100: A Show About The Show

Weird things happened in the backyard, so weird, weird, weird. Wow, Yo, up, Well, I'm gonna have to bleep that, but those Okay, we're excited. Okay, it's the hundredth episode d two years. By the time this comes out, it should be June twenty twenty three. Oh right. I cannot believe we've been doing this for two years. That's unfathomable. My brain can't even wrap around that. The fact that we've hit one hundred episodes. Well, yeah, two years makes sense because think

about it. One a week, we might miss a week here or there, and it's fifty fifty two weeks in a year. Yeah, it's not that we missed a week. We did every other week, right for the first yeah, a few weeks, and then the first first Christmas we didn't post, right, Yo, y'all. We are so overwhelmed with happiness and joy and excitement and gratitude. We were, if you can't tell, we're

a little giddy right now. It's one hundred episodes. We thought it would be really cool to do a couple out of the box things, so you're definitely gonna want to stick around to the end of the video. But especially for those listeners out there, why don't you go over to the YouTube channel and watch this run? Okay, buddy, because this one is going to be extra special and special announcement. We do have a YouTube. Yeah, we gotta comment, We gotta comment on the YouTube the other day saying I've

been listening since the first episode and never knew y'all how to YouTube. Okay, So we are always on video. Yeah, we're all every single episodes on video. So go to the YouTube channel, and hey, if this is your first one on the YouTube channel, then this is the perfect one to start with. If if our sexy voices aren't enough, if that's not

enough, of our ugly faces will bring it home. So, Ryan, if I want to watch on video but I don't want to see any alds, what can I do if you want to patreon dot com slash Bledzo said, so, no, ads, you're wilcome and then some other stuff. Who cares about that? This is the hundreds episode. We're getting into it. We have the producers get all corporated, I know, get out of

here, you freak wait. Listen, we're gonna have behind the scenes never before seeing footage at the end of this episode and also the second half of this episode. We have a lineup. We've got like six guests. Yes, we have a lot of guests here. Most of them have been on the show before. But we want to have people pop in and talk about the show. And that's kind that's kind of the vibe for this episode.

This is a party. This is a party exactly. It's like, technically not the birthday of the show, but it's like the birthday party at Hey. Yeah, our hat say happy birthday by the way, because this is the one hundredth birthday of the second birthday pretty much. Yeah, but it's complicated. We wanted to kind of take this opportunity to well, do you know what the first dog years or something. First, I'd really love to

take this opportunity to thank the listeners profusely. Thank you guys and the viewers. We just want to thank our fans so much for sticking around with us for you know, whether you've been here for all one hundred episodes or you're just showing up for the first time. You know, we couldn't do this without you. So many thanks. And also I want to thank my boys.

Thank you for thanking me. No really, I do like this, this thing that we have made is so special and it's brought me a ton of joy and fulfillment and it really it really like it satisfies my soul. It's been very life changing and I mean that like all sincerity. Yeah, no, it has, and I want to Yeah, I just wanted to show a little gratitude to my boys, you know what I just realized. But like, obviously this has been done already and we're well past this,

but like, we have done this for a hundred plus hours. Yeah, that's weird. Think about when you go and check your your you know, video game stats, Right, you've crined on this game, dude, we like and there's so much work that goes in behind the scenes, right, that's off air. But we are at one hundred plus hours. That's one hundred plus episodes. I've hit record on this honest computer at least one hundred times. Oh yeah, well more than that, we've done all kinds of

other stuff. Yeah, that is that's it's hard to wrap my mind about that and think about how much the show has evolved since we started. Yeah, Like when we first started, it was even posting on YouTube, it was just a picture of the podcast, the picture of the logo with just the audio that was it. We didn't have video to like, dude, like the fourteenth no, even past that. It was like thirty yeah, like thirty something. Yeah. We were also recording every episode in your old

apartment living room. Yeah, do you remember the first it was? It was the first three and then I moved here. Oh that's right, that's right. Technically four zero Does that not seem like a lifetime ago? It really does, like thinking back on, and also the first few episodes, the time before the podcast, to me is like a life I don't want to go back to. Oh no, no, absolutely not never. Yeah, this this show has it's really been amazing for me so and I think

it's been amazing for a lot of people. The best thing, I say it all the time, the best thing to come from this show is the community you know that that has kind of rushed in and and and just been so supportive and loving of each other. It's like this shining beacon of positivity and it's it's it's beautiful and amazing. Like I wouldn't trade it for the world. I really wouldn't say. Yeah, well, we've done some we've done some amazing episodes. I'd love for for us to to rattle off a

few of our our like our our standout episodes. Okay me honestly, even though it was, uh it was a pretty recent one. Like some of the most fun I've had recording an episode was the Valentine's Day episode. Really it was. It was Yeah, that was like a no holds barred episode, Like we were just on one. That we were on one. It's

it's funny how that happens too. Like sometimes we get in here and you know, even when we recorded batches, like some of them are just nutty, not nutty, but like just the energy is nutty, and some of them are like super you know, super just informational. Yeah, you know what I noticed. What it is, it's as soon as you pop the cork of like the being silly and goofy. Basically you can chalk that up

to a goofy episode. Yeah. Usually I feel like we come in here with a lot of heat, like a lot of like we got a lot of stuff to talk about, we got info, we got we got all this stuff. So we start rattling it off and maybe the joke doesn't happen until like way into the episode and then we get goofy. But on the episodes where we pop the cork early, you know that's about to be just it just builds a goofy ass episode. Just a bottle of champagne, baby, bro, when I dude, I think about episode two a lot.

Remember the Star Wars episode? Oh it was called what is it called? The Force Is with You or something like, I think about that one a lot. I just have vivid memories of recording that one, and like, I don't know, I just I think I think often about the very early bloodso sets so days, like the first few episodes, because of like how magical it felt and how I remember back then in the very beginning, the

first so many episodes we're all based on a movie. You remember that, Yeah, And over time we just evolved and evolved, and like we've we've it's been like a crazy evolution from the beginning. And now we've got like and I'm not I'm not plugging, I'm just reminiscing, like now we've got the Patreon and we've got all these things that we never thought was possible, Like now we've got a Patreon show, We've got the Discord you know,

we've got we do all these like cool live events and stuff. Yeah, like starting like when we were in your old apartment, Like I couldn't have even pictured yeah that, you know, right, dude. I remember. I remember when we were first like really starting to talk about doing the podcast and everything, and I was like I was starting to get excited. But you know, like we talked about in the Twice Born episode, we had a lot of false starts. Yeah, you know what, big ideas but

no execution exactly. I mean We've always had all these big ideas and and most of them we just maybe didn't follow through with. But I just realized something. But I remember when we had that meeting at Pharaoh's. Remember before we before we started the podcast, me, Ryan, Jenny, and Casey, we all went to a restaurant in Fayetteville, a Greek restaurant. We had our meeting at a Greek restaurant. That's kind of some ball like when

you think about it, I mean it really is, uh. And we had our first ever podcast meeting there and it was us just like talking about what, you know, what everybody's roles would be in the podcast. That was the moment where I was like oh dude, this is real. Yeah, like, oh, we're actually gonna do this. I was like, that's when I started to get real excited. I was like, you're like, who's the Salish guy? You? I had met you? Yeah?

Or I both at my bachelor party? Yeah, okay, sweet sweet, we were at the bachelor party and then I had met you at was it an engagement party? Yeah? At the engagement party. I just had a realization what with what we were just talking about the difference between now and back then when we were kids is it's just continually putting our foot forward, and we've been figuring it out along the way, you know, like we've been growing because of the effort in the experience, the ideas. Never we're not

big, you know. Yeah, And let me just take a moment and you guys will probably agree with me, but I feel like, hopefully the main driver of each step forward is is enlarged. Like not that not that it's not all of us, but like I feel like Jenny really drives it. I rock maybe yeah, and she's like, all right, this is one hundred We're going big. I mean it's the reason we got streamers behind

you guys, like you got this the reason you got hats on. But that was me, all right, I was there also, Casey said all this stuff up right, there's a lot of elements. Yeah, it takes a village for sure. Dude. No, Jenny, I say this all the time. Jenny is like the backbone of this thing. We could not this without her, No way, absolutely, no way it could happen. But we don't even have to think about that because we're one hundred episodes in. Yeah, it blows my mind. Okay, I said, my dude,

Like we we have like the awesome shirt. We haven't ever mentioned this since we've been recording, but like, yeah, we have like dope merchandise. Like I wanted to wear a Bledso said so shirt for um, you know, the hundredth episode. Then we have like a dope shop. The hats are back. Yeah, you can look sexy as a motherfucker that with that new age drip. Dude, I want new age drip merch That's what I want. That's what it is coming. No, no, no,

I want something that says new age drip on it. Yeah. I want to do We're going to want to do that. We stool. Yeah, but you know what what you were saying about like the one foot forward, one foot in front of the other thing. That's exactly what this show has taught me is that like, no goal is too big. There's nothing that you can't do, like keep going. Yeah. Absolutely. And I feel like because growing up I always had so many of those false starts. I

felt like I couldn't do anything, you know what I mean. I was like, I just I'm just not driven, I'm just not committed. I'm just whatever whatever it is. But now I've realized it just takes consistent focus. Yeah, just consistent focus and effort. That's it. Yeah, just put on yeah, yeah, one foot in front of the other. Yeah. That I've I've been able to take that and put it into other aspects of my life and the same. That's been a huge It's just so many

ways that this, this show that we do has improved my life. So is the value? What were you gonna say some Alex, you hit you a little quicker? I did him. I was going to ask you guys a question, okay, because I because it's gonna come up, like, oh, what's your favorite episode we'll talk about? I was about to ask that. Yeah, I got it, all right, I'm gonna go let me read your mind. Are your favorite episode is the Alex episode? Well? I wasn't gonna ask that question, but you did read my mind.

That's a top lister. Yeah that was a banger, all right. Well were you gonna say though? Okay, when when in this entire journey were you the most nervous? Me? This is for both of you. Oh how when I was the most nervous? Oh my god, Oh my god. Okay, A couple of moments are starting to come back to me. Okay, I was actually pretty nervous on Alex's episode because I hadn't work. I hadn't work the command center. Yeah, and I didn't know. I

didn't know what I was doing. There was like one moment where I left the camera on Alex for like a minute when he wasn't even talking. I was like, oh god, so I just because of how weird the dates are, but that one I just edited. That one just came across my desk this week. Did you see what I was talking about? I did? But you also did a good job. Okay, cool, good, I'm glad I did. There was there was another one that really it was this was an I guess it was a pretty early episode. Uh, the

Wizard of Oz episode. Remember I had all these notes and I burned through them in like thirty minutes, and then I was like, oh, way, don't feel bad because for Valentines I burned through them in like ten minutes and then we had to fill it. That's the reality. Yeah, it was like fifteen minutes. This is what the people behind the camera it was. It was like a minute, that's all I got. And we were like, what this is? What this is. What people don't see is

like we have all these notes. We might spend a couple of days, we might spend an hour researching stuff, taking all these notes, and then it's like, okay, let's stretch this for an hour. Yeah, and then sometimes you can't do that. Sometimes sometimes it's ten minutes and it's like we don't necessarily say it out loud, but it's like, oh, a board and we just gotta wing it. You know. That's so true.

It's happened. It's happened multiple multiple times that we haven't even acknowledged. No, but it's way more than an hour that goes into it, because we have an hour meeting every week to talk about yeah, that we're going to talk about yep, yeah, we do. Yeah, that's so funny that like these parts of our lives are with like involving the podcasts are so regular we don't even think about it, and like the people listening or watching like

have no idea the stuff that goes into it. It's just just tune in and enjoy exactly hopefully. Yeah. Yeah, it's it's funny to think about. But yeah, we're we're kind of decent at like making it seem like everything was planned and like we were going but a lot of like it is planned, but not in advance. Yeah, like we're planning it now all the time. Yeah. Yeah, Like it's constant planning. It's not just like you know, smooth with it. It's like a lot of moving parts.

Yeah. Like with the Valentine's episode, when you were like that's all I got fifteen minutes, my brain immediately started going, what are we talking about next? When we talk about like, I started like seeing a list of topics come up in my mind, like, oh my god, where are we going now? I looked at Alex, like the difference there is that you admitted it. Yeah, like it happens. Yeah, and you

guys just like naturally flow right through it. But you just went I knew it would be funny, yeah, And I knew it would be like take the wind out of the sales and like, well here we are a lot of times that's the way to handle it. Yeah, b I learned that in public speaking, Dude. I got like an A plus in public speaking, and I learned the best way to deal with nervousness or some sort of

public you know, lack of confidence come out in front of it. Yeah, Like literally in public speaking, they're like if you're nervous before you begin speaking, be like I just want to dress and say that I am very nervous. It's a real strategy. It's in sales too. Yeah yeah, yeah, you just it's called like eating the elephant or something. What that sounds like, because there's the elephant in the room and you've just got to

You've just got a attack. So it's not that I was nervous, but I was like, I'm out of shit to talk about, you know? Was that you're the most nervous you've been, No, dude, probably the first you were all there when I had like a breakdown before we record an episode zero. We talked about that many times. How we talk about it again, you know, because there's there's always new people coming in and um, yeah, I mean before we ever recorded the first episode, which is

episode zero. Um, I just had so much press. I was pretty much quiet the whole day, like for the most of the day because I was like, I was psyched out. I knew I was gonna do it. I'm the kind of person where my grandpa always taught me, grit your teeth, don't complain, deal with it, and keep moving forward. My grandpa was the kind of guy. I'm talking about my grandpa in the Blood Suicide. He's the kind of guy. Dude, when he died in his

eighties, for years, he had a broken ankle. He's just never you know, kind of like your dad. Yeah, you just you just grit your teeth and you keep going. And I may be scared, I may be nervous, but I keep going. And I was psyching myself, like, dude, I gotta do this. I gotta get in the zone. I gotta get in the zone. But I was so scared because you know,

growing up, I don't want to get into super heavy stuff. But like growing up I've had all these Department of the Offense officials come around our property and make comments like we'd be spied on and tap for the rest of our life. And I was afraid to like break that threshold of like fully going public, you know. Yeah, but I realized, like, nothing's gonna happen to me. I'm gonna be safe. Y'all coached me through it. We didn't start recording until like midnight, right, remember, Yeah,

absolutely, I totally remember. And of course, like you know, we we were telling Ryan, like, dude, if if this is too much, like if if this is too much, it's not it's not worth it, you know, if it's if it's something that you're not going to be able to handle, that's okay. It's it's totally okay. Like there's a lot of pressure involved here, you know, and you know, nobody made me do it, Like I guess I have to take a second two years later, one hundred episodes and to realize, like, damn, I really

did do that. I really did push through that. You pushed past I thought I had to. You did. I mean, whether you had to or not, you broke through that barrier of fear of like doubt of you know, you broke through that, you jumped into the abyss and found out it was a feather bed. Yeah, yeah, you did. So this look at us. Now. This is something I have not acknowledged on the show yet because Dad's book has only been out for two months, but I

want to say, and this isn't I mean, y'all know this. It's not like I would come right out and be like I'm nervous to record, but dude, I always had this pit in my stomach every time we had a podcast day, like like literally the whole time, Like every time before we began an episode, I would be psyched out and nervous and like, do they want to listen? Do they want to hear? Despite the evidence that the numbers have steadily even growing and people are always saying nice, positive

things and they love the show. Yeah, for some reason, I had this this wall in my brain that was like just so much fear about continuing to speak out. And then Dad's book came out and something changed in me that I didn't expect. I didn't anticipate, it just happened. And what it is is, I believe subconscious I felt an enormous pressure to tell the story, improve the story. But the second Dad's Book was published and it

has taken off and it has a life of its own. Now, I think that that pressure has been lifted from me, and I don't have any sort of burden or pressure to like tell the story. You gotta believe me, you know what I mean. That's why I was defensive, and I was like this painful, tortured person who felt like I was, you know, fighting against the world. All that's gone and like I'm not even I'm

not afraid at all, you know. It's it's funny. It's funny you mentioned that because it I mean, thinking back on it now, like it is gone. You don't have that that about you at all anymore. That like really like you know, buck kind of like you know, aggressive sort of like disposition towards this. And also so something that Ryan has done for the majority of the episodes that we recorded is after everyone he's like, was that good? Was it good? Do you think people are gonna like it?

You know whatever? You haven't done that since the book came out, except for Full Disclosure, But that's different. It's a new show that and it's me talking to a camera straight for thirty minutes. Yeah, the last time I went for forty minutes, and Alex comments, yeah, you kind of. I mean, you know, Alex pops in, but like so naturally, I'm like, dude, am I going off the rails here? You know? But it's not that I'm afraid, it's like, am I

going in the right direction? Of course? You know what I mean? Yeah, it's gone with with Bleds said, so, like you, the pressure is gone because the story has been told. Yeah, and we're just doing what originally we had set out to do, which was just helping wake people up in different ways, like you know, teaching them things, entertaining them, giving them comfort, positivity. There's so many things that we're doing with the show, and it's it's it's a new game for me now,

Alex. What's the most nervous you've been for an episode? Oh? It's ah, there's one time, like the there's the top and then there's the honorable mention. And I'll start with the honorable mention. And the honorable mention

was when we had Duncan on. Oh. So well, let me just start by saying that, like, you guys clearly have pressure, right, nobody's doubting that like you are the show, but like I have, I have this different kind of pressure where that I put on myself, right, because it's like if you guys have, like you know, my biggest fear is that you guys start going and going and going, and I look down

and I realized I haven't been recording like that would that would suck? Right, good fear to have for our sake, That's what I'm saying, Like, it's just this different pressure. So when when M. Duncan came on, there was really nothing that I had to do right because it was all virtual and everything set up, and it's just like once it's all set, it's pretty hands off. But I was so I was like ready to go the whole time just in case something happened. Like I'm like, this has

to be perfect. It's Duncan trustle Like it's gotta be a one. Was that like our first Zoom episode. We we bought stream Yard for that. Okay, we get it for Isaac, but we definitely used it with Isaac's right, You're right, yeah, we might have gotten stream Yard for Duncan, but I know Isaac put us on the stream Yard. No, we got it for Isaac because we did that two parts special, right, because he used it and recommended it to us. Oh yeah. But the most

nervous that I've ever been was recently, uh for the Siblings episode. Oh oh yeah, because I had no I had just gotten the switchboard first in the field. So like if you know, if you're not watching right, you don't know what I'm talking about. But if you're watching right, I'm switching back and forth between them and the switchboard that I have. It is making those cuts and exporting it as one file so I don't have to do it switched to me. It's on you. That's gonna be so fun.

Area they have no clue, right, Um, we did that whole Siblings episode and it was the first time that I had ever this piece of equipment. Yeah, you were in the trenches. Oh man, I was like, this has to be perfect. But like that is that is kind of the way I do things, is like I just throw myself in there and like figure fure it out, evolve what no, adapt adapt overcome? Yeah. Yeah, were you nervous for your episode? No? Actually, really, we've been training them for a hundred of them. Yeah. No,

you did great on that one. Thanks there have been. Yeah, it was really like one of my favorite. You know what, there was a small moment, uh with when we did my dad's episode where I was like a little nervous host really just just like a for for a few minutes. I was just kind of like, oh, whoa this is. This is kind of wild. I'm because like you know, I have this, I have this like it's not a persona, it's not a face, but yeah, I am a certain way on the podcast then you know, yeah,

like I'm like, yeah, it's not really that. It's like think about it like that, Like I'm you know, we're performing were to an extent. Yeah, like we're being honest, but we're we're you know, giving more of ourselves. Yeah, because people are listening. The best way I could put it is like obviously we are one hundred percent our genuine selves, but like we just turn the energy knob up for the show so that we can like really more expressive. Yes, yeah, yes, stuff like that.

And so but you know, y'all saw the episode with my dad. Y'all saw how chill he is. Like when I'm around my dad, it's like very chill, very laid back or whatever. So I just had a lucid moment for a second where I was talking to him and I was like being podcast nick like extra, and I was like, oh, this is kind of weird. I was like, this is this is just a little different. It wasn't It wasn't like a bad thing. I do that with my dad too, But it feels normal because my dad and I have both

done so many interviews and we did it. We're used to it. You know, were you nervous for the episode? Was it twenty twenty two, the one, the interview with your dad, the whole production? No, but I regret Maybe I shouldn't read too much into this, but I feel like when we did that episode, I was at a point to where I really wasn't experienced enough as an interviewer yet. And I feel like I could have I could have maybe like given him a better opportunity to it elaborate on.

All you're saying is you would have just done some things differently. I didn't really know what I was doing. Well that means you're growing, So that's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, shoot, the episode came out great, you know it really Yeah, it really did to everyone else, but to me. I'm like, you know, it's my dad, and you know, I don't know. I just I feel like every I know, people are always going to be critical of themselves. But yeah,

I mean I wasn't nervous for it. Actually good, good, it came out great. There was there was you know, no need to be nervous, obviously, but no, there are moments. You know, we have our moments in the show where it gets a little nerve wracking sometimes but ultimately it's it's the best. So what well you got, dude, I've got a nerve wracking story. I was just telling Ryan off air like today, and it's because it's like, you know, different type of stress, different

type of responsibility type thing. And I was out of town. I had just He's like, if any of us need to take vacation, it affects the editing schedule, right because so many hands touched the product before it goes out. Yeah, so I had to basically fill up our backlog with finished episodes so that I could go on vacation. And I I am on vacation and I wake up late to a text. She frantic text messages in our

group chat Bloodstoe group chat. Well, we had and so if you don't know, episodes get released early to our Patreon viewers on Monday and then the rest of the world on Wednesday. Well, I had forgot to cut something. Someone went to the bathroom in the middle of it. I don't know. Here's what happened. Casey had to go get her oil changed and the

keys were in like Nick's yeah. Yeah, so there was to come into the room, right, So something happened in the middle of the episode, and I didn't cut it out because I was trying to backlog these episodes and this is like this never happens. It was like over five minutes. Yeah, of like breaks in the episode, and I feel so terrible. I'm

glad I'm airing it out. So basically this got all the way into production, got logged, went out to the discord and some of the awesome Oomis in the discord were like yo, they were laughing about they were really cool. Yeah, and before or Wednesday then, yeah, it got fixed before it went to the rest of the world, but it got fixed that day. Yeah, yeah, it's all good, but still, yeah, it was it was a it was like, uh, yeah, Alex is like

the last line of defense. Like he's the last one to touch everything. So yeah, I bet you were probably like, oh my god. By the way, and so yeah, I'm away from I left all of my computers like at home. I didn't even take a laptop with me, Like I'm like this, I'm just gonna check out for a week, right, And I'm I was so mad at myself. I'm like so upset because it's like, of course it happens when I'm out of town. Well, my wonderful wife that day learned how to do it, just taught herself and just

fixed it. Yeah, Jenny, what a great one. That's how she'd be doing it, dude. Yeah, she's the backbone. Yo. Is it time for guests? I think so let me send a text message. So anyway, we just uh, we wanted to take a good little chunk to just kind of reminisce about the show's okay, wait wait wait wait wait favorite episode go oh oh that's hard man, there's ninety nine. Them had some of the cosmic horror, cosmic horror. If you couldn't tell, oh,

yeah, favorite episode because of the song. Yeah that episode. I love the cosmic horror. Um, I love the Lighthouse one that one was so much fun. Best thumbnail for sure, best thumbnail. Um, The Lord of the Rings episode is a very old one, but I love that one. That's a good one. Yeah, one of my favorites. Never ending story. Oh dude, we were going off. We still get comments about that. Yeah, we went off on that one. I love that

one. Obviously. The Duncan episode is a huge, huge highlight. Yeah, well there's I think there's definitely categories, like there's favorite guest episode. Yeah, my favorite guest episode would be my dad, I guess, but secondary kind or wait, maybe my wife. Okay, if if it's okay, if you don't say that because you know it's okay, it's not your favorite. We've done some really cool stuff, of course, other than my wife and my dad. The Duncan Trust All episode. Dude, I mean,

come on. I also loved Isaac. I just Isaac's the coolest. Yeah. Ah, he's sitting in shirts. What they're in the mail? We all get in a shirt shout. Let's take him all out the shout. Isaac Isaac is by Isaac Is. For those of you who don't know, we're talking about Isaac Isaac. Weishaupt with his show let me think of the new name. It is occult symbolism and pop culture. Isaac Is. We've never met in person. I pray someday we will. He is a

wonderful soul. I listened to his podcast for years and I mean years, and he somehow through research heard about my family organically and I caught wind of that listening to his podcast and I messaged him, and boom, we became friends. Yeah, and we've had him on our show. Oh dude, he's he's such a genuine guy that there's nothing fake about him. Bat Force Tom episode fire Fire and also then going on bat Force Yeah, also an amazing guy. Yo, Okay, hold up, we got to talk about

this. If y'all haven't seen it, you gotta go watch the episode of the bat Force show with us on it. This is This is how much of a green man alex is. He did like the first thirty minutes of the show in full head to toe like he was dressed like the Riddler from the New movie. He had like a ski mask on. He didn't tell us he was going to do it and didn't say a word for ten minutes. He was just sitting there like this. So oh yeah, our first

guest is in the high high value production what loofy? Hey, what's popping? Thanks? Dude? That was really satisfied mine. That felt great. How about this? Huh? Man? We man? We did a hundred episodes, boy, yes, and you've been in most of them. Is an appearance. He's appeared in the most. You're the most frequent guest. That's I'm glad to be here. Was his first guest appearance? Like his episode? Yeah? Was that? Was that your first one? Honestly?

Man, I can't even remember. You've probably been on here ten times now. Yeah, something's been like that, realist. It's close. Yeah, I would say a solid nine really so much? Maybe like seven? Yeah, maybe a solid seven easy, easy solid when you came on for the first time, were you nervous? Yeah? Has that gotten better? I mean dude, yeah, for sure, Yeah, it get's It gets so

much. Not every day to people talking microphones. Yeah, that's honestly, that's the only weird part about it, because it's not like we can see a screen with our faces on it or something like if there's not an audience exactly, y'all can't Yeah, no, we can't. We can't. You can't you imagine if there was a live audience and we had feedback, I would are you saying that would be a good thing? Yeah? I feel

like I would hate that. Are you serious? Just like rolling, you know, getting them going and it's feeding and feeding, you know, like it might work the crowd. It'd be awesome. Yeah, worked the crowd. Yeah, it might be cool. It would be cool one day to do like like some live episodes in front of audiences or something. Yeah, that'd be pretty cool that. Jeremy, what's your favorite appearance that you've done so far on the show, like when it went of you? We literally

did that one today. Yeah, we recorded it today. Yeah. I you couldn't tell he's wearing the same thing you forgotten to change. I didn't change. I was wearing an other. I was wearing a Van's hoodie because it was like, you know, had had a scythe on it, and I thought that was pretty metal metal, had beer, had a six pack of beer on it. You know, dude, that's hard dude, that's hardcore. Bro. What are you wearing? More retro? You know, kind of like throw bus? What's that on your head? Uh? This

is my King of Pirate's hat. Is your what King of the Pirates hat? How did you get it? My little brother bought it for me? Which one you appreciate? Your beloved brother? I got? Glorify me like pining for who? Which little brother? Oh? How thanks for the hat? Man? Yeah, dude, it was like. I was at that shop in Orlando, Florida a few weeks ago called Soupers saying, which is like soup with an A? And it's a Dragon ball Z themed ramen shop.

And I went there last year when we did the whole family like Disney thing. And then I popped in Florida this a couple of weeks ago to visit, you know, Jenny's aunt, and I went in there and they expanded and they opened a whole like pop shop, like with anime, pop figures, Pokemon cards, like all kinds of stuff. They had posters, crazy merchandise. And I saw that and I was like, Jenny, be honest, would I be delusional if I bought one of these for my brother?

Or no? I said, would I be delusional if I bought one of these for me? And she said yes? And I said, would you judge me if I bought one for my brother? And she said no, she just didn't want you to wear it. She didn't want me to spend forty bucks just to have two of them. But twenty bucks on one of them for him is fine, and she's right. Yeah, I like it a lot. It makes me feel like we had to get it.

I'm the king now. Well you know why I got it right. It would ripe it back to the twice Porn thing, because when we were recording Ocianos, if y'all haven't caught the twice Porn episode or y'all had no clue that we're in a band, we have a song called Opecianos the Cosmic Horror. And when we were recording that, well they're recording I'm not vocals. I was just showing on the couch and Jeremy was really getting into it, and it was his first time not just being a feature, but like being

you know, the vocals. And Jeremy was like looking at us things like you know, someday, if we ever go on stage, I'm gonna wear like clown wigs and shit, and I said, dude, you gotta wear the straw hat. A week later, I saw it, so I had to get it. Yeah, Destiny, I had it was like destiny. It was like a synchronicity to me, Jeremy is lufy. Yeah, I

appreciate it. That's a great compliment. What was it that I said when we were there where I get into ship when I do Oh dude, oh yeah, Ever, my god, this is this has been a phenomenon as long as I've known, came to me, as long as I've known Jeremy. He's done this. He just says things in ways that I've never heard before. And sometimes its orchestration. I have this note in my phone that like, anytime one of my friends says something like really funny, I type

it in there so I don't forget it. And this was like the latest intrigue. We were doing vocals and I guess he was just like he was like feeling really proud of it or something like that. It was like something and uh, and we were talking about it and then he just goes, dude, I get into shit when I do shit. Ever, I both just die laughing, and I'll say, I'm writing that down to my phone right now, like what did you say? Like I understood it, like

kind of, but I oh, I know, I get it. But yeah, but at the same time, I was like, that's not when he gets into a hobby, he goes on, that's what he means. But that's exactly what I know, exactly what you mean, of course, but the way that you said that, that was like from the heavens, like still orchestration of You're like, he's masterful his sentences ever, Yeah, like come on, her sentences are symphonic. Said last night, I said, I don't get that fuck of a much. Yeah, yeah, me

you last night? Oh yeah, I remember, I don't give that buck of a much. You're both You're both just like conductors with your with your words like wizards and sentences. Oh my god. Yeah. So um, before before we have to move on to our next exciting guest, talk about like your experience with blots of Senso because you're part of the family, has it brought you anything positive? What? What? How do you feel about

it? Just like that kind of thing? Yeah? Sure, um or bad and honestly, like I would say him, I guess, I guess the best episode that I was on. I think would we went when we were all together? Sibling? Yeah, Emily, I'm title dropping it, like it's nice to have people reach out and say nice things. Did you

get did you get that? That's so cool. Yeah, people reach out like friends that I made over the past several years, and friends talked to in a while, and just oh dude, just random people that like in your discord just reach out like, hey, you like this band. I'm like, dude, yeah, like I just you know, just simple interactions like that. So it's it's nice to always be you know, meeting new

people and um positive people as well and offering support and stuff. It's not that's kind of words you had, friends like reach out and yeah that's so cool. Yeah, for sure, like your friends, that's a homie, that's a homie, you know what I mean. Like you do an appearance on like your families, like your brother's podcast, whatever your homie goes and watch. That's a that's a ride or I've been having that too. Like you know, I moved to your school in the seventh grade, so I

for for kindergarten to seventh grade. I was in a different school district than Nick, and um, a lot of those kids from like before the age of twelve. Uh, well, some of those kids I went to elementary middle school with are are now reaching out to me and and talking about how they found the show, and it has brought me so much joy. Yeah, because most people, I feel like, go their whole life thinking like, man, that random friend I had from the third grade or the seventh

grade or whatever. I wonder if they remember me. But to have like someone be like, do you remember me from the fourth grade? I love your show. It brings it brings something that is indescribable, a joy. It's like a connection to somebody that you thought there wasn't a connection there anymore. Yeah, it's it's like it's like, Wow, I've made an impact on someone's life and they thought about me nearly twenty years later to let me know. That's beautiful, you know what I mean. It's a positive.

It's not about me. It's not about me. It's it's about how I've pacted them, and I haven't been in their life anymore from my perspective, you know. It's it's this isn't a normal circumstance. Yeah, you know, and it's it's wonderful. I love that powerful. Yeah, unlimited Baba, you are one. Tom Cruise on Oprah's cut couch up running around? Is that what he say? Yo? Y'all are seeing Ryan's true form right

now. This is Ryan's true form. True Earlier, we were taking the thumbnail for Emily's episode and Casey was taking it and she said, make Emily laughing right with, dude, I've hit a point in my life. I'm I'm turning thirty and like a few months, three months, I got a few years on me. I'm not like old old, but I'm like, you know, you ain't no Spring Chicken. I'm not I'm not Chicken.

And I'm like a third in the game, you know, And like I picked up some tricks and I'm kind of realizing, like you don't even need words to make people laugh. Oh for sure, you really don't. You just kind of like dis orientem so hard they don't know how to react, and all they can do is yeah, yeah, dude, as long as you get them to laugh, you did your job. Yeah. This this dude does it too. Yeah. All the Bledsoe kids are just like they

just want to shock you into love. We've been like traumatized, like beyond belief. You know. That's awesome. Should we drum roll for the next Yes, Jerry, Yeah, that was yeah, all right, We'll see you in like twenty minutes when I love you boys, d thank you, and uh, we're gonna have you on another episode soon. We're just gonna have to figure it out, so like in the next year, yeah, yeah, roughly, roughly within the next year or so, yeah, twelve

months. I love that You're true form is coming out right now. I just I don't know that you got you can't get off a closet door. What is this? Is this some kind of unprofessional production or what? Dude, don't be rate our guest. Oh sorry, this is our lovely guest. Hi, this is my why. Hi guys, Hey, I'm excited to be here. Can you may be really nervous on now, I'm wonder why. She was like yeah. I was like, she's the manager. She's like yeah, yeah, she's pulling the street and asked me to mention

that this hat is in the Christmas episode. You know why she's saying that because me and Jenny were at the Dollar Tree yesterday buying all the decorations and we're picking these hats out. While I was picking the hats out and she was helping me and gassing me up, and I was like, you know, it's so funny. We did the Christmas episode and I don't think we got a single comment about the hats we were wearing Santa Claus stripper hats.

Yeah it was Yeah, it didn't get a single comment. Nobody said anything. Nothing. We didn't even talk about this. But that's one of my favorite moments ever from the show was that episode with the Chinese New Year thing. Oh my god, I've probably watched that twenty times where you're like, what's the difference between New Year and Chinese New Year? I was doing for real, I was like a date. I was like, it's a different date, and then I just died. You go, dude, I was

being that real like that. That wasn't a bit. I really thought it was just I thought it was just like he shook his head and everybody I thought it was January. First, It's just like, it's weird Chinese we love New Year, Like I didn't. It's even funnier the second time. It really I didn't get it. But you know, can't you believe we've done one hundred episodes? No, not at all. I feel like when we said that we were doing a one hundred episodes this week, I was

like, are you sure about that it's been two years. I don't believe that, like its gone so fast. But also I'm not like sitting here doing the episodes, right, you know. You know what, there's only one podcast weekend. She wasn't here for. Oh yeah, I mean there's one in a couple maybe a couple. Okay, I get sad, gotta be at home with my cats, say need me. But for the most

part, you're here every You've been here the whole time. Yeah. Yeah, It's just like when people ask like, do you listen to the podcast, I'm like, yeah, it's just like a different experience. I'm their lives the other room. What was that? I'm sure this is gonna be interesting in three weeks. Are what are some of your like standout memories from doing the show. One of the things that comes to mind for me, maybe just to jog your memory. I love that like you and Jenny were

all excited outside the door during the Duncan episode. Duncan episode was like literally such a weird moment of just being like, who the fuck are we? We did this? Like this is huge and I thought for there was like a really behind the scenes we were worried for a moment that like what if this doesn't work, Like what if it doesn't go through or something happens something It happens all the time in podcasting. I I have this happened, I

can't appear on shows or they can't appear with me. It happened, and we were like what if we did all of this and like he just doesn't show up? And then I remember like us hearing you guys connect. It was literally like the moment like pause, I could feel like everything stopped and we're like, oh my god, wait, it's real, it's happening, Like this is not a this was Meanwhile, the whole time he's texting me like I'll see you later. Sometimes it's like it's too good to be true,

right, No, honest for real. I had a little bit of that feeling too for that episode. I was like, are we really about to do this? Yeah, this is literally about to happen. And he was so cool about it. Oh my god, no ego. He just he got right on our level and just like rolled with it. It was honestly a wonderful experience. Yeah. I hope we have the chance to get to do that with him again some day. If we don't once in a

lifetime totally Okay, Yeah, it was wonderful. I just I was so like, I have a video and it was like just such a happy, proud moment for me, like being on the other side of the door for like the last couple of years. It was just like, man, this is really real. This is big, this is huge. Like I know this guy, like I know a lot of these guys, but like right right, it was the first time that it felt like this is outside of

our sphere, you know, like this is this is big people. I think I've always loved the guest episodes though we were just talking about it. We were reminiscing about the hats because like all of us thought it'd be funny to wear a hat today. And then I was like, isn't it kind of funny that we're going down like memory lane because these are all just old

skit. Yes, these are from different episodes like you'll see. But and so we were talking about like our favorite guests, and I think one of mine was like I loved Marky and Bobby just because that was like such a I've always been interested in Mormonism. I just think it's a very fascinating subject. And like they were just really cool people. It was cool to like just talk to them and hang out with them. But then also whenever the podcast episode came out, it was like, oh my god, this is

crazy. The whole time I was hanging out with these two dudes and like, this is the story. Yeah, the whole time I had like your your dad was talking to me about it. That was excited. Oh yeah, Like I had family members and friends be like yo, that episode was crazy. He just has like a very good like storytelling. Kaden's mind is organized. Yes, I don't very organized. It's very impressive for someone who

knew like yeah, yeah, nightmare, nightmare. When he tells the story, you're like, oh wow, like yeah, so I loved that episode. Yeah, I would love to see Oh yeah, I would love for them to come back. And it's just like, no, it's going to happen. It's just they're in college or Mark. He's in college, right, So that's why we have to do it in the summer when he's like, it's going to happen summertime, dude. I'll play Fortnite with Markey all the time and we talk about all the time, like they are down.

It's just got to be in the summer. Oh, I can't wait. And again they want to move here. It might happen, but yeah, it's gonna happen. I love those guys, the wonderful people. I also loved the Vincent episode. Oh come on, yeah, because episode of my favorite. We're getting him soon. Vincent deserves like his own show, like he has one. I know, I'm just like he just yeah, he is a character, Like he is fully like a fully recognized individual who like

knows himself and like because of that, he is larger. But it's not an act. It's not that it's not a time to him. Outside of it, it's always the same stated his house and just like no, none of this, none of that. Nobody's there but Vincent, his wonderful wife, my wonderful wife, and me, the four of us all weekend together, just hanging out. And like he he really is that guy. He really is that spiritual guy. The you know, like it's not an act,

but like, yeah, when it is a character. When they were here and we got to like spend time with him and go to dinner and hang out at the house and all that stuff, and you know, I hung out with him at you're he was at my wedding, your wedding, Emily's wedding. You know, he is literally always like that type of person. And that's what I mean my character, not in a way like he's like an act, but like he literally is like a fully fledged was a

character. Yeah, it's it's it's just it's fun to be in his presence. His wife is one of the most like captivating people too. She She's somebody who like just has a very amazing, like amazing cadence. She talks very softly, well spoken, and she's very intelligent. Yea, I had the best time like hanging out with her. That's the thing we get to hang out with, Like everybody on the side of the podcast, like me and Jenny have our own experience with the podcast where you guys have had like

the front side of it. It's like, my god, we haven't even mentioned you do all of our art. Yeah, yeah, that's worth a mention, Yeah, like all of it this, Yeah, streamers look amazing. Weird was born Yeah art twice born art? Who you hang them up? Alex two Virgoes got chick. I don't, Yeah, I don't even sometimes I forget that I do the art, you know what I mean, because it's like such a hands on process, like we all work on it

together. It's been such a like a collaborative thing. Jenny has been like my sidekick for the whole thing. I couldn't have done any of the art without all of the input of everybody along the way, just like being like, you know, I think we should do this route, or even like our t shirts, like Nick had a really great idea that ended up. Yeah, I mean, it's it's weird, like this is something I don't know if we've ever talked about. Did you ever talk about the tattoo?

Like, Oh no, I don't think we did that that one so wait, oh no, no, don't. This is this is new stories I talk about. So somebody was, um, Tom Barber was wearing the hat on tour with the logo on it. He's wearing the blood So signature hat, and I guess one of his fans saw it and got a tattoo of our sidul on their body forever. And they never listened to the boddo got the tattoo because they liked it, because he said to get a tattoo of that. Yes, I was at his house and he told me the story.

Uh, they messaged him and they're like, yo, um what what kind of like do you recommend any tattoo? And he had the hat and they were like that symbols cool and he basically was like this, Yeah. I didn't even say what it meant or I didn't even thought it was just like now forever your rest. My art has been on a concert stage in

front of thousands of people too. Yeah, it's a weird thing. And even like the podcast art, I don't think about like how many times people listen to the podcast and not even like, oh, they just know what the artwork looks like. Ros Yeah, ask me your art is about to be on TV. Yeah, literally like national television, every gritty on the TV, a little wit hit the whitty on the TV, every bit of art that is that you guys see for Blitzer said so and twice Born is

all her. Yeah. All those Montra cards those have been really fun. I mean, I just like, I'm just really shocked at how kind the fans are. What are the Montra cards, because keep in mind we have like oh yeah for listeners than there are people who follow our Instagram. So like you describe on the Instagram right this second, stop your car pull over.

Jenny actually like really took the time to, um, want to do something intentional for our audience, because she likes doing these mantras montras or something we all have like really connected to. Um. So she was like, hey, listen, I think it'd be fun to post a mantra for our like listeners to have like like a visual cue rather than just a tweet or something. Yeah. Um So I was like, yeah, if we do that, though, let's make sure it's something like a message we really you

know, let's not just like stick any affirmation on it. To make sure it's something cool. Yeah. So we came up with like the whole theme and like what we wanted it to feel like. And it was a first time I've ever done a project that bag. I'm very proud of it because it was like something fun and cohesive that I've never really challenged myself to do. It's the first time I've really had fun doing digital art. And so, yeah, every every couple of months, if you haven't checked him out,

Jenny will make one a month. Yeah, every once a month. Yeah, so for the whole year, every month we're going to roll out. Just go to at Bloods said, so on you know Instagram, and if you look through for those who aren't super Instagram savvy, on on profiles. Now you can have these like wallpaper widgets scroll through or I'm sorry, I'm reading it's your story highlight sory highlights. Yeah, and there will be the first one says wallpapers and you click it or is it camera me?

You click it and it has these uh these wallpapers and you go through and you hold the button and it'll like make the screen blank and you could screenshot it. And these are custom made, Bloods said, so iPhone and I guess android wallpapers. Yes, yeah, and Jenny made all the sayings for them. She did a really great job. Um. And I think it's just nice because like I have this as our phone screen. Sometimes we'll like go on a podcast weekend and like go to pick up beside each other,

they're all iPhones were clear cases the same screen. Yeah, it's been kind of funny just to and it's nice to see like other people's phones. And like I remember one day we posted one. I think it was the one that was like I am worthy and somebody commented like thank you, and I was like, that's that's the whole point. That's all. It was just like for one person to see it and be like that and you look at it every day on your lock screen and it just burns it into subconscious like

it's it's just something to it. Yeah. I love that. I love those little things. And Jenny and Casey works so closely together. Yeah, and we'll talk more about that when Jenny comes on. Yeah, Jenny is a digital aspect. Jenny is like literally the engine of Bledsoe said, so, like it would not be I think the Bold be able to build the platform it is without Jenny. Like Jenny really has made the platform of Blaso said, So what it is is for our community to like talk to each

other. And yeah, Jenny, you wouldn't even get episodes on time if it wasn't for Jenna. Ever the same time on when we all wouldn't know when to everyone, just give your love to the true MVP, Jenny Bloods. But yeah, I was also thinking, like, um, the community is something that you guys have built, and I know that there's a lot of great episodes, but like that's the best thing that I think has come out of this podcast. Yeah, I said the exact same thing, and

your episode's amazing. Oh thank you. And I was shocked at like I had no expectation. I really did, and I was just like, okay, like maybe maybe somebody I know will watch this and be like, okay, cool, I know something about her. But like, it all been so nice the art of intuition. Go back in our catalog and check it out. Casey has an entire episode and it's wonderful. Yeah, just talk

about like religious trauma, and it's been nice. Taro Tarot, and it's been nice for people to come and like message me and be like that resonated with me. Or I got really into terror because of that, or I got back into Tarot because of that, or you know, I didn't think even just like talking about myself would make anybody feel any sort of way. Yeah, it's been like you don't think about it like that when you're doing it, but then when you do it and somebody you know reaches out and

said, like wow, that really helped me a lot. It's like I wasn't intending to do that, and the fact that I did that is incredible, Like that that's the byproduct of me just talking like Wow, that what a gift. Yeah. And it's like I felt like leaving it, I was like, oh my gosh, this is me. I felt selfish, like, oh I just kind of like use that timed event and like open

up about what I you know, the trauma that I've gone through. And I didn't think at all, like, don't underestimate that, That's what I'm saying. I didn't think at all because there are always people. There will always be someone out there who grass is always greener. It can always be worse too, and there's always going to be somebody out there who is in some sort of situation where they're watching content and they're looking at somebody and saying, wow, I can be like them too. Yeah. You know.

I think it's just like the fact that you guys, for one hundred episodes have come on here and authentically been yourselves over and over and over again and exposed your hearts and like shown people who you are from the inside out, like you have no I've told you both this personally, like you have no idea how much you are healing not only yourselves but the people around you. I think You're right, we really have no idea. And on that note, beautiful, you're out of here, rock on. What else can I

say? Thank you for blessing us with your presence and blessing of this project, with your beautiful art. I love you, beautiful, beautiful husband, beautiful presence. I love that um you have Like I couldn't be happier as a partner that, like my husband gets to do something so fun and so fucking fulfilling for him. So thank you, guys, Thank you. Now your next guest. Yeah, I don't know who it is. Actually, I don't say it. Don't say it. We're gonna Yeah, it's a

mystery. It's banger. We're keeping it a complete mystery. It's like a it's like a Eric Andre type thing, you know. Take my head to that. Yes, sor thank you sir? Yes, A lady you know her? Y'all love her? Did we just do an episode with you? Like? Yeah, like the last one? You tell We recorded it like an hour ago. She's wearing the same shirt. It was covered by a sweater. Oh okay, okay, yeah, yeah come on now dog awesome. I feel like you were just here. So it's like, well,

what should we talk about? What's up? I don't know, No, I mean this great and talk about the show. This This episode is all about looking back at one hundred episodes that hannot believe it's been a one hundred

episodes. Yeah, and just like reflecting on it, seems like yesterday that we were y'all were conceptualizing this and I was like, you know, unsure what it would be and not knowing, like having faith that it would be great, but not knowing really what would come of it, And just so proud looking back because like this is a really professional, professional like production and you're just my brother, you know, you're just my friends. So it's

like really kind of wild. I was saying, it felt like a lifetime ago. I know, we were like little babies. Yeah, like two years too. Like it literally feels like a complete different life. Yeah, another life, and it feels like an even farther away life that we were like literal teenagers playing Monopoly and Halo, Pokemon, Monopoly, Pokemon Monopoly. Remember you remember the night that Halo four was coming out and you and me did double We did double on for like an hour. We did doubles on

Halo three. We just we were just on. Remember we Halo three. I'm just saying we all went to the Halo four midnight release. Yeah, that's why she was with us. Yeah, it was so fine, That's what I'm saying. We did doubles on Halo three prior to the midnight release. Okay, then we win. We were wearing Halo shirts. We were like, hi, we were getting hype for Halo four. Yeah, this is our last hurrah and Halo three, like we're gonna do it. And

who knew this is what would be happening all these times? Yeah, I know you've been on the show probably like five or six times now easily, right, this might be the fifth. Yeah, I think you've had because I had two of and then the brother and sisters and two what ifs? Right? Oh two, so this is five, five or six? Yeah? Anyway, yeah, I think this is the six times. So were

you nervous at all your first time? Oh? Yeah, I mean the first two we did well, both of my individual like Emily Blood to Halloway episodes. If you remember, I cried after we stopped recording, right, yeah, I was just you know, it's personal stuff, like this isn't

just concepts we're talking here, this is literally our life. Yeah, and as happy and positive as it is now, like it's still very real and there's been a lot of hurts in the past we have dealt with, so it's just really cool that we could use this as a platform to not only

help others, but to help others through our own personal healing. And I was going to say my favorite episodes were Christopher's episode and your when Keeping It Real Goes Wrong episode, because I mean, other stuff we y'all talked about was really illuminating and amazing to hear, like, I love the Ageless Wisdom one that just came out. Oh my gosh, I was like, that

was that was amazing. I loved it. So anyway, there's stuff like that, but those two were, just as a sister, really special for me because Jeremy's were great too, but Christopher, you know, he was

different views, very nerve are fun. Jeremy's are more fun. And then Ryan's, um, the Keeping Your Role Goes Wrong that was it took a lot, you know, for you to publicly address something that you felt you needed to say, and I just really admired that, so good for you, Like, I don't know if you ever felt acknowledged for that, because I hardly even remember I remember the concept, but I don't remember when I said, Oh, dude, you were you were basically taking you just needed

to release all of that, and you've probably just didn't go back a lot of darkness at the time. Well yeah, And like for Christopher to go on there and publicly like spill how he did it just really touches me. And like for you to publicly go and acknowledge something you wish you would have done better is something that a lot of people, I don't know. I

wish more people would have that tree and I admire that. Yeah, so many people don't even have the self awareness to know they're doing something like that. But then it's a whole another step to say, I'm recognizing this and I'm going to publicly address it and tell everybody that I'm working on. And it wasn't something that I think anyone even pointed out that you had to apologize for. No one would have even known. You could have chosen not to,

but you just had to. But I have to keep my conscious clean, keep your conscious clean, because that's what this is about. It's not about your own personal feelings of some kind of vendetta against whatever. Not even that I'm honestly just following my conscience, yes, and it's just pulling me along. Yeah. You know. So this is a great place, and I feel like each time I've been on here, doesn't matter what the capacity was, I feel like I had some kind of release and I felt like

there was a little weight lifted off of me. Each time. There's something I want to add. I'm just so happy to be wearing this hat. And that's the Marky and Bobby I think I want to add to that, to steal it. It was it was particularly hard for Emily to come on the show for the first time. And this is something I know as her brother, and something that people don't understand from the outside looking in. Is now when we have this amazing book out, I say amazing because it's amazing

to me because it's my father, you know what I mean. Yeah, to me, it will always be amazing, despite what anybody else out there thinks. And I'm very happy about it. And we have this amazing book out that beautifully tells our life story, and people expect that we're just probably like talking about this all the time, especially we're doing the podcast now, but it has not been that way and Emily was the last member of our

family to come forward and start talking about the stuff. And I'm talking like fifteen years after it all started Emily coming on this podcast. When she first did, I guess it was twenty twenty one or twenty twenty two. I don't know exactly when you came on. It was in the first year, I think technically, well, actually no, I think it was early last year because then my second because you were the first episode of the following year.

Right, Okay, that's that checks out. But my point is that first time she appeared on the show is the first time the Emily openly acknowledged that she's involved with this stuff. She's having experiences, and our family members on Facebook and Instagram and whoever and whoever whatever social media app are now having the opportunity to see Emily and be like, oh, she's one of those crazy family members. It was incredible strength for her to come out and do

this show. It was like it was like you script into a new Emily and you've only been up ever since. I appreciate that. Yeah, And like, also, my whole life is surrounding, you know, being in the public eye as a performer, and you know I was a professor and all of these different things, like so it felt like acknowledging this stuff publicly had that as well, like I'm trying to perform in front of lots of people and you know, like it's there's a lot that goes with it.

So but I'm so glad I did. Um. Yeah, the reception has been wonderful. As your older brother, I'm telling you, and I'm telling the world, and you better be nice about it. You better respect. I'm telling you, Emily that I have seen you shed so much self doubt since coming on this show and making bloods of baby. And Emily may Or may not be appearing on the History Channel. We're allowed to say that.

Don't assume me. I don't assume me. Warner Brothers or we are allowed to say that, But Emily may Or may not be heavily appearing on that soon talking about the stuff. And my point is this girl has shown incredible growth, incredible strength, and y'all just don't understand what goes into her coming public about this being the kid that was expected. Shut your fucking mouth,

don't talk about this. Don't be one of those other crazy kids like your brother and your dad, who who's acknowledging this bullshit that's not really happening. That's how they treats. And Emily didn't listen to that and stepped into her power a lot. You're proud of you, very proud of you. And I use harsh language, you know, but but I'm trying to drive home a point, right, because that energy is how they treated us. That's

how it feels too, and that's how it was right. You know, they might not have been dropping f bombs and stuff, but that's that's how they you know, That's that's what it feels like. And despite that, here she is, uh huh, it's incredible and that's amazing. You should be proud of yourself. I'm proud. I'm proud, and I feel like it's definitely been worth it. I think I am, you know, on

the other end of a personal transformation, which're awakening great. No, I'm saying I think I'm past like a hump, yeah, in a in a in this particular transition, because there's a lot of like uncertainty in the middle of that process that feels like a struggle. But I'm starting to feel less of that and more of like the benefit so right, and I have a lot of this to think for that, So thank you. Thanks you guys.

Oh, come on, that's all you. It's you. Well, also like my big bro bros getting on here and doing this and like that's also really inspiring, so emily into you. I don't know that I could have done this in another like arena, like because it's you. But but it's used to say, who's to say? You could say maybe you would have, maybe you wouldn't have, but guessed what you did it okay and fair enough, I'll take it. It's you, but you allowed us to

facilitate it. Yeah, I needed to happen. We didn't give you the strength. You you claimed it just like I did. You know, just like you did. Nobody made anybody do anything. Yeah, we're all doing this together, but it's it's you. Well, I'm very thankful. I feel like this past year. I know we're celebrating like a hundred but like the past year has just been crazy for all of us, I think in our own ways. Yeah, and like I mean, I'm right, I've

so Nick is helping me record my albums. He's my producer, and I have dying. I have only one song left to record right that far along, I only have heard it. Oh yeah, there's only one left to record, and we're going to do it probably this week hopefully. Yeah. And then guess what, I haven't finished recording my first album, and I'm almost done with my second. I've already almost completely work. And let me and let me just put out a little teaser. Y'all are going to like

your jaws are going to hit the floor. This isn't I don't know. I mean, let him, let him, not him, gas you up. Yeah, I think this is a professional only trained performer and vocalist with a double masters in voice. She's playing piano on every song and singing and like, but the writing is the real genius. There's concepts, there's it's it is. It is like it's mature. It's very like robust and full like it's it's my baby. I'm proud, Oh god, you should be.

It's it's fanta And I think, I mean, I think that my first album, I talk like I'm an old writer. No, this is all within like less than a year. My first one. Is it an EP or an album? Seven seven songs? An album? It's it's like it doesn't matter yeah, so um, that's like, you know, very fond. I think of it fondly. It's like my baby, but my

second one I think is fire. I think third baby is you have blessed twice born and you're on one of our trends and now we're we're we're like that back like when we were kids playing drums and piano next to each other in church. Now we're playing sing song, the songs and Death Corse together. I don't know what genre it is. I haven't heard it sing song. I mean, it's not operas. Well, y'all are going to be in my album? Yeah? Oh, I wanted to say to you much

about it, but there will be a moment. There will be a moment even are you gonna be here tomorrow? We're gonna record some stuff tomorrow. If you're here, you can be in it. The genre is sing songy songs, sing songs. People ask me what a connoisseur. I never know. Honestly, it's honestly a pretty unique I don't Yeah, I never know what to say it is. It really is because it I don't even like to consider who I'm like, what I sound like, because that takes away

from me just creating what comes to me. Yeah, so if that comes out a sing songy songs and like, I don't know what to call it other than I've never been able to. Like I've been asked that too, like what what's what's her music? Like what is it? And I'm like, I can't, I can't. It's just me right, it is. It's you. I was very you. It's very singular, it's unique.

It's like it's fantastic. I've heard demos. I've heard very rough, like her recording her sing and play piano and iPhone, but I haven't heard like any of the production. And from what I've heard, I already cried, I'm talking she's recording herself on her iPhone. Yeah, oh yeah. The first time I played one of my songs for Ryan, it was just a video from my iPhone and he was just looking at it. And when the song was over, he turned his head and looked at me and he just

had tears streaming down his face and his mouth was open. He was like, that's amazing, just the tears flowing. I was just silently listening. I know, I thought you were just watching. I had no clue. It's some moving it is some very very moving Oh man, Yeah, it's like you stuck. You actually said this to me many months ago, and it's true. It's like you stuck a knife in your soul and then just

like stripped it open and por I did. He was asking me, like, how's the music, where I was like, it's literally like she she stabbed herself in the chest with a night bled out all. It's funny because

I'm just having like I'm just having a realization. It seems like literally talking about transformations in reflection, Like each time I've written a song, it didn't come along until I allowed myself to do that and to feel and no matter how like peppy sounding each song is, I had a moment where the song came together and I had like an intense like cry each time each song, it's because I've tried over yeah, and it doesn't matter what the context is

in the song. Like some of them more than others. Let's just say that, you know, some made me cry a lot more than others. And yeah, but like each time there was some miniature like release and like transformation. It's because so whether or not people are like this is the best thing I've ever written, it means like so much to me. Yeah, it's not just writing music. To write music, you're like you're you're it's

like a release, You're a piece of yourself. Each each song has come at a moment that was significant, like emotional or not significant, but just like very emotional, dude, or relevant. I just had a thought and then we we got to move on to the next I'm sorry to rush you out, but um, um, when your stuff comes out, I have no idea when this is going to be. Um, because of the nature

I just saw your head. I'm sorry, go ahead. Because of the nature of what your EP is about, which I'm not going to say right now. I think I said him go ahead, No you didn't. But because of the nature of what it is, we should do an episode on it. Yeah, and half her on it on my last episode maybe,

but who cares whatever it'll be of it. But yeah, but like well like when it when it when it's out like a promo, but also like it'll be a great episode for us because it's it's it's content like like you know, be so content, so like like the story, you know, And that's all I'm saying. Well, I'm prob of you guys. And I'm thankful for all of our listeners, our listeners, because I feel like this is my podcast too, just because of how much I care and how

close we all are. I know I do not put in any of the effort, but when I talk about it, I'm like our podcast our ya. I say that about Dad's like our book book. You know, Emily, you're all working together, my blood, so baby, it's your thing to like all of us. So anyway, my listeners, thank you. I love you. Um have a happy New Year. Year just looks like New Year. Bro, It does kind of feel like a New Year's. Happy New Year. Get out of here. You're free, all right.

Thanks Emily, You're the best. Happy New Year. She looked right at the camera went Happy New Year. Happy guys. This is an extra extra special guest. This is her first appearance on the show. Would you like to enter? I would love to introduce, so let me very happily bring on my wonderful friend Brandy. This is my wife and my sister's childhood bestie. The three of them were a pair. Randy has just been like our ride or die. Yes, And if you guys really look pretty close,

put the camera on her put the camera. Look look at that Look at that face. You might if you look, if you open your eyes a little bit, you might notice she's our hat and yeah, and our shirt model. This is the blood Sew said, so Muddel, Yeah, let's go. Yes, that is the best introduction ever. I mean, you know, it's facts so honestly, Like we've been talking about having you on the show like forever, yeah, and you've been like, I don't know what to talk about. I don't know what to talk about. Yeah,

I feel like I don't have anything to say. Yet you don't have anything to say. Yeah, where you're here now, so I'm playing. This is not the time to be shy. This is the party. This is like, okay, how about this? Um, I know you listen to the show. We talk about it all the time. You're here when we record. We're always hanging out yeah here, like almost every single time we record. When we're done with the episodes, we all go and hang out

and play quip lash or whatever. You're always here. So you lived I'm talking for you. Cut me off anytime. But you lived in Utah for ten years and then you just moved to Wilmington. So we've been like recently reunited. Yes, and in the past, well, most summers I would come back and visit as well. True, Like every summer I would try to come back for a little bit. True, But it's not the same

as living here. Yeah, so you lived here six months now. Yeah, and for six months now you've been here like free podcast weekend and like we're seeing you like sometimes like two three times a week. I mean lately we've been busy, you know, but like it feels like you're a part of the You're you're you're bloodso's rid or die true or ride or die, you know, you know, So like I like, what what what drew

you to the show? I mean, like the I know, you're like super spiritual, you're into like you know, all the I don't know, like super spiritual, you know, I don't want to say witchy, but like yeah, yeah, I mean, well I think I already told you this story, but I don't know if you've heard in Nick. When I was a child, I would literally pretend um that I was like this fairy

and I would just like make little potions all day. Yeah, And I had like a little like tree house, and then I also had like this little bush that I would love to play it, and I made it like a little hideout. So I've always just like really been into stuff like that.

Like I don't know it, I feel like it's deeper than that though, Like it was recently you were telling me you were like an adult and you realize, like, low key, my mom is really spiritual and it has been the whole time for real, and like been a big influence for sure. Really. Yes, So we also had a room. I think

it's like a sitting room or something. So we had like the front entrances and then there was a room where just like couches and tables, and then it was like our dining room led into the kitchen, so it was kind of like a sitting room. I guess I don't really know, but anyways, that was like decorated with like fairies all on the wall, just portraits of fairies. Yeah, so cool. Yeah, And we had like a fairy garden out back with like a fairy statue. You're a fairy pretty much

pretty much. It's pretty much. It's weird for me because like you having been you know, Jenny, I mean it was you and Jenny first, y'all, y'all really worthy, like inseparable, pay were Yeah, we were literally glued to each other, like me and Nick literally like friends for how long? You and Jenny since middle school ish? Sixth grade? Yeah? Yeah, sixth grade yeah, like eleven years old. Yeah, and like y'all, and then Emily came to your school and y'all kind of like adopted

her. And then I had an art class with Jenny and m before I moved, Yeah, right before I moved to Utah, we had a class altogether. So like, dude, for perspective, the first time I ever met my wife, Randy's there, I was there, like they were. They were in the car being driven home, and they were always together. So like, I guess like for the reason I wanted you on the show so bad. Today it's like for me, it's so weird that I've known

you all these years. You were like a package to Jenny, and then you moved away for ten years, you know, just things happened, you had to go to Utah, and all of a sudden you're back, and it's like things picked up right where they were right now you're back. But now it's like from my perspective, you know, you know, about all this stuff, all this phenomenon stuff. You're really into it. You're constantly

like, y'all don't see this, but like constantly during the week. There's sometimes well Randy, we'll see her three times a week, oh yeah, and Randy sometimes where a lot of times we're business on our schedules, it's minimum once a week, right. But the point never that y'all don't see the amount of time that I'm venting to Randy about my traumas and she's comforting me. That's beautiful and well because in a way I also went through the

same thing too before I left. Um, like we went to church as a family and everything like that, and so I kind of had a little bit of the same experiences as you did growing Yeah, like with some like religious trauma type stuff. Yeah, for sure, I don't think I knew that about you. It's not like like much or anything like to like traumatic. It was just like the culture there, well, the culture is is a lot of times, right, it's inherently traumatic, right, And my

family is very like open minded about things. And so we didn't go to church often, but we did occasionally, and like there was times where we went a lot in times where like we didn't go, so yeah, it was kind of like in and out, but I was still like around it and experienced some of it for sure. Yeah. Yeah, that stuff can be hard to reconcile with, like when you're older, Like you know, it doesn't really matter if you went like super frequently or less frequently or whatever.

It's just in depending on the church. Like you know, some churches are great, so you know, and they're very open and accepting and loving or whatever. But we live you know. Were you you talking about when you were in Utah? No one here here right, That's kind of what I was getting there. I used to go to Camp Dixie No way, you remember. I never went, but I was all the signs and stuff I went. We did like jewelry making and stuff like that. I went

Bro. I went to the Pentecostal Youth game. Oh yeah, oh yes, Like honestly, it was like every night there was a four hour sermon. Oh four hour sermon. Bro. I was fourteen. I wanted to play Xbox yeah, right, But what I was kind of getting at was like in the Bible Belt, I would say probably an unfortunate majority of the churches can have that very like traumatic kind of the fire and brandstone stuff can be really traumatic. It's very like in your face. Yeah, and it's

very like condemning and judge and stuff like that. Yeah. So and also being in Utah too, like being out there, Yes, very Mormon. And I feel like I came off the wrong way when I you know, when I say witchy, I don't mean disrespeckful, but but I get your vibe. You get my vibe. I don't mean I just don't know how to describe it. Like you're spiritual, but like not like I'm not Buddhist. I'm not you know what I mean? Oh yeah, And like you

have some really like I come over and sage this apartments. How would you describe it? I mean, yeah, spiritual really like it's just like big like sums it up like ye, she literally really interested everything. Remember like last week before we went to Oklahoma, you came over and we were having that conversation about the frequencies and the water, and you had this thought you were like, you know, what what did you say? You were Like

when I'm in the shower, it's like a like a cleansing. I do like a cleansing like meditation, like for like my end of day to kind of just like wash everything like out and down the drain, you know, like an energet. Yeah. Yeah, that's honestly a smart thing to do when you're already like in the shower, You're already taking care of yourself. And like I feel like care of the body also goes hand in hand with

like exactly energy care. Yeah, so what did I do? I started nerding out about this book and being like, Randy, you're onto something and like yeah the message, yeah, and like how water has a vibration to that stuff. We ended up talking about this so cool. We ended up talking about this for like an hour. And I'm probably like so annoying with this stuff, and you're you're a good sport and you never like saying anything, and like I learned something every time I come over. I love that.

I value Dandy so much because she's the only best friend of my wife that's not my sister or your wife. I mean, so so she's the she's the she's the one that's like, Okay, she's not my sister, she's not you know, my best friend's wife, So like I gotta like not annoy her too bad. But then you know that, you know what I mean. So I'm like, I'm like, you know, dumping all this stuff on you, and and she's such a good sport about it.

She'll sit there for and kind of like for me, it's practice. Yeah, but I feel like you have the bug for like I'm like interested in yeah yeah yeah, And like I made her sit through an hour of videos about like frequencies, showing her like the water stuff and like here's you. You're such a good sport about it, Like y'all, y'all just don't see like the conversations that we're having, like here before we record, and like today I'm calling because Jenny's gone today, so I'm calling Randy, like are

you showing up or what where are you at? Yeah? Where are you? Like we're recorded here late? Yeah, Like should I expect what are you? But no, like we I personally I appreciate you coming back into Jenny's life. Oh yeah, you know, obviously mine, but more importantly Jenny's. It brings her. It's been so crazy like since um I moved, we've still all kept in contact, like very close contact for that whole time. And that's exactly that's yeah, that's real friendship. That's real deep

connection. Yeah, and like it just brings Jenny so much joy that you're back in her life. And naturally, I'm the kind of guy where I'm like, I want to do anything to help her have joy. So I'm like, is Randy coming over? Do you need girl time? I will play Xbox literally, and there will be nights you'll come over and you don't even see me. I'm just like, I'm I'm playing a Fortnite or Star Wars or what like. I don't care, Like y'all can have the house.

I don't care, And I'm just I just appreciate your presence in our life, you know, And like I felt like, I know you don't feel like you have a lot to say on the show, or you feel like you feel maybe like you don't have anything to offer, but I don't think. So I wanted to have you on as like a thank you you made it on blit su set, so I'm honored to be here. So

Shifting Gears has the show brought you like anything positive? Oh? Yeah, for sure, Like getting closer to like you and Casey and like Alex and everybody, like I I went to have, like to having like zero friends in Utah to having like so many here and like still like we went to that concert and I met so many other people, so it's like I'm taking her to death core shows. Yeah, she's got the one direction that was on death metal fut that was funny. Yeah, that sure, it was

legendary. I had to wear it. It was like the perfect moment. Yeah you you you definitely like you you fit the vibe perfectly fit in like it was our fake Yeah, it was. We're all I'm always happy whenever you come over, because it's just it just adds another special ingredient to the exactly part of the chill time. Yeah, honestly, you're you're always good vibes. You are our ride or die. Yes, Yeah, yeah, literallys are mine like you guys support me of course of course his hands on

Instagram. Yes, let's go. Yes, absolutely. Is there like anything about the show that stuck out? Do you? I mean yeah, I mean I feel like I've definitely said this before, but I learned so much, Like um, like I didn't even know about like duncan Trustle or like rom Doss Like yeah, like I didn't know like a lot of the stuff that I'm like learning, listening and being here and being involved. So it's

like a whole different world it so is it? Really? It really is, and it's always been there, and it's like, how did I never hear anything about it? Eat? Yeah, because I mean it's the same for me and everything's connected. I love it. Yeah, I love it, love it, love it awesome. Well, I hope your first appearance on bled so sad was first not last. Yeah, Yes, I hope it was fun. I hope it was positive. I don't know, but I I fibbed, dude, no problem, it's our pleasure facts. I

fibbed. In the beginning of the episode, I said we had six guests tonight. One of those guests could not make it. It was Alex's fiance Someday. I wanted to say that because I want to put that out there. We'd love to have her on the show. So we have five guests tonight, we're down to our last one. If you'd be so kind as to go and get your knucklehead, my pinhead. Yeah, yes, thank you. Whoa hold on? You got a high five to producer. That's

part of it. You said, go get your knucklehead. They're they're like they're they're, they're, they're freaking trouble together. That's my baby. Yeah, it's Jawzy Bear. It's Jawzy Bear. Let's give it up for Randy though. Yeah, really killed it. She did great. Yeah, now we have the backbone of blood, so said so in the house, y'all. Oh that's fine. Yes, yeah, dude, you are. We've

been freaking blood behind the brain, the blood everything else. Yn. It's kind of like nice to have us foreign here to kind of like have this moment of reflection. Yeah, and it's nice to finish off with you because you're the manager of the whole thing. You're so intimately involved in every aspect of the show, so it's cool that we get to finish it off. Yes, the core squad also, like, excuse my outfit. I know this is a little bit more casual than I usually go, but it is

for all of you guys out. It's twelve ten in the morning, so just so you know, Yeah, we've been a lot going on to and we've been doing this all day. Yes, and also, this is the world's first introduction to Jasy Bear, who is jar okay. Yeah, so sin okay. I know this isn't about the show. But since the beginning, so ever since I've been friends with Casey and Nick specifically, um, I've always been Jungie. Always been Jungie. We always called it. I

don't know why. It just came out that way, and then it was like a thing within the friend group. So my name on quip Blash, which sometimes we do the game nights, it was always junk or Jungie. It was a well and on on Smash Brothers it's jung Yeah. Out of nowhere. I don't know what happened. I put on this hat, which was this is an homage to what episode fifty It was fifty. Yeah, we had the dollar tree hats, shout out. I can't wait to see

what happens on one. They did up their prices from a dollar to a dollar twenty five though that we're never going back, which is about get out of everybody. That's so we're really on a budget now a dollar like anyway, that's a trip. But now I just put this on and I just became jaw Z Bear. It just start happened. Dude, Oh my god, I can't tell you, guys, how many This is like real deep

behind the scenes inside baseball. I can't tell you guys how many times after the podcast we go out there and we just like chill and have fun and like all of us will make music with our mouths. And every person did it last night. Every person is a different instrument, and it's always like jazzy music. Yes, well it's jazzy bear, that's what I'm saying. So one night, Jenny has this hat on it and she just starts like talking in like a jazz like scatting like the but but the vibe I get

is like a nineteen twenties mobster who owns like a speakeasy jazz club. But it's a front like little snaps. Yeah, it's a little snaps. Yes, that's jawsy bear. Yes you see. Last night, Okay, apparently Mac DeMarco had come out with like an album that's just like purely grooves, Like it's just the whole entire thing is just small. So last night we

have that onto the beach. We went out to the beach and Gacy and I were just humming together and it's like it's very like close moment, like when you can like make like I can't imagine twice born like you guys are actually making music. Just me being Jawsy Bear and like being in that moment with whoever is in the room. Even that is like what's fun. It's fun and weird when you are doing it and you're realizing like I'm not even

like trying, You're just in sync with the other person. It is and it's almost I mean, I say all the time music is a psychic medium, but that's like, yeah, it feels like magic. Yeah, when you're just like flowing and stuff just coming out, it's fun. And we do it all the time. It's so much fun. It's fine. That's Jaws bear man. Okay, So favorite episodes, like a couple some of your favorites or some of your favorite no, no, no, before that,

when were you the most nervous? Yeah? I like that in reference to what just and a hundred episodes? When have you been the most let's go nervous nerve racked? He hit us with that earlier of an episode. Just any moment like part of the prompted journey. Oh, probably the hat commercial. Really, that was stressful. Nobody really watched the hack of her Hey check it out. Spend some time on that too much? Too much? Time on. We spend too much time on it. First time.

We're like we were coming out with our first merch item, which again like to think about two years ago, where we like it was just us. After here, we'll have some behind the scenes clips. We have a clip. You'll notice it. It does not look anything like this. It is our old living room. We recorded the first batch of episodes in our old living room empty. Okay, cool, So that'll be at the end.

Another thing too, that I just wanted to say was, um, you'll see some in the hubus behind the scenes footage some of the funny silliness from after the show too. You'll say, there's a nice little video of you just bsing whatever with Alex the commercial. But yes, the hack commercial was a lot. And then like we go and look at the YouTube like views and we're like excited, and then it's like, wait, like nobody even saw it video. Ye oh, it was so much fun to do,

and like it's not that's not the reason we haven't done it again. It's just like we've been so focused on the podcast episodes we haven't like really putting before. No, obviously, Jenny, you're gonna be ending the episode with us tonight. So like one thing I wanted to do. We don't have to do it right now, but I wanted to talk about like our big

ideas for the future. Keep that in mind. Yeah. Um, I want to say, like, if y'all have seen our Instagram, that is all Jenny huh really yeah, Randy, I love whenever you're like, like the DMS would be like hey Ryan, and I'm like, sorry, it's just me. Yeah, it's really all the socials right, yeah, pretty much? Oh yeah, stuff like just anything marketing. Again, my first gig is like marketing, so that's her actual day job. So like you want to school for yeah, well I want to flow into this. Okay,

flow into a job, have a day job. We all do. And then my second baby is Blexo Setzo, which is really just my baby baby and I love it very much. It is a very special project for me and it's a way for me to let out a creative Like, yeah, I know that you had asked. I could hear through the door you were asking some questions about like what is the podcast done? That's good for

you? And I would say, like letting out it's a very nice outlet for me because I wouldn't put this kind of content on my own page. I can't do that for my clients page. Like it's a special kind of content, yeah, that I can create, and it's just really fun and it's a very nice like routine for me, and it keeps me on track, so I really appreciate and it like scratches that creative Yes, yeah,

yes, that's so awesome. My third gig is sometimes I do weddings, okay during the day, like I'll coordinate and do weddings and I'm leading into something. I did a wedding today and on the way back, I just had such a fun time. The temperature was perfect. It was at a beach. It was seventy two degrees. It was just beautiful. The sunset was beautiful. And so after I was leaving and I was walking to my car, I had to walk quite away because I had to park at a

beach access, and I just was like feeling so thankful. In the moment, I just look up and I'm just like thank you, and I said it out loud, and then I said it three more times out even louder, because I was like, no, for real, thank you, like thank you, thank you, Like I want you to know. Anyway,

get in the car, drive for a little while. It was an hour drive, and all of a sudden, like I see a really bright flash in the sky and it had completely dimmed out, and I was just thinking about the podcast and like, okay, I'm going from wedding mode to now I'm heading toward the podcast. I have a lot of people at my house,

like just kind of thinking about, Okay, what's next. And around that time, like I saw this very bright flash in the sky and it completely dimmed out, and it was like it wasn't like an airplane where it moves but you can like still see the blank. It was like like you can tell when an airplane shifts in the sky, but I don't know. It was just and even if it wasn't anything, it was like a really sweet sign to me. And it kind of completed like the thank you chapter.

It's like you're welcome. You've been in this long enough to know that it wasn't nothing. It was you know what I mean. It was like literally like a year welcome. That's what I felt like it was. And I was just like and then heading heading into this and then being here, I just feel like and this whole day is just like centered around gratitude for the great day. Yes, we've just it's been very celebratory from what I've heard. Again, I was at the wedding, but I can tell from

the energy. Whenever I walked in, I was like, oh my gosh, we're having fun, well even for us, Like it's been like Nick and I woke up this morning, we went and got breakfast, We went got Starbucks, slammed it, went saw John Wick four in the middle of it from slamming coffee. No, no, no, really, John Wick four, get back, freaking Jeremy's here five minutes and obviously Casey's here, She's here. Jeremy and went out to lunch together. Yeah, that a

little lunch date. And then literally like five minutes later, Emily walks in like damn, like the whole cruise here, my brother's here, my sister's here, all for the one hundred and then we get and then Alex shows up about four thirty, and then Randy here a sing I called Randy because you weren't here. Usually you coordinate with Randy, and I knew you were going to be gone till like past nine pm tonight, so I called Randy. I'm like, Jenny's busy, where are you at? Like you know,

we're here, we're recording, we're gonna see you. We want you on, you know, and like it's it's been a great day just having fun and high vibes. Today must be a good day. Well, yesterday was a full moon. M I don't know, maybe connected, but vibe is whole and it really is today. Yeah, Well it's probably the hats. It's definitely a hundred. The hat Definitely Ryan ham picked these hat there's

so many. I always hand picked the hats and Ryan was knees. Okay, So there's the thing about the christ did we talk about how again we were really excited about the Christmas hats? No one said anything. I've said that, Oh, we didn't get a single comment. We there's so many things that we goiggle about internally that we're like, yeah, like on episode fifty, no one no one made it, like it's not a big deal, but like why why are you weren't doing it for us? Right?

Yeah, but like nobody's even acknowledging it, and nobody acknowledged the Disney They're not remember we wore Dinners. No one's even acknowledging the ship and it's so funny to us, We're like, how stupid? Was scratches that it? So we used to have a YouTube channel and it was really fun and again that would scratch that itch of just like let's be silly and then put it

out publicly. Oh yeah, and then like so many things that we do on the show are just for us because we just want to make ourselves laugh. Yeah. I remember we did the Divine Masculine episode. We had those fake cigars. Yeah, like when we're puffing them the whole time. Yeah, and they're like a third of the people are watching on YouTube. Yeah. Yeah, here's we had answer my favorite episode, yeah, or like a few of them. Yeah. I really liked Pinocchio. Okay, I

don't know why. It's a good one. I don't know why I had liked it so much though, because here's the thing. I fell asleep during the movie. Really, yeah I did, and I was upset because I was really much looking forward to it. But anyway, I really liked Pinocchio. I think I haven't even listened to this all the way. The light House episode that was a banger, Yeah, I had told Nick I was like, oh, my gosh, dude, like you just went in.

I could feel the passion. I was very excited about that, very giddy about that, and loved best thumbnail. Oh yeah, that is the whole. Yeah again, we had fun with that. Yea, the best thumbnail we've ever made. We will not top it. I really really liked Cosmic Horror. Yes, you said one of his favorites, and you said one of my favorites. Yeah, really, of mine was Lighthouse and Cousin. Yeah, um, guest wise, I really liked Um, Marky and Bobby.

I feel like, wow, everybody, everybody liked theirs. Yeah, we need to bring them back this summer. I really really enjoyed them. I don't Duncan Oh yeah, Duncan's was really good. I was well. Kasey and I were listening through the door meeting. We'll put that at the end too. Kasey and I were at the door listening. Yeah, we see, we talked, We talked, was in here. But feel awful of just repeating everyone's great. It's great because it's reinforcers continuity. Yeah,

yeah, exactly, it's true. No, that's a great idea. We should find that video and put that at the end, because that that's like it was real, like that that really happened. They were really out there, like giddy that that we were talking to duncan Trustle. Yeah, yeah, that was one of my that was like, oh my, that's like a bucket list check off for me, Like, yeah, that was so that's that's that's a kind of moment where you're like, wow, like the

world's kind of weird. Yeah, like I'm just like living with it, but also like anything is possible, Like you can achieve your dreams if you just if you just keep putting your foot forward. Honorable mention. One of my favorites that I didn't say earlier. Jim Carrey Greenman episode. Oh yeah, one of my favorites. Yeah yeah, we talked about Sonic Too, Yeah, and many others. Sonic Too. I didn't fall asleep during that one in the movie theater. I was just more like what am I watching?

Like I dragged her to it. She never just saw the first movie, Like, yeah, I just dragged her. I mean Jim carreyed it all right, though, like he did good, he did great. Yeah, I think like he was kind of the best part of that movie. Oh yeah, Well, and Sonic well yeah that too, and also the sonic, you know the main character of the come on, Yeah, well I think that I really, I really kind of just want to Oh man, I was trying to itch my head and then I realized that it just

feels like home. It's so comfortable. Yeah, these dollar try hats are really good anyway, they are not. And Nick, everyone knows you've got a bigger head. I mean, how does it feel for you? Bigger is not? Bigger is generous. I have a fucking huge head, okay, and it's tight on my head. Oh well, it's not a little. Every time y'all get a hat for me, I'm like, this isn't gonna fit, but I'd do it anyway. I could do some custom Um, you do enough, you do enough. What is that thing called whenever

you get your dress? Like hemmed alterations? Some alterations for you do anyway. So for real, I want to talk a little bit. I just want to go back to the beginning, like in our minds, because again I just can't believe this idea happened. The first plant, the first seed that was planted for blood, So setzo is probably what twenty nineteen, Yeah, when Alex brought it up first. That was actually twenty eighteen twenty when we first met, and I was like, nah, bro by Smiss.

Twenty twenty is when we were having serious because Nick, we've gotlier that year was going off about some sort of outlet for Ryan. Yeah. And then December, I remember we were having a for real talk Ryan. It was just Ryan and I and I was like Ryan was just kind of flustered about, oh my gosh, it's it's a big leave to do this right and get everybody involved, and like it's just a lot to think about. And

then thinking back, like like to think about all we've done. Just to interrupt myself again, that's wild to think like two years ago, if I would have known, like, Okay, you will achieve this in two years, I would have been like, okay, like we'll be fine, like

you know what I mean. But it's just a very daunting thought. So then finally, like Ryan and I have been talking, talking, talking, and I'm like, we need to just meet up and do a meeting for the first time and like talk about what we envisioned that this could be. And we took step by step. I remember I kind of like put a bug in Casey's ear about like, hey, can you like do the our

like? Is that fine? Like? And so, I mean her style is just perfect and it's exactly what when he wanted, which is what the show is, you know, but it can also be dark when needed. Yes, that's her specialty. Yep, exactly turning something. Really it's just dark. Yes, she's the perfect it's it's it's almost as if we were all meant to do that, and we all possess the necessary skills and gifts. Yeah, nearly. I've had her phone number already. Don't got to

do any emailing. So anyway, So Alex Plaint of the Seed hounded everybody, You hounded everybody. I was finally hounded Ryan, Like, you better just make an honorable mention. Nick makes all the music, Yeah, we haven't said for the podcast. All the special songs too. We've had a blast with such as the heavy metal one which is in the twice Worn episode, the hat commercial, the yoga one. Yoga. I mean I made three songs for the yoga video. Yeah, the fire it's very good.

Yeah, I had so much fun. I was showing Raven. I was showing him to Raven the other night. And you made the rock song in the Senior episode, right, and the piano that plays through it in the Siblings episode. If there's ever been music on Pleasure, Yeah, people are commenting on that theme song really yes, Yeah, Like Olivia wanted me to tell you that she loves the full disclosure O. Hell yeah. D Ryan was just like I want something like kind of like vapor wavy or whatever,

but like but like emotional emotion deeper. Yeah, do you use the word? Um? Maybe was it pensive or maybe it was it was I know what I expressed. It was like I wanted to be deep. This is serious. This is a very serious show. And now it was like, yeah it was. I mean all the music is like a download. It's all a download. I just like heard it, did it whatever, But yeah, if you hear any any music on the show, it's I made

it. And honestly, the pattern here is that it's just like we're doing it because we're very serious about the message and because we want people to like receive positivity and like get something from it. But also it's like, again we've said this before, it's just like our own just like fun thing to do and healing, and it's kind of like totally. We're all expressing ourselves in in unique ways to ourselves. Yeah for sure. Yeah, and I

don't even know what I was saying before. That's just is that the story of our lives here, I said, even Atlox, where the switchboard is expressing himself, he's getting to be at the command center. Let's fast forward. Okay, hold on, so we do this whole, we start everything. We're excited about it, you know, episode one zero two, and we're recording in our old place. This is our new place. We've record in our apartment. We've said this a few times, and so this is

our guest bedroom. This is where Nick and Casey sleep at night. When this is we've never acknowledge he never said that. This son never was a memory foam mattress. It ain't that good. But then one day, one day, we're going to grow past this pullout couch. Yes, we're going to look back at this. So anyway, let's talk about the switchboard here. Yeah, at Alex's station, let's talk about it. When Alex got his little rocket ships spaceship, little switchboard, I've never seen Alex so giddy,

oh yeah, oh my gosh. When he gets to sit there and clack his buttons. You know what's funny that you're mentioning that we were When we were talking about nervous moments earlier, I asked him what his most nervous moment was, and he said it was the first time he used the switchboard. It's it's true evolution of our show and Alex really having to pressure himself to like, yeah hit but that first time ever, he said, he was completely so nervous. It wasn't the board, it was the pressure of

the episode. Yeah, it was like, okay, I get this wrong, worse. This is the one we started with the board, the one in the field. Yeah yeah, but not in the studio, in the field outside in the backyard. The hardest episode to manufacture. I would just keep getting things and bringing them to your house and putting them on this desk and not taking them home. So like now there's a monitor and a laptop

stand and like more chords than I've ever seen this in bro. He says that so many times she's like, this room is a fire it's a fire hazard. Alex's desk is a fire hazard. We I mean, I don't know if I should say this. We have like we have like ten thousand dollars worth of equipment like in this tiny little I mean base. Yeah it is. Yeah, well listen, we started out would trust me. That's true. We started out with twos and then all of a sudden, keeping

the records got his mic. Yes, not only that, we had to get a whole new interface that one camera, two cameras like this stuff too. You know what I mean? That figure is real. But like I thought you were counting like the drum set. No, I'm talking to a podcast I'm talking about and then this mic, and then we got and it's all plugged into all these it's this about I'm gonna talking about the Elephant in the Room, episode number four, honorable mention. What that's the name of

episode number four? What is it? The elephant in the room. Oh my gosh, you're right. See that feels like a past life. I should have done this episode, but only talking titles about this studio room. It's okay, it's our guest room. Love that I have a nice little closet storage closet. I find I get a lot of pride out of that, just organizing podcast stuff. That makes me I'm a capricorn. I get very excited about those things. I got some new bins from Ikea that I

put her stuff in, labeled them. Anyway, that's just the personality I think though. Lord God gave me a wife with a hyper organized to help me navigate this world. This is the elephant in the room. Something the audience doesn't see. Oh no, there's a giant drum set in here, giant drum set this room that we have to work around. It is right behind. It is scorn drum set. It is. It is my sweet baby Red and I I you know, I clean her Ryan Ryan Plazer, I clean her, I you know, dust her off. Yes I do.

I've shown you that before. Thank you. I clean her off? He ran right? What you call her candy apple round? No? No, it's um yeah, my first ever drum set I named blue candy for some reason when I was sixteen. So this one's yeah, it's candy apple. Yeah. But I call her baby. You know that anyway. So I just can't wait for the day that we expand a little more so that sweet little baby drum set Red can be in another room will really help. She's sure enough to have a room of her. Yeah, she's gonna grow

up. But anyway, but yeah, those are That's the day in the life of Bludsoe said, So it was like drum sets. Can you imagine the possibilities if that thing wasn't in the room? I have no choice, guys, Come on, I know. I am very supportive. Y'all bought it. It was a surprise gift to me from you. Guys. You're yelling as about it now? How dare you do? It feels like you're all yelling. Poor Katie Appls just sitting in the corners quietly like beat me. Very proud of us, very proud of us. Team. Yes,

this is the team. This is the team. And I'm so happy to have everybody here to like to celebrate with us. Yes, that's something we thought of for a while. I was like, what, it would be so nice to have people with us to kind of celebrate. This episode is a party. It's so special. It's so special. I hope that all of you are very proud of yourselves. I'm proud. Hey, I'm proud of myself. You should. Yes, I'm proud of myself works off on

this. Yeah, yes, I'm proud of one of us. But but yeah, and I'm proud of all of you, Yes, all of you, all you listeners, all your viewers. You know, we've heard your stories, we've seen you know, your comments about growth and seeing things, and you know, we may not reply to every message because it's impossible. Yeah, but we look at them and we love y'all. Yes, and we're so proud of y'all. The amount of times that I'm like, Ryan, did you see so and so said? Or even in the discord,

right, we have a really tight discord community. We know all we know, like we know them by their like handles. Yeah. Yeah, it'll be really a lot of them going to make this up, but it'll be like, oh my gosh, did you see xenon X five to eight said blah blah blah. It's like, we have no idea what this person looks like. We know nothing about this person. Did you see that mean chicken nugget post? These are fire in there memes are hilarious, so fun,

Like I'll go again. I know I don't comment a lot. All I do was posting the announcement board was just kind of boring, Like I just feel like the principle or something like poss an announcement boards no, no, no, you're not the principal, you're then administrator. Those are worse, right, Those are worse because they actually like he's superintended hockey talk. Yeah, you're like walking around school like catching kids. Your principal just sits in

his office. I see the stuff posted in there, and there's multiple times a day where it makes me smile for sure. Yeah, like some of the stuff. There's some great people come up with this, or learning people's real names. Okay, the fact that I was looking, I don't know how it came across it, but I was like, Wizard in the Mountain's name is Frank. Yeah. Yeah, It's like, yeah, that's his name. But I'm just like, cool, that's my dad's name, which is why it stuck out. Demand. I was like, I just didn't

see that coming. Wow, Rose's name is actually Rose. Yeah, Cliff's name is Cliff. Yeah. Yeah, we talk about our patrons. Shout out Rose and Cliff. They've both got on the show at this point, both of those and Frank and Frank. Frank was he was on one of ten. Yeah. Yeah. It was the question that was like my child, my dad, Frank, shout out to my father in law, yes, fact, he's very proud of us. Yeah, that's that's amazing. That's really cool when like your parents are proud of you for the thing like

your passion project. That's like that warms my heart. Yeah. No, it's like, okay, like I've done it. I'm doing I'm doing something right. Like whenever you're whenever you're doing something and you're telling them, yeah, are you excited, they're just like wow. You're like okay, I don't like it. The second they're like yeah awesome, You're like wow, like I did something. Yeah, which is kind of sad. I want

to ask you all one more question. Okay, but what what do you what's your like ideal future with Blazo said, so, oh, I've thought about this a lot um obviously, as our viewership grows and stuff like that. The the ideal future for me is one this becomes our job. This becomes our main job that we can sink all of our time into. Um two, we do multiple episodes a week. To me, we just started yeah yeah, but I mean, che know, um multiple episodes a week.

Um, you know, just keep increasing the production value of the show. I would love for us to start streaming the episodes live or at least some of the episodes live. Even talking about that for a while. Yeah, And I've been pushing it, yes, and we've been thinking in our heads, okay, like how are we going to do it? Like what would the logistics be. It's something that we're wrapping our head around. For

sure, we're gonna get there. Um yeah, yeah, you know, just just things like that, just uh, really taking the show from where it is now and just continuing the natural growth that it's already been going through. Yeah. Uh, just doing it on a bigger scale where we can

reach more people and and see the community grow. And because you know, we have we have like what two between two and three hundred people in like the Discord community two something and and plus seeing every single day we're being flooded with all these beautiful, nice comments of people saying how much it changes their lives and how how happy they are and all this stuff. That's the most fulfilling thing for me. And even like the YouTube comments and the social comments

and all that stuff. I want to see those numbers grow more than anything because that means that we are helping more people. Yeah, that's it, real everyday people, that's it for me. That's the core of this project. That's the most meaningful part of this project to me. And like, so I just want more of that, more of that. Yeah, that's my answer, Jenny. Your ideal future, why, well, you're sitting next in line. I'm just looking. Yeah, okay, Alex, what's

your ideal future? So, like like big vision, like what do you see? Like, Wow, this is what I wish it would be, you know. I mean we're at one hundred, so we're dreaming of the future. When when we're at two hundred, we'll look back at this and we'll laugh because we might be there or not. I want a new chair. Oh my gosh, this chair by one. No, you want to know what Alex's chair is so creaky though, Like you didn't hear it in

the episodes, Get that it's a crappy chair. I brought it from home, really, yes, But honestly though, Alex, I like it because again, we're in a small space and it tucks really nicely under the desk. That's true. I'm not saying it's a bad chair. I know. It's just I understand though. Well, let's talk about it. We'll talk about it, all right, Cool, we'll get to it. Okay, maybe said maybe said, so Clause will come up with a new chair over

that. Okay. Is that all that you're looking forward to, Alex, Yeah, I'll be for real, bro, this is one hundred I'm being for real. That's all you wish for the future? Oh, I wish? But how do I go after Nick? Nick said everything he took everybody? I don't know, like having original thought for once? Hey, him, you know he likes it, likes it. I don't know. That's all I have really, Okay, So no, all I have is original thoughts, Brian, That's true. That's true, dude. I don't know.

I just want to keep helping people, like Nick said, and I just want to get more efficient, and that would mean that we get to do more I would like to have, you know, I would like to have more time to do this full time and with that, you know, just getting better at it. Yeah, in all forms. I mean my side of things is more the production side of things. And and I just like, I want to keep working with you guys, because I've never enjoyed

meeting more than I enjoy our Monday night meetings. At the end of the day, we have fun. Yeah, fun fact, we every Monday, pretty much every Monday, we do have blots of set Mondays at six third t think about us. We're in our meetings and we just talk about the podcast and what's coming up, yeah, for the upcoming week. It's a

little background whatever. Well, I agree with both of you of if I'm going to answer my own question, I'm finding, as we're like two years into this, that life is getting more and more depressing in between when we're doing this. I wish that we could get the podcast to a level of income that wasn't an expense or a detriment to the listener, and so that we could focus our time and energy doing this full time. Because I'm starting to realize, even though this is not a full time paying job, this

is the thing. Yeah, this is the thing that I live for. This is the thing that I feel like it's beneficial to my mind and my soul. And when I'm suffering from it, it is because I'm not doing it. Yeah, I feel that, you know what I mean? For sure? One thing that I want is I never got my ideal studio. I had a vision in my mind about how I wanted this to look, and one day we're going to do that. Oh yeah, we were not

able to achieve it in this space. I still really love it and it I love sitting in here sometimes, just like on a day after work, Ryan will be playing a drum set, shout out again, drum set, but and then I'll be sitting on the couch, just like in the room, and it's just like it's a nice place. I like being here. But I have an ideal studio on mine. I don't even want to talk about it. It does involve wall paint, yes, and two chairs, and one day I really want that. Everyone's like the couch, why have

it? Oh Alex, you's gonna have a chair. Now you're gonna have a whole command center. Well yeah, I yes, and Alex deserves that. Alex deserves a command center. I literally we were I've been looking at houses, okay, because I'm, you know, trying to out of this apartment eventually, and I was looking at him, and I was planning it around what would be the podcast room. There was one I was like, oh my gosh, that could be where Alex sits, and look like I

thought about those things. But anyway, that's one thing that I really am like looking forward to at some point. Again, it doesn't even mean like we have to go rent something separate. It's like if I just get a bigger room and decorating that, that'll make me really happy. That'll like itch that that other spot. And then also eventually being able to take these people that we've been communicating with and talking with so much, having the chance to

meet them in person at some point. Oh yeah, that's so we're talking about all of the helping and like, oh we want but like meeting these people in person, there's nothing like that, and we have met I want to say, is yeah special shout out to Ryan y. Yeah, randomly ran into him at Food Lion. He's like, wait are you Ryan? Are you Nick? And they're like a yeah, And anyway, ended up being friends with him. Ryan's met him for longch of few times we've been

over to his house. They cooked for us and just like being around him and wild speaking to somebody who like just normal cool. But he wanted But this is what's crazy about it. He just felt like we've known him forever. Yeah. Like I'm like I want to go back for so many even the people in the discord like it's like you just like if we ever met in person, like met these people in person, Yeah, I know that

it would like click. And I'm not even saying if it would be a private event, because I would be a lot even if it was eventually at like a conference or like an event of some sort. We've met some people at UM. Sam Tripoli did a thing at the Dojo of Comedy in New Jersey, and Ryan and I had gone and we met a few people there, and we met a few people at a Vegas event as well, Like people recognize this and it was like and it's what's happening. But it's just

fun to like meet people because you know you're like minded. Well, like my dad he goes to his first book signing in um people. Yeah,

yeah, people. We were in the blood, I said, so in California going into my dad's book signing and taking pictures and like it's mind blowing, man, And like that that's what I'm saying, Like and you're saying, and what Alex is saying warms up from them, like people people really believe in us, and like I think we're at the point now we're like we really really believe in us, and if we could get to that level, man, Like, I know what'll happen. There's no if, There

is no if. Yeah, it's just time. Time is the only thing. What did we say earlier? It's time and consistency and you can reach any goal. Yeah, it's it. Time, consistency, PIXI US is all you need. That's it. That's what I think about. It's true. But anyway, congrats, congrats to you, Grets to Alex. Alex'spisode for first and alphabetic quarter. Do you know why Alex's episode was fire? Why it was so it was so good because imagine my perspective, man,

y'all are the ones that switched. Yeah, I didn't. Yeah, and I'm sitting here having the same conversation that we always have. Amazing, you know, to me, like fun conversations. But Alex is on the couch with me, and I look over and Nick is on the monitor, and like for me, it was like just like flip him. But nothing changed for me, right right, And to me it was so fun. I'm sure for y'all it was amazing for exactly a different reason. Yeah, but

Alex had to come from any of us, it was differently amazing. Yeah, it was really fun. Yeah, doing it. I was like nervous at first, but then I was like, fine, I got it. I honestly would love to do one episode just for the sake of it where I sit there and if we don't, that's if YA don't trust me doing that, that's cool. I trust you, but that'd be Bryan is a boomer when it comes to technol does not get technology. That's just job security

for me. Yeah, oh my gosh. I Alex to send that before he literally said, nah, that's okay, because Ryan's like, why don't you teach me at some point and he goes, nah, it's his job security anything. Yeah, we've all got job security here, boys. Facts. We ain't never gonna stop. Yeah for real, what do you say? We go out there and celebrate. Let's do it all right? Thank you? Wait? Should I exit or what? My guys? And ready, let's hit them with it. Thank you all for being here for a

hundred, happy big one hundred, happy new year. As Emily said, well it's a new a new chapter. There you go, let's do it. Yeah, all right, it's a new podcast here, Rock on to one. We'll see you in one on one. Weird Things Happened in the backyard of Les House. Yeah, I got so weird kind of clutch your too, like smiraling on the inside of the no one, no wows come. I never t shine happy,