102: Healing Your Inner Darkness w/ CiiCii - podcast episode cover

102: Healing Your Inner Darkness w/ CiiCii

Jul 05, 20231 hr 5 min
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Episode description

This week, the guys welcome CiiCii from the That Bitch is Positive podcast. They discuss entity attachment, spirit guides, positive spirituality, shining light into your inner darkness and more.

Transcript

Weird things happened in the weird weird weird Wow. Welcome everyone to bled, So said, so we are embodying our positive bitch selves today. We're gonna talk about the divine feminine. We're gonna talk about so many divine things. We're probably gonna blow your mind. Welcome, Welcome. That was a fantastic intro. I gotta give that around of applause. That was better than we've ever done every intro ever, So little backstory this, this is just to

me, it's so funny. So I have been reaching out to so CC, the host of that Bitch is Positive, our guest, and then obviously us. We are hosted by a parent company, or a subsidiary company of iHeartRadio called Spreaker, And I was just reaching out to Spreaker's marketing management team, like, is there anything we can do to you know, can you

put us out there? Can you run any ads on us, anything we can do to grow, like we want to push past, you know, our plateau here, And they were like, you know, actually, I think it'd be really cool if I pitched you guys to CC and then y'all did an advertisement for each other. So I was like Okay, cool went listen to an episode of CC show, and then Spreaker hit her up had the same instruction, you have to listen to an episode of our show.

And we went down the rabbit hole of just loving each other's content. And here we are and we reached out to each other and now we're friends and you know, doing the thing. So, without further ado, CC is probably and I mean this in the kindest way possible, probably the most positive bitch I've ever met. And I just really appreciate your angle on spirituality and

like whatever, you know, whatever you want to go into. I'm I'm well, I have a I have a quick question, if you don't mind um, and if you can just give me, uh the closest you can get to a definitive answer. But what would you say is the sexiest hermetic principle? That is? I love it, I love it, I'm all about it. I really love the law of vibration and understanding that everything is

vibration. And the reason I say that's the sexiest one is because if you're putting out sexy thoughts, sexy intensions, and you're embodying your sexiest self, you're going to attract sexy circumstances, and that is what I'm all about. That's the sexiest one. That's facts. That's amazing. Okay, I have a I have a convection. I hate to admit it, but I just today listen to your podcast for the first time, but I have I have to say I am immediately a lifelong fan, Like for real, it's so

good. It's actually like so fantastic. And I was like scrolling through the titles like Okay, let's find one to watch or whatever. And the one that I saw was how the Seven Hermetic Laws Can Make You Hotter, and that title I was like, yes, I'm so in uh. And it was funny too, because one of the first things you talked about was, um, I don't know if it was your dad or somebody that you know. His dad is a land It was into like really like landscaping to look

nice and stuff. Well, that's my job right now is landscaping. And I was doing that when I just happened to listen to that episode. Yeah, that was a crazy synchronicity. That's so cool. Yeah, that is my dad. He's obsessed with the landscaping looking perfect, perfect, And that's really funny. What a synchronicity. I like that. That is definitely not a coincidence. Yeah. No, I immediately fell in love with the show.

It is so funny. It's Oh. I also have to ask, is that your music in the beginning of the Yeah, that's really Yeah, that's me singing, and I wrote that song. I'm also a singer songwriter. I do many things. Yeah, that's unreal because I'm not making this up. This is not bullshit. The first thing I thought when it came on was did she seriously license an Ariana Grande song? Like I swear to God? Like? I was like, this is obviously Ariana Grande, right,

But everyone thinks that that's so funny. I think when you go higher in tone, all the voices start to blend together. And so I've gotten that my whole entire life. But that is my song. I make music when I when I want too, and I just put it out there for anyone who wants to listen. But when I made Angel Enter, I had no idea that was going to one day be part of a podcast intro outro.

But when I wanted to start my podcast, I thought, well, I need an intro song, and then I just used that one and that was it. It's amazing. It's seriously so thank you, thank you. I didn't even see I had a different when I when I first started listening to your show, it was like I was told to listen to specific episodes. My mindset was like taking notes, like I got to make an ad, you know, like we had to do for each other. I had

to record an ad like I had a different mindset. But now I definitely got to go back and peepe the song, like, I don't know how that went over my head. Is it on like Apple Music, Spotify or anything. It's on everywhere. I have other songs too, and I really it's funny because I've always felt like I had the same purpose, which was to help other people heal. I originally thought that was going to be purely

through music. So I made music based on my own emotional experiences to help other people feel what they needed to feel so they could release it, said of it becoming stagnant and then turning into a secondary issue or illness down the line. And that journey ended up leading me somewhere else where. I became a life coach and did content creation. But it's still a part of my overall branding. I guess you could say, wow, that's beautiful, thank

you. Well, Nick, you never said, like, what's your most sexy hermetic principle? Oh? I mean, come on, it's it's as above so below. It's gotta be right. I mean, look, the law of vibration. I love it. I love it. That's that's sick. But I don't know, I like I like the ring of as above so below that's pretty hype. So after our phone conversation and then we had been texting each other our crystals, you know, showing all our bizarre crystals.

I had to totally drip out for this episode. So you're not ready for this. I had to go. We were literally we were. When we first met. We were talking about, like, you know, how how people get so obsessed with these things but then don't like do the work. So I was like, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta look as ridiculous as possible. At the crystal ring, at the crystal bracelets. I love it. Crystal Buddhist beads, I'm due. Well, oh I'm

wearing one around my neck. You can see here, like the little Buddhist thing. I got one. Okay, we're all. We're all, we're all prepared. Ye. So, and i'd like to um go, And I know you already told me this story, but obviously the listeners don't know the story. I'd like to go in to your name. Okay, So it really is my birth story, and I have it as a running joke because I say that I've been fighting for my life since before I even was

born. And you'll understand what I mean when I tell you this story. I didn't even tell you. Totally forgot about this aspect. But there's a whole number aspect of this story that I forgot to mention. But it starts off with my mom was thirty three years old and she at this point had two miscarriages, and then she got pregnant again with me. I don't like to say accident, I say surprise. And she was just so gung ho

on having this baby, which was eventually me. And she went to the doctor and the doctor basically told her there's no way you're having this baby. She was having issues that would cause someone to lose a baby, and she basically said, I refuse, I refuse to not have this baby. I need to have this baby. I cannot lose another one, and the doctor was really really set on telling her, you're not having this baby. So the doctor actually went ahead and scheduled her to have a DNC, which basically

wipes out the womb. So if she was to go into for that appointment, she would have wiped me out. I would have been not alive for sure. So yeah, she ended up purposely missing the appointment, and they actually called her and they said where are you. Why I haven't you shown up? And she told them, no, like I said, I refuse to have this DNC, I refuse to lose this baby. I'm having this baby. So she told them, I'll come in when all of those machines

are turned off. When you can guarantee me that no machine is going to touch me, I will come into the office. So I think it was after like five o'clock, six o'clock, all the machines would be off. She goes in and she swears before the machine could even touch her stomach, she could hear my heartbeat. And she starts screaming, crying, oh my god, there's a heartbeat. I didn't lose the baby. She's still here.

She's still here. I'm going to have this baby. And the doctor still was almost getting stressed out and telling her, look, don't get excited. You're not have this baby. There might be a heartbeat right now, but there's way too much blood. It's not happening. And so my mom goes back home and her friend brings her this portrait of our Lady of Guadalupe, which is the Blessed Mother, and it's not a painting. I can't describe what this portrait is made ahead of, but it is the Blessed Mother.

And she looked at this portrait every single day, and she said, to the Blessed Mother, if you allow me to have this baby, I will name her after your son. And I don't even think she knew the gender of me yet, so she said, whether it's a girl, boy, I'm going to name her after your son, after Jesus Christ. And every single day she literally didn't move. She prayed to this portrait, She prayed to the Blessed Mother, and she pretty much manifested me being born.

And on the day that I was going to be delivered, there was a nurse that came in and she this is so weird because I've never heard this happen to anyone in my whole entire life. The nurse was asking, oh, what are you going to name your baby? And my birth name is Christa. I go by CC, but my birth name is Christa. And my mom told this nurse, I'm going to name her Christa. And the nurse said, you know what, I don't really like that name. You

know that that's not really that's not really a modern name. And she said, if you're going to do that, at least do it with a K, because that's more modern. And my mom said, no, I have a promise with the Blessed Mother that I'm going to name her C H R I S T A. That is what I promised, and that's what I'm gonna do. And with that, my mom said, it was almost unhuman the way this nurse reacted. She just like a robot, turned around and

just swooshed out of the room and went down the hallway. And my mom was so weirded out by the situation and how she moved that she literally got out of the hospital bed and ran behind find her. Looked in the hallway and she was gone. She could not find this woman anywhere. She asked other people, who was that nurse? With the brown hair she described her. No one knew who that was. They said that nurse wasn't even a worker there. In general, they've never heard of her. They didn't know

who she was. And so my mom ended up giving birth to me on one one one eleven at one forty four, which I now understand our synchronicity and angel numbers. And she conceived me at thirty three years old. And later on, this was only a couple of years ago. She was telling this story to someone who was very spiritual, and the lady who's very spiritual asked, my mom, did you see that nurse's feet? Did she have feet? And my mom said, you know what, I didn't look,

but now that you say that, I don't think she did. And the way she moved was so unhuman and I've never experienced anything like that before. And so she's so thankful she didn't understand this part of spirituality back then,

because she said it would have scared her to death. And now she can handle it because she's much deeper than her own spirituality and we kind of lean on each other for spirituality, and now we can both look at that and be like, oh, that wasn't a human that was some lower entity trying to sway whatever this plan that me and my mom have together was trying to sway that original plan, and that is how I got to planet Earth.

And yeah, wow, that's a lot to unpack. I mean, dude, like, you know, she told me this on the phone, and I was like, what, Like immediately, you know, all these thoughts are going through my head like it's it's some spiritual force. Was Oh yeah, whether it was an evil entity trying to get your mother to not name you that so that those vibrations wouldn't be put on you, or maybe it was a test yeah missed to the mother. Yeah it was a test.

I don't know, but she passed. If it was a test, yeah, you know, but that that that means something pretty significant to me. When you said, um, I feel like my whole life, since before I was born, something was trying to prevent you from getting here. My dad's always told me that. I think my dad even wrote that in his

book he always felt like something was trying to kill him. Because I literally feel the same exact why, Yeah, that's that's like that that the second you said that, I was like, oh my god, Like we really are meeting for a reason, and and and there's a lot of like synchronicities between how we met and this coming together. And you know, I do have to say your your Instagram or your Instagrams, because you have two of them. Yes, I think the content is so it's just so well executed.

It's it's it's just so awesome what you're doing. There's there's nothing I love more than someone like you and the many others that we've come across who are trying to use their knowledge of spirituality in these strange, bizarre things to try to like enrich other people's lives with positivity. And you know, it's

just what you're doing is so awesome. We thank you. You do it in kind of like a similar way to like our show, you know you honestly, yeah, you do it in a way where you're like this translator where you take this like very high concept, kind of confusing sometimes stuff and you relate it to like a very specific, like kind of group of people in a very comfortable way, like where it's easy to understand. You know, it's fun. Thank you. Yeah, it's fun. It's funny,

and it's not intimidating. It's whimsical. Yeah, thank you. You know, I think it was during COVID that I really solidified what I wanted to do, Because during COVID, well, my parents thought I was crazy, but I was printing out that government gateway document, highlighting it, understanding what manifestation was, obsessed with doctor Stephen greer ufo, all these multidimensional beings. And I would sit my parents down and just like a podium read to them

everything I was learning. And they were like, we're worried or getting too weird, and I said, oh no, honey, I'm just getting started. I knew from that point, I was like, there's no way that people like me, girls like me my friends are going to go to go dot com and print out these articles and highlight them and read quantum physics textbooks and the law of one. So you know what, I'm going to be the one to do that, and I'm going to translate it into a language

they can understand because this information is priceless. I mean, it changed my life. I know it can change other people's lives too. That's yeah, you're you're translating it for the girlies. Yeah. Literally, we're like we're like translating it for like the dudes who like anime and like stuff like it's it's so funny. When I was listening to your show today, I was I got this overwhelming vibe, like it's the same thing. You're like our

Sisters show. Yes, you're you're literally like our Sisters show. And another weird synchronicity is like you're the creator of your show and you make music and we do that too. It's so weird. Oh yeah, our our music for the podcast, it's all made by Nick. But also I don't know because we follow each other on Instagram. Now, I don't know if you've caught wind of this or have really understood what I've been posting, but we

have a very heavy metal band together. Oh I think you've actually mentioned that to me. That is really funny. That opposite of your music. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's definitely different, but hey, it's all positive vibes variety. Yeah, yeah, no, I have the same vibe. Nick. I was like, you know, put onto your show by Spreaker. I listened and they and by the way, they had me listen to the Divine Feminine episode, So that was the first one I heard, and I was like, oh my god, like she gets it, she gets

it. I'm just listening to the show, like I have to meet her, Like Jenny, I have to reach out to her following on Instagram. It took me a while to reach out because you know, just life gets in the way. And then you and then you after I followed you and then you started following me. You reached out to me, and I'm telling it's happening, like you messaged me. I've been meaning to me message her. You know, there's other guests we've been booking, and you know,

things going on and which is total synchronicity. And I had the same vibe

like this is like these shows like have a very similar energy. So yeah, it was after I listened to the podcast episode where you were reading the transcript from one of your dad's past life or just a regression I'm a hypnosis to understand what he experienced, and when he was talking about the Divine Mother, I started crying because that was something I've been feeling again since COVID, and that whole whirlwind was happening on planet Earth, that the Earth was shifting,

that the collective consciousness was shifting, and that it's almost like the Earth is going through a dark night of the soul and unraveling all of these energies that are too violent or just too in our wounded masculine And when I heard someone else validate that, I just got full body goose bumps started to cry. It was such a confirmation for me. And that's why I said to myself, I need to reach out to this human being because this is special

to me. This is someone who understands it. And when you're going out into the world, not everybody does. So when you find those people, you kind of want to make them like your family for sure. Yeah. That means a lot to me too. There needs to be like and there is. There is this like big support system. It's like a big net of support with experiencers or or with people who are interested in this, this these sort of subjects. Like there's like this net of support and it's a

very safe space most of the time. Yeah, most of the time there, but yeah, I feel like people like us, you know, whether whether it's people like me who grew up having traumatizing, you know, paranormal experiences, or as people like you, all of you who have had a mix of not only experiences but also just like a natural interest to these kinds of subjects, or just people out there who just like reading about spiritual stuff

and they have a level of belief somewhere higher or lower than where any of us sit. I just think in general, anybody with an inclination towards this kind of knowledge and subject are undergoing some form of spiritual awakening. Yeah, and like I think it's really happening. I do. I think it's happening now. And you know it's there's a reason that we're seeing all this UFO

stuff on the news. Well, it's because they're trying to make they're trying to level the playing field to where everybody on planet Earth is talking about UFOs and the fringe and the beyond. You know what's really out there. All those roads lead down to the bottom, which is the conversations that you and I and Nick and Alex are having right now, all this spiritual stuff.

But something's happening. There's a shift happening. And I didn't tell you this on the phone either, Cec. You held you know, of course, not on purpose, but you held the numerological significance for me. I think you're gonna like this one what my dad has taught me since I was a kid, probably the most important thing that still to this day, you know, turning thirty and two months and he still beats this into my brain since I was like thirteen, fourteen years old. Be positive, be positive,

have positive thoughts. He told me a few weeks ago. We were hanging out and he was just getting real deep with me, and he's like, you know, the only way that I survived all of this stuff. And you'll you'll see some stuff in the books you see this like, oh my

god, Like, how can one human being go through all this? You know, being shot when he was ten years old, and dying, being pronounced dead so many different times, having four or five extreme near death experiences, and you know, his wife dying in his arms when he was like nineteen years old, all these traumatic circumstances, and he told me the only way he survived all of it was just always visualizing the outcome being positive.

You know, it's so important because we are both broadcasters and receivers of energy and whatever we are broadcasting, most of the time, that's what we're going to receive. And I think that a lot of people don't realize it, but they're so afraid of Oh I don't want to be cursed, or oh I need this evil eye or this or that. We're cursing ourselves because we are the ones talking negatively about ourselves most of the time. Our inner critic

is on twenty four seven. We are the ones just making jokes about how we're not good enough, how we're not pretty enough. We are the ones who are cursing ourselves. And as soon as we do that, and by cursing ourselves, I just mean talking negatively about ourselves or thinking negatively about ourselves or the world, we open the door to more negative energy to come into

our ric fields and attach onto us. It's that easy. We're living in an energetic universe and we don't need to understand and for example, gravity, for gravity to be at work in our life, whether I like it or not, if I step off a cliff, I'm gonna fall. So whether I like it or not, believe it or not think about it or not. If I am thinking negatively about myself or the world, that is the dorm opening, and I'm inviting in negative energy, which is entities, into

my oric field. And if you have a thought, for example, that you're like I don't understand I can't stop thinking negative about this concept or this subject or myself. Most of the time, it's not you who is the originator of that thought. It's that you're receiving a thought from a negative entity that's just stuck in your energetic field. And I think that we need to

stop you blaming everyone else, looking at everyone else. We got to start focusing on ourselves here, because a lot of the time we are the perpetrator of our own bad news. It's like, what you're saying is things that we talk about on the show and in some manner all the time. It's things we believe, but when I hear it from you, it just hits home. It just makes so much sense. Well, I'm happy to hear that, but it's just I think it's it's so important that we realize that.

And that's why I made that Bitch is positive. I mean, bitch stands for babe and true connection with herself and being positive. It doesn't mean that we're having this false positivity when we have a negative emotion, release it, because emotion is meant to be in movement. It's meant to be like water, have a wave, let it go out. So it doesn't mean we're having this false positivity all of the time. But we're connected to ourselves. So when we feel that negative feeling, instead of harping on it,

instead of spiraling about it, we release it. We cry it out, we scream into a pillow, we do a workout, cherk on the wall. If that's how you want to release it. I don't really gett younger year. You mean like a month ago last time I work, that's probably like twenty Okay, yeah, I do be tworking on presently. Twing Way. It's a great way to release energy. If you think about dogs, you ever seen two dogs play together and then they run away from one another,

The first thing they do is shake out their bodies. So if you are having a negative, I don't know, argument situation with another person, the first thing you want to do afterwards is twork it out, release it out. I'm telling you it makes such a difference, and that way you're cleaning your slate, so then you can think of a better feeling, thought,

or emotion. I've had some people tell me that what they they'll they'll physically jump up and down, like just flushing out negative and that's been proven too, that this is radinhole. NASA did some studies because they wanted to find out what was like the most efficient extra size that they could have astronauts do for their bone density and their heart health, you know, like cardovascular

type fitness training for astronauts. And they found that like rebounding, like you know the little rebounder trampolines, they had them do like thirty minutes of exercise on that or something like that, and they found that any sort of activity that's repetitive jumping up and down, yeah, fully flushes the lymph nodes and just like overtime detoxes the body. And like, there's something to what you're saying. I mean, I think it's literally flushing out negative energy from the

body. Yeah. I was in a meditation once and I was asking my spirit guides or angels, whatever you want to call it. I was telling them, how can I release the trauma? A lot of women specifically have trauma in their hip area, and I asked them how do I release that energy because I'm not really sure. I don't think sit ups are doing it.

And they showed me a picture of a hula hoop and I said, oh, hula hoop, and literally every single night I do like thirty minutes of hula hooping because if you think about it, it's like EFT emotional freedom tapping. You're tapping on your sacrel and solar plexus and repeatedly tapping on it is releasing the energy stored in there. So if you have sexual trauma or any sort of trauma with your feminine energy, doing hula hoop is going to

release that. I call it hula healing. It's like I'm asking about it, but it really does amazing things. You just blew my mind. Another major synchronicity because we actually just booked a guest, a man a friend of my dad and I by the name of doctor Larry Burke, and he's going to come on the show in about a month and he actually wrote a book on EFT tapping. It's fantastic. And when you do EFT tapping, they mostly focus on the face, the different meridians on the face, the color

bone underneath your armpit, and the top of your head. But they usually don't do EFT on your actual body or your larger trauma. Does it on the head, Yeah, yeah, he doesn't. That's what most will do. They do it on the head, the face. And when I saw the hula hoop, I was like, this is like EFT, but for my hips, my stomach, the bottom part of my body, and it does the same thing. It helps you release that energy and it's I think it's very special. So if anyone has trauma that get a hula hoops,

that's brilliant. That's super helpful. I like you said, I mean a lot of women suffer that similar type of trauma. So like you're potentially helping a ton of people by spreading that information. That's so interesting, I hope. So. I mean, I think my spirit guides every single day because they've really give me so much information. It's it's not something I would think

of. It's not possible for me to know certain things. But they tell me and I listen and that and I take whatever they tell me and I give it to other people. Even the other day, I found this really helpful. I think everyone. I don't think it's just women anymore. I used to, but I think everyone struggles with their soul body connection and really connecting to your physical body. If you think about it, if we have

all these past lives, it means we're in many different bodies. If we're actually a spiritual being having a temporary earthly experience, we're more so in alignment with a lighter frequency, not such dense energy. So it makes sense that we're going to have a bit of trouble when we are connecting with this dense physical three D body. And I was asking my spirit guides help me understand, you know, why am I in this body? Why is someone else

in a different body? And what they showed me is they took me to a department store like a Macy's or Bloomingdale's, and instead of their being closed, everywhere there was bodies on hangars. And it sounds gory, but it wasn't. It was like, oh, you could purchase this one or you could purchase that one, and yeah, and they were showing me the different bodies and each body had a tag and it was a big tag. But the tag is essentially had the positive side effects and negative side effects that each

body had the potential of aligning with. So you know, one body could have five possible illnesses during its lifetime that it could align with. Here are the strengths, here the weaknesses, And the biggest part of the tag was the lesson you were going to learn from this body, And they were showing me the reason why I picked this certain body was because I had to learn balance and self discipline and mostly balanced, which is something I don't like,

so it makes sense why I'm being forced to learn it. And they showed me we pick our bodies as a teacher as a tool to help our soul grow and evolve, and that to me really helped me gain a better connection with my body. I think we're so focused on how can I look like this, how can I attract a significant other, and we're missing the point. We're missing that we aligned with this body. We chose this body as a teacher to help us learn, develop and grow. Oh, it's much

more than we think that is happening during this earthly experience. And I think some people would say, well, I would never choose this body with this illness or that illness. But to our soul's point of view, they're thinking, oh, this is just an earthly experience. This happens within the blink of an eye internity. Yeah, it's so different. Yeah, that's that's so wild. I've I've read that that like pretty much exact same concept in

like ancient mystic texts and stuff like that. Like, it's so cool that you were shown that in like a modern context, I would understand. Yeah, how it describes it in the Tibetan Book of the Dead. Tell us what I'm thinking of. It probably is, um, it's a little different, but it's it's it's similar enough, a little bit similar enough to where

I believe the truth of what you're saying, you know. Uh. The Tibetan Book of the Dead describes that in between live you watch like basically, I mean, they don't have this word back then, but like you basically watched like slide shows and you pick you watch slide shows of like couples getting it on, and you pick which parents are going to be the one that you're born from. I like your version a little better yet cooler. Yeah, for sure, it's more hip to modern times. Yeah. I have

a follow up question with about your spirit guides. When was the first time that you communicated with your spirit guides? Oh? It was yeah, okay, So it was a little scary to me at the time because I had no idea what was happening. I was actually sleeping, but I was going through the toughest time of my spiritual awakening essentially, and that was the beginning dark Knight of the soul, isolation and going through a break up, graduating

college. It was everything at once, and I was really almost screwing at them to connect with me. And I didn't know about meditation and all the things I know now. This was the very beginning. And I was, however, creating music and that was the first thing I was ever drawn to. And so it was, you know, three am, and I wake up and I hear this translucent voice saying right right, and I'm thinking,

what are they talking about? It? To me, it sounded like the Beyonce song like to the left to the left, but to the right to the right. And I was like, I don't know what that means. I don't understand what to do with that information. Yeah, I was like, and who also said that? By the way, because what just happened? And I was so scared. I still to this day, I'm not a fan of the dark. I sleep with the night light in my hallway and anyway, I just forgot about it in that moment. Five minutes later,

I started to write a song in my notes. When I went back to sleep, and then I woke up the next morning. I was brushing my teeth and it occurred to me, Oh my god, right right, not the directional work, but like write it down, write it down, saz or write it down. And so that was my first connection. And

once that happened, I was like, I want more. And then the second one was crazy because I was doing a meditation outside and I was finally getting into the groove of it. It was one of those days where I was having monkey mind, just thinking about a bunch of different things, and my dog happened to be barking and it just disrupted my meditation. So I got up. I paused the video and I was like, Max, stop barking, I'm meditating. I was like, what are you looking at?

It relaxed, and I was outside and it was dark, so I was a little like creeped out and wanted to take a check. I sit back down and I look at the screen. I was listening to a YouTube video meditation and I always have subtitles on because my hearing is just not one hundred percent. And even though I wasn't looking at the me meditation, my subtitles are still on because I always have it on And in the subtitle it said Hi, I'm Mark, and I'm like, what, I know, who's

telling you this? And I reversed the video like twenty seconds and I'm waiting for the woman in the meditation to say, Hi, I'm Mark, and she doesn't say it, but yet I see in the subtitles, Hi I'm Mark, and I'm like, what, how is this thing? And then I went to a reiky session and the reiki master asked me, Who's Mark? Is there? More? No? No, that was it? And then the YouTube video. I was like, you know, that's cool, like I believe you, but my brain is like, well, you know,

they messed up subtitles all the time. But the reky thing is like, come on, yeah. That that confirmed it for me too, because I I thought so too. I was like, ah, it's just a subtitle and you know whatever. But when she said it, my jaw just dropped because I was like, oh, so this is real? Then yeah?

Yeah, And that is what started my connection to them. And something that I've learned along my journey is that as you grow in your own spiritual journey, you actually get assigned different spirit guides for different moments in your life, and Mark was one of my beginning spiritual guides. He's not one of

mine anymore though. I've now aligned with high vibrational guides, and I love Mark and I miss Mark, but that is part of the journey, and that's something they told me, so I wouldn't be upset or anything like that, but it's part of the journey. So what do you think spiritual guides are like? Like, literally, I think they're just it's just energy basically, but they're very, very high in vibration. So to me, spiritual

guides are in energy and entity that's very high in vibration. They have an amazing understanding of not only your personal journey and your lifetime, but life overall. They can understand the past, the present, and the future. I personally believe that spirit guides can be a loving ancestor, they can be an

archangel, they can be different masters. I guess you could think of it like this, if I wanted to really pursue becoming a musician, a spirit guide that would then be assigned to me is someone who's also a musician to help me through And something that I've done when I became a life and energy coach, there was a lot of new things I had to learn, and I would just ask them, you know, sign me a spirit guide who understands this, so they can help me understand it better. And that's something

I always do. I think it's something that we should all do. But at the end of the day, they're spiritual beings who want to help us. They're literally just love and light and positive energy, and some of them are masters in certain subjects and then you can call on them to help you understand that subject. Yeah, wow, that's profound. I like that. It's like, you know, I definitely believe in angels or a lot of people. This is coming from someone who grew up as a subject in the

uful world. Like I've noticed a lot of people get offended by the word angel. It's too religious for them, and that's fine. Like to me, angel doesn't have to be so religious. To me, it just means like there are beings that come from beyond. They always look like light when I see them and the people around us, and they're they're helping out,

you know. Like I definitely believe in angels. I definitely believe that there are higher entities that come back and guide us and we don't always necessarily see them. Sometimes it's like thoughts, or it's like that whisper that is from your conscience, or you know, like it just resonates with me. Yeah, I agree. I don't have any problem with the word angel because I

think in a way they are angels. And how someone wants to use our man made language to describe something that our man made made language can never truly describe doesn't bother me. Like we we can only point to the truth, we can't even vocalize it. I don't believe growing up in the UFO my dad and I always say the UFO world. It's like how we describe the

people out there who are like fanatical about UFO knowledge. Everybody's talking about it now, but it wasn't like this back in two thousand and eight, twenty nine, ten, etcetera, etcetera, Like when our documentary first came out and like not everybody was talking about aliens. It's a very niche group of people that would reach out to us on Facebook or you know, just like

online, people that weren't even accepted day to day in their communities. But it was a following, it was a thing, and it's it's very very scientific, atheistic, no spirituality. You know, it's like super fringe. It's all part two. The Martian and and Omega zendon B who comes from you know, the Karelian, Karelian couger from then they have all these names. I mean, I swear to God, like I'm making stuff off, but like really that's how it is. And my dad came out talking about

angels and like we were mocked. We were like we were we were not treating worse, worse than mocked, honestly, Like oh yeah, yeah, I'm like that's that's you know, it doesn't matter. All that's old history. But my point is I've I've just I've noticed that there has been a pushback to to the word angel in these communities. And I think, you know, we call it what it is. Yeah, yeah, I think for me growing up, I went to Catholic school then a Jesuit college,

and my mom was talking about angels. Oh my god, since I could remember, I mean she since, I mean, I would be in my room and she's like opened the door to Jesus, let him in, and I was like, who coming in my room? Get him out? Yeah, boys, the door is blocking him I think you could probably get through it. Every religious classic she ever taught, she's like opened the door to

Jesus. But the one thing she would always do. Her class always loved her because she would tell angel stories to everybody and even to me growing up. And that's why I've been so receptive to angels and angel guidance and spirit guides. I use them interchangeably. I don't care. Yeah, if you're helping me, I love you. That's great. Yeah, that's what I think. I don't really care, you know. So it was just I've

always been receptive to it, and I think that I don't know. I think people just get so lost in the three D sometimes and it really can limit you from going beyond it. Maybe people are scared, or it's new, or it's weird. But I think if we can just let go a little bit of our egoic mind trying to process everything and put it in its neat and tidy folder, we can actually gain so much more information. How do you suggest we do that? Definitely by being curious instead of thinking that

we already have the answers. I think that there's this whole thing where you can either think you have this mastermind, and you know everything already and you know how to connect the dots. But I really think the best mindset is a beginner mindset, and that's what I like to always have. I'm always learning something new, and there's so much more that I have no idea about than I know. There's so much more for me to learn that I'm just

scratching the surface. And I think that if we can instead go into rooms having our mind a little bit cracked open with curiosity. You don't have to agree with them, but at least being curious that maybe something else could be true, maybe I don't know it all yet, and we can unattach from our fears. I think that's how we can do it, simply curiosity. I mean, I think this is so basic, But I think about me.

After I went through a breakup. I was super codependent. I had no identity besides being a girl friend, and I had to then become curious about my own physical self. I'm like, who am I? What am I supposed to do with my life? I had a try yoga, I tried reading new types of books, and because I was open to having curiosity, I was able to discover and create a new beginning. But if I wasn't curious, I would still basically have no identity and just have latched onto

some other guy whoever was knocking at my door. But curiosity opens a door to yourself rather than just having to attach onto a new institution, a new guy, a new idea. So curiosity I like that. It's also like very empowering. I feel like, you know, just being online, you know generally and sort of keeping tabs on, like spiritual things, how people post about it, people that follow us, falling back, or you know,

just people I followed. In general, I've noticed a vibe in the spiritual community that is can sometimes be pretty dark and pretty perverse, like there's no consequences to our actions, just you know, like nihilistic. Yeah, and like that's that's something I really appreciate about your angle. It's like, you know, stop the stop the victim mentality, do the work. Yeah. To me, you know, I had someone comment that I was like guilty women or something, and to me, it's like, I don't see

it that way. I said, Okay, you can perceive it however you wish. I perceive this as I'm taking back my power and if I take total responsibility over my life. I can change it because I know if I got myself here into a situation I don't want to be in, I can also get myself out of here. But if I am to say the world got me here, how am I supposed to find a path out from my current circumstance? You know what? I think that probably is? I don't

know. I can think back to times in my life where I was very sensitive and quite frankly pressed, you know, just in a really negative kind of spiral, and I found myself reacting to positivity in a negative way. It was really strange, I like, at least in the in the sense of somebody trying to like pep me up or or give me like a pep talk, and like you know it's gonna be okay, just you know you can do it. You gotta put the work in. But you got that

kind of stuff would like send me way deeper spiraling. And a lot of times I feel like when people feel like that, their their snap reaction is just to lash out and try to make others feel, you know, kind

of bad like they do. And I mean, what you're doing is inherently only positive, Like you know, your your your message is so empowering and inspiring, Like that's my favorite part of doing what we do is just making people feel like they can take care of themselves and you know, helping people get to that point where they're like they have a positive outlook on themselves. And yeah, that's all you're doing. Like somebody lashing out because of that

is is they're just unfortunately they're about it. Yeah they're and honestly, thank you, thank you, And I'm okay with being someone's trigger. I actually invite it. I want to trigger you because you're talking to someone who I've been through the freaking ringer. Okay, you're talking to someone who was on sleeping medication, anti anxiety medication. I've been there. I know how it works. I know how badly we are addicted to our own emotional story.

I know how badly we get addicted to our self pity, the circumstances and the dynamics that keep us stuck. I get it. I was once fighting for my own misery too, and I like it better where I am now. And if it wasn't for other people triggering me so badly into saying I'm in so much pain, I literally have no other option but to change my whole entire life. I wouldn't be here. So if I am your trigger and I get you upset, I'm okay with that because I know that there's

a bigger plan here and that's going to serve you in some way. And my soul probably has some sort of contract with your soul that I'm going to make you mad today and that's okay with me. Well, it's like the personal trainer, you know, Like you sign up with a personal trainer, you go to the gym and they kick your fucking ass. Yeah, you know it's not comfortable. Yeah, And like I can't speak for us or how people react to us, but like in your case, you're you're clearly

getting people messaging you. It's you're doing something you know, like but it's not the physical, it's spiritual whatever whatever you're saying, whatever you're doing is is. Uh. When I used to go to Bible camp, or not Bible camp, but like Bible studies in college, something was spoken to me by one of the like youth ministers that change my life. And it's not even in reference just to the Bible. It's just period in all of life. Iron sharpens Iron. You know what I mean, you're being like Iron.

You know, if people just look at the same comfortable shit every day and never try to grow, they're never going to get any sharper. Yeah. And unfortunately with growth, I mean, it takes something tougher than you are to kind of sharpen you up. So it really is a good thing what you're doing. It's okay if people get offended that, yeah, you know, they they just haven't figured it out yet. Yeah, Yeah,

I think it's It's interesting because I was thinking about it today. I really love talking about magnetic energy, which is basically embodying a state where you don't have to chase anything, but instead you attract the best timeline, the best people, the best opportunity. And one magnetic behavior that I think we should all adopt is being okay. Not being understood by other people and being okay. Actually hardest for me cc Oh, well, you know what. That's

probably because of how you grew up. Though. Remember what you told me on the phone, and it like blew my mind. You realize, I tell you you said every time that I listen to your show, you want to say it, Yeah, you would say something along the lines I know this sounds crazy or something like that, like this might sound crazy, but and I would always smile to myself because I understood why you were saying that

you were for con traumatized. So now you have to have this almost a disclaimer of Okay, I'm gonna say something, and I'm probably gonna have some sort of reaction, but I'm just gonna try to protect myself and also trying to make you comfortable with the words I'm about to say. And for me, I grew up differently. I grew up trying to be as different as possible. And it's still, though, something that you have to practice because

I'm still social being. I want acceptance of my peers and my family and all those things. But I think that, as you're probably noticing now, and as I've noticed through creating content that's in alignment with me, once you taste how good it feels to be in your authentic energy, the opinions of others start to fade away and they start to matter less. But we value other people's opinions a lot more when we're not happy in our own circumstance.

Already, damn she preaching y'all. Hey, you brew that's the hardest thing, you know, Like just people are mean. People are really honestly vicious and hateful, and like some of the things that have been said about us, you know, we're drug addicts, were psychotic, schizophrenic, liars, demon possessed, like you name it. Just because we've come out saying we see things right, you know, and like here it is twenty twenty three, we're still standing by it, you know, like talking about I don't

know. It's like people are cruel and it stays with you. We can say all day, like I know that that their opinions are untrue and they don't matter, but the reality is, it takes a long time to heal all that negative shit out of there. And like especially when it's still coming at you. It's not like it's it's gone after, it's less now,

but still it's it's still there, still coming at you. And I think that for me, it's something I would practice with every time I made a decision, because I'm coming from the point of view not the same story as you, but more so I was codependent in relationships. I had really bad anxious attachment and I was always this kind of people pleaser, So I came from that angle, and what I started to have to do is bring to the forefront of my mind every single time I made a decision, until it

became like my second skin. I was asking myself, how is this actually making me feel? Is this actually making me happy? Is this making me feel excited? Do I feel aligned in my purpose? And the more we practice asking ourselves how does this feel, the less we're worried about how is someone perceiving me? And it's a practice. Wow, I just had a realization. But it seems to me, like all of your spiritual practice that you're regularly doing it, it seems like the secret sauce as you're really just

connected to your subconscious mind. Like at the end of the day, like on paper, you know, if I had to say, like what what what makes CC so special? Why is she so this or that or the other? I think you're really just connected to your subconscious mind. Have you ever thought about that or realized that. I try to befriend my subconscious mind because I want us on the same page, and I'm all about reprogramming my

subconscious mind so I'm not just attracting anything and everything. I think a big realization for me when I was at my lowest point, was Okay, I'm both attracting consciously and subconsciously, and I need to get us both allion. Yeah. Well that's what happens though. It's we attract our life vibration, yes, but then we forget to mention that we also attract the exact opposite because polarity, we're also attracting our beliefs, and we're also attracting our shadow,

and we're also attracting exactly what we hate. So when I realized that, and I was seeing that in the people I was meeting while I was dating and the friendships I was creating. When I realized that, I said, okay, no. And something that I love to do is use THEATA

state to my advantage. So as soon as I wake up and right before I have my last thought before I go to sleep, when our mind is in theta waves, which means our subconscious mind is wide open, I will say a couple of my favorite, absolute favorite affirmations just to get it in that subconscious mind. It's like a fast pass on a disney riding, right, just like the past, your subconscious mind, and I use it to

my advantage every single day and that's a non negotiable behavior for me. As soon as I wake up light before I go to sleep, I'm saying these positive affirmations. That's that's brilliant. Because we've done entire episodes on this different episod CC. I don't know if we even talked about this. There's there's just so much that you know, obviously we haven't had time to communicate to one another. But like a major component of our story, it's all over

Dad's book. The first chapter kicks off talking about this, and the last chapter are about this. My dad ended up getting involved with the people who basically operated the psychics by program for the Army and the CIA. I'm not sure if you've heard of the movie The Men Who Stare At Goats. Oh, oh my god, yes, I have that written down in my notes

to watch Son. Okay, but the guy that the movie is based on is like wrote the introduction to my dad's book, very good friends, and I got to tell you, like, especially with these people being involved at the Monroe Institute. Are you familiar with the Monroe's Tute. I've heard it only on your podcast. Okay, Well, my dad ended up going there friends with basically like the people in charge there, the board director members and

stuff like that. That's what they do. They listen to special frequencies. They get them into a theta wave state and meditate. And it's not always saying affirmations. Sometimes it's like the affirmations are in the tracks, you know, so like it's spoken to you. Yeah, but like that's very profound that you just out there in the wilderness of New York talking to your spirit guides and meditating and doing yoga and with a hula hoop figuring out all this

high level shit. That's a perfect description of me right there. I'm not even kidding. There are people like me and us and by extension, Nick and Alex because they have crazy experiences too, you know, they see things and they've met cool people in all this street. There are people like us who have boom lights flicker from another dimension and they're like, what's up,

motherfucker. You know, you gotta go tell your story. And then the government knocks on our door and they study us and then them in Roe's You know, people, things are just handed to me. Not knowledge is just constantly being handed to me from some forces that I can't understand. And then there are people like you who out there on your own, you just figure out all this shit because you're listening to your inner voice and it's coming to

you so clearly. Yeah, as opposed to most people, I'm very impressed by your knowledge. I just have to say that, like, I'm very impressed by your spiritual knowledge. Thank you so much. I was thinking also about this today, but if I could this is such a weird thought, but I was in my closet and I was thinking, if I could email every single human being on the planet every single day, I would say the same exact sentence, which is the pain is the portal, And I would

just repeatedly say that over over and over again. Because I'm not kidding you, every single painful experience I've ever went through was the best thing that has ever happened to me because it has taught me literally everything. My pain every single time, there's never not been a time this has happened. Every single time my skin feels like it's crawling, my heart's being ripped out of my

chest. I'm telling you, it leads me to the exact thing. The nature completely molds to what I need, and I find the exact teaching. I need my spirit guides tell me exactly what I need to do. I learn how to do something new, how to harness my energy. I learn about subtle energies when it comes to dating, and then I just simply take that and teach it to other people. It is my pain, though, that has been my greatest teacher. And I think there's something to say about

our own darkness. I'm one of those people who says, baby girl, let's dance with our darkness, because our darkness will teach us things that the light could never And that's just a truth. Your darkness will lead you deeper and further than your light can show you. Eventually, you will love that darkness to the light, but it's going to take you to places that the

light doesn't even know exists. Well, there's a lot of symbolism behind that, Like it's like yin yang, you know, like in the light, there is that little kernel of darkness, but then in the darkness there's that

little kernel of light. And when you really think about it, most of these experiences I'm talking about, like the paranormal UFO type higher consciousness experiences, them happen at night, at least in my experience, which is like, you know, ground zero for all this disclosure stuff going on other people, I don't know, maybe there're having lots of daytime experiences. I've had few compared to the majority. And also you have all this esoteric symbolism like owls.

Owls are always this divine messenger of the gods, and like even Zeus's daughter Athena, you know, the owl or Minerva, the owl of wisdom. Right, it's always this owl symbolism. It's this creature that lives in the night, but its eyes are bright and it can see the truth in the darkness. It's illuminated with knowledge that other creatures of the night can't perceive. You know, there there is there is truth to be gleaned, or there's light to be gleaned from the darkness of night. The Lady came at

night, you know, period darkness doesn't have to be evil. My my understanding of that is more so like darkness is the illusion of not having truth or light. But you know, those with those with eyes like an owl or you know, like an open third I or whatever, who has the intuition and the knowledge to perceive there is light to be found in the darkness. I think you are absolutely correct. Yeah, I was gonna reference. I was about to say, yeah, I was just listening to this podcast.

It was your po and you were basically talking about how like your soul, you know, is under contract, it chooses the body that it wants to come into. But you were also talking about how the whole purpose of us incarnating into this physical three D realm is because without it, we wouldn't be able to appreciate the light. You know, we wouldn't. We wouldn't have any frame of reference. It's like if it's just you said, oh,

there was this amazing quote that you said about heaven. Gosh, I wish I could remember it, but it was essentially like you can't Oh yeah, it was you can't learn in heaven. You can't learn lessons in heaven because it's all good all the time. You know, we incarnate here, we accept the dark this willingly so that we can appreciate the light. That shit is beautiful. Oh my god. Now that's on a period. Yeah,

that's a period. I love that, No, absolutely, And I just think it's so important that you know, if I came all the way to planet Earth then incarnated as a freaking human. I need to get out what I can get out of this experience. I need to like fully throw myself into it. And part of that is experiencing not just this positivity, but also that lower vibrational energy, that negativity. But it's not feeling.

A negative emotion is not a negative experience if you actually just feel it, learn from it, and release it, That in itself is actually a positive experience. That is being a positive bitch. You're exploring a new vibration, a new frequency, and learning from it. Facts. Everybody needs to aspire to be a positive bitch. We are all babes in touch with what was it again, connection with herself? That is all of us. It's so at least we should aspire to be bitches. Are we honorary positive bitches?

We're gonna keep you on speed dial? I'm and um yeah, I mean, is there anything like if you if you had a camera on you right now, what you do but a different one, a different camera, and it was like projecting to the entire earth. You already said, Pennies, the portal, so that our best thing I've ever heard. I'm gonna get that tattooed on my face, like that's okay, I'm not gonna lie.

That was pretty gas. Well, we'll do a different question. If you had one spiritual practice that you wish that you could teach to all of humanity, what would it be patients? Honestly, patience with yourself to actually learn what it is you're trying to transcend and what you're trying to encode, because you have to remember you've been a certain way for x amount of years, which is probably most of your life, because when do we start learning,

it's pretty much when we're an adult. If you've been encoding a certain way of being for so long, it's going to take time to then encode a new way of living. You need to have patience for all of the energies to correspond with one another, to be woven together, and to transcend your older versions of yourself. I love having a funeral for all the older versions of myself. I kiss them goodbye every single day. I'm like, I love you, yeah, bye, love you, thank you for everything exactly.

And I think that it doesn't have to be like, oh my god, I'm losing this part of myself. I'm like, okay, bye, maybe you'll back later. I don't know and having patience with learning new versions of you and having patients, knowing that you have to learn new ways of living and it doesn't happen overnight, and it's not supposed to because who goes to a movie just to see the ending. You want to see the whole movie. Live your life, enjoy each day, and just enjoy being a

human. Honestly, that's it. That's a very great, um closing out point. I would say, Cec, you're amazing. Um, I hope you enjoyed your experience with us. I did. Thank you so much for having me on. This is amazing. Thank you brother podcast. We definitely got to have you on again in the future. UM. So you've seen the show, so you have a suggestion. Okay, this is going to be the first episode where we don't say bye guys. We're gonna say bye

bitches. I love it by positive bitches. We'll do that. I like that. I like that better. I'm like, okay, let's do already. Three do you one? Bye by your back yard flitso house. The send got so weird coming closer to my hair, staystraight up like smiraling on the inside of it. No one knows. Man. Wow, it's come iver Shine ain't can

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