best able move we've both.

Been in your shoes. You don't you don't have I'm talking to the viewer.

I don't want I don't want people out there to spin my words and email it to her email dude, you know.

Because they all have her email.

I'm just saying I felt the same pressure as you know, Alex. And this is one of my big regrets is that you weren't there at this thing. But I felt like at this point, when you know, the wedding that you officiated, we.

Had been.

Long story short, you know, I proposed in I think it was late twenty nineteen, and at this point I had only known Alex for like a year, and then when it came time to the wedding, we had only known each other for two.

Years, I see.

So I felt like if I didn't which I wanted him to be there. I felt like if I did invite him, it would have been truly unfair to my other friends that you were there. And so you know, there was a lot of people that I didn't invite, Yeah, because it was like it was wedding party only and my grandma.

Yeah, it's because it was like like COVID exactly. Yeah, that's why I did it.

Yeah, I'm not upset.

Well I know you're not, but I'm just saying that's one of my big, big, big regrets is that you couldn't be there at the time. We didn't have the podcast. We had been friends working together for a year, and thinking back on it, I'm like, God, you should have been there.

Dude, you should have been there. I feel the same way about you. Oh, I mean, it is what it is. Yeah, you know, it just shook out that way. It is what it is. Yeah. I mean I love and here we are exactly, that's all that matters. I love my wedding. But I am sometimes like, man, you.

Know what's It's like, I was talking to my mom about this and she's like, everybody that was in my wedding I'm not friends with anymore.

Wow.

I was like, damn, okay, Like, and this was in the process of choosing these people, and that really took a lot of weight off of the situation. Yeah, it's true, Like it's okay, yeah, you know. And then I also like, as we get closer and I'm like, casually meeting some of my neighbors and like casually making some adult friends. And I'm like, I just we've just become friends two months out from the wedding. You're not getting invited, but we could become great friends. And that's just that's just

Yeah, there are like seasons in life, and like sometimes people like come and go out of your life. You don't really have control over it. It just it just happens. It's just the flow of life.

And well, this was like this is like way out of left field, but this was one of my neighbors who just came. We were walking the dog and he was out there and I hung out with him a little bit. Buddy came to tell me his wife was pregnant, and I was like, man, that is so awesome. And then it got me thinking, like we planned to stay here, and like we planned to have children, and I'm like, man, is my kid going to be running around with this kid?

Damn, man, I'm now getting a picture of like the mental torture that you're going through, like you're feeling a lot of.

Pressure, like foreverness pressure, right, yeah, yeah, but it's it's good man. And And the reason I brought up my beach wedding that Nick officiated was just to say that day, dude, I was so.

Scared to read my vows.

I mean I just cried my eyes out, And honestly, the reason was because I was confessing this stuff in front of Jenny's parents, who before we were married, I didn't have that level of I guess, like comfort, comfortability, like emotional openness.

I remember, yeah, yeah, And.

I mean obviously we were always were close and got along and had a great relationship. But I don't think that I just I didn't feel at the time. I mean, I did it. I obviously was comfortable enough to do it, but I'm just saying I felt the pressure too, Like I know exactly what you're describing. But then when it came time to the the you know, the public wedding a year later, I just breathed through the vowels and I didn't give a shit because I had.

Done the hard.

Dude, he did the same vowels, same exact vowels. Yeah, so it was the same ceremony essentially.

But I wasn't officiating it.

Well yeah, I mean, okay, not really the same ceremony. Like we literally just walked up. Nick gave us an entirely different, original, unique, uh ceremony.

We read our vowels. It was over. But the wedding.

Obviously, you know, there's a little bit of a program, but obviously the wedding one was more special emotionally.

I put in some uh little nerdy Easter eggs into my yeah, my speech. It started with dearly beloved, which is Kingdom hearts, and then at one point I said share your energy with me, which is what Goku says, Like I like worked it in there naturally so that only I could see people's faces lighting up, like Warren was. As soon as I said dearly beloved, Warren went, I saw his face give my grandma cried her eyes out. So then that happened.

And then our buddy Chris who you don't know that well, but you've met him.

Chris Tutin. Yeah, it's okay, shout out Chris Tutan He's one of my best friends in life. Yeah. No, we get along really well.

Yeah, he's he's a great guy, just he lives in the wrong.

I hope that's true. I'm just speaking for myself.

He doesn't he doesn't not get along like with anyone anybody. He's one of those guys that, like it, doesn't have enemies. No anyone in the world could meet this guy the first time and they're cool.

And he knows about you. He I mean, obviously he knows you, but he asks about you. Guys, he supports the podcast. He's he's got he's a good guy. But he was so touched by that that he asked me to do his wedding and now here we are full circle doing yours.

Who Yeah, it trickles down, it passes down. Yeah, I was.

We were kind of so we're not, like we don't belong to a church yet And I say yet, because you kind of plan on it even though you know we've talked about like I don't go to church. I go to podcasts, but I can't send my kids to podcasts, so ca. So anyway, we were like, man, who are we going to have officiate the wedding because like, we're not we don't have a relationship with the church when I'm a relationship with like a preacher or anybody like that. And my cousins in the past have used some of

It's just right.

This is like the week before you moved here, you had your I think it was your engagement party, right, yes, but Jenny couldn't make because she was yes, yes, yes, yes, And I was there and unless you're comfortable with it, I won't say names. No, But I was talking to Olivia's parents, who obviously I know really well because they were my bosses years ago, so like we have a rapport in a previous history.

And I go up to Olivia's dad and he's I love her dad.

And I go up to her dad and I'm like, hey, how's it going, you know, mister Walton.

I'll just say that, mister Walton.

And I was like, did you hear that I'm officiating the wedding?

He was like what really, No, that's crazy.

I didn't know that. And I was like, oh, okay.

And then I go up to Olivia's mom and I'm like, hey, did you hear him officiating the wedding? And she looked at me like, who do you think made the decision? Who do you think talked her into it?

Yes?

I know, So this is the dichotomy. There was so funny Elayne.

And Olivia playing this wedding. Yeah, yeah, that's her mother. Yeah, And that was a big boost of confidence that she was like, yes, get him to do it.

So I think it's going to be perfect. Yeah, it's gonna be perfect. It'd be a good time. I can't wait. So, yeah, you go for it, France. I don't really think we're gonna get why out of that. Yeah. I don't think we are either. Olivia wanted it.

Yeah, we've traveled Europe together with her parents and that was a good time with the same company that we're traveling with this time.

So wait, wait, wait, like a travel company.

Yeah, yeah, that's cool. Honestly, like I was when I got invited to Italy. So so basically tell the whole story. Yea, she went study abroad in Italy for two months. She did a dance program. This year her junior year of college,

But or slash blood. I'm kidding you.

Want to if Gate one's out there and here's this, I feel like that get some trips out of it. But so yeah, they they'll like they handle all of your hotel accommodations, they handle all of your travel, you get, you get to go to multiple cities in the same country. They make sure that you hit all of the museums, all of the sight seeing, all of the castles and whatnot. But they'll only do one meal or two meals max

That sounds awesome.

But I don't have to worry about speaking French. I don't have to worry about finding the right place to stay. I don't have to worry about So you'll.

You'll have like a translator follow you.

We'll have a tour guide throughout the day, so we'll have a group. It'll be a group of people, and we did small groups. You've got to do the catacombs. Yeah, yes, if you have the opportunity in Paris. I know we're doing a vintage car ride around Paris. That's cool.

You know what else you need to do?

Bro?

If you have an evening, I'm serious, write this down, dude. If you have an evening where you and Olivia have some hours to just like chill and you don't have to be on a schedule. The cool thing about Paris is there are Lime scooters. You guys know about limescooters. Oh yeah've done those in rally everywhere. Yes, same thing, same brand, but they have other brands too. Get you a scooter one of their electric rentals, and dude, in Paris, you could just bike.

It with traffic. So I was kind of thinking that it's amazing.

I was.

I pitched her that maybe and like Nice or one of the other little beach towns that will rent vespas.

That's cool, do that too, and do that, but dude, rent you a little line. Once you're done with it, you just drop it off. Yeah yeah, I've done it before and just scooter around Paris.

So we only have two days Paris. So at night it's amazing with the lights everywhere. We're doing the we're doing Mulin Rouge.

What are you serious?

Yeah, we got tickets already. No, yeah, I don't know what to expect.

I'm kind of have you ever seen it like the State the like? Have you?

Are you talking about the theater like the show.

The stout it the stage, the stage show, that's like what it's about.

No, No, so there's there's a theater performance.

That's about I'm talking about like the there's videos of it, like all over the internet.

No, I haven't watched anything, and you can spoil it for me.

No no, no, no, no, I'm not going to no no no. But like that is so sick. That would be high on my list of things that I wanted to do.

Yeah, it was like, yeah, I just we talked about it. Her parents went and I was like, all right, let's just do it. And so we did the the vi P. I don't know what it's. They were very cryptic about what the VIP is. And so it was like a huge Campbell. It was like you get nicer food and premium champagne and a surprise.

An extra surprise. Yeah. Yeah, we'll see dude, that's gonna be sick.

Yeah, you're gonna have a great time. I'll be holding it down over here.

Yeah. I just want to hit the beach man because if it were up to me, we'd be somewhere tropical.

You're gonna be there how long?

Like twelve days days?

Yeah, that's epic, dude. Yep, that's gonna be a blast.

Yeah, it's gonna be fun.

I know, I don't if it might be feudile, but try to shake the nerves of the wedding thing. That's one of my biggest regrets is like I was a wreck. I was such a nervous wreck that like Jenny had to take CBD. Yeah I did helped. She didn't even cry to her in her vowels. I bawled like a babby.

I kinda. I just have to channel the little performer mode that I have that y'all have seen, Like, I just need to get into it. I think the best thing you can do, man, honestly, to do yourself justice is just be completely genuine and authentic. That's the plan.

But if you feel like I would like to cry, if you feel like your emotional, if you feel like you're you know, gonna cry or anything like that, just do it because that's like the one day in your life where people are sitting there in the chair and they're like waiting.

People want to they want to. Yeah, it's the.

Only day you can cry as a man and not be judged.

Well.

Also the birth of like your children too.

Yeah, like, but only people there depends on you ask you know, no, like I I you know, I'm not going to stop it if I do because if I try to stop it, it's gonna be worse.

I'll reach over there with the finger and just kind of.

Raw fingsue.

Yeah, like hold hands behind your back, you know, well until i've just what you did with your arm was hold. I'll hold his hand behind his back until of course I like give him over to her.

Then he's hers him up there in handcuffs behind his back. So then when they finally say their value, you unlock it and.

So no rings, just you get a key from Ryan.

Yeah, I'll walk them up in handcuffs.

And then when it's like when when they when we're doing the legally like do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband whatever, I'll just give him over as her product. So wait, so we're we go from handcuffs to ball and chain.

No, you're the ball and chain you are, that's what he say. I give you over as you're you're the PROD.

You're going home with me.

Now, the fact that you chose the word product.

I'm going to take care of you. Yeah, because I love you.

Like you usually hear property yeah, like, which is like funny, it's like technically true, but it's weird.

But Honestly, I've been I've been saying that a lot as a joke.

Yeah, it's what. It's what every guy who's about to get married does.

Yeah, like, what are you going to do when you're my property kind of thing? Yeah, yeah, probably do the same thing she already does and boss me around.

It's funny because like, right, exactly, nothing's going to change there. But I still slipped that joke in every now and then. Doesn't mean I get like once or twice a year. I'll just be like, yeah, well you are my property, so just joke. It's just yeah, of course, it's just obviously.

But Alex, pro tip for you man. The first week, at least for me, dude, the first week I wore this ring, that bitch.

Was hurting well my ring. My ring has always been loose on my finger. And then when I lost a bunch of weight last year, it does not even fit me anymore. Oh yeah, I noticed it. I haven't worn it in a while. Yeah, And oh my god, the amount of times I get asked like, or why aren't you I thought you weren't married, Like why aren't you wearing your ring? Like I'm like, it just doesn't fit me. Anymore. Yeah, I just assumed never to ask those kinds of questions,

You can. They can going down to size is way cheaper.

They just like make little laser knicks and like cut out small portions of it and then just kind of like read because it's pretty easy.

They're removing material, not adding materials, in charge you for the material. Yeah, but I'm kind of like, so we picked out our bands, like a year ago, we got our I remember, and then I switched jobs, so now I do a lot of like electrician type got to get the rubber.

One one, and I don't I want one bad dude.

I'm not a big fan.

But honestly, are you saying like you might not be able to wear it while you work because it might it might not be a good idea.

Yeah, it I'm kind of like, you know, I don't really mess with a lot of super high voltage stuff, and I'm not really worried about the arc.

Like, no, it's not that I know three people. I just like last week's one of my coworkers was telling me a horror story about it. And this makes the third person that I know who like knows somebody or it happened to them where like their ring got caught on some thing and it just pulled their finger off like like very easily. Dude, that happened to Jimmy fallon, Like his finger didn't come off, but he was like

Because the ring got caught out the corner like fully like pulled skin off.

Had to have like crazy surgery. His finger was stuck like this forever. Like rings are like low key kind of dangerous.

So I might hang in on my necklace.

That is probably the move. While you're like that's a great idea.

That'd be super like I've never seen anybody do that.

It'd be swag.

Well, yeah, of course, yeah, I was thinking Lord of the rings.

Well, by the way, Ryan and Jenny proposed to me to be my efficient, to be the efficient, how do.

We propose you? I forgot.

I think he came over with an envelope and you were like openness, Yeah, that's how he did it.

Dude, I was when I was in shock. Were we already doing the podcast at that point or no? No, okay, yeah, this was we.

Were doing the podcast, uh like eight months later.

Wow. So yeah. So we were just there for the weekend, just hanging out. Yeah, and like, I don't even remember what we were doing. I just turned around and Ryan and Jinny are both on one knee and they handed me the one ring from Lord of the Rings on a chain and they were like, will you marry us? And I was so in shock. I did not see that coming a mile away. Like I didn't see it at all. But it is a big shock. Asking to do somebody's wedding. Yeah.

Both times now, I've been asked twice and both times I was like what and I yeah, And I never thought that I would ever like do anyone's wedding ever. Never even considered it, Like, never considered that I.

Would be asked to do it. I was like fully in shock, like, oh my god, you said we were talking about Lord of It.

But that's why I felt like I had to because I wasn't at your wedding. So I was like, well, then you you gotta do hours. It did kind of feel like amending.

Yeah, I don't feel reverend enough to do that, to do that.

PVC pipes and stuff. Yeah, nobody knows what we're talking about. Let's keep it that way. Let's keep it that. It's a good idea, but yeah, I.

Just don't feel like I've got what it takes.

Well, that's not true that some people got Dude, I know that's not true. I wouldn't have thought I did. I wouldn't have thought like I could have done something like that.

I could have told you there's a reason you're on that side of the table. Both of youse Buffy is y'all want to hear something shocking?

Yes, shock me. We are on the final episode of the Sopranos. That's shocking. How how has season six or is it five six? How has season six been? It's crazy, really.

Yeah, And it's just because it's the last season. It's just so like, oh, start this episode, everything's going great, boop, this character's dead. But no, it's just crazy because both of y'all like started it before us, and both of y'all convinced us to watch it, and we have just not stopped.

We're not watching anything and both of.

Us have hit a road pluck.

Yeah, I do that with shows. I started watching that like a year and a half ago.

Oh yeah, we started around the same time.

Really, yeah, he was a few months before you. Raven got me on it. Yeah, Raven like he just binged it in like a month or two, like just binge the whole thing and was like, Bro, you have to watch the Sopranos. Uh. So I finally watched it.

But so I wanted to say this real quick about the Sopranos. Okay, in my mind, I was like, well, this could be a whole episode, but I'm like, nah, it could be, but then I'd have to rewatch from the jump. From the very beginning of the show. I was telling Jenny this show as a cult. There is so much esoteric symbolism in this show and it's very subtle.

Just see I told you it's a cult and it makes sense. It was like the biggest running show of the time. You know, that's how it works.

So there's a couple of things I wanted to run by you guys that pretty much are not spoilers the things you've seen mmmm maybe not mm.

Maybe not now. And then I think about it. Oh yeah, there's there's one that.

I can say. Did y'all know that AJ and Meadow have their own show? Yes? Yeah, podcast.

But I want to say this because I'm not trying to rant for the listener to hear me talk about sopranos the whole time. But Okay, so this is going to be a minor uh spoiler, if that's right with you guys. But it has nothing to do like what happens.

In the main with Nicker, with me or both both. Okay, it's really minor. It's just one of those occult things.

So I did not care about spoilers.

Okay, So at one point Tony does peyote mmm, and again, like it's gonna be some minor spoiler. It depends on you know what a spoiler is to you. But it's not gonna be like major stuff that happens and they're in Vegas, and there's a whole episode in season six that shows how like bad he is with gambling, Oh Tony, Like he's constantly blowing money. He goes through this whole phase where he's blowing hundreds of thousands of dollars in

He's on a strat.

He does peyote in Las Vegas, and he goes to gamble. He wins like seventy thousand dollars. Psychic, his intuition. He's having this psychic moment where he's seeing these patterns he's winning the money. And then he goes outside and he's like looks at the sun and the sun flashes at him in a flash of light, and then he starts standing in the pos of a cross and he's.

Like, I get it now, I get it. And then he goes to therapy and he.

Starts talking about these metaphysical revelations that he had in his head, and it's like really insightful stuff like about I saw my mother and all mothers as being the bust that carries us here to this world and then you know, we suffer in life because we're trying to stay on the bus, but we have to go forward.

It's just like this kind of stuff like that.

And damn, I just thought that was crazy, like the the overt occult symbolism.

But I feel like, I feel like in almost every season there's something, there's something yes there, and throughout the whole show there's a huge emphasis on dreams.

Yes like and there's there's some things that are unfolding now that were set up for like four or five six seasons. And I just want to put your mind towards this that when Christopher goes through his initiation, which by the way, it was you know, pricking their fingers, drawing blood candle, they're wearing this regalia and there's.

Like a crow in the window. There's a crow. That's what I was gonna say. There's a crow and.

Something to do with They had an altar and I think they had cards on the table like Caro cards or something. So I just want to throw that out there. But yeah, I just I wanted to see what you guys can say when I was like, I'm on the last episode, that's all the end of an era.

Yeah, that's awesome. We will definitely be finishing it at some point. We like to jump around show to show and then I also get into modes where all I want to watch is one piece and so yeah, but we will finish it at some point very soon.

So that was a random tangent. How do you guys feel about giving them a little bit about green Boys?

Yeah, let's do that before. If you guys, if this is your first Stream of Consciousness episode, this is how they go. We just like get in here. It's like usually when we are in like busy points in our life and we just kind of get in here and update y'all on what's been going on, just like chit chat. Yeah, we'd be streamed if you enjoy it.

Let us know if you enjoy just hearing us talk candidly about our personal lives and just kind of like you know, chatting with each other necessarily not with a topic or like some focused educational content.

I mean, we really like doing this.

I've really enjoyed this. I love it. I've had great We just sprinkle them in every every now and then, every couple of months or so.

We took us like three years to do the second one, and now we're in.

Love with the format. Yeah, but yeah, just sprinkling them in every now and then.

And if you like stream of consciousness, you're gonna love Green Barge.

We've been conceptualizing this for a long time and it's our new Patreon show. It's gonna be out soon then in the next couple months, in the fall, yeah, we can. We can confidently say in the fall fall, Yeah, after Alex's wedding, Yes for sure. And Green Boys is gonna be the new show, and it's gonna be the show where we get in here and we get all of our energy out.

You know.

Some of y'all's favorite moments from the show are like when we role play as characters and when we just like completely goof off and go on these like goo feed tangents and stuff like that. It's gonna be a lot of that, and then like some other high energy type content, it's gonna be like a creative kind of outleg yeah party, Yeah, it's gonna be a party.

The way I think of it in my mind is just like full disclosure, where it's just like we show up and we just like kind of vent our hearts out, but instead of it being like more personal things. I mean sometimes it can be, yeah, but to me, it's just kind of like a lighthearted comedy show.

Goofy, goofy, goofy. Yeah, we're just having fun. We're gonna be goofy, goofy, goofy on Green Boys. So we uh a couple of nights ago we got in here because I've been telling them for months, like we're gonna do a new like theme song for Green Boys. It's gonna be its own show and all this stuff. But I want us to make the song together. I want us to be in the room and make the song together. I had like experimented with some stuff.

But because all the other songs, it's just Nick, it's just me, and they turned out like I'm happy with the way that those turned out, amazing, but thank you.

But I was like, this one, I want all of our energy in it. And we made it the other night right here in this room, and like what we came up with was where we were laughing so like for an hour straight making this song. It was so much fun. Yeah, that's gonna be the energy of Green Boys, just like Goofy having so much fun.

There's a lot of moments in this show where like you have to understand as a listener, like, you know, we're we're we're trying to do something different here where we want to have like very deep, mystical, profound, you know, spiritual conversation about all these x y Z you know, occult and paranormal and conspiratorial and whatever subjects. But like also at our core, we're just like we just like

That's the perfect way to put it.

Yeah, that is the perfect way to It's a must for us, and it is an outlet for that type of energy, Yeah, which then creates more room in BSS, the main show, to do main show things.

Yeah for sure.

Well it's not saying either the you know BSS is going to change, It's just I think like the more dude, Like, I can't deny that when we started Full Disclosure, I started to feel more confident in myself when it came.

To record this show.

Absolutely, And I think you can go back and look at that and see that real time.

Definitely.

And I feel like us getting into Green Boys, I think we're all just going to feel better about what we're doing. I mean, it's just all gonna gel. It's all gonna be firing together on all cylinders. And I'm very excited.

I am too. It's gonna be so goofy and so much fun. So if you want more Yellowstone role play, get on over to.

I've been telling you all today, like I really want to do some GTA five role plays.

Yeah, we're going to do one.

I r L in this room. I've been thinking exactly.

I've been thinking about some sort of potential BSS streaming thing.

But I don't know that's later. Yeah, we can do it.

Now that we've talked Patreon, we might as well. You want to give them a plug, Alex a Patreon plug all plugs.

Yeah, we rarely do it. Welsosaid, so dot com.

We have merch and all of our details on there that lead you over to Patreon. Patreon dot com slash Bloodsoe said, so, get you perks, gets you into the mothership Discord chat with everybody, super like minded community, very supportive community, very loving community. It's been awesome hanging out with five hundred people who just get along. Yeah, that's awesome. So you get Discord, you get episodes a day early

Us New Tear.

And also subscribe on the YouTube. Subscribe ever almost a twenty k. I might be at twenty k by the time this comes out. It was twenty seven. I mean it was nineteen seven hundred, nineteen thousand, seven hundred today when I look yesterday, we were at nineteen thousand, six hundred. Twenty thousand special. We talked about that.

I don't think we've ever Yeah, we want to do a twenty thousand checkout special. I don't think we've ever done like a plug for subscriptions or everything like that. But there's about like about fifty percent of nineteen severership is subscribed, So if you like us and you want to see more, please subscribe. It helps to show a lot.

Yeah, it just it helps us to be like more on the algorithm and YouTube and all that, and also like, if you want to follow us on social media, you know, we really should do this more. Really well, we're working on it. Yeah, yeah, we're working on that. But we do have an Instagram and my lovely wife Jennifer, who I was, you know, spending a great deal bragging about today confessing my feelings at our wedding, that one. She

It's behind the scenes.

Behind the scenes, yeah anything.

Our main hub of social media is Instagram and it's at Bledsoe podcast on.

Instagram Bledsoe Family Developments. Yeah anything, yeah, yeah, install, install, install, Get over the I am not sponsored one of those little fast ad reads you know. Also, look, we have neon. Isn't that cool? We did we already did an episode with the but it's cool. It's cool. Didn't talk about it at all.

No, but it's because we're doing the Instagram post.

So.

But but that first episode that it's in, I brought you guys in with a big wide shot.

You can't what was that?

King Arthur? Yes, so iconic. Bro.

Do you remember in the Da Vinci Code episode we talked about the blade and the chalice. Yeah, and how like the sword or the blade is is the masculine energy, and we know, I just thought that was kind of cool.

Bro.

We got the blowing ass.

On fucking triangle on the King Arthur episode. It's the blade, It's the Blade. Who knows?

I love y'all, Love you guys, guys.

It was weird things happen in the backyard of Bletsoe House. Shiit o god, it was so weird coming cluster to like smirring on the inside of it. No one knows coming right, haven't nod a side not a

Happy