159: Merlin

Weird things happened in the.

Weird, weird weird.

You were giving me the power and I was giving it to the triangle, the triad, okay, and they have to give the energy back to you to complete, to complete the triad, and then Alex show yourself right now.

Yes, my lord, I'm a wizard.

You're a wizard. You're a wizard, Harry, Alan, You're a I love me Alan, Yeah, I do too. I love you. We love you, Alan, Yeah, we do. We're doing an episode about Merland. Yeo, Merlin, the Magician, Merlin, the Wizard, Merlin, the shape shifter, the prophet, Merlin, the prophet, the seer.

I saw you're gonna say that.

I saw you were going to say that too. Yeah, we just saw each other.

Yeah, we traveled time and space.

I see you. Yeah, man, I see you.

I see you too.

I get it. I get you. I see your deepest desire. What is that? What would you say? A seer? It's like a diviner. I just I just realized that did not make it any easier.

Like a fortune teller.

Yeah, a future here, yeah, a future seer? Oh well, I don't know.

So were you saying seer?

Like you see your steak or a seer a seer, a seer as in the act the the active.

Act seeing, but also also often wizards or seers are depicted as being able to see anything in the past, present, or future.

Yeah, or into the spirit world.

Yeah, or into a vortex and a black hole on another planet. So yeah, we're talking about Merlin. Merlin, y'all know him, y'all know what's up. Yeah, I've met him, you have.

Yeah, I saw him in the the Disney movie The Sword and the Stone, so you met him. His likeness, likeness. Also you know what, dude, I'm just gonna say it, there's this amazing short series from the nineties called Merlin.

Oh yeah, I found that during my research. I've never seen it. I watched it on a BBC show I think, so.

Yeah, it's like a two part series.

Is it like a modern Merlin thing or is it like.

Uh, I don't know, it's like a fantasy like medieval times Merlin and King Arthur or what else? Do they call her Mordred the Witch or whatever?

Yeah, it's very cool.

I didn't have time to watch it for this said, I wanted to so bad.

I have a fun, interesting little way to kick us off, Alex, what do you know about Merlin? Uh?

Little to nothing?

Okay, good, that's a that's the perfect place for us to start, because there might be some people out there listening that might you know, they might not know much about Merlin.

Huh.

So this is a this is an interesting thing. You know, all sorts of most cultures in the world have like a mythology, right, they have a mythology lasting from thousands and thousands of years you look at like, uh, like ancient ancient China, Greece, Egypt, like most of the world has a mythology around their like the you know their ancient culture. Well, Britain's, England's, the UK whatever that theirs was wiped out in war. It was literally all burned to the ground, all of it, like their big live

Yeah, so it's no, not at all. I was eating it up because I'm interested in in what you came across. And it sounds like we came across a lot of the same stuff. Because when we say we want to do these episodes, it's like, you know, I might have the idea I want to look into the history, or maybe this time I want to focus on the pop culture, you know, And it seems like we kind of had

Wise figure, yeah, wouldn't exist.

Merlin's the archetypal magis the ultimate sage who holds the secrets of the universe and the key to the elements. He's depicted as being able to transfer his time. He can speak the language of all living things, shape shift, fly at will see the future. He's also, you know, this sort of wild man of the woods. He's sometimes depicted as having this wild boar that follows him and they talk to each other and communing with other naked

So and some of them it was a demon. It was an incubust right that he was born of, like an incubus and his mortal mother.

Yeah, which is crazy. And then those versions of the story, he's depicted as being like super tall, like a giant. He can lift these really powerful strong rocks and he has the superhuman strength and he's part demon and it's kind of this like scary lore about Merlin through the medieval ages.

Yeah, I don't know who. I don't know who brought that version of the story about. But according to that version, he was like he was like the anti Christ. Wow. Like I did a lot of research about that kind of version of it, and like the demons of Hell like straight up manifested him. Essentially. They they orchestrated this whole plan as like a revenge against Christ. And the

Of apparently that comes from Jeoffrey of Monmouth depicting him as a demon. And what's really cool about that is because this came around in the Dark Ages, right, these stories of Merlin, the tales that he was based off of, and at this point in Europe there was not really like a clear boundary between Christianity and paganism.

Right.

We did talk about that on the Halloween special yes year or the year before maybe, I'm not sure. I think it was last year, but we talked about that how in medieval times there was this superstitition, it's just fear of you know, these these pagan legends, but also like the emergence of Christian rulership and authority. So there's speculation that the character of Merlin serves as a third dynamic element to the Arthurian legend, where as his role

Like there's multiple versions from different backgrounds of Merlin. Like there's like a Christian hero version of Merlin, you know what I'm talking about. And then there's the demonic like evil version of Merlin where he's like born of an incubus and it was like a part of the Harrowing of Hell. I got it written down right here. According to legend, Merlin was conceived of a mortal woman and

Please, That's that's really cool. I didn't know that element of the story, but I like where you were going with the Murden thing. So Murden was this character who was written about. I think it was. I wrote it down somewhere, but I think it was the ninth century. It was was it was earlier than the Merlin stories. And Geoffrey of Monmouth he was obsessed with this this ancient Latin literature. He went to a monastery, became a monk, and he was proficient in Latin. Everything back then universally

Right, Yes, something happened to him.

He saw the horrors of war, That's what it was. He saw the war between the Saxons and the Britons, and it was just all these people being brutally slaughtered, and he went crazy and he fled, and.

He just fled into the woods for like fifty years or something.

And then his sanity is restored by the gift of prophecy and he comes back out and he's like a wizard again. But the reason he changed the name from Murden to merlinis is because in Latin, the prefix it's either the prefix or the suffix of the word. Merden meant shit.

Well, so oh marred.

Yes, marred means the shitty one. Jeffrey of Monmouth was like, let's come up with a better name.

Oh my god. I only know that because all the time Angel Candelaria shout out, he'll just go mailed, like out of nowhere. And I finally asked him, like, what the fuck are you saying. He's like, Marred it means shit in French.

Yeah, in Spanish, the shitty one. Yeah, the shitty one. So he was like, yeah, we're gonna call him merlinis.

That's probably better change it doesn't mean the shitty one.

Yeah. So in the original, yeah, it's he's fascinated with the Welsh stories of King's heroes monsters, so he becomes a scholar of the church. He researched all these historical tablets written in Latin, so his name was Murden, but instead of translating it to Murdinis, he changed it to merlinis right. Also Ambrosia, because there was another story based on this other figure who was this fatherless child of

Damn.

So Jeffrey of Monmouth was writing these legends as fiction, just having fun with it, but the people at the time were seeing it as real, like, oh my god, these are real prophecies because he was telling ancient stories that that really happened. Like you said, he was telling real historical stories. Yeah, it's like pseudohistory, pseudohistory, but he was weaving Merlin and the prophecies into it, and the commoners reading it were like, Oh my god, this all really happened.

This is real. Yeah, it's like mythology.

He was like the original nostradamis.

Oh that's sick.

So this is really interesting to me because this still happens, and I think we talked about it, like getting into like stranger things. Like stranger Things makes me mad because Operation Monarch and mk Ultra get conflated with these fake stories.

But the really wild and interesting thing to me is that court magicians were a real thing.

They still are.

Remember we talked about this.

Ronald Reagan, right, had an astrologer that was like, you're gonna be in serious trouble if you go out on this day, and he did and he was shot.

Yeah, So it's like it's a weird thing, this whole Merlin. Like that's why there's so many blurred lines, and there's people out there that still like believe he was real. People believe he was just allegory fiction, nonfiction. Who knows what it is. The lines are so blurred because to be honest, this like this neo Mythology of Britannia written by Geoffrey of Monmouth is like really convincing and historically sound in many ways, and it's like what was real what wasn't.

It's kind of like Hermistroch's magicis right exactly archetypal stage figure, Like did he really exist?

You know?

Theirs speculation that maybe he really did exist, but it wasn't a person named Merlin to be with someone named Merdon. You know, maybe it was ambrosious, Maybe there was a real person that he was based on.

Yeah, there's yeah, there's there's a bunch a ton that he could have been based on He's also he also bears many similarities to Odin. Yeah, you know, many similarities like this.

Wise old wizard that kind of lives out in the.

World in the woods. He's the future. It's like there's there's tons of overlap between this figure and all these other figures. So it's it's really fascinating.

At some point, there were after you know, these original writings of Merlin or merlinis, there were other scholars and authors writing more and more and more stuff about Merlin. At one point, Shakespeare actually debunked Merlin stories as being fabricated. Like that's how big the legend grew, Shakespeare debt them.

But still to this isn't there like speculation about Shakespeare being.

Real or not? Yeah?

Yeah, was it one person or was it.

A group of people's Yeah exactly. Yeah, what's it called a pseudonym or whatever? Yeah, yeah, that's still debated. But I mean, so is the existence of Merlin. Like, dude, there are entire like burial sites, Yeah, like the Merlin's Mound and Merlin's Hill, and like there's like six or seven different places in the world that like the legend is that Merlin is buried there. We'll check this out, dude.

Recently, like in the last I think it was like in the eighties or the nineties, there was a body found in a Pete Bog in Britain that had strong evidence. I'll explain the evidence in but it's the body. The analysis of the body suggested that it may have been ritually sacrificed in the fashion that the Druids did. They

Where was it.

Somewhere in Britain?

I don't remember, yeah, because it's That's another thing that's still hotly debated is like was he from Wales or was he from Scotland? Yeah, like all of the there's there's burials in both places, there are legends from both places. There's like tons of evidence from both places of like where this whole myth came about or whatever. Yeah, but people still debate was he real or not?

Yeah, I mean it's hard to say it. I feel like with a story that passes through the ages like that, that has such a a resonance to it, that spreads like there has to be something to it.

And I also feel like it gets to a certain point where it doesn't even matter anymore. It doesn't matter if they existed or not, because their impact exists and that's all that matters. It's just like the hermis tris measures thing like who cares if he actually existed or not, Like the knowledge is here, the downloads happened, or you know whatever, Like people have been communicating with something from the beyond that gave them the idea of this hermes

I'm glad you said that, because I was watching this lecture from this guy and instead of like a modern figure, he calls himself Arthur Uther Pendragon, and he's like he like dresses in this like ancient Celtic attire, and he calls himself as like a modern pagan priest, and he's talking about the myths of Merlin and Arthur. And I think he was a British guy, and he was saying exactly what you just said, Like it's there comes a certain point where you know, like Jeffrey of Monmouth, was

That's what I'm saying. That's the thing, Like it gets to a point where it doesn't matter, Like there are accounts throughout antiquity of people receiving messages from Merlin, like the Spirit of Merlin. To this day, there are entire there's a cult of Merlin, like there is a and it is spread throughout the world. Here I wrote a little bit about it. Let's just go ahead, and I

Yet?

I would to Merlinian magic. So this call groups of followers like candles and chant old Welsh and Scottish poems wo to divine and receive Merlin's teachings of wisdom. There are many accounts, many claims the world over of people who say they receive messages from Merlin's spirit, instructing them and passing on teachings, eventually leading to the receiver of the messages being given the title of Merlin. This is

That's a very interesting point. I didn't I didn't come across this at all. This is very, very fascinating stuff. It's like we talked about this on the Hermeticism episode.

You're new to the most like an acolyte or whatever.

Right, right, But now that's very cool, Like what if Merlin wasn't really a person, but it was this secret title like the magis or the sage. You know, Merlin, you would it could be a metaphor like when you reach this level of consciousness, you are at this status.

Yeah, I mean, who knows, dude, Like none of us have ever been like a court magician or something yeah, like it could have been among the order of these court magicians that like the highest title that you could receive is that of Merlin. Like we don't know, we don't know, but there are tons of legends and and

Yeah, it's like, at what point does it become real? Right, Like the the energy of it, the force of it, Like, at what point do we say, wow, you know there is a Merlin Because there's over a thousand years of writings about this figure. You have over a thousand years or more of people being in this cult of Merlin and trying to receive messages from this forest. It's like it's the same as herb Eastrus, Majstus or Jesus or Krishna.

It's like any stage throughout time.

Yeah, it's like you have these different archetypal expressions of the one thing. But you know, maybe Britain in the UK and Scotland and Ireland at the time was like well, dang, we don't have a religion. Yeah, but this is how we interface with the supernatural. So we're just kind of, you know, calling it what we can.

As we go.

It's like, where's the distinction and the religion that started five thousand years ago versus the one that started one thousand years ago?

Exactly? You know what I mean. They're they're for all intents and purposes, they're just as real as the other. Right, you want to hear that reminded me of something you want to hear something really fascinating is actually J R. Tolkien wrote, uh, the Lord of the Rings, largely because he writes he wrote about this before he ever wrote Lord of the Rings. How he mourned for the loss

He's he's the like the he I mean, sure, he's kind of like a court magician, but he's deeper than that. But he's like the council to Frodo and the Fellowship, he's like their counselor. He doesn't really get so involved, but yeah, you know when he has to. He can see through time.

Yep, look to the east on the light of the fifth.

Day and I'll be there, you know, and boom, he saw the future five days in advance and he appeared right at that moment.

Oh my god.

And speak to the animals. He speaks to the little bugs and they fly away, and you know, he.

Speaks to grabs the moth and then talks to it, and then the eagle comes and stuff.

Uh huh.

Yeah, it's like that. That for all intentsive purposes, could be like the mythology, Like there's obviously this gap in history where the mythology was eradicated, and here we have these new mythologies rising. Do you know about like the first story of Merlin that emerged sort of let me read it. Uh so in Jeoffrey's telling, which was I think it was called just History of Britannia or something.

Yeah, I had it written down right here. It's called uh the History of Kings of Britain or Historia Region Brittannia.

Yeah, okay, okay, cool. So in Jeoffrey's telling British King Vordigern, this this is back I do you know this one? This is back in like uh.

I mean I really existed in like ye seven or eight hundreds.

Yeah, it's a real storyatly this is claimed to be back in like the sixth century, like like six or seventh cent five hundreds then yeah, yeah, yeah. British King Vordigern flees to Wales, where he tries to build a tower to protect himself from the Saxons. They were at war for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years. He tries to build a tower to protect himself, but the tower is mysteriously toppled every night and the foundations crumble.

And that channeling material is the original prophecies that were published.

Yes, yes, Merlin's prophecies. So he sees the two dragons, he goes into the trance foretells the whole future, and he decrees that the dragons are a metaphor. The white dragon symbolizes the Saxons, the red dragon symbolizes the Brits, and that the white dragon will triumph over the red dragon, so the Saxons will triumph over the Brits, and predicting the coming of the great a great king by the

The beautiful Duchess of Cornwall.

So it's like not, it's like not only was he because I I never knew that part of it. I thought he was just like he was Arthur's right hand man, I didn't know like the whole origins of everything. According to this the reason Arthur was born is because Merlin saw into the future, saw that this king needed to be born, and like literally hatched a plan to birth Arthur. I had no idea whatsoever that that was. So that's

Right, I'm a I'm thinking now that we should do a follow up of this with like King Arthur Arthurian legends, you know, like the Arthurian myth.

Yeah, Arthur. But that brings up a good point. What's your What do you think is your favorite like depiction of Merlin that you've seen?

Oh, I mean I really did like that series growing up the nineties.

To watch that. It's cool because I looked into it a good bit while doing research and it seems really sick.

Yeah, it's awesome.

There's obviously the Disney one.

Yeah, but that's that's really not you know Disney movies are. It takes like some really cool historical thing and it's cool, but it's it's really just so whimsical and not really grounded in reality. And obviously, you know, the Merlin myth is supernatural and all this. But the show is very cool.

Yeah, I want to watch that. I saw it looks really cool.

My favorite is always like the story of the Lady in the Lake Merlin and Arthur and then you know, he receives the glowing sort of light excalibur from the Lady in the Lake. I think that's very cool. But I don't know. I mean, I never really thought about like a favorite story of Merlin.

Well, like depiction, Like I really loved the Merlin from the Green Knight movie. Yeah it was Merlin in that movie. Yeah, I don't remember. He had like sacred geometry tattoos all over his arms and shit, bro that shit is That's like the coolest depiction of Merlin that I've seen. They had the round table and everything. Yeah, yeah, he had a I think he had a pentagram pendent or something. He was decked out. He had like crystals all over him, sacred geometry like that was I do not remember that,

I had to read Sir Godwaen and the Green Knight freshman year in college, which it was so boring.

Dude, I never read that. I don't think we read any I mean I didn't read any stuff like that. No, I never I know, I have a lot of friends who read the whole gow.

And it's just like Old English, and you know it's the Old English doesn't lend much to excitement, but yeah, it's it's it's crazy, man, Like we we could we could do like a whole thing on on the Arthurian legend. But you know, there there's there's some speculation that there's more evidence that Merlin was a real person than Arthur

Oh yeah, I saw that. I saw that there was one of Murden. There was another of Melkin, which is another that's thought to be like inspired by the same stories and stuff. There's like there's shit named after Merlin all over the planet, like it's it's crazy. There's there's stuff in Ireland, Scotland, there's stuff in America. There are like play is in America that are there's like mounds. Have you seen Merlin's Mound? That shit is crazy America? No, I think that one is in Scotland. And uh, it's

It's like I've always wanted to go.

It's just which is it's everywhere that's like that's their thing in this town. It's literally Merlin. Everything is Merlin. They have pubs that are named after Merlin. The drinks in the pubs are named after Merlin. Like everything's about Merlin.

That's super cool.

Yeah.

It's also like did you see that video years ago in a small town in Alabama where there was this news report that there was a leprechaun Crichton Leprechaun.

No, my my cousins lived there.

Crichton.

Where's that they it's I think it's near Mobile, Alabama. I think it's a neighborhood. But there was some news report that someone saw a Leprechaun and then everybody's in on it.

I always wondered, is that where the movies? Is that where the inspiration for the movies came from? Guys? No, wait, when did that happen? When did the thing?

Like?

I think well that movie the the movies came out in the early two thousands. I'm pretty sure Leprechaun in the Hood is what we're talking about. For those uninitiated.

Sorry, by the way, my allergies are killing my throat. You feel like I get some water. You get some water right down there if you need it. Yeah, have you seen my lepren in the Hood? Alex, we're talking about the same thing.

No, No, have you seen the movie A leprechn in the Hood? Yeah, there's a movie called Leprechaun in the Hood.

The Crichton Leprechaun. They asked somebody to draw it and this is the drawing.

Amateur sketch.

They're like, yo, what we saw it in the trees. It's like the video of the unicorn, you know, like that. There's another one in the hood. I think it was maybe I think it was Georgia or somewhere. They're like the hood and they're like, we saw the unicorn. It was awesome.

My cousin took my brother when he went to go visit. He took my brother where they know, Yeah, the unicorn thing. They're like, this is the biggest thing that ever happened here, and.

It's the biggest thing that ever happened to him.

It's the biggest thing that's ever happened anywhere. Let's be honest. Nothing that we have proof.

It doesn't get bigger.

Drawing.

You saw the drawing that are you showing the camera? Yeah, that's right there, that's proof. That's the criton leprecaun I.

Mean, this is this is the biggest thing that's ever happened. We should just turn our show into a show about that. Reports where is it? Yeah, where is Marilyn out leprecaun In?

Yeah, but for real Leprechun would be a cool.

Episode too, But we need to do it for Saint Patty's Day.

There was a Yeah, that's a good point, which is now past.

Damn, it's kind of just happened, didn't it. We'll just record it now and wait till next year to release it.

Just put another one in the bank a year behind.

But oh my god, you just tripped me out so much. I just saw on my phone discord popped up leprechaun.

No.

I thought it was somebody in our discord talking about leprecauns. It was Alex putting it in as a topic. Just trip me out. That would have been funny. I've got a three tonight. Oh let's go.

Oh, there we go, there we go. It's uh yeah, it's it's it's really cool man. The There was a another perspective that I saw, that's like, what if Merlin was based on Druidic culture, right, what if he was a Druid? What if he was some high level initiate of Druid culture and we know, like based on history that basically there were four levels of member of Druidic society. You had like the prophets, the seers, the druids, and the bards.

I think, right, I think Merdin was considered to be a bard.

Ah yeah, that's right, that's right.

It was like he was a poet and a bard. And for those that don't know, the Druid that comes from Celtic or Gaelic Celtic, okay, Celtic, that's like ancient Celtic history and we know.

In history that the Roman Empire came and when they wiped out the Celts, they started with the Druid class because they knew that, like sure they had their kings, they had their warriors and all these warring tribes, but they knew that they all answered to the druids. The Druids were like literally the priests of society that everyone looked to for guidance and for answers. So literally, in history, they attacked Scotland and wiped out the Druids.

How they going to do that to all the fucking cool guys that can turn into bears and shit?

Well, I mean, yeah, that is one perspective.

I've played World of Warcraft, I've played Diablo, I've played video games before, and druids can turn into animals. I played dungeons with dragons.

But then the other perspective is, you know all the human sacrifice and the bones and the burial mounds.

And yeah, you know, but but you know, sometimes it's a necessary evil. If you want to turn into a bird or a deer or something, maybe sometimes you got to kill some kids.

I did accidentally condone sacrifice one time on a recent episode.

We do not we do not condone sacrifice on this show. We can it, we could, we we actively condemn it. I can't be clearer. I'm tired of saying it.

Yeah, we we do condemn it. There's evidence of us having said that we condemn human sacrifice.

You guys can keep asking as much as you want. I'm not tired of it.

I think it needs to happen every now and then. We just need to just.

To be clear, just to be clear, but just to remind people.

Yeah, yeah, well they keep asking, Yeah, they do, they do keep asking. I get it all the time. People ask me all the time, and the d MS, what do you think about sacrifice? Do you condemn it? Do you condone it? What do you think about it? I can't say it enough.

Real criminal offense is making both of those words so similar.

That's what I'm saying. Do because I accidentally said condone.

Oh it was leap day when I said condon Yeah, so it didn't count. No, it definitely didn't count.

Leap days aren't real.

It was a it was a it was a glitch man.

It was I think Merlin created leap days.

Damn. I was seen too far into the future that yo.

One thing I did not know that Merlin was associated with. That is really fun and cool. Uh, do you know that he's associated with the legends of Stonehenge. No, let me read it. It's so sick.

Yeah, I'm full disclosure. I had all these notes prepared and you have literally read everything off my screen.

I got plenty so I'm kind of like I got plenty more.

You know, I'm here to learn.

Welcome to the club. Yeah, this is actually I'm excited to learn. This is so everything you've read. Everybody listen to this ship. This is so sick. Okay, in the fifth century, amidst the war between the Saxons and the Britons, First of all, stop fighting for such a long time.

Everybody stop fighting, all of us. We could all be out here in crighton Alabama getting our minds and hearts together seeing Lecaus.

And I will say it explicitly, we do not condone war for hundreds of years. I won't say it again. Yeah, And you know, and nobody better ask either. If you ask me again, I'm gonna freak out.

It really just ruins.

You cannot use it as a as a landmark in history because it's so long. Yeah, it's like, oh, remember when we were fighting for literally five hundred years.

I wonder actually how long they fought?

That's five generations.

Could you get me a good solid figure on. Yes, it's the Saxons and the Saxophonians and the Brittonians.

Okay, so who are the Saxons.

I'm saying, That's what I'm saying. Who's the Saxons Anglo Saxon.

Germanic peoples whose name was given in the early Middle Ages to a large country, Old Saxony, Saxony, saxonya near the North Sea coast of northern Germania.

There's a bunch of German Catholics pretty much.

Yeah, pretty much married in to them.

Yeah, I know, dude.

In the Enemy of Merlin.

Well we're on the same side. I'm German German Catholic.

So you guys wiped out the freaking Druids. Man, Yeah, I did a service.

My ancestors were off on an island just worshiping a whole different pantheon and doing math and shit math a bunch of fucking Yorks, all right. So anyway, in the fifth century, amidst the war between the Saxons and the Britons, so much blood had been shed that a meeting was called to negotiate terms of peace between these two armies. Spoiler alert, it didn't work because they kept on fighting

That's what I was saying.

Salisbury steak, Salisbury steak, Salisbury Plaine, the steaks, you know what I'm saying. There.

This timeline from this very official looking website that just contains the timeline starts at four hundred and forty nine and ends at one thousand and sixty six.

Why are y'all doing fighting for that long?

Six hundred years?

That's yeah, six hundred years.

You don't want to kick it and chill, draw a picture, do a math now, that is think about okay, well, think about this.

Your great great great great great grandchild ends the war literally, dude, or throw another one on there, because not everybody lives to be one hundred, especially during wartime.

Jeez, it could be twelve.

Well, especially in the dark ages, you didn't have plumbing.

They live for like twenty years if they lived to max fifty. Now we're talking twelve generations of people. They didn't have one war. They didn't have anti bacterial hands, so.

They didn't They didn't have TV either. But that doesn't win wars.

Well, I mean it did extends your life. I mean, have sanitation and plumbing and you know, clean food. I mean, come on, man, I mean you're don't take Merlin to see that.

You can't be Merlin, dude. You're a Saxon, that's true. Well, I'm married a Saxon. Kind of like you're a Saxon by praxicy kind of.

Like how Uther for a night enjoyed? You know, a Saxon, dude, and look what came of it. Maybe I'm Uther fair fair enough, Maybe I'm Uther Pendragon. Maybe your jobs you literally are born and you have one of two jobs. Create a warrior, create another warrior, or be a warrior. Yeah, like does it go to war or make another warrior?

Six hundred years of war?

That is really I didn't know that, dude.

That's very So this is this is in the fifth century. So which is the six hundred four hundreds.

It goes back.

Listen, just like you know the twenty first century, it's two thousand and then this is in the first one hundred years of this war. They're trying to negotiate a peace agreement.

Dang.

The negotiations took place on Salisbury Plane in southern England, and this is crazy. This pissed me off, dude, just reading about it and in a feet of betrayal. So listen, they show up to this peace treaty. All these motherfuckers show up and they're like, hey, happy to meet you, Happy to meet you. My name is uh Aurelius Ambrosius the Third or what's.

The shitty one.

This is the shitty one. We call them the shitty one. Yeah, they show up. They're like, no weapons, you can't bring any weapons. They were checked like everything. They walk out onto this plane. This like neutral ground. They're gonna do this peace treaty. These mother fucking Saxons, dude, they smuggled knives in. No way, they smuggled knives in and they had a plan on a signal. They were all all the Saxons because they this is pretty cool. They met

When I was I'm just wondering how long it took for them to take their pants off and unsmuggle their knives.

It's like assassin's creed.

Yes, they all were instructed pull their knives, kill the guy to your left. All of the Britons at that meeting were stabbed brutally and killed.

So you know they bought another five hundred years of war.

Literally, yes, they they they did exactly that. I'll deal well well. A message was sent to a prince in exile in France, Prince Aurelius Ambrosius, a Briton, a British prince. He was an exile and frince. They sent him a message like Yo, they just fucking killed all our boys. What are we gonna do? His brother Aurelius, Ambrosius's brother none other than ooh thir Pin Dragon. So guess what. Uther sprung that man up out the jail cell and was like, we gotta go back home. We got to

He became wasn't the previous king like Vordikern or what?

Yeah, So Aurelius and Uther show up.

Aurelius became They were the princes, right, they were the princes.

Yes, they were the exiled princes. Aurelius was older, so he showed up and he's like the rightful ruler. Yeah, and everybody rallied behind him. He was apparently a great ruler. So Aurelius and Uther went on to win several men A victories over the Saxons. They basically showed up, whipped them into shape and started giving it to the Saxons.

They had that momentum, they had that yes, that had that fresh out jail moment.

Oh yeah, they had the rage, dude. Yes, And the whole time Aurelius was being counseled by our boy Merlin. So uh. And in a moment of reflection, they've they've seized control over the land, Salisbury Plane, the surrounding areas. They're like, they have a lot of momentum. They're they're winning the war. And in a moment of reflection, Aurelius he asked Merlin for a fitting way to honor all

Is that in Ireland?

It was, according to legend. But our boy magic that shit made all the rocks float, brought it to Britain, loaded it on the boat, brought it to Salisbury Plane and put it there himself. And then because they they buried all of the bodies in Salisbury Plaine already, they did that after everybody was slaughtered. Literally, the Saxons were just like, just bury them right here.

So can I get something straight here?

Yes? Yes, yes, yes, yes.

The battle is absolutely real.

That's what I'm saying most of it. But the Merlin stuff, people are like, no, yeah, I don't know.

The stories of Merlin are based on real history. But then the author Jeffrey of Monmouth like added Merlin. They just planted him into the story but like a custom character. Yes, all these people, they were all real. Yeah, this is like real history moregan. That's why I'm with you now, Yeah, that's why it's like a pseudo history type thing. But yeah, So the the story is, according to legend, that he

Wow, to honor all of those bodies.

So where a stone hinge Salisbury Plain. Yes, you know what I'm not looking forward to. But you know, we have quite a lot of UK listeners and I'm not looking forward to them laughing at how little we know.

Oh yeah, they're going to be like this is wrong, that's you're an idiot. Yeah, that's fine, you can.

Yeah we're not taught the ship in school.

Okay, No, No, we were taught World War two.

Yeah, we're taught freaking all that stuff.

All that stuff. Uh yeah, so what I couldn't tell you. I couldn't have either. I did my best. I did my best research.

I know they have a crazy festival there for the Solstice.

Yeah, Jenny's been there.

They'd be doing all kind of But you're telling me that they're just hanging out having a party on a burial ground.

This is what I'm saying, man, I'm you know. I look, I know we did the whole thing about who cares if it's real or not? But I believe it.

I'm starting to care. I'm starting to care if it's real. Which part do you believe?

Honestly, I think like Merlin was a real person, Yeah, I really do. In some capacity, even if his name wasn't literally Merlin, right, which we know that came later, But you know, maybe there was a real person. Yeah,

No, I I agree with what you're saying there, Like, even if he was not literally the person that is depicted, maybe there was not a person who was born of the name Merlin. The spirit of this, this being, this person had to exist, had to had to be attributed, someone had to do some of these feats.

Yeah, maybe it.

Was mythologized and he's using his you know, magical powers to lift these stones, like you know, maybe that didn't happen, but right, maybe there was some court magician who counseled these kings, and you know over time that the name was changed and it was exaggerated. But yeah, I mean, I'm with you there, there has to be some truth to this.

Yeah, there has to. So I have some prophecies, some of the popular prophecies of Merlin, and so the first rendition of Merlin, like like if you look as far as far back as you can, the earliest one is it's it depending on which historian you're listening to, Merden and Elkin we're kind of around the same time and in different locations. But this story is about Murden and yeah, so he was he was a prophet and a wild

Who Merlin is literally his name was translated from Yeah.

Oh, and the crazy thing is a lot of like historians and stuff, like they keep tabs on the the prophecies of Merlin and like apparently like to this day some of them could be could be what's the word I'm looking for, like interpreted as like still coming true to this day. Wow. Yeah. And they're all very abstract like vague. Yeah, and you know this is all written in Old English and whatever, like they're they're very abstract, like a shower of blood shall fall and dire famine

I think Gaul was the Germanic people were right. Yes, yeah, I remember that from that movie, the big movie The Gladiator.

Oh Gaul.

Were there a war with Gaul?

Yeah, Germans. The hedgehog will hide its apples inside Winchester and will construct hidden passages under the earth. Like A lot of these are very abstract, but when King John imposed English coinage on the Irish, for example, medieval chroniclers thought that Merlin's prophecied that the balance of trade shall be born in half, and the half that is left shall be rounded off, was fulfilled. That's something that happened

I love Pork.

P O. R. C.

K examines this manuscript. I love it and identify some other ways that medieval kings connected themselves to the prophecy rulers and histories continued to make these connections well into the early modern period. Even James the sixth said his coming had been foretold by Merlin when he took over the throne from Elizabeth the First, And that's like within our family's lifetimes. Like that, that is fucking crazy.

You know what else is crazy? King Henry the seventh, back in real medieval England. You can look this up. History Channel even did a bit on this, like trying to talk about was this real. What's the historical accuracy of this? He hired court genealogists to try to I'm not talking legend, this is real history. He hired court genealogists to try and trace his ancestral roots back to the lineage of King Arthur, because because he was a tutor, he was at this point, the Tutors were at war.

I come from King Arthur. And he was like trying to prove it for real. Whoa is that? Where we get the word tutor from t U d.

O R the Tutors. It's an ancient dynasty.

It could still be related. Maybe it could be.

Man, Okay, I have a I thought, maybe maybe we'll see the Crichton leprechaun.

Maybe if we hold out, hope, dude, we we'll see the Crichton Leprechawn. One day, let's all focus our intentions and energy on manifesting.

The be the craziest thing you've seen.

It wouldn't I had. I had a cool idea of how to finish up this episode, the original Grail prophecy heck by Melkin, which is one of the oldest depictions of Merlin.

And then I got one little thing that I forgot to say earlier too.

Okay, well, why don't you say it, and I'll wrap us up with the prophecy.

Something I came across was that the story of Merlin transforming Uther Pendragon into the Duke of Cornwall to go and to conceive with the Duchess of Cornwall for the night is similar to the myth of the Celtic or like Gaelic deity. I guess you could say Lug. We talked about him in the Halloween episode The God of Light, so you have this story where I.

Don't know if I remember talking about Lug.

He's the like, literally like the Jesus figure of Celtic mythology.

I was gonna say it sounds almost like a Jesus myth.

His parents are Ethneiu or Ethlyn, the daughter of the Fomorian leader Baylor, which I think the Fomorians were like the kind of evil gods or the evil Elms or something like that. And then Chian, I don't know how to say that, Cia in a member of the Tuatha dea de Non, which are like the gods. They're like the Olympus version of you know, the Celts, the race of the gods. According to the prophecy, Baylor, the daughter Okay so Baylor is the leader of the Fomorians. Baylor

Sounds likes me.

Well, it sounds like King Arthur, you know, having this mysterious birth born of deception and sneak sneaking into the Crystal Tower, or Ruther Pendragon, he literally sneaks into the Tower of the Cornwalls and pregnates her with Arthur and then dips same same. It's like maybe Jeffrey of Monmouth when he was writing the story or whoever wrote that version, was like, yeah, throw a little bit of the Celtic version, you know, add a little bit of the god of light into our their story.

Yeah.

Then giving a little bit of the sort of light.

You know, and the krichten Lep. Yeah, there we go sprinkled.

You know, he's cooking and he's taken all these different myths and he's sprinkling them in there.

Yeah.

You see this all the time in mythology and history, in like poetry, like the borrowing of the stories of other cultures, and like sprinkling it all together. Which one came first, It's it doesn't really matter. These are these are myths, and like the archetypal energy of these myths are the thing that's important, right, the core stories and morals of these these myths, that's what's important and like

You know what else. There's also a Temple of the Jedi.

Yeah, yeah, exactly, there's a whole dag Jedi religion, buddy, there is. They basically got their own Bible.

It's like you have their own just like religious exemption.

And honestly, I had of all the damn religions in the world, that's one I would follow.

Yeah, the Jedi.

Have you read their creed?

Yes, it's pretty cool.

The Jedi handbook, the Sith one, and then there's a Mandalorian one. There's like three main ones. I've read those. Yeah, dude, I'll be a Jedi. Hell yeah. Yeah, I don't even care if I make shift float. Yeah.

It's a real recognized religion.

Yes it is. And I'm you're talking to one right now.

Yeah, well, I mean I'm honored. I'm here to learn.

Let's let's do this Grail, this Grail prophecy. This is the original Grail prophecy written by Milkin. We've all heard of the Holy Grail Arthur and the Holy Grail davinc da Vinci code. There's many like interpretations of like what this symbolic means, YadA YadA. Yeah, it's in everything. It's all over the place, freaking Harry Potter everywhere. But this is the original prophecy. This is how it reads. And again it's very abstract, but it's poetry. It's it's beautiful,

I don't know.

For the adoring of a mighty virgin in his sarcophagus, two cruets white and silver filled with blood and sweat of the Prophet Jesus. When his sarcophagus shall be found entire intact in time to come, it shall be seen and shall be open unto all the world.

Thenceforth, nor water nor the dew of heaven shall faire the dwellers in that ancient isle for a long while before the day of judgment in Joseph fat, open shall these things be and declared to living men?

Amen, Amen, the Prophet Jesus. The switch, Well, like, how abstract is that. It's obviously describing the burial place. It's not describing the grail itself. But from all of that, these freaking people who decipher these poets and all this shit, were like, the cup is in there.

We gotta go get it. I gotta tell you something. So shout out to Molly Adler of Back from the Borderline. We did to collab with her show. She's a wonderful person and her husband, Yes, very wonderful, wonderful people, and we were talking and she is very fast. We made a joke on our show about I was like, you know, maybe you're the reincarnation of Amboleyn. I only say that because she told me that She's like, there's this joke I say all the time because she's so fascinated with

Yeah, super interesting. You know how Merlin died. That's how I've just put the pin in it.

We wouldn't need triple killed.

No, he wasn't triple killed, dude. I'm gonna start this by saying, do you know what this is like? In all of the Merlin myths. This is the it's the same, it's consistent all. Do you know what Merlin's one weakness was? What it was the honeys.

I knew it, dude, I was gonna say women.

It was. It was the honeys like master and he specifically liked the what do they call him, the like the bold like like bold, like you're talking bold and brass. What's the there's a term for it, the like foxy ladies. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, outgoing individuals. Oh it's anyway, dependent, strong willed? No no, no, no, no, no no no.

He liked him bold, did he?

Yeah? Not bold diddy fim fey twe What does that mean? What does that mean? Feel or the what let's let's look up the definition of fatale. Those are like the bold ladies almost, I'm still unclear. They're like the man eaters, the vamps, the succuby, yes, succuby mermaids, sirens.

Sirens, okay, okay, sirens.

So he was a simp, yes, yes, yes, exactly.

He was an archetype dude.

He was an incel simp. Uh yeah, like that. He like the seductive, mysterious man eater.

Like I command all time in space and he you know, he's like light Yeah, yeah, lighting bulls coming out of his fingertips and he takes one look at the lady and he's like, oh Fuck's.

Like he just crumbles. Dude.

I'm telling you, though, if I heard a siren, I would straight jump off that boat.

You'd be all in it.

I'll be diving in quick, I'd be I'm out here telling people I'd love to be a pint to make a good pirate.

But man, it just takes.

It.

Would take one siren dog, just.

One and he's out. He's living underwater for the rest of his life. But yeah, as the legend goes, it was a fairy, the lady of the lake, and she got him. She got him. He sealed him up in a in a tomb forever. That's why I like the Merlin's Mound and Merlin's Tomb and Merlin's Hill and all these places claim that that's where he's sealed up. Wow, the lady got him in the end.

That's crazy. So hypothetically he could be unsealed.

Hypothetically he could be unsealed.

Yeah, he's like a frozen frog.

He's like the avatar.

Dude, I wonder like and when the world needed a move. Yeah, I feel like. I feel like if we were to unseal Merlin and unleash him back upon the world.

Oh, he couldn't handle it. First order of business, he'd be on only fance exactly. He would not be able to handle it. He could, he gets sealed in the internet. Yeah, he'd never get off his phone. Him, he would never be able to get off his phone.

The Crichton Leprechawn could be dancing right in front of him and he wouldn't even care. Man, he'd be too busy glued to his screen.

And the new Lady of the Lake is Kim Kardashian, and she would just steal his ass up in the Internet and he'd be done forever. Yeah, he couldn't handle it. He could, no way, You're too many fings towels out there.

He can hold time and space in his hands, he can. He can master the elements and hold all the secret knowledge of the universe. But you know, a little bit of temptation and he's it's all fucked.

All right, that's it, that's Merlin, that's our boy. Hey, love y'all, Bye guys, Bye guys.

Weird things happen in the backyard and leftsoe house hit.

Got so weird. Come and clu like my sling on the inside of it. No one not man, Wow, let's come for I ever thought side ain't happy