Why Your Achievements Will Never Make You Happy

Because what has happened is This lie that we've been told that we need to achieve and accomplish to be worthy, to be strong, to be valued as a man, has caused more quote unquote successful men to feel stress, empty, in pain, struggling, disconnected, depressed, and so the whole, well if you hustle, then you know, you, you grind, and you check all the boxes for, for being successful.

But the thing about it is, what we know to be true, and I have met so many of these men, who check all those boxes, who have the car, and the house, and the wife, and the kids, and the picket fence, and all the money that you can think of, but deep down, they're feeling disconnected, misaligned, and they feel like something is ultimately missing. Because those achievements that you have on the scoreboard of life, They don't create the fulfillment, for example, in life.

See, fulfillment is an inner game. So, for most men, they've been lied to think that the fulfillment comes from outside themselves. Well, if I've got the money, then I'll have the happy life. Then I'll have a great relationship. Then I'll have, whatever, the great vacations. Or, once I get the ripped abs, then the women are gonna like me. Or, you know, it goes on and on.

So, The things outside of you that you think are going to make you happy to think that if you just achieve them are actually What's holding you back?

So today we're gonna break down why your accomplishments aren't fulfilling you and what actually Does so men are conditioned and they're conditioned to measure their self worth Based on their achievements on the scoreboard of life So don't me just remind you that the scoreboard of life are the things that are generally outside of ourselves, from our money, our business, our relationships anything that is commonly measured as a, as a common myth of being successful. Think about it.

The vacations, the house, the cars, all that kind of stuff. So yes, and I, and you did hear me correctly. Your relationships are as well are put up on the scoreboard in this 3d world as a human and a being. The human dimension, that which makes us human, is outside of ourselves. The being dimension That which makes who you really are, the person, the spirit, the soul that filled this 3D meaty suit that you're in right now. See, that's who you really are, but we're disconnected from that.

So, it's important for us that, for, for men, I know you want to experience things in this human dimension. Notice I said the word experience. I didn't say achieve. So you know, I know you want to experience them. And what happens is is too many men who actually hit their goals actually create something of significance on the human dimension or in the accomplishment phase.

You know, they're the, the challenge that they, what happens is they, okay I got the, I got the hot wife and the nice car and the awesome business and the money. What happens is because it lacks the fulfillment, there's no foundation behind it. There's always a desire and a need to accomplish more So just because I got a bunch of money. I gotta get more just because I have Amazing vacations.

I gotta I gotta have greater ones More lavish ones just because I have, you know, that, that hot, sexy wife that you always wanted. But because you're lacking the fulfillment, you go out and you seek other women. In the idea that, that those women will then provide you the fulfillment you're looking for. When in fact, they do not. So, that disconnection from your true, authentic self is really what's causing you the challenge here.

Now, it doesn't help that society has really created this, this myth that indeed happiness lies in your achievements. So, we're going to help dispel that again and kind of break this down into some really easy digestible steps that you can take to disconnect yourself from this major problem. And the problem is this. On the human dimension, we are doing. On the being dimension, we're simply that, we're being.

I'm going to tell you, if no one's ever said this before, let me have the honor of saying it first. My friend, You are more than enough. Period. End of story. There's nothing more that you can create on the human dimension that's gonna make you enough to be full and whole and fulfilled. You are enough and it's time for you to start realizing that. So, it starts with a mind shift. Like anything, baby, it starts with a mind shift.

And this, this whole element of achievement is no different because it's ingrained. You have patterns. You have habits. You have a paradigm that's been formed from very early on. And in fact, I'll tell you, if you've ever played as a, as a longtime athlete, if you've ever been an athlete yourself, you are actually put up on this scoreboard of achieving and accomplishing.

From, you know, being knee high because say, for example, one of your parents guardians did not go to one of your games and you come home from a game and the parent that did not attend, what's the most common question they ask you? Did you win? Or kind of the covert way of asking it by saying, how'd you do? You know, they're trying to get to the outcome, trying to get the result. What happened on the scoreboard?

And if you won, awesome, fantastic, hugs and kisses, high fives all around, popsicles for everybody. If you lost, ooh, what happened? Do you not play well enough? No hugs, no kisses, no popsicles. And then this, this pattern that's now been formed from the time you were knee high continues all the way through your adolescent years.

Now it's your, your, your value based on your grades or your continued accomplishments in sport or whatever activities you did all the way up to adulthood to that point where you're in the backyard barbecue with one of your neighbors. And your neighbors leans over and says, Ah, the Jones is down the street. They're really successful. What are they referring to? The scoreboard. The achievements, the accomplishments, the house, the car, the sweet IG vacation pics, like all of that.

So, of course, you're at this stage in your life where you have been thought, you've been taught, and you've been thinking that for you to be a man, for you to be enough, for you to be valued as a man, is based on your accomplishments. Only to find out that it never ends.

You're always going to be wanting to accomplish more and thus feeling unfulfilled So we have to rewire that and know that who you are your identity is not tied to the scoreboard It's not tied to what you can achieve and accomplish. So what the hell are you trying to create? Everything that lies on the human dimension, the achieving, the accomplishing space, only leads to further stress, anxiety, worry, disconnection, misalignment.

Everything on the being dimension, my friend, is what you're looking for. So, you know, I've had men who I've talked to who have dreams and aspirations of, say, for example, getting a Lamborghini. And it's like, I want this Lamborghini. And outside of the desire to Make up for something they're lacking for in this Lamborghini.

It's to look as if they're more important or they have status and that they've, they've achieved something because look, in order to buy a Lamborghini, you've probably achieved some level of wealth. So you're just kind of showing everyone like, look what I've achieved. But when we get down, we peel back the layers of the onion. What they're really looking for is a feeling that the Lamborghini gives them. And oftentimes it's fulfillment, it's joy, it's pleasure.

And I'm willing to bet you can find those elements in your life in other areas other than the Lamborghini. Cause at Lamborghini, once you get it and you realize you're disconnected from the true desire that you have for that, it's just, it's a hunk of metal. And what's it doing for you? It's probably just sitting in a garage and you only drive it on the weekends cause you don't want to get too dirty. You don't want to put a lot of miles on it. Now, what you got?

So, true fulfillment comes from experiencing versus achieving and or accomplishing. And the experience that you want is tied to the things that you can create in your life. See, there's a difference between accomplishing having a Lamborghini versus experiencing the, the pleasure and the joy of driving a Lamborghini. See, when we are aligned with our being and when we are disconnected from achieving and accomplishing and focusing on experiencing, we actually get to enjoy those things.

We can enjoy the car. We can enjoy our relationships. We can enjoy our business and our kids and we can enjoy working out and training because we're disconnected from, I got to hit this number. I got to be this weight. I got to lift this much. I got to run this fast. And just enjoying and experiencing it. So, experiencing versus achieving really is our second step. The first step was shifting our mindset. The second step here is achieving versus experiencing.

So, instead of obsessing over the end result, the scoreboard, which I know you do, and it keeps a lot of you up at night, stress, it's impacting your health and well being, and you do not have solutions to combat that, even if you did. You're still rooted in this, this misaligned desire to achieve and accomplish.

So, you know, if you're building a business, for example, and you're enjoying the process of creating it, connecting with other people, exploring what is possible in this innovation that you have, and it's aligned with you, how does that feel? And I'm willing to bet it's a lot different than I'm trying to make a million dollars or you know, I'm trying to hit this level of, of status. And I'll give you a private example.

When I had originally started my a business, probably about seven, eight years ago, I was really working with athletes. And when I started my first podcast, I was looking for guests who were former athletes and just interviewing them around how they transitioned to life after sport. And I interviewed probably one of the most successful.

female athletes ever in the U. S. She's actually the first woman and at the date of this podcast, still the only woman to achieve an Olympic medal in both the summer and the winter Olympics. And what she explained to me was, she says, Look, I got these medals and the first one she got was the gold medal in the summer Olympics in track and field. And she says, I got that medal and I was so excited. And as soon as I got off the podium, as soon as I got home, The medal went into the drawer.

Couldn't wait to get back to practice. See, it wasn't the achieving of the medal. It was the process, the experience of training and pushing herself beyond limits that she or others thought she was capable of. And so, the same thing with your business. Finding a business or shifting the way you look at your business from outcome, achieving, accomplishing oriented to, this is what I want to experience in my business. What are those things?

And so, the, the idea that I want to achieve something is a much different approach than I want to become fill in the blank. I want to become the man capable of experiencing a business that I love, I enjoy, that serves others, that's supporting my family. I want to experience that. I want to become that man. So that's the difference, which takes us to step number three.

Which is being versus doing where most of us are ingrained and taught and the only examples we really have is in doing and so when you live in that constant state of doing constantly grinding, striving to accomplish something for this quarter, for this month, for this year. You're, what is truly, you, what you are denying yourself and delaying yourself is joy, is some level of freedom and even happiness. Even though happiness, I believe, is a lot of peaks and valleys.

Through the process, there's going to be peaks and valleys of your happiness. The overarching thing that you're delaying is actually joy in your life. It's this mentality that, once I achieve it, then I'll enjoy it. Bullshit! You enjoy it now, and if you're not enjoying it now, There is a whole different conversation. We got to make a an incredibly Monstrous shift there. Maybe not a big monster ship. It's a shift needs to happen.

So it's not waiting to enjoy it It's enjoying it now because how can you expect to actually enjoy it when you get there? When in fact, you don't even enjoy process of creating and being through that, through whether it be in work or in your relationships or in parenting, all areas of your life. So, when you focus on being, you really do start to embody purpose. and presence and really taking on your mission. What that mission is in your life.

Your mission is not to stack zeros on the end of a number on a paycheck. Those things may or may not come. And it, it, it, even if they were to come. There's a lot, it's, it's much different to experience them and actually enjoy them than to have been so focused on doing and achieving where you can't even enjoy them because now your health is out of whack. Now you're, you're divorced. Now you only get your kids a couple days a week. Can anybody relate? Yes, I've been there. I tried it.

I tried to accomplish. I tried to achieve. On that scoreboard primarily in business and money and I can tell you it doesn't work. It creates the apocalyptic episodes that maybe you've seen your friends do Go through or maybe you have already gone through and if you're not there yet And this is your thinking achieving accomplishing my friend.

You have a choice You can get involved in our programs here at be the torch and prevent that from happening Or I'll see you in the next 36 months, five years when it does happen and you're scrambling and suffering and looking to ease the pain. It's your choice. So the last part of this is really the mistakes that I see a lot of, of men take. And that is number one, they believe that success equals happiness.

Again, when you're looking at success as a level as an outcome, a result, or as I call the scoreboard, then you are going to be disconnected from the happiness. And most importantly, the joy of experiencing the success that you are seeking to create. So more often than not, success equals more pressure, stress. Overwhelm, lack of freedom, and a lot of pain and disconnection. Myth number two is, look, if I just grind, if I just work harder, then I'll feel fulfilled.

Again, fulfillment does not lie on anything you can accomplish on the scoreboard of your life. So, get over it. If it's, if it's purpose and passion and fulfillment. And joy that you seek, you're not going to find it in any new deal that you land. A nice car that you buy you know, divorcing one woman and going out and quickly fighting another one. It's just, that's not where it lies.

The next mistake I often hear in men is that, well, okay, I failed on this one, but when I hit this next goal, you know, then I'm going to have. The, the feelings that I want. Again, go back to mistake number two and number one you know, if, if you're not feeling the joy and happiness and the fulfillment now, my friend, you are not going to experience it whenever you quote unquote accomplish any level of success.

So what I really want you to take away, and I hope you got a few nuggets from this, is the difference between being and doing, but most importantly, accomplishing. and experiencing. So what I would love for you to do in this process is don't wait, go now. The happiness and the joy is waiting for you. So go find that today. Don't don't waste any more time. You can continue to get that through all of my on my channels here. So make sure you subscribe to get access to more of this free content.

If you're like, look, I've maximized all the free work that in trainings that you give me cleaners, and you're ready for that next level. That's where we can step in and help you the best entry point to self mastery through be the torch is what I call master Your morning.

So if you go to cleatus coffee comm forward slash morning, you can get access to my master your morning cheat sheet It's your first step in dipping your toe into the water of self mastery By learning to master your morning and once you get that you'll be in my ecosystem and I can communicate with you and provide you a lot of more free resources, but also get you access to different programs and trainings that we have. So you can take this self mastery to the next level.

Again, my friend, as always, appreciate your time and energy. Go ahead. If this resonated with you, please share this with another brother, someone out there that can benefit from this. That's why I put this content out there to share it and be of service to more men. Thank you.