Big bank and what it is screams. You don't be on nothing.
I be on BBJ.
Okay, so let me ask you bring.
You big big facts.
Right now.
Visit the new website today Big factspod dot com line.
From the Culture Lab.
It's time for big facts, Big Bank, baby j d J scream Today we have a podcast motivational speaker. Author is so much more shape a k A free a k A. Doctor Angelus c right is in the building.
Did I get it all right? Yeah?
You got a lot of hand Listen.
You can say she ran the down.
You said so her.
We can curse hold on first of all, Okay, curse case.
This big that has rules.
Now we can't cause I got smoking in my pocket.
Smoke down.
This is free facts today, making free to that.
Yeah, what's up with You're welcome, Welcome, welcome.
Thank y'all for having me.
Thank you excited about this commsation with We're gonna have today, which is gonna touch on whatever we feel is on our heart?
What's on your heart today? How you feeling? What's your mood? Like?
My mood is grateful. I'm grateful mood, just thankful everything and just continue to believe that's my mood, always just trying to wake up in a positive mindset and just think about evenless possibilities because everything that they say you can't be you a feeling. Just trying to be that example and show like, nah, you could do you could do it, If I could do it, you could do it.
Right, do you believe in second chances? Like? Do you believe in second chances?
I am a second chance?
For sure? For sure?
From the beginning, why you're a second chance Because a lot of people that might not be familiar with your story might not understand why you're so grateful and why you're so appreciative of second chances.
Okay, so even before prison.
Yeah, let's go back to the beginning when Fee was like a little feed coming up doing her thing, you know whatever, whatever, and then we can like lead into what caused you to need that second chance?
Okay. I grew up in a two pairent home. Dad was a pastor, mom was a stay at home wife. Like we I was really literally raised like the Cosmics. We sat down and ate dinner together every night, set a Bible verse before I ate dinner. But it's like as you get older and you getting ready to get off the porch. I've always been attracted to the lights, money, fast cars. I've always been attracted to And then just got in the habit of Dayton dope boys. And from Dayton dope boys came to Atlanta.
Of African American females. Yeah, yeah, people, because it's that excitement. It's the excitement.
And then too, what I realized, Jay, was when your father's a pastor, all you see is that he's powerful. You see people draw themselves to past them. So that's how I like correlated my men wanted them powerful, wanted wanted everybody, the one that everybody was drawn to. And and in that I've also it's just been like the girl that uh if you tell me that's the age I gotta see, you know, I gotta press the got
the people I gotta Yeah. So, you know, coming came to college and being a city girl coming to Atlanta, people always think Atlanta slow. You know, from up north. I'm from Jersey, so you would think the South is slower, but it's really not. And and got a hold to that West Side and the next thing and all that, and before you know it, Uh, it started off with weed. You know what I mean just showing people where they could get weed from in Bond City with my play
brother Carlos. And then that escalated and escalated. Then uh met the family and and and from there it was headfirst into the streets. Okay, yeah, yeah, But to your question about a second chance, not only from prison, but needing a second chance from being I was. I feel like God gave me more than a second chance. It was. For example, it was one time that I had a rute that I didn't hustle after dark. But this one day I bent the roof for one of my homeboys.
It was around Thanksgiving. He needed some weed. I wasn't even into weed, and I went to go do it for him. And when I went to go meet my homeboys, went in there witness spot you know what I mean, everything the money, you know. As they letting me out the burglar bar doors, some dudes ran in and robed like hog tied them had a space down. So in my head I'm thinking I'm a you know, execution style,
like they're gonna end up killing us. But in that moment, I cried out to God, like Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me. And from there. You know, that was a chance, and then it was times too the house get kicked in, they overlooked stuff. That was another chance. And then being in prison and now being home once again, I've been afforded another chance, so I'll say a second chance. I always say another chance.
How long were you in prison?
I ended up serving fourteen years. Originally I was sentenced to thirty years, as the first time now valid offender had never been in no truck uh. I was a school teacher. I taught it getting in his elementary and but because of the amount of drugs, I was charged with one hundred and fifty four kilos of cocaine. And when you don't cooperate and play that game with the government,
that's what happened. So they gave me thirty years, and I fought and fought and fought and fought, never gave up, and just kept telling myself like I'm gonna get out, It'll be I'm gonna get out, I'm gonna go home. To the point people thought I was crazy, I would sit down and write President Obama every Sunday. Every Sunday, I wrote that man, because I just felt like I was the poster child for redemption. I'm not typically the person who ends up in prison. I'm educated, and I
wanted to. I wanted America to know, like the drug laws, they're crazy there. Rather you be a terrorist, terrorists get less time. They're rather you a murder, a rapist, a child molester, they get less time. Not saying that one sin is better than the other. But drug laws was not only tearing up our commune, it was just tearing generations to come that people don't even realize. So I just fought and fought, and then when Trump got into office, he was able to pass the what's called the first
Step Back, Yeah you member Obama administration. Obama started it, but it was Trump who was able to get it passed through the House in the Senate. And one of the clauses that changed was compassionate release. And it used to be where you can only compassion is if you sick or your primary caregiver sick. But they changed it and said if something was unusual, and we argued that my sentence was unusual. And so that's how I ended up coming home. Matter of fact, during.
COVID, how did you keep from like going back to the streets and doing what you know you do best?
Like how you how you keep from doing that?
Thinking about every time somebody telling me when I could go use the bathroom when I gotta get up. No, I rehabilitated me. Yeah, I rehabilitated me. And then not only that, man, the streets are not the same. You think I take a penitential chance with these dudes that's out here today, I went there. You couldn't get me to even introduce you to nobody to get nothing because there's no loyalty. People don't have morals anymore, you know what I mean? Before there did used to be some
sense of a cold. There's no coal no more, so why would I risk? And I feel like too, I still have that same hustle in me. It's just the product has to change. Now.
This some real shit because back in the day it was rad at a nigga told, But now it's rad at a nigga Keep it solid.
Man, let me tell you something. I am that chick.
Now.
I hate this saying. I always I hate this saying. How they say stand on business. But when you look at me, I'm not a pit of me that Yeah, yeah, because it ain't too many I put my hand on this. It ain't too many dudes that can even walk in my shoes. You get what I'm saying. And when them people come, when the fans come, it's like people just lose all self control. You forget what, you forget that how bad you was when you was getting money. You get what I'm saying, and all that goes out the window.
You don't think about it, and all you think about is saving yourself. You get what I'm saying. Like even when the people got me, I remember and during court that they said that one guy that testified against me, before they could even put him in a car, he said, what can I do to help myself? You think I'm gonna risk that. I'm not risking that no more. I'm not risking that no more. I gave up too much time I left. My son was ten, he was twenty five when I came home. I'm just not doing it.
And it's other ways to get money.
Yeah, so you you sawd me off camera like your dude told on you.
Yeah, you knew that.
That's what.
He was one of them that testified against me. But it was actually like so called friends. It was dudes who did not even know me, Like this, guy named Enus Jones. Right, you get up there and you tell them people that you got four kilos for me. You couldn't even afford four kilothes. You get what I'm saying. But that's how the fans are when they want to build a case against you. They don't care if Scream don't know you, they don't care if Jay don't know you.
They just gonna say, show, show a picture of you. They see you, and they gonna basically tell you what to say. And you get up there and you get Tama. Yeah. So my boyfriend wasn't the only one that told on me. He was one of the ones, but it was a lot of dudes that ended up being ten dudes and two girls.
So did you did you?
Did you forgive them or what? Yeah? Yeah, yeah forget It took some time. It took some time doing prison. I really worked on myself, you get what I'm saying, because I haven't always I'm not gonna say that I was. I've never been a grinny chick. Right, No, no dude could cohurse me. You know how dudes try to get girls to set dudes up and stuff like that. I'm not that chick. I'm not the one. I'm not doing none of that. So I never been grinny, but I did have certain ways to me, you know, and it
kind of came along with the territory. But I realized that in all order for me to even move forward in life, I had to let that go. And it took about eight years into my bed and I knew I had truly forgave, forgave them when his name could be mentioned, and it didn't bother me. My noses starts sweating, or I ain't get heat or anything like that, I don't care. I wish why Yeah. Yeah. Now, initially when I first got out, maybe this just happened maybe six
months ago. He one of my homeboys, face Tom and was like, and somebody want to talk to you, and he put them on the phone, and I went crazy. Now, y'all know I don't cursed, but that day, baby, I'll laid down some curson words. Man, What didn't I say? Yeah, didn't because I just couldn't believe he had the audacity saying he had some money for me. And even though I needed the money, your money not good enough for me. I don't want your money. You forgave him but you
just don't mess with him. You don't have to. You can forgive people, but that don't mean I have to be in your presence.
I agree.
Yeah, And I don't want your dirty taint of money. You can't buy me. You can't buy back them fourteen years that I lost. Now keep your money. I'm cool.
I probably got that money.
That's what my cousin money.
Yeah, that's what my cousin said to me, Like, man, you crazy. You can take that. Mom. I'm like, man, it's gonna come. One thing about it. I'm a money magnet. It's gonna come.
You feel like that she would have janinked your whole plate.
Man, Yeah, that's that's me saying I have not learned that.
You would have went and understood on the business right.
I mean I sold my soul once again for a dollar.
Yeah.
No, I'm cool. I'm cool. I rather I rather struggle get it out the mod have. But i'm'a get it than to take a handout from somebody.
Yeah.
Man, when I tell you, I could look myself in the mirror, I don't have no cause about My face is clean. Bank. I don't owe nobody nothing. I ain't I never did nobody wrong. I ain't rated nobody out, none of that. So when I look at me, I'm fool with me and I might not be to the level where I used to be or get the type of money that I used to get. But hey, that day.
Gonna come and it feel better though, because you're at peace, right, way?
You better? Yeah?
Yeah, So let me ask you this.
So during that those fourteen years, from a psychological standpoint, being knowing that you were being away from your family, knowing the way that you were being away from your son, knowing that this nigga that.
You were supposed to love and I was supposed to love you is one of the main people that did you in. How did you or what did you.
Do to help yourself start getting adjusted to life on the inside and start being able to help you make it through that bid without thinking about what.
Was going on in the free world.
It was hard in the beginning. It was hard. So let me go back and tell you this about karma. Right, So when I started messing with the dude was married and he ended up divorcing his wife for me. Right, So, my dude, do I.
Suld knew he would have You should have knew he would have told right then, Yeah, why because he was cheating? Nah?
Not because he's cheap, because he's what what what?
He what? My bad beca why are you leave it just because for you?
I'm just saying, not just like he's just some bullshit, but what I'm saying he left her.
Just for another woman.
Not just another woman.
I'm saying, Okay, a special one.
Okay, I'm saying, but but he was married, right if he can allow that, just showing he ain't got no lord to right now?
Am I right?
Wrong?
There's no reason now if this woman did something wrong to you, if she just wanted that woman, that's different.
Thank you know how to go when it get good to you?
Stop? But I ain't gonna leave my wife. And no bitch, no what no woman?
Right? Where's the job? Where's the job.
Paying five?
Okay?
Yeah?
Yeah, you didn't blocking the home.
But I mean I get what you said. You felt like, you know, there wasn't no lordy, but I don't know he not for it got good too, and and for no reason because my dude, dude was in prison, so i'll too.
Yeah, okay, but your dude was actually like away from the street. Okay, let me ask you a question inside of this question. Not trying to get off subject, but we just had a conversation about this, right, So we were talking about staying down with a nigga while he's locked up and all this stuff.
But I felt like.
If I'm okay, let's say you're my nigga, If you're my nigga and I'm with you and we're together or whatever, and I'm still talking to you like we're together, like on the phone and all of that, so then I'm not gonna forget around, like you know.
What I'm saying.
I'm not gonna I'm not gonna, Yeah, I'm not gonna mess around or like do anything that I wouldn't do while.
You were on the street.
But you know, it was a discussion like Okay, well after a certain amount of time this and that whatever whatever.
But like I said, I don't care how much time it is.
If I'm giving you the appearance or if I'm giving you the idea that we're still together, I'm going to stick to my word because as a woman, I wouldn't want that on me to know that I'm leading you on like and you're in.
She said, like you feel like you're supposed to stay down with Yeah, I'm wrong. I was dead wrong because he didn't have much time to begin, right, and he was getting ready to come home.
So what made you do it? What made you like?
Being greedy man down there? Didn't want my face scene down there until I had tone. So after like Dunham left, I went to Florida right right, and I had got a house and a hair salon nel salon down there. But I seen that it was I'm like, oh, this is a wide open city. They're paying twenty four and I could get him for seventeen. Oh. So what I called myself doing was getting him. You get what I'm saying. And it just it just backfired on me. But let
me tell you about this Jesus. But the guy that I cheated on, he stayed down with me the whole fourteen years. I promised to God. I promised to God. He stayed down the whole fourteen years. He did not even get in another relation top to like seven years into my big he did not. He kept like fighting out the pill lawyer, you know what I mean, Like was there for my son there with my family, like just even after I did all that, even if after
he had to read the paperwork and see everything. You know what I mean, He still stayed down with me the whole fourteen years right there. You know what I mean. He has a girlfriend, he has a little boy, but we just had that bond like that's that's.
My That's rare. That's rare.
That's rare and too he Okay, so you know when you do during FED time, people have to get approved to get on your miss It was kind of hard when you have a record. He got another ID, got approved in another name. He came to prison to see trying to be.
Nigga right straight up.
Yeah, so you know I just I mean, yeah, dude was wrong, but I got through it. Yeah yeah, yeah know me down.
Did that kind of like after what you've.
Been through for him to stay down with you like that, did that kind of like help restore your faith in humanity.
I don't think I really lost my faith in humanity. I told myself that I wasn't a good judge of people. My discernment wasn't paying attention to my gut feeling.
You know what I mean?
That discernment when your spirit tell you something, it needs to lead to your spirit.
But you can't blame yourself for that though all the time, because a lot of these niggas got some got some hell of a tricks. Yeah, that's true, like in real life, like to turn that shit on and turn that shit off.
To get past the discernment detectors.
Nah, you know, you know, but you might not.
You know, you overlook something, you gonna overlook something. You know, I'm telling before any destruction warning is right in your face. It's anything so many times that what I'm saying, you know, you just try to ignore the benefit of a doubt, you know what I'm saying, Like, I ain't even like that.
Yes he did. That's like the one of the other dudes who told on me, this dude named Eric, Right, I.
Call him out.
Yeah, yeah, I don't care. We were sitting at the table one day and I said to him, I said, what would you do if them people came? And you know what his response was, He's like, you never know to putting that situation.
He knew that he don't want to say, boy, I'm coming home.
Yeah yeah, yeah, And you know, but he told and he ain't even end up getting that much time. His baby mom ended up dying. Then you got out and you right back in with a whole nother thirty year BI.
That's what man, that's yeah, that's what.
That's what.
That's what happens when you don't do the right thing.
I just feel like more people need to realize, like, just don't get involved at all. You get what I'm saying. If you can't handle the consequences that come behind it, then just don't get involved in all. Just stay in your lane, whatever lane that is. Just stay in your lane. Because it's not that I'm not saying that it's an
easy pill to swallow. It's not easy to stand in front of Judge and he tell you at thirty years old, you got thirty years, You're not coming home in two thousand and thirty three, and it's only two thousand and said. It wasn't even in a double digit hit that alone close to thirty three. You know, it's not a hard pill. But I always been that type of person. I feel like people need to know, whatever you get yourself into, you have that innate ability to get yourself out of it.
Everything that you need is already within you. It's just that you have to tap in and you have to you have to stick to it and you can't give up. So my mind said, how you was asking what was my psychological? My psychological was just like a better day gonna come. And even on rainy days, my worst days, I used to be like, shay, yep, I just held on to it and I and I put the work in and I used to every day I got up,
I jobbed three miles. And when I jobbed three miles in the morning, I say, the prison doors are opening for me. Every morning. Every morning, I said it. And it was days that it was super cloudy, and it was times that I would prove myself to sleep and like nobody seen me cry myself to sleep, like when my son graduated or when he made it to the championship they played in the dome and I had to see it on TV. Times like that. But I still tell myself, Shay, a better day is coming, it's coming
to prison. Door's gonna open. And I plan and set out and did everything that I said I was gonna do. When I got ready to get here and my feet touched the ground, I was prepared because I believed that I was coming home.
Yeah.
People used to be like, oh, you're crazy, Oh, she's crazy. Oh that's the girl that says she's going home. Because every year they'd be like, oh, what's your dad. I'll be like this year, I'm going home this year, and that year come and I still be there. They I thought you was going home. I am, I'm going home this year, you know, and it's you know, people just thought I was crazy. But delusion, right. My tagline is
it's always delusion until they see it happen. So so part of being delusion is being a leader, being okay to be by you, to that different, to be over here, to be over there with scream at and we over here and we laughing and scream scream. Got to be okay with that. I'm okay with people calling me delusion because I know what's gonna happen in the end where you see the end result. You know what I'm saying. I knew you could do it. Oh no, you didn't know.
You didn't. Now you want to come around because you see. But I'm okay. I'm okay with playing by myself. I'm okay with being the outsider. I'm okay with looking crazy to I'm okay with you because I know the table's one turn right, yeah, all anything else.
Hey, we saw you was recently you pulled up to banks on link linking US, linking us, linking us right. So, how how do you feel about you know, uh, the jail system, feelings, trying to get back on track, living their life as it pertains the politics? You know what I'm saying, because I think that's one of the things that I was there to discuss, like how do you feel about it?
And how could we maybe make that better?
For one After that night, I don't even tell you I'm gonna end up running. I'm gonna really get involved in politicians. I just gotta figure out, you know, with me having a record, do I have to have a part? I just gotta figure out that aspect. There has to be people in place.
Who actually care.
You know, people on the outside looking in feel like everybody that's in prison deserved to be there and they don't deserve a second chance. But it's not until you go or one of your family members go and it's up close and personal for you. There's a lot of broken parts of the criminal justice system, not only the time, but even down to the prison system and how it's rent. You get what I'm saying, how mostly do prisoners take
over and run the prison? The sexual assaults, the way that like when I first came in, they allowed men to pat us down. When I first came to prison. It ended up changing when they created like what's called Priya, it ended up changing. But just stuff like that, you know what I mean. And I'm not a person that's against gay people or anything like that, but I feel like a known gay woman should not be able to strip search me. She liked what I got, Why is
she able to strip search me? Yeah, you know, especially when it's like you're known, you're you're married to a woman, and you're masculine. You're masculine, you know what I mean. Yet that's not why I had to fight for that. In prison, they called me a marty, but I did not mind. It was many times that I was put in the whole, but I felt like when I was in that place, I had to stand up even if nobody else was gonna be I'll bet a sacrificial land.
And that's how I feel now about especially that night, after being there in city Hall and after these laws that I'm paying attention that are passing, and it has to be people in place. We have to we have to start to break the system down piece by piece by piece, because no one wants to see it the go away because it's for profit, you know what I mean. They don't want to see it to go away. As much as Americas say that they want to stop mass incarceration,
they are doing absolutely nothing to stop it. The Body and Administration act like they was going to do so much for people who's in prison for marijuana. Marijuana is legal. Why y'all still allowing people to be in prison with life sentences. But these are the things that people really don't know if it does not directly affection.
Yeah, but I think a lot of a lot of a lot of things that people don't understand, especially when it comes to prisons outside the federal level. On the state level, is that most of the prist most of the prisons are privatized, and with the private prisons, private prisons as opposed to state run prisons, basically get to do whatever the fuck they want to do, and they don't have a system of checks and balances, They don't
have anybody that they have to enter to. But they're bored, which are people that are benefiting from the people being incarcerated.
So it's like.
It's not gonna benefit anybody for it to be a less amount of people locked up except for the people that are locked up.
Everybody else is profiting from it.
They're profiting from it. And how you say it's not governed, Like there's a lot of sexual assaults that go on women in state prison, federal prison. They make it seem like it's sexual assault. But girls in federal prison don't get rape. Girls in federal prison go because that's what they choose to do. But it's still considered rape because you're an officer and we're under you, and you don't supposed to you know, you don't. Yeah, you're supposed to
sleep with them. But it's just that prison, y'all is just like a different world. Yeah what I'm saying, it's a world within itself is what I called. And when I first got to prison, I did not understand the layer of the land. I really couldn't. I really couldn't even get with the layer of the land because I had never been in no trouble. And once I begin to learn it's just like how there's politics out here. It's prison politics too. Yeah sure, yeah, sure, And you
just have to learn the lay of the land. But yeah, the system does need to be broke down.
And then you also had a program that you started called Felons Rock while you were in there, right.
I started it inside, wrote it out inside. Everything that I'm doing now, it was birth from while I was inside. But he had Felons Rock, and I want to that was I did that because feelings have such a stigma, and a lot of people are embarrassed that they've been
in trouble before and that they're failing me. I don't care, you know what I mean, And I feel like once again I have to be the voice for those who have been in trouble to know like, that's not the end all be all, that's just a chapter that you went through. It's not your entire life. Life still goes on, and America has to become more acceptable to those because at the end of the day, we're coming home one day,
we're gonna be your neighbor. So you might as well try to find programs and jobs and everything to help people to reintegrate into society.
Right, So what office you're going for.
I think I need to start just at counseling first and then work my way up. But ultimately I wouldn't mind being in the Senate.
How I go for we commit the feeling.
That's what I gotta. I gotta research it. I gotta research it. But really, Bank, I'm believing that I'm gonna end up getting a party, you know what I mean. I believe I end up getting well. I just gotta keep working. Just what this month? Was it? This month? Yeah? I just received the Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award and it was for it's for Yeah, my name is forever the same ways and grave with that one two one one
zero one seven. It's now engraved as Lifetime Achievement Award from the President for my volunteer service that I do, you know, with kids and going back into the prisons and talking and everything. So I believe one day I have a party. I get that party, and I'll be able to get to send it and I probably could who give the president? Yeah, well, okay, for state, the governor can party, but when it's federal, the president has the party. Okay, Yeah, I vote for you.
I want to help with campaign.
Because I want I can tell you run ship.
I want to smoke my blunt right now.
But you said you can make a change.
Side though your energy every ten dollars go ahead, bus.
That's he's a he's a like a dub.
Thursday said a lot of Stuffigga.
I really did not say, nigga, because I've been catching myself when I've been saying stuff.
You at fifteen dollars zero.
Zero, right, Yeah, you're doing good.
You're working freight.
I mean we can get it due to discount. I ain't.
Okay, I ain't trimming about fifteen.
That's a good number, though I could do a hung all over this ship, nigga, big fact. But I think you really don't really just your whole earl, you know what I'm saying. But we're gonna get back to the to the B say how you feel.
About rats and just all around like rats.
Hold on, let means, let me let me put this up so we can you're good, Yeah, let's talk about them.
I feel like, like, what did you just do that? God saying? Don't want me say nothing to crazy. I just I feel like.
One word because you can speak one word, one word, one word about a.
Rat mm hm taking time?
Money?
Yeah, one word about a rat sacrifice may sacrifice.
Yea one word about love.
One word about love. M hm. Pure has to be.
I thought you were going to use the same sacrifice.
No, I say, love has to be pure, and it's work. It's worth, especially with me coming back home and not being with somebody like that for fourteen years. You know, I mean not just on st but you know, it just it takes some work. And and I'm kind of overbearing too, you know, I could be overbearing that time. And it's times that I can think that I'm an dude and want to hop out of my place. You get what I'm saying.
You gotta have a nigga that can balance that out and that understands like there's no harm intended with the overbearingness is just a part of you as a person, and you're working on that part and.
It's a process.
But you know, you still gotta you know, tug and pull and ship and stuff.
You know what I'm saying. Twenty five.
Y'all jump, so round it up.
It ain't no pressure on this ship. It's called our bad thousand.
Yeah, A cuss word, I promise you I'll turn to a different.
Word would be different.
But what I feel about love, I feel like like you said is in relationships is different.
Work?
Yeah, because we are different like you just say overbearing and shall tell you my wife is overbearn.
How long y'all been married, y'all been together? How long though?
Hm saluted?
A soluted? You got no because already no bank like you black? Yeah, yeah, you get what I'm saying. So it takes it takes a certain certain amount of woman to be able to deal with that sign but you and to stay down you just no, no, no, no, no, just.
Some women just look somewhere like that's my old g real ship, like a lot of ship.
That's that's ten more dollars, a lot of stuff that I did.
And what's behind her? Not like her?
Excellent?
Just I use her mindset? Even done, boy, I knock it off.
You got me mixed up?
That was being caught up.
No, no, no, no, no, not saying anything that I've ever done.
I told her, Are you did? Oh that's big Yeah, I'm gonna have to ask him when I see that's.
Pick up.
Yeah, And anything you've rather done, you told on yourself.
This.
I ain't never just got give nobody a.
Chance to the black man. No, no, I ain't saying no kids I'm.
Just saying I ain't really you know, I mean, you're gonna fielteen, you.
Know, I'm on some more real Yeah, men, not.
Puss is not a cuts We had fifty y'all ain't got damn all right, bro.
Y'all walking on it hand.
Love is forgiving, yea to be to forgive.
You can't forgive, you just might well leave people a man because things that like how women look at infidelity, that is the worst thing ever.
Men look at that mouth is the worst thing.
The Bible saying a nagging woman is like a dream and foster that never stops.
Yeah, we talked about this.
We just we start, we just we just we reborn. We rebirth os our relationship.
That's good. That's good.
Yeah, we newly so.
But I can say, though, you know, like all jokes aside, I think it's dope the transition you made.
Thank you, Yeah for sure.
Lest probably for my dog for that.
No, I mean yeah, I can imagine that. It's hard, but you really came a long way, you know, and it takes it takes discipline, and it takes being able to want to be the change too. So that's that's that's big.
I get inspired by people like you, you know, because it's possible. Like even my peers like Gucci Mane or somebody like that. Like I get inspired by that. Oh, it can happen, you know what I'm saying. We didn't see that happen. You're gonna go out bad right.
Right, but it can happen.
You know. At first it was just.
I don't know.
God good, he's super good. Yeah, he's super goods a struggle everything.
I think.
The biggest thing is you're happy though. Oh completely, I'm happy to see you happy. You're always a happy person.
Real, you know what.
I'm like, I don't have a bad day.
It's different when you don't have them demons on your back. It's totally you don't have them demons on your back. When them demons on your back and you're trying to get up and go throughout every day, you gotta worry about holy grimy dudes, people want your spot. It's just so much. Didn't your family want everything? You gotta take care of everybody because they always got their hands out. Man, it be a lot. So to be able to get up now and just figure out how I'm gonna get
another sponsor, wouldn't the walk gonna be. That's that's light. That's light work, you know what I mean. Like Bob always get yeah. I like sometime when I get ready to panic about something, Bob had to remind He was like, man, you did fourteen years. I know you're even the crawl with.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, you have to pull me back in.
Yeah.
Nah, that's not that's real. That's that's that's that's that's the real deal.
That's the real deal.
It's it's it's.
Hard that on this side though. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna tell you how I knew. And this I don't know if editing out or not. But when I shud forgetting my scrap, like have to turn around.
Man, I forgot my scrap?
Like what life doesn't change? Like I forget that when that should be the first thing before I why even.
Do that part? That part ain't I thought I'd be like that part ain't left for you.
I'll be like, you got your Yeah you know what I'm saying, Like you need a house of damn No, no, forgot I.
Gotta turn around get yeah, like that ship was crazy.
Yeah, but that just shows you to stop recording, stop take I'm just gonna pay fifty dollars. I'm done fifty for the day, I thought. She keeps pointing to me like that bro gonna cash.
Yeah, you can take the fifty though, and donated to like one of the kids. I got a little boy, Eliminade that's on probation and trying to change his life around that I.
Met through I'm a massress. Fifty for the nigga, I mean for the little dude.
I'm on it too, even though I freet or whatever.
So yeah, we could just donate that the customery could get donated to.
Oh for sure, that that's dope.
I think that really really dope.
And the kids, this motherfucking running up for the babies.
No, but being being an example, that's you know, if it was good now that people could look and say, oh she did it or he did it and have something to look up to, to amar or to to have a mark. You get what I'm saying, Like, Okay, you know, because who would ever thought right? Yeah? Who would ever thought right?
If you knew then what you know now, how would you.
Have moved different? Would you have moved with less people? Would you have read people a different way? Would you have just never maybe even gotten in the streets, Like, how would that change if you knew then what you know now.
I would have read people better. I still would have got in the streets. I still would have still, yeah, I can't lie. I ain't gonna tell them lie. I still would have got in the streets. But I would have read people, and I also would have see. My problem was too, is that I told y'all, if you tell me the age right there, I still gotta go see for myself. So I was warned through like dreams. My father called me one morning and told me, like God said you too high and mighty.
He gotta bring you down.
And I was like, oh, Daddy, get off my phone with that early in the morning. I don't want to hear that. But it was the warnings. And then I started to see people all around me get indicted. You know what I mean that The first indictment came two thousand and five, then two thousand and six. I still would not stop. I still kept going the fire high.
I'm still touching the fire. So too, I would have paid attention to the warnings because I don't feel like I would have ended up in prison if I had it just stopped right then and there when.
You got like a couple of the first warnings.
Yeah, prison may may have saved your life, though something worse.
Definitely, I wouldn't be sitting here with y'all. There's no doubt in my mind. I would be dead because for a woman, it's different hustling when it's a meaning. I did not date dudes here in Atlanta because I felt like they was just trying to get next to me, to get to see who the connect was, or to either rob me. You get what I'm saying, Robert Hill. So being in that type of game to that extent that I was, I wasn't you know, you was no little, I wasn't no mule, and I wasn't riding off my
dude that I am the dude. You get what I'm saying. But I'm saying, but I really was like doing my thing, you get what I'm saying. So I do feel like there's times that I could have been taken out. I do feel like I would have been dead. So yeah, I do feel like prison. Prison did save my life, and it was my wake up call to get back on what my true mission in life is and what my true destiny is. My destiny. I'm I'm a person that naturally draws people to me, just naturally.
You know.
I used it for the wrong way. It was easy for me to have a connect, easy for me to run with this dude to that dude because they know share. All she want to do is get money. She ain't bringing no no nothing, no, no shadiness whatsoever to it. So it was easy when I was using it front the wrong way when it really I should be motivating
people and expiring people. That's that's that's my calling to walk into my destiny, to help people to be free, to to break free from mindsets, generational curses, everything, to uplift and and and not to not to tear down.
What you think the biggest changes for like the city of Atlanta from when you went in and got out, and what is he different today?
Like the biggest one, I feel like that generation has changed. That's what I feel. I really feel like. You have to think about it. Back then, Yes, there was shooting and killing, but it wasn't Atlanta. Wasn't there, Yeah it, Atlanta wasn't known for twelve and thirteen year olds killing each other. And they definitely twelve and thirteen year Olds wasn't having switches back then. So to me, that's the biggest besides the landscape, you know what I mean, that's
the biggest change that I've seen. I feel like the generation is just totally different, totally different.
How long it took you write the book?
I wrote the book while I was in prison. You know what, I ain't even gonna lie to you. I ain't. You're gonna have to get it off Amazon. No lie, because look back. Let me tell you, I ain't had no more books. Let me look who book this is.
Oh yeah, that's hard. That's hard when you run up on it again too.
No.
I had sent it to her and it came back on return to sending and this was this was twenty twenty three. It's an Oprah. I want this book to be part of Oprah book Club, right so I said it know the address say undeliverable. So I gotta try to find another, you know another address.
I'm gonna help you with that.
But I wanted to be part of the book club. But I had to bring one today for y'all to see, for y'all to put up. But that that's that's Oprah's I don't know how to get it to it.
I'm gonna yeah, yeah, I'm going on Amazon by my own book.
You no, no, no, y'all. I want to hold him to this because he was just on my podcast maybe about a month ago, and he told me it was getting the book, didn't I see? You still don't have to Yeah, let's call it. Let's call it. Yeah, And remember you said five yeah, yeah, that's the part out either.
Order.
But yeah, So I wrote the book while I was in prison. Yeah, and just said that when I came home, I was going to I was going to publish it. And that's what I did. Said anything else? When I got big?
Did you have to spend any time or a lot of time in the hole?
Yes?
Yeah, I spent seventeen months in the whole one time I went in and October two thousand and nine, I came out February twenty eleven. I was light skinned from not having no sign not seventeen months, seventeen months.
How did you because I would lose it? So how did you mentally keep it? I would lose it? How did you keep it together?
You wouldn't lose it? Oh that's what you heard me, Like a couple of minutes ago say everything that you need is already within you to get through whatever situation it is. Right. So the reason why I was in there is because the government was playing games. So they was trying to make my homeboys and then next door, right they had just got them. They came after me, some of some of the other dudes came after me.
So they were saying, I was back on the writ that she's door if y'all don't take a plea, she gonna testify against y'all. But they was lying, so they was trying to use me as an intimidation factor for them not to go to trial, you know. But I had by then, I had been in prison probably like two two and a half years, so by then I had guards under you know, in my head like no, get this, take this, let over next door, you know,
to them or whatever. But I ended up doing the seventeen the seventeen months in there, and it wasn't easy, and it was days I used to cause you know, in that little nine x twelve, it's just a bed. The sink is connected to the toilet, right, and the toilet is just the bed, and the toilet is like that where your foot is to the bed is like that. And sometime I would look at that toilet then in that bed and be like, for real, Lord, this is what my life then came to. I'm like, this can't
be what my life then came to. Like, yes, I did do wrong, but come on now, I noticing what we're doing. But in that time, I started to write the book while I was in the hole. I wrote them. You know, started writing a book while I was in there. You just have to find another way to redirect your energy, to redirect your thoughts. And if you can do that, you can get through anything. Yes, yes, anything, It's just about redirected.
That's all that's real, because you gotta think when you ask a question stream. I was just thinking like a lot of stuff that I said, like I just doubt it for no reason, you know, being like the best thing for me, Like.
I can't start eating chicken, I just gotta have.
You know what I'm saying.
As soon as I go vgan, it's the best thing for me, I feel.
Good, calmer. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. It's just like we just doubts. We doubts and they probably be a subject off topic. But the stuff we doubt it'd be blessing inside.
Of this shit. Yeah. Yeah, you just have to push your way, push your way through. And I'm a firm believer anything. And it was people who was around me, you know what I mean, that a girl committed suicide in the hole, you know what I mean back there, and then they had made it where you had to have a bunky where it had to be two of y'all in the room together because they felt like if another person in there, then it can help, you know, help the other person. But I wasn't on psych mads
or none of that. You know. I always tell people God just wired me different. I just wired different.
Yeah, what you do for fun? Do you you know how to cook? Do you have a hobby that would be like not definitely.
Not for fun. Let's just standing on my feet start. Yeah, I do it, you know what I mean? But for fun? I right now screen, I'm really just trying to build my brandy. I'm going to drink.
You know.
I've been home two and a half years, right and it's just like there is no for one k for me, there is no social security for me. Oh that's out the window because I was gone. So now I have to build now where my grandkids are gonna be okay. So fun for me is, for one, figuring out this podcast game. Get what I'm saying. I look at it as that's another way to me. I'm looking at it
as the dope game, you know what I mean. And it's just about learning it, learning the land of it and the layout of it, and figuring out like this, the sponsorship and stuff. So that's my thumb right now. Build you know, building a brand. That's my thumb right now. But I like the shop.
Screen, that's what That's what I'm saying.
What ut of your cage?
Though?
Like? What roud are you?
Like? Like you just saying like he was like like Bob, just saying I know you ain't finna bitch you up now?
Like like what's wrong? What rid on me is when things don't go my way?
I'm scoring what makes your anxiety go up?
Fake phony dudes, fake phony people, That's what makes my anxiety go up. I feel like you stay from around me. You get what I'm saying. Just stay just stay from around me, and I have to.
Be here from sixteenth through the nineteen. I'll did you five of them ordered place?
Thanks?
No? You ordered audio. No I didn't. These are books. Let me say go back, y'all could.
Now and okay, thirty each, Okay, all right, okay.
It's a hard bag. You see that cover. You see that, and I.
Want to know when you take it's okay?
Yeah, okay, and we're gonna do it.
We're gonna do that.
About money, Yeah.
That's got money like.
It's supposed to be that.
Yeah.
I self published too, Yeah, I self published and I just put it on Amazon this year. The first year. I didn't put it on Amazon because I don't believe in the middle man. You can Yeah, and they were forty percent, and I'm like, why am I gonna get them forty percent? When I sat in the hole and broke. You can't do one.
Folk book game to the dope game.
You can't. You want to be podcast?
You know I'm talking you about it?
Got white time I learned that you want me calling me like, yo, shame man? Stopped playing with me? Man, How did you do that?
That's crazy? What do you enjoy about the podcast game?
I enjoy I like talking to people talking, you know, I like talking to people. My one of my friends, just to be like, you talk so much you make folks hate you, you know what I mean. But I feel like the podcast game, because you were talking, they were hating anywhere I say the podcast game, I like talking to people, and I like that it has really created another avenue for African American young people to get money.
Get what I'm saying, It's just about we have to really learn it, how they've learned it, and how they mastermind it. On on the other side, you know, Joe Rogan's and stuff. We just gotta you know, really get in there.
But I feel like they support each other, stick together to like yeah.
Yeah, and support one another because guess what, your lane ain't my lane, and my lane ain't y'all lane. You get what I'm saying. Everybody had their own lane. And if people can look at it like that, then we can be so much further. Ahand but you know, everybody want to be a gatekeeper. You know you know what the gatekeeper is. Don't want to tell you that, don't want to tell you to do this?
Where to get from?
Yeah?
Yeah?
What you like you?
Yeah, I'm because they feel like it's going hindered in maybe you hindering you, b I'm not want to bless other people. Yeah, yeah, so that that's what I like about it though.
You know, so our podcast thankfully does reach people in prisons that's currently serving times. So if somebody's in there may be frustrated with a broken spirit, like don't see don't may not believe they gonna see the daylight again, Like what would you what would you say to that person that's watching right now?
Number one, stay after TV bro stay out the TV room. Yeah the t okay, So the TV room it's just a brewing ground for fights, right and then ye, in the TV room, you're not what are you feeding your spirit? You feeding yourself that stuff that's on there. Right, I only watch sports and news, and still to this day, I watch sports and news. I might catch it if somebody say a movie real good or if you know, like we start watching a movie and something like that,
I might watch it. But I believe that while you're in there, you need to focus on everything that you can do to be better when you get out here.
Fact, and if you're constantly.
Sitting in front of the tail live vision, you're not learning anything. So I didn't tell live vision. Yes, it's a distraction towards your vision, right, I used to allow myself because you have to have balance. So I used to allow myself one hour junk TV. And what I consider junk TV is like reality TV or something like that. So my junk TV was the Kardashians. That's what I used to watch. And I watched what was that you was in Superfly? I would stay. But even in washing that, Yeah,
but even in watching that, guess what it did? It took me back to that era where I was getting money. You get what I'm saying. It's standing on top of the table and all the girls around throwing money in the air and all that. So I would tell them Number one, stay after after, tell my vision room you get what I'm saying. Number two, focus on what you want to do. Like I used to tell myself, if prison wasn't the barrier, what would I be doing?
Right?
So they have to remove prison from it. And number three, I tell them to meditate. Meditation is so good, you know what I mean? You so hyper won't stop because this is what you have to do. So when you when you begin meditating, right when you first starting out, and you can't get your brain to stop, start start saying something over and over again, affirmation like I am powerful,
I am powerful, I am powerful. The more you keep saying that, you can't hear your brain going because you're constantly saying.
I am powerful, I am powerful, and the vibrations from your voice block out the rest of the shit.
You're not saying I am powerful out loud. You're saying it to yourself, you know what I mean. You're sitting there saying to yourself over and over again. You do that, so you'll start off it. It'll be like five minutes. Next thing you know, you'll be able to go ten minutes, and then you will be able to just sit in silence. One of the guards used to tell me, why are you sitting up there on the hill like a monk looking at that bad wire?
Fair?
I told him, you see the bod wire. I can't see the bob wire. My mom ain't even here. Yeah, yeah, so you just meditation. Meditation is good too. And last I would tell them to stay away from the Debbie Dowters, right, yeah, stay away from because prison is a mecca, y'all. Are there was a mecca for Pi? Yeah? Yeah, people be all you could be in prison and it's just negative. You gotta deal with not only each other, but you gotta deal with the guards who come in there who
uh can't run their household at home. They come in there, they put that off on you. If something goes wrong at the top, it's gonna trickle down to the bottom to us. So you got to stay away from, you know, from negative you know, negative people.
Yeah, yeah, I like it, like like it. What's coming up for you? And let's talk about all your different endeavors. Like we got the book five of them on the way on my podcast.
Yeah, make sure y'all get the book though. It's put the Palace Mentality and it's ten key weight, ten key principles to see your way through your worst situation. So, like the first principle is it set responsibility.
No matter what's the foundation.
Yeah, you have to set responsibility. So before when I first got in trouble, I'll be saying, oh he told me, she told on me. That was me just pointing the fingers. But I had to shift and say, say, if you wasn't doing nothing to they wouldn't have nothing nothing. Yeah. So number one is to responsibility, and I give you number three is not to become bitter and whatever you can't become. Yeah, I help you for the right price. What you mean, what's the price for helping them?
Twit?
You keep hollering that something. No, no, no, no, no, not when we're in a contract together. I thought you said free. Yeah, we all for the free free? So what I do? Can I just give it you?
Just no?
I tell you even better. They have a they have a software that you can hook to the computer and you're talking to the microphone. It's gonna type for you. Yeah, but I help you with the foundation of.
How to start.
I could do that. Yeah, I can do that for you. But right now I'm focused on the podcast, which is called break free Free is spelled p h r e E. And if you haven't subscribed, you better.
Oh well you too.
I need to get me account. I just said that because I want to go come in. I want to go comment beef on our page.
You got, I'm gonna get it too. I'm saying I'm finna get me.
I'm gonna create me because I was just looking at our come in. I want to argue back now.
Yeah, I'm finishing today. For all you need is all you need?
Thank you? Yeah?
Yeah, make and make sure as soon as he set it up, he subscribed to Break Frost. I'm gonna come in, okay, all right, Yeah, so I just started it maybe about I think we're on the eighth episode, and it's more so a podcast geared to inspire others to get through whatever they've been through, not just prison, but anything. Like one week, we had a young woman on there that has breast cancer. But she's young, you know, tell us, don't go get a mamma grammar to you forty, but
she was under forty, you get what I'm saying. So she was sharing her story. And then this week right here is super dope to me. It's about molestation, right and the traumas that bring because it's not something that spoke about. So my whole mindset is to help others to break free from different things. I don't know if y'all know or not. Yeah, the inside is crowded, but it's more people out here that's in a prison than it is that those that are physically locked up, and
people walk around in the prison every day. Women, you know, I hate to see how women will just will settle just because a dude got money. And I ain't talking about nobody because I've been there, you get what I'm saying. I've been there before. I was in the streets, and even when I first came home, I found myself settling, you get what I'm saying, because I felt like I needed to get on my feet or I'm a mess with this no top million other nigga, because you know,
I need to get on my feet. But it's like we will settle and take anything because a dude feel like and I feel like, if we start putting our feet down, dudes won't be able to have two, three and four women because we all standing for the same thing. But as long as you got something that's just gonna stand for anything.
It's always gonna be some whole don't care about it. Ain't gonna go.
There because y'all gonna be some stand with y'all USO go ho boy, I'm sorry.
How many that with that?
Yeah?
But how we can successfully make the host of minorities?
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, But you know that's that's what That's what I'm just focused on, Uh, just getting a podcast out there, learning and learning the game, learning the business side of it, because you can record all day, but if you don't learn the business side. Well, y'all know, because y'all, y'all already been through it. Y'all y'all already,
are you get what I'm saying? So yeah, just trying to get to that next level in the podcast game and get more speaking engagements and release the second book. I'm gonna release a daily devotion three hundred and sixty five days of breaking free.
You would you do it like a documentary or movie about you?
I would love to. Yeah. My ultimate My ultimate dream is I want Tyler.
Perry to do my story.
I have a god see fit, you know. I mean, if it had to be a short story on Amazon or whatever had to be, I do know that my life is a story.
I think you really dope me again.
I think I think you're fuing amazing God like.
We do.
We do.
We got this thing called Big Facts Friday. But we just have this open discussion. I wanna bring you on there. A couple of times you.
Just told me I gotta do perspective. See what I'm saying. Now, let me tell y'all one thing about her Man tanz and mission uh and and but they then broke me in with him, and now he just thinks I'm just his personally. I'm gonna.
Friday.
They see I was supposed to do.
To the ship show.
I told him he interfild with my god. I go to church on Sundays. I ain't coming to the height right now.
This, no, this, I want to.
Said, she can do this panel. Yeah, y'all can do it together.
Really all of them, I said, listen, y'all the first got.
You see what I'm saying.
But I mean, you know, but I feel like you should be everywhere. Yeah, I'm just keeping it real because it ain't that many of us that's chosen. Yeah, so you should be everywhere because you are an example that you can be you. You know what I'm saying, a lot of people don't know that they can be them. It's still make it and still make it, you know what I'm saying that.
Yeah, And and people don't realize. Man, people accept you more when you're able to stand in your truth, when you able to be you. One night I had when a shin of airs that that's over the Airs Agency. So yeah, shant of super dope. She had me to go with her to she had an event for the next PLIX rustling, right, and so at the dinner. It was like a question under your table. So I could have easily got intimidated in something because I'm just coming home.
I'm in the room with movie execs and stuff like that. But I'm like no. So when they called on me like how do I owe my power? I stood up in all my power and let them know, Yeah I did do. I am a feeling. You get what I'm saying, But felling to me stands for front runner, eliminating labels, overcoming negativity. From the White House to the trap house. I'm still me, and I just feel like more people need to stand in who they are.
It's okay, Bars, It's okay. It's okay, Bars, not the whole thing. Bars, Yeah, run that back, real man. You gotta just stand in your truth.
Man.
That's I feel like that's the only thing what's fucking up the world.
Man.
People up being got on too many masks. You give me a chance to accept you.
For who you are.
If you be be you?
Yeah, Like I can't deal with that. But you you you. Every time I see you, you you.
If I see you being this way and you be this waiting, he another mother, say you this waiting.
People don't have to self esteem to be them. They don't have a self esteem to be themselves. That's the problem. They're not happy with themselves, so they.
Bank got a break.
Friend.
People don't have to self esteem to be themselves. They don't love theirs, that's the problem.
But I feel like if it's the more of us right that can stand out and be ourselves, and the more that they see people that look.
Like them, it becomes cool.
It becomes cool, it becomes the thing to be because like we went back a couple of snitch, it wasn't cool. Why everything has a phase. The Bible says to everything, Yeah, I'm ready for it to be over. Yeah, I'm ready. I'm ready for it to be over too. Because another thing about telling on somebody else, You're not just telling on that person, You're telling on this.
Whole family, right, you know what I mean.
You're not thinking about the children, the mom, the dad depends, you know what I mean? Like that was the I think the worst thing for me was seeing how bad I hurt my parents. That was hard for me to turn around. Y'all. No lie that we could court, that we could travel, my mom. I turned around. My mom was like a size fourteen when I first got in trouble in the week she went down to like a size eight. And my dad is like naturally dark skinned like I am. And I turned around and looked at
them one day in the court room. All of this was red, you get what I'm saying. So it was just and then my parents was already kind of up in age, you know what I mean. And the prosecutor was so nasty, like, oh, your parents gonna be dead when you get out of prison, trying to get me to tell and I was like, oh, you probably will be too, because I couldn't let it. I couldn't let
it stick to you know what I mean. If I hadn't let that stick to me, then it's like, oh, I probably do need to cooperate with them because I want to see my parents alive, you know what I'm saying. But I just counteracted, you know. So it's just it's just people need to realize it's standing standing who you are. And if you know you can't do no time, don't do the crime. Yeah, and and and don't be caught
up with people. I'm not getting in the car with nobody that I feel like still got something going on. In the streets because I'm putting myself in harms with I'm not gonna put nobody in a position to telling me get what I'm saying. Yeah, I don't even want to see your benness. I don't even want to see that.
Like Nigga to my pull up on pull up the spots. I'm not doing none of that because anything can happen. Brother, Yeah, anything, anything can happen to be no well around what you do.
What you do, I don't have nothing to do with that.
Do what you're doing. Kudos to You're gonna pray for you.
I cannot. Yeah, I don't even really hang out like I used to, you know what I mean, Like if it's one of my friend's birthday or something like that, I'll come out, but I don't.
I don't.
I don't really, I don't really go out like that. I'll go to like events, but to just be in the club how I used to be in the club. I ain't making no money, right, I've done it. I feel like I was alive in that era where we'll never see that era.
Err again.
Yeah, So I mean, you know, I've done it, and I'm just not putting myself in a position. I'd rather do things like I do now you like LinkedIn us stuff like that. I'd rather do stuff like that.
How you finish your way up on a doctor?
And I'm smart, see one thing you gotta know about her? So don't let me tell you. Let me tell you something. Man. I got books smart, I got street smarts, and I got common sense. Right, So nah, but I was they I got nominated for it. And then once they nominate you for it, like I probably could nominate you, right,
but then you still gotta do the leg work. Yeah, And then so you do the legwork, like the paper, the interview, it was like two interviews or whatever, and then you have to just like, uh like write out the things that you've been doing, you know what I mean, what you do?
You do?
Community stuff, the bank? That hard.
The nigga doctor, then you nigga doctor.
I would start calling him mister Joe Toomar always yeah you could. Yeah, watched doctor. I was just documents. They told them, move are you? Yeah? My name was doctor? Any time to be doctor? J Yeah. I told him. I told her about that day. I said, how do you like the sound of it? Doctor? And doctor? You see right?
Yeah?
Yeah, I told her like them guards, like one of them had. This girl had reached out to me and said she's seen the guard in the restaurant, like inbox me like free such and such said hi. I said, yeah, tell him. I told him I wouldn't see him again, but they'll see me again.
Did you do you keep do you keep in touch with like any people you locked up with?
Yeah?
I do?
Yeah, still down there and out Yeah, still down there. And my my two closest, my my T. This circle is girls that I met when I was in prison, you know, because it's just a different type of bond when you meet somebody. But now, don't get me wrong, it's a bunch of con artists and stuff. Yeah, but it really is some good, genuine people. And I was blessed to be to get around some really good people. So yeah, and then I still have one of my homegirls.
She's still in there, Max. We call her Max or whatever. The one JT wrapped about, which is that the only way I'm going back to TALLI is the holler at Max. She's still in there. So I hold her down, Yeah, I hold her damn talk to her and then jabo. You know, I told I told I told Jay he calling that three. I told her should be done about that. But yeah, I know what it's like to be in there. Sometime I do fall short, you know what I mean, like their email and I don't email right back, and
I have to tell myself, Shay, you was there. You know that feeling, you know, to do better. People. If y'all have anybody incarcerat, don't leave them for dead man. They coming home one day, Yeah, they coming home and that And that's the thing I say. Now, see, think when I get back on top right already, No, I ain't gonna have to worry about who I gotta take care of and looking out for you, because it's gonna
be a prerequency. What's you on that visitation list? Did you do anything for my son while I was going? Did you even try to check on my mother? The answer to not to any one of those questions. We ain't got none talking about I don't owe you nothing.
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